Q&A! Living With Mom, Mismatched Dancers, & Sending Texts To The Wrong Person - Ep 182 - Dear Shandy

[@ningyding]

Well, I didn’t think there could be a thing cuter than you two singing together but then you danced for us.

[@stardustmelody2709]

I once sent a text to my husband telling him everything I was going to do to him when he got home. A few minutes later, I got a text from his sister saying “Wrong sibling but sounds like a good time”. I was so embarrassed because it was a very detailed text.

[@louiselanthier5135]

I got my gerbils to watch the Superbowl along with some special snacks!

[@jordanmayer5621]

Andy’s famous last words: “you know what it’s like?” 😅💕

[@CPG659]

Literally the funniest ever when Andy said he sent even meaner texts to confuse the situation with the guy he sent the wrong text to. Reminds me of my uncle who beeps his car horn quickly first when HE makes a mistake on the road to confuse the other driver and trip him out who’s in the wrong 😂

[@mangoesandgrapes3073]

what Sharleen said in the Dr. Franco episode is so true - that friendships can be SO much more challenging and nebulous to navigate than romantic relationships. after listening to the heartbreaking text story here - i was wondering - can we have a Shandy segment devoted just to addressing thorny friendship questions? also please never stop bopping! love you guys

[@peidan86]

I was dying 😅😅😅 at Andy’s story of doubling down when he sent the wrong text. Omg 😂😂😂 you guys are too funny.

[@sugarlex23]

I can’t be the only one whose house started blasting “What is Love” as soon as Andy said “Alexa…” lol

[@evildoesnotsleep-x2b]

Like Roni in Q1, I also credit you Shandy with making me believe I can find and build a healthy loving relationship where I can and should have fun in. I'm surrounded by unhealthy dynamics and for a long time I thought yeah that's not for me. Thank you for leading by example and giving us the tools to be our best selves in a relationship

[@delagonz4295]

Effort- I had the same issue, my husband loves biking 🚴‍♀️ it made me uncomfortable and nervous. I tried for him….. to this day I’m sooooo happy i did, as our life grew our kids are now into it and it’s become a family adventure! Even the dog goes in a basket in my bike and we love it. For a homebody like me this was a huge leap. Try it…. 🕺

[@hebelu959]

OMG! I love these two. It was the dance party for me🕺🏾 💃🏽 ❤

[@amylima7534]

I’m laughing so hard that tears are coming out at Andy’s “I love you” text! Thank you for the laughs Shandy!

[@Rachel-rs7jn]

For the text situation, I am left wondering if the "friend" was shocked to find out that Anonymous sees through her and doesn't just lap up what she has to give, and found it easier to run away than to face it. She doesn't want to know why Anonymous was feeling that way. I think you handled that question beautifully, and I 100% agree with your comments and advice.

[@katemccubbins2729]

I totally had Sharleen pegged as an experienced dancer, like classically trained! I think I stereotyped because she is a stage performer. Thank you for the fun episode!

[@bachwithsoli]

(here on a rewatch 😇) Andy’s dancing advice is so spot on. I confess I’ve been doing this myself lately to prep for my wedding, which is in Argentina with my dance-crazy-all-night huge fam. it truly does work for boosting confidence to let loose!! AND a decent workout eh ohhhh

[@kelseylovesart]

Alexa playing Kpop instead of the song Andy intended had me dying 😂 Loved the dancong though

[@DaliaHarami]

…and all of OUR Alexa’s perked up :)

[@AndBethable]

The I love you text… really great story ❤ with lols

[@staceydickey1318]

I was having so much fun during this episode that I didn’t want it to end!!

[@theresa9925]

Sharleen & Andy...I really enjoy your podcast. You are entertaining and give good advice. I really loved your advice about friends who cannot work through issues. I had a coworker for over 3 years. We ate lunch together every day and did things together outside of work. In my mind we were very good friends. After I retired, she would not answer my calls or texts. I told her if I had done something to upset her...I was sorry and asked we could please talk about it. Finally, she sent me an email and said she was going to be honest...she never liked me, she only acted like she did b/c we had to work together. Now that I was retired, she did not want me in her life. I was so upset at first. However, realized that I had four other coworkers that considered me a friend. Nine years later...we still get together 3-4 times a year...so I must not be that bad. Now I just laugh about it & call her my 'imaginary friend' LOL

[@louisadesousa8588]

The dancing at the end was so great! Made my week.

[@Starsk3000]

Words can’t describe how much I needed to hear you guys speak about the friend that wasn’t willing to talk things out after being upset. I feel very validated by someone else apologizing percúdela even though they felt hurt and then the other person developing a victim complex

[@playfulwarrior]

You two are the BEST. That dance at the end was everything 💃💃💃❤😻

[@lynnep.1207]

I listened to this on my commute earlier today but had to come and watch the final question on KZbin just to see the dancing. 😂. Loved it and thanks for a great podcast.

[@jennybryantrussell3419]

You know we need vest/shirt details Sharleen - love how fun this episode was!

[@dearshandy]

Thank you! The set is from Zara!

[@keke7945]

Your Q and As are my favorite!!

[@dearshandy]

Thank you Keke!!

[@snappykrab]

Love the dancing at the end

[@gloria7819]

Not Twice playing at the end 😭🤣🤣

[@af2171]

How cute are you two?! You both crack me up. I'm watching these in reverse order and liking you both more and more as I go. I just love how you both interact and your perspective on communication and relationships. Andy, I love that you said I love you!!!! That is sooo funny!! And so hilarious that you didn't correct it!!! I was really surprised by your dancing advice... I thought for sure you'd say she shouldn't dance if she doesn't want to - and I thought it was very stinky that he wouldn't take lessons. What a nice compromise for Effort to offer. However, I am one of those people who LOVE to dance, so I'm slightly biased and like your take that it is a pretty innocent request. Still think the boyfriend should take those lessons.

[@chelseac.1238]

Real estate is cheaper in the winter because of school. Everyone wants to get moved and settled in the summertime before school starts. Here in Texas it can be $300-$500 cheaper rent to move in the winter 😁

[@cassandrachestnut4839]

in addition, less people are buying real estate during winter months due to same reasons stated above, holidays and n northeast…cold weather. realtors know new listings in spring is best.

[@Velvet3699]

The 2 of you are adorable!

[@janelle7263]

Anyone who doesn’t watch your podcast videos misses out on rhythmic booping to unintended songs played lol If you ever need an ad for your podcast, that part is it. Infinite laughter

[@janelle7263]

Autocorrect prefers it to be called booping lol

[@bouldergirl528]

Re: living with mom...I feel like I'm alone in this thought (in my group of friends). I made it clear to my two kids that my job was to raise them into mature and successful adults, I'm here for them no matter what they need, but they need to move on when they're ready, financially and emotionally. I never had a "get out and start your life" attitude, nor did I have a "don't leave, you're my baby" attitude. Most all of my friends are one or the other, not like me. Caren

[@thenopedetective]

I wonder for #3 if the guy might also be quite tired? 2.5 hours even two ways is quite a bit of driving, so if it’s two ways and he’s often sleeping on couches it wouldn’t surprise me if he just doesn’t have energy to put plans to paper outside of work. As Andy said, there really needs to be an honest talk about this. I think she needs to be ready to hear what he says too as I get the sense, as Sharlene said, that she may be putting words into his mouth a bit optimistically.

[@laurieemme1534]

Loved your dancing at the end! I think you should include dancing in every outro!

[@nk47100]

Actually real estate does drop in the fall and the winter. Costs go up in the spring and we see more sales then.

[@Dee-ny5tz]

I have a friend who was in a similar situation as the Shandy in Q1 and when it didn't work out with the girl he kept seeing instead of her, he didn't reach back out. But they did match on Bumble again and that's when it was reignited and they did go on to date for a few months. I think maybe sometimes they just need a nudge to know that you're okay with them reaching back out? Some people are more of the mentality "you didn't choose me the first time, leave me alone forever". But I also agree that if they really liked you in the first place, they'd risk the potential rejection (maybe you're not interested anymore, maybe you're seeing someone else) and reach back out no matter what.

[@macaroni459]

At the risk of exposing myself as the Shandy in Q1 😅this is exactly why I felt like I should send that text. This was too much context to add to an already-long email, but based on what I'd learned about him, he's the kind of person who would likely think it was disrespectful/crossing a boundary to reach back out if things didn't work out with the other girl. I did end up texting him that he can feel free to contact me if we were both single in the future and he said he "definitely would". Figured there was nothing to lose, since he was already gone anyway haha.

[@Dee-ny5tz]

@@macaroni459 aw I'm so glad you ended up sending that text! If he's the type that may not reach out simply out of respect, I think it makes sense to give him that nudge so he knows it's okay.

[@barbaramackenzie8761]

Love, love, LOVE this episode

[@Rachel-rs7jn]

I have to admit, I was a bit surprised at your take on the last one. I don't disagree with your advice to help her try to meet her partner halfway, but I also think that on his end he's being a little demanding. To use your language, wanting your partner to go dancing with you is a "want", not a "need" in a relationship.

[@lightlightlight88]

To Roni, the words to tell yourself, "Thank you - Next" , I can tell you deserve a person that see's you as the only one - and they are out there if tgat is what you are ready for and ready to give back. Thank you dear Shandy for your great insights.

[@wakaywa]

*Blessed by you. Thnx for all.

[@AP-vo2mp]

Q4: This is why I reserve emotionally charged conversations for face to face. I avoid texting because people can screen shot the conversation and it might get to the wrong audience that way too.

[@cecil.321]

My mind is blown listening to Sharleen’s experience with her friend not wanting to fix the friendship and relishing in punishing you… i thought I was alone! I had a very similar experience. Lost what I thought was my best friend but she showed me her true colors by not wanting to hear why I was upset with her and essentially ghosted me. I was shocked she was ok leaving a 15 year friendship like that! However, my life is so much more at peace without her in it ✌️

[@marisamartinez1477]

For Q4 I think even though it's embarrassing what happened she was unhappy with the friendship anyway it's for the best that it ended without having to explain why the friendship wasn't working etc. I cut off someone who was one of 3 friends I had in my new city and even though I was more lonely I'm still glad I did it because I was unhappy in the friendship.

[@louiselanthier5135]

Dance the Night Away by Van Halen is an awesome song! I used to love to roller skate to that song!

[@LK-rt9cb]

I have the same problem as Effort, compounded by the fact that the venues (often multi-day dance festivals) are full of people who are on “amplifiers” I don’t care to partake of. It can be extremely uncomfortable. And the more someone pushes you to be “natural,” the stiffer you inevitably become. The only solution I’ve found is to imitate other people in the dance space. I’ve learned that I’m better at satire than dancing.

[@laurieemme1534]

Also, your plant is thriving -- perhaps due to your Lomi? It looks like it's reaching for the water in your glass!

[@sandrabrooks3373]

Yes, the plant is making a comeback even after they were in Denver for a while

[@dearshandy]

Yes! Andy’s been sprinkling it with Lomi soil and it’s gradually coming back to life (he’s very proud of it too) 😅

[@kellyelliott3797]

Here for the fish discussion! Hilarious!

[@GS-ff5dd]

Or she keeps music on at home while cooking or doing housework it will slowly sink into a habit of moving with the music. In my family we end up doing jokey moves and silly dances which makes dancing less self-conscious and a habit. When she had to do it in public it wouldn't be so much of a big step to take

[@sandrabrooks3373]

Here for the plant and the socks. You are awesome 😎

[@doggonepositive]

Effort should dance like Elaine Benice😂

[@laurieemme1534]

The thumbs and the kicks!

[@deniserichard5613]

It's Elaine Bennett.

[@doggonepositive]

@@deniserichard5613 actually I spelled it wrong it’s Elaine Benes 😀

[@doggonepositive]

@@laurieemme1534 Right ? That was such a great episode 😂

[@Foreverbecca]

Q2 should reply “sure I’ll meet up with you, but you have to get me the deets on how many other girls you sent this exact text to” Honestly Andy’s right, dude is a clown…. as annoying as he sounds, his method is also quite hilarious, and personally I’d want to know more! Worst case, you find out he’s a total psycho, best case it’s a romcom situation where you become platonic best friends and watch him continue these antics for years until you both eventually accidentally fall in love!

[@shannon.a.smithh]

As a Shandy and a kpop fan, that Alexa moment was such a happy accident for me 😊

[@sheristrykowski4690]

😂 always somethin ... Otter, Alexa Stop! Love when the algorithms bring this channel up in my feed.

[@snappykrab]

Oh man the text sent to wrong person. I just did the same thing. Luckily, it wasn’t too obvious that it wasn’t meant for them. It definitely could’ve been worse. However, as soon as I realized I did what Andy suggested and made a joke and it kept the convo light. Whew, also the person I texted wasn’t a close friend but someone who was organizing an event that I didn’t want to attend. I did have to go as the text correction lead to joking about people who don’t come to these things. 😅

[@Starsk3000]

Omg TWICE lmao so adorable

[@aileenmoira]

Canned Heat by Jamiroquai IS the perfect song to dance like no one’s watching.

[@MsAymzz]

I think M needs to be more understanding and accepting of her bf’s culture. She mentioned the living situation is normal in his culture, as it is in mine. I lived with family until I was 27 and I only moved out because I moved to another country for work. If I moved back to the area my family lives, I would go back to living with them now at 29 because I’m not married. And if I had a partner that unfortunately didn’t seem understanding of this aspect of my culture, I would also come up with various excuses when the topic is repeatedly broached, since clearly my culture being the reason isn’t a good enough reason. I think M should decide if she’s okay with this aspect of his culture or not and act accordingly. It’s not fair to pressure him to change his culture to fit her idea of what is normal.

[@janelle7263]

Brandon and Serene definitely gave halibut vibes lol I think that’s why they lasted

[@laurieemme1534]

For Brandon, it's more like corny or cheesy vibes! 🤣

[@laurieemme1534]

It just dawned on me which song Andy probably wanted Alexa to play. "What is Love?" from SNL and Night at the Roxbury?

[@machinelevine1]

Yup that was the plan!

[@laurieemme1534]

Your "seated" dance moves remind me of a friend who would do the same thing in the car when I was driving - I referred to it as his interpretive dance moves! I would laugh so hard I'm surprised we didn't end up in a ditch! 🤣

[@deniserichard5613]

Hi Shandy! Love you guys!!! I feel that the lady with the man who liked to dance should at least try both your advice since it's something he really enjoys. She could have social anxiety. I do and really what it comes down to is afraid of what people will think of her dancing. We should never stop ourselves to do something for fear of judgment otherwise we're not living our lives but living other people's lives. It's a hang up that people have. I believe that it's insecurities that we have that makes us care what others think. I think we should all work on what makes us feel insecure. It makes us grow. She could take baby steps as to have more confidence in herself and tell her man that she's willing to work on it. He will a least fell that she's making an "Effert". LOL!

[@Rachel-rs7jn]

I have a feeling that the first person's name is pronounced "Ronny". 😄(Even if it's written with one "n".)

[@57andstillkicking]

I don’t have that feeling. 😀

[@macaroni459]

Your feeling is correct 😁

[@BriMyselfAndEye]

Overall take away: be specific and don’t just reach out for the halibut 🐟 -sorry, I’ll see myself out of the comment section 😅😅

[@joshyorgason]

Try the Just Dance video game! Teaches you moves. :)

[@qqq829]

HI. Do you get lil' nats from the Lomi stuff?

[@machinelevine1]

No way! It’s air tight!

[@colleen.g]

I'm a bit of a broken record on this, but I think it bears repeating. I don't think whether Andy's hilarious and kind of outrageous approach to covering up the missent text would work is a gendered thing. It seems very likely to me that it just hinges on personality and how your potentially offended friend sees you. If you have a track record of having an out there/somewhat provocative sense of humour, then yeah, it could work! I imagine the recipient of Andy's text probably thought something like "Man... sometimes, I really don't get Andy's weird sense of humour... Anyway!" 😅 Also, yeah, the fact that the mistake was caught immediately probably made all the difference!

[@terrinegron]

Thankful for OS 16.. lol

[@helenegoderis8986]

A. we demand video of Sharleen's bop, B. it's like that scene in My Best Friend's Wedding where Cameron Diaz gets pressured into karoake: her singing is awful, so awful that everyone is enthralled by her terrible performance

[@leslieberkower8163]

Elaine totally “bad dancing” on Seinfeld 😊

[@GS-ff5dd]

Just dance is part of lady gaga song

[@purple_giraffe24]

Hi, does the Lomi code work in Canada?

[@machinelevine1]

It most certainly does!! 🍁 🇨🇦

[@sarahmuller9482]

Still listening but the key for me in Roni's email was she said timing was the issue. Timing was not the issue. The issue was he likes this other person more as sucky as that is. I agree. Do not respond. He has made his decision.

[@angelagreen1266]

💯

[@CommonTerry2024]

Methinks the dancing boyfriend is afraid to show his moves to a pro, who might suggest he's not really dancing.

[@AP-vo2mp]

Q2: If a guy leaves you, let him go on forever. You deserve someone who wants what you want.

[@harrylederman1679]

Like watching Elaine from Seinfeld,, terrible dancing is that of Feeling delete some musicv

[@theBoringL]

Idk if I am overinterpreting the dance situation but that bf came off a bit of a jerk. Dancing is 100% a skills thing, with talent, that I wish I had. sadly I do not. gf is making an effort trying to go to lessons but was shot down because "just be natural. just dance." it kinda doesn't work that way... LOL the way he handled that situation made me quite uncomfortable. there are just things some people are better than others at. I am totally down to build a mutual hobby but on the flip side, forcing someone into doing something to the extent that the other person feels like it's always gonna be a "thing" that comes up in squabbles is not really cool or worthwhile imo. it is fine to have individual hobbies. find something else you both are ok and comfortable with.

[@justdawn5]

This is where you can utilize having kids. There was a big family fight going on and I was trying to read to my kids and everyone kept texting me all angry about a particular person. I sent a text back that luckily wasn’t too bad and didn’t have names and accidentally sent it to the particular person. And he’s the type that would have been absolutely outraged at the thought people were talking about him and not taking his side. It was something like he thinks he’s always right or some statement like that. I saw what I’d done and almost threw up. Then I handed my phone to my kid and let him type in gobbledygook and then pushed send again. Then I waited a little bit and texted “huh my kid had my phone and was sending texts to people. Autocorrect makes for some interesting texts when he pushes random buttons He’s always trying to do that and he got it this time while it was still open. I need to check and make sure he didn’t order a pizza or some new furniture or something. “ Technically true. The guy fell for it and sent a joke back about the kid being an evil genius. I felt all shaky after this encounter like I’d narrowly missed being hit by a bus. Same kid a while later….when he was four….walked into a room and handed my three year old a folded up scrap of paper. Like he was a secret agent. The three year old looked at it all befuddled. I took it away and it was MY password for my phone that he must have spied on me to get. I don’t know what he thought the three year old was going to do with it. So with his personality it was believable that he could have gotten my phone and texted people lol

[@dearshandy]

Haha this is brilliant! Kids to save the day 😂👏👏

[@charlieandrews7915]

Brilliant.brilliant.brilliant! This content desperately needs "PromoSM"!!!