Q&A (Marriage Tension Over Decluttering)

I'm answering a few questions. You can sign up for my newsletter jat www.aslobcomesclean.com/newsl... and you'll get access to a video in which I teach my 5 step decluttering process.

[@micheledryden1057]

For several months I've been slowly decluttering my home with little input from my hubby. This week, without any comments from me, he's decluttered the magazine rack in the bathroom and the top of his desk. :)

[@kathystearns9012]

So did mine !!! ❤️

[@loriwarner4777]

I got glass containers with snap on lids about 3 years ago for health reasons and love them. Out of all the accomplishments I have had in the past 30 years my husband who hates change most often comments on what a brilliant idea it was to get those containers and store them with the lids on. I think that’s a win😂

[@Ripplesinthewaters]

I love the word, “crapalanche”! It’s just perfect! Also, “Procrsticlutter”. Just so descriptive!

[@TheNinnyfee]

"Crapalanche" is brilliant.

[@SF-ru3lp]

"De-slobification" is another great one! G Ire

[@Knicole927]

We just moved, so I’ve been loving watching decluttering and organizing videos lately. That said, we’d already decluttered and overall vastly minimized our possessions before selling our last home. Just as Dana says- I started with my things and household items that didn’t affect my husband. I also helped my daughter go through her toys and purge them. My husband one day came home from work and just started decluttering his drawers in the table by his recliner. Then it was his clothes. Then baseball hats. Now that we’re settling into the new house, he’s already planning to purge more stuff he no longer has a use for. I honestly believe it would’ve taken him longer if I’d pushed it or nagged him. All I asked of him was to stay in a couple of certain “zones” with his stuff in common areas. The rest took care of itself. Compromise, people. It’s what makes the world go ‘round.

[@kobrien7945]

I embrace minimalism, my husband does not. So that my husband doesn’t just fill the spaces I have worked hard at emptying, I put empty storage containers or boxes back on shelves. The storage shelf still looks full and he cannot add more stuff to it. I also have random empty draws. If he cannot see the space he does not fill it with his stuff. That being said after many years of me being minimal and he being a maximalist he started going through some of his stuff which was no longer relevant and getting rid of it. He even got rid of old clothes that don’t fit. Small steps but even the children noticed and wanted to know who swapped out their dad.

[@LilCraftyNook]

🤣🤣🤣🙌🏻

[@robynyoung711]

I have an empty drawer or shelf in every room. I love the idea.

[@sandyh8755]

I was decluttering our basement storage room a while back and my husband started putting stuff in every empty space. I put an empty card box with the top closed in every spot and he stopped doing that!

[@kobrien7945]

@@sandyh8755 It works doesn’t it. Otherwise if they see a space they fill it.

[@TheDriftwoodlover]

I love it - fake stuff to fool the hub. 🤣🤣

[@sfowler1017]

I can testify that handling my own stuff definitely got my husband on board!

[@itschamamama2466]

Same here. 😃

[@michelleprice5945]

same here! my husband is now decluttering the garage. 😁👍

[@anitas5817]

Yes worked for me too. He just started to notice and appreciate the calmer environment.

[@ChristianAnneSmith]

I too have noticed my husband going through his stuff....it took several years of me decluttering, but it is happening. Deal with yourself/ your stuff. It’s all you can do/ it’s all you should do. I go out of my way to never get rid of his stuff and to ask about our shared stuff. Finally the trust is starting; took a long time.

[@jenniferstanton202]

This gives me hope. I started in December and have just been working my own Spaces.

[@dmmosher]

A KZbinr who knows how to use the word "fewer"! I'm so happy. Love your videos!

[@kateweatherwax6484]

Her English is fantastic. She told the story of one time when she put a book in the trash instead of the donation box because it had a spelling mistake in the title. I realised at that moment just how excellent she is!

[@mjcossel6136]

And I love that she cited her source on the made-up word! ❤️😍

[@joannevans2829]

That’s a rare occurrence anywhere. It drives me batty!

[@mrsalethajune]

I visited my sister and her family last fall and I couldn't help it...I took one look at her food storage containers and asked if I could sort them for her. My sis said YES PLEASE. They were falling down the backside of the lazy Susan so after exhuming them all from the cupboard, I put them back Dana style, as it had changed my life, and told her to just give it a try. Well, she got back to me that she AND her husband absolutely love it and are never going back to the old chuck it in method. :-) They got rid of the bag of extras and mismatched ones and keep up with the lid-on method!

[@kimg5784]

Love this video- Every time I declutter my husband asks me where is my (post it note, green shoe lace, teal sock he was saving) blank- he's a clutterbug and I want to live minimally. Luckily we love each other and have been together for 35 years. We've learned to smile and walk away -which is the key to a sane marriage.

[@Toontricia]

My husband is always asking Where did you hide the ____? Two completely different ideas on where to put things for sure.

[@djf8619]

@@Toontricia I had to laugh because it is exactly the opposite in my house. I am always asking hubs where he put my stuff.

[@jinde75]

I decluttered a kitchen kabinet and showed my spouce and kids what goes there now. I have labeled kabinets and drawers here and there when I was certain about a change.

[@theampski3794]

My contribution to the negative impact is what paralyzes me. It's not usually the stuff-overwhelm. It's the realization-overwhelm that I am crippling my own life. Thank you so much, sweetie! You are helping me change my life.

[@juliemarshall7458]

It takes a lot of time and energy to make a video, and you've really been cranking them out lately! Thank you so much for them, as well as for making my life so much better! Much love to you and your family!

[@katythriftyunder35homeowne57]

Agree- she's killin it on the pod & KZbin!! Plus 'doing the dishes!'

[@judyzander3681]

I've been decluttering for years. Still waiting for my Hubby to get on board.🙄 he still sees it as loss of $$ and "could be useful so keep it". It makes me so mad and we fight about it! I just have to keep reminding myself that I have sooo much more I could still declutter!!😔

[@LilCraftyNook]

OMG!! Mine too!! I told him what one of these ladies (I forgot which) pointed out (not ver batim) “The money has already been spent-keeping it just intensifies the guilt of having bought something you don’t use” He actually listened!!

[@jenniferdowns9327]

I am sooo with you both! My husband is the same way too and he always wants to keep kitchen / cooking tools and gadgets... But I do all the cooking! It's so frustrating because we have a small apt kitchen and not a lot of storage space for all the great cooking gadgets I never use but he thinks are useful and that decluttering them is wasting money. Meanwhile, I'm thinking... "the most useful thing to me while I'm cooking or filling our shelves with groceries is.... usable space!" Arg!

[@leahrowe847]

@@jenniferdowns9327 try putting them in a basket/box for "quarantine" for a month or so; then, if the items haven't been used donate the box without opening it. This method can be a great compromise bc your proving to the hubby the "quarantined" items are truly unnecessary to your household & just taking up space, & he sees you value his opinion & are willing to compromise on hastily discarding something he "values," which turns a fight into a Win/Win. Just be sure to set up ground rules for items in each box... i.e. items cannot be removed if another item can do the same job, you have another one, ect. (Some hoarders will sabotage the process in order to get items outta "quarantine" & thus save them from donation.) Try to imagine "worst case" scenarios & cover your bases b4 hand. Good luck!

[@thehappinesstree8089]

We do that with our food storage too but I don't close them. I sit the tub on top of the upside down lid, so they're together but they don't go smelly

[@djf8619]

I started in the kitchen, and it did make a huge difference. Then, my bedroom. These are the places one spends a lot of time in, and it is nice to have them free from clutter.

[@helenhunicke6520]

Thank you so much for another video. Ssh! Don’t tell anybody, but you’re my favorite cleaning & decluttering coach. They all have a good message, but I especially enjoy your delivery!

[@diehardpbrfan]

We took a load of stuff to the dump. Our garage looks so much better. Please continue your videos. YOU motivate people.

[@moniquefuselier7711]

Yes, to the containers/lids being stored as a single item!!! I resisted for so long and has totally eliminated me having to deal with these on an ongoing basis! It also "gave me permission" to get rid of nearly all of the plastic ones I don't like and start using the glass ones I prefer.

[@jillianguilford5191]

I'm looking forward to doing that. I'm working in the bathroom now, nearly finished. But I have 2 shelves and a deep drawer of containers and lids - not counting what's in use. Gonna free up some space and make it easier to work in the kitchen.

[@trishawestbrook5720]

Crapalanche is completely on point and love how well it describes what happens. Keep using it.

[@PatfromJamul]

I agree! In your vidro, it was the first time I had heard this word. It is totally descriptive of the action that results. An amazing word; humorous, but paints a great picture. Please continue using it.

[@Phopunzil]

Quit worrying about what people say. You are ALWAYS going to have somebody who is going to criticize you for something!! You are fine just the way you are.

[@sarahk758]

I know I’m just seeing this a year after you posted it.. but I just have to say- your terminology is what makes these videos hit home so much more easily for me. Literally just wrote a note on my notepad for keeping me on target for Decluttering throughout the day: look for the crapalanche items in each visible space to donate. I’m so glad you include your made up words in your videos!! I love them all 😂💕

[@IAMNArtGirl]

Please, please do not censor yourself! Your frankness and the fact that you just put the reality of the topic right out there is what makes you so helpful to me. I appreciate that very much. Beating around the bush and shoving the truth in a corner is what got me into this mess In the first place.❤️❤️

[@carolc8311]

I really needed to hear this!! I have been carrying so much resentment about my husband’s stuff, and I haven’t even come close to decluttering my own stuff...I needed that attitude shift!

[@howbethdoesit5695]

My husband has no clutter...lol. honestly its all me. We have household stuff of course, but as for personal clutter...its me. The other day I said, hey why don't we go thru your closet and see if we can get rid of a few things. He said...ok yeah, lets do that. 10 slacks 15 shirts later....a total of 10 minutes, his originally organized closet, is better. Did not need a sweep, or a dust, or a re-fold. I swear the guy is perfect.

[@rockyconniecravens5128]

I was hesitant about attaching lids to storage containers as I have very little storage space but I tried it. I'll never go back to the crapalanche - a new word I will be using - that used to be my space for storage containers.

[@annw1395]

Visible spaces first is a good idea, altho sometimes i have to do closets or wherever in order to have the space to put the visible stuff away!

[@jenniferstanton202]

I literally thought the same thing! So I guess I'll it's a two part solution to get that high impact.

[@deborahgrover9358]

I was thinking the very same thing 😂

[@TheDriftwoodlover]

My problem too. But doing visible spaces is sometimes easier/faster and I can see progress

[@lindasokolnicki5286]

Same! I had to make room for my keep pile.

[@momminator98]

That's where the "one in one out rule" comes into play. When taking something from a visible space to a closet or storage area, if there is no room for it, you have to make a decision about whether it is worth replacing something in that space. If it goes in, something else as to leave.

[@itschamamama2466]

I purchased the audio version of your book Decluttering At The Speed of Life and it has helped me tremendously! I’ve listened through it completely at least 5 times and listen to it while I declutter for the reminders and motivation. 🥰 Starting with the visibility rule was the best thing ever. 😬❤️

[@suefrack2958]

Me too

[@emptychair8141]

I love this . Been gonna get the book but I'm gonna try audio👍

[@erinneikirk2120]

I listened both books 2x before moving in August 2020, SOOOO thankful Dana's journey! So INSPIRATIONAL!

[@pattilaurents954]

@@suefrack2958 me too! I listen over & over & Dana really motivates me without making me feel guilty or overwhelmed

[@pattimullinax7618]

Forty years ago comedian George Carlin had a routine "Your stuff is sh!t; my sh!t is STUFF!" SO true... LOL!

[@azwife35]

That's great. He also said "That's all your house is, is a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff".

[@JohnSmith-bk6ec]

I love George Carlin’s skit about stuff. He’s hilarious but spot on.

[@emilygathman6501]

You have inspired me to run the dishwasher as the last thing I do at night and then empty first thing. It has been a game changer! I also started storing containers with lids for our non lunch containers. I meal prep lunches for the week. This is a salad and hot portion for 2 each week. These are stored separately. I recycled 2 huge garbage bags full. This has made my home a happy place again as I have been moving through the house!

[@karlascreations1653]

Dana, I started with my linen closet and then moved to my bathroom, the laundry room, the kitchen. My husband was un board right away. He is a very tidy person so he is helping me so much. I see how my kids are starting to follow up. My kids are going through their cloths and stuff in their rooms. I am keeping up everything that I already declutter and keep moving through the rest of the house.

[@lorelynleisure4048]

Hahahaha! You poor thing, people need to reread things several times before commenting! Maaath! Love your sense of humor and the things you share are helping me more than anyone else I have ever listed to. Thank you!

[@sarahbanda155]

Genius! I usually try a drawer or mail pile (most of what’s hidden clutter) but focusing on my stuff first AND visible spaces makes much more sense 🤯 I don’t know why I never thought of it

[@Knicole927]

I took like three random decor items off a couple shelving units in the living room today and it honestly made a huge difference. Never underestimate the power of 5 minute decluttering sessions, especially in highly visible areas!

[@s.guidry2222]

Yes, yes, focus on your own clutter only....I like that. In my case , hubby acknowledged seeing the declutter and mentioned , after 9 months, how peaceful it seems now. And it is! Now the magic is that he now keeps his clutter beside his recliner clean!!! It’s a beautiful sight! Thank you !💕

[@cindywilkinson1610]

🤞 hoping my husband will see and 'feel' the difference and get on board.

[@sarahrodriquez4393]

I love this! Dana I am in the class and it has been LIFE CHANGING! I did start in a few areas that were for me, like my bathroom drawer, then I "practiced" keeping this one area clean. Then added one area at a time. So if I "fell off the wagon" then I could pick myself back up, and not have to hear it from anyone else. I did your do the dishes every night! Then I asked my hubby, what area that is 3X3 (I showed him my arms - this by this) that is driving you crazy. He mentioned 2 areas - and I tackled these areas.

[@ajm2048]

Yes! I noticed if/when cleaned all my stuff up , my man cleaned his stuff up too! Like he couldn’t blame the whole mess on my stuff anymore and therefore make an excuse to not chip away at it. When all that was left was his stuff I think he finally saw it

[@megananderson3891]

The meth thing had me rolling!! 😂

[@pattilaurents954]

me too! I don't think I will ever say math again without thinking meth

[@jillianguilford5191]

The energy in the house changes - I'm working on cabinets & drawers so I have space to put things. It's hidden, but it does feel better and inspires me to do more.

[@lisar9738]

I have read your books and have listened to all your podcasts. I think I’m on my 3rd round of listening. But podcast 278 really made a connection in my brain as you went through the steps of decluttering with Ellen. Hearing her ask herself if she really should get rid of this or that book and then you saying stop asking those questions and just take it to the bookshelf. No room on the shelf? Then swap out a book to make room. I know you have taught this many times but for some reason even though I knew your steps I was like Ellen and kept asking myself what I should get rid of and focusing on pressuring myself to get rid of things rather than to just put the things away and at the point when you can’t put it away then the least favorites go. I guess what I’m saying is even though I knew the steps- when I went to actually declutter or “clean” a space I would unconsciously revert back to looking for what I wanted or needed to get rid of which made me too stressed. Being reminded to focus on the container not the stuff really helps disarm your mind. When I focus on my stuff I feel overwhelmed, when I focus on the container all I have to decide is what to put there and get rid of the rest. Which is still hard but it’s the reality of having too much stuff.

[@bex438]

Crapalanche is such an apt word when you have a load of well crap 😉 I've experienced stuff falling out of cupboards onto the floor or me many times, but after more than 3 years of decluttering and minimalising my life these times are thankfully happening less and less 😊

[@melodyrae5076]

Thanks for the meth clarification I really didn’t want to start using meth just to declutter my clothes!! So many potential problems lol.

[@ktjomeyers]

I love your videos. They make me laugh. 😍 I love how down to earth you are!

[@marynellparker1103]

I've been decluttering for a while now. My husband got very sick a few weeks ago. Having a well kept house has made it much calmer for him. As I go back and forth from the hospital, I don't have to hunt for stuff because it's in the right place. You are doing good work that makes a difference for good in other people's homes. Keep up the good work!

[@lynnb4626]

Thank you, Dana, from South Africa! I've started watching you, clutterbug and Dawn for a short while now. I suppose because I've been searching for a remedy for decluttering my apartment. I live with my hubby and two sons, 11&13. I'm slowly decluttering using your method. It's going to be a long process, but I can see a change. My husband was skeptical and we nearly had arguments.. But I must say, I think I made a slight breakthrough in him. On Friday evening I was busy decluttering my bulging pj's/ camisole drawer that turned out wonderfully manageable. My drawer closed with ease and there's still space in it. Hubby walked in and I showed him my before picture. He was super motivated, that he started going through his sock drawer (yes, he has a drawer dedicated for socks!). I was impressed. I think slowly he'll get into this whole decluttering thing with me. Today I finally loaded my car with donations. I hate driving with a full boot, so I want to drop them off tomorrow before heading to work. I'm feeling pressured to get it out, because before I come back home, my sons school bags need to fit in my boot! ;) Then regarding the full cupboard of food storage containers; I remember as a child that my mom always sent one of the children or my dad to pack the plastic containers away, which usually ended up having a tower of Tupperware tumbling out on top of us. Yes, it was in a cupboard above our heads. I remember her calling it the "booby trap" cupboard! 🤣 I've also started placing the lids on them now. Hubby wasn't impressed, but I see he's warming up to the idea 😇 So I thank you again, Dana! Keep up the good work at helping normal people with clutter in their homes, become a bit more organized and feel good about themselves again. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@traceytobbe9122]

Yup we are getting there and yup my hubby says that very thing boy it looks so nice here since you have been getting rid of stuff. It's so great. Thank you so much. My brain so works like yours. The course is fantastic (take your house back)

[@kathyengland3534]

Well said, Dana! Thank you for speaking honestly from the heart. It has to start with us. My husband has been thanking me for taking the initiative with my own stuff. (BTW I have taught our granddaughter the "where is the first place you would look for this" rule, and she uses it now)

[@kelseydoncaster6389]

I tried this and I actually found that my containers fit better in my storage areas with lids than without. And it's way faster to put food away since the lid is right there!!

[@sandrareid4512]

The best tip ever: store storage containers with lids.

[@danixoxo8637]

Great tip. I do this. #1 easier to find what I need, #2 we eat leftovers all the time so we make new meals less often. :-)

[@robynyoung711]

Friday is trash day. Thursday night is leftover night. I wipe out the fridge after dinner Thursday.

[@dawnleader5535]

Thank you for your tip on how to declutter without pulling everything out. That stresses me out, especially when my toddlers start to play in my piles. GAME CHANGER! I now have 3 empty drawers in my kitchen and am being so much more intentional and productive. Thank you!

[@sandismiles2320]

Hi Dana! It is always a treat to see a video from you! Just signed up for your newsletter. With regard to how we view our own and other people’s belongings, my dad has been known to jokingly say, “let’s get rid of your “sh*t” to make room for my “stuff!” Yes, he is a hoot! 🤣

[@floridanativelh568]

Loving that you’re posting videos consistently.

[@TheDriftwoodlover]

Yes!!!

[@sudzanne9487]

Storing food containers with lids on is the dumbest thing I ever heard of… Until I tried it. Huge impact! Same thing with the concept of dealing with each item individually and taking it to its home as you are decluttering a space. That’s just going to be a Major time waster…. Wrong again. I never have a big mess to deal with if I’m interrupted or get tired. But mostly, it me encourages me to declutter fir five minutes if that’s all I have! Two of your best tips! Thank you

[@judysbakeryandtestkitchen1654]

I can vouch for all of this. My husband now likes the space

[@alannahollier2719]

Recently read both of your books, absolutely loved the decluttering book, and have recommended it to a few people including my mother who just spent a week decluttering her home using your guiding questions. Enjoying watching the videos that you are putting up on youtube too!

[@laurawade6335]

I started storing my food containers with the lids on...it works! 😀😀

[@verafriesen1372]

Even though I have lived an organized and pretty much decluttered life for many years. (It’s in my genes😊), I enjoy videos like yours and can still pick up new tips. Storing containers with lids on is one of them. So much easier not to be looking for lids. And I find they stack pretty well with the lids on. I would never have thought I would have room to do it before I tried it!

[@pameehanson3866]

Love your videos and the class as well as your YT channel. It took me time to realize WHY we use black bags! I kept tossing stuff only to find it later back in the cupboard. I have been trying to clear out the kitchen and anything with a crack or chip went only for me to find it back in the cupboard. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN, hubby would take garbage out and retrieve items and when I wasn't looking he put it back. I now only use black bags and I take out the trash that is not worth donating. He has a very hard time letting go and i never say one word about what I am doing and soon he is going thru his stuff and I've seen him toss some stuff. Thanks for sharing.

[@Savingmomma]

I am just happy you're doing another video!!!!

[@angierecovering_clutterer2434]

Just make sure that your food containers are completely clean and dry before you put the lids on. Otherwise you're in for a bleck-moment when you open it.

[@rachaellefevre1957]

For couples, sometimes it helps to have his and her sides. then just because you can't fit your stuff on your half doesn't mean I have to give up my space. My space IS full. It is full of breathing room. Also starting with, "Can we agree..." not on what to do with their stuff rather, "can we agree that everyone keeps their stuff off the dining table so we can eat dinner?" that is more collaborative and less accusatory.

[@bltlove2005]

Can I just say I 💕 that you’re making videos on the reg again? I don’t mind re-watching the old ones but I love that you’re doing it again. I realize it could be a short term thing but alas, I am happy it’s happening again! Also, love the sign with the beautiful passage in the back. What a great reminder of God’s desire to be in relationship with us!

[@What_For]

Thank you for your videos. Your ideas have really been a breakthrough for my frame of mind about things and decision making about things. My thought process is very similar to yours and simply put, you're the most helpful for my endeavor to reclaim the house. It's all so exhausting. You can try to organize and keep for the "just in case" but it always gets out of control and the reality is it's just too much to keep track of. There is something that goes deeper in the psyche, but you've hit the nail on the head so many times in the past vids.

[@anitas5817]

Dana’s “clutter threshold “ concept is life changing. Differs for everyone / the amount of stuff each of us can deal with and manage easily. It’s less for me than some people. If I have too much, I just can’t manage anymore.

[@patmulh4245]

I am not sure how anyone would ever say anything negative to you! I am a fan!!! I do get your newsletter and listen to everything you do. I bought both of your books and keep looking for a third??? I got them on Audible and still listen to them in my rotation...they are so awesome and helped me so much. I appreciate your humor and that makes it fun. I am so glad you are making more videos.

[@astrongmama]

The food storage container idea changed my kitchen. I have two refrigerators, and they would both get full. Cleaning the fridges happened twice a year, and it was horrible. I felt like a horrible human All. The. Time. I decluttered my kitchen in July...I think. I've cleaned the fridges twice since then. My house still needs a lot of work, but this has been huge for me.

[@andreaschneider6202]

@Andrea Strong Your comment is encouraging. I have been decluttering since the middle of January...very challenging because I was taught, as a child, to save everything😧 I have shifted my mindset, thankfully, though the decluttering process itself is a work in progress. All the best from another Andrea😊

[@kathystearns9012]

It happened here. Got to working on our kitchen, what you see and what you didn't, and my husband watched and went to his office and did the same thing !!! ❤️

[@cheerfulmouse]

I will say that I store certain storage containers with the lid on and several with them off. I like the system I have set up now. And am willing to change. I actually got rid of a few small glass bowls last week. Cause since I'm doing the dishes every day, I realize we have plenty, and if not, I still have ample other options a this time. I use some lids by themselves, and some containers by themselves. And this is where I'm willing to change over time, and refine my uses, as I go deeper into my clutter issues 💜✝️🕊️🙏

[@lisahale6593]

😂🤣 Dana! I really think it’s okay to say “crapalanche” on your channel. (Cliff sounds pretty awesome!) We are addressing clutter, so yes. 😂 Thank you so much for setting us straight on the Math vs. Meth. I avoid the use of either/both. 🤣 Your videos are the best! 🙌

[@Alisa-us4es]

I am so glad you talked about visible clutter and de cluttering your own things first. I was looking at my husbands stuff and angry at him for not getting rid of things he did not use and was overlooking my own clutter. Once I got started with my things I realized most of the clutter was mine. Thanks so much for your videos.

[@rdnretiredatlast4918]

Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you, Dana! 🤗🙏🏻

[@annettegloeckner1654]

Love all the tips!

[@couponlady7240]

Hi Dana, I've recently started watching your channel and subscribed to you last year and have enjoyed your video series in January with others about dishes and more. I really like how you address questions like this too! It simplifies answering many similar questions. I wanted to share how I'm handling de-cluttering with our 3 sons launching off. I have much to declutter, but we're spread across the nation. So i have a 5 shelf in our basement and I'm in the process of putting 2 labeled totes per shelf. Each son will 3 totes with lids for each of them. The first is ASK. This is for me to take pictures or get on a Face Time call where I just ask them if they value keeping it, want to give it to someone, donate it, or toss it. Sometimes if they are done with it, I'll put it in another son's bin and ask them if they want the item. When a bin of KEEP items is full, I'll box it up, label it, and put it in a zone for him to pick up next time we see them. They "know that we have keep items they value", and I do expect them to take it when they are able to take it. They also know that it's not appropriate to treat "Mom and Dad's home like a storage unit. It feels disrespectful to us. We need to live life now in our home and need the space we're paying for. So that's the first bin, KEEP. The 2nd bin is GIVE. That's for giving to specific individuals or organizations. The 3rd tote is for DONATE. This is one way we keep in touch (for now), but it's also freeing us from "too much", and getting it to those that can use the goods until the item is worn out. So basically it's ASK, GIVE, DONATE. Then I have a trash bag nearby too for broken and not worth passing it along items. Every item literally will someday reach this point, but if we haven't worn it out, then it's nice to give or donate or sell it. I also want to create a SELL Zone. That's stuff that our family is done with, but it still could serve someone else. I need to study more about this before I get into it. I haven't seen all of your videos yet, but want to. I have been watching another channel, and I appreciate her EXAMPLE of to keep on trying to work on herself first. She basically got tired of not functioning well 2 years ago, decided it was worth the effort to try to declutter. She was motivated when she heard of the Konmari Method, but learned through her experience that she needs to go at her own pace in order to manage her own anxiety level. So, sometimes it was a small area (2x2 or 3x3 foot area). She learned some things triggered her anxiety. She's learned to put those things in labeled bins with lids if she wasn't ready to "let go" of some things. She's learned basic rules for herself for what to toss, many ways to give and donate and sell, and it's been a great blessing for the whole family. Slowly she has been getting through one room at a time. It's been over 2 years and she was honored by her oldest son in November when he asked if he could have some of his own decluttering videos! She was touched and immediately said yes! Several videos later his room was looking GREAT! Then her 2nd son (they have 2 sons) asked if they could do his room next! Again, she was honored that he would ask and did her best even though it was Christmas time. She and her husband finished in January after a few videos! She has gotten better at decluttering and more willing as she has been very persistent. She realized that she had not done her oldest son's closet, so 2 videos later ... his closet looks incredible too! She's created "new rules" for herself and her sons, like only his stuff goes into the closet and bedroom. The boys appreciate having their own spaces that are in order so much! Now she's working on her and her husband's bedroom. She's already said that she's learned that it's important to not declutter other people's things without their consent. She has done so well on her journey. Her example has led to the main floor getting better in 2019, maintaining in 2020 but also working on the basement, shed, garage and starting to form healthier habits like "No Spend Challenge" (X # days / month don't spend money - purchases are much more intentional now) and cleaning routines and de-cluttering system. 2021 she wants to finish the basement, maintain her spaces she has done, she's done both of her son's bedroom, also has a basket in their closet for things they're ready to declutter (the boys actually want the baskets), currently working on her own bedroom, working on the Dave Ramsey financial program and putting a lot of things in large macro-zones. Her dream is to have the basement become a well functioning basement the whole family enjoys. She's well on her way! She's gone through some areas 3 times now, and has found that she's been willing to let go of more than she was originally willing to let go of. Her example has encouraged me to be persistent, then things progress! I was REALLY IMPRESSED in January with your Kitchen decluttering video. It really impressed me with how you started with decluttering. It took awhile, but gradually you felt the energy, time and will to focus on your habit of doing the dishes every day. You chose to do that ... and did! After that became a habit you learned that you can trust yourself to be responsible about that! That led to you realizing you had some favorite cups and dishes. That led you to become more willing to let go of what you considered excess! Now you're down to a very minimal amount of plates! It's because you formed a habit and learned to trust yourself with it! Thank you for your example of what can be! Now I'm working on my habits and decluttering as I re-define life with the kids launching. I'm learning that I need to take time for myself to process things inside. Last month I literally realized that I'm done with my wedding dress! I realized that it feels extremely special, even sacred to me, but that it has served its purpose in my life. I won't be wearing it again, even if I lost the extra weight. I wanted to show it to our children. That dream came true. The sacrifice from my parents to provide it was very generous and I'm deeply grateful for that "gift of sacrificing their dreams so that I could have the wedding dress of my dreams". I was hesitant at first to let go of it, but my heart filled with gratitude. I realized that I didn't want to hold on to it for my whole life either. I realized that with one son now engaged, and his fiancee's will to have some of both mother's wedding dress as part of her dress, it's time for the dress to belong to her. I have more than plenty of pictures too. That brings me lots of joy. So, I packed it up last week and will be mailing it this week. It's okay in my heart for her to use it all or "make it her own". I had to grow into that, but I took the time to do so. Now I'm okay. I realize our son's fiancee is the "best future for my wedding dress". Our son loves the idea of it also being used for baby blessing outfits or baptismal outfits. That to me honors my wedding dress. That brings me joy. About launching, I'm realizing that I need to take the time I need for this. I look at "going thru everything" will happen in stages. The first time will be more of "what's easy". The second time will be for things that are more challenging and some more things will become easier to let go of. The third time I de-clutter will be getting to the more challenging items to let go of. Good examples help. Thanks for being among "my good examples of de-cluttering". I also need to re-define my life because right now I'm not sure what to do with my life now. I do realize that one of my life's dreams is now fulfilled, to be a stay-at-home mother. I'm still a wife too. I'm grateful that this dream is still being fulfilled. My relationship with our children is now going to be more as equals, adults and as friends. It's time for them emotionally to let go of me and my husband so that they have room in their hearts for dating, being engaged and married life. We'll always hope to be there for them, but not as a parent that's raising them. They know how to find help from many sources now. They know how to find help from the Godhead. Each of them has a good set of high values, which is a source of joy to us as parents. They're ready for adulthood in many ways. As parents our goal is becoming to "be prepared to help if needed" and "family times". So, now I'm learning to re-define life towards that when it comes to the kids. Thanks for your thoughts on de-cluttering in open general areas first because it leads to "feeling more joy more often". I value having things marcro-organized AND micro-organized and not visual (meaning that one prefers to not have everything on display, but behind a closed door or container). Labels are great. The challenge for me is that it takes time to Macro AND Micro organize everything. Encouragement is a real issue, so I think I'll think a lot more about macro-organization first in visible areas, then micro organization. We recently moved and I realized that I valued unpacking first in a very functional ways. That means luggage was unpacked first because it had the most critical things. Second, whatever it took to keep providing, education, food, enough clothes, laundry system and home cleaning going was next on my list. Third, unpacking one room at a time. Again, thanks for helping me see the importance of de-cluttering, forming healthy routines and habits, and how this journey can become when it comes to "stuff".

[@Havanah2006]

I love ruthlessly cleaning out my plastics drawer every 6mths. I pair everything up and then I go to town on throwing out random lids or containers that have lost their partner or swap out a lid with container (as I try to buy the same ones so that I can mix n match). Or containers that kids have ruined from the microwave or whatever

[@marym346]

We use food storage containers for dry food storage too. Taco shells, candy, popcorn, and more. All stuff that can be stored for a longer term. I will say that while I have a large amount of them, they are VERY well organized.

[@GratefulDeb270]

Ty! Your book saved my sanity! The “Decluttering at the Speed of Life” is so wonderful! Bless you!

[@mariadiebert892]

Thank you so much, I did start with my clutter. I'm hoping that my actions will encourage or inspire my husband. I have already donated or given away so much and it's just the beginning. I'm in it for the long haul. 😊

[@grutarg2938]

Today my partner asked for my help in decluttering clothes! I sat on the bed and folded the donations. She tried some on that didn’t fit anymore. After 30 minutes she was starting to get overwhelmed. So I told her that with Dana’s steps you can stop anytime and I told her to look at her closet and see how much better it was.

[@anga3659]

Thank you Dana for another wonderful video. I also signed up for the news letter. Watching your videos and reading the comments from other fellow slobs has been encouraging. It's nice to know that I am not alone and that there are many of us. 😁. The way you are able to present information in your videos and books has made so much sense to me. God Bless you and your honesty. I mean this as a sincere compliment.... Thank you for continuing to "Remember" the beginning of your journey as well. Now that you have mastered decluttering you are still able to totally relate to someone like me who is in their infancy of the deslobification process. You understand the struggles as well as the successes and the small setbacks. You really understand that every baby step is a big step. Some people who overcome, forget where they came from and the struggles that lead to their success. I firmly believe that God has anointed you to help and you have a true gift. I love the "Don't pull stuff out to declutter." This has had the biggest impact on me. I don't gut-out a room and then try to put it back and wind up tiered and defeated with a bigger mess. I look at one area at a time. " Okay.. Today is the kitchen table." I have to admit it's been at least a year since I have seen my whole kitchen table. That is progress! Thanks again for sharing your gift. 🙏

[@suzy1676]

I'm SO glad to see you on KZbin! I'm hearing your words of wisdom in my head as I work in tiny increments to declutter! Do the dishes! And no mess are best! Loving ❤ your first book!

[@4my4blessings]

Food storage can ALSO be used instead of freezer bags for dividing meats bought in bulk at places like Costco. Find a "set" of nestable containers with lids and REUSE them. I use the UK style takeaway containers and have saved my budget (not buying bags all the time) AND the environment. Just find a storage solution like a bin or basket to keep MATCHED NESTING SETS rather than all the latest "thang" Tupperware has on offer and use what you have to store responsibly. The biggest priblem (ex-Tupperware dealer here) is that nothing fits everything else. The containers I now have come in three depths, but ALL LIDS FIT ALL CONTAINERS - no more rummaging. And they cost like £2 for a set of 5, so if one breaks or gets lost, no probs, I just go buy some more at the shop when I need it. In the US/Canada the equivelent would be the rubbermaid squares, just buy a bunch of shallow, a bunch of mediums a couple of deeps and all the lids will match all the containers. Don't buy the sets with the smaller diameters... Just the basic sandwich size diameter and then store them stacked (shallowest on bottom to deepest on top to take up minimum space, and put the lids together in a small basket and use THOSE in your fridge, freezer, and cupboards as needed. And STOP USING FREEZER BAGS AND CLING FILM! Love your videos.

[@jenniferbaillie5976]

I needed this one. I have been sneaking out clutter and when I get caught, I am stuck holding on to items we have not used for 25 years. And now that he days keep it, I can't get rid of it. So I need to deal with my own issues first, but I get too excited. I also find that when decluttering unseen areas first, I can function better. I started with my clothes and shoes. But decluttering seen areas and keeping them clean does help other too. If someone says, "Why are you doing X, I think you should be working on Y", I put that item on the top of my list. Then they see I have done what they wanted and it makes them happier. I have also been talking to my kids about my plans for the house and they have been talking about their rooms, so I will work on what they want to see in their rooms so they are more inspired. If my kids want me to take them out, they know I will say yes as long as I have a bag or box for donations. They will actually bring me stuff to donate if I don't have one ready myself.

[@leahrowe847]

Try putting items in "quarantine" box instead of getting rid of them. Then if the items aren't taken outta the sealed box w/in a certain time, donate or trash that box. Nobody will miss it. Just be sure to make rules for items in the box b4 starting (i.e. items cannot be removed if another item can do the same job, you the same item, ect. ) as some hoarders will sabotage the process in order to "save" them from donation.

[@heathersmeather]

For more than 20 years when I use the words “crap-tacular” and “crap-tastic”, and get a laugh, I always credit my sister, Angie. These words just convey the perfect message sometimes. Not sure where she heard them but knowing her she discovered them on her own. 😆 Edit: perfect words for Mondays and bad days in general.

[@jw5120]

Lol. I grew up saying craptastic. However the other one is new me.

[@findingaway5512]

Keep up the videos Dana I love seeing and hearing from you.

[@neverstoplearning2]

This is so encouraging! I was hoping that this very thing will happen. Glad to hear it has happened to others.

[@sarahteren1590]

I tried it with the containers and I love it! It is amazing.

[@goofygirl1311]

Great video! I totally agree with the wisdom that you have to start with your stuff and neutral stuff first. I've been decluttering off and on first the past year and it has really made a difference in our house. My husband and kids were sort of slow to get on board but, they too, finally got rid of some things. I've taken 3 loads of their stuff to the donation center in just the past week. They've filled up 2 garbage bins with old stuff and we even scheduled a bulk trash pick up to take away some old worn out furniture. It's crazy how much stuff was in this house that went straight to the dump! We've still got more to do but the first pass has been made throughout our house and what a difference it has made!

[@erin.wilson]

Wise words Dana, thank you for making this video ❤️👍

[@katythriftyunder35homeowne57]

Your podcast is my lifeline- I appreciate you. I like your new episodes and your pre-202p episodes too. Moved into my 1st house a year ago & finally starting to get a handle on the 'stuff' in this house. Its a huge relief to get rid of things. And to not feel that guilt about the fact that I don't hang holiday wreaths from every surface. Also you're super pretty & you have such a great outlook on things.

[@wendysmith8615]

It is the best idea! Food storage containers are great! When you run out ... time to eat leftovers!

[@orphansparrow2]

My partner has HIGH emotional attachment to...almost every object he's ever owned. Because I am easily overwhelmed by things, I have had to get rid of more stuff of mine than I normally would have because there is no way he'll get rid of any of his. I know that I can't force him to get rid of his stuff, so I no longer try. It makes him too sad. The result of this is that about 2% of our household items are "mine", the rest is his, from his life before me. The house is therefore not my style, it is all his. We have talked about this and he feels bad, and has tried some. But the result is still what it is. The main victory for me is that I feel much better about my closet/wardrobe. For everything else, I'm not sure how to strike a balance. I'm just trying to let go.

[@alissasmith713]

I also am in this boat. But almost a panic fear and fight comes out when he has think of cleaning or parting with things. He might need it some day🙄. His mom is this way too. Not sure we can fix this. I can see he is overwhelmed but no way to help.

[@StarrREVA]

I signed up for the newsletter. So excited for it. I enjoy your videos. I have shared many of your strategies (I even implement some in my own life).

[@PatfromJamul]

This video was posted at the perfect time for our household! Amazing to me that trying to declutter would cause disagreements between spouses. But I will now try your approach and see if that will work better. Hopefully it will for our house's betterment.

[@kathylee2927]

I stored my food contains as you suggested and it works perfectly.

[@FaithandBibleAsmr]

I really like the plaque in back of you😊🥰

[@PatfromJamul]

I noticed this plaque, too. I had trouble reading it, but when I did I was thrilled with the sentiment! Such a fabulous saying! Inspiring and encouraging to me.

[@Homelifelearning]

The food storage with lids totally works. I have a very small kitchen. We are a family of 4. I only store mine with lids on and like the do your washing up method, I now see that I can get rid of even more of the storage as I just don't use as much as I thought I would need.

[@briashubert2489]

I laugh so hard when you make a mistake saying something & you’re like we’re just gonna roll with it! 😂❤️ so relatable! Love thee idea of storing the lids with the container! Yes, it does take up more room BUT you can see EVERYTHING you have & realize, hey, it’s ENOUGH! Laughed so hard when you said people say to me, but now I can’t fit everything... & you say, well, that’s kind of the point 🤣 genius! Also love when you say to just take stuff where it goes right away & you say to put it where u would look for it. Great advice!

[@janeangelo6502]

No questions but I had to tell you I actually got a fit of giggles over you explaining that you DON’T declutter using mEth, it’s MAAAATH So great. Thanks for the laugh.

[@mariaewerth670]

Love your video!! I am starting to declutter my house. You are right you need to get rid of your own stuff for your spouse/significant other to jump on board with you. My husband would say “we need to get rid of this stuff” and start with my things. Now, when he sees how many things I donated and trashed!!! He is with me now. I started with my clothes, linen closets and the basement will be next. So happy I found you, the minimal mom and Marie Kongo.

[@adelevercueil9172]

Hi Dana! So happy I found your channel.. thanks for another wonderful video. And keeping minimalism and decluttering real. Storage of food containers with their lids on is so much better! And your "math/ meth" comment were so funny 😆..

[@LilCraftyNook]

Spot on!! My brother told me that very thing once because I was so upset over my then boyfriend “nagging” me about MY stuff. Now he’s my husband and I understand. He’s getting there...😜

[@charlottestewart4595]

Spot on! Thanks for sharing your insight.

[@fwebster6226]

Food storage container idea is brilliant!

[@carolinaarrington28]

You crack me up! So cute! And soooooo helpful!