When Friends & Family Shame Your Tattoos! Tattoo Talk Tuesday.

[@monxbee]

My favourite line from my parents is, "But what if you meet a guy who doesn't like tattoos?" ....What? How would I even end up liking someone who doesn't like tattoos - we would never talk in the first place. Or, "But you will be able to see them when you wear a wedding dress!" ... so? I'm 25 and still get this. It doesn't end. I just take the hit, then shake it off and change the subject or walk away.

[@sarahconnor4984]

I get that too. Like, are you really telling me, in my face, that I am made to please guy's taste?? On my face, patriarchy police???

[@PaulinaHesselius]

Even if the guy doesn't like tattoos he will like you. Which is the important thing. I'm tattooed, my boyfriend is not and doesn't think about getting any tattoo very soon. But he likes me and that is what counts in a relationship!

[@katherineclaxton2398]

I recently became engaged... and I have an entire back piece... gasp! I'm actually enjoying looking at wedding dresses that show off most of my tattoo and will wear it proudly as part of my wedding outfit. If the guests don't like my skin then they don't need to be there. My mom keeps suggesting high collared dresses... and I just keep shaking my head.

[@LinnySays]

My mum said to me, "but what if you get a job that shows off your sexy legs?" I was like my legs are still sexy as hell with tattoos?

[@sarahconnor4984]

Jk1 In my experience it's not easy dating someone who doesn't like tattoos being tattooed yourself. Not only they will appreciate better other people who are less "edgy" but they won't support your plans about future tattoos and you won't be able to share with them that part of you. Well this aplies if you are a collector or if you are into tattoo culture and stuff.

[@Jackster17214]

When I got my septum pierced my dad flat out said “I don’t like it. You’d be prettier without it” and I let it go the first few times but eventually just said “well I think I look better with it and I didn’t do it for the approval of middle aged men” and he hasn’t commented on it since lol

[@keithcostello1388]

zinger

[@willlexie]

You are beautiful with or without pierce. Having a pierce doesn't automatically makes you look ugly

[@cuppiecakess]

It warms my heart, this comment. HAVING A PIERCE IS BEAUTIFUL. @@willlexie

[@Sassysonia1234]

I LOVE your response.

[@heyitsme881]

Imagine bragging about disrespecting the man who raised you

[@irisdegroot25]

I've experienced comments like: "isn't that enough?" "Okay, enough tattoos, people get the point" like you said. As if we get tattoos to prove a point to others...

[@emthegem9866]

I wonder what point they think we're trying to prove

[@themightyvomit8065]

Funny thing is that someone who tattooed me told me that I shouldn’t get more and that it would be enough. The irony

[@Itsraejean]

I just got a tattoo of paw prints and my kittys name on my forearm, my friend looks at it and goes "did you really? you know that cat wont be here forever right?" I just looked at him and was like "no she wont, but now she'll always be with me"

[@Aeroflaire]

I'm, hands down getting my pets' paw prints. Exactly right, they won't be here forever, I love my animals and I know I'll want to remember them.

[@samanthanewlin5437]

I have my kitty's pawprints on my calf. He passed away several years ago. It is my favorite tattoo and I get tons of positive comments on it!

[@sierraeakins3776]

This is actually the perfect video for me today because this was just happening to me. I'm getting my first tattoo in four days (woooo!!!) and some family members were definitely voicing their opinions about piercings I currently have and tattoos I plan to get and it was really hurting me. So thank you for this! 💖

[@laurap.3976]

I'm sorry that happened to you. It's definitely happened to me, and it does hurt. Something I had to come to terms with is that there are people who won't like what you do to your body, and of those people, there will be a subset that will care more about voicing THEIR opinion out loud than whether or not it hurts YOUR feelings. And those people aren't worth the effort sometimes. Good luck on your first tattoo. I'm sure it will be beautiful, and you'll feel like it was always meant to be there. ❤️

[@sierraeakins3776]

+Laura P. Thank you so much!! I just hope people realize that their opinions hurt others when not voiced in the right way. Especially those who say it to purposely try and tear others down down.

[@laurap.3976]

+Sierra Eakins Unfortunately, a lot of people like that won't care. They'll just say you're "too sensitive," but that's not the truth. You can, however, sometimes wake someone up by saying, "Hey, that's rude, and I don't have to listen to it. Call me when you decide to treat me with some respect."

[@summerjayne9030]

Do what makes you happy!

[@shainahinton2681]

Sierra Eakins I posted a couple statuses about my tattoo before I got it and then a few hours I got it yesterday I sent a picture to everyone but my grandma. their responses were "looks expensive!" And "ouch". haha I don't know why I was worried

[@Psychara]

I'm new, and when you talked about your pet 'Ethan' in the intro, I first thought you were talking about a human and it was very odd.

[@jasmina4223]

Ethan is a very cute name for a cat.

[@Helena-qq7td]

i thought she was talking about the plant next to her.. dk why..

[@millymaus9915]

Psychara0x i thought she was talking about the plant next to her hahahahah

[@YCLPM_Art]

Psychara ikr

[@j3n14]

I love my tattoos but then sometimes other people make me feel insecure about them and make me regret it. I'm always fine until someone puts me down. Do you ever feel this way?

[@loliada]

I know how you feel, people say nasty stuff about mine too, it's hard to love something when people are constantly putting them down, but they're your art and you should be proud of that ❤️

[@noellieraviollie748]

I'm feeling this way right now about my stretched ears and my tattoos, I'm 17 and when older people tell me I'm going to regret it and that its ugly and ruining my body I feel so defeated. Like I've made a huge mistake. When in reality, I love my ears and my tattoos so much and I feel like they make me who I am. The only times I feel bad about that is when people put me down for it

[@willlexie]

Not anymore. I learned to be bulletproof.

[@nuriathorhewett4830]

thats so wrong people r dumb its ur body ur rules if i ever c someone getting bulied i stand up for them i always got badly bullied because of my autism its super wrong and remember those who mind dont matter those whomatter dont mind

[@mongojoe21]

I always feel a little empowered when people talk shit. #smokemethandworshipsatan

[@OoNeverShoutRacheloO]

"don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for doing something that makes you feel good" I love it 💛

[@katesansom3841]

“My body my rules” is so powerful and inspiring. Thank you 🙏🏻

[@heeatherx3]

Ive stopped talking to my best friend about tattoos once she said "Youre tattoos are cool but I'll only get classy tattoos". 😒

[@laurap.3976]

Girl, that ain't a best friend. 😳 Not. Cool. I bet your tattoos are awesome.

[@patricklukcy13]

what is a classy tattoo?

[@heeatherx3]

+patricklukcy13 According to her, "little ones on the inner wrist". Whatever.

[@patricklukcy13]

+Heather Talik lol lame. just do you. I just got a full wrist band. I love it and nobody else needs to.

[@laurap.3976]

+Heather Talik Oh thank God! I'm classy then. ...Just have to get all the massive "unclassy" ones removed from my arms, chest, feet, and back. 🙄😂 Ignore her.

[@teaganboyle1473]

Am I the only one who thinks the piercing scar on her upper lip is actually really pretty. I always feel like people try so hard to hide them but they can look really cool.

[@MXcripple]

It reminds me of the Marilyn Monroe thing.

[@teaganboyle1473]

+MXcripple yah it kind of does

[@maddiemusic123]

it's adorable! I love it!

[@callmeadoll]

I've always loved it. I think piercing holes are prettier than the jewlery

[@callmeadoll]

+MXcripple I have always wanted some sort of lip peircing, but I have a Monroe beauty mark naturally, so I kinda gave up. if I didn't have it tho, I would maybe not get a Monroe peircing, but maybe what she has (can't remember the name, I'm half asleep)

[@AkiAlchemicae]

My Dad always told me I'll be disinherited as soon as I get tattooed. I completely broke all ties with him almost two years ago and now I'm at a point where I can think "fuck him, i'm my own person" but it definitly took a long while to get there.

[@quirkyblackenby]

Wow

[@katherinerade]

I cannot understand people for doing this to their own family. I have the same person in my family and I feel like it is soooo stupid to stop talking to someone so close just because of their body modification :/

[@enjavenja]

I don't think it's about the modifications. It's about her father not letting her be the person she wants to be and not accepting her even though she's an adult. I've been in the same situation and I can honestly say that it hurts so much to feel like you're less worthy in their eyes to be treated as an equal

[@MissVanilla14a2]

Aki Alchemicae In the same situation. Definitely still in the process of being angry and creating a life for myself where I can cut him off. (Praise the day)

[@yolandaclay5086]

Aki Alchemicae So sorry that you have to deal with that. It shouldn't even be that big of an issue.

[@dramaticteaspoon]

Oh yeah! "You're going to be a tattooed old woman" ... I think "good". Who wants to be another docile, sweet old nanna? Express yourself! Why has that always considered dangerous?

[@rosannahygren8241]

I wanna be a cool old lady with LOTS of tattoos, stretched ears and piercings, that's my goal honestly!!

[@TuxedoMasc]

Ugh. Relatable. My granmother always says, " You know that's not going to look like that when you're older." One, I might not even live that long. Two, the rest of my body will ALSO look old. Colored or not. I've never understood this, Jesus Christ just let it go woman.

[@beccamason3712]

I couldn’t give a 💩 about what people think when I’m old! If I do live that long, I hope they think I had an interesting life! We can’t worry about tattoos in our 80s, there’s enough to worry about as it is

[@sararedbride9728]

When we're old so many people will have tattoos that the young will want to do something else more extreme cause maybe they'll associate tattoos with old people

[@amandacribbs301]

Ugh totally have experience with this. My bosses mother(bless her heart) recently asked me why I would "ruin" my body with tattoos? I was almost speechless and cried about it later. She had absolutely no right to come at me so negatively when I do no harm to her or her family when she obviously has flaws that I never come at her about(speaking without thinking being one of them). You give me so much courage to just be who I am Qcknd. Love you and your channel!! And your adorable piggy buns!! 💗❤️💗❤️💗❤️

[@sarahconnor4984]

Well they ruin their bodies with that awful personality but nobody says anything... Ugh.

[@CaptainRakeHands]

+ばけねこ化け猫 that is such an excellent comeback

[@zsp7810]

'Bless her heart' once i read this is the southern way of saying 'fck you :D

[@tattoolover5753]

I love it when my stepdad says ”you know they will be there forever right?” like omg I had no idea 😱

[@13XxHabsFanxX21]

Wait... they will?!?!?! Shit I'm screwed 😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@RonnaaFoogle]

I feel this so much! Someone I'm really close to isn't overly keen on me getting tattooed and she once had the audacity to suggest that they're linked to my previous self harming. Like, how dare you give something that I love, and that is on my body forever, such negative connotations? There are tattoos I want in order to get rid of the memories of self harming, to try to move away from that period in my life. If anything it's helping me, so why is that a problem? And the thing is, she was planning to get one too! Double standards!? Also, #1 most irritating question "Did it hurt?" Yes it bloody hurt, I had a needle dragged across my skin for two hours, what did you think it was going to feel like???

[@Tweegrrl]

My mom was like, "whatever, you're the one who has to walk around like that". My dad went silent, so I told him "you might as well talk to me again now, because never talking to me again won't make them go away." And that was it. Half an hour of silent treatment later and it was a non-issue family-wise.

[@ElliotJatomiSan]

Oh god thank you so much for talking about this. My parents absolutely hate tattoos, to the point that I hid them for over a year due to the fear being disowned. They still bring it up at family dinners, put me down for it, etc. It blows. But hey, it prepares you for any other negative opinions people might have! Yo body, yo choice.

[@MiauxCatterie]

i loved this video, first of all. but i loved it mostly for the things that you said that weren't directly related to the title. i mean, tangentially they were and in theme they were. but your dialogue about holding part of yourself for yourself, and being true to yourself around others but not necessarily expressing parts of you that they will pick apart. i've long struggled with trying to.. i guess.. learn who i really was, after years of just pandering to what i thought would make people accept me (i had a shitty bullying childhood). so learning to strengthen my mind, learning who i was, learning that i could be who i was around others and see if they liked it or not, instead of being what i think they will find acceptable, it's a long road. and the insight you bring in this conversation really helped me think of it in a new way and i appreciate it. you're pretty neat, qcknd, and i'm glad i stumbled onto your channel one day a few months back.

[@xbritty_]

I feel the exact same way as you when it comes the my relationship with my parents. My mom cried and ignored me for 3 days when I finally told my parents I got a tattoo. Im working in finishing my sleeve now. They don't like my tattoos, but it doesn't necessarily affect us anymore. I try to cover them when I visit just because I hate having my mom look at me funny. I live in Utah, so obviously tattoos aren't received positively. I typically get 2 reactions; compliments or staring and dirty looks. It used to make me uncomfortable, but now it doesn't bother me. I love my tattoos and I'm proud of them. I think you eventually become numb to the negative reactions.

[@teaganboyle1473]

Yah it sucks that people care so much about what others do with their body. I have bright purple hair and live in a northern suburb of Chicago that is almost all preppy white people. It is shocking how many people think it is okay to randomly lecture me on how it is bad for my hair, like bitch I know. I am the one who has to use 15 different conditioners.

[@alastairhutton6156]

Wow that's sucks Should move here to Australia where sleeves are mainstream and accepted

[@xbritty_]

+Alastair Hutton I WOULD LOVE TO 😱

[@madisonmcconnell1092]

Brittney Anne my mom reacted the exact same way to my tattoo. I just hide it when I'm around her. It sucks.

[@gabbraule6114]

my grandpa's wife actually asked me why I never get nice beautiful tattoos. that confused me because I think my tattoos are beautiful and I do not regret any of them. She said I only get weird ugly tattoos and I should get a butterfly or an infinity sign. thing is, I hate butterfly drawings/printings, and I do not like those popular tattoos. I would never get any tattoo that is "in" now, just because I feel like in a couple years they will look ratchet and I wouldn't like them anymore, just because I got them for the trend.

[@teaganboyle1473]

I agree, I don't see why people are always getting the same tattoos. I think it is more important to have tattoos that are unique to you and not just in style.

[@SixtySecondYoga]

Yes I always think it's so lame when people want the tattoos everyone has! It reminds me of when all the scene girls on MySpace had cupcake tattoos lol! They'll be getting that infinity sign removed in a couple of years when it's no longer the new thing.

[@patricklukcy13]

I have a semi colon tattoo but I really connect with its message. of course the design I chose I've not seen before so it's unique to my knowledge.

[@juliaehlert8127]

Tell her to get it if she's so keen. Offer to even go with her c;

[@e.m8857]

patricklukcy13 I've thought about the semi-colon. When was your surgery?

[@jazzyroly]

This is an interesting topic. I liked hearing about your experiences on it. My Mom cried for hours when I got my first tattoo. On one hand it sucks to disappoint my parents, but I'd rather embrace the expression having tattoos gives me

[@Thornton019hockey]

Just want to say that I love this video! I'm 17 and I'd really like to have tattoos when I'm older but my parents don't support that at all, so I don't tell them anything about my plans for getting any. My mom isn't happy with tattoos, but my dad when he can tries to make me promise to never get tattoos. And it kind of hurts that they say that they'll support me with anything in life (except not going to college) but then go and say that they hope they never see tattoos on my body or get a septum piercing or stretch my ears, or something "wild" like that. So this helped me kind of relax about it all. Thank you so much!!

[@imnotreallyshure2609]

Girl you want to know what my dad said when I got m second tattoo? He said, "the more tattoos you get, the less men are going to want to marry you." Hahahaha still laugh my ass off about that one and it's been over a year

[@TheGabit]

are you married?

[@jewelb023]

I love what you say about keeping a part of yourself safe, sacred.

[@bry7487]

I'm glad this came about because I'm experiencing this with my mom. While I don't have tattoos (yet) but I am stretching my earlobes and just the other day, I was excited about some new plugs and she was saying the normal "you ruined your ears, you're going to regret that, you're only 19, you don't know everything". It's difficult to deal with your only parent criticising you on a daily basis.

[@smithaf0601]

My parents arent mean about me stretching my ears, but every time i see them they ask them about them in an obnoxious way. The only reason they are remotely ok with it is because my goal size is only 2g. I swear, next time they ask i might flip, like, the size hasnt changes in 6 months, theres no reason to be all weird about it.

[@bry7487]

+Angela Smith It's tough to deal with any kind of unacceptance from friends and family. Hopefully they can learn to leave you alone. Your body, your rules.

[@KoasterKai]

I'm the same age as you and my mother constantly tells me tattoos and piercings are "demonic" but I just shrug it off and I am going to continue getting them. I'm at a 6 g and she still thinks my stretched ears are fake , mainly because they aren't a 0g yet.

[@ToxicNeon]

Bry I’ve been having similar experiences with my mom about stretching my ears - she likes to scream her opinion of it at me. I really hate it when parents pull the “you don’t know everything” card - well neither do they. Obviously they’ve never stretched their ears, and ya know what? They never lived as a young person in this day and age. In some ways we have more experience than then in some aspects. And vice versa. So that card they pull? Hogwash and bullcrap. They don’t know everything either, and just ‘cause they’ve lived longer doesn’t necessarily mean they know “better” than you.

[@anony7112]

Thank you very much for this vid. My mom (and the rest of my family) have never been into piercings, tattoos, crazy hair colors and so on. I personally never really cared about what people say or think about those things but I do know that a lot of people do take it very personally, my best friend just took out all of her piercings and is still hiding her tattoos because she's too scared of what people think of it. So thank you for encouraging people to look whatever way they want to.

[@roire]

You articulated everything so well in this video, thank you for this! It really gave me some courage! I'm 32 and STILL freaking out about how my parents would react to my next tattoo which I'm getting soon. I already have a few small ones (flowers, script, nth obscene) and they obviously hate it. It really annoys me when my mom would see a tattooed person and then openly diss them next to me to make a point, like, "Look at that women, she looks so disgusting and cheap with her ugly tattoos" just to make me feel bad. It's such a terrible thing to do and I wish she'd just stop.

[@samlynn1992]

I love your videos, I don't know how I missed this one because it's so relatable! My family isn't really into tattoos either.... my parents always like mine once I get them but even after saying they like it they always say "that's the last one, right?" or something along those lines. I used to say yes just to appease them but I've realized that's not helpful and only makes me feel self conscious. I love my tattoos, and I won't be ashamed about them or put off getting something because of others opinions. I'm really close with my parents and they've gotten more understanding over the years..... for example (like you) I had a lot of piercings and most of them I don't have anymore. My parents were always really negative about it, but once I took my Monroe out (it was my first facial piercing) because it was irritating me, my dad actually stated that he missed seeing it on me because it suited me and who I am. Another comment that to this day still gets to me is a comment my nana made about my first tattoo. I am a recovering anorexic, and my very first tattoo is a line from an Elizabeth Kubler Ross quote "Beautiful people do not just happen" done in my own handwriting with the NEDA symbol after it. To this day it's still the most meaningful and important tattoo I have. My nana commented that it was stupid "thinspiration" and I would regret it, without even considering that my ED was not a weight related thing OR even asking me where the quote came from. It is a beautiful quote (look it up, you won't regret it!!!), and it's almost always misinterpreted. I'm a hairstylist and a lot of my clients assume that it has something to do with my profession..... this used to REALLY bother me...... I don't want to delve into my story with everyone, but it used to hurt that people saw it as such a "shallow" thing, and didn't try to understand the meaning behind it. It sounds kind of silly now, and I try not to let people's comments get to me anymore because I know honestly that they are a part of me and my personality and as much as some people may not personally like body mods, or they may not understand them, they are something that my friends and family associate with ME and they tell MY story. All of my tattoos mean something to me and I wouldn't change them for the world.

[@littlepidgey6062]

Sam Lynn the way I understand from your context is that you have to go through the shit to come out the other side, stronger, more understanding and more caring than before ❤️ I like it

[@_de_reve]

was watching this because of my parents too and read your comment and looked the quote up and i must say it really IS beautiful! thank you for sharing your story

[@roichemendelsohn2501]

Thank you for this video! My family is pretty strict and conservative, but I've always wanted to dye my hair. So awhile ago I did. I dyed it blue, but I haven't seen my family in a long time because I'm in college. We went to dinner a couple nights ago and the entire time, they were making jokes and rude comments about my hair. It was horrible and I wasn't sure what to do, other than ignore them... now I have some ideas. I'm also planning on getting a few tattoos. They don't like that idea either... They'll get over it.

[@itsbrittpatt]

my mom is notorious for saying "I think that's enough tattoos" to me. once the rest of my family realized I wasn't gonna stop getting them, they stopped bugging me about it.

[@leeaskewed]

you are like... my tattoo role model... ive never got one but the more i watch your videos the more i feel like i am able and willing to get one i will feel totally happy with. your content and stories make me less anxious about getting a tattoo in the future. So, thanks!

[@PRINCESSVADER]

I was 37 when I got my first tattoo. My husband decided he hated it. He also decided he hated my best friend, because he said she talked me into it. (she has many tattoos) It didn't matter that I'd been wanting to get tattooed since I was 13 or that I asked her to go with me. It was her fault and also the fault of the tattoo artist. I got a second and third tattoo maybe five months after the first. It was as if the world had ended. I'm 41 now, and I so want to get more tattoos, but I don't want to deal with his childish behavior. It's funny too, I have green hair, and he'll argue with anyone that it's my hair, I can do what I want.

[@keithcostello1388]

Update? Did you get the tats?

[@sarasthoughts]

Baby. Divorce.

[@beccamason3712]

Get rid

[@halesw9513]

I loved everything you had to say! I protect myself from certain people I'm forced to interact with. Makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one! Thank you for sharing💕

[@transarchivist]

I really support everything you said here! Your body, your rules. My body, my rules. Very empowering stuff. Please don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise.

[@saltywtrmln]

You are honestly such an inspirational personality. Watching your videos always puts me in a productive, happy mood.

[@Perdita8888]

This is just what i needed. i get a lot of flak from my dad about my mods ( 5 tattoos, 4 piercings) Its nice to see someone as confident and adorable as you putting up videos like this.

[@ileaween]

I've learned that most people who criticize or are afraid of feminism don't even know what it really means.

[@sarahconnor4984]

Some of them know really well, but they don't want to let their privilege go.

[@georgiamatthews2904]

that was well said ^

[@LinnySays]

Omg exactly this.

[@carolineizod7256]

or theyre intimidated. but to be fair to them there are loads of extreme feminists right now that wont even let men say they are beautiful.. thats just a bit petty and over the top. but i dont think they are real feminists anyway, theyre just man haters haha

[@affinity3281]

Afraid? I think you mean disgusted. They are disgusted because they KNOW what it means.

[@pseudonymh]

I love what you said about holding back from people who are not able to have a serious conversation about something that affects them. This whole video is such a great message. I am just now starting to let myself do what I want with my life and my body and it's scary thinking about how others in my life will feel about these things, but you've helped! Thank you :)

[@MySummer97]

I want to get tattooed and I've warned my parents already that it's going to happen. They weren't cool with it but now that they have gotten used to the idea they accept it. Hiding it is fine if you have to but I recommend just honestly talking about your feelings and thoughts.

[@annaf7207]

yeah that worked for me too :). My parents don't like tattoos, but I've gotten to accept that when I turn 18 I'm definitely going to get a tattoo and they won't have any say in it

[@annalane7609]

Weren´t they disappointed? My mom was and it was the worst :( I don´t know how to deal with it, any help?

[@emthegem9866]

@@annalane7609 I'm a little late but better late than never. Yeah it sucks that your parents are disappointed but try your best not to let that get in the way of the good feelings that tattoo gave you because even if they're disappointed Val if they really love you it's not going to last forever unlike your tattoo so just do your best I don't even know if thishelped but I tried

[@jackystar5099]

I haven't told my dad because he's very stubborn with his idea that criminals have tattoos. I do continously mention it to my mom though. She doesn't like it but I told her eventually I'd get tattoos but I wanted her approval. I told her I wantes her to go with me for my first tattoo as well. Just had an honest conversation with her and she understands. She just hopes they aren't visible or big.

[@KittyMelon3]

this was so helpful to watch! i have had many problems with my parents about my tattoos and my choices in regards to my appearance, and have always felt frustrated and sad that i couldn't share this part of my life and my passion with them. but you saying that if they come at you in a harmful way, then they lose the right to have that conversation with you really just struck home, and i wanted to thank you so much for helping me understand how to deal with my parents a little better

[@meganrigsby4037]

Thank you so much for this video! It was so validating after coming home from visiting family members that kept asking me about my second tattoo on my arm. I've accepted having to protect myself too recently, whether it's through covering my tattoos when I don't feel like being questioned or my dialogue. Love this series and you!

[@atidalmind680]

Love this topic! I feel like it's similar to when people go "WOW how tall are you??" or "WOW you're really pale" or "Your makeup looks...interesting. Blue eyeshadow??" Unless you have an actual compliment or a legitimate question, you don't need to let a person know that you've noticed their body just for the purpose of noticing it. We all know what we look like, thank you, move along.

[@sarahconnor4984]

And then get mad because "hey, it's my opinion, you are being OFFENSIVE TO ME if you don't let me critizice you". Like, what...?

[@atidalmind680]

yes exactly!

[@SarcasticQuokka]

I'm young adult whom has admired alternative looks with hair, piercings and tattoos throughout my teenage years. I dyed my hair partly a year ago but I had to cover it with black for a new job they also didn't allow piercings (except one lobe) and if you wanted a tattoo it had to be approved almost. Through working at this place for over a year it really gave me time to think about how much I really want to have piercings, tattoos and coloured hair. The weekend after I quit I got my nose pierced, boy that was a good feeling. Your channel is really encouraging for someone a "few years behind" so to speak. I really like your style of videos and your personal appearance style. The videos are a good balance of previous experience, facts and personal opinion which make it interesting and fun to watch. Thank you for the time and effort you put into your videos, it really does pay off.

[@irismuddyhehe]

I think its awesome that you're representing that idea of the soul inside yourself that lives the way you want and the way you're inspired to and doesn't need the approval of others because it's for you. Too many people these days take the advice and opinions of their surroundings super personally and like, don't draw their own bottom line on their tastes and actions. So I think your view is a really healthy one and Im glad your subcribers can have that positive influence in their life of someone telling them to be themselves and get by with social stuff like friends and parents without it hurting too much, by being ok with your tastes being different than other peoples'. The "ok cool thank you thanks" and smile, as an answer, like you said you give your parents when they say you have 'enough' tattoos, is probably the best strategy for tons of life choices. It's a better way than being offended or hurt by that person, since we all have different points of view.

[@InTheOpines]

Excellent segment, I love everything about it! The scenery is magical, your cat is the handsomest, your look is rockin, this topic is super important, your 2cents and delivery is next level, and there's just so much character and wisdom here! You have an absolutely great philosophy on giving a controlled response to the judgement of others and protecting some part of you, closing it off, because it is not for them anyway.

[@effy2848]

well said! this is definitely a topic that was on my mind... (at my age & afraid to tell family about body mods, they can't see, because of the negativity I've gotten from the ones they can see & ridicule me for) you are 100% right & thank you for saying what you did about revoking their privilege of talking if they are not supportive! I needed to hear that, it gives me courage to tackle these issues when they next arise.

[@Saisons1234]

Not a tattoo story but it is similar. My younger sister got her septum pierced. From family and friends she mainly got negative comments ("you look like a cow now" etc). They are of course entitled to their own opinions, but it is not great when they repeat said opinions day in and day out (goes from having an opinion to bullying then). To deal with this, whenever they would make a comment I would say to her that I really liked it and that I thought it suited her. It is important to not hesitate to deal with bullying, especially if the bullying is coming from within the family.

[@shainahinton2681]

Leo that sounds like something my grandma would say. I had green hair for like 6 months and when she saw it she said "you look like a witch". she didn't nessecarily mean to insult me but that's just the way her mind works. I learned to brush it off because I know that our relationship is more than just words. I hope you feel the same

[@ToxicNeon]

Leo my cousins told me I’ll look like a cow when I get my septum pierced! I always say “thank you! Cows are adorable!” And it threw them off. I prefer to turn insults around on the bully and make them feel thwarted.

[@dianachen1512]

Shaina Hinton I would probably reply “oh yay, now I look just like you!”

[@KathleenAdair]

My grandparent are alway so negative and degrading towards my tattoos and it does really hurt because they make me so happy and it is disheartening to have family be so against something that makes you happy. I needed this video.

[@paintedcarnival1235]

This is my absolute favorite video that you’ve done! This is my third time watching it, because it’s such a pep talk and it’s so amazing. I’m getting my first big tattoo soon and I’ve had some backlash from my family and this just makes me feel so amazing. I’m so excited about my tattoo

[@katherineclaxton2398]

I love what you say about having a soul inside to protect! Tattoos are such a personal choice, personal stories, experiences, etc and just because mine are visible doesn't mean I want to share the whole story or open myself up for judgement with a total stranger. I've learned how to judge the ones who are truly curious vs rudely curious. My mom and I have a very interesting relationship regarding my tattoos. You handle yours better than I do mine... I have a had habit of almost flaunting my new ink in front of her just to watch her squirm. I think I'll try your methods instead. Love your videos!

[@j4cq289]

I really admire your honesty. I have one single small tattoo on my ribcage that I hide using my bra strap and I wish I had the confidence to discuss it with my parents but they are impossibly against tattoos. Thank you Qcknd! I really enjoy watching all your uploads. Much love. x

[@laurap.3976]

I've definitely been there. I mean, I'm more often approached by people who think my mods are lovely or cool or they say they wished they had been "brave" when they were younger. But there are people in my family who use the way I look against me or express unwanted opinions. My mother in law has essentially stopped commenting on my appearance. Period. Full stop. I'm not sure she envisioned a daughter in law with lots of piercings and tattoos and wild hair. It's a bummer when she's complimenting everyone else, but I feel comfortable in my skin. I'd rather be this way until the day I die than be someone else's ideal image of me.

[@ravenwolfe5825]

You are incredibly wise beyond your years! I wish you were in this world when I was younger--but despite my being older than you, I find you inspiring and I learn a lot. Thank you!

[@thedancemetaltwins]

Really happy you did follow up video to this Tumblr ask!! I don't really agree that walling yourself from people should be a standard but like, I think I'm just more aggressive and head strong when people are constantly putting me down about my body. Be good to yourself qcknd!!

[@909tink]

I have been binge watching all you’re tattoo videos and I loooove your insight as a tattooed woman, you talk so in depth and you get across your points so well and talk about things that I think about but never talk about so I’d just like to say thank you and plzzz keep doing ur thing

[@celidonmv]

i got my first tattoo a two weeks ago.My parents luckily accept my choices even they people will never get a tattoo.But they already said we hope that you not go to be completely covered.I actually think that not go to happen but you never know but it seems in a way they still will control me.They mean it well but it hurts and make feel like some kind of rebel what is totally not what i am.And don't want to be but when stories of you and other i consider myself lucky how parents and friends accept my tattoo. The part you spoke about keeping part of your soul for yourself i do recognize that the way you put it was so perfect and fits for me.I actually feel guilty about it all the time because even i do it to best friend (for me thinking without good reason).I always taught i was over protective for myself and selfish to my friend.I all so know i don't trust people in general i guess but now i thinking maybe i am to harsh for myself.Thanks for a great video and greetings from The Netherlands.

[@7lol2007]

I am 24 and married. My relatives are in asia and I never speak to them. They were never in my life or even cared about me LOL.. My aunt had the audacity to shame my tattoo from a pic i posted. She not only shamed me but showed it to my grandma and started to tell her I am a horrible person etc LOL. this tattoo was a papper crane with water color lol.... My husband and I got it after marriage... LOL I no longer speak to this relatives and have deleted her.

[@jasmina4223]

I have a small tattoo on my wrist, it's like 3 inches, I got it about 3 months ago, and it's my first tattoo. Whenever I go to my parents house I wear long sleeve shirts to cover it up because i know that they'll have something negative to say. My parents are old school, and they've voiced their opinions about tattoos before, and trust me they don't have any nice things to say. This video has truly made me feel more comfortable with the fact that I don't have to focus on other people's opinions on what I find amazing. I feel so confident, and comfortable now, you really put all the perfect words together. Know that you have truly helped me through this video. Thank you

[@mickibabe5495]

"where is heeeee??" "if yOU JUMP OVER THAT FENCE."

[@chiromike7803]

Glad I stuck it out till the end...you made some really good points that I wrote down and will remember....I'm getting my first tattoo on Thursday and already experiencing some negativity from people and enjoyed listening to you and your experience.

[@veronicazingarelli]

I loved when you said that no one can tell you that you're going to regret your tattoos because they're not speaking from experience. I love my tattoos and I love that when I look at them, they're memorials to the time in my life when I got each one. I'm not going to regret them, because I don't regret how I've lived my life so far. I also don't think it's appropriate to comment on anyone's body, ever, without being directly asked.

[@enjoythedivision6]

seriously I really love this video. I can't with the shit like ''be open with your parents!'' ''communication is important!'' like, no, is not the case of many of us, and I hate how people make you feel bad for protecting yourself of the closed minds of your family and friends.

[@alyssaarellano1327]

I really need this, my dad has straight up called my tattoos ugly and my skin ugly. So now as far as I see it, he has lost his right to talk to me about the topic. thank you for this!

[@noni909able]

you speak the truth my sister..i feel you..i get it. You have vocalized and eloquently put..thoughts I have/had as a tattooed woman. This are real issues, regardless of how popular/mainstream tattoos get. Its different as a woman. Props to you for keeping it real Af.

[@cubanita365]

it really hurts to not feel accepting by the people that you love and that should love you back no matter what, I feel so "un-normal" sometimes for not following the social norm that everyone else is following. but I'm learning to be confident enough in myself to not change myself to fit those people's opinions on how to live my life. people think that I'm a bitch sometimes though because I give them back the same attitudes that they give me or because I refuse to succumb to their ideals. but you know what I only get one life in this world so I might as well be happy with what I'm doing as long as I'm not hurting myself or anyone else. and it's not feminism, it's being true to the person that you are and it applies to both women and men. love you and thanks for this video.

[@deltagraph]

I like the advice of "I'm sorry, that's personal." It's simple and easy to remember. I'm gonna start using that.

[@veggiecreamchz]

I LOVE body mods and tattoos and stuff like that and I'm 13. at the end when you were talking about people coming up to you asking questions and stuff at first I was kind of like "if I had tattoos I would answer their questions" but when you talked about how it's private to you and it's your body you can do what you want with it. I was thinking about how I know that my first tattoo will be of something memorable to me and very private and you changed my perception on things because you're right it's your body and you can talk about it as much or as little as you would like. thank you for changing my mind set and teaching my so much about body mods! 💜

[@user-pp8zd2rg6e]

I don't know how to explain it but you just get it, like idk you just, understand. It makes me feel so happy that someone else just gets it and understand what I think. I love you Qcknd, hopefully I make sense!

[@Connieke]

I'm 24 and have an appointment for my very first tattoo in a couple of months. I always knew I was going to get tattoos and I've been quite open about it to my parents from the very beginning. They really don't like it, especially my dad. But still, I tried to include them in the process so far and have tried to prepare them for it. My mom even came along to the shop when I made the appointment and I really think this is the best way to deal with parents that are negative or scared; don't hide it but include them. After talking with my mom about it she has reached a point where she is like; "I still really don't like it, but it's your decision and your body and I respect your choice". This really means a lot to me and I hope my dad will come around as well.

[@sweetally4]

Loved this!! Recently got my first tattoo and only told my close friends and fiancé that I was. When my mom saw it she made a comment like "OK Rebel, we get it." It hurt my feelings because why is getting a tattoo rebellious? It's something I wanted to do for myself. Sigh, I guess you can't control people's reaction. Thanks for this, it helped. ❤️

[@sally-annekusters3276]

Iv been told I will regret my tattoo. I dont think I ever could regret it. its beautiful to me. And if I do? its my body to make mistakes and have regrets with and up to me how I deal with that. likd you getting your ears reconstructed. You delt with it. We live we learn. No right or wrong. Just whats right now may not feel right later on in life. And thats ok :) there is alwase a option to make it right.

[@gabiluvsu2much]

I recently got another piece added to my half sleeve so most of my upper arm is covered and my mom was like "When is it going to stop?" and "If you get too many there will be no focal point". Uh huh.

[@Loveisneverending]

"i dont wanna have dinner with your parents" YESSSS

[@IamGulzow]

You are a beautiful person, and I don't mean just physically. Your tattoos are awesome, your scars are great, and your personality is inspiring. Qcknd, you rock!

[@Bdpeezy98]

"Different strokes for different folks" 😄 I love that (I also love your tattoos. Especially the envelope one on your inner arm)

[@kristavaillancourt6313]

"my body my rules" is something every person needs to remember about themselves. It's important.

[@snowleopard_x3533]

This video is so important to me, i'm sure i'll be rewatching it a lot. I just started getting tattoos and piercings and my parents aren't supportive of it and sometimes i feel really bad about myself. I guess i just have to respect my parents opinion but also start to understand that it is MY body and i'm allowed to do whatever i want with it as long as it makes me happy.

[@ItsJennB]

This is some pretty cool advice, thanks. I actually got a birthday card from my grandmother a couple years ago with money in it and a super mean letter asking me not to get tattoos anymore. It said, "you're too cute a girl to keep mutilating yourself like this," along with a bunch of other bullshit. I wrote her a letter back that said I understood her concerns, but was not about to compromise what I love about myself. I told her thanks for the gift, but I didn't feel right about keeping it if I couldn't promise what she wanted.

[@trista143]

"my body, my rules" yessssssssss! you're the best!

[@sarahbell7780]

I love this video so much. I go through this everyday, not just with my tattoos. I love you!

[@addier7760]

Hey thank you so much for making this. My biggest fear about getting tattoos is about my parents because they often talk about how much they hate tattoos, not knowing I want to get them. This video helped a bit to feel better about telling my parents in the future :)

[@fishnsyd]

People who are inclined to make negative comments about tattoos, piercings, etc are going to find a way to do that regardless of the subject. So you don't have tattoos...maybe they'll comment on your fashion choices, or the way you cut or styled your hair. Some people are just naturally judgmental and think they have a right to police others, so they'll find whatever avenue lets them do that.

[@thatleafy_life]

I had an acquaintance yesterday who asked how old I was when I got my tattoos and said she thought they didn't fit me and she thought I got them as a rebellious act whwn I was young, I actually got them recently and I am in my late 30's. I like them and also feel self conscious at the same time, I want some more work done and that is what bothers me then unfinished part on one, I am not wanting to go get tattood right now I even feel self conscious to go to a shop and have a consult feeling like the tattooer will judge my tattoos as bad I have been wanting to ask you about this for awhile Qcknd and I am glad u did this video

[@thatleafy_life]

I would love 💚💚💜 feedback! ❤❤❤

[@nimrodgrrrl]

I definitely know what you mean about the protection of yourself from others. It's basically just a filter. I mean, you wouldn't necessarily have open discussions with your family about going to a party and getting unbelievably drunk so I guess it can be a similar thing with tattoos. My parents are pretty cool about it, which makes me feel quite lucky. This video was very helpful in regards to my extended family and friends though, so thank you!

[@jaidsilva3067]

I have a lot of people in my life that despise me because of my tattoo's. This video helped me a lot , thank you so much.

[@AchromaticChameleon]

This came to me at the perfect time! I'm going to a family reunion next month and tho' I love my family very much, I'm not so sure they're gonna be ok with my tattoo or the fact that I'm gonna be getting more soon. So thank you!!

[@claudiajade624]

I love your idea about an individual soul that can be just for you. I think it's so rude for ppl to make negative comments about someone's tattoos(/mods). Like, they are a part of your body. I guess at the end of they day it comes down to them just not getting it, but that still doesn't excuse them from judging someone/putting their life decisions down.

[@Mariquillalapantorrilluda]

Watching this all over again just because I'm in LOVE with your hair!

[@teeganmillar7749]

THE HAIR IS TOO CUTE :O

[@Helinacoustic]

Thankful for this video. I got an earful of some pretty hateful stuff from my mom today about my most recent, largest and most visible tattoo. I'm 29 and I still dread going for visits because she still aggressively criticizes me and shames me. Learning to respond with reason and let the rest roll off my back.

[@kristina0415]

this video was so organic, I feel like a was getting a pep talk from the perfect modified best friend I never had. I'm really into feminist commentary and I think it would make a great segment on the channel. you could dedicate a space for it for only your viewers who are interested ?

[@ktrin.h]

Can you do a tutorial for this hair style????

[@TemeryN]

I really like her hair this way too =)

[@katherineclaxton2398]

I second this! Please do a tutorial for your hair. It's so adorable!

[@Melytsf]

just do a lil bun on each side

[@VV-hd9md]

My mom hates body mods and she was very vocal about it until she realised that no matter what she says i'm still going to do it. She still sometimes tells me that she thinks my septum is gross and I don't wear flashy jewlery around her. You kinda learn to cope with it. I started getting piercings and tattoos when I was 16 and it was hard in the beggining. Now that i'm 23 I still have anxiety when I have to tell her i'm getting something done. I wish I could share these things with her since I share everything else

[@VV-hd9md]

I just want to add: No one ever said anything negative to me regarding my tattoos outside of my family. I get looks sometimes but thats it

[@killahnikkix]

my mom was pretty weird about my septum piercing too. when I got it done I was so nervous but her reaction was pretty much "well I mean you're not dead or on drugs so i'm not mad" but she used to make little comments like "when ya gonna take that out?" but it was light hearted and no one really talks about it anymore.

[@brittanywyatt3070]

loved this video so much! my worst is when people say the cliché "but what does it meeaann" like firstly it doesn't have to mean anything and if it does, I'm under absolutely no obligation to tell you mmkay

[@TheNeonz13]

Thank you for this video, it was really helpful. I don't have tattoos yet, but I'm hoping to get them soon, and after hearing so much negativity about my plans, I really needed the reassurance that I'm in charge of my body.

[@VReevesx]

Not even just concerning tattoos, I'd love to delve more into how you broke away confidently from your parents. I have an extremely toxic family environment and as an adult I'm seeing how much it has impacted my ability to navigate through life...or my lack of ability.

[@SofiaGonzalezMusic]

*Pocahontas voice to cat* "be freeee.."

[@torisuhy8886]

My family always used to say I can't believe your mom lets you get tattoos and piercings. I'm an adult and I chose to get this done. I don't need to ask anyone's permission.

[@BrittBlair94]

Got my first tattoo a few days ago and this video really helped, you're awesome girl!