QI Compilation | QI vs Conspiracy Theories

[@peteryoung8462]

"When she died, she claimed to be the Holy Spirit". Small point, but an important one- Did she make this claim before she died, or after?

[@bigblue6917]

I think if after then that would have made her case for being the holy ghost. The fact that the holy ghost is not actually a thing would seem to go against her though

[@burnsloads]

@@bigblue6917 yes but the original point has never been clarified so your certainty is certainly unfounded.

[@David_in_Thailand]

The quote clearly says "When she died", so isn't that at the moment of death?

[@bremCZ]

Neither. It was when she died.

[@stustu9717]

If she claimed it after she died then I am rather inclined to believe her

[@TheRealJethuty]

These new 10-min compilations are infinitely better than the old 2-min ones.

[@MrTohawk]

5 times

[@DawgBreff]

Indeed

[@simonextra9689]

Tohawk amazing comment as expected from a QI viewer

[@therussmeister]

Eleven minutes would be better.

[@samiam619]

But why can’t they just post the entire show? In order...

[@michaeljohnangel6359]

Another serious problem with the Earl of Oxford's writing as Shakespeare is that he was indeed a poet; however, his poems are not good. It seems unreasonable that a poet would publish bad poetry in his own name, but ascribe another person's name to the great ones.

[@alexanderwaugh7036]

Can you quote a poem by the Earl of Oxford just so we can see for ourselves how bad they are? You’re comment has 169 upticks as though everyone knows his poems really well. Do they?

[@michaeljohnangel6359]

@@alexanderwaugh7036 You could google his poetry. Here's one, though, as an example (not that I could do any better, but Shakespeare could-and did!): My meaning is to work what wonders love hath wrought, Wherewith I muse why men of wit have love so dearly bought; For love is worse than hate, and eke more harm hath done: Record I take of those that rede of Paris, Priam’s son. It seemed the God of sleep had mazed so much his wits When he refused wit for love, which cometh but by fits; But why accuse I him, whom earth hath covered long? There be of his posterity alive, I do him wrong. Whom I might well condemn to be a cruel judge Unto myself, who hath the crime in others that I grudge.

[@Nullifidian]

@@michaeljohnangel6359 "For love is worse than hate, and eke more harm hath done:" This is one of telling attributes of Oxford's poetry: because he couldn't think of any creative way of reaching the requisite number of beats per line, he often wrote lines entirely consisting of monosyllables. Also the introduction of the unnecessary word "eke" (meaning "also"). That it has done more harm than good is surely the _explanation_ for why love is worse than hate, but de Vere, because he couldn't figure out any better way of padding out the line, turned it into an incidental observation! Another example is this one: The labouring man that tills the fertile soil And reaps the harvest fruit hath not indeed The gain, but pain, and if for all his toil He gets the straw, the Lord will have the seed. The Manchet fine falls not unto his share, On coarsest cheat his hungry stomach feeds. The Landlord doth possess the finest fare; He pulls the flowers, the other plucks but weeds. The mason poor, that builds the Lordly halls, Dwells not in them, they are for high degree; His Cottage is compact in paper walls, And not with brick or stone as others be. The idle Drone that labours not at all Sucks up the sweet of honey from the Bee. Who worketh most, to their share least doth fall; With due desert reward will never be. The swiftest Hare unto the Mastiff slow Oft times doth fall to him as for a prey; The Greyhound thereby doth miss his game we know For which he made such speedy haste away. So he that takes the pain to pen the book Reaps not the gifts of goodly golden Muse, But those gain that who on the work shall look, And from the sour the sweet by skill doth choose. For he that beats the bush the bird not gets, But who sits still, and holdeth fast the nets. This has seven lines of pure monosyllables (lines 3-4, 18, 21, 23-25), which accounts for more than a quarter of the poem, and many more lines where but for a single two-syllable word it would be entirely monosyllabic. Furthermore, he introduces words purely to make up the minimum number of beats (such as the grammatical train wreck of "But those gain that who on the work shall look"), and in the final line inflects verbs one way and then another because he couldn't think of a way to inflect them consistently and maintain the beat number. Artistically, it should be either "sitteth still" and "holdeth fast" or "sits still" and "holds fast". Doing it one way and then the other is clearly a signal that he couldn't figure out a better way of reaching ten beats per line. Another grammatical train wreck occurs in line 22, where "goodly golden Muse" is missing a definite article, the. He just left it off because it would have made an eleventh syllable and hoped nobody would notice. But the crowning turd in the water-pipe, as Gen. Melchett would put it, is that godawful couplet at the end. "For he that beats the bush the bird not gets" may well be the worst line ever to be written in the 16th century. Again, we sense incapability: de Vere simply couldn't figure out any better way of creating a rhyming couplet at the end than with the gets and nets rhyme he settled for, even though it required that he turn the penultimate line into a pretzel and a particularly deformed one at that. "Gets not the bird" would have been passable, but then he would no longer have a rhyme for "nets", but this line as it stands is as bad as it "not gets".

[@stevencoffin328]

Also another problem with people saying "how could a middle class person write these plays?" Is that Shakespeare got a lot of stuff wrong. For example in "As You Like It" some of the characters are attacked by a wild lion. "As You Like It" takes place in France.

[@bingola45]

@@Nullifidian Sounds like the Earl of Oxford wrote Wilde, too!

[@Eralen00]

There is one level above "Most secret" in Britain, its "Most secret indeed"

[@QueenMegaera]

Knowing I'm about to sound like a complete idiot: is that true or just a good joke?

[@stefm.5947]

@@QueenMegaera It's not just true, it's true indeed

[@BumMcFluff]

What about "Jolly Secret"?

[@estoy1001]

No the highest is, obviously, "Bugger Off!".

[@mil3k]

@@estoy1001 Sounds more Australian to me.

[@Incurious_]

Not very fair that everyone got to dress up apart from David Mitchell.

[@campsjams]

Don Roshi how should I approach this role - posh and repressed or repressed and posh?

[@zapkvr]

Very nice

[@hhiippiittyy]

He probably had a note from his wife.

[@rivers4753]

Reminded me of that episode of Would I lie to you where it was revealed that he used to wear a cape and hide in his closet when he was younger.

[@frac]

@@rivers4753 Much like, I would assume, almost every other child living in any country with superheroes and closets.

[@ZergrushEddie]

Hearing the “Five Eyes” of signals intelligence boiled down to “basically, don’t tell the French” is highly amusing.

[@zapkvr]

I know and including NZ as well for added humiliation.

[@blackletter2591]

Do we let any Quebecois in?

[@LEO_M1]

dragonize They’re pseudo-French, so no.

[@ThisCharmingMan1984]

@@LEO_M1 This reminds of an old joke from the great Jerry Sadowitz. Back in the early 90’s, when he was at the ‘Just for Laughs’ comedy festival, in Montreal, Jerry Sadowitz opened his show with the great line: “Hello moosefuckers! I tell you why I hate Canada, half of you speak French, and the other half let them." Clearly someone in attendance couldn’t take the joke- which was actually pretty tame, for Jerry Sadowitz, as he was then knocked unconscious by a member of the audience; though he said attack came after his next line, when he finished with: "Why don't you speak Indian (Native America)? You might as well speak the language of the people you stole the country off of in the first place." Just seeing you call them pseudo-French reminded of this bit haha. All the best. 👍😀

[@nathanielpea5819]

Yeah. This comment section, much like QI is strictly for midwit and below. Intelligent people don't watch television. And no. I didn't watch this excrement. I'm just here to wind up the idiots.

[@AnonYmous-mc5zx]

They're saying "Most Secret" is the most British, but I'd say "Don't tell the French" is the most British.

[@mrdfac]

No no, don't trust the French. 😉

[@U2QuoZepplin]

And that’s coming from a Dane! Okay an American Dane.

[@kickedinthecalfbyacow7549]

Mongo Boogie so, an American then.

[@flaviusbelisarius7517]

@@mrdfac that did us well in ww2 when de Gaulle lied about taking back amiens, forcing us to move our forces to reinforce therefore leaving other forces flanks unguarded

[@ordinarybear7037]

All the govern'ments work together to support the narrative of lies¿ look into the antartic treaty signed in the 1950s, russia usa etc, all working together in science, really . .

[@RaggedDan]

The last section on Shakespeare and how it all got discussed, at that length, and with the specific questions asked, was really entertaining and informative, fantastic bit of the show.

[@ZesPak]

The more I see from David Mitchell, the more I can't help but love the guy. He's funny, well spoken and clearly extremely intelligent. Oh and his wife is great as well.

[@somegirl558]

Victoria? They are divorced for ages now.

[@DJSudermann]

@@somegirl558 where do you get that from? I don't think that's accurate

[@Wolfington]

@@somegirl558 bollocks they are

[@huepix]

yeah, hes brilliant, talented engaging . . . I fucking hate him lol

[@Neil070]

@@somegirl558 Not divorced, they were on Celebrity Gogglebox not long back

[@Jvegas2281]

That Beatles cigarette edit reminded me of a similar one. If you were to work in a Disney park, you're told to direct guests by pointing with your index and middle finger. This is because a lot of photos of Walt Disney had him holding a cigarette, which were later edited out, so it looks like he's just pointing with two fingers, and they say they're paying homage to Walt's unique method of pointing.

[@moriahgamesdev]

That's doing a gun.

[@ericfleming5522]

@@moriahgamesdev it's clearly not, right?

[@rumpelpumpel7687]

@@ericfleming5522 depends on the position of the thumb i'd say. When i was a kid, we had the thumb up as the revolver hammer so we could simulate fanning... dont know if that is still a thing ^^

[@jb888888888]

In some cultures outside the US pointing with a single index finger is very rude and in the US pointing with a single middle finger is very rude. So there's that too.

[@JLBodhran]

It's also a totally incorrect fact, modern copies *do* still have the cigarette on them. What happened was a US poster firm a few years ago, producing posters of the cover removed the cigarette, and Apple sued them for it as they did removed it without their permission.

[@mrcat3493]

“Basically, don’t tell the French” killed me. 😂

[@robertmcqueen289]

Intriguing fact about secret clearance. There are two that Stephen didn't mention. In World War 2 the highest level was 'ULTRA'. This document came from the code breakers who broke the enigma code at Bletchley Park. Also, there is also another high one called 'For Eyes Only'. This document/documents were read with a security officer present at all times, and signed on arrival, and departure from the person reading them. This one inspired the James bond movie title, 'For your eyes only'.

[@jb888888888]

*KLAXON* Technically it inspired the title of the James Bond short story by Ian Fleming, "For Your Eyes Only" which in turn inspired the film _For Your Eyes Only._

[@rplasticpirate3999]

Well technically thats usually labels: ULTRA one being codenamed/compartmentalizing so that's the code word clearance or "being read into a [code word] program" beside needing in this case most secret I would think. The other is for narrowing the scope beyond "any one with the general clearance at this level and work related need can read this" to say only "only for cleared people of this level with brown eyes" but not requiring the full slow down and labor of need to get approval to be read into the program.

[@angusdunn474]

There was a wonderful clip showing the pigeonholes labelled secret top secret etc. And then there was another one - The King!

[@SamuelBlack84]

There are documents from WW2 that are still classified

[@robertmcqueen289]

@@SamuelBlack84. True. The story behind the burying of the 'Maissey battery', l don't think will ever be told. That missing part of D Day is still classed as secret. Even today.

[@carlwilkerson9722]

Isn't the highest level of British informational sensitivity not "Most Secret" but "Quite Interesting " ?

[@kossend1]

And the number one secret in that category is how the QI scores are arrived at

[@greenredblue]

So what level of secrecy is "Someone Else's Problem"?

[@BumMcFluff]

@@greenredblue That would be at "Parliamentary" level.

[@Rapidpanda1st]

"Most Secret" is so incredibly British. "Oh no no, we mustn't look at these documents, they're most secret"

[@emilchandran546]

It makes so much more sense. I like it. At least, I tend to say top when referring to the number 1, individual or priority etc. I have one top preference, there is one top grossing film this year etc. Whereas, a category of the highest order would be “most”. I wouldn’t say these are my top priorities, (it sounds like a contradiction to me) I would say these are my highest priorities. Highest as in most high. I guess it is an example of how things have changed with the American influence. As I am thinking about it I can see how others would use top where I use most. But I really like it.

[@zxcv6428]

It's not really that weird if you think about it, "most secret" is the superlative form of "secret", it would be like saying "secretest". If you think about it it's actually the most logical name for it.

[@rjjcms1]

There should be a Least Secret category as well. It's secret,just not very.

[@paulharries9558]

How to stop British people doing anything. Threaten embarrassment.

[@zetetick395]

Crikey, you rotters! Here's (one of the silliest) most British songs ever, to go along with it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/m6vKmmSFoMp6i5o (The Bonzo Doo-Dah Dog band!) 💖 KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON! 💂‍♀️

[@odysseusrex5908]

J.K. Rowling is a front. The Duke of Westminster wrote Harry Potter!

[@ciaragildea998]

I thought it was Hatsune Miku

[@TheYeetusLord]

Nah nah her name’s not the front. The government is *hiding* the fact that magic exists and J.K was just the minister of magic at that time. The Harry Potter series is an indirect autobiography😄

[@fpspwny995]

@@ciaragildea998 The creator of Minecraft?

[@ciaragildea998]

@@fpspwny995 she's a woman of many talents

[@fpspwny995]

@6ix 9ine So is that -10 points then?

[@thisravenhasflown010]

9:56 "Insert topical gag here" David Mitchell sums up these conspiracies for me😂😂

[@SupachargedGaming]

"I figured out something even the president doesn't know!" "Oh yeah, what's that?" "How to close an umbrella."

[@TheHutchy01]

Not to look at the sun.

[@gamelegend7765]

How to run a country. How to be the worlds most hated person. How to be a wast of space. The list goes on.

[@rjjcms1]

I'm sure our Donald will get that space clearance for himself once he finds out he hasn't got it.

[@paulharries9558]

"Everything"

[@dogwalker666]

How to fasten a neck tie.

[@charlestownsend9280]

"We need a name for secret documents about space to hide all our knowledge about aliens and things in space." "What about cosmic?" "Perfect! No one will ever think that those would contain information about aliens."

[@SamuelBlack84]

Everyone will probably assume it's written by Beth Gaga Shaggy. The founder of Space Star Ordering

[@0berlander]

"COSMIC Top Secret" is in fact a thing. It's NATO's highest level of classified information. COSMIC is an acronym that means "Control of Secret Material in an International Command".

[@SamuraiPipotchi]

Someone should have said YMCA for the Beatles Semaphore one

[@DeadlyPants123]

I was thinking that! 😂

[@tselengbotlhole750]

Samurai Pipotchi exactly what I thought 🤣🤣🤣

[@rjjcms1]

Could be in anagram,as the Y appears to be second left.

[@petermallia558]

Mate I've just scrolled down and noticed your comment, because I wrote exactly that, caught just before completing YMCA dance,.... great minds think alike brother.

[@michaellejeune7715]

Sure that would have been a buzzer. :)

[@lmnisop5516]

Billy Buchanan from Bonnybridge sounds like a character from a children's book

[@robertofontiglia4148]

He sounds like an old friend of Bob Mortimer's

[@paulwallis7586]

The trouble with the Shakespeare theories is that the voice is the same throughout. Bacon reads nothing like that. Marlowe's expression is more modern, with poetic intonations. The conspiracy, ineffectual as it is, looks more like creating an issue than finding an issue.

[@rjohn19]

Fascinating topic. My favorite article on the subject- strong enough to make me a skeptic but not enough to make me an absolute conspiracy believer- came from Games magazine 2006 and archived by the Smithsonian. Don't be put off by the source as Games usually had one solid article a month on things like historical magic or code-breaking. Here is the link www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/to-be-or-not-to-be-shakespeare-127247606/

[@FrenkTheJoy]

Also people argue that Shakespeare was just some uneducated bloke from nowhere, but his mother was a member of the gentry and thus probably educated to some degree, and his father was apparently respected enough to become mayor. So I feel like he certainly has a good enough background to suggest he was smart enough to write stuff. Plus it's not like being uneducated means you aren't capable of having an imagination.

[@paulwallis7586]

@@FrenkTheJoy The people who are anti-visualization are the people who apparently can't visualize for themselves. It's pretty typical of this society.

[@MarkLucasProductions]

There must be other examples of literary genius emerging from unlikely sources. I'm not a genius but I'm a non-reader (virtually illiterate) from a lower working-class family. I have a very large vocabulary and a talent for academic writing. It is not difficult at all for me to imagine Shakespeare having produced the works attributed to him. Pointing the finger at his lack of education is almost ridiculous from my perspective.

[@gavpowell1981]

I'd be quite depressed to find Marlowe was Shakespeare, as Marlowe's work is far more entertaining than Shakespeare's for me - I have very little tolerance for Shakespeare or Dickens, regardless of the esteem in which they're held.

[@notdaveschannel9843]

Are we sure people in Bonnybridge aren't just seeing the sun for the first time?

[@Alan-xxxxxx]

300 times a year?

[@emjackson2289]

I was surprised it wasn't near RAF Macrahanish tbh.

[@jacktherimmer]

I can confirm that the reports of livestock particularly sheep being probed are true in the Highlands and Islands. Probed anally. Millions of light years they travelled to probe a sheep’s anus. I don’t believe them, I think they are pumping them

[@jimmyusee]

Aeroplanes?? 😂👍

[@Chafflives]

Only appears once in the summer.

[@belle.m]

It was Ben Jonson, a friend of Shakespeare, who wrote the preface of the First Folio. The guy idolised him. Don’t know why there are so many conspiracy theories about Shakespeare. There is more evidence to say he did write it, than he didn’t. Don’t understand why people don’t want to believe that someone just had a great talent for the stage and wordplay.

[@BumMcFluff]

The reason there are so many theories is that there are so many people desperate to be seen as intellectual. Far too many want attention without having done anything meaningful to achieve it, better (and easier) to hop on a conspiracy theory.

[@felicitybywater8012]

I remember this tedious theory doing the rounds at high school. I was baffled as to why anyone would believe that tripe. It's so bloody obviously tripe. But that was when I was young and innocent of the ways of fools.

[@lancer525]

Because there's always some idjit out there who, in their dark, dank, miserable little world, thinks they've stumbled upon something earth-shattering, where no one else has. And then their whole identity becomes wrapped up in it to the point that no amount of evidence whatsoever could convince them they're wrong.

[@RandomPlayIist]

@@felicitybywater8012 It's not tripe if you listen to the evidence. At the very least it's unlikely that the person we think wrote them, actually did.

[@cabrown308]

It’s not they don’t think someone has that level of ability. It’s they don’t think it was Shakespeare.

[@hisxmark]

I read about one literary scholar who spent his whole professional life arguing that the Iliad and Odyssey were not composed by Homer, but by another poet of the same name.

[@hisxmark]

@@ΜαρίαΠαππά-σ8ο Exactly! 'When 'Omer smote 'is bloomin' lyre...' Introduction to the 'Barrack-Room Ballads' in 'The Seven Seas' When 'Omer smote 'is bloomin' lyre, He'd 'eard men sing by land an' sea; An' what he thought 'e might require, 'E went an' took - the same as me! The market-girls an' fishermen, The shepherds an' the sailors, too, They 'eard old songs turn up again, But kep' it quiet - same as you! They knew 'e stole; 'e knew they knowed. They didn't tell, nor make a fuss, But winked at 'Omer down the road, An' 'e winked back - the same as us! Rudyard Kipling

[@qwertyTRiG]

One of my favourite jokes, that, and so few people get it.

[@hisxmark]

@@qwertyTRiG Certain people just can't get the point. Only uncertain people can.

[@susie9893]

Yes, I've heard that theory too 🙄 Conspiracy theorists are people in want of a life

[@donwild50]

Paul is also not in step with the other 3 Beatles. They're all on their left foot, while he is on his right. Sort of saying "I'm not with these guys...anymore. And someone nicked my shoes."

[@sandraleishman878]

I wish I could see the whole show on here instead of snippets. Love it.

[@dpn78]

If you search with Qi full episodes you do get quite a few

[@sandraleishman878]

@@dpn78 ty!

[@aljoschalong625]

I believe it was Woody Allen, who proposed the theory that Shakespeare didn't write the famous plays, but another man whose name, by pure chance, also was Shakespeare.

[@MindinViolet]

There is no way I would spend my entire life writing successful plays just so I could give someone else the credit for it.

[@DneilB007]

The whole thing falls apart when you consider that Shakespeare published non-dramatic poems during 1593-94, when the Earl of Oxford was trying to arrange a marriage between his daughter (Elizabeth) and the Earl of Southampton. The poems are unquestionably by the same person who wrote the plays. 'Venus and Adonis' is about a young man who rejects Venus' amorous interest and prefers manly pursuits like hunting, and is then gored by a wild boar; 'The Rape of Lucrece' is about a tyrant who rapes the wife of a nobleman out of lust, and how that lust destroys him and his kingdom, which then becomes a republic after the resultant civil war. So, on the one hand, we have the Earl of Oxford saying 'marry my daughter, who is named after the Queen' and, on the other hand, the purported Earl of Oxford saying to the same nobleman, 'love/lust is a destructive force that can wreck your life and destroy a kingdom'. I am not certain that the two poems would help advance deVere's plans to marry his daughter to the Earl of Southampton.

[@MyLateralThawts]

You’d think Sir Francis Bacon would have been satisfied with all his other contributions to science, law and philosophy, but no, he had to write volumes of plays under a pseudonym so no one would ever forget his primary invention ...bacon!

[@Bobba8590]

France is bacon?

[@lunganigumede6678]

Bill “why are you talking like this” ruined me 🤣

[@theradioactiveplayer3461]

The Shakespeare conspiracy strikes me as _exceptionally_ upper-class. "Oh, those peasants can't possibly have reared an excellent writer, no no, it must have secretly been a noble!"

[@paschallehany369]

And the thing is he was no peasant. He just wasn't posh.

[@denisecampbell3416]

It is one of the most elitist ideas out there. The man from Stratford was the son of a leading citizen of the town and as such would have attended its grammar school. He was born in a time when England was largely at peace after the Wars of the Roses concluded and had finally caught on to the Renaissance. As such, he was surrounded by a flowering of all the arts. No one in his own time or for hundreds of years after his death ever doubted he was capable of being the writer.

[@nuxxism]

Stephen sounding very Alan Rickman as the UFO conspiracy theorist.

[@TheZapan99]

He's not pinching his lips enough for a Rickman.

[@danwic]

I was going to say more along the lines of Peter Cook lol

[@decodolly1535]

@@danwic Absolutely. E L Whistey reborn!

[@dragonsword7370]

Alan rickman in a movie as a life conspiracists would have been awesome!

[@kickedinthecalfbyacow7549]

danwic “will this wind be so mighty...”

[@SunnyIntervalsORG]

"So, it's maximum security." "Yes sir, only myself and the rest of the English speaking world is to know!"

[@Edawgpilot]

But not the French!

[@randomnessrules4971]

The Tenth Doctor knows these aren't government conspiracy theories because he did them himself.

[@paulharries9558]

I am disappointed that Doctor Who buys into Beatles conspiracy theories. Although I did once have a long chat with Paul McGann about the Paul is Dead idea. I too am called Paul. What are the odds?

[@randomnessrules4971]

There are 7.7 billion people on Earth. About 1.1 million of them are called Paul. So, 1 in 7,000. The odds that three random people are Paul would therefore be 1 in 21,000.

[@paulharries9558]

I think I worked in the same place as all the Pauls. It was always confusing come tea break.

[@randomnessrules4971]

"So, who are you talking about? The Eighth Doctor, the bestselling singer in history, or this guy?"

[@paulharries9558]

I meant the other Pauls, you silly sausage.

[@andystokes8702]

There is a lovely scene from the sitcom Yes Prime Minister where Sir Humphrey Appleby, a top civil servant passes a file to the Prime Minister, Jim Hacker and tells him it is 'Top Secret'. Jim replies, 'So everybody has seen it'?

[@olefredrikskjegstad5972]

"Who knows about the winner of the Napoleon Prize?" "It's top secret" "Oh, you mean everyone"

[@susie9893]

​@@olefredrikskjegstad5972a truly great show

[@markblaze10]

Just had a look at my 2012 digital remaster and my 2019 reissue Abbey Road LPs, they both have the cigarette still on them. I wonder if the disappearing cigarettes are on other formats or maybe specific to certain countries? EDIT: Found it. It wasn't album covers, US poster companies removed it from posters.

[@koira163]

I find it funny how people say Shakespeare could have never wrote all the stuff he did because he was uneducated and didn't travel so how did he have all this information... As if people didn't tell stories about their travels to each other.

[@susie9893]

And he could've travelled anyway. He trained as a glovier (family business) and this was a respected and needed profession throughout Europe. He wouldn't have been the first person to take a working holiday and certainly wasn't the last

[@BigAlCapwn]

2:45 - 4:55 Bill Bailey looks stoned

[@Ixaglet]

stoned af

[@jonb4155]

3:40 for Bill Bailey looking absolutely baked.

[@blitcut9712]

The problem with alien UFO sightings for me is the idea that there are incredibly technologically advanced civilisations, a necessity to traverse the stars, that should have technology that we can't even imagine and yet they can't even hide from some random Joe on earth and that apparently their idea of hiding is shining bright lights in the sky.

[@CharizardMaster69]

I shall point you to the Jeff Foxworthy joke. Who’d you think the aliens would appear before, a scientist going “well they appeared to be from a world similar to ours except they breathe through their translucent epidermis” or Cleet in his overalls going “They looked like a giant booger!”

[@SamuelBlack84]

They do seem to go to extreme lengths to just carry out a colourful display in the sky

[@maknavickas]

I would counter that if their vessel had the speed ave agility to quickly escape after being seen that just being seen would not be that big of a deal.

[@PetWanties]

Not quite sure what I watched or why this was recommended but I did enjoy it.

[@qwertyTRiG]

There are full episodes of QI available on KZbin if you want to try it out.

[@tairneanaich]

After Lee said „where‘s the cigarette gone?“ I half expected someone to say „he‘s smoked it“

[@peterolsen9131]

OMG! sue perkins dressed in that outfit is so beautiful! i think its the contrast of old style dress with modern glasses, stunning

[@SkywardSpork]

@@peterolsen9131 I don't know if you do know, but you can edit KZbin comments, In case you want to fix the mistake

[@peterolsen9131]

@@SkywardSpork oh, and yes i know how to edit but if i did no one would know what all these replies are about! peace

[@SkywardSpork]

@@peterolsen9131 It can happen, I call people the wrong name all the time, I work at a hotel and I would always call the boss what the chef was called and the chef what the boss was called

[@TuttleCapt]

@@peterolsen9131 I first read that as Sarah Purcell, who was a host on a show called "Real People".

[@jazzmoon77]

Also her exquisite androgyny

[@Cpt50Caliber]

That annoyed look David gives when his buzzer doesn’t go off makes me laugh so god damn hard xD

[@EmsionProductions]

Stephen Fry doing a dead-on impression of Keir Starmer at 3:24 Genuinely incredible.

[@jamesfelixdupont]

Grow up you tit!

[@WilliamSmith-mx6ze]

I think it's his E.L. Wisty. I'd have expected at least Bill Bailey to get that.

[@DemstarAus]

I am convinced Alan and Stephen coordinated their shirts/outfits each episode.

[@paulharries9558]

Aliens won't come here. They're on the lookout for intelligent life.

[@samiam619]

“Scotty, beam me up there’s no intelligent life here.”

[@lawrenceworrell5677]

Best comment.

[@PanglossDr]

I remember my Dad telling me that Shakespeare didn't write his plays. They were written by another guy called Shakespeare.

[@augmenautus]

The panel on Shakespeare's identity was actually quite interesting. I had an English professor who didn't believe Shakespeare wrote the plays.

[@Nullifidian]

You should have gotten a refund on the cost of taking that course.

[@susie9893]

I mean that's got to be a waste of a life

[@simonlamarche1]

Well, Aliens are pretty up high in the sky. It seems logical to me that it would be pretty hard to reach them with only 5 or 6 levels of security. To me, personally, 34 levels sound about the right hight. But I am no connoisseur.

[@noatrope]

Aliens are from space, which is defined as beginning above an altitude of 100km. This suggests a conversion ratio of approximately three kilometres per level of secrecy.

[@donpcmartin]

Outfits gets progressively hilarious in these clips

[@CoolCoyote]

I like Shakespeare even more now, a middle of the range guy who happened to be the greatest genius ever or one of them atleast

[@sirandrelefaedelinoge]

_"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face when you've been probed..."_ 👽👾👽

[@susie9893]

Bill laughs from the other side of his face

[@NewMessage]

Is this Quite Interesting? Or is that what they WANT us to believe? * straightens tinfoil beanie *

[@danielcrockett8398]

Questionable intelligence 😨

[@JoaoPessoa86]

Tin foil will only amplify the signal

[@lewisk8077]

Quantify Insanity

[@Jake5762]

I'll sell you my lead bonnet. I'll throw in alien abduction insurance in there too. Very good deal.

[@asnekboi7232]

Jake5762 does it cover giving birth to the second Christ

[@opheliaismyname9180]

I mean, alien impregnation of men happens in The Sims, so it must be real. I mean, it's got to be grounded in fact, right?

[@robmarrin6720]

David makes a great point at the end ❤️👍

[@liammcooper]

3:40 he's talking like that because Peter Cook used to do a highly paranoid conspiracy theorist in a trenchcoat. Pretty spot on impression.

[@kickedinthecalfbyacow7549]

Will this wind be so mighty, as to lay low, the mountains, of the earth?

[@josephpublico2337]

@@kickedinthecalfbyacow7549 Yes.

[@alanwakeish]

It's funny that in the Shakespeare section of the video, it has David Mitchell, when a few years later he played Shakespeare in a sitcom all about him.

[@susie9893]

No no, David Mitchell *is* Shakespeare. That's obvious

[@TheJapanChannelDcom]

Intelligent people laughing at conspiracy nuts - how refreshing. 😀

[@NickMullet]

"insert topical gag here" is actually hilarious if it was just off the cuff as we are led to believe haha.

[@nazilash3005]

"but also it's basically don't tell the French" =))))))))

[@shanewright2772]

On the Abbey Road cover, John, Ringo and Paul are all wearing suits from the same tailor

[@randyj420]

Thanks - big fan in Los Angeles since the start.

[@MakeSomeNoisePlaylists]

I like Mexico ♥️👍🏽

[@Soul_404.]

“Don’t tell the french” 😂 well why not they can find out themselves

[@reevethomas1083]

The UFO part, nice to see a full female panel. Plus Alan of course

[@SpiritmanProductions]

"Secret" < "Most Secret" < "Utmost Secret" < "Don't tell the French"

[@theena]

The problem with the Shakespeare skeptic school of thought is it always starts from a classist premise: oh he wasn't an aristocrat in the 16th century, therefore he couldn't write it.

[@Nullifidian]

And also the utterly irrational premise that if a play features aristocrats it must be written by aristocrats. By which standard one can argue that the democratic system of Athens couldn't have possibly given rise to the aristocratic point of view that suffuses the plays of Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Euripides, so their plays were all written in Sparta by its hereditary kings instead.

[@lilymarinovic1644]

Not to mention that the plays had some clangers - like.giving the landlocked country of Bohemia a sea coast, or anachronistic spectacles and clock in Anthony and Cleopatra. Shows his education was lacking in some respects.

[@dscott6629]

Well let us concede the fact that he had a hard time spelling his name might have created some doubt.

[@Nullifidian]

@@dscott6629 It might create some doubt in the minds of people who are unaware how flexible spelling was in the early modern era. His contemporary Christopher Marlowe left one signature where he spelled his name "Christofer Marley" (or possibly "Marloy"). Other people spelled his name Marlow, Marlo, Marloe, Marlen, Marlin, Marline, Marlye, Marlyne, Marlinge, Marlynge, Morle, Morley, and my favorite, Merlin. But nobody was in doubt that he was the author of seven plays, a translation of the first book of Lucan's _Civil War_ , the first part of the narrative poem _Hero and Leander_ (finished by George Chapman), and "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love".

[@dscott6629]

@@Nullifidian That is an interesting point I'll take into account the next time the subject arises. 🤔

[@dusty2774]

this is the greatest show on telly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@marycanary86]

david tennant absolutely dying straight into bill baileys face xD

[@Fuzy2K]

1:29 -- "We need to distract people from the fact that John died, and we replaced him." "I know, let's say we replaced Paul!"

[@unniFI]

these compilations are great!

[@darthrevan-]

0:13 the 10th doctor is undercover as a regular human

[@karlclemmy2054]

At 7-35, when Stephen starts talking about Shakespeare, Mark Twain, a Looney from Newcastle, isn't the picture they use for the Looney, Ross Noble, it certainly looks like him

[@benjaminsmith1329]

I was about to say the same thing. He certainly is a loony from Newcastle but not THE loony in question.

[@karlclemmy2054]

@@benjaminsmith1329 he's a very funny Looney though, glad it's not only me who thinks it's him

[@dorbid]

That really does look like him, I’d go so far to say it is him. How weird!

[@karlclemmy2054]

@@dorbid think it is him, thought I was going Looney thinking it was, chuffed to know I'm not the only one

[@hollylynch9349]

David Tennent:"I am a wallress" Lee:"help" David :"Abby road" Stephen: goes through how the beetles are dressed. Most secret = British Top secret = American Cosmic secret = secret that the president doesn't know but u figured it out. Love QI #QIAllTheWay

[@dielaughing73]

The Five Eyes is a thing though. Allows our govts to 'not spy on their own' but still access domestic intel shared by the other eyes.

[@blackletter2591]

And is thought to include a sixth observer country which has a proven traven track record in espionage and counterintelligence.

[@As_in_gamer]

The beatles one is slightly incorrect as steven days "new unknown john vocalist" when its actually "New unknown James vocalist" as Pauls first name is actually james

[@mantistoboggan5171]

10:31 exactly how you describe the vast, vast majority of conspiracy "theories".

[@mantistoboggan5171]

@Nim Chimpsky other than that ufo that was seen about 3 years ago, i've never seen anything about it, and it doesn't mean they are aliens either.

[@betrthnu3413]

@Nim Chimpsky Don't forget human mutilations, a scary topic, 'ufo's and nato' by richard hall is a very eye opening doc.

[@betrthnu3413]

@Nim Chimpsky Yes, watch 'ufo's and nato the human mutilation cover-up' on his channel very interesting/disturbing. Then the follow ups, lectures etc He's found images of other human mutilations, the same as animal mutilations.

[@mantistoboggan5171]

@Nim Chimpsky scientists have been discussing a multiverse for decades. it's incredibly strange how we live in an age where we can take a photo on our phones, something we have with us every day, have access to the entire world, and can post photos in minutes, yet we don't have admissible photos to demonstrate that they do exist, yet for the decades of poor quality cameras saw a time where they were spotted all the time..... closest thing we have ever encountered was that unidentified flying object spotted by usa fighter jets a few years ago.

[@deltav864]

@Nim Chimpsky To quote a panel member from this video: "If you open you mind too much your brain might fall out." - Tim Minchin. The fact is that these types of claims (alien abduction, mind-reading, ghost sightings etc.) have been scrutinized by scientific means quite often and never have they found any credibility to their claims. The mind likes to wander when we experience something we can't explain, which is exactly why conspiracy theories are a thing. And that's fine if you just dip in your toes, but when you submerge yourself entirely you might get lost in the ocean of BS.

[@nachoolo]

What David Mitchell says at the end is right on point. Like. How many successful writers do you know that were extremely wealthy and famous when they started to write? Is Stephen King the heir of a big business? Was Cervantes a great noblemen? Alexandre Dumas' father was a renowned general... who started his life as a slave and felt in disgrace later in his life became he refused to murder rebellious slaves in Haiti. F. Scott Fitzgerald's father sold furniture. Put it simply. The best writers come from the lower and middle classes. With very few exceptions like Tolkien or Tolstói.

[@masonbeck566]

The funny thing about the classification of secret information is there are actually higher classifications within Intel agencies. Edward Snowden revealed this in a number of his interviews.

[@HambleyBambley]

They aren’t classifications, they are caveats and control measures. It’s to take account for different levels of sensitivities in collection methods and technical capabilities

[@CrystalDrangonfly]

The first part is from my favourite episode. I cry laughing every time.

[@readhistory2023]

Information "above Top Secret" is either Sensitive Compartmented Information (SCI) or special access program (SAP) which are phrases used by media. It is not truly "above" Top Secret, since there is no clearance higher than Top Secret.

[@Emperorhirohito19272]

That’s what they want you to think

[@bencu6839]

3:40 when he's doing the alien conspiracy voice he sounds so much like Keir Starmer xD

[@JepMasta]

3:45 They all talk like David Mitchell, apparently

[@katelyn6989]

Actually did a double take when I realized Dobby from Peep Show was in this

[@bigblue6917]

Ben Jonson was a close friend of Shakespeare and a great admirer of his plays. So mystery solved. Back in the 60s there was a music teacher who claimed Lennon and McCartney could not have written the Beatles song and it was their manager who wrote them because he went to public school. Case collapsed somewhat then their manager died but Lennon and McCartney still wrote songs.

[@bigblue6917]

@John Osman Interestingly Hollywood's top music composer cannot read music but has won several Oscars. He is not a musician and as everything is digital he composes all his music using computers.

[@NickC-Ohio]

7:16 > "In 2000, there were three sisters from Inverness who insured themselves against the possibility of miraculously conceiving and raising the second Christ."

[@annas9016]

3:02 "kkk kkk" Dangerous game on a conspiracy theory episode.

[@samiam619]

Just so you know: For some unknown reason, these people don’t count their yearly series by the year. They use letters. For example year one was “A”, year two was “B” and so forth. This series is series “K”. That’s it...

[@RYN988]

that "don't tell the french" crack was fucking brilliant!

[@ThatJohnStanley]

Stephen sort of reminded me of Peter Cook doing a bit in The Secret Policeman's Other Ball, at 3:24 "Did you know, you have 4 miles of tubing in your stomach?"

[@Sub_D47]

Love this. Love Stephen's Antics

[@luigiff3431]

It's really funny how in the Shakespeare episode, Stephen looks like he could genuinely be from that time

[@tygrkhat4087]

Bill looked rather Elizabethian as well.

[@redtwo006]

I think he might actually be in his Melchett costume from season 2 of Blackadder, or something similar. Can other viewers confirm or deny?

[@harrybetteridge7532]

New Shakespeare conspiracy this is when David Mitchell came up with the idea for Upstart Crow.

[@RevolutionMan]

Modern translation; "Secret" "Secret, innit" "Well secret, bruv"

[@matthewiles5714]

Sandy "Where's the most likely place to see a UFO? "Reading" That's my home town

[@Doivid_]

When you’re listening in the background and decide to see what’s happening in the video. So you open it and see Stephen wearing this: 10:35 😂😂😂

[@OreNoObentou]

But isn't Cosmic Top Secret actually a NATO classification?

[@informativt]

It is. Even their own website clarifies this.

[@fecnde]

Yup. Nothing to do with Aliens Or is it?

[@alexjones7043]

Bill bailey either had pink eye or was absolutely blitzed during the second clip

[@folkblueswriter]

Two beers...or _not_ two beers....that is the question. kzbin.info/www/bejne/jXq4qWiiqNVqqLM

[@Meta-Drew]

Above most secret is Ultra, that's what information that came from decoded encrypted enemy transmission (eg. Enigma) was called during WW2

[@bradyelich2745]

Ultra was created as a cover for the information gleaned at Bletchley. Ultra tried to blend all sorts of information gathering and then would slip in the decoded information from Bletchley. This was done to 'prove' to the Germans that the Enigma code was not broken.

[@lucysmith6530]

8:23 Hugh Jackman lulling off some real Elizabethan vibes!

[@KerbalRocketry]

that K episode is quite old, the classifications aren't that any more!

[@WorstChicken]

Ii is (not)most secret that Bill looks extremely baked.

[@Great.Milenko]

yeah his eyes are sooooooo red :D