r/AITA My Father-in-Law is a Child Ab**er

[@jeffreymadl3551]

Last story, I remember reading it. The dad would go into a HUGE depression spiral and tell the kids it was all because mom won't get back together with him. BUT he'd be completely fine and wouldn't be like that when he thought she was single. He just doesn't want her to have someone else and uses his kids as weapons

[@anionleader]

HOLY CRAP PARENTAL ALIENATION

[@MyFiddlePlayer]

They are divorced but he is heavily emotionally invested in OPs behavior and in controlling her relationship with their kids. He is a manipulative narcissist and the kids are still under his spell.

[@Human-kb6xc]

Story 2: I feel SO BAD for Liam. Literally all he wants is loving parents. He just wants parents who care about him and give him an adequate amount of attention. Now with a new baby coming, I'm sure Liam is going to feel like he's just going to disappear altogether. These "parents" obviously know nothing about their son/stepson if they believe he's a "quiet, nerdy kid" yet his brother says he is quite the opposite.

[@13thMaiden]

I know right? They literally didn't know he got onto a sports team, how freaking oblivious or neglectful can you be??? Liam might as well be living in a totally different house. Honestly if I was Liam, I'd kinda ask OP if I could crash at his house for a little while, if anything so I could collect my thoughts since things with those parents are just gonna get worse...

[@bibigamer502]

@@13thMaidenI have a gut feeling their super neglectful of him since they don’t give any sort of hoots about him at all

[@LunaP1]

​@@bibigamer502this neglect is intentional emotional abuse. Tori really is a loose bint that decided to use Liam as an emotional punching bag for her screw ups and OP's brother is just as bad for doing the same thing and completely ignoring Liam's activities and accomplishments.

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

The mother is just a truly horrible person and shouldn't breed, and the stepdad is a dim and callous knob.

[@mariafox9226]

You know the emotional neglect is bad when the SIBLINGS point it out.

[@emzkinz]

I know Reddit is quick to say divorce... but I think defending a child abuser is divorce-worthy. Like if they have kids, the wife will definitely bring the kiddo around a child predator. And that child would probably become his next victim. Part of me wonders if the wife was also abused by her father...

[@corroded]

Came to say exactly that. I'd not be comfortable around a person like that, it only takes one mistake, planned or otherwise, to end up in this situation.

[@asmith8692]

Very likely. I have molestation victims in my family. Creepy uncle who "helping" babysitting my sisters and cousins.

[@frootsnacc6790]

Also, and I don’t like casting stones like this but…I wouldn’t feel safe being around someone who willingly defends a person who disrespected boundaries and consent. It would make me question what their views on consent are

[@Lovuschka]

Or if she participated in abusing her sister...

[@ajanija1590]

"Part of me wonders if the wife was also abused by her father..." I suspect everyone saw Mary as a sacrificial lamb - father abused Mary, so he didn't abuse other children. They were safe because she was hurt and now they try to downplay her suffering because they don't want to admit they accepted it for their own good.

[@LizzieShiro]

The defense towards the pedo father in law is very similar to the ones I heard from my family defending my pedo grandfather on my dad’s side. “He was in a bad place” Uncle. He was 45. Grandma was 15. Fuck no.

[@strawberry_shortcake8077]

That's very concerning, you okay? 🥲

[@susangrande8142]

😱😱 AAAAHHHH!!!!

[@ProxiProtogen]

HELLL NO WTF. BY TIME YOUR GRANDMA WAS 50 HES 80

[@tamsel814]

My dad's family simple refused to believe any of accusations and insist that nothing happened. Me and some others went no contact over it. Some people will do anything to avoid the truth.

[@amierith]

Similar in my family. My great aunt and great uncle. He was 24 when they married. She was 14. She talked about how he r-worded her repeatedly, starting on their wedding night. She was scared and climbed on top of a dresser to avoid him after the wedding, and he "got tired of waiting" and ripped her off. They stayed married till the day they died, and she and the older women of the family defended the man. I never talked to him, and I never allowed myself to be alone with him.

[@dracko158]

Story 1: Being m*lested, especially by your own dad, is something that can NEVER be forgiven, EVER, even after 2 decades. You know how much emotional scarring the dad caused? I don't know what the wife is on about here, but OP needs to run the hell away, NOW. This wife is delusional if she thinks it's okay to let a child m*lester to be around their future kids, I'd be reevaluating my marriage with this woman if she thought forgiving a child molester is okay. NTA.

[@warrenrhinerson6373]

I’m sorry that happened to you

[@GlitterC8k]

This happened on both sides of my family. Wives stayed with them. Heck, my grandma blamed my mom and was jealous of the attention she got. Makes me sick that most of my family still sides with these horrible men (both of my grandpas abused at least one of their daughters).

[@bistestander]

This would be instant divorce territory for me.

[@davidwatson6202]

This not to mention just because they say he hasn’t done anything does not mean he hasn’t nor want try anything. Very rarely do molesters change not to mention he never faced repercussions so likely wasn’t deterred from trying again. 🤮

[@Magavynhigara]

Im sitting in on the 3rd spot to this, My wife was molested as well. It took years before she came to me about it but there were some red flags i didnt quite catch in the first year we were together. We have a child now and it kinda dug up a few buried memories for her.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Last story: I believe I read an update which OP came clean to her kids about their dad’s bs but they didn’t care. OP has come to terms with this as well.

[@Sorchia56]

That’s sad. The kids will regret it one day but the damage their father and they, themselves, have done is massive. I wish OP all the happiness and a beautiful life in her new marriage.

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@Sorchia56they’ll likely regret it when they realized their mom left them nothing in her will.

[@goldencyclone4984]

​@@lorilancaster5917They'll likely regret it beforehand. Now that their father doesn't have the convenient target of their mother to place every drop of blame on, he'll start doing it to them instead.

[@chocodraws5137]

I wouldn't worry too much, based on what the dad was like, I'd say the original poster will have the last laugh in the end

[@sabrinahendershot3513]

I hate how every time a teacher messes up or overreacts, people are like "but they don't get paid enough" we know they don't get paid enough but that doesn't make what they did right.

[@VicGeorge2K6]

Using poverty wages as an excuse for doing a sucky job at teaching is pathetic. You want better money, you should have chosen a more lucrative field to study for.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Getting paid peanuts doesn’t give someone the right to be an AH. Otherwise imagine the liberties food service workers would have

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

Maybe they’d get paid better if shitty teachers didn’t clog the education system

[@ShadowTaipan]

I'm sure that kid gets paid so much more than she does, so she's allowed to abuse him. /s

[@chrismerrell7957]

Messing up and overreacting doesn't seem to quite catch the full picture. The fact that she shouts at children and is known for being particularly loud and aggressive kind of suggests that this is someone who likes to use their authority to intimidate children, which is abuse! She needs to be taken out of the school, this is *not* acceptable behavior from someone who spends 7 hours a day around children! Screw her wage!

[@BeatlesPlotagonShow]

There’s an update to the last story. OP told her kids everything her ex husband did to her in their marriage, and the kids called her a liar, so I think most likely, the dad badmouthed OP over the years. The relationship OP has with her kids is over and they’re not going to the wedding

[@abiean222]

i feel so bad for OP, but there is nothing she can do. she should have been honest from the start, but OP is a better person then her ex

[@undrhil]

If she is still being honest in the stories, then she should not have waited 11 years to tell them all the truth. The oldest should have been told as soon as they turned 18 which would have only been 4 years from the divorce. And that would have minimized any effect that the father can be having on them. But I have seen so many custody cases on Court live streams on KZbin that I am jaded against mothers

[@Mathijsvand]

I honestly feel like there's some information missing there. It could definitely be the dad setting their kids up against her, but it could also be possible that she cheated. "He was a great father, but a terrible husband" gives me potential cheater vibes. Though we don't know enough about the situation to know for sure, of course!

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@Mathijsvandeven if she cheated, it doesn’t justify her exes manipulation.

[@shlibbs]

​@@undrhilmy parents were like this. I didn't get told the real reason for their divorce until I was well into my adulthood. I also believe 💯 that one parent (or both as my case was) was bad-mouthing the other. I still have issues with my parents today because of it.

[@BenKonosky]

Detention story: Teacher didn't punish the original kids, that's why she doubled down and she wishes she could punish OP for calling her out.

[@lorilancaster5917]

It sounds like teacher has a hard time staying focused if she fixated on punishing a kid for being startled over a group of kids acting out in class.

[@3InchesofLove]

I hate teachers like this. So stubborn and willing to dole out punishments for such nothing things.

[@Succubus_L0li]

​@@3InchesofLovethey don't get paid enough so they tend to vent their frustration at kids because once those kids grow they wouldn't remember it at all

[@sabersz]

@@Succubus_L0li as rSlash went through, that's no excuse for such shitty behaviour.

[@chaosstripe9446]

​@@Succubus_L0lithat last part is definitely not true though. I still remember how much my 5th grade English teacher was a dick to me because he was mad at not getting his contract extended.

[@Spax086]

Nothing more they could do for Mary? Meanwhile she has to endure seeing him everyday, have everyone act like it's nothing, and possibly have it happen again?! Plus she's basically shunned out of the family?! Nothing they can do for Mary now that would ever be enough!!!!

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

She’d probably be able to recover from her trauma if her family actually supported her

[@black1917]

@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 or left her alone

[@EsotericRavenclaw]

Story 1: I know there is a lot that goes into someone defending a parents behaviour on that level, but I wouldnt feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone that is willing to excuse that. Gross.

[@lorilancaster5917]

I hope OP gets out and hasn’t gotten his wife pregnant. Unless there is evidence, the court would only have Mary’s word if she testifies which won’t be enough for the judge to grant OP sole custody.

[@TJDious]

OP1: NTA but you will be if you have a child with this woman who admittedly will not protect your child from a known abuser. He'll I think you'll be the AH if you stsy married in the face of her continuing to excuse her dad's behavior. Unless... anyone else's Spidey sense telling them OP's wife was also a victim and it just never came out?

[@TJDious]

OP4: NTA. You are a parenting hero.

[@ElleD308]

Not just willing to excuse, expecting you to shut up while they put your kids through that horror. OP doesn't need to put a pause on having a kid, he needs to divorce that woman and leave as far away as he can.

[@superphantom100]

@@TJDiousthat’s a good point maybe she doesn’t like to talk about it.

[@MisuzuPM]

Dude in the first story needs to RUN, not walk, to a divorce lawyer. They will justify and enable him to abuse any children he has in that family, and even if they never have kids, you don't want to stay in a family like that.

[@scxiao]

Story 3; "teachers don't get paid enough to deal with this" is such a bullshit excuse in cases like this one. IT'S NOT THE KIDS FAULT THAT YOU ARE UNDERPAID, DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON THEM!

[@thanos8077]

Exactly that ain't their problem

[@jennifermerritt1848]

Yes this is only for when the teachers deal with entitled kids and parents and bosses

[@Bubu-tg6ul]

so true!

[@evantreffinger2009]

Honestly if that’s the way she treats the students then she’s probably getting more than enough

[@Azulakayes]

That friend is making a clearly fallacious statement. Just because a teacher doesn't get paid enough doesn't mean she has the right to abuse her power over students.

[@Giganotus]

Ok. The second story. Emotional neglect is extraordinarily harmful to the human mind. ESPECIALLY a child's mind. Humans are social animals, so social that loneliness can cause us to get sick and die because of all the stress it causes us. We NEED social interaction in some fashion. That poor kid is so needy because he's unbelievably starved for attention and affection! I don't blame OP at all for calling that out.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Maybe the nephew can stay with him? I know he’s a minor but he’s being neglected and emotionally abused. I don’t think it’s enough for CPS to be involved but with brother and gf expecting I’m sure they don’t want social workers poking around.

[@bibigamer502]

@@lorilancaster5917I have a feeling they much rather continue the emotional abuse then give him any attention

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@bibigamer502I know. At first I was implying that OP could scare them into letting nephew stay with him by mentioning how CPS wouldn’t like to hear how he’s treated. Then I realized OP could get in trouble.

[@black1917]

@@lorilancaster5917 Then just report it to CPS, this is enough to get them watching.

[@callmewolf3910]

In regards to the teacher trying to punish Preston for being startled, I think you should take it a step further and report her to the school board for BULLYING A CHILD

[@Sanodi21]

Fifth story, NTA and there were a couple of updates after Rslash recorded. First was basically OP was letting them make their choice and was either willing to fix things if they went or just cut it off if they didn't. That the pain she was feeling wasn't worth it. Second update was her then deciding to just lay everything out for them, including stuff from the divorce and they still called her a liar. She then sent everything she had and basically said she was officially done with it all.

[@DrgnLdyLizzie2001]

Have a link?

[@Sanodi21]

@@DrgnLdyLizzie2001 I don't think I can do links in the comment section but I followed it by using OP's username. But it's still the same post as the original.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Last story: that's easy R/, the answer is they've been manipulated by their father for 10 straight years that they don't know how to think about their mom. If she was a terrible mother they wouldn't have cared if she was getting married, or if she goes to their weddings. Dad played the victim so well that it's second nature and they probably don't know the full story about why she divorced him.

[@Justice237]

Apparently even after she DID tell them everything they didn’t care, called her a liar, and they’re not attending each other’s weddings

[@lordhelix2760]

Imo even if op was a terrible mother, it's still wild that the father after 10 years needs consoling, meaning clearly there is some form of emotional manipulation

[@Bubu-tg6ul]

exactly!! its exactly like this. he used his kids to get pity and get back at his ex

[@bibigamer502]

@@Justice237 they only want their dad to be happy and their mom to suffer

[@VicGeorge2K6]

"He used to be a CM, but he isn't any longer." Well, even if he was supernaturally delivered from being that, I still wouldn't trust him to be around anyone's child, even his own grandchildren. OP is NTA, but the wife is TA for defending her father. Honestly, I'd just divorce her and find someone else to father a child with.

[@QuietChaos1996]

Maybe OP's sperm knew what what going on before OP did. Because I think his sperm was swimming AWAY from the egg. 😂😂😂

[@SasoAkasuna]

Screaming at how OP's wife has the gut to call literal child abuse "family drama" 💀💀💀

[@vexfilms8807]

Honestly she deserves to be in hell.

[@alinasanchez278]

One word. Denial. She so in deep in denial that she doesn't want to believe that her dad really did that to her sister.

[@levanielmidoriya5701]

In that first story, don't you give that woman your baby batter!!!! She's a danger to any kids she has in the future. Her dad can obviously manipulate her in ways that make she her think sexual abuse is okay or forgivable after a few years.

[@horseluver4ever623]

*batter

[@levanielmidoriya5701]

@@horseluver4ever623 ah, ty, imma edit now, I get words like that swapped all the time 🤣🤣

[@horseluver4ever623]

@@levanielmidoriya5701 All good. English is stupid

[@goldenrose223]

Baby batter 😭😭😭

[@GlitchyOnAChair]

baby batter.. casual geographics is that you?!

[@jarodsmith1408]

In story 5, OP gave an update saying that she hid the reason for the divorce from her kids so as not to tarnish their relationship. But she showed them the proof, but the kids didn't believe her and still sided with the dad

[@louise8551]

Did she explain what it was?

[@jarodsmith1408]

@@louise8551 I'm guessing you're asking if she said what the husband did. And I don't believe she said what he did, just that she told her kids

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@louise8551I think she had proof of his direct abuse to her.

[@louise8551]

@@jarodsmith1408 ok

[@louise8551]

@@lorilancaster5917 That would be a good guess and a too sensitive subject to share with strangers.

[@smorphous8928]

Story 1: takes a lot of pride for someone to defend a child abuser, but being married to someone who is defending a child abuser can literally ruin your reputation, I’d say get out while you still can.

[@invisible123-l9d]

This is not about 'reputation', it is about keeping children safe. The fact that you value 'reputation' above child safety says a lot about you.

[@smorphous8928]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@invisible123-l9dit may seem like I am but your reputation is how others can perceive it. It serves as a credible signal to others that they can trust you when you interact with them. Especially if children are involved. A child’s safety is more important but if you’re in Ops situation (btw they’re both childless) that can ruin Op. being with someone who defends child abuse is equally as worse as people may perceive it differently. And if others strangers were to find out Ops married to a woman who defends it, it’s like putting water over a grease fire. Especially in today’s society.

[@SonjaUnapologetic]

Story 1: The dad is most likely still violating kids, he’s just being more discreet about it. No one should allow their kids to be near him.

[@ScooterBond1970]

Or, he still is, and they're just OK with it the same way they're OK with him doing it before. Gross

[@meggiemills3602]

As a victim of molestation from my own grandfather, I feel for the first story alot. My family ignored it. My aunts saw it happening and ignored it while recieving gifts from my dad constantly who left me in the family's care while he traveled for work. I was the scapegoat so their daughters wouldn't go through anything. My dad keeps asking me to forgive his dad after he passed. To move on. I went to therapy and learned to forgive myself. I will never forgive my grandfather or even my dad who didn't face him upon finding out.

[@nicholaswroblewski3069]

a lot*

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 3: teachers are also not getting paid to punish kids for nothing, so what's your friend's point. Something I'm starting to notice is that on Reddit is there always seem to be that one person that defends a terrible teacher always using the "teacher don't get paid enough to deal with this" excuse. I'm all for teacher getting fair treatment, but this lady wants to punish your son because he got startled by her yelling, that is ridiculous and I bet if you did go to the principal they'd say the same thing. Let's be real she probably got in her feelings about your son being startled by her voice because people have told her she's been too loud, and now she wants to punish him for it. Then double down when you understandably laughed at the stupidity of it

[@silverflight01]

Story 3: Honestly, the entire reason was dumb. Imagine punishing someone for being startled by your loud voice. How about NOT being suddenly loud next time?

[@lorilancaster5917]

That teacher sounds like she’s on a huge tenured power trip.

[@abiean222]

punishing someone for jumping at a sudden loud sound is like punishing someone for sneezing. just insane.

[@raarasunai4896]

Teacher is on a power trip and/or hates Preston for some reason. Either way it’s unacceptable, and I would say this is a hill worth dying on. At the very least, OP can get Preston away from a teacher who seems to be out to get him. At the most, OP can get this teacher away from the students altogether

[@dardarbinks3391]

I almost got kicked out of class in college for coughing when I was sick with a cold and grabbing for a cough drop 😅

[@juliehanson8976]

I have fibromyalgia and I don’t like loud noises, maybe Preston needs to see some one and be checked out for 1 of a number of reasons

[@apretzi9347]

Wow. I’ve never been able to resonate with a reddit post.. My family made me “talk it out” with my father and would get mad at me for having breakdowns in the house because of what he did to me. I know none of them believe me till this day.

[@dardarbinks3391]

I am so sorry you had that happen to you. I hope you are away from them now.

[@ferzinhaN]

Why are victims always expected to be the bigger person!? Like, the scumbag is there, not me!! Ei this hypocrisy or whatever it's called pisses me to no end.

[@Milk-ck1wv]

3rd story: The teacher doesn't get payed enough to deal with this? NAH, that child isn't being paid ANYTHING AT ALL to have to deal with such a trashy adult.

[@ShadowTaipan]

Not getting paid and not having a choice - that's school, unfortunately. Giving them shitty teachers might as well just be admitting "We love the tears of children!"

[@sassyghost_8]

It’s crazy how many teachers abuse their power because of petty ego trips. My mom and I can both get steadily louder when we get riled up (good or bad) and when one of us is told we’re getting loud we apologize and correct our volume. This didn’t need to be as hard as the teacher made it but that’s what happens when you take something as tiny as flinching personally.

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

She sounds like a bad teacher anyway so its paid too much.

[@neirgara2217]

"It is affecting her social status" - If the access to her parent's money affects her social status, that social status was not much to begin with and she needs to build a status that actually is sustainable by herself.

[@nor-alex]

I was looking for this comment

[@verngrl]

I mean, to her credit, it sounds like she is. Sounds like she went out and got a job on her own and is doing her own thing. Not saying OP is wrong, but sounds like she doesn't think she's too good for fast food work, since she's doing it.

[@neirgara2217]

@@verngrl It's mostly criticism on the mother who used that as an argument.

[@Succubus_L0li]

​@@verngrlthe thing is the kid believes that her getting the family job is her own achievement and from the story it seems that after months and months have passed the kid still haven't learnt her lesson hust yet

[@nor-alex]

@@verngrl As a 16 year old actively searching for jobs, it's just the fact that it's the easiest job for us to get. I have an amazing resume and referalls, yet I've been rejected from several different companies. Maybe her parents don't have connections (which is pretty much the only thing that'll get you a job other than fast food - otherwise you just roll a dice). It may just be that.

[@alliecourtney]

For story 3: i have ptsd and get startled VERY easily. Its not something i, or anyone can control. Has that teacher never been startled before? I jump if my roommate walks around the corner, or if the door opens when im not expecting it. If someone were yelling i imagine id completely shut down. That teacher clearly doesnt understand the basics of how humans act. If shes going to punish a CHILD for being scared, i can only imagine what she'd do to a student who makes a real mistake.

[@susangrande8142]

Yep; I startle easily too, for same reason: I was physically unsafe and abused as a small child. I can’t help my startle reflex.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 4: sounds right to me, you put her in her place and showed her that you will not pay for her if she uses those privilege to bully other people, and giving her a taste of woods like to not have people to mooch off of, maybe next time she'll think twice before disrespecting people.

[@lorilancaster5917]

Problem is that she’s too focused on the punishment that she’s not trying to see why she’s being punished. I’m surprised neither stepdaughter nor wife played the “you’re not her dad!” card

[@Fenronin]

nah we don't even know what that bullying implies in the first place but changes this dramatic can litteraly screw her life over forever

[@aurelia2132]

​@@Fenroningiving her an older iPhone, taking away her car, and making her get a job on her own merits can screw over her life forever? Nah. The kid she so gleefully bullied for being "trailer trash" seems to be pulling in way better grades with way less resources. Nobody's future is getting ruined by having an older model phone.

[@jack_stone]

​@@FenroninDecades ago she would've got her ass beat.

[@FlameOfDestruct]

That thumbnail is creepy af

[@Tayata342]

This

[@ansieengelbrecht4495]

Definitely

[@drbeeant]

Not a fan lol

[@Qtippy.]

yeah!! its currently 1am for me and i got jumpscared so bad 😭

[@BellaFalk95]

I jumped up a bit when I first saw it.

[@crashawashere]

Story 3: I have really bad anxiety and sudden loud noises can make me have literal panic attacks. If she had spooked me and then I got TOLD OFF and put in the hallway, then got detention just for jumping at something loud, I would've left the class and got someone to call my parents. I get that he's 11 and can't speak out for himself, I'm glad the parent is advocating for him. Absolutely NTA. Teachers do NOT got paid enough to deal with disgusting kids, but it really does not give them any sort of authority to BULLY an 11 Yr old because he got a little scared at her obnoxious-ness.

[@nychighl1ghter]

Story 1: HOLY SHT DEFINITELY NOT THE A-HOLE! DIVORCE THAT WOMAN IMMEDIATELY! SHE'S ACTIVELY DEFENDING A CHILD LOVER💀 -An SA survivor💜

[@Tortilla.Reform]

“Child lover” is a weird way to describe a pedophile

[@KadeStringer2.0]

Divorce isn’t going to solve nothing

[@nychighl1ghter]

@@KadeStringer2.0 yes but it puts off her ability to have children and probably saves those kids of what they might have to go through

[@Ironraven001]

@@KadeStringer2.0Divorce will keep HIS kids from being abused.

[@nychighl1ghter]

@@Tortilla.Reform is it really inaccurate though?

[@Reuraku]

Last story: It makes sense that the kids think this way since as OP said he's a good dad and only spiraled when something happened with the mom so the kids put together that there good dad stops being a good dad when their mom does something relationship related, so in their minds if mom doesn't date we have a good dad and they support him to try and keep him as their good dad. They grew up with this mentality and when you grow up with it it often sticks around in adulthood.

[@audreym3908]

I just hope the kids can go to therapy and realize that they were being manipulated to be like that.

[@Reuraku]

@@audreym3908 The kids did go to therapy, the issue is the dad needs therapy to get past his relationship with OP. I'm not really sure I'd call it a manipulation since it was more of an emotional reaction as oppose to something deliberate. Sadly it's ultimately a no win situation for anyone.

[@audreym3908]

@@Reuraku I meant them going back to therapy.

[@mwokozi]

@@Reurakuoh no it’s 100% manipulation to use the kids against your ex

[@threecards333]

The first story reminded me of something from my family. My maternal grand father passed away from cancer before my parents even met. So when i was a baby my grandmother remarried to a guy named Frank. My mother and aunt thought he was creepy so they investigated him. Come to find out he had SAed a step daughter from a previous marriage. My mother and aunt gave my grandma an ultramatum: Frank or grandkids. She thankfully kicked Frank to the curb. She was a wonderful grand mother to all of us afterwards and from my experience our family ended up just fine.

[@dubstiiny]

That thumbnail made my body take a damn screenshot 🤣🤣

[@popstel2286]

Lmao same. Legit jumpscare lol

[@survivedandthriving]

In the story with Liam, I hope that if OP has the ability to do so that OP makes a point to be there for Liam, even if it is 'just' to go to Liam's games, make sure to talk to Liam at family gatherings, etc. We know that children living with abusive parents/in abusive homes (and emotional neglect is abuse) benefit from having even just one adult in their lives who cares about them and is a positive influence in their lives. I hope that OP is able to be this person for Liam (and OP is still not the butthole even if this is not possible for OP to do).

[@mythking541]

I'm only at Story 3, and I'm already noting how each story is convincing me more and more to be very strict when finding a potential significant other to one day marry and have kids with, if I choose to. Cause these parents are assholes, at best.

[@LunaP1]

And abusive, psychopathic narcissists at worst.

[@swector_unit4257]

Well, not on Story 3. The daughter needs to learn a lesson from bullying. Props to OP, and let's just hope it doesn't become a rise to a shield hero plot with the oldest being a manipulative B and the youngest being the responsible mature 12 year old.

[@JerziTBoss]

I don't single apology can fix what the father did in story 1. He needs to be on the list and he shouldn't see any kids at all. OP's wife was seriously manipulated/groomed/gaslighted into treating the whole incident like just another day in the office when in reality Mary's life was seriously damaged. I hope OP doesn't have kids with this woman.

[@MusicGirl881]

Story 2: NTA and I hope OP continues to be there for Liam and continues to let him know that he always has her even though he has a asshole sperm and egg donor. Also while what OP said is harsh I agree with her if they didn’t want “needy” kids then they shouldn’t have had a kid. I guarantee years later the brother and SIL are going to be whining and asking about why Liam no longer wants anything to do with them.

[@sk8ergrrl1]

Last story: I found this story in Reddit and there’s more info. In OP’s comments, she talks about how her ex-husband never helped her with anything, and basically treated her like “a personal bang maid” (her words). She also says in her comments that he was unreliable with seeing the kids after the divorce but regularly tell them how depressed he was and how he wanted to kill himself. She basically updates the story saying that she told her kids how their father was a horrible husband but they don’t believe her and she’s basically done with them. Tbh, regardless of the cause of the divorce, it’s been over a decade. OP should be allowed to move on and their father shouldn’t be emotionally manipulating his kids out of spite.

[@matthewmfreeman1235]

The last story about op who divorce her ex-husband is that the ex-husband is talking trash and about his ex-wife and the kids are just eating it up and agreeing with their dad about everything he says about his ex-wife

[@DeanDraxon8752]

“He doesn’t do it anymore!” Yeah, because Mary’s not a child anymore ☠️

[@assyle2004]

Out of all the thumbnails in the world, you choose the creepiest one

[@davidjacobs7465]

Story 3: get local news involved, spread the news on social media yourself and if they proceed with suspension or expulsion, maybe get small claims involved. Be damned with how little they get payed, this is about justice.

[@OG_Cool_Cat]

Story 1: This is grounds for divorce. She WILL endanger any child you have together. Don’t even run the risk of her getting pregnant and leave immediately.

[@moxyalternis2016]

Story 1: Op... It's not worth it. My mom knows my step dad sexually abused me and refuses to believe it. Keeping my brother in the same house as him. It boils down to "denial runs in the family" and you can't change a stubborn mind when in denial. Sure she makes sure I never see him again, but she's still married to him.

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

“Mommy why does grandpa touch my private areas?” “Don’t worry sweetie, he’s just in a bad mental space. He loves you and there’s nothing wrong with that”

[@MusicGirl881]

Story 1: NTA OP grab your things and run for the hills. The wife has been groomed to think that a grown man molesting a child is okay and there is no doubt in my mind she would be okay with the same thing happening to her own kids.

[@gutentagdoggo2094]

Rslash, as much as i love your videos, these ai thumbnails are terrifying

[@yabe-kfptentacultist]

It feels more photoshopped than ai... still scary regardless

[@shadowmewfred09]

The real issue isnt having kids it's the fact that Jessica is defending a child r***st with sucky excuses and victim blaming, what kind of example would she be setting for her own kids in fact i wouldn't let her near any kids unless she changes her opinion because it'll be straight up dangerous to have her around.

[@Juzokinnie]

I wouldn't even give her a chance after that. That's instant divorce territory.

[@lpfan4491]

If someone close to me went at me with that attitude, I would nope out of there as soon as possible. I believe in redemption for anyone and everyone, but one can't just live something like that down in that way, especially if it happened in the family. "You are being too judgemental. We shouldn't even just 'give it a chance', we should trust that person completely with no condition." Absolutely mental stance.

[@amberagarand1437]

The hallway is traumatizing and shouldn't be a punishment. As a teacher I only use the hallway as an option they can ask for as a quiet space or a reward for finishing early and they can play games out there.

[@michamocha]

Story 1: Yeah, this is definitely a divorce situation. Either Op will divorce, rightfully so, for his wife defending her disgusting father or the wife for Op not seeing her way. This relationship sounds like it's set on a course to be doomed unless someone changes their stance. Last story: Considering that Op said her ex spirals everytime she dates, it's not hard to figure out why the kids side with him. This definitely sounds like parent alienation to some extent with the father using the kids to bully Op into either staying single or getting back with him, whether it's out of spite or his entitlement for her.

[@Mithandune]

To last story, there are 2 updates: Update: I realized I am okay letting them go, I can’t do it anymore. I sent a texts it is up to them if they go or not. If they do go I have hope to fix this relationship if not I’m just done. I can’t keep playing this game. It’s for everything, anytime I have something good his feelings have to come first. I can’t do that anymore it hurts to much. I could tell them everything he has done but I don’t feel like blowing up their image of him. Update2: someone private messaging me convinced me to lay it all out for them, so I did. Well I got my response, they called me a liar. Even with showing old screenshot that were in our divorce case I think it is over. Thanks for everyone that tried to help. I known this was a no win situation

[@phoenixashes0013]

Christ rslash sometimes I work out at 5am. That thumbnail face made my booty clench 😂

[@linola644]

The story 3 sounds like a nightmare to me, I have PTSD and even just a movement in the corner of my eye that I wasn't expecting makes me jumps and my heart stop. It's never fun to be scared out of my skin all the time like that, so being punished for it on top... 😬😰

[@neon_cats]

whoa... Jessica is fucked up! good on OP for saying ABSOLUTELY NOT to her

[@Ilovepointlessstorys]

She was very clear in that last story. She left her husband and her husband had a break down a huge meltdown. The kids blame the mom for it. He got better and found out she was dating. He start to spiral down again. Kids got mad at her for doing that to their dad. She’s getting married once again she’s hurting their dad. That’s why they’re mad at her. They don’t see her happiness. They see their dads sadness

[@HoplooWare]

Man just can't resist the call of conjecture

[@kortknee22]

Okay it’s pitch black in my house right now and the thumbnail actually horrified me

[@toriistorii6939]

One of my siblings has a friend in a similar situation as story one. The friend's dad *insists* she have a relationship with her grandpa, who used to (does?) ass*ult her. It's absolutely disgusting, and I hope for her sake she goes low/no contact with those men when she's able

[@Nerobyrne]

"It's effecting her social status" Ah well now she knows what it feels like to be at the other end of the stick. Just desserts, to be sure. If only all parents did stuff like this.

[@ControveryDisturber]

Yeah, she's super minimizing a massive issues, especially when reoffending rates for m*lesters is about 50%, 30 years out.

[@wmdkitty]

It's more like 100%, they just learn better ways to hide it and silence their victims.

[@therealDeaddogg]

Story 1: The amount of hoops that the wife is jumping through is unbelievable. She’s not just a clown, she’s the entire circus. And then some

[@rowerewolf]

Listening to story 1, my first thought was that the wife believed her sister was making it up, which is something that could happen. But she acknowledged it happened, and doesn't care? Disgusting.

[@andrewjustandrew]

I adopted my first dog on Sunday but we had to give him back on Monday. They did not know enough about him and he hurt me pretty bad. When they picked him up they said that he clearly wasn’t ready to be adopted and that they should’ve socialized them more. I’m not giving up, I’m still looking for one but this has been one heckuva journey so far…

[@JRKonungrinn]

OMGS, that's terrifying. Maybe you should go to a different organization to adopt.

[@andrewjustandrew]

@@JRKonungrinn I definitely am looking! I want to get a little snorfer before winter sets in too badly… I get really depressed.

[@lb34mwr]

Last story my friend who is a great mom had the same issue with her ex. Years later she found out he was lied to the kids about her and the divorce. He has an affair babies and that was why they divorced he said it was be cause she cheated and crap. Kids found out at his funeral they had 5 siblings.

[@mitchverr9330]

Detention story: Teachers being a dick, this means you can laugh at her. She is literally punishing a child for being scared of her effectively. complete and utter bruh moment. Teacher deserves more than a 1/5 butthole score imo, it sounds like the kid has some kind of issues regarding this sutff, punishing a child for being jumpy is not helpful, it makes things WORSE. I say this as somebody that was extremely jumpy as a kid.

[@JamesDavy2009]

Some commenters have speculated the child having autism or fibromyalgia.

[@misscat6055]

The last story sounds like perennial alienation. My dad pulled shit like that to my mom. He was a good dad but a horrible partner. It took me years to figure out that shit and it was a horrible thing to realize deep in depression and anxiety. My mom not once bad mouthed our dad until our 18th birthday. Instead, my dad was constantly talking ill of my mom and it did damage both relationships, it took a while for both relationships to heal. I didn't know who to believe and I didn't want to believe that my dad was in fact a shitty person, he was my role model. I only learned what happened thru my grandma and mom when I turned into a adult.

[@ariadnahoranpayne]

Last story: The fact that the kids see their dad suffer every time their mom gets a new bf is the problem. They link their dad’s mental health to what their mother does. Mom gets a new boyfriend = dad suffer. Dad is a great dad, so how could he not be a great husband? Then it is all the mother’s fault cause instead of seeing that she just divorced him. And looked for new boyfriends. Which now makes the dad depressed which the kids then blame on her. Again and again. The father is weaponising his mental health against the mom in this situation because he knows the kids will do anything to keep him from getting hurt, specially if he is spiralling too much Edit to add: check the post and just as I thought the dad was threatening to “end all” because of the mom dating other people

[@jameslove3860]

Last story, have a cousin who was in a similar boat, but he was one of the kids in the divorce, and his dad kept trying to force stuff into their heads about his mother.

[@Aetium]

it's really not surprising how the girl in the bullying story ended up spoiled. looking at how the dad talks about things it's pretty clear.

[@swector_unit4257]

Hey at least he is teaching her a lesson remember there is no such thing as perfect parents but, it would have been a different story if OP did nothing about it.

[@Aetium]

@@swector_unit4257 sure, I just find it humorous how OP typed out that post, and is shocked that his daughter is spoiled, the first few sentences make it clear how that happened. but yeah, good on him he's trying to make it better at least.

[@bethanyboarder7751]

@@Aetium You mean, entitled, right? These are 2 distinct things.

[@Aetium]

@@bethanyboarder7751 yet not mutually exclusive

[@tebthecat]

​@RazorStorm40 right? the way he said "necessities such as her own nice car"??? I'm in college, 1 1/2 hour drive away from home and I don't have a car. If I want to get proper groceries, I have to take a bus half an hour into town. People consider a car to be a necessity for 16yo teenagers, what? it almost makes me doubt OP was ever in poverty but... I like giving people the benefit of the doubt :v

[@animemenga125]

dang almost didn't click the video with how creepy the thumbnail was lolz

[@maieen2665]

*First OP:* Unfortunately, some people will excuse or defend family members' actions at the expense of others. OP said he was reevaluating having kids with his wife, but he should reevaluate his marriage to her. OP is NTA. *Second OP:* Maybe if Tori and OP's brother gave Liam attention instead of running from him (TF?!), then Liam wouldn't be so needy. OP is NTA. Apart from OP (and the niece, depending on her age), the adults in Liam's life failed him. *Third OP:* Yes, teachers don't get paid enough for their jobs. It's no excuse for them to go on ridiculous power trips. OP is NTA. SN: If I got in trouble for getting startled, I would've been expelled. *Fourth OP:* OP was right to punish her daughter, but selling her car? Overall, OP is NTA, but I wouldn't be surprised if his stepdaughter goes no contact. It probably didn't help her change her attitude toward her classmate. *Fifth OP:* I understand OP being fed up with her kids because of her ex. I also understand her kids being concerned for their dad because he likely manipulated and brainwashed them. Controversial opinion, but I'm gonna say N.A.H. except for the ex. I do wonder if OP's kids picked up on the pattern that their dad would spiral every time OP is in a relationship.

[@cardboard952]

yes story 4 i agree punishment is good but didn't he go too far? i feel like he could have banned the car for a few months instead?? and she seemed stuck up enough where just the phone downgrade would make her change?

[@chrismerrell7957]

Detention: Getting paid enough to "deal with the things [OP] said" implies that OP was being unreasonable, but this lady is the one going out of line. What behavior exactly is she trying to correct by punishing Preston? How much did his small jump affect the classroom? She sounds like she just has a massive ego and she is using her authority to assert dominance over *children*. I'd want her fired if I was in OP's shoes! I don't want some power tripping psycho asserting dominance over my children for 7 hours a day! Get her out of the friggin school!

[@mariafox9226]

Second story, poor kid. Emotional neglect is one of the worst forms of abuse. I hope Liam leaves ASAP and finds parents who love him.

[@apoorvak9399]

Story 1: what a twisted family.

[@Magspanda]

The last one I can relate very well. When I was 11 and I met my bonus mom, my bio mom constantly badmouth her and lied to my face multiple times about her and I ate all that up and hated my bonus mom. But now I’m 18 and my bio mom left me in the dust and I’ll forever stand by my bonus mom and my dad because they never lied to me or manipulated me in anyway. When kids are young they take in everything a parent/guardian will tell them and it may take months or years for them to realize what’s true and what’s not, and if hypothetically OP is innocent. It’s the childhood trauma of seeing their dad in that mental state and the bs he’s fed them that they refuse to doubt

[@jimmyrittmann8208]

Hot take- blaming the victim can be worse than the actual abuse.

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

A lot of victims of abuse would be able to recover a little if they actually got some support

[@jimmyrittmann8208]

@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 I fully agree.

[@josephgrube]

I actually agree with this

[@tamsel814]

Both of those hurt me severely, both in different ways. but the thing that hurts me most are people who insist that nothing happened or that there was nothing wrong with what happened.

[@jimmyrittmann8208]

@@tamsel814 I can't even imagine. To me, it would seem like the actual abuse is like a gunshot wound to the soul, but the lack of support would be more akin to slowly running out of air. Both potentially lethal, but very different sensations.

[@snake5solid]

The first story is so messed up. And I struggle to even be angry at the wife. She was probably abused as well but either doesn't understand it or she disconnected from it. There was a case in my city that both parents abused their 3 kids. It went on well into their adolescence. One daughter managed to finally break out from it at 17 thanks to some friends and school counsellor and the parents were arrested. Her siblings hate her because she "destroyed" their family. It's so horrible just how deeply abuse can go and warp the mind. But I agree with you. This is divorce territory. I could never be with someone who protects an abuser and would happily let that abuser around children. Even if they were a victim too. OP needs to get away from this.

[@sophianagel9455]

as someone who listens to these videos first thing in the morning, i am not okay after seeing that thunbnail

[@spartan_odinson7570]

*Story 1:* I was not expecting 5/5 across the board with the exception of Mary and hopefully OP. That's how you know just how *BAD* this situation truly is.

[@sayadiva123]

Dabney that thumbnail is horrifying…makes me wanna go home before the sun goes down and sleep with the lights on

[@TheSpaceKnights]

Story 1: Didn’t Rslash do a video where he read a story about how a sister found out her sister, the one exiled from her family, was Molested by her father, and she wouldn’t get over it. I remember listening to that story a few times and thinking it wouldn’t come up again. Is it possible that this is the same family?!?

[@yabe-kfptentacultist]

Do you remember which episode he covered it? No need to link it since KZbin don't like links, I just need the video title.

[@TimBurtonPrincess]

I think it's called "R/EntitledParents You Won't BELIEVE What This Family Did To Get Arrested!"

[@alphadron4073]

Thanks, that thumbnail will haunt my dreams today. I guess I needed more reasons for sleep deprivation in my collection. (You have a talent for finding bizarre faces, I am amazed)

[@xuyahfish]

Last story: there are many studies that show children consistently blame mothers in divorces, even when the father has abandoned them. They blame the one that stays, the obe that is most nurturing. Mothers aren't trash receptacles nor are they constant care givers to ppl that are supposed to be PARTNERS, not another big baby.

[@thenarrator9204]

The last story sounds like an innocent mom who doesn't know how to combat the ex's emotional manipulation tactics. Unfortunately, if you don't start off with telling them the reasons for things, they don't have time to see the truth. The father has already built-up a pretty concrete story that will be hard to rebuff now. The ultimate test for any kid in that situation is to not believe the parent and see their reaction. An emotional abuser will take their time, but eventually blow up completely if it goes on long enough.

[@dardarbinks3391]

Facts!

[@dardarbinks3391]

Then they will run back to their mom begging for forgiveness after seeing the dad's true colors.

[@Jess_IsCringe]

Story 3: "Teachers aren't paid enough to deal with that", but they're paid enough to bully kids? That's what this is, she's bullying a scared kid. OP is in the right (0/5 BH), that teacher has some serious issues that need to be addressed which may stem from insecurity (2/5 BH because she lashed out at a kid) or a power trip (3.5/5 BH), and the friend needs to step out of the bubble she's in and realize even victims of systemic issues like bad pay can be bad people (1/5 BH).

[@purplepuddlesuwu]

Literally just anted to drop it to tell you that your thumbnail scared the hell out of me! 😭

[@Coolhand118]

I have a feeling that Liam in the 2nd Story is being parentified because of how many kids the brother and SIL have and since they’re having another kid, Liam’s going to have to take care of him, he started to cry. I might be reaching but I really hope they’re not parentifying him otherwise.

[@dardarbinks3391]

That's exactly what's happening at home unfortunately. You can tell because he's quiet and reserved at home popular at school and outgoing. I was the same kid, very quiet and reserved at home and myself at school. Luckily though my parents didn't have that many kids.

[@audreym3908]

It sounds like Liam is the middle child not the oldest.

[@Ahrpigi]

Story 1: I'm not sure if Jessica and her brother deserve a butthole score, or if they were groomed as kids to accept their father's excuses... And potentially even victims themselves. Her panic talking to OP might indicate she's trying desperately to repress something extremely awful and traumatic. ☹️

[@VicGeorge2K6]

I still would divorce her if I was OP to keep myself from fathering a child that would become her father's next victim. Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me.

[@Ahrpigi]

@@VicGeorge2K6 at a minimum she needs major therapy, and adding a kid to that family is definitely a hard no.

[@survivedandthriving]

As an adult survivor of all types of abuse, including CSA, one painful, incredibly unfair, lesson that I had to learn was that even though NONE of what was done to me was my fault, ALL of what I do now is my responsibility, including healing and moving on past the abuse. Jessica was almost certainly brainwashed to be the way that she is. But, she also 'benefits' by siding with her parents over Mary (and apparently even over her own, future children). By shunning Mary, Jessica loses only a 'bad' sister but gets to keep her parents and her brother, and also to join the others in having a convenient scapegoat in Mary for all of the woes of the family. Jessica is unlikely making these decisions consciously. But she is an adult and is responsible for her decisions, including deciding to give ongoing support to a child-mo!e$+er. I hope Jessica gets therapy and gets her stuff together. Maybe OP leaving her will be the incentive that she needs to get help. But, I suspect if/when OP leaves Jessica will, at this stage, decide she 'is happy to be rid of that bad husband' and keep right on as she has been all along.

[@Ahrpigi]

@@survivedandthriving I agree completely and I wish I'd specified Jessica is still responsible for her actions going forward. I was thinking about it as though she'd not been forced to confront this in herself before, in which case now is definitely the time for her. One stranger to another, I sincerely wish you as much peace and healing as possible from those past experiences. 🫂

[@survivedandthriving]

@@Ahrpigi I agree. It is such a difficult and unfair situation for adult survivors of abuse. The brainwashing is real and to overcome it often means to lose the only family that someone knows, and toxic or not, that is a difficult and terrifying choice (especially when our society has so many 'but they're family' type of enabling messages). Often it takes something fairly substantial to prompt that type of change. I agree too that before now, Jessica has never been forced to confront her situation. I am hoping that discussions with OP might force the issue and prompt her to get therapy and work through the mess that is her FOO. But, I fear that she might have to hit a harder rock bottom before she faces up to it - her family is likely to rally around and demonize OP so removing the need for Jessica to deal with them. This stranger says thank you to you stranger :D. I am doing well these days. I had lots of therapy and hard work, went NC with much of my FOO and now have a contented life with friends and chosen-family. I am content. I wish all good things for you too.

[@sourisvoleur4854]

Last story: her getting married is "doing this to dad"? For god's sake they're divorced. She's not responsible for his moods.

[@DarkEinherjar]

Last story: it seems to me that the ex never got over the fact that he was dumped and made sure to poison the kids against OP for years.

[@bibigamer502]

And the kids ate it up like it was Turkey and Stuffing on Thanksgiving

[@Musicalsfangirl]

Yeah, maybe he’s an ex because he was controlling and now that he can’t do that to OP anymore now they’ve split, he’s trying to control her through their kids. Doesn’t say if he’s been dating since the split, but I’m guessing not and he’s bitter about him not getting dates and she is.

[@bistestander]

Nevermind the fact Preston could have sensory issues and might literally be unable to help but react to a loud noise

[@Bearleyburied]

Story 2: yeah teachers don’t get paid enough to do whatever it is they do (I don’t really know, all my teachers have ever done is shove books and papers in my face and make the teachers assistant grade them and monologue) but they are apparently paid enough to be huge crybabies and petty power trippers like yeah they should get paid a lot more maybe if they were teachers would actually act like they like being around children.

[@zefiro6829]

I swear that his thumbnails are mundane for, like, two days and then get creepier every time.

[@KHTimeProtecter]

Dabney! Gods! That thumbnail is not something I was expecting right after waking up!

[@Lestaticate]

Last Story: Hopped on here to see if any viewers knew if there was an update. Sounds like while OP chose to take the “high road” and let her kids have a relationship with their dad, her ex spent 20 years badmouthing her to the point where his word was absolute. I feel bad that OP is going to live the rest of her life without her children and future grandchildren in her life. There’s literally nothing she can do. I also wonder if things go sour for her children’s future spouses, would they take the same route as their father?

[@brianmckennon9460]

Hey rSlash, you need to do a bonus compilation video of your past "5-out-of-5 buttholes" AITA

[@InterstellarNoa]

I am watching this video asap just so the thumbnail stops appearing in my feed. I watch all of your videos while I work so they get recommended immediately as you post them. But oh my god this thumbnail terrified me and I know i cannot stare at it for more than a few seconds. Literally had to put my hand over the screen to select it without seeing it