r/AITAFiltered | Like AITA but ACTUALLY GOOD [2]

[@lowkeylola88]

first story, i agree no one is really the asshole. pregnancy is hard, one of the most difficult things a woman's body can go through. no woman should have to suffer in silence. being absolutely miserable during your pregnancy needs to be more normalized and women should feel safe to express that. it doesn't mean you aren't thrilled you are pregnant. it is so stigmatized for a woman to express her suffering and this needs to be talked about more.

[@its_amarysso]

Yeah but it should be encouraged, its better to be positive, not being happy whit it maybe could lead to more post partum depression, when they try to kill themselves or kill the baby

[@krona3528]

Agree. It's also easier to get help for negative feelings during and after pregnancy if we normalize having these feelings. I feel like it was a little insensitive of the group to be asking in the first place knowing they had someone there who could be triggered by hearing about someone else's pregnancy. It's not all sunshine and smiles, nothing in this world is.

[@SparklerBlack]

@@its_amarysso tf are you talking about? you think suffering in silence will make this person less depressed? pregnancy literally KILLS one women every 90 SECONDS, its literally thretening your life actively for 9 months, and you dere to say "its better to be positive" ??? like would u tell that to a depressed patient? because thats pathetic and the last thing that can help anybody.

[@eileen58]

@@its_amarysso I think the most common thing that leads to postpartum depression might be guilt. Feeling guilty about not enjoying things more and thinking you're alone in these feelings. When no one validates your feelings it can feel isolating. Faking a positive attitude towards things is not healthy.

[@CloverDemeter]

100% agree with you. I feel like more people need to understand "yes, and" situations. You can be happy you're pregnant and separately, be miserable about the side effects. The two ideas can go hand-in-hand and don't have to cancel each other out. I do think in general, when complaining, it's important to consider your audience (for example, it'd be inappropriate to complain about your kids being unruly to someone who had just lost theirs), but she already admitted it had slipped her mind. It seems like it was just a really unfortunate situation and timing.

[@Zullala]

I totally understand the birthday food girl! I would hate it if someone took me out to such an expensive place, especially after explaining that I don't feel comfortable in that situation. It would really make me feel unheard and frustrated. I personally have a lot of anxiety surrounding money. I would probably cry or at least feel like crying do to stress if I was in her situation. I would have probably still ate something just to be polite... but I understand why she didn't. If she ate it then they might do it again, especially since they didn't listen to her the last time she discussed her discomfort.

[@Fireprincess161]

Not to mention she's said in the past that she didn't want to go there. They're really just ignoring her, aren't they.

[@TobeEvans]

@@Fireprincess161 OP stated their parents had said they wanted to go there. I think this day was more about them than OP. OP was just the excuse.

[@Scrinwaipwr]

If you ask a woman how her pregnancy is going, don't get upset when she talks about how her pregnancy is going, whether or not she says she's having a crap time. The person who asked her is the arsehole if someone talking about pregnancy is so triggering for this woman without ovaries. Unless they didn't know.

[@AgarthanExecutioner]

Honestly I think her sister is the asshole for asking her in the first place, especially if it's known that one of the friends struggles with infertility. OP would have been fucked no matter how she answered. If she lied and had said "oh yeah lmao it's all rainbows and unicorn farts for me 24/7!" then she'd still get wrongfully attacked. It was a lose/lose situation :/

[@awright119021]

@@AgarthanExecutioner right and I think it's a huge overreaction to run off like that. I say that as someone who is also infertile. It definitely hurts me somewhere deep inside when I'm reminded by anything baby/ pregnancy related, but I'm still capable of being happy for everyone else. I would never expect or even want anyone to censor their conversations for me. On top of that, I definitely think hearing about it in a everything's rainbows kind of way would be worse then hearing how horrible it is.

[@lunarixis9957]

@@awright119021 Late here but it sounds she excused herself pretty politely, so I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all

[@crystalgemgirl731]

Thank you!

[@bucketts6148]

I’m glad you’re covering AITA filtered, because I have found that they are actually interesting instead of being kinda obvious. Also as always love the content.

[@fireofdawn3515]

I only use AITA for advice in cases where im actually not sure

[@mat-ts2mb]

I know. Half of the stuff on AITA is absolutely nuts. Like, "AITA for yelling at my husband for killing my mother?"

[@__TK___]

Most of the stories from AITA are obvious stories where OP is NTA

[@laraantipova389]

@@__TK___ it’s also one person’s side 1/2 those people probably are TA if you heard the other person’s side.

[@dwoktheraynejonsohn4849]

The first one is NTA. She answered a question truthfully and did not insult anyone. The friend is justified in being upset, but it is not justified to say OP's an asshole for talking about something very big that is happening in her life, which falls under the acceptable umbrella of responses to "how are you doing?"

[@radhiadeedou8286]

She's NTA in the first part of the story, when she was made aware of the friend's infertility and she was like "not my problem" she became very much the assh0le. Any normal person feels sorry when they mention something someone in the group is sensitive about

[@cynister7384]

@@radhiadeedou8286 Honestly it's not her problem, and I would've responded the same; the sister could've just said "Friend has infertility issues, you know?" it probably would've just ended with an "Oh, I'm sorry", but she didn't. She immediately called OP an asshole and went to argue with her.

[@TobeEvans]

@@radhiadeedou8286 no. She absolutely not responsible for anyone else’s feelings. She answered the question she was asked. That’s it.

[@OingoDeLaBoingo]

I think for the last one it's really down to this: it's stupid to try and spend that much money on someone's birthday as a gift without making sure that's what they want to do. I understand they wanted it to be a surprise but that's a lot of money to spend as a surprise all of a sudden. Also cuz op and their partner didn't even have enough money to move out on their own, it does seem like a lot of money that could have been put to better use. Like yes it would be cool if OP was more appreciative, but it was for OPs birthday and it isn't even remotely what they wanted. Hard to decide on a full are they the ahole or not, but that's my opinion. Just ask people what they want for their birthday, they'll tell ya.

[@dolst]

I'd like to add to that, the parents said they had wanted to go to that restaurant for a while. So it sounded almost like they were just using her birthday as an excuse to go to a restaurant they wanted to go to anyway even knowing that she wouldn't. Surf Wisely.

[@vuivraalbastra]

@@dolst Exactly. The birthday person was a bit passive aggressive, but they are the only one I feel sorry for in this story. The family used OP's birthday as an excuse so they have a good time regardless of OP's wishes and feelings. I don't think they deserve any gratitude from OP for that, they messed up OP's birthday, it's that simple.

[@CheyenneNKStone]

Idk id stick with the everyone sucks that the sub landed on. It's a bit different because of the amount of money and the situation therly are in. But it's not like they didn't think about what she would want at all. She likes I've skating. So they went ice skating. And then they just wanted to go for a nice dinner. It's literally my birthday and my dad bought me a black Forest cake. I don't like it that much, but I thanked him and ate it because he bought me a dang cake and it was nice of him. My grandma also insists on paying for our dinners and it makes me uncomfortable sometimes because because she's not exactly made of money. But it really makes her happy to be able to do it once in a while. Sure, it's her birthday and people should really think about what people actually want (and yes ask them). But you're already in the situation at that point. Your family, is at least trying to do something nice and you're just going to tank it make sure it's a miserable day for everyone. You could have at least tried. Maybe ordered something cheap like an app.

[@reidtedsnoekross2645]

For post 2; its totally stupid to spend upwards of 1k on food. If you want an expensive meal, theres tons of smaller local joints that wouldn't mind you bringing a party of 9 for dinner and it would still only be like 2hundy tops where as here, they're activly financially stuggling. Her, as someone who doesn't eat much and who is opposed to people spending much money on her being forced to go to a fancy resurant that her dad and boyfriend obviously just wanted an excuse to eat at sounds horrible! The whole thing feels really gross. My family has this thing we call a Homer Simpson gift. It's were you buy something for someone else that you really want for yourself. Like when you get a family member a video game you wanted to try, or buy your wife kitchen utensils you know? this is an absolute homer gift, and the husband should have known better then to try and force his wife to be someone that she wasn't for the sake of feeling cool, rich, or important. On her birthday no less!

[@WeyW]

Was looking for this response, agree 100%. They just wanted an excuse to go there themselves, despite knowing OP didn't want to go.

[@dymnix7133]

With the last story, there's the common saying that when it comes to gifts, it's the thought that counts. To me, it seems the family did not think about the gift well enough. OP mentioned that the father and husband expressed wanting to go to the restaurant in the past, and that OP said she didn't want to go there. So I get the impression that they decided to go to the restaurant because THEY wanted to go, and they were just using OP's birthday as an excuse to go. I don't think OP had the responsibility to be courteous. Imagine if you tell your friends that you hate skydiving, and they decide to take you skydiving for your birthday as a surprise. Would you be courteous? Would you just go along with it? Sure, a dinner is not nearly as extreme, but the same principle applies. She made it clear that she doesn't like spending excessive money, so why take her to an expensive restaurant? OP is NTA.

[@AntiSoraXVI]

Birthdays are usually more about the people celebrating for you honestly. Idk if that’s just my perspective or maybe it’s just stuff I put up with thinking it’s normal, but people loved organizing shit for me more than I ever enjoyed the birthday (even if it was exactly what I wanted). Also your example is wild lol. No I wouldn’t go skydiving, but if my friends wanted to go with me to a concert for my birthday (despite knowing that I don’t like crowds) I’d go. As I see it, they wanted to give me an experience I usually wouldn’t have cause I’d just stay in my bubble. I’d respect that and go In OP’s situation, I saw her as being very unnecessarily difficult and that her and her bf seem to be too different. I can’t say she’s the AH. I understand her perspective. I just think it didn’t need to be that big of a deal

[@ellealine4159]

@@AntiSoraXVI I wouldn't tho. I think my birthday is the one day in the year that I'm allowed to be selfish and do the things I want without having to think about others (without being too selfish and forcing people into stuff ofc)

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

Thank you, you put my thoughts in words so well. I also kinda agree on the skydiving thing, im also intorvert and hanging out with several people will already exhaust me. Balancing that with being forced to do something I hate while pretending to be greatful... id be a wreak after at best. And sure, thats life, but on specifically my b-day id like to be allowed to be genuinly happy

[@pinkanimositygaming]

I come from a family of cheapskates. My bf does not. So he does a lot of grand gestures for me. Bc of my upbringing, I feel very uncomfortable about ppl doing things for me. But we talked it out bc we communicate. Communication is key to a successful friendship, relationship, etc.

[@AntiSoraXVI]

@@ellealine4159 I dunno how you ever get out of the feeling that you’re being selfish lol. Maybe I need to learn your ways cause I hate having any kind of focus on me at any point. I deliberately don’t mention my birthday a lot and never blame anyone for forgetting cause I don’t really care about it or like the attention. My friends have kinda accepted that my birthday is the only day I’ll accept having my dinner paid for/the only day I’ll accept gifts (yeah, christmas does not count). Basically I never like being selfish, and I’m just glad I have people I care about that want to spend time with me, even if it’s something I wouldn’t usually do.

[@psixi2668]

Definitely agree that the first poster didn't do anything wrong: she was just going about her day as per normal, and it was nothing more than unfortunate circumstance that the other woman was there and also the type of person to be extremely sensitive on that topic. I would actually call that an oversensitive reaction, but I also don't believe anyone can be blamed for how things affect them either, and she is valid to experience that situation that way. But it's not reasonable to expect other people to tiptoe around her without having prior knowledge of her sensitivities; my close friend recently lost her father, but I'm not going to start suddenly tiptoeing around her, and never mention my own dad, or never complain about my dad around her because of it, right? and she wouldn't want me to. _(actually now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that's one of the main things i whine about, because my dad moved out around the start of the rona and my parents divorced, so I'm usually groaning to her about how much I'm dreading having to call my dad or go see him. But I try to treat her just like a normal damn person.)_ All in all, it's just unfortunate circumstance. Neither OP nor the infertile friend is in the wrong; maybe the sister is the only real ass for berating OP about it, but I can also see her just being upset for her friend. Still, OP has 100% the right to go home and expect support. She's going through some really difficult stuff.

[@AntiSoraXVI]

I should’ve read the comments first so I don’t repeat things lol. I mostly agree with and her feelings are valid, but after OPs explanation that should’ve been the end of it… it seemed like both the sister and the one who was infertile didn’t accept that so I lean more towards both of them being antagonists. We both talked about complaining about dad’s to people who lost theirs so I’ll also add that I lost all of my grandparents. My parents had me very old so their parents were already on their way out. I didn’t get to have as many memories with them as I would have liked and none of them got to see me graduate highschool. I don’t think I have the right to complain to the people around me for bringing up their grandparents. Sure, it’s a bit of a sad reminder, but their situation has nothing to do with me. I feel like it’s almost narcissistic to try and turn the conversation to yourself. That being said. I get it and some situations are different. Mother’s who went through miscarriages were forced to work in the baby sections of their stores or were told to come in on Mother’s Day. That’s brutal…. I just think the situation in the post is a major overreaction

[@GetSoupedSoHard]

Tbh i can't really blame the friend either, some topics just get to you and it wasn't like the friend was flipping out herself. Excusing herself was probably the best way to deal with that topic. Without trying to be rude, you still need to be careful with some topics around some people. I'm glad your friend doesn't have a problem with you bringing up your dad ofc, but sometimes tip toeing might be the most considerate thing to do. For example as someone with a ptsd, i need friends and family to tip toe around certain topics just so i don't have an episode. Just as a heads up.

[@extremelyhappysimmer]

i thought this was gonna be her talking to a friend she knows is infertile, but its her going to her parents house! thats her home. i dont think op is in the wrong.

[@d.w952]

I don't think it's fair to call the infertile friends reaction an over reaction. Unless you've been in that specific situation how can you know what sort of pain that brings? I do think that the friend could've removed herself first or that OP could've waited or pulled the sister aside to be honest, but really you can't control other people's reactions and unless you completely understand their POV you can't call it an over reaction

[@psixi2668]

@@d.w952 Oh, of course! I never meant to suggest it was an overreaction in the sense that it was invalid or anything: it just seems that way from the outside, but no one has any right to say how she should be feeling. I fear I might've come off too harsh towards the friend: I don't think anything about her reaction was wrong or less than 100% valid. It's natural she might react that way and she was the right to do so. I just don't think it's on OP for bringing it up, even if she'd remembered, since it's not necessarily obvious the friend would react that way and be so pained.

[@Geospasmic]

Pushing something one someone you know they wont like and being angry that they don't like it pushes my buttons.

[@Cman04092]

Story 1: Not the A**hole. It's just an unfortunate situation, but that doesn't make you an a**hole.

[@kiwisweet5520]

for the birthday party situation, the day was supposed to be about the birthday girl. her parents and husband went out to eat for *themselves*. i understand completely why she would be upset by that and i don’t think she owes it to her parents or anyone to participate and pretend to be happy about something that was such a miss lmao.

[@SeightJam]

Yeah but she was straight up kinda petty about it

[@thethiccestboi7648]

She was still being incredibly petty about it, flat out refusing to just have fun with their own damn family

[@72horses75]

We don't know if it was for themselves because we aren't them, they could have just been blinded by the fact that they think of that as a great birthday present for themselves so maybe they thought she would love it too. She was being petty in the sense of going out of her way to not touch a single food item, not even the free one to as much as possible get her point across that she was not happy with it. That is the definition of petty, but the parents are also at fault for not thinking a bit more into it and considering that she had issues with money and food.

[@AmazingAutist]

No, the husband wasn't just using the time for himself. He wanted to do something nice for the person he loves, and while he did drop the ball it must've hurt for her to not even participate.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

@@72horses75 Literally they dad and husband went on about always wanting to eat there, did you skim over that?

[@milkyway8976]

Seeing a few comments about how the last one saying she's introverted isn't a reason for not ordering food. And you guys are right, it's not. But that's not what she was saying. The not ordering food had to do with not wanting a hundred dollars spent on her for one meal. She mentioned being introverted in relation to her family complaining about her not wanting to go out much, which was during the conversation where she outright told them she didn't want to go to the restaurant. She didn't say being introverted is why she didn't order anything.

[@TobeEvans]

Yeah. Even later on she talks about how she has PTSD and starved herself for a long time. I don’t think people understand the effect that really has on your stomach (it makes your stomach physically shrink) and your body’s ability to send out proper hunger cues. It changes you physiologically. And the anxiety wouldn’t help very much either. Not to mention her family and spouse just blatantly ignored her so that’s enough of a valid reason for her not to want to eat.

[@PinkCatsy]

I think with the story about the job - the issue is clearly more that they've prioritized this new job over their relationship. I don't think it really matters whether they're being taken advantage of or if the job is good - the husband seems to be using the job as a way to vent about the relationship. It seems like the job is more important to them than their husband honestly and I think it's more important for them to consider that and the implications that has on their relationship, especially when their husband is clearly not okay with this.

[@js7934]

It seems like that story is missing details and that their communication is really bad. Starting a new business is hard and time consuming, maybe more-so than OP realized and probably more-so than OP's husband understood when OP switched careers. It sounds like OP has gotten really swept up in the new career because she didn't like her old one and is enjoying this one. I don't think it sounds like purposeful neglect of their relationship, but I'm guessing OP's husband has been growing more upset for a while and not saying anything. I think it really boils down to just bad communication between them, including the sister

[@Rowankeenanx3]

See this is where i think details matter because for most hetro relationships its okay for men to prioritise their jobs over relationships so i want to know wether she’s actually living her dream like most hetro men or if shes being a door mat

[@PinkCatsy]

@@js7934 yeah this is why if it were me, I would ask her to consider the potential implications of that and if that's really what she wants to do. And then discuss that with her husband.

[@PinkCatsy]

@@Rowankeenanx3 I mean this doesn't matter to me but also I don't think she's a bad person if she's prioritizing her work over her relationship. A lot of people in the Reddit thread seemed to presume that that's not something that she wants to do - but maybe it is. But it's not something you should be doing unconsciously.

[@Rowankeenanx3]

@@PinkCatsy thats why for me more details are needed. I think couples should be able to both live their dream if they’re truly compatible, i just also think it’s expected for a man to chase their career even with risk and a woman not to and a lot of the thread thinks shes more stupid for doing so than if she was a man

[@ghstgvts]

The first situation sounds like a lose-lose. Nobody’s really in the wrong but all sides could have benefited from a bit more tact and understanding.

[@MissIsley]

The dad and husband both agreed it was a place they wanted to go. It seems like they used her birthday as an excuse to have the experience they wanted. Mmmh

[@jazmyntaylor4187]

I don't understand how 1st post could be the AH, they literally asked her how she was doing was she supposed to just not answer?

[@BerryTrekkin]

Yeah I agree with story 1. I am infertile and it’s difficult to be around people who are pregnant and have kids. Almost all my colleagues have kids and talk about them a lot, and there’s been two pregnancies in my office during my time there so far. One was a first time pregnancy with twins and every day was about her symptoms, asking questions about parenting, discussing her concerns or excitement - just every conversation was about her pregnancy. Even when she wasn’t at work, people talked about her. Some days I was fine and could join in, but other days when I was struggling with my mental health, it was really difficult. I confided in a couple of colleagues I’m close with when they noticed I seemed off sometimes, and they offered to talk to her and ask that she tone it down. But I asked them not to - my struggles weren’t her fault, and this was one place she felt able to open up and get support from other mums (plus share her excitement) and I didn’t want to take that away from her. Keeping silent and ignoring pregnancy isn’t going to stop a baby appearing, or make me less infertile. The mum in the story should be able to talk freely about her pregnancy with family and not be shamed into silence, especially when she was asked how she was. Disliking pregnancy doesn’t mean she isn’t excited to me a mother! On the other hand, her comments were unnecessary and she would’ve been better not saying anything to this friend - that’s probably why she was voted to be the AH.

[@Pidgeyatwo]

thank you! It's baffling seeing people calling sister's friend the AH when all she did was remove herself from a hurtful conversation. Like. Be mad at the sister for getting onto OP, sure, but that friend didn't do anything wrong. So many people are acting like the friend went scorched earth when she didn't do a thing. It just rly sucks.

[@stickshiftsteph9968]

as someone who never wants kids, but who can very much get pregnant I find it exhausting when people complain about the stresses of parenthood/pregnancy. However in that situation, I can sympathize with OP. People asked her how she was doing, she was at HER family's house and like you pointed out, that this was the last time she was seeing her family before giving birth. Although I can't relate, I don't think either of these people were reacting from a bad place, but nobody should have blamed OP either.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

Maybe you can't sympathize with the person struggling with infertility because you don't want kids

[@Oujibug]

@@radhiadeedou8286 no one is upset with the infertile woman? They’re annoyed at everyone blaming the pregnant woman. Someone else’s infertility is not nor will it every be the responsibility of fertile people. Period.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

​@@radhiadeedou8286 Fuck it, why not blame all the women of the world with their perfect bodies being able to reproduce at that point? Sounds like you're projecting to me

[@luvely1062]

I think nobody is TA in 1st story is, I agree with Cue. Like, your pregnant, around your sister and family. As long as your not making everything about you suffering YNTA. The woman came to her sisters house, and if she is so sensitive the sister should have told her the pregnant sister will be there.

[@thegrandtickler2907]

If she just started ranting then yeah she might be TA but she was ASKED how her pregnancy was , whoever asked her should be under scrutiny for asking that question in front of L

[@lalaya5972]

@@thegrandtickler2907 I thought the same thing. Like how is she going to be upset when Op answered the question honestly. Like sure it sucks she can’t have a kid, but that doesn’t take away from op answering truthfully and saying how it’s been hard for her. Theres no asshole it’s just a real lose lose situation:/

[@KRO-222]

Agree that #1 wasn’t in the wrong. Someone asked her how she was doing and she answered honestly. The follow up was less than tactful, and I feel really bad for L (the infertile woman) but no real antagonists here IMO. ETA I feel bad for the bday girl in the last one. There are clearly deeper issues going on here than the money, sounds like she had some serious mental health issues. Honestly think she’s mostly NTA in this case.

[@psixi2668]

The whole "not eating" bit (especially how she describes it almost as a determination) feels a bit vengeful, and I can say that because I'm a bit vengeful in the same way and it's a really bad trait. It's the anger of being disregarded and "mistreated" in some way (ex. being forced into an uncomfortable situation), and it's extracting vengeance by purposely making sure other people get to see you not enjoy a situation while conveying to them how it's their fault. It's a pretty toxic way to handle things, but it comes from helpless anger and it's really hard to control (at least for me). HOWEVER, I also really understand food being a huge source of focus and eating as a highly sensitive activity, and I believe it's really important to clearly convey how big a deal it is for you, and duely, that other people acknowledge and respect that. This is a really hard scenario to judge from this vantage point, because we can't really tell if OP is exaggerating how well her family knows while actually having never made it clear to them beyond passive-aggressive behaviors, manifesting a lot of ill-will towards them, or if it's her family maliciously ignoring and disregarding her preferences. Something about the way they write makes me feel OP doesn't want to try looking from her family's perspective, just looking for validation and vindication. Either way, it sounds like OP has some underlying, potentially unresolved issues of their own, and they respond to certain situations abnormally as a result, and her family probably isn't fully aware and equipped to deal with it. Personally I believe your issues are your own to learn to deal with, and you're not entitled to force them onto others. But also it's kinda pretty rad if the people in your life try to show their love by- y'know- actually analyzing things from your perspective and doing the stuff that you'll enjoy. Still, all in all, I think third OP needs to learn some communication skills and healthy methods of dealing with emotion. But that's just my gut feeling.

[@Zullala]

beautifully worded! totally agree

[@purplekissy]

I mean if they have an eating disorder they might have struggled with it even if they liked the surprise.

[@mustangthings]

She sounds like a colossal pain in the ass, but, her family/husband should have known better.

[@ledarbyromeo9667]

Totally agree!

[@ledarbyromeo9667]

She does sound like a pain in the ass, but doesn't intentionally do things to cause drama or to hurt anyone. 24? Still could use some growing up to get outta that self-centered mindset. Yes, you have issues and the fam doesn't do much to make it better, but atleast they try cause they love you.

[@dyrewolfrm]

Does the "Business with my sister" story sound like an MLM to anyone else? 🤔 High income potential + Long hours + no money + quit your job = MLM right? And her word choices sound like MLM Mom Memes

[@kristinehansen4665]

Was my first thought. If its an mlm I fully agree with the husband if not I don't see any reason why she shouldn't work hard on something that brings her joy.

[@ivansgirl144]

The second story; my Spidey sense tells me her sisters job might be mlm-ish

[@chillinsquirtle]

If she is getting paid I would doubt it. You usually spend way more on an mlm and rarely get paid

[@ivansgirl144]

@@chillinsquirtle hmm, true. The fanaticism for the work she demonstrated made me wonder though.

[@ethanmarino8518]

Loving the frequent uploads cue. Hope you’re well, thank you for helping me get through difficult times. Stay hydrated

[@ButterMeUpScotty69]

For the last story, I can relate to OP in a lot of ways, I don't have a baby but we're the same age and my partner and I are trying to save money to buy a house. I am also an introvert who does not like attention or having money spent on me, in a similar situation I went out to a sort of fancy restaurant for afternoon tea. I was so uncomfortable because I didn't know half of the table that I didn't eat. I felt weird that I was there and uncomfortable the whole time, which sometimes can make me nauseous so I didn't eat. So I feel for OP here bc I get it, her family should've been more aware of this so I don't think she's TA but I understand her guilt and how it effects the vibe

[@Bable13]

For the last story I definitely think 0P didn’t do anything wrong I definitely think that they were a bit more stubborn than they probably should’ve been but I also can understand where they’re coming from mainly because I have similar symptoms to what they go through ( as in with PTSD and eating disorders and not wanting people to spend money on them) because not wanting people to Buy stuff for them is a very obvious thing throughout the years like this is not a new concept so their family must’ve known about this for a while but still chose to go ahead with this also OP trying to save up to move out with their new child that also must’ve added onto the feeling of don’t spend money on me please especially from OP spouse

[@imaginarynerdfriend]

First two stories, right on the money Cue. First OP walked into a bad situation and second OP spun the story in her favor, omitting details. Third story though, even if OP was a tiny bit of an antagonist, she was justified. It was her birthday, and there were MULTIPLE previous occasions during which her husband and father learned what not to do. No surprises, no big spending. And yet, they pick the restaurant THEY want to go to and make it a surprise. How did they now know how that was going to go? Sure, it would have been nice of her to suck it up, but she had every right not to.

[@72horses75]

A lot of these things are things that family forget or dont consider how big of an issue it is, because they are not in your head 24/7, and sometimes these details get forgotten. It doesn't make them an asshole, just human. About the "chose it for themselves part" we Don't know that, they could have just been blinded by thinking that since they would love some extravagant meal for their birthday that she would love it too. You shouldn't go assuming what people's intentions are. I don't believe op was entirely justified in her petty behaviour, due to the vibe that she said she practically challenged herself not to even take a bite of even her free food just to get as much of her point across as possible, which can easily ruin a mood and is unnecessary. Communication of her frustration in a more mature and less spiteful way is much better, but its understandable because she too is a human being and also considering her previous issues with eating and maybe other issues that remained unresolved. I know this so well because This is something that I do occasionally, trying to most show my frustration with something through unecessarily petty means which just brings the mood down entirely and is unecessary.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

@@72horses75 Victim blamer. Every time I've seen you comment about the birthday one it's "Well maybe thefamiy forgot" they had 24 years to know that shit wouldn't fly and Dad and Husband planned the birthday and had said on numerous occasions before that how they wanted to go, don't delude yourself mate they did that dinner for themselves

[@pahvi3]

Presents and such are so awkward between family members who live a completely different socioeconomic reality. It's truly uncomfortable and also sad to receive ridiculously expensive gifts that also happen to be completely useless, when you have to scrimp and save. Those kinds of gifts are often well-meaning, but simultaneously tone-deaf, and lack situational awareness and even empathy. Even worse is the fact that such gifts sometimes are transactional, in the sense that the giver may feel a sense of entitlement to gratitude, despite of being completely unaware of the reality of the economy of the receiver. A gift giver should therefore always keep in mind the economic realities of the recipient, and maintain a certain humility about the appropriateness of gifts, and remember that we can't read minds and thus gifts sometimes go wrong. If it's truly an act of appreciation for the recipient, and of kindness and empathy, the act will also be non-transactional, and not entitled. As a recipient of a gift you can't always be honest about how much you like the gift, but you'd better remember you can't be bought either, and you're allowed boundaries, like not participating in a type of activity you've specifically told you don't like.

[@catfish513]

Damn you’ve been uploading a lot! Love the vids just hope you don’t get burnt out from the workload bc it’s so nice to have you back

[@corbinbrier0]

The first woman wasn't an asshole at all. Just because someone is infertile doesn't mean they get to guilt pregnant women. I see that crap too much. I'm basically infertile, and I think it's ridiculous to shame people who are pregnant who are suffering during their pregnancy because you have your own issues.

[@100percentdead]

I agree, my best friend is infertile. I live with my sister who has a baby and I'm always sending pictures and videos of my nephew to my best friend. My mom was concerned that I was making my best friend feel bad because she can't have a baby of her own, I asked her about it and she said she adores my nephew and loves that I send her pics and videos. If she mentioned that it made her sad/uncomfortable I would have 100% stopped but she always reacted so happily. 1st lady was NTA, if her sister mentioned she was upset by the pregnancy talk but op kept talking about it anyway then she would be TA

[@jmoney7289]

Absolutely correct, she simply wanted to invalidate the feelings of a pregnant woman who's actively suffering through pain, while you're only reliving the reality that you won't be able to go through that even though you've Known your situation for as long as you've been aware but instead of adjusting you simply use it as a sympathy card and to attempt to validate yourself and seek validation from people such as the sister who is the actual antagonist. There is no room for friends like that and I'd have gone so far as to tell her with an attitude like that it's a good thing you can't reproduce. Sorry for the run ons I just have strong feelings against people who thinks it's a sympathy competition when someone is explaining how they feel

[@Lillypop93]

Ditto I too am infertile and if she can't handle pregnant people being around then she needs therapy not for people to tip toe around her. For me it's like "Get the F*ck over yourself" life sucks deal with it or get help.

[@AriaAmm0]

Man I wish I was infertile kids terrify me when their young like I have no idea how to support a babies head and I have 11 siblings

[@corbinbrier0]

@@AriaAmm0 I'd ask your doctor about tubal ligation or even a hysterectomy if you're adamant about not having children. It might be hard to find one but I'm sure there is one out there who'd considering the latter. It sucks though since most doctors won't do those unless you've had kids or a husband. But best of luck to you if you go through with that one day! Kids aren't for everyone.

[@sianchild]

"I want to clarify that I have never been pregnant" made me laugh.

[@jmoney7289]

As far as the first one goes. I'm completely on her side even the comment about not being responsible for her infertility. You do not have to censor yourself of expressing your feelings just because someone else isn't capable of being able to go through such things good or bad.... Your feelings are valid and so are hers however you both have the right to express your feelings I'd go so far as calling your sister the antagonist for blaming you completely for her friends inability to accept her situation and put her feelings aside and be happy for you.

[@---fq5yv]

I agree with you, I really don't think she should have been voted as the asshole

[@vuivraalbastra]

Exactly. Both the pregnant woman and the infertile one acted normally (though it's unclear to me if the infertile woman started fighting with OP later on or if she just removed herself from that situation, that might change my opinion about her). But the sister is an asshole for invalidating OP's feelings just because her friend has a different kind of pain. Also what did they even expect when asking a pregnant woman about how is she doing? Even if she said she is doing fine and she's happy it could still have been painful for the infertile friend since she is not able to experience that. Pregnancy is not really a topic you can avoid in this world anyway and OP wasn't malicious in her answer, she just defended her right to express her feelings, even with the last comment.

[@huntsman9316]

Why are you on her side about the comment? The friend excused herself and she was still an insensitive jerk for no reason. If she didn’t say that comment, then I would have been on her side. But sorry, being pregnant doesn’t excuse you for being terrible person to be around

[@huntsman9316]

@@vuivraalbastra the Infertile one did not start fighting op. Op just decided to yell at her even though it was the other woman who she’s mad at

[@corymorrow5329]

@@huntsman9316 this is kind of long: if you are getting attacked, being called an asshole, that situation would obviously get pretty tense, so i don't know why you're unable to understand that everyone is human, we all say shit that's not always nice, but bottom line is she shouldnt have had to deal with those kinds of responses when she was just trying to be honest about what she's dealing with, I do get what you're saying, but being infertile is something she just needs to accept and learn to move on from, pregnancy is always going to be a topic that gets brought up every now and again, and while the pregnant girl was trying to be open about how tough things are for her, the infertile one just kind of made it about herself by making a scene running away so the others would only care about HER being in pain

[@chesneywhite9334]

On the birthday dinner, it felt like they went to the restaurant more for the husband and father than OP. OP mentioned that they had been talking about it, and that they knew all the reasons OP wouldn't want to go. It almost seems like they did what OP wanted to do first to get them in a good mood and then they dropped the bombshell.

[@deijix]

“Sorry I ran outta breath there, I’m super fat.” Dude I’ve never heard a more relatable sentence on KZbin. Sometimes I forget I’m fat and try and talk a whole paragraph in one breath and then I have to do this awkward pause inhale and then keep going lol.

[@DrFishsticks]

Thank you for covering this subreddit! I had issues with the first subreddit and made my first AITA filtered subreddit today!

[@AntiSoraXVI]

As someone who cannot be pregnant and am on the outside looking in, I’m gonna change it a bit to a situation I think is similar and one I think more people can relate to (feel free to disagree): Picture me complaining about my dad’s (I’m gonna say mild for the sake of argument) emotional abuse and someone else runs off cause their dad died about a month ago. I’m sorry, but my situation has no effect on you and yours. Why should anyone walk on eggshells about their *own situation* around you because “many people would love to be in your position”. Personally? I think that’s bs. I can *understand* being hurt, but getting mad at the other person for bringing it up is shitty when they were deliberately asked how they were doing

[@72horses75]

Some people are just overly sensitive to topics that hit close to home, so anything could set off intense emotions especially when it comes to pregnancy and children. She probably felt that the pregnant woman was taking her being pregnant for granted and that she didn't have the right to complain about something she could never have, which is quite entitled especially when you kind of enforce it on others. It indicates insecurity in those areas and is up for the person who is having those feelings to deal with it, not the other party, she wasn't the "asshole" until they continued to antagonise the pregnant woman for it.

[@Pidgeyatwo]

the infertile friend didn't get mad tho, she just excused herself. It was the sister who got onto OP. Not the infertile friend. Sister is the AH imo. The friend didn't do anything to OP and in return for removing herself from a stressful situation (as a mature adult should), she got an emotional slap to the face with the last comment. I was 100% on the OP's side til she went after the innocent party

[@andrewmorris9383]

Cue is like the mailman - he always delivers

[@purplekissy]

If I was trying to move out of my parents house and my partner spend a bunch of money on something they know I didn't like and specifically told them so, I would be pissed. But I would enjoy the dinner and then discuss it with them in private. There isn't a need to air all of your issues infront of your family.

[@mariap.4232]

The one about the job... clearly there's not enough information but I wouldn't be surprised if this business was an MLM

[@OpticalArxenal]

I'm terribly introverted and also don't like people using money on me, but OP did not come off as just introverted. I get having problems, really, but they also seemed resistant o compromise in any way with people who seemingly just wanted to try and help them have some nice experiences. Especially when they mentioned the husband saying that OP never wanted to do anything with them, just stay at home. The ptsd for the not eating thing...yeah I can see why they'd be so resistant, but it seems a little too self-aware to not be a bit asshole-ish, since they also said wanting to get better, but still just rebuff people making effort to help. That, to me, is not introversion. They're being stubborn.

[@Draftsman_MC1300]

Yeah, the doing it on her birthday bit I understand, but it definitely sounds like she is extremely uncompromising when it comes to anything she finds remotely uncomfortable.

[@merounelorelei2951]

@@Draftsman_MC1300 Yeah, I got the vibes that she's not incredibly fun to be around. I'm not an extrovert by any means, but that's just unhealthy to me. She seems genuinely unable to compromise and the husband's words were concerning to me. yeah doing it at the birthday was wrong but it seems to be a symptom of something she made for a very long time.. she's so uncompromising..

[@TheCaptainFatBelly]

She isn't being stubborn at all. She made it clear that she does not like surprises and money being spent on her, and her family and husband knew this already. The 900 dollars spent could've been spent in a more productive way, especially if OP and her husband are saving up money. At the end of the day, it's her birthday, so it should be her decision to do what she wants. Within reason, of course. And what she wanted sounded more than reasonable. She isn't the AH, her family and husband are.

[@OpticalArxenal]

@@TheCaptainFatBelly OP also mentioned they wanted to recover. By their phrasing it doesn't sound like their family is aware that it's caused by ptsd and might just think it's guilty conscience and want to help. OP has mentioned nothing else in regard to their family's behaviour. There's a lot of missing context to make a proper opinion, but what stood out to me most was what OP said about their husband being disappointed in *general* that OP never wanted to do anything. Just rubs me the wrong way. If anything, the AH isn't just one person, but I think it's somewhat complicated and mitigated by the high likelihood of people just not talking with eachother properly. If OP has done theirs, then I question why they married and procreated with the person they did, 'cus they seem mismatched.

[@Draftsman_MC1300]

@@TheCaptainFatBelly we agree with you on the birthday bit. What we are discussing is the broader subject of what her husband says, which indicates that she refuses to compromise when it comes to spending money or going out in general to an insanely unhealthy degree. Her comments about her therapist also suggests she hasn’t seen a good therapist and doesn’t actually realize what she’s doing is unhealthy

[@Cman04092]

Story 3: not the a**hole. Jesus f**k, $900 for dinner? I would turn that down too, unless you have 18 fricken people. Especially where you just had a kid, spending that much money is just crazy.

[@icrissa]

No A-holes in the first story. I feel that the friend would have been upset no matter op's answer. The sister said she shouldn't have complained but if she said she was great and loving pregnancy then she would have been bragging, and that's "bad" too. The friend didn't make a scene, she just quietly excused herself which I feel is an ok reaction. Sister should mind her own business.

[@christineloeb3180]

These AITA videos are so good. And I love the outro!! More music please

[@rubes3915]

For first story my judgement is: no assholes here. Well, the sister maybe a little bit. If I was pregnant (which I probably will never be due to personal preference but we can pretend) and I travelled home and was asked about how my pregnancy was going and then told that what I said was insensitive, I would be pissed. OP isn't at fault here and neither is OP's sister's friend. I'd say sister is mostly at fault. Let's assume that it was sister who invited her friend over. Why would you have your infertile friend over and then ask your heavily pregnant sister how her pregnancy is going? OP is most definitely not an asshole for telling the truth. Like I said, I would too be very much pissed if I was asked a question and then called an asshole for telling the truth. I mean, why did they even invite the friend over if they knew pregnancy was a sensitive subject? And why'd they then ask about the pregnancy, knowing that the answer might not be positive? But, yeah, the friend isn't an asshole for reacting the way she did but if she started to call OP names afterwards, that would make her an asshole. We don't know who said what, though. For second story my judgement is: no assholes here/we need more info. Like you said more information is needed here. Husband's reaction seems understandable and so does OP'S reaction. Asking someone quit right there and then seems a bit rushed, though but I don't know. For third story my judgement is: Not the asshole. I can't understand why OP's family would choose such a surprise if they were fully aware that she absolutely hates eating out especially if it's expensive. And it was very expensive too. Like christ, the dinner was over 900 dollars. That isn't small money for dinner. They could've picked something that doesnt cost 900 dollars. I mean I have no idea how many people were there but that is a lot of money. And if OP's family was fully aware that she doesn't like money being spent on her, I can't understand why'd they go there. If it was me, I'd probably still eat something and pretend just because that's what I am like but I understand why OP was pissed. I mean I wouldn't go three hours not eating but I think this was about principle for OP. Someone could say it's petty but at least her family now knows never to do this again.

[@RockStarMae21]

The birthday one has the same vibe as someone getting you something for a present that they would like for themselves but they know you won't enjoy at all.

[@Jlyric22]

Honestly I don't think anyone is in the wrong in the first story. A lot of people can relate to this similar type of situation, a friend complaining about something you don't have. For example, I have never been in a relationship so sometimes hearing friends complain about their relationship struggles is hard. Sometimes I want to just tell them that at least they have a relationship to have a problem with, but that isn't their burden to carry. They are allowed to have a problem with their relationship the same as I'm allowed to be sad about not having one. There are times when I need to separate myself and let friends know that I am going to let others in our group handle the advice for that moment because it's hard to listen about relationships. So I completely understand the friend needing to separate herself from that situation. I think the poster had every right to defend herself because the sister said she was being mean, but I don't think that's the case. Had the sister said to just be mindful of that friend, then I think it would be totally fine. But the sister is a little in the wrong for sort of assuming ill intent I guess.

[@richardrahl9371]

1. NTA. They brought up the topic of pregnancy and she answered. Saying that her infertility isn't her problem was insensitive, but she's not to blame in that situation. 3. Definitely NTA. While she should have tried to enjoy it, it's also noticeable when someone doesn't. In the end, the fault lies with her parents and husband.

[@TheReverieBleed]

"Sorry, I ran out of breath there because I'm super fat." Cue, I've never related to somebody so much.

[@starchild8822]

I honestly completely disagree with you on the restaurant story As someone who can relate to having hard boundaries on money and food it would be incredibly upsetting for someone to contradict that Plus I think you forgot the part where the family wanted to go to the restaurant before and OP explicitly said no They were thinking about themselves and what they want The rest of the family still enjoyed their meal The only one who didn't was OP who was clearly uncomfortable and the family just didn't listen

[@AmazingAutist]

The husband also didn't enjoy his time either. If theywantee to go out themselves, they would have. I relate to him. It is very hard to love someone who doesn't allow any affection or show of appreciation. She was being petty and instead of saying, "tI appreciate you thinking of me, but you know that I don't like things of this nature." Refusing to have anything for three hours, even the free things, to make it a point that all of their time and effort was wasted. Was it misguided? Yes. But it wasn't malicious in any way, and deserved no malice in turn.

[@sallyhermine]

I'm loving the regular videos!! Missed your content there for a while

[@Artquillproductions]

I LOVE THIS SO VERY MUCH!! ALSO hope you're having such a great day or night, Cue you're the best.

[@pagey.3953]

The out is honestly so good every time, I come for the content and stay for the headbanging

[@LaunchingFlames]

As someone who hates surprises, my own birthday, and rash spending I at least love my family enough to swallow my pride and never call their kindness a "waste".

[@Nerobyrne]

yeah, that "sister's company" thing was weird. absolutely we're missing some cruxial piece of info.

[@angelcake7077]

WAIT YOURE A REALLY TALENTED POP PUNK SINGER THOUGH!!!!! 🥺💖

[@RadioactiveCheese0]

For the last one, I understand the OP digging their heels in and refusing to eat anything. If they gave in, their family might think it's ok to do more stuff like that in the future and push OP's boundaries. It really sounded like the family just wanted to go to that expensive restaurant and didn't really think of how OP would react, or was hoping they could "fix" them and they'll be ok with eating an expensive meal and act how they wanted OP to act that evening. However, I may be biased because my family is like that (disregards my feelings and makes me feel like the asshole for not "playing along"), and maybe I'm projecting, but that's what it seems like to me. Especially since OP said it's very well known that they wouldn't appreciate something like that (even right down to making it a surprise).

[@shagrimm]

"I love my job making nothing, how dare you question it, husband!? If we aren't making enough money then why aren't YOU working harder?"

[@HobieInTheBox]

The expensive restaurant was a gift to the family, not OP. She clearly has TRAUMA with food and hates surprises. They should've stuck with the ice skating 'formula' a picked something she liked, and then informed her about it. The family, incl bf was being incredibly selfish. Not everyone enjoys surprises and some people genuinely feel uncomfortable when you spend money on them. I don't understand how anyone can be so selfish and delusional to not listen. Edit: I completely forgot, they have a baby and need the money for that baby, that's crazy. I totally understand how she's upset, at everything included.

[@OpticalArxenal]

OP also said of their own accord that husband was unhappy about OP never wanting to do anything, just stay at home. How is that reasonable in turn? These people seem mismatched, other than perhaps a misguided attempt to get OP out of their shell a little. I've been like OP, so I get the need to have control over when and what to expend energy on, really do, but if you make it a habit to never compromise, even for close family and loved ones, you will end up more miserable because you push people away who want to try and help you. Need to communicate better, as it doesn't actually sound like the family knows about the ptsd, and OP needs a better therapist than a religious nutcase.

[@pete5489]

the restaurant story, this wasn't really for her birthday, the husband and father were just looking for an opportunity to go there and it's actually kind of shitty to plan someone else's birthday party for yourself (especially shitty since the topic has already been discussed prior), so NTA

[@Rowankeenanx3]

For the second story it depends on how much of a door mat they are but i also believe a true compatible relationship means being able to fulfill both peoples dreams

[@mewphase]

In the one about the birthday dnner at the expensive restaurant, I almost feel like the husband and father done this on purpose. the op mentioned that both of them had talked about wanting to go to this restaurant before, and then, knowing their reasons for not wanting to go, this is where the 'surprise' is? a surprise that op doesn't want? yeah, they planned that as a way to go.

[@cheshirekat8273]

Quitting job: This totally sounds like an MLM. This is totally a boss-babe situation. I bet the sister's house is full of leggings, makeup or diet shake powders. The husband's reaction, the lack of profit and using the word "commitment"... That's totally a pyramid scheme that the wife was into.

[@lilithangel9268]

omg another one. i used to hate to eat after i got out of an abusive relationship. one of the ways my dad shows his love is through cooking for you and taking you out to eat. i always took a few bites and told him i enjoyed it. the food i didnt eat went to friends of mine that couldnt afford food or the type of food he would make or buy. over time i grew more comfortable with it and got to where it was such a blessing. i got to see my dad daily, we became close friends after years of estrangement and actually did more activities together. that ten or so years was actually the last ten of his life, little did i know it. i am so glad i overcame my ptsd and was able to be there for my dad in the end like he was there for me. also i have learned to cook what he cooked for me and thats a comfort during grieving. i can also pass the recipes onto my sister and her son, so he can know and remember his grandfather.

[@audrey1942]

hey cue!! i’ve been real stoked about all the videos you’re putting out!! i’ve been in a pretty dark place lately and watching your videos kinda feels like hanging out with a friend. as lame as that sounds, it really helps with the loneliness. hope you’re well friend:)

[@Idarak1]

Story 1 - NTA, not your job to filter your speech around someone you barely know Story 2 - NTA, if husband doesn't like it leave Story 3 - NTA, should have walked out, who wastes money like that

[@ProPrince]

i feel weird when others buy me exoensive food or a gift but I also know its typically rude to refuse someones generosity

[@mauzawa]

OP in the last story is NTA. My diet is extremely limited due to an eating disorder and therefore I cannot eat at restaurants. I also hate eating because of other issues that I have, and sometimes I go for a couple of days without eating. so if my family asks me if I want to go to a restaurant, which they know 99% of the times ends up with me going hungry for the rest of the day, and I say no, only to have them take me to the very same restaurant on my birthday, I would be very disappointed with them and it's very likely that I would've just walked out of there. I also dislike surprises, so there's that.

[@noooboooo]

Love to listen to your videos while working!

[@kikiblair5132]

I'm a stay at home partner. I've never told my girlfriend that she couldn't stay at a job or change jobs, but I have actually told her that I wouldn't be able to handle it if she went back to a particular once. The stress of that job nearly killed our relationship.

[@UEGMEAT]

The story with the birthday dinner was mad insufferable. Quite a rude woman who's going entirely on stubbornness

[@ledarbyromeo9667]

All I need to say about the last story is atleast her family tries to make her happy. Humble thyself, pilgrim.

[@sleepyninjarin7971]

1. I say the sister is, someone was in pain and was asked how she was, but the sister was pretty mean to her for little reason 2. The op should prioritise family over fun, family is a responsibility 3.everyone except op is mildly bad, but op should have tried to buy something small and cheap, but she definitely shouldn't be forced to pretend to like anything

[@ixyc]

that third one was kinda odd, like the family Should know a little better, but OP also should have communicated their desires. a simple "hey im grateful for you guys taking me here, but i dont want to eat out at this place. can we go somewhere else?" probably would have been sufficient in both reminding the family they disliked it and them not stewing in that hatred. 12:20 bro omg 😭

[@sionnaich8340]

the last one sounded more like they were thinking about what they wanted to do than the OP

[@mintdrop1916]

12:21 NOOOO that was so unexpected im dying

[@extremelyhappysimmer]

"I've never been close to someone who was pregnant" cue hates his mom confirmed.

[@tammieclonts4752]

Cuestar, "I've never been pregnant." Rest of the world, "really?"

[@dingus_wow]

Aita but actually good? Impossible.

[@JulianGreystoke]

Bet that ladies "new business" is actually an MLM.

[@Strawb_milk5]

1 no 2 too little information to judge 3 no

[@jentepreskit1998]

I think if you are pregnant and someone asks you how you're doing, you can answer. Who was the insensitive friend who KNEW what that girl's problems were, and still asked the pregnant girl how they were doing?

[@aikikaname6508]

Last story: husband was very selfish. He used the birthday as an excuse to buy a gift for him (a super expensive restaurant HE wanted to eat at) , unilaterally deciding to use a decent amount of savings on this big event only he wanted. The restaurant should have been chosen based on her tastes, not one she actively showed disinterest in , when she has food issues

[@d.w952]

I gotta say I think the first was TA. I do agree that nobody is in a sense because they both had every right to have the feelings they had, but if you know someone is infertile, it wouldn't be that hard to give a generic answer and then be honest once the friends had left, or just say can we talk about it in private. That way, nobody gets hurt and OP could still be honest but in confidence.

[@d3vilsquidy]

Last story is NTA. The meal wasn’t for her. Her husband and father forced her into a situation they were aware she wouldn’t like and hoped she would cave to the pressure of “but we did this FOR YOU” and not complain. Her husband is the biggest TA

[@cascadianrangers728]

Don't tell people how to spend their money. If someone buys you something, even if you hate it, keep your mouth shut, smile, thank them and then burn it later or whatever What people don't consider is that financial affection is a thing, maybe someone was raised to think that in order to show love or attraction that they must spend money on them. Or maybe nobody ever bought them anything nice, and they want to give someone else an experience they were never able to attend. If I dropped nearly $1000 on dinner for my partner, and she absolutely refused to eat anything, I would be CRESTFALLEN

[@NatiRoBriRi]

I feel like in the first story that friend would’ve still gotten upset if the pregnant woman was feeling all fine and dandy.

[@maryd7753]

i’m excited to see what stories u cover today :D!

[@SamiMichelle]

The food story: the dad and husband are definitely rude for planning things that you don’t enjoy but you are also rude for acting like a child and refusing to eat anything? If it’s a free dessert, at least take a bite or two. Don’t just sit and sulk. That’s really childish. So ESH

[@addicted2mako]

I have to wonder what the sister’s job is that the OP working for her would cause that much strain, especially since in one part she said they can live of the husband’s income but he brings up how she’s not making that much money. Like what if the “job” is them working as MLM reps?

[@mediamementosofficial]

Why can’t more Reddit readers read from AITA filtered? This is so much better.

[@yddub1212]

Cue coming in with the quality control. Excellent.

[@RockylarsYT]

With the first story, imagine being seen as an asshole for complaining about the pain of a broken leg or muscle cramps when someone without legs is in the same room. Yeah everyone would love to have legs and should have, but that doesn't mean you can't complain about the downsides that can come with them.

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

I got the same notification for your video 3 times, so I guess I have to watch it 3 times now.

[@novaquartz5049]

The last one. I sympathize. You don't want to ruin everyone else's day, but your not happy. I'm a major introverts and my family took me to a baseball game (double a) for it. I was having a good time. Till my dad stood up and announced loudly that it was my birthday and got the crowd to sing. I HATE that. #1 reason why we don't go to restaurants that sing on my day. The mascots were passing so ran up ro join and made everyone else laugh. And I was just trying to curl up and die. Dad realized and shook away one mascot but snapped a shot of me and the other mascot anyways. Posted it on fb. I told him to take it down. And he didn't. Worst bday ever.

[@cr0wpie]

I'm so happy you brought the emo song outro back, it makes me feel happy :D !!!

[@EmiCheese]

Not only she decided to refuse a gift that her family was trying to give her, which they might think she deserved, she might've even made them think she was having an episode again, since she wouldn't eat when she had one. It's painful how selfishly she writes in that post, like she can't even think of why her husband and family would think that they're doing something nice since she isn't paying for it.

[@oliveoconnor5589]

Story 2: Tbh if it doesn't pay its not a job but a hobby/dream. I think its fair to be frustrated when she works overpay without contributing anything to the family money wise.

[@Fireprincess161]

That third story is kind of sad. Imagine being like 'It's my wifes birthday, so let's take her to somewhere she's expressed several times she doesn't want to go!'

[@sackyhackMxO]

Cue you’re on a roll with these blessings