R/AmITheAsshole?: Grossed Out By Boyfriend Secretly Tracking My Period | ZULA Answers

[@VS-du3xl]

My bf roughly has an idea about my period cycle so that he knows when I will be more sensitive/emotional... I think it is probably more towards the guy being sweet/concerned since she does experience pain/discomfort during her period + they are not even physically together so there shouldn't be an ulterior motive.

[@HitmanDaisuke]

agree, some guys keep track of gf period is because the girl will be more sensitive and vulnerable during that time. maybe the guy wants to either becareful of what they say or wants to take cares of her throughly during that time. like buying comfort food,cooking,buy chocolate for her.

[@YugenRaven]

this was exactly my intention towards my previous partner, and to get her those heating pads that she can stick onto her tummie! but yea liked

[@dawnlim6730]

i agree w leah for the second aita lol, the fact that the wife is the one cooking and the one spending hrs in the kitchen to whip up food for the family is alrdy a convenience for him, like cooking takes time and all if she can spend hours cooking for the family, surely he can spend awhile waiting for her?? and dood like u can't even let her be proud of her own creations?? if that's the case then u cook lahh, if u rlly dw to wait den yah go get ur own food lor, don't go ruin her work like that manss D: my mum always cooks on wkends for us and she always likes to take pictures of her food to send to her friends, like ya she created it, so imo who am I to barge in to destroy it?? like bruh the fact tht like it's her creation and I'm alrdy grateful she's letting me eat it uk what I mean, like think abt it this way mans lol js take it as the photography sesh is part of the amt of time she takes to prepare the food thenn, if it's not cooked like what u gna do?? " I'm so hungry I'm gna eat uncooked food??" yeahh think abt it dood and to whoever else who reckons the guy's behaviour is acceptable lolol

[@austen98]

Just an addendum to this subject, I did some research on this and found out that the original reddit post has been locked after 3k+ replies were posted by the moderators. I gather that the replies were in support that he is the AH.

[@dancingspeed]

u know how restaurants give toddlers crackers, juice boxes and colouring books so that they won't throw a tantrum while waiting for the food? This grown ass dude need that.

[@akeilus]

I make it a point to not have friends that take food pics obsessively. If food blogging is your thing, please buy your own food and take pics of it. I will not fork out money only to have to wait until pics have been taken before I enjoy.. I paid my money.. the food is here.. its time to put away your phones and enjoy the food and friends..

[@isabelbleh]

the most asshole part about the husband eating the wife's food is that he ruined every single dish?! that's totally on purpose. he could just take a bit from one dish to satisfy his hunger pangs, and not ruin the ENTIRE spread

[@skyboy123454321]

I think we can all agree what a massive asshole that guy is. Since its probably at home just go get a snack or something.. this is not some random food, its the hard work of his wife.

[@an_xon]

Leah said there will definitely be people who will validate that dickhead, went through the reddit post and yea no one is validating him HAHAHA

[@ZULAsg]

Do you guys agree with Bolin and Leah? Also, do comment down below if there are any other threads you would like us to react to!

[@joeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee]

my girlfriend tells me herself! and during that period we wont plan for too much outdoors activities and just chill instead~ for food i will also bring her stuff that is better for cramps and avoid alcohol/cold drinks etc!

[@damienlee927]

Great, fair and objective views!

[@HumdrumSingaporeanREACTS]

@@joeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee To be honest with you @Bolin and @Leah made some really good pointers in this video!!! Thank you so much for sharing~

[@serene9532]

im a girl & for the period tracking one, I would be touched if my partner did that lol (not "pressed", ah bolin?)

[@jazype]

LOVE LOVEEEE this AITA ep. Do more do more!! Also gws Brenda

[@requiem221]

For the last case, IMO based on what was said did seem like he was asking out of concern since he usually asked when he saw her in discomfort. To describe it as tracking seems a bit of a stretch as well...every 3rd week of the month seems more like an vague observation or pattern you can arrive at over time without explicitly trying to calculate/track.

[@peackpr9]

I was going to say the same since in her letter it says he would ask AFTER she showed discomfort from the pain.

[@adhiantos]

My thought on the food photographer couple: I assume that she made a couple of dishes for their meal. So maybe she could have spooned bits of the food she made before plating it for her husband? I once had a meal with a friend once, she loves food photography and she takes photos of her cooked meals. So before she dished them out for us, she actually asked us to take some food straight from the pan before she takes photos of her food. In the end we ended up waiting (we're not hungry) but I thought that was really thoughtful of her to ask us first.

[@doralto]

The 35 year old guy, should be the bigger man. You want such a young girl, you need to match what she wants. He forgot he is 10 years older. The girl could have gone for younger men. Don't waste her youth la.

[@audeamus7388]

OR, she gold digger

[@yxinz]

@@audeamus7388 gold digger wouldn’t expect a pastry as a bday present leh. So lame.

[@denisse3883]

@@audeamus7388 how is she a gold digger? she agreed to split the bill at first but he f up her birthday so she just thought that he would pay for the anniversary dinner to compensate her (like what a normal boyfriend would do). but instead he wanted his ego and show off, told her to pay him afterwards. she's not a gold digger, he just has a low EQ, and is insensitive af.

[@Jelliemeetsyuki]

For the last confession, as someone who has extremely severe painful cramps during that time of the month (to the point whereby painkillers is required really often) that gesture is actually pretty nice so it does depends on the individual. If the girl doesn’t really show any overly obvious signs of pain/discomfort I think the tracking of her cycle is going a little too far though! 😅

[@leez2442]

i always keep track of my girlfriend’s period in my memo because she has bad cramps and a bit of mood swings so knowing when her period is arriving (she usually lets me know first though) lets me have a bit of time to buy her menstrual heat packs and her usual period cravings + i’ll plan to stay-in with her instead of planning for a date out. so i think there’s always two (or more than one) perspectives to things!

[@emmatan3563]

Please put these Zula Answers as a podcast!! :) would love to hear it on the go !

[@kxyr28]

my partner also takes photos of our food because it's something they're passionate about and want to build a career out of it. i get impatient too but i just buy a snack while waiting for the shoot to be over. how hard can that be lol

[@navrillera]

for the period-tracking one, men mainly tracks their partner's period for 2 reasons: 1. truly cares & wants to protect her, take care of her, provide her warmth, etc, OR 2. horny af, only thinks abt dirty stuff, lacks self-control, cant wait for her period to end to do stuff w her thats why keep tracking/checking. some may think the bf is option 1, but i feel like he's option 2 cos of how his tone was when he asked his gf abt her period (based on the story) la. mayb he can sound more caring & sweet lor, by adding "are u ok", "how are u feeling", etc instead of str8 away "eh your period start/end when ah".

[@MrSkullSociety]

I am a male that track my girl's period cycle... It actually is very beneficial and enables me to learn a lot more about her. There is a clear correlation to her moods and energy levels. I have done the same for several ex too with varying level of tracking with their permission... None of them are creep up about it.

[@audeamus7388]

The period girl a bit sot leh I feel. I also like to roughly know when my gf is on her period so I can give her more TLC. I think she is overreacting.

[@TheNart1234]

I AM LIVID AT THE FOOD PHOTOGRAPHY SERIOUSLY because obv the guy is the a**hole and he still dared to ask if he is?? wtf!?

[@rachellin2253]

wow this is so interesting i dont find theres a problem with my partner asking about my period at all in fact i will openly share if he asks sia

[@LittleMs.S]

I reacted the same way as Leah for the second one. And can I just say I like how real she is and doesn’t give a f about what others think of her because same 🤪😎

[@ProjectElf]

Be my friend bolin. I also hate when my friends take photo of food. I always just eat, food is getting cold!

[@fadingawayyyyy]

Love Leah's energyy 😍

[@strawberryberry9914]

when bolin was talking about the “press” i also thought the guy was literally pressing the girl’s stomach 😭😭

[@thisisacrappyusername892]

The first one is the 35 year old guy, I think it ultimately boils down to communication. He should have tried to understand why she didn't like the birthday and fully apologise. He needs to reach out and understand her. The next thing is she remains upset, but expects him to know and make up by paying for the bill. He can't read her mind to know she wants the bill paid, Esperanza because they pre-agreed. So she needs to reach out and communicate this

[@yan.valerie]

everytime i see the ipad on their laps i will automatically be wondering when it might fall off. HAHAHA

[@zerofann]

It’s so satisfying to hear them swear 😂

[@eerroorr87]

i choked on my dinner when he shouted "LANJIAO!!" So funny! 🤣

[@kyjellykoh2930]

For the last story, I love my boyfriend to track my period cus he would bring pads and heat pack when we go out together, and he will also be more understanding of my mood swings..

[@laylac]

I can understand why the woman felt disgusted by her boyfriend’s behaviour, but don’t think her response is justified. As women, we are given the impression from young that periods are something which are embarrassing and should be hidden. Even though this is not something I agree with, I think that explains why she felt creeped out by her boyfriend’s attention towards it. Looking at it from an objective point of view, I don’t see how there would be any ulterior motives behind the boyfriend wanting to know when his girlfriend’s period is

[@alvinsuc]

LEAH LOOKING FIREEE 🤯😍

[@mkmk-po3yh]

The second AITA, this is not one time two time eh it's every single meal. I'd just eat takeaway rather than waiting to eat her food like Leah said

[@bingsentay3287]

Love the units used to rate LOL

[@RedDotRants]

It's not true that couples like to work together. In fact, it's wise not to.

[@JuzNicky]

1:27 - agree that is a mixed matched of expectations. on the way to making money then find a queen that is also wanting to make money ? the finance girls 7:59 - the guy is posting a WoT then asking for an opinion. as the other half shouldn't the party be patient and if its for work just walk out and eat prata urself ? this shouldn't be an issue to begin with ? agree with Leah and Bolin 5 stars and 3 stars for her food if its food-king good ! 15:12 - Would this be in another PoV a deal breaker ? or on the other hand just how the party is in a r/s ? 20:03 - Wouldn't track something so personal but if you know you know ? Rather buy stuff she needs over other stuff like flowers ? Warm packs, pads its not wrong if the girl has a gut sus Just girls has more necessities than guys ? Even co workers having something she needs on hand helps with the working relationship while on shift.

[@lalalalaland84]

Actually that guy who kept asking about her period - probably they haven't reached that stage of intimacy yet + he gives me incel vibes.

[@akopper]

Some guys just know a lot about periods/timings/etc, esp the boys that studied bio.

[@shawnwongminghan1028]

Bolin the r/s guru

[@jhjanice8918]

For the second case, I can understand the guy. If Im hungry, I will be angry as well. Both should just communicate and come to an agreement.

[@scintilla5318]

He has no right to be angry. Unlike eating out with friends where everyone paid for their own food and no one is a food blogger, his wife was the one who spent time and energy making the food for her hobby and most likely a career path she wants to forge in the future. Just because she is his wife doesn’t mean that he is entitled to eat her cooking. He should be grateful she even makes food for him. She is not some waitress or chef at a restaurant whom he gets to be angry at just because the service took too long. If he was truly that hungry, he could’ve ate some snacks in the house or ordered takeaway, but clearly he sits on his ass and whines like a child while his wife works on her passion instead of supporting her. What he did is the equivalent to throwing an artist’s canvas on the floor before it finished drying. He clearly only sees his wife’s cooking as a service he is entitled to and fails to see that in his wife’s perspective, it’s more than just food, it’s her creative work that she spent hours on, it is a project she probably had an important vision and plan for. On top of that, I doubt he ate the food out of unbearable hunger, he clearly ate it out of spite and to ruin the arrangement as much as possible. He also chose to do it only when his wife left the room instead of communicating face to face like a grown man should. The only agreement there needs to be is that this guy should give her a proper apology for being an asshole and agree to get his own food if he has a problem with how long the food his wife makes takes to reach his mouth. Honestly such a small incident speaks volumes about a person and I wouldn’t be surprised if they eventually end up divorced, I wouldn’t stay with a man like him.

[@ongakiko1755]

My husband always track my menstrual cycle, so he able to keep track mood swings~

[@windsorthniah9568]

I wanna see bolin try stream him playing elden ring for the first time on TSL

[@hengjohn]

Funniest episode ever!!

[@beny.5736]

Boyfriend try to find out more about their girlfriend = creepy. Boyfriend try to let go a bit = bo chup. SMLJ everything also bf at fault

[@Faris_SG]

Is there a ZULA subreddit or discord? 🤔

[@yxinz]

If your guy is 10 years older than you and still cannot afford to buy you a proper meal and a decent birthday present… maybe he’s not ready to be in a rs or start a family. Just sayin. He’s not ready for sacrifice.

[@choonkeonglim6178]

Culture shocked 18:38

[@windsorthniah9568]

why leah look so sheepish when bolin ranting about ppl who take photos of all the food before anyone can eat? why guilty ha?

[@HumdrumSingaporeanREACTS]

@ZULA 😲

[@HumdrumSingaporeanREACTS]

😲😲😲😲😲

[@HumdrumSingaporeanREACTS]

😯😯😯😯😯

[@user-jd2dn5fb2g]

The wife cooking project, i dont understand. When you are involve in this kind of photo taking project, sure you will take long time to get perfect shot. How long to wait is very subjective depending on ur patience and level of hunger. And She KNOWS the cooking took hours. So imagine, instead of her husband, its her children waiting. Of course they will also throw tantrum. Common sense she could have cook a little bit extra and separate it so that her husband can fill up his stomach for a bit. This would never happen in malay family, because the wife always cook with husband and children in mind, and understanding it would be very long to wait. So i think both parties are AITA. Lol.