r/Bestof My In-Laws Carrie'd Me at My Wedding

[@zigzackb2036]

Story 1: Sending unsolicited pictures of genitals absolutely qualifies as assault. Bring that up in therapy and tell your husband to give his parents a warning it's coming. Story 2: Glad op got a lawyer and everything was thrown out, dude didn't have a case lol

[@samaritan_sys]

Unsolicited pics definitely do not count as assault, but rather as harassment if they’re sent constantly. Something can be awful without being illegal.

[@Bennett-BTW]

Couldnt the BIL be sued for destruction of property over the dress? Like, wedding dresses are EXPENSIVE, and iirc $1000 in damage is the felony threshold. Idk , i can't imagine just not addressing that. Rich FIL better have paid for the dress

[@ChazzleDazzleVideos]

Yeah most likely and 1000$ is the set limit for most states but it can be lower than that. In minnesota even 500-1000 can be a felony especially if you have a prior charge for the same offense. A lot of states will do 500 or more as a felony if somone has a prior conviction and some are even lower.

[@Mikustan39]

See this is exactly why I don’t want a super expensive wedding dress. Having said that, if someone did that to me prison would be the least of their concerns.

[@Bennett-BTW]

@Mikustan39 no fr. Not a wedding dress type of dude myself, but if someone did that to a friend or someone in my family, I'd actually freak the fuck out. Their hospital bill needs to outweigh the dress cost imo

[@RobinJay1939]

She could also sue for battery and intentional infliction of emotional distress

[@ChazzleDazzleVideos]

@RobinJay1939 true and also if throwing a drink at someone can be charged as an assault I would imagine he could have been arrested for that as well.

[@zarekarstudio]

man, that last story... i'm glad that poor woman has a support system now. and, it sounds like, a _really_ good brother and sister-in-law.

[@SewardWriter]

No kidding. The dad's behaviour is reprehensible. You had the affair, dude. It's your responsibility. I hate it when people take things out on their kids.

[@Bookdragon3000]

@@SewardWriterthe mom’s behavior is almost worse. She sounds like someone that’s more concerned with “protecting the family image.”

[@Juju2927]

@@Bookdragon3000 She must be, if she stayed with the Cheater and told absolutely no one about the Half sister nor the affair.

[@AWhite33190]

Yeah, OP in that story and his wife are aces. They should feel proud for how good their hearts are.

[@xLollipopx]

@@Bookdragon3000 Mom isn't obligated to help the affair baby

[@Juju2927]

Last Story : OP telling his mom "I'm helping her because YOU taught me too" must have felt like a reality check for her. Good on OP for being a good man even coming from such scumbags.

[@dannycomellas]

That last story... I can completely see why the sister is so hesitant to accept support. I guarantee you that all her life, she's been made to feel less worthy as a person by the cheating dad, and so projects that onto others and herself. I'm so glad the brother is taking her in and realizing that she's not at fault for anything. Grade A human, the brother is

[@hotplotsandsynonyms]

The dad said he was proud of OP for "being a better man". That tells me that OP's father wanted to be a good dad to the sister and OP's mom wouldn't let him because she was so mad at the affair she blamed the innocent child for her own husband's decisions. So that poor girl had a father who wouldn't stand up for her, a mother who was struggling and may have resented her for making life harder, and a "step-mother" who hated her and blamed her for a grown man's actions. I'm so glad that OP is stepping up and helping her get back on her feet. She deserves someone to genuinely help her and care for her.

[@DaniS398]

​@hotplotsandsynonyms lol. No. He chose to cheat and then to not care for his own child. Stop blaming the wife for the decisions of a grown ass man. He made a choice to be a POS.

[@fonkengsaliki3015]

​@@DaniS398I'm going to blame both sets of parents because the mom is trying to make OP not give af about his sibling. Yall spinless cowards

[@hotplotsandsynonyms]

@ I'm blaming the mother for hating the affair child, not for the affair. And she has every right to struggle with reconciling her place in the life of the child of an affair...it's tough to have a daily reminder of your husband's a**holery in your life. But hating the kid to the point where she's mad at her own son for wanting to talk to the woman is a bit much, I think. Giving the mother the BEST POSSIBLE benefit of the doubt and putting all negative decisions on the father, I still think she was partly in the wrong here. She hid the kid from her own son, who had a right to know he had a half-sibling. She chose to stay with a man who practically abandoned his daughter by only sending some money until the girl was 18, probably by court order or pressure from the wife (in the positive for wife scenario). And she got mad at her own son for wanting to know more about and/or help a woman who was his blood relative and was in desperate need. I accept it's a difficult scenario for the marriage, but this child is innocent, and these are not the actions a good person takes/accepts toward an innocent child. She has some culpability here, and it sounds to me like that culpability is in hating the child enough to force her husband to choose between parenting his affair baby or keeping his wife. If that's what happened, it's not unfair of her, but it would be a thing she did, not her husband. Just because you were a victim doesn't mean everything you do in response is justified.

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

@@hotplotsandsynonyms I can understand why should would not want the reminder of the affair offspring in her face.

[@BigBadWolfParty]

Has he never seen Carrie?! Dude would be lucky to not be in jail. If not worse.

[@annika5893]

If it was paint, it was more like "Wednesday'd", cos in the TV show Wednesday (about Wednesday Addams), they pull this at a school dance, and Wednesday remarks how disappointed she is that they used only paint. But in real life, even with paint... I would repay the compliment, every effing time I saw him.

[@RagingWoody74]

He's lucky he ain't buried under the church...

[@eric98292]

If that happened to my wife, I would bear him within an inch of his life. That's not a prank. He just wanted to ruin the wedding.

[@dwilcox7706]

You made bad decisions not to call the cops. TWICE. ... wtf is that? It would make it easier for Brian to harass us? Huh? When he through the paint the first thing you should have done was call the cops.

[@BadassHater1]

The dude sounds like he never had to face the consequences of his actions

[@SailorMya]

It is a clear pattern that everyone in Johns family have silently agreed too... Placate Brian or we ALL suffer! Family or not call the police when they do illegal things or they will NEVER learn! Too much trying to "not rock the boat" while Brian is running around trying to tip it every chance he gets! How is that fair!?

[@dre1978]

Yeah I had to do a double take when he said that line. What mental gymnastics do you gotta do to come up with that?? I would've ended it after the wedding incident and him refusing to get the cops involved. Wedding dresses are EXPENSIVE and most people want to keep them after. Throwing RED PAINT of all things on one is just evil

[@Khaldolore]

It's because it's a fake post designed to create rage for engagement.

[@nomar5spaulding]

Last OP is a good egg. Not just for the sister helping. He gave his sister the box set of The Expanse. That's a good family member right there.

[@alekd6358]

The second story you missed one small detail: that story was Australia based so probably not law school debt more likely drugs or gambling.

[@kconway2263]

Even in America, gambling was my first guess. You don’t usually try to shake people down over student loans.

[@hayleyemma877]

Yeah a law degree here costs around $70k but it’s loaned and you don’t have to start paying it back until you earn over a certain amount. Definitely sounds like drugs (common for the legal profession) or gambling (also common in Australia)

[@SakuraKotoni]

Even before I realised Australia, my first thought was gambling TBH, not law school.

[@survivedandthriving]

I didn't know the story was from Australia, but as a Canadian my first thought was something like drugs, gambling debts, or irresponsible spending on conspicuous consumption (or some combination of these types of factors). Americans sometimes seem to think the world functions the way that they do without realizing in so many metrics they are the outlier, and often not in the 'great' way they imagine themselves to be. --- On a side note, as a Canadian, it is also laughable that anyone among our neighbours to the south would think that we would ever want to join them. The stuff that they find 'normal' is often utterly bizarre and distressing: the crippling school and medical debts, the massive xenophobia, the jingoism, the disproportionately high prison populations, women having no bodily autonomy, it being legal to discriminate against people due to factors such as gender and orientation, the defunding of their public education systems, the gun violence, etc., etc., etc. I mean, yeah, we will continue to try to be the neighbour who will take in the mail when they go on holiday and loan a cup of sugar when they run out, but otherwise, they can keep that dumpster fire on their side of the property line.

[@Snailman3516]

Yup, I can't imagine an employed lawyer would need cash that desperately for student loans. Yeah, loans can get out of control, but lawyers make bank. Something like drugs, gambling, or the odd wh40k addiction are how you blow through a lawyer's salary fast enough to need to shake people down.

[@dracko158]

Story 3: They said I could have let them stay and that I was being selfish for not moving my dog's crates to another room, and that changing the routine for 3 days would not have killed me." **Deep Breath** "WHY DON'T YOUUUUU DO IT?!"

[@fdm2155]

Yeah, even without the dogs, who assumes they can bring their family of 5 or 6 people to someone's 3 bedroom home for a multi-night stay? Even if OP had a spare bedroom? That'd be way over the top for almost anyone.

[@CooperGal24]

Here's a better idea, why don't the "Friend" and their family GO TO A HOTEL INSTEAD!? Why do they have to use and treat OP like a free hotel service that they can take advantage of ANYTIME they visit?!

[@cyclopentadiol2923]

@@CooperGal24 Precisely because it would have been 'free' for them. Nothing beats 'friends' inviting themselves over and then gaslighting you that you're a bad person when you refuse.

[@Floofie_boi]

So, story one, I've said this on the previous video. it's not a prank if everybody can't laugh at it after it's over. Throwing paint on someone isn't a prank. That is a form of assault.

[@thatoneguywhocommented]

Was I the only one expecting R/slash to say “Why don’t YOU do it?!” On the third story? lol

[@soulgazer11]

That last story made me cry, that hit close to home. My mother gave everything to my sister and absolutely nothing to me. No food, no bedroom, no money, no love. I had to survive on my own. My sister literally had two bedrooms while I slept in the livingroom. When I was kicked out at 17, I had nothing, my mother kept the money that the government gave her to take care of me, and I ate molasses and ketchup to survive. It's crazy how two siblings can come from the same parents, and not be given the same chance in life.

[@novamarpo3]

I like your PFP! :D

[@bunzel8178]

horrific, i hope the golden child gives that sht "mom" of yours a really ~grand~ bad time, and they end up alone, and having to eat mollasses to survive. I hope youre doing wonderfully now and are able to live freely, unguardedly, and are eating well! Sincerely, someone with a sh mom too!

[@alexwascorrupted1292]

Omg same 😭 I listen to these while working out and I had to stop for a second because I got teared up 😭

[@snake5solid]

OP in the first story is going to wake up one day and realize that she wasted years on a guy who let his creepy brother harass her and his family coddling this PoS. I do not see this story ending happily. Either she leaves peacefully or BIL does something to her and her husband and parents won't take her side.

[@SewardWriter]

It may have already happened. The story is four years old.

[@KaptainSuz]

Ya'll really don't understand the concept of committing to someone, do you? It sounds like he's got a lot of stuff to work through, and they're planning to go to therapy(or were at least), it would be pretty awful to just abandon the guy when he's trying to seek help. They can absolutely make it through this, as long as he starts doing the work to deal with his problems and starts being more assertive with his family and his terrible brother. Not every single situation has to end with divorce.

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

@@KaptainSuzAre we talking about Brian or John? If you grope my wife you’re never talking to me again

[@DiscoPanic3]

​@@KaptainSuz Tell me you have never been sexually assaulted without telling me you've never been sexually assaultedm

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

​@@KaptainSuznah, hubby is a doormat to his brother and family, chooses them over the wife pretty regularly, and got out of his responsibility in this situation by crying and pretending to wish he'd done something at the wedding.

[@charamia9402]

Last story: Love your kids. Let them know often how much you value their existence. Teach them to be kind and respectful and to expect the same in return. Teach them they are valuable and worthy. When they are confident in their own self worth, it's a lot easier to achieve whatever they might want.

[@spishdaferret5382]

Couldn't have said it any better 🙂‍↕️ wholeheartedly

[@Ari-yz3fy]

And that what op parents thought him but it blew up in their face hard.

[@n4b1k1]

On that first story, I rather doubt that rslash knows what it's like to spend most of their young lives being bullied and threatened by someone much larger than him. My brother was always at LEAST twice my size and threatened me and gaslighted me on a regular basis until I managed to cut all ties with him when I was 23. I'm getting close to 60 now and I still have confidence issues, though decades of work has done its job.

[@SewardWriter]

Dude, I'm in a very similar position. Problem is, if you can't defend those you promised to defend and care for (spouse, kids, pets, etc), then you shouldn't have them.

[@n4b1k1]

@@SewardWriter That's why their going to counseling is a very positive step. He'll get there, but it takes time.

[@HackiePuffs]

And a lot of these commenters

[@SewardWriter]

@@n4b1k1 I don't know if he will without individual therapy.

[@n4b1k1]

@@SewardWriter He may get recommended for individual therapy, or he may not. He has someone supportive at his side and he's shown the willingness to see where he's at and want to improve.

[@ericacatty3528]

Half sister story: huge thanks to OP for not being just another person to treat her like the garbage she already felt/ feels like. It's hard finding people who care enough to say something, reach out, or meet. Usually, our own families treat us poorly for being unwanted, unexpected, and a mistake. We can feel it even when people don't say it. I'm grown and my kiddos will never EVER be made to feel what I went through, and I work hard to protect them from anyone who would treat them as less than because of me. - signed, an affair baby.

[@smilinmadman]

Jesus that last story set a fucking fire inside me. I didn't have the best childhood growing up, and there wasn't anything I could do for my middle siblings, but they were taken by their father and got a better life. So that worked out. But my baby sister, I couldn't let her have one too. Proud of the wife and mother she's become, no thanks to our shitty parents. But holy fuck, if I was OP, I'd be on a warpath. Mom's, I don't like her attitude, but I understand. She doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to, she has no real part in this. But the Father. Oh we have fucking issues like we're printing Playboy. We are catching hands for one. Secondly, after that ass whooping, he has two choices. 1.) Fix your fuck up, be in her life. Or 2.) Lose both your children for abandoning one. Seems like OP's parents taught him to be a kind and generous person as well as assertive while being such shitty people. I feel it bro, I feel it.

[@dovahkiin6488]

14:57 Oooh shit. Yeah, black mold is damn near impossible to get rid of and nothing to scoff at, speaking from experience.

[@vivacity1261]

Black mold sucks hard

[@davidcundy]

Story #2, Fake Grandson. As an Australian here, I can say that, even if the fake was a real grandson, he would have no claim on the cars, as OP bought them fair and square from the grandmother, as verified by her two adult children. It would be laughed out of court.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Feels like everyone in the first story is choosing or has chosen the bad option to deal with these serious issues. OP is doing herself no favors by defending John and I get that Reddit is extremist but her defending John and getting defensive when she didn’t get the advice she wanted is counterintuitive to resolving things. Not only that she’s being way too passive in this and by not standing up for herself she’s also failing herself just as much as her husband is. As for John he should feel like he failed OP because he did. Childhood trauma or not, he needs to stand up for OP and himself and realize that his parents aren’t the great people he thinks they are. Not only did they fail to protect him but they failed to rein in Brian which only enabled him to be a terrible human being, though at this point Brian is a grown ass man and there are plenty of people that turn out good and decent despite a rough upbringing, so it’s a little late to blame everything on mommy and daddy.

[@mushroommagic1697]

EXACTLY. Op's husband is a doormat, I feel so sorry for her. Op is too love stricken to see the danger, her husband allows his brother to harass her. If Brain isn't punished for his actions he will do worse things to OP than silly pranks, maybe even r*ape her. And I can imagine her husband being a scared cat who wants to protect Brain if this happens. ("Honey I know he graped you, but we should be mature and not involve the police. What if my parents are hurt, what if Brain gets violent towards us? Let's pretend nothing happened, let's turn the other check around.") Op should leave Jhon, he has no spine and doesn't respects and loves her enough to make a safe space for her. He and his family aren't taking her into consideration, she's also part of that family but she is neglected and ignored. Brian is a spoiled man child who should be made responsible for his disgusting and immature behavior. Doesn't matter if he was sa'ed, it is tragic, but it is not an excuse for him to be allowed to rain havoc and harass op and maybe even other people.

[@RadioOppy1]

“WHY DO YOU CARE?!” “BECAUSE YOU TAUGHT ME TO!!!” That resource goes hard

[@khrishp]

Second story. I would very much doubt that it's law school debt because there's certain payment schedules that he would be following that wouldn't need large payments upfront or anything like that. Most likely it's either drugs or gambling because those are hugely prevalent issues in the lawyer community.

[@fdm2155]

Bingo. Dude almost certainly has debt from vices, not just law school.

[@Rose_Petals12]

​@@fdm2155it might not even be that. The story says he's an ex-boyfriend, so maybe he's just being bitter and is trying to get revenge or something.

[@fdm2155]

@ I don't know about that. How is stealing from OP gonna exact revenge on a third party who doesn't own, never owned, apparently never expected to own the cars? Nah. This guy had to know he was putting his law license at risk. I don't think he'd doing that to get some vague indirect potential revenge on an ex GF. This harassment campaign reads as desperate.

[@Rose_Petals12]

@@fdm2155 I see what you mean, I guess I've been reading too many stories about psychopathic exes. At the same time though, let's not underestimate how far people are willing to go for the sake of pettiness 😂

[@fdm2155]

@@Rose_Petals12 Agreed 😆😆

[@MadsFeierskov]

It's so sad to read about people like in the last story. It takes so little to help them, but because of ungrateful people and scammers, it's really hard to make even a small sacrifice.

[@janeyrevanescence12]

Carrie Wannabe: If I were John and my brother dumped red paint on my bride? Well they’d need to call an ambulance for my brother and a police car for me.

[@SewardWriter]

As it should be.

[@morgandouglas6014]

While I’m glad OP from the first story and her husband are working things out, I really don’t think she’s being hard enough on her husband. John is completely failing to protect OP from the brother-in-law. Even without calling the cops, the NSFW pic is the part where I would give the ultimatum: me or the brother-in-law, not both, and if he chooses the brother-in-law, this time, there are no further chances, and when I next leave the house after that, he would be expected to be gone by the time I return.

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

K. So just proves 90% of comments are nothing more then " its not the way I would have done it so op is wrong " Nothing but biased cry babies who haven't learned to separate emotions from text on a screen.

[@cassandrafortney7980]

I've never been here this early! My daughter wanted me to invite "OP" to her 5th birthday (back in August). Thought I should share that hilarious tidbit here. Love your hard work, Dabney!

[@annika5893]

Maybe buy your daughter a stuffed animal or something and name it "OP". Then she can have OP at every birthday!

[@emi-du1fq]

Oh my that’s hilarious and adorable!!! Thank you for sharing! She sounds absolutely adorable 🥰

[@SewardWriter]

That is adorable. Give your daughter a high five from me, and say it's from OP.

[@Iflie]

Why would a church had RED paint in the closet? I think he brought it from somewhere to do it. And the last story, in the U.S kids who ended up in fostercare have huge numbers of getting pregnant early and those kids also ending up taken away from them. Their search for love ending up with them trying to take care of babies too early and without the means to support them, financially or emotionally. Where a child grows up has a huge impact.

[@Ari-yz3fy]

My church had paint in the closet to fix up the church or paint over small mistakes or worn out paint. But it was behind a door with a lock so that kids wouldn’t go in and play with the paint. We also had church class so we use the paint to do projects or help the community

[@Iflie]

@@Ari-yz3fy I'd get regular paint but what church has a need for red paint? What are they painting, fire hydrants?

[@luvondarox]

I think John is actively choosing Brian. His creepy brother's obsession with OP is absolutely unhinged, and John is a _-_-_ for continually dragging OP into interacting with him.

[@lulufortytwo3884]

that's... that's not what happened in the end though

[@HazeX2]

Someone who didn't read the whole story

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

That last story got me in the feels lol. I have gotten so jaded due to the amount of entitled people that we see on Reddit. But it sounds like this sweet girl was just reaching out to her bio dad as a last resort. I'm so glad OP and his wife are so kind and loving. It sounds like theyre helping the sister begin to have a better life and gain more confidence in herself ❤

[@Darksaber-qn3nz]

The first story: The husband needs. To grow. A spine. He is literally enabling this behaviour and so are his parents! Red flag one: by kicking out his brother after he splashed OP with red paint, that paint will literally be difficult to remove from the dress depending on the type of paint it was! Flag two: By not screaming at his brother and parents for basically harassing OP with adult pictures! I hope OP sees how spineless her husband is in the moments it matters most and divorces him, she deserves WAY better.

[@SweetLala25]

Stop having affairs tf! If you're going to feel ashamed about your affair kid, then stop cheating!! Yes it's that easy to NOT be an AH to your spouse. People just need to take a moment to look in the mirror and see if that is the type of person they wanna be, hurt the family they already have and if they STILL need to step out, just break up.

[@MisterNightfish]

Story 1: Parents did Brian no favor by letting him get away with everything his whole life because of what happened to him.

[@rabbitholegirl1]

My god. John NEEDS to dump his horrible brother

[@annavarian8946]

The second story; given that it takes place in Australia, it's unlikely it's university debt. You're looking at about 90k average in costs for the entirety of a law diploma/degree. And our government doesn't really savage us for our student loan payments either so 😂

[@brendanboomhour7606]

So, is loan sharks more likely then?

[@Human-kb6xc]

It’s probably gambling debt.

[@JosieJOK]

@@Human-kb6xc Or drugs.

[@KatlinJohnson]

I knew when OP's opening lines were "ill do whatever it takes to stay with my husband" that she should leave him but wouldnt. If my partner wasnt willing to sue or go no contact with someone whod do something like this. He will NOT be my husband for very long. ANNULEMENT

[@mushroommagic1697]

Also when I hear the line "my partner is perfect" I just know the partner is an abusive pos.

[@AzureKyle]

Even without the whole fake grandson in debt stuff, he wouldn't have a case against OP. The moment the title for a vehicle gets signed over, ownership changes. If you own the title and it's in your name, you own the vehicle, especially in the eyes of the law.

[@Alyrulz421]

OP: gushes about how “amazing” their hubby is Also OP: proceeds to describe a bare minimum dude who’s spineless and caves to his parents every whim 💀

[@trevorstockwell8290]

S1:The brother yes got their life together but throwing red paint on OP’s dress at the wedding. It’s not a prank I’m tired of that being used as an excuse for their mess ups. I understand why OP doesn’t want to go to her step parents for the holidays because they keep excusing the brother’s constant harassment. When he sent a dirty pic to OP that would send me over the edge. S2:I’m very skeptical that the person claiming to be the grandson has any legal leg to stand on. I’m glad that OP is taking care of the cars. I would get a restraining order against the fake grandson because if he was will to harass OP he might go further. S3: Gotta love how people expect to camp in a house that they don’t own. OP has never been to the other’s house and I highly doubt it would have been three days and I can almost guarantee they would have tore apart OP’s home. It makes it even worse when OP’s old friend group helped them trying to make OP fell guilty. S4: I get you might not want to address that OP’s father cheated but that doesn’t mean the kid made from that situation doesn’t deserve to be ignored and treated like trash. The other kid is still OP’s sibling but OP’s mom is just trying to ignore the situation and treats the other kid doesn’t exist. OP’s wife is great and it’s good to hear OP’s sister is doing better living with you and having a stable life. No KZbin nothing hateful was said

[@GBunnyG]

That last story makes me want to cry. OP is a good person and the sister deserves all the love she's been missing.

[@lizanna6390]

1:40 so Brian is insane

[@icecreamnoodles3742]

Last story: "Turns out, all you need is a loving, decent home to feel confident/ become a decent person". Have you looked at OPs parents? Some people are A-holes &/or refuse to take responsibility for their actions (father) or let others make decisions for them (Mother) so they don't have to make one, regardless of upbringing. We are who we are through an amalgamation of who we are from the start, and how our environment makes us shape ourselves. And while the starting line is a major part of how we are shaped, it does NOT define who we will become in the end.

[@Ari-yz3fy]

Yup I started seeing hoe abusive my dad was with money and my mom so I taught myself how to save up and stay away from relationships until I’m not fick in my head. My dad is still bad with money but we can’t tell him no because he threatened to kill us.

[@pretzelicious4200]

I'm disgusted at how passive OP's husband is towards his idiot of a brother. If he has trauma he needs to sort it out and step up.

[@Blackaddersservant]

Half way through story 1: OP is an idiot. She loves her husband who just continues to enable this behavior? WTF. After finishing the story it is no better. "John" (OP's husband) has the responsibility to protect his spouse, especially from his parents and siblings. John is failing hard at this and needs to grow a spine. Enabling his awful family's bad behavior is not acceptable.

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

Nah. The husband is doing something but because he didn't do it the way YOU want now he's scum. 😂 Sit down.

[@paulineisme]

She thinks that him ditching his new wife for his shit family only half of the holidays (for this year ) is an extreme compromise on his part.

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

@paulineisme and the only person op has an issue with is thr brother. Yet everyone else has decided op doesn't know what she's talking about and the parents are in on it too. Classic. Women is to irrational to know what she's talking about right?

[@ChazzleDazzleVideos]

Lol I haven't talked to my brother in over a year because I was tired of his bullshit. The last straw was when my partner a very gay man made a joke about gays because we both have a self deprecating sense of humor. My brother got all up in arms and was on my partner about how he could say something like that... I was like it's a joke dude. My partner said to me "you are trash, I am trash, gays are trash... then started laughing and that set my brother off apperently but he is one of those sjw types and it was a good reason to get him out of my life. It was good for both me and my partner because I am also autistic and will randomly say things like saying I love that little fat man when I saw Stavros halikas on TV and things like that get me yelled at by my now estranged brother.

[@Sorchia56]

I INFORMED my husband’s family 7 years ago why I won’t be coming around anymore. They are mental and I don’t have to be around that. My hubby finally saw them for who they are and was apologetic for how he “missed” their behaviour towards me for 25 years. We went to counselling and it’s been the best decision we ever made. I never once have said he can’t see his family, I’ve encouraged him to at least visit for an hour. It’s me they have an issue with not him. (I come from generational wealth, always worked for my own things though. They thought once we were married they’d be getting expensive gifts and trips around the world paid for by me! I did mention they are mental!).

[@calebcardinal3867]

“Don’t contact the police it’ll just make him worse” What that’s not how the police work dude. You’re thinking of your family and how it’ll affect your parents not your wife that’s insane

[@Rj-ij6ko]

Story 1: The fact that literally ANYONE is supporting Op’s POS BIL is just…shocking… Op’s husband REALLY needs to grow a spine i’m sorry. Like…even if we ignore the fact that BIL destroyed Op’s wedding dress…he also sent inappropriate pics to Op…his brothers wife. (also just a little tidbit: no, Op’s in laws are NOT “good people” cause if they were they would have put their foots down on this issue)

[@morgandouglas6014]

After the pic, I would have given the ultimatum that anything short of going full no contact with the brother-in-law and telling his parents that we would not be going to any family gatherings where the brother-in-law is present is grounds for divorce.

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

Nope.

[@CooperGal24]

"I'm NOT confrontational". OK, but what if Brian did FAR WORSE to John's wife, like R*PE or PHYSICALLY ABUSE HER!? John SERIOUSLY needs to "Man up" and BE the husband OP *NEEDS* and not a "People pleaser" or "Pacifist". Dude, Brian's ASSAULTING and HARASSING *YOUR* WIFE! You're letting a bully CONTINUE to torment and abuse you after you got married! Either you do something about this with your wife and parents, or risk LOSING it all in favor of "Being non-confrontational" and "Keeping it peaceful"!

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

@CooperGal24 ok. And making up what ifs does nothing but muddy the waters further.

[@SewardWriter]

​@@ZaxTax-h8t I still wouldn't put it past him. Have to wonder what kinds of trouble parental money has smoothed over. Keep in mind, the original post is four years old. The whole issue is hopefully moot by now.

[@rosealicia1782]

Had this show up on my notifications and thought it was weird cause I mistook 'Carrie'd' as 'carried'. Then when I saw the thumbnail I understood.

[@RagingWoody74]

Good movie

[@rosealicia1782]

@RagingWoody74 Heck yeah!

[@EsotericRavenclaw]

Story 1: Isn't throwing paint on someone a form of assault? Same with the dick pic. OP needs to set better boundaries with their partner. A partner that allows this is hella unhealthy.

[@morgandouglas6014]

Exactly. At this point it’s time for the ultimatum, and that ultimatum is “even if I do not call the cops on the brother-in-law, he already ruined our wedding by dumping paint on me, but after sending this (the inappropriate picture) to me the only chance in hell I will not immediately contact a divorce lawyer is if you agree to go full no contact with the brother-in-law and tell your parents that neither of us will be going to any family gatherings where the brother-in-law is present”.

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

You act as if he's openly inviting his brother to do this and also conveniently ignored what op said at the end. You don't care about the story. You just want blood and could care less who's it is.

[@fdm2155]

Yes, the family is clearly covering for Brian. OP's husband needs to resolve his own issues so he can take a more sensible approach to his family. His parents obviously aren't going to do anything. They've failed both sons by not getting Brian the help he surely needs.

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

@@fdm2155 and yet op never oncrd mentioned that and you just made it up in your terminally online head.

[@NaliTikva]

He's been abused himself, your just sexist and lack empathy

[@ouieu4044]

How and why is it funny to destroy someone’s wedding dress ON THEIR WEDDING DAY?

[@RagingWoody74]

People are jerks...

[@YourWaywardDestiny]

The brother is living up to the kind of person I have come to anticipate when CSA trauma isn't properly treated. Which is weird. Both because the pattern of inappropriate responses and actions is so clear and how I've managed to meet more than one person with this in their background.

[@GregPolkinghorne]

The car story, its not likely law school debt. Here in australia, the cost of university isnt as high as the USA (my medical and science degrees were $72k for comparison) and the debt is managed through relatively low interest government loans that you dont need to aggressively pay off. We do have a huge rate of problem gambling though.

[@Taecoconut]

Story 2: it’s in Australia, we don’t have to start paying our “school” debt until we make over a certain amount & if you make below it again, they stop. It’s usually about $80 per month is the lowest from memory so it’s not school debt. Most likely gambling, over spending & drugs. (Lawyers tend to do that here in AUS)

[@Snailman3516]

In the last story, OP is a saint. He is throwing a lifeline to someone who probably needs it. Had OP not done this, chances are his sister eventually gets into a crisis she can't get out of alone. Now she has someone in her corner.

[@artumousgrimm9662]

I started listening to your podcast a little over a year ago, and I started with the first episode on spotify.I can proudly say that I am finally caught up, at the end of today, I will have listened to every episode that you have so far. Thank you rslash

[@AttackofPugs98]

Story 1, the husband needs to grow a spine and protect his wife from his brother. He's not going to stop unless there are serious consequences. I'd also send the pic to the parents and tell them to control their son

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

Wife could grow a pair herself and take action. 😂 But I guess it's to hard for a women to pick up a phone huh?

[@thalianox2492]

My bf said the same thing, saying that couple's counseling isn't going to help him grow a backbone that will help him protect his wife

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

@thalianox2492 so your bf is an expert because he says so huh?

[@AttackofPugs98]

@@thalianox2492 I feel like at some point the "I don't like conflict" is no longer a valid excuse. Sometimes there are scenarios where you have no choice and protecting your kids or your spouse is one of those scenarios

[@NaliTikva]

What if it was the wife whose brother was abusing her husband. What if the wife got abused by her brother as a child? Would she also need to grow a backbone or are you sexist

[@nintendo-nut1]

"She asked why I cared and I got upset and told her because she taught me to." That hit me like a truck, god damn.

[@Gashnaw]

Vandalism, sexual assault. Get the cops involved. He is doing this, WHILE SOBER!

[@shawnsteenbergh3081]

I've listen to every single rSlash since the start. I'm still dumbfound how people act the way they do. Thanks for the videos. I listen to them everyday at work and at home. Some people are so "special." Keep up the great content.

[@Tammohawk1]

Last story: I understand where OP's mom is coming from. An affair child can be a slap in the face.

[@ianmacfarlane1241]

What a rollercoaster. #1 story - awful brother. Last story - wonderful brother.

[@immortalmangafan7155]

Story 1: She may do everything to stay with her husband till the end but would the husband be willing to do the same?

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

1: yeah no as soon as my spouse tried to save his brother from consequences of assaulting ME on MY wedding an annulment would be the next day

[@WhoEustace]

so i see people talking about the dress and how that's considered a destruction of property (which it absolutely is btw, no matter what kind of pain it was, if it was in a bucket it was thick enough to ruin that dress forever), but as someone who used to paint a lot i'm even more concerned about OP's health. paint is by no means deadly (usually), but that doesn't mean it's safe. the fumes alone can lead to some nasty consequences (never-ever paint anything in a completely sealed room, open your windows people), but since the paint was THROWN on her, it could've gotten into her eyes, nose and mouth, and then it would cross the line from destruction of property into harming a living person, be it intentionally or not. she could've gotten pretty serious irritations and honestly was pretty lucky to avoid any health issues (unless she left them out of the post) his past be damned, that guy needs to be locked up in either a prison or a clinic, his choice. being a survivor never gives you the right to become an abuser

[@TheVirtualFashionista]

Oh no, that last story is so sad. That poor girl... I hope OP can make her life a little better.

[@alanalirkani]

Story 1-I hope OP and her husband can work through their issues and it SOUNDS like John is finally waking up a bit. But I do worry that divorce is going to be the only option. John has been effectively aiding and abetting his brother's harrasment and cruelty since AT LEAST their wedding and I worry that's not going to change. Yes, not making OP go to his family gatherings (and possibly telling his mom why) is going in the right direction, but John is such a pusbover that I worry his resolve to keep his wife safe is not going to last in the face of his family. OP, I know you plan to stay with John and have no plans to divorce, but I would have a divorce plan in my back pocket, just in case. I'd also have plans to call the police in my back pocket as well. Be ready to not be talked out of calling the cops either, ESPECIALLY if you actually plan on staying with John for the long haul. And be prepared for at least SOME backsliding, that's normal to some extent. I just worry it's not going to be just SOME backsliding

[@silverflight01]

Story 2: He can't even argue inheritance because he's the ex of a granddaughter, not an actual grandson. Well good thing the cars went to someone that would actually appreciate them

[@Runner656]

For the lawyer story. You pay off most of your student loans in the first year articling especially in commercial and insurance law. His debts are elsewhere 😂

[@theoneguyoverthere]

Fine, I’ll watch the video! Just stop jumpscaring me with a Carrie thumbnail every time I finish watching a video already!

[@philopharynx7910]

Story #1 BIL created the problem, and he needs to fix the problem. If the parents can't bear to be away from their darling on at least one of the holidays, then they are saying that this is okay. BIL won't change until he has to. Story#4 This is the true spirit of family.

[@thegameplayer125]

op 1s husband better start getting more assertive about this situation before it escalates considering unless he stops the issue with his brother, the bil won't stop with his actions

[@The_Late_Great_Hannibal_Lecter]

The way I died inside when he made an inadvertent but unmistakable Sex and the City (movie #1 specifically) reference in the title and also name checked my bae Stephen King in a disrespectful manner 😅😢😂😮😊

[@gamerz1172]

Last story: You know one thing we can respect the dad for is admitting OP is a better man then he is Like atleast he isn't deluding himself that OP is a jerk or something for doing this to 'spite him' like many other assholes Might have

[@LucyAdroit]

Missed the apostrophe and thought OP was literally being carried down the aisle

[@arrow9182]

Story 1: First off I'm not going easy on the husband because he's "shy" and "hates confrontation". His brother threw paint on a wedding dress, which on average isn't cheap either financially or sentimentally. They should have sued for that alone. Also sending an unwanted nude should have been an immediate call to action no matter the context. Honestly I'd be mad at the parents, but beyond the paint situation, I'm not completely sure if they know about the harassment and demeaning. As for the brother, I have 4 letters for him WHEN he gets punished - S.O.S.B. (sink or swim b**ch) Story 2: I guess just like police officers, lawyers shouldn't be in debt because they do stupid stuff like this. I mean does the guy not know that people do research when spoken to by a lawyer who doesn't serve? Story 3: I'm writing this before I hear it... But if they think your being a jerk about not letting them stay with you... "THEN WHY DON'T THEEEEEEY HOUSE THEM" After hearing the story - oh my God they actually did do it themselves 😮 Story 4: I'm not mad at how op's mother reacted because in all fairness the girl ccsd a reminder of her husband's infidelity so the fact that she isn't doing anything actively horrible is where I'll give her a pass. On the other hand, the father who made this child ccsd a butthole because he's basically basically ignoring the child. I won't forget the fact that the woman is an adult but still he can't just outright ignore family. OP is a good person.

[@changejenn14]

First story I would have walked up to the in laws at the wedding and yelled at them.

[@hmspretender]

Story 1: OP needs to know that they are NOT on the same page. They may be close to it, but the fact that he is willing to abandon his wife on major holidays to spend it with his abusive brother and manipulative parents means that she is NOT the most important person in his life. Unless something changes in counseling I don't know if she'll ever be his true #1. IMO that was not a happy update. A positive-ish one but not happy.

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

K, you obviously can't read a story without adding tons of your own insanely biased views into it. Come back when you can act your age. 😊

[@lokilaufeyson7035]

@@ZaxTax-h8t come back when u r not a clown

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

@@lokilaufeyson7035 just proved my point. Thanks genius.

[@theaslam9758]

@@ZaxTax-h8t bro how about you actually explain yourself so the rest of us can understand your side instead of just insulting him.

[@SewardWriter]

​@@ZaxTax-h8tNo, no, you are 100% from Clown World.

[@melaniehoran8529]

You send that explicit picture with your in-laws. Hopefully they understand what wrong with Brian

[@SewardWriter]

I can't help wondering if BIL in story #1 is furious that his brother got married first, and is taking it out on OP. Either that or he sees her as one more person he can assault (in his mind, "have fun with"). I've known guys like this, who went through similar trauma. Sometimes, they buck up and improve. All too often, they turn into cruel incels or other bullies.

[@mushroommagic1697]

I thought the same thing. Brian was spoiled and enabled because he was traumatized as a child. This is one of the worst approaches when dealing with a person who was sexually abused. He should have been put into therapy for his own good and for the good of the people around him.

[@bbustin4602]

John won't stick up against his brother because he is also a victim

[@annecantgame]

Walked into a shit show of a day for work this morning. I get to be the boss for the day, this came up half way through my shift. Slash please make this day better 🙏🏻

[@pretzelicious4200]

Last OP has a major saviour complex. Sheesh. It's shitty that your dad doesn't wanna help her but he's right, she's not his responsibility...

[@oceanspace7671]

Last story made me cry. OP is an mvp

[@HazeX2]

Dude in the first story admitted his fault and this guy and the comments still hating on him. Even agreed to counseling

[@niyanna]

Because he was too late. Its good hes trying to do better now but when these things happened he wasnt helping.

[@mushroommagic1697]

Story 1. OP LEAVE NOW, YOU'RE IN DANGER AND YOUR HUSBAND IS USELESS. The family of the future spouse should be a deal breaker in a relationship. If the family you wanna marry into has either a mama who is too attached to your spouse (her son) or spoiled children and if your future spouse allows them to mistreat you, and turns the other check around when you are humiliated or abused. DON'T MARRY INTO THAT FAMILY! You will have a life of being made fun of, of being treated as lesser than, made the scapegoat for everything, abused. You are not worth the stress and drama. You are too amazing and gracious to be a scapegoat, you deserved someone who loves you and stands by you, not an useless coward who wants to keep the peace.

[@MisfitSass]

1st story OP's husband is a spineless wimp, he continuously shows he doesn't have OP's back and is just enabling his family's treatment of her. OP's actions don't help either, not that she's doing badly; she is trying to communicate her concerns in a loving way after all, but it's that very same soft approach which will lead to things will just continue as they are given the scenario. Op should really give her husband an ultimatum, either he sets boundaries and cuts out his shitty brother, even if it sadly means avoiding his parents because their brother is around, or she leaves. She deserves better than staying with someone who doesn't try to support and protect her when she needs it.

[@wildblue0]

Story 2: This feels like gambling or drug debt. He’s earned what’s coming for him.

[@sarahserenityqueen117]

Jesus.....the first story.....for OP's sake, I hope things work out for her and her husband because honestly her BIL is on the way to being a psychopath.

[@BrokenxMorals]

Story1- was hubby secretly hoping his creepy bro would harm his wife or something? Otherwise wtf, bro?

[@j.kelsey9926]

Law school debt is the most toxic debt ever

[@LiveLocallyNow]

Last story…wow I hate OPs dad. What a total loser.

[@lahlybird895]

Oh wow it's almost like treating people as if they're burdens and being a decent person to them is a responsibility you are forced to go through and as soon as you're done not doing it because it's not your problem can be psychologically damaging to Fed people Who would have thought

[@stangace20]

OP in the first story should get a divorce, her husband is NEVER going to have the balls to be 100% on her side no matter what his POS family does to her!

[@BiggerinRealLife]

The BIL assaulted her physically twice and over the phone once, and two of those scenarios are ones her husband put her in. Wtf?

[@psplay6181]

Anyone else thinking that the marriage in story 1 is going to break

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

No. Because real life isn't reddit.

[@mushroommagic1697]

I think it will end badly because John has his priorities on safekeeping and enabling his pos brother.

[@ZaxTax-h8t]

@@mushroommagic1697 no not really. But please keep making up scenarios in your own head.

[@watchdealer11]

Bryan from the first story sounds like the king of losers. Like Jerry from Rick and Morty and Chang from Community. What a LOSER! 😂

[@CodyJonesXD]

*If There Are Any New Updates To The Last Story, Please Upload A Video With The New Updates!*

[@mechamanw668]

John, your parents aren't the issue here. It's Brian she has a problem with

[@liamlockheartart7560]

S1: Call the cops if youre being sexually harrassed. If they'll do this to you they'll do it to others. John sounds like a complete pushover. It's disgusting that he kept forcing OP to be around his family. Absolutely pathetic that he let it go on so long. OP deserves better. Not saying "oh break up," I'm saying that John needs to work on himself and his self worth. He should have been supporting OP calling the cops.

[@davidmikek1713]

Gotta love a gift of full set of Expanse books

[@mr.scarlo2234]

I hope that everyone is having a good Monday!

[@mrlugh]

Last story: I'm not saying OP is wrong, but what i find interesting is that typically we hear about these kinds of stories from the partner who had been cheated on, and the ex begging them to take care of the affair-child. And while the child is innocent, typically everyone agrees that the cheated-on partner has *NO* responsibility towards that child in any way. Maybe what makes this story different is that the couple didn't split. The father is certainly scum, essentially getting away with a triple betrayal (cheating on his wife, abandoning his child for his wife, causing drama for his son). OP's mother... I dunno. If she had left him, no one would bat an eye on her feelings towards the affair child. But, we can judge her for staying (and rejecting the child)? If my memory/math is right, the affair happened when OP was 7. That's a tough situation to be in for you and your child. does she work? I'm not really sure anyone who hasn't been what she's been through is in a position to judge her, in particular OP. Sure OP may be disgusted with his dad now, but if his mother had left the father when he was 7, OP would be an entirely different person now with different values and feelings about the situation, maybe even resentment towards his half-sister for "splitting the family" as often happens with young children. and it's interesting, because no OP has to make the same decision his dad did: the sister or his mom. I'm glad _someone_ is helping the sister, but i'm not sure I could give the mom a butthole score. I'd need to know more about her.