r/Choosingbeggars Hiring 1 Full-Time Slave - NO PAY. Apply Here 🥰

[@rSlash]

If you're thinking of applying to the $0/hr job, IT'S TOO LATE BECAUSE I APPLIED ALREADY If I get accepted I'll have to quit this channel. Does anybody want it?

[@etgph6197]

Me

[@dwagonrider8673]

Me

[@fugglytv7880]

DO SOME TIFU NOW!!!!

[@gravityfalls2200]

Why would I turn that down?

[@pumpkinplayer6578]

Ill take it because i aint got nothing

[@javierpena2141]

I want to see one of thode "requirement to be my GF" with 1 talk to me 2 sing whenever you want 3 do NOT dissapear when I take my meds

[@pollyesther1243]

the last point was such a plot twist.

[@Unknown-xk5uk]

Prada D I know right such a compelling character arc

[@shinyumbreon8984]

If a girl does exist for that guy she is probably going to kick his butt

[@Frostfern94]

It took me a while omfg XD

[@A_Rose_From_Concrete]

Wait... what??? 😂😂😂

[@SmithYorkinster]

I love how the requirements for "girlfriend v.2.0" go from shallow and mysogenistic to full on psycopathic starting at number 12.

[@emmamackin7751]

I have that guy on fb and have 19 different versions it was funny

[@iminediamonds]

like I hate feminists but this guy is so misogynistic I can't disagree with them for once lmao

[@Zangoose5]

To be fair, I genuinely think the entire post goes from shallow to psychopathic After “girlfriend v2.0”.

[@blayruniverse4682]

Shallow to psychopathic, the last one made me laugh tho, "and finally, hugs and kisses every day"

[@Takokujin07]

@@blayruniverse4682 It’s like he got angry while writing it and then remembered he still wanted to be loved LMAO

[@KitsuneNoMeiji]

I think these "influencers" are mixing up the term "influencer" with the phrase "under the influence".

[@doomfry680]

Underrated comment

[@NivMizzet89]

Or possibly 'influenza' since they're sickening.

[@peppa2089]

@@NivMizzet89 I CANT WITH THIS COMMENT 😹😹😹

[@goosegoblin3759]

@@NivMizzet89 magic the gathering niv mizzet? And also lol nice one

[@JasperFoxo]

definitely.

[@milodoesntknow2090]

"I want the perfect girl who's pretty and is my slave and an oBjEcT"

[@B14z3rather]

thaaaaatts correct

[@ilumie9779]

@tlessmo If robots are ever able to gain sentience I bet his mechanical girlfriend will be the first to do so, just so she can get the hell away from this walking red flag!

[@WolfyFancyLads]

This guy clearly never heard of hookers. Cos that's the only girls he's ever gonna get. And even then, they have better standards.

[@imitationporcelain]

He wants a girl that have a lot of free time to be with him all the time and that he can boss around but also have a good job to help him financially ...like the audacity ,basically a free cook and house keeper and a walking atm with no self respect 😑

[@JasperFoxo]

.....⬛⬛ .....⬛⬛ ______________ (👁👁) 💪⬛⬛🎷 ⬛⬛ 🦶🦶 the gf the guy wanted lol

[@jamesnorman9160]

Love how they say they're desperate for anything - even road kill - then say they're only interested in low-fat organic, etc. If you were that desperate you wouldn't add that onto your post...

[@girlswithimagination370]

Also, I believe it is illegal in some states to take roadkill

[@jamesnorman9160]

@@girlswithimagination370 Why the hell would anyone eat roadkill? That's literally been pancaked on the road by god knows how many people. xD

[@gravekeepersven82]

Ewwwww

[@speedy01247]

Roadkill could have rabies as well, the number of people who survived rabies without getting immediate medical attention is less then the fingers on ones hands.

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

To be fair road kill IS organic and free range.

[@crdnls1]

Choosing beggar: you said you'd draw anything I wanted!!! I want a miles Edgeworth and Phoneix wright drawing! You're legally required to do that! Op: *OBJECTION!!!!*

[@virgowarrior6511]

Do you know the ops account

[@jaspr1999]

I"m not too clear on the whole 'Influencer' thing but that deal with the pink butterfly jewelry sounds amazing! Who wouldn't jump at that offer? As for the list of qualifications for a girlfriend... Jeez, what kind of person thinks they're ready for a relationship of any type if they're that self-conscious? Has this jerk ever even met another person?

[@adzz8012]

neckbeard niceguy... he sports a fedora and says "m'lady"....

[@dustyrose192]

I would reply with my own list of things he had to do in order to be my bf just to mess with him

[@molly.dog8brooke792]

Not self conscious; controlling and abusive. He sound like he wants to control every part of his GF’s life and eventually isolate them from her family and friends- so, HUGE red flags. It doesn’t take much to go from “don’t have guy friends” to “if you hang out with anyone but me, I’ll break up with you/hurt you/hurt them/hurt myself”.

[@truehoomanhere6230]

@@dustyrose192 Honestly I'd like to do that too (the exact same list but for him, I doubt he would appreciate it)

[@ilumie9779]

@Call me Eszter * 'his' mom/dad (sry)

[@GarlicBreadJesus]

Here’s MY girlfriend requirements: Be honest with me. Enjoy pizza at 2 am. Nap time. Care.

[@-kiwiflower3783]

what kind of pizza

[@GarlicBreadJesus]

-kiwiflower anything with triple the cheese and breadsticks.

[@canigetawater]

so close, I only enjoy ice cream at 2 am

[@lukiotemmi]

I fulfill your requirments! There is only one problem.... Im a straight guy

[@GarlicBreadJesus]

@@lukiotemmi Hetero-Lifemate.

[@krab1791]

Wedding Invitations aren’t $5. They are much less, It is the meal and to a further extent the facility & music that add up to the costs. However, it is NEVER acceptable to tell people what you expect people to gift you. People should always give according to their means regardless of what the bridal couple spent.

[@dubious6718]

For the last wedding I attended I got a verbal invitation, so it cost them zero dollar No, I didn't buy a gift as they didn't want anything

[@brandonnyberg5733]

Lol I’ve never bought a wedding gift I just throw like 20$ in a card ahhahahha

[@sierrasouthwell9237]

I mean, it IS acceptable to tell people what you expect to be gifted. It's called a registry

[@Lyndiloo]

Professionally printed wedding invitations, including save the date cards, and RSVP cards, for 100 guests will cost $500 average. Nicer paper, gold foil font, printed envelopes, you can easily hit $750 for 100 guests. If you're *demanding* $250 gifts, you're definitely buying fancy invites. *Most* people won't spend that kind of money on invites, though, and it's just as you said that the facility, meal, and services are the major costs. And that is why I got married in the back of a pickup truck during a crawfish boil for free. Highly recommended.

[@seanl7804]

IIRC, I think my wife and I spent less than $150 on invitations on about 50-75 invitations. 11 years ago, hard to remember exact numbers.

[@markokrstic8795]

"You must have a muscular butt and abs" Something tells me this guy wants a guy but is too scared to come out of the closet.

[@markokrstic8795]

@The Plague Docter Oh, nice. Just what i needed. My neighbor has corona. Can you skip his house, he's a prick.

[@markokrstic8795]

@The Plague Docter Oh, thanks dude. He keeps burning shit and the smoke keeps going to my house.

[@Kiterpuss]

He wants a muscle head guy with severe attachment disorders and "nice boobs"

[@charleslebowski8878]

The Plague Docter can you skip....like my whole family? they’re trump lovers and are racist and homophobic.

[@Mogijup]

Marko Krstić I was so confused until I read the username lmao

[@dracko158]

CB: "You'll be rewarded handsomely for it." Also CB: "This is an *unpaid* position!" OP: "You gotta be kidding me. No thanks." CB: *Surprised Pikachu Face*

[@dracko158]

@NANCY ! 22 y.o I WANT SЕЕХ !!!! OPEN MY VIDEO !!!! You shouldn't even be doing this on here.

[@marcmllebro1609]

Dino Dracko jZøf

[@owoster]

Made me laugh

[@ashleysmith1276]

@@dracko158 Mmm, seex.

[@whatsrandom6487]

Why are you always here as I see you on almost every comment section on this channel

[@xerusume]

5:27 39. Must not complain about domestic violence

[@stevenschnepp576]

I doubt she'd complain about beating him.

[@thunderflare59]

Well that's a given.

[@ThatOneAnimeChick64]

The guy wants a muscled up girl who could bend him like a pretzel. She will be the one beating his ass

[@danielgehring7437]

I love how one of the requirements is "do everything I say." Well then you don't need the other requirements, do you!? And it's not even at number one on the list! Plus there's just so much overlap: separate points for working out, working out your butt, working out your legs, working out your ankles (!?!), etc. No no, when I go to the gym I only use the one machine that works my gluts and literally no other muscles.

[@siukong]

Yeah like imagine there's some woman who somehow meets all those requirements (already a fantasy scenario, I know), except she doesn't have muscular calves so it's a dealbreaker. That would be like finding a winning lottery ticket on the ground but then going "too bad one of those numbers is my unlucky number, guess I'm not going to cash this in"

[@derguenter6257]

but only working one group of muscles is kinda unhealthy too.. just sayin - that can cause joint and spineproblems later.

[@danielgehring7437]

@@derguenter6257 Right, but he didn't have to list every muscle group individually, lol.

[@danielgehring7437]

I think you're underestimating the number of drunk people online who are willing to follow shady links they found on KZbin profiles.

[@the0siren0of0night]

Him: "32: Must treat me like a king" Me: "So... Charles the first of England then?"

[@lisakaz35]

I take it your last name is Cromwell...

[@the0siren0of0night]

@@lisakaz35 well...he didn't specify which king...😅

[@clarabp2613]

More like Luis XVI of France

[@antonesbjornsson]

@@clarabp2613 ggustav the 3rd of sweden

[@Sunsin97]

Edward II of England would also be a good pick

[@oVlqd]

Petition for rSlash to make a video with his own "choosing beggar"/"entitled people"/"I don't work here" etc. stories!

[@tacolord7734]

Yes

[@tacolord7734]

I agree

[@justbored12347]

Yes!!!!!

[@maieen2665]

Yeah, for his 2M sub special!

[@CarnivorousConnor]

Got my vote

[@andrewhanshaw5646]

The guy with the list must have self-esteem issues if he needs to force a woman to always be with him (sounds like my brother lol)

[@Frostfern94]

He's a narcissistic prick though XD

[@pewpewman._.3415]

He sounds like an incel .

[@AdelTheForsaken]

That person ONLY exsits in his imagination forever alone for real!

[@mariapaz6379]

Must work out every day, work everyday and be at home to cook every day. That list is a joke

[@sleepychicken6185]

@@pewpewman._.3415 Or ... NECKBEARDS!!!

[@15oClock]

My revised list for being my partner: -Must like me. -I must like them. I'm easy.

[@PrettyGuardian]

This is basically all that matters.

[@DamnItMantis]

Same here

[@jailee6438]

Requirements to be my girlfriend: 1: be human.

[@expressodepresso5909]

Sht sorry dude but I'm a sentient rock

[@silsilahwationg8908]

2:not a murderer or a drug dealer

[@adylaar6708]

2. Not a karen

[@hentiluvr1579]

How dare you assume my race!?

[@RETRO-DEV]

@@silsilahwationg8908 thats me off the list then... :(

[@neilprice513]

Requirements if I ever get a girlfriend: LOL 1) Must like me. 2) We get on well together. END as anything else is a bonus

[@buzzyboi1037]

Mine would be: 1. Must be female (optional)

[@keh1396]

It's become a ritual for me where I just lie down, close my eyes and listen to rSlash. Truly amazing Edit: I'm relieved that we're all the same here!

[@khloi2150]

Same

[@MartinsApinis89]

Same here

[@kagegamer5719]

Almost the same but daily I don't watch much until I watch rslash for the day

[@RadioActiveDragon]

Honestly same. His voice is pretty calming and easy to picture a story in my mind

[@just_jack3309]

I wake up at nine for that exact reason

[@Jennifer-jt9cb]

When I got married, I printed out my own invitations. I had a small wedding with somewhere between 30-40 people there. The invitations weren't anything super fancy, because my computer at the time wasn't anything special (it was 2008) but everyone loved them. Some told me they thought the invitations were extra special because I completely designed every detail myself. I even personalized them to everyone by printing their names on them to my wedding. I went the extra mile to make it as special and memorable as I could. I still watch the video of it just to remember how exactly amazing it was.

[@renakaskie4928]

That's so sweet, omg. 🥺

[@ipsygypsy16]

Shoots. don't have muscular calves... missed the opportunity of a lifetime. :( :(

[@nero.unleashed]

☹ better luck next time

[@loafie_bread]

Man, I feel bad for you, that dude sounded like a total catch.

[@prettypleasewithsugarontop4858]

I don’t have abs I’ll cry myself to sleep tonight

[@iminediamonds]

yeah guy sounded like hes never gonna treat you as a slave right???

[@ninjasiren]

That finding the girlfriend one, gosh high standards much, with misogyny.

[@iminediamonds]

I am an anti feminist but still, this guy is super misogynistic

[@JustADioWhosAHeroForFun]

To he honest, who will fall for that? Imagine having a job with no salary

[@xmarkiexmayhemx2200]

Ur name annoys me

[@WhoRUTalkingAbout]

Only those people or want to be slaves

[@r3m221]

unpaid internships -_-

[@kaiahshae1815]

Off topic, but wholy crap, is your picture a edited photo of Saitama?

[@boredok6664]

School

[@AnonYmous-mc5zx]

Just as a note, if someone threatens to kill themselves as a guilt trip for something, you can report that person to the authorities who will then collect said person and admit them to a facility on the guise they pose a danger to themselves.

[@jackhasdream-z7932]

I've been listening to your channel every single morning for as long as this channel has been up. Thank you so much rslash, for being apart of my morning, your content really brightens my day.

[@TheOutlaw2847]

Same! Can't believe to see a comment from a vet of the channel.

[@xmarkiexmayhemx2200]

Same

[@WhoRUTalkingAbout]

Till the end of time √ 3 months X

[@malaksalemm]

veterans all stand up!

[@andrewkelly3702]

Same here

[@RoanNebunescu]

Well, simply put, that guy is never going to have a girlfriend for the rest of eternity.

[@mah7961]

Unless he pays for it.

[@dhi_holo9341]

You messed up a bit with that last post reaction, Mr R. A US 9-5, when viewed from Ireland's timezone (as given in the post, a difference of 5 hours), would be 2-10(pm for both). The US is GMT-4 to -7 I think (might be further off, trying to remember all your timezones is a mess, especially with DST), while Ireland iirc is GMT+0/+1 when DST is around. While you get a sleep in, it's unpaid work into the late hours. Still fairly yikes

[@jrussell4370]

I thought that too. i talk to my parents in Illinois from the UK from time to time and always gotta remember they are earlier than me. If it was paid, waking up at noon would be a great starting time...

[@Forest_Fifer]

East coast is GMT-5, west coast is GMT-8. I had to attend an online training course a couple of years back, which ran on East Coast time. It included US and European staff. It was odd ending the course at 10pm, with all the Americans saying "what are you doing tonight?" to which my answer was "going to bed".

[@bebhinnbell1510]

When he said getting up at 4 am i facepalmed as it had just said in the post that us is 5 hours behind and not ahead

[@vrenak]

Indeed that just makes the hoours worse as it completely destroys any chance of spending time with family/friends in the evening, sure you have the morning off, but everyone else is busy then. it's a shitty schedule.

[@tyanabullock1528]

That guy with that girlfriend requirements let me sum it up: Must let me control her whole life and and HOT

[@Zamolxes77]

Considering women draw up similar lists of impossible man standards, I see nothing wrong with it. Equality.

[@ellycantsleep5838]

@@Zamolxes77 both are equally awful

[@Zamolxes77]

@@ellycantsleep5838 I did not pronounce if they good or awful, just equal.

[@alphatwist2191]

CB: you have to be my slave with 1 meal a MONTH no going out 1 water break a day and you MUST do anything I say Pay: You Owe ME money

[@Karen-kl7yc]

My precious angel needs a job so hire him now

[@RuyVuusen]

@@Karen-kl7yc My human meat factory would be happy to hire him as a "product producer". The pay is a generous $100 000 per kg, delivered to his person of trust. If you are wondering why the pay is so high, it's because this is a rising industry.

[@Karen-kl7yc]

@@RuyVuusen Yes I accept

[@RuyVuusen]

@@Karen-kl7yc Okay, please refer to the previously stated email for more info, and we can get him to work as soon as next Monday!

[@Karen-kl7yc]

@@RuyVuusen Yes I will right now

[@Culvey]

Honestly, that deal of getting 12 people to buy the product at a discount and you get your item for free is an amazing deal for low-end "influencers" like those asking.

[@enderteimant]

3:26 For a second I thought rSlash said: "Requirements to be my girlfriend virgin 2.0" and I chuckled for 5 seconds before commenting this

[@8bittChess]

I see what you did there.

[@McLeanAmy]

"If you have to beg, you're not an influencer." Very well said!

[@UniTheNstall]

Requirements to be my GF: 1: Be alive 2: Be a woman 3: Don't be a choosing beggar 4: Don't disappear when I wake up

[@cloudfan228]

5:dont steal my kidney

[@stevesand8845]

This makes me think about about what actual “requitements” I would have if I made a list for potential girlfriends 1) not be a drug addict, or at least be willing get help 2) must be female (cause I’m straight) 3) non-smoker preferable 4) must be open to having vaccinated kids. 5) must believe the earth is round and old 6) must not be brainwashed by Donald Trump 7)not a racist, homophobe, or bigot in any way I think that’s pretty realistic

[@mohammedalghannam6879]

Sadly some people will still have one of the nos that you picked

[@melwhite2023]

naw bro this is a super normal realistic list. literal 90% of random girls you could just point to on the street will fit this description and then some

[@lomax343]

4 - 7 So - you don't want a US citizen, then?

[@styphonuk]

"Meanwhile it's a full-time job that requires you to wake up at 4am" Got the timezones backwards. You would start work at 2pm and finish at 10pm.

[@seacucmbergirl5765]

7:06 - 8:48 If you're an influencer on tik tok you get the quick block

[@korycharter6175]

This guy has a list of 36 things as requirements for his girlfriend I don’t want anything but cuddles

[@meganfenton856]

I know what you mean, it's like he expects perfection while the rest of us are praying for someone who will tolerate our BS! Although I will say this. I do require my boyfriend be male and legal, JS.

[@daniellediller5070]

@@meganfenton856 I'll concure the legal, and adult part but I'm very open to all opinions lawl😏

[@otterinaballgown3703]

Cuddles are so important! Love the wholesomeness of this comment.

[@WolsworthPS4]

5:20 I really hope that the post is satire because no way is anyone going out with that person. Plus jesus are some of the things said just show how dam insecure and controlling the poster is(if post isnt satire)

[@sierrasouthwell9237]

I mean, at least he's upfront with the red flags. With some guys you have to wait months to notice these kinds of things.

[@WolsworthPS4]

@@sierrasouthwell9237 yeah, that is true. Some people seem kind at first and then after 3 months, you notice their true colors

[@stevenschnepp576]

It's a satire of girls' dating profiles and their list of absurd requirements.

[@reverse2358]

1:19 God I feel so sorry for OP. I haven't had anyone be as much of a jerk as those CBs when I did my art raffle, but damn that looked like I might not do any art raffles anymore. I hope OP does well with art!

[@jacobcooper2659]

3:50 just the way the guy wrote #10 and the way you said it has me dead xD

[@nyamcallister7208]

requirements for being my gf -exist -be a girl -be living -idk... breathe air? im out of ideas man -so hows it goin yall -yeah im about fine i think, a little warm but, what can ya do right? -summer man.. summer.. -summer sucks -but i guess its better than late spring. no pollen! -pollen also sucks -yknow my favorite season? -winter -i like the cold -and snows pretty nice too -i especially love christmas -i like making people happy, yknow? -and i like giving myself the challenge of figuring out what people want -i especially love figuring out what people dont know they want -like, one year, i gave my mom potpourri -because she loves scented candles and inscense -so i figured she would love potpourri too -and she did! she still uses the stuff to this day -idk the fact that i gave her a thing that she loved so much that she uses it to this day is just -it makes me happy -what makes you happy? -it doesnt have to be anything deep, yknow? -maybe playing video games makes you happy -or watching youtube videos -or drawing -or working on cars -if you read down this far, id love to know what makes you happy -and if you're in a bad mood -maybe it will help you feel not so bad -so yeah -my big opinion on things is that for some reason society doesnt.. respect the idea of small frivolous things making people happy -its gotta be big and deep and life defining -and if its not then, you shouldnt waste your time -i dont believe that -whats life if ur not doing the things you love -even if the things you love consist of petting your dog and binging netflix -its the little things, you know? -let yourself enjoy them -so that was my little lesson of the day -hope it helped someone down there

[@alfieab4932]

I couldn't stop laughing when the woman said she would be taking her own life 🤣🤣🤣

[@woos057]

The guy with the requirements for his girlfriend remind me of Chris chan who has a similar list of requirements. Both can be glad if they ever got one

[@luigines6457]

Heck, they'd be lucky if a girl (if they fit their requirements or not) would even consider them after they've seen that post.

[@heyitzbabygurl4025]

3:32 - 5:16 This is how not to get a girlfriend. Take notes everyone!

[@viperaputakeyteaparyou8237]

Just for that remark, I think you put yourself out of that guy's list 😔

[@heyitzbabygurl4025]

@@viperaputakeyteaparyou8237 I think I would clearly be off this guy's list a long time ago. Plus I'm actually a lesbian.

[@viperaputakeyteaparyou8237]

@@heyitzbabygurl4025 Fair enough, ahahah

[@middysart]

it literally makes me so sad to see someone treat an artist so poorly :(

[@broke_af_games9661]

The graphic designer struggle is real. I bailed on the career because everyone wanted the service but nobody wanted to pay. 3 years of college... Recession was a bad time to graduate.

[@Telemergion]

That one guy with the girlfriend list MUST BE real lonely

[@augustsmols2413]

Can we just take a moment to appreciate rSlash's lil rap at 6:26 ?

[@shinebrightgaamez4329]

Bars 🔥

[@mrl9418]

CB : "Only entitled Millenials ask for a paycheck!"

[@heathertulip2389]

Honestly, that offer for influencers who get a coupon code for their followers AND will get their purchase refunded if only TWELVE people use it?! That’s an INCREDIBLE deal, I’m sure many small-scale influencers in the earlier stages of their career would be THRILLED with an offer like that! It’s a win-win-win! Everybody wins!

[@ruzacharou8021]

Am I the only one who says "every singe day" along with rslash at the end of every video?

[@meganfenton856]

You are not... I also follow it with "I know you do!"

[@loafie_bread]

nope 👋🏼

[@mh27400]

Most people would say "every single day", not sure what a "singe" day is

[@alternativebassist]

9:10 I’m almost certain this Karen knew what they were doing lol

[@scourgemcedgelord9263]

Requirements to be my partner: 1. Be a cat 2. Be dead 3. Be in Warriors.

[@mikhailgorbachev7851]

@Goat I think it's reference to something but I can't think of what

[@zacharygilmore1075]

@@mikhailgorbachev7851 So Scourge wants either Firestar, Tigerstar, Yellowfang, Cinderheart, or one of many others as their partner.

[@Roamer145]

I did custom printed wedding invites for my wedding. Ordered them from a local photo printing service. It came out to $0.15/per invite. 200 invites, so a total of $30.

[@coralinaverissimo5392]

Me watching the requirements to be that guy girlfriend: wow that's a lot to process...Oh my god and they keep going...someone make it stop!

[@Bitna01]

Right?! I was thinking to myself "Oh my fucking god. When will this end?!"

[@coralinaverissimo5392]

@@Bitna01 1.68

[@TheN3onDragon]

USA : 9am - 5pm Irish equivalent : 2pm -10pm

[@hrk2]

Haven't watched the video yet but I know its great

[@howwired5656]

Agree with that

[@averyjackblack7420]

Lmao yes you're probably right

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

11:00 for the guy who lives in Ireland (you did your 5 hours time difference in the wrong direction if the employer is based out of the East Coast of America) 9am in New York is 2pm in Ireland.

[@mikea491]

"...We're artist." Eeyup, see where this is going.

[@gamingwithmax7873]

R/slash’s voice talent is so good and weird at the same time, I love it!!

[@USSBandit]

Rslash 39. Must have to pay child support if my GF leaves me. 40. I'm single and I don't need a GF.

[@RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber]

Wasn't too bad when that CB was asking for fresh roadkill. My dad used to have a deal with the sheriff of the small town he and Mom lived in: Someone hits a deer, the sheriff gives him a call to collect it. Easy cleanup, instead of having rotting carcass on the road, and free meat for Dad. Deer meat is really healthy, too! Then CB started going on about the hoity-toity specific requirements, and I noped on out of her camp.

[@alex6187]

5:20 with everything that guy said i think he needs his mom desperately

[@Marsmuncher]

That final one had me laughing. The USA company basically outsourcing it's attempt at slavery...ridiculous.

[@MaxWolfe17]

4:30 the way he words number 19 is weird... Who does he expect to come with him on a date if she was his gf (as if he'd get one lol)

[@michelleprieur1]

You took the words right out of my mouth. I rolled my eyes so hard at that list I think I saw out of my own ass, but that one legit confused me. "Must come with me on dates"? Uh. As opposed to what? 😋😄

[@rubiefrog536]

I put these stories on to listen to at night when me and my Mom work together from home during this lockdown . My mom is a bit of a Karen sometimes ... she’s not a bad person or chronically unpleasant to spend time with ... it’s just now and then she can become a little verbal about things and situations that are rather normal, average and/or acceptable/understandable in today’s society. Now she doesn’t think she is a bit of a Karen (obviously) . But non the less, since I started listening to these stories with her , she stopped acting like a Karen . It’s like your stories makes her think twice before she acts . Our favorite stories include “choosing beggars” “ Entitled parents” and “ I don’t work here lady” . Lol anyways thanks for all the awesome stories .

[@radenprasetyo8234]

4:59 must treat me like a king? Can someone give him a french girlfriend?

[@birdie5029]

The "see ya!" was savage 😂😂😂

[@rosepuppy1984]

1st one: huh? Lol how can someone who says they’re willing to eat *roadkill* be so picky? It’s honestly funny. “We are hungry enough we are looking for roadkill...” we only eat fresh organic or wild green and fruit and berry and meat.” But *_roadkill?_* Something tells me that if someone tells the, where they can find some nearby she’ll be like “ew no what am I a hobo?”

[@bretsheeley4034]

I'm sorry. We will only consider gluten-free vegan roadkill options.

[@mads855]

Are you kidding me! The first story was posted to my local FB group!!!! I'm dying 😂😂 she even posted to our local homesteading page I'm a member of and asked for meat and was being really sketchy. I remember I laughed and thought it was so sketchy.

[@aceoverlord650]

no views wtf how did i manage this I just refreshed youtube

[@basszombies450]

3:26 Ive seen lists like these a few times on r/niceguys. but this one definitly takes the cake. how can someone be so full of himself that they are THAT demanding?

[@Teraclon]

03:28 I feel as if this person must be joking. If not, then he should be removed from other humans ASAP.

[@MunchieMunches]

Gotta have respect for a man who wanted a Ace Attorney picture drawn

[@ArcanineEspeon]

Not this man.

[@josephstalin6327]

The damn KZbin notification has failed me for the last damn time Edit:it took three minutes

[@xmarkiexmayhemx2200]

Well time to restart the Soviet Union

[@josephstalin6327]

Mikasa in the Soviet Union we have instant notifications

[@xmarkiexmayhemx2200]

@@josephstalin6327 comrade

[@josephstalin6327]

Mikasa this reply chain is blyatful

[@rosepuppy1984]

11th post: lol no CB. *pulls out uno reverso. This is the real world darling!

[@shadowwolf8434]

Dominos decides to bend the knee and simp for misandrist Karen's Karens: THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH I WANT SOMETHING ELSE

[@stoppickingurnose7852]

9:21 $250+??? Who are you marrying, Christian Grey? I'll leave now.

[@lycansoot]

Requirements to be my partner: Don’t be toxic Be human Have similar interests So, basically anyone, but I’m 13 so not yet I guess. *THIS IS A JOKE AJSJSJSJS*

[@ballisticbunny4]

I’m almost 20 and that’s exactly what my requirements are.

[@sauvagess]

3:30 tfw you listen for about 6 points, tab away to check on something while waiting for the next entry, get caught up in something funny, and come back literally 90 seconds later just to realize it's STILL GOING.

[@alistorexeprimexiii6973]

5:24 one of my fb friends knows this dude. He drew her some... interesting muscle girl oc's

[@bucketzpaw1141]

Rule #37, Must be my slave and most likely be in a SERIOUSLY TOXIC AND MOST LIKELY ABUSIVE relationship!

[@junhanhk]

29. “Must act feminine” 34. “Must not be a feminist”

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

Its good he specified he dosent like feminists because he sounds like he'd have to fence them of with a pole otherwise.

[@skippy8696]

The stereotypical 3rd wave feminist isn't very feminine though, so this isn't a contradiction?

[@Tamara-ju3lh]

@@skippy8696 feminine and masculine are subjective words. So it depends on the century (men used to wear lace and were still considered masculine), country, religion, etc. I grew up in a church who thought pants weren't feminine but also banned makeup. Makeup is seen as feminine by a lot of people but wasn't by the religion I was in. So again, the term is subjective, especially in a historical context.

[@ScooterBond1970]

"Terms & conditions apply." 🤣🤣 Also, that poem: 🤣🤣 again

[@love4unme96]

The list of girlfriend requirements. The one was super got me was 19. Must come on dates with me. Like does he mean a three way date? 'Cause that could get real weird.

[@ms.skinderella9814]

Honestly the best part of these videos are your laugh. It makes me smile everytime I hear it because I know it comes from genuine shock from ridiculousness. 😀

[@thevoid3852]

My requirements for a gf: -Must be female (optional)

[@rosepuppy1984]

13th story: OK FOR THE GAZILLIONTH TIME!!!! EXPOSURE AND EXPERIENCE DO *_NOT_* PAY THE BILLS!!! THIS IS NOT YOUR IDEAL FANTASY LAND WHERE IT DOES. THIS IS THE *REAL WORLD* WHERE *ACTUAL **_MONEY_* IS WHAT PUTS FOOD ON THE TABLE!!! Shocker I know. And in what country does “part time job that rewards handsomely” translate to “full time unpaid job?” Not in America that’s for sure!

[@Beth_The_Bored]

Me: *listening to that list* Gotcha. You want a waifu that doesn't exist. EDIT: "I don't want kids! Humpfh!" "Must have kids is a *must*." Wait...did he just contradict himself or......?

[@ariadnefrolich7243]

He wants her to have kids with him and no one else.

[@hualni]

People really take the "There's no such thing as stupid questions, only stupid people" expression and test it's limits.

[@G_I_D_S]

2 minutes ago? Holy shit.. last time i came this early was with my gf last night.... 😅

[@IrishHeart]

HAHA nice!

[@Cat-nk5rk]

My list for a girlfriend 1. Woman (optional) 2. Do you like pizza or coffee? ( If not then more for me) 3. If you don't wanna date we can always be friends. ( If you want of course)

[@phantomkitsune010]

When they realise tiktok getting ban in United States and most of there's sound like they are from there it useless

[@lilychen710]

Rslash's karen voice is so good that at times I forget it is not a real female karen.

[@yashmandla1234]

I have one requirement for a girlfriend, witch is that she must be a dog lover ,

[@kenyettaready]

She must be a retired dog lover?

[@gibbodude]

@@kenyettaready no no yash is swapping his retirement for a girlfriend: a witch that is also a dog lover :P also @yash its 'requirement' buddy ;)

[@yashmandla1234]

My bad, auto correct is a bitch

[@kunimip8925]

Requirements to be my girlfriend: 1.Please don’t, I’m straight.

[@vexopia]

Here’s a story from my mum , She works with disabled people and helps them go toilet get out of bed + more But , that isn’t the story, she went to work one day and one of people she worked with wanted to paint his nails so my mum painted his nails and the manager got that day came in and started going on a rant that he isn’t camp gay or LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 so my mum started arguing back, and she said ‘we’ll all of you all are making him do it , he doesn’t know anything ‘ my mum started screaming at her , she moved house but she says it was worth it , (Sorry if this doesn’t make sense just ask me questions and I can just clarify )

[@darthzayexeet3653]

When Rslash read that 36 points long list, about this guys‘ perfect girlfriend I literally lost my shit. This „Gentleman“ must have the absolutely highest standards In the entire universe 😂