Raised Without Gender

[@hannahcampbell7746]

"why doesn't mika want to talk about gender?" because they are 5 years old and clearly tired of a gender obsessed household

[@mikestarkly9226]

You mean WORLD??!?!?!?!?! Most schools force children to label one-another gender-wise you get that right?! In the USA anyhow you have to have your kid at 3 years old knowing if a cartoon character has long hair and/or is wearing pink they are a girl, that if they have short hair and are playing with a truck it's definitely a boy. It's insipid and ignorant. But that's the world we live in- people don't understand the privacy of sex vs the arbitrary ritual of gender that is forced on people across the world. It's the worst in totalitarian countries but it's everywhere. The parents are working around that. They even say for the video they are just curious. I LOVED that part because it showed that the child doesn't really give a damn about gender (compared to most children brain-washed into shameful gender roles)- Mika was able to distinguish that it's frivolous and in the end was capable of saying "I'm MIka" aka Mika is Mika an INDIVIDUAL. Considering the fact that you have the same comment as at least 3 other people on here I'm guessing you have a hard time understanding what it means to be an individual in the truest sense. I really hope you do gain that though...one day. Sad life without it.

[@mr.howard1]

@@mikestarkly9226 "Shameful gender roles"... wow, you're really mixed up, aren't you? Maybe you should open your own eyes and observe how every other species on the planet accepts their "gender" and gets on with their "roles" in reproduction of their species? You brainwashed social engineering people are really a concern for the future of our particular species of primate. Forcing this stuff on children is toxic... let them figure it out themselves when nature calls. I used to play "doctor" with the little girl next door when we were five or six. We didn't know what we were doing... but we were both pretty interested in trying to figure it out! And we certainly were never ashamed. We were completely innocent... like all children, including these poor victims of Marxist propaganda. Our parents figured what was going on and gently discouraged the behaviour. No shaming, no hashtags, and I'll bet money there's many who'll read this and say "me too".

[@darcydrake6787]

@@mikestarkly9226 you heard what you wanted to hear. The very first question the kids asked was are you a boy or a girl. Not because they are taught but because they are confused by the presentation Mika is making to them. If they knew what he was they wouldn't have to ask. Do you ask a dog or a cat what they are? No because it's obvious. Mapa has an issue he is projecting onto his kids. Come back in ten years and check on this family and I guarantee Mika isn't falling for the political statement his parents made with his life!

[@hayden-croft]

Yes, it’s HORRIBLE to make your poor children try and take in all this information that confuses me (an adult) at such a young age. How are they supposed to understand any of that? At 5 years old

[@brandocalrisian7333]

@@mikestarkly9226 your an idiot. I am proud to have a gender role. Its not shameful. I am proud and happy and love to be a man I'm proud to love women I am proud and happy and love to be strong for a woman i love but the women i love would never shame me for failing to be strong for her at some point or crying or liking something contrary to a male gender roll. The thing is we dont have to fit into a gender roll but if we happen to its not necessarily shameful, it can be something to be proud of without being arrogant or a bigot or ignorant without having to push your thing on others. You calling a gender role shameful makes you a bigot actually.

[@ninjasylph]

I think avoiding gender stereotypes on toys and roles is good, but acting like gender does not exist seems dumb.

[@mas2108]

ninjasylph true

[@BeckyLooLah]

I watched a really good documentary called 'no more boys and girls' (IIRC) and it was fantastic. They tackled the toys, clothes and pet names in a UK school and it was fantastic. That is what we should aim for. E.g. you are a boy but that doesn't mean you have to be strong and you can't like dolls and pink things. Rather than ignoring the biological sex of a child.

[@irinthius9518]

@@BeckyLooLah Exactly. The whole thing should be about teaching kids that there are different sexes but not different roles or opportunities for these sexes. It shouldn't be about the possibility to change sex and pronouns everyday, like the family in this video does, you can tell that the parents' obsession with gender is really tiring for the kids

[@BeckyLooLah]

@@irinthius9518 You've hit the nail on the head there. A fantastic way of expressing it!

[@andreacoones1587]

I agree. I have always encouraged my daughter to play with or wear whatever she wants regardless of it being labeled as a boy or girl item. I grew up playing with a mix of everything, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. When she started school it definitely had an impact on her. She would tell me she couldn't play with or wear certain things because the other kids in her class made fun of her if it didn't fit her gender. I have to admit that that made me pretty mad... But she will figure it out when she gets older. All that said, I really think raising your child as whatever, neither boy or girl it can really screw them up. I don't get it. I really don't. Parents making gender this HUGE deal when they are children is to much. They aren't going to understand, especially when they get all of that backlash. You're raising your child to be a target for bullies. It sucks.

[@CrayLabs]

I'd love to see an update to these kids after they enter teenagerhood and see how this has affected them

[@crystalynnbearr]

Yes, and again in 20 years after they’ve joined the actual world

[@hedvigpearce5091]

@@aedt3kids are 10 and 12 now and very happy children

[@chickenleg8824]

That, I think, you’d call socially accepted experiments which can potentially ruin children’s lives

[@cleo5079]

​@@hedvigpearce5091what's their insta

[@Helena-ox7cr]

Was there not that one shrink why tried to force parents to raise up a bit baby as a girl after circumsicium accident. He was boasting a lot until finally facing the truth. It just did not work and that kid ended up killing himself in the end.

[@olgaskold6213]

When the kid ask "Do you always have to say that?" said it all.

[@dreacdreac]

Not exactly. When they said "I will have children living in my house. I don't care what they look like." that says a lot as well. Everyone argues with their parent, that's nothing new. Do you defined your relationship by one thing your child fought you around?

[@MirwenAnareth]

​@@dreacdreacActually, these two ("Do you always have to say that?" and "I don't care what my children look like." are two completely different things. The first comes from the fact that the child is led to avoid speaking about gender. Notice the clear discrepancy here, they talk about how they avoid the discussion, but then they ask their kid to choose a pronoun. How the hell is the poor kid supposed to know what they want to be called when they don't even understand what it means? They don't use "boy" or "girl", but they use pronouns... eh... The second comes from being taught to respect each other's differences. That part I find totally okay. But you can still respect each other's differences even when the concepts of "boy" and "girl" exist. If the point is to erase stereotypes, then I am of the opinion that this is going overboard. Because stereotypes do not equal gender. Gender is here to define who we are. "You were born with a penis, therefore you're a boy. It means that if you want to have a kid, you will need to find a girl and make some arrangements with her. It means you have these and these hormones and they will sometimes try to act up or give you unwanted cravings. This is how you can deal with it. If you don't like being a boy, that's ok, we can address that. We are lucky that we live in an age where it is possible." The thing is, if you remove gender, you remove a core element that allows you to understand your sex and sexuality. You can later redefine it for yourself and I think it's important that you are taught the possibility is there, but you need that foundation you can build on. These kids are given no foundation. They are thrown into a world where everything is fluid, led to feel unsure of their own identity. I don't think that's good practice. Being a mother, I can see how my kid craves stability. A kid wants to know what things are, how they are called and how they work. They are totally able to build upon that, but they need that base.

[@dreacdreac]

@@MirwenAnareth I was replying to the OP who said something "says it all." I think you're agreeing with me here when I say that it does not say it all.

[@MirwenAnareth]

@@dreacdreac Ah, I see. I think you took that "said it all" too literally. It seems to me the OP simply wanted to say that this is going too far. With which I agree.

[@milanabdfdfvbdf]

Yes, child is not comfortable with that, and most likely because he does not understand anything about the gender.

[@moonmomyeehaw1207]

I really want an update/ a future interview where the children are able express their thoughts clearer

[@redwerd2429]

@momento bruh true

[@sam9160]

Disgusting

[@imjisooandyoucantmarrymyso7718]

Exactly

[@fairy_bread_moon]

Wait what?

[@moonmomyeehaw1207]

Mr. & Mrs Smith idk why the comment chain took a weird turn like that. i’m not saying this is bad parenting or that the kids are gonna turn out horrible, i just genuinely want to hear the kids better express their unique experiences and feelings about their novel upbringing personally

[@PigIA]

Yeah, even as a trans person, this seems like crossing the line. The parents seem well intentioned, but they’re going about it all wrong. What you’re doing is making the kid care even more about gender by constantly asking them about it. 98% of the time, the kid is probably gonna end up embarrassed about this.

[@birdy369]

Totally. I feel like they could even have a fear of "choosing the wrong thing" some days. Like for instance, "oh I'm not supposed to be conforming to anything specific or else that will make my parents mad, I better choose this instead..." even if it wouldn't truly make anyone mad, but you know how kids can get to thinking. Alot of times they just WANT to please those they love most. Alot of kids WANT to be shown the way and guided through, they don't want to left alone to decide for themselves for fear of choosing wrong - even if there is no "wrong" choice - they don't know that because they're children and they've not had enough experience in life to know that yet. I feel that that's what's most forgotten in this sort of thing, the fact that children actually do need guidance and help with deciding things for themselves - even in places where we as a society feel that they shouldn't have to choose or conform to one thing or another... they sometimes still need that guidance and help in choosing. It's SO easy to make kids think that "if I don't do or say 1, everyone might be upset or I might be wrong if I choose 2!" Whether or not a kid has been "punished" or "praised" before for choosing one thing or another, they definitely form their own biases based on how they've seen others react when they've made a choice for one thing or another before, and they usually choose based on that - not on their own actual wants or wills.

[@therabbithat]

they don't normally ask them about it, the interviewer asked them about it, the interviewer acted obsessed because it's the whole point of the documentary. They talked about it especially for the camera crew.

[@shelley6477]

yeah I feel like they are ramming gender down their throats, rather than making it a true non-issue.

[@nasakhtar7087]

1000% everyday confirmations?? Mica was embarrassed there's so much attention around gender that that a boy/girl would not get! just let him get on with it....

[@Richa_cute]

I agree. Let's be honest. Pants are comfy for both genders because it doesn't have those wardrobe malfunction problems like skirts or frocks. They don't mean someone is a boy or girl. Same with toys. Whatever appeals you play with that.

[@lucydoherty5439]

You should do a follow up on this family in 10years

[@JimbosFarm1]

See them in their antifa gear

[@dedaveful]

I also would like to see a follow up

[@rikiforever420]

I too would love to see a follow up also. It would make for one hell of an episode.

[@23u32-c8s]

I'm shure mika while hate his parents for doing this to him

[@michaelcraig9449]

@@jbjb2217 NO it is not.. Dont say that, dont let it happen! This is very sick!

[@francisnicolas1819]

Interviewer: What are your favorite clothes? Child: SPIDERMAN

[@Dekoherence-ii8pw]

Spider genderless person? No, Spiderman. There we go then. Spiderman it is.

[@MadHatterTheMatter]

@@Dekoherence-ii8pw Dude grow up. It's Spiderman and human. Words are made up of other words. Do you need to go back to kindergarten with Mika?

[@lav-kitty]

​@@Dekoherence-ii8pwwow! you proved nothing! the child reffers to themselves as both a boy and a girl, and they say that no more than 2 minutes after they say spiderman. They may as well reffer to themselves as both a man and woman in the future, how does saying "spiderman" contradict with that?

[@renatad.2554]

Asking a child every day who they want to be must be confusing and frustrating for them.

[@mwenyamutale1513]

I agree

[@blackpinkonly3242]

THEY NEED TO BE SAVED ☹️☹️☹️

[@rott666n]

But forcing them to be someone they're not isn't..?

[@renatad.2554]

@@rott666n they are pushing the opposite gender without children having any signs of being transsexuals

[@Ninxren]

All they said was what do you identify as? They never said are you a boy today? Or are you non-binary today?

[@soyboy1944]

Very curious how thede kids will be in the future. Can we get an update video when they are in uni?

[@zid-ziddy-zid6821]

That would be trippy to see

[@jayxfrost8987]

Standing in front of the bathroom not sure what to use. Because they don’t even know their gender.

[@danaellis2823]

They are going to be fucked up

[@missaliceashley1301]

Dana Ellis No beause pink is not a girl color and blue is not boy colors they are just colors

[@danaellis2823]

@@missaliceashley1301 sitting there and telling your kids whatever gender they chose is okay if fucked and is borderline child abuse. Gender is something that you dont chose its something you are born with. I dont doubt they love them, but they are not being good parents by teaching them shit like that. The toy thing is whatever, but ignoring biolagy is crazy and dullisounal. There are only two genders, and you dont pick and chose what you want based on how you feel that day. It doesnt work that way. They are confusing their children. If you have a penis you are a boy, if you have a vagina you are a girl. There is no in between. People that are truly intersex is kind of diffrent. But even then they are born with either more male or female DNA. They don't flip a coin for it lmao. This shit is honestly awful. And this shit needs to stop.

[@wulfric7202]

"Why do you think Mika doesn't like to talk about gender" Me: probably cause Mika is five!

[@mtLarN]

Or maybe, Mapa gets a bit angry when Mika is deviating from the role "hen" should play... Surely, only behind the camera ;)

[@Carolineintoodeep1288]

ZenPhilosopher123 that can go both way they could ether turn out okay or be f up for life

[@dbm-yv1gl]

Probably coz he doesn't want his/her gender identity to be something important because he/she is looking at him/herself as a person

[@zacharydeangelis]

RIP headphone users at 3:55 🤣

[@jayxfrost8987]

Clearly Mika is cisgender boy (He was born as a boy and identifies as a boy). So, he's clearly annoyed when he gets called "hen" or "she" and asked every morning what gender he is.

[@karenbarth-vt7of]

During our childhood in a Catholic country in Southern Europe, over 50 years ago, my siblings and I played with the same toys. When my mother painted her nails we all asked her to paint ours, boys and girls, and she painted each of us one nail. Although the boys didn't wear dresses, we girls wore their clothes when they outgrew them. Today we are all straight middle-aged individuals.

[@NevadatheCornQueen]

I think it's good to instead of raising kids gender neutral, we should just allow all kids the same opportunities as each other. You make a great point, because how kids are raised doesn't entirely change who they grow up to be

[@KreativeKerri]

I agree with you both. I feel the toy aisles in the stores these days are ridiculous. Even balls can be colors of pink and blue. Its all about $ and marketing. Frankly, this has got out of hand. When parents are trying to be more neutral, they get backlash. Everything is political nowadays 🤢 when it doesn't need to be. Let's be a little more simpler. Live and let live.

[@down-to-earth-mystery-school]

Sexual orientation is different than gender identity though. Everyone confuses the two

[@borishudej691]

Exactly.. we also painted boys nails if they wanted. There was no indoctrination.

[@lav-kitty]

​@@NevadatheCornQueen that's what the idea of raising them gender ambiguous is though, so they can chose themselves. Not a hard concept really

[@Welp503]

I feel like sometimes people force their own insecurities on their children. Let children be children and don’t force gender roles on them. That simple. My son likes cars but he also loves the color pink, it’s not deep. Just stop bothering those poor kids.

[@cutey00miss]

EXACTLY

[@enbyenby5953]

EXACTLY

[@fujiwara4886]

true

[@penn_moore]

I Agree

[@angelamiller9583]

Well said. And it is very simple if you are grounded in reality.

[@WillBRich]

I feel like the parents are the ones obsessed with gender and it’s imposed on the children. Why not let them live their lives and if they decide to be a different gender so be it. Instead of asking them everyday what they want to be called

[@Shasha-gr9lb]

the more we blur the line between men and women gender the more peaceful the place becomes.

[@Shasha-gr9lb]

@Mi thats your opinion because you are close minded. just look at the africa the larger the gap between gender the more backward their thinking is.

[@angel_inur9536]

@Mi I agree 100% with you :)

[@genussmensch4683]

@@Shasha-gr9lb Wow! Thats quit a statement. Africa is a continent with many countrys of diverse culture,religion and social constructes..

[@Shasha-gr9lb]

@@genussmensch4683 still they have people dying from hunger.

[@sdlkjdjahlkhsd]

Mika literally doesn’t understand any of the gender talk, which is clear when he said “just call me Mika”.

[@mishianderson2669]

Also when the Vice lady asked him why he wouldn’t want to get his hair cut short he whispered “I don’t know why.” This is a horrifying case of manipulation at a young age, I agree with the playing with whatever toys they’d like aspect, but this is to an extreme degree.

[@ALABRASILIANA]

Right! I think it's too much pressure and at the same time too much freedom when children are clearly looking to you for direction. I kind of feel like mapa is projecting their own dilemmas on to the children.

[@acidicmarisa3755]

I know I could literally sense the embarrassed/irritated vibe whenever "Mapa" said this to poor Mika, like obviously he just wants to be who he is, which is a boy... and they are confusing the poor kid by saying, do you want to be called a boy, girl, or hen today?... Like wut....

[@charliedawson8509]

Exactly, I’m part of the LGBT community myself and this doesn’t need to be a gender issue, I just see this as kids being kids and if your son wants to wear a dress that’s just kids being kids that doesn’t mean they are trans or gender non-conforming.

[@sluggish._]

Not left vs right, nationalism vs globalism nikka

[@im.claire]

I love how all the kids play together, at my school the boys would never play with the girls and they only bullied them, and the teachers just treated it as something normal

[@nena041602]

And girls were told “it ok, they just have a crush on you!” So, that made it acceptable to be terrorized day in and day out

[@im.claire]

@@nena041602 exactly..

[@isabellawilson3948]

developmentally, it is normal. i love to see all of the kids get along though!

[@nena041602]

@@isabellawilson3948 developmentally it is not “normal” being mean and bullying is a learned trait. I never allowed my children to treat ANYONE mean or bully so they didn’t do it. They would have had consequences for their actions and they know it. So, it didn’t happen.

[@CrimsonMey]

If that's really true then there's something off about the power dynamics in your school. And 'everybody' is doing it? Wow. The older kids must be really great enforcers.

[@710MaryJane]

I wish you had interviewed teenagers that were raised without gender identity. I would like to know how they feel about that choice given to them by their parents. I have a 5y/o granddaughter, she loves to wear what she calls “twirley” skirts and dresses. She also wears jeans. She plays with trucks and dolls, climbs trees and jumps on the trampoline. We don’t ask her if she wants to be a boy or a girl. She is what she is. Had she been born a Hermaphrodite, we would have let the child find its own way, and choose whatever gender felt comfortable.

[@tedkaczynski3748]

Yep. My son got to play with baby dolls and I didn't make a big fuss when I caught him playing with make-up. And somehow..he still knows he's a boy. Because we never made a big deal of it.

[@omnilux8971]

That’s too logical for the mental health problems facing society as a global issue.

[@YouWillGetThereBuddy]

That's literally what they are doing dude... they are allowing their kids to be exactly who they want to be.

[@geminiwolf0077]

I agree with you, except for the part where you said "hermaphrodite". As someone who has done research on intersex, the intersex community has deemed the word "hermaphrodite" as offensive and would prefer people use the word intersex instead. As someone who is a non-binary male, I was also allowed to do whatever, though my mom did only give me clothes that were associated with boys, so it didn't really give me a whole lot of room to express my gender. When I came out to her, she dismissed my identity. I didn't feel like a boy, or a girl. I felt like a mix. Was I a boy that liked stuff, or a girl that liked stuff? I felt like non-binary was the right term for me. It's the language that I use for myself and wish for others to refer to me. I feel comfortable with the non-binary label.

[@jstanton4561]

YEEESS! Twirly skirts! Lol, I liked those into my thirties. I never grew out of some things.

[@morganlugo7413]

Raising children "gender neutral" should not mean that they can't be a boy or girl...or that they have to pick one in order to do certain things... Raising gender neutral should just mean that you don't stigmatize clothing, colors, behavior, or anything as being strictly male or strictly female. If my son wants the pink bike, grand. If my daughter wants hot wheels for her birthday, fantastic. Toys know no gender. Kids should just be kids and like what they like without the worry of "acting/looking like a boy/girl" when they are one or the other.

[@synder_sync7834]

I agree completely

[@momo-wp5mb]

Fr like they support the roles with this mindset. Why should they be less of a girl/boy only because the boy as ecample likes to sometimes wear dresses

[@justakid823]

I mean that's literally what the video is trying to prove. There is no attachment to dresses being girly or cars being manly within this family. We just perceive it as so because that's what society directs us to believe. In this family they don't define things as feminine or masculine, they just do.

[@momo-wp5mb]

@@justakid823 nope they asked the kids what pronoums they want, what gemder they are when they dressed "more feminim" or more "less feminim" which is still supporting the roles. Why should they ne less of a girl or a boy or have different pronouns (especially at such a young age) just because they like dresses or sometimes jeans.

[@momo-wp5mb]

Like why should a men in a dress ne less of a men if clothes dont have a "gender" or define your sex and gender identity

[@CleverAndWilson]

Kinda seems like parents are projecting their issues at their kids.

[@dawn4337]

Tracey Schroyer Well said.

[@gravityworks777]

I thought the same thing. The children were not born intersex but are being confused into thinking they were. This has all gone waaayyyyyy too far and is in the ridiculous zone. I feel sad for the kids, they never had a chance at being themselves or “normal”. Brainwashing...yes

[@paigeolfert3382]

I also noticed that the two male children were made to dress in traditionally "girl" clothes, but the female child wasn't made to dress in "boy" clothes.

[@smiley2477]

I feel sorry for the intersex parent but I don’t think projecting their issues onto children is the answer. I don’t have an issue with children gravitating towards male for female interests and eliminating barriers that this is only for boys or only for girls. But I have a HUGE issue teaching kids that they can choose their gender. Because this parent is intersex he can choose but for the rest of the population they are born as either a boy or girl. Even transgender people can’t truly change. They can’t give birth or produce sperm if they weren’t born that way. They can change their appearance with plastic surgery but they will never fully be the gender they choose.

[@mikestarkly9226]

Everyone does sadly. At one point or another. Everyone that forces their kids to worry about whether they are a boy or girl (beyond knowing they have male/female genitalia) is projecting more serious issues onto their children. The people that rather tell their son he's a girl because he likes barbies and dresses- that's a person that's probably embarrassed that a boy would like those things because they are so close-minded they think a penis should stop them from liking that stuff so they say "sure you're a girl-whatever- at least I'll have a cult following because you're 'trans and trendy'!" THAT is definitely projecting issues. Telling your children you love them for who they are as individuals- that their clothing choices, what colors they like, if they like dolls vs trucks- that's natural and healthy and unconditional as a parent's love should be.

[@lullanie]

The parent seems loving and well intentioned. But I don't think they realize that they may be projecting their personal experience on their children. As a parent, It's easy to fall into the mindset that you can't give too much choice to a child. But the reality is that too much can sometimes be as damaging as not enough.

[@laurapowell7040]

This.

[@cathy7382]

Men and women should be different when you do away with any sort of roles for children and boundaries you cause damage to their basic identity as boys and girls

[@jenniferschumaker2986]

I think that any potential over correction in trying to free our children from the enormity of gender roles is far less potentially damaging than the situation we all find ourselves in regarding deep-seated and constantly reinforced gender expectations.

[@HeartChannelInsights]

Absolutely.

[@mariatrombin704]

Every parent "project their personal experience on their children".

[@lina6335]

So I was a really "boyish" girl. And my parents accept me who I was and what I wanted to be and what not. I wanted to wear clothes from my big brother and had always short hair. AND I never questioned if I was a girl or a boy. I wanted to be ME. So I think that's really problematic when you ask children in such a young age what they are. I think they really doesn't care they're just wanted to be themselves and be loved.

[@mirkwoodphotography2089]

Apparently the term “tom boy” is a gender now lol

[@mirkwoodphotography2089]

That’s the only way to identify lol

[@liamwinchesterchasten2229]

Well said

[@ogminor]

I was the same way! I still liked “girly” clothes and hairstyles, but always preferred to play with “boy” toys growing up, like transformers and hot wheels. My parents were always very accepting of this, and looking back I’m so thankful I was given the ability to choose and have a great childhood experience… I don’t have anything against someone trying to figure out who they are, but this concept would have been wayyy too confusing for me at that time and probably frustrating.

[@Thatonepigeonslilbro]

Same here my mom and dad knew i liked more boy things than girl things so they would mostly treat me like a boy because thats how i wanted to be treated and my older brothers treat me as a boy to.

[@sicksadflower]

Mika literally said “why do you always ask that” he’s tired of hearing it cuz he’s a CHILD he wants to play not change his gender

[@peacheskong2245]

Poor kiddo. Isn't this a form of child abuse? I wonder why none of the women who would go crazy about a child getting spanked aren't getting crazy over this.

[@PandaAlexful]

Mika is tired about being asked a question not for being forced to change genders. Mika just wants to be Mika.

[@mikestarkly9226]

She's not trying to change his gender lmao. People who are close-minded get scared if they don't know what "gender" (aka sex) someone is- and that's creepy btw when you really think about it-when it comes to kids- unless you need to know as a doctor or similar. The world demands that we have a bi-nary gender system (trans people are part of it- just doesn't implement their genitalia)...It was a PERFECT moment and answer by Mika- that Mika IS Mika! Proves they are doing it right. Raising their kids as individuals not cogs made to produce more cogs. Not "Yes Cindy you're a girl and need to play with barbies and babies because you're meant to work up to being as beautiful as you can so hopefully a good man will stick it to you and you can have more beautiful babies and he can fix the car because girls are too stupid to do such things and are made to be human sex dolls and baby sitters!" XD Oh"little Jimmy you must not wear a skirt- we all know a skirt will make your balls fall off- and you need to be ready to go to war and be a fighter because that's what men are for- or at least to bring home the proverbial bacon. If you are a soothing individual that likes to wear make up you stop it- you don't deserve that superficial freedom because you were born with a dick!" Does that really sound better to you??????

[@C.I366]

Yes maybe he can hear that and back off a bit

[@Sims3Loverx]

Elliott Valentine most times in this video the child is called he. Including by his own grandmother. If their gender seems to be interchangeable in this video than the op isn’t wrong for referring to the child as ‘he’.

[@allysonreneeelyse]

The kid who said "playing with everyone is the most fun" made me wanna cry, what a sweetheart

[@lordhallibel3604]

They dont know how trash everyone is

[@ArquaticDreamer1994]

as an identifying nonbinary man just imagine not being to be traumatized by the fact that boys don't wanna play with you becuase you're a girl just the fact that you're born a girl therefore you must only befriend other girls in school. why?!?! why is my innocent childish friendship somehow worthless to you or not good enough simply because I'm not in a boy's body? fucking stupid if you ask me. at least these kids can enjoy playing with everyone regardless of their sex.

[@sarahwnyc8080]

SAME

[@crystlelakefarm1254]

​@@lordhallibel3604 Well then perhaps everyone should stop acting like trash

[@katalinszabo3687]

when we obviously knew who was a boy and a girl in kindergarten, we played with everyone and had fun. I don't understand why you are so moved by this that you have to cry, because kids do this as kids in kindergartens without erasing their gender.

[@Samthefrogking]

I like how half of this interview is just the interviewer having fun with kids lol

[@nikiwordweaver3498]

The older child is literally showing signs all through this that he is uncomfortable with the constant gender discussions. You can raise kids to be open to all of this without pushing it onto them. You can let your child love all colors, play with all toys, and role play in all situations without gender being referenced. Time and the child will tell you what they want in terms of gender and sexuality. I have a son that played dress up. We didn't show any more attention to that than when he played with trucks. He grew up to be just fine as the gender he was born as. Parents need to stop making this so confusing. These parents are the ones confusing these kids.

[@Ljounieh]

clearly!

[@Ljounieh]

I absolutely agree

[@rulerthelion860]

I agree. This type of upbringing could even make the kids turn into LGBTphobic adults because of how much they have been bothered with the gender topic when they didn't even ask for it

[@emmamarkel8410]

Exactly! Call them by what's in their birth certificate, let them play with what they want to play with, and don't insinuate that it makes them any less of a girl or boy. It's funny how by trying to avoid stereotypes and gender as a whole she actually made the stereotypes worse.

[@TEM14411]

The child appears the most uncomfortable in front of mapa...and seems to want to please mapa. All child long for approval and acceptance from their parents. The dynamic mapa has created feeds into that need from the opposite angle.

[@eriley7809]

Liking “girly” or “boyish” stuff DOES NOT DEFINE YOU AS TRANS/BINARY/ NON-BINARY ect Saying in general

[@karolinedyer3391]

THANKYOU

[@abbythings]

@all the 10 year old tomboys out there

[@cringeweebooo60]

The comment I was searching for

[@justalostlocal]

So much YES That's gender expression not assigned gender or sexes.

[@aporue5893]

it's possible for a girl to wear trousers and still be a girl

[@that_randomsimmer7094]

Please let kids be kids. Don't confuse them about gender when they are kids. My brother played with whatever he wanted, and it wasn't about being neutral, it was about him playing with whatever the f he wanted to, being a child. Just because a boy plays with dolls and girls play with trucks it does not mean that they might not identify with the gender that they were given, they might have other interests.

[@nataliyasattarova9423]

completely agree! often children like toys because of shape or color - i liked fire tracks as a kid, cause they were bright red. i honestly loved everything red - balls, books, clothes, shoes. they making too big a deal out of kids interests in specific toys

[@_HimToo]

Right, the same people saying gender is a social construct & it doesn't matter are the ones making the biggest deal about labeling people! It's so absurd. I can't even believe how big this has gotten considering how ridiculous & laughable it all is. It is really effin dumb!

[@theincrediblegeneral5135]

Correctamundo

[@orion8835]

Yes I agree. Toys are vastly different than intersex dynamics going on. It’s disturbing.

[@Ljounieh]

Yes!!!

[@emilybeaty27]

This is very similar to how my husband and I raise our kids but with one glaring exception: we use pronouns and our children know their birth gender. My son knows he's a boy. But he's a boy only because his anatomy says so. He can be a boy and like pink (and he does). He can be a boy and have long hair (and he does). He can be a boy and have dolls (and he does). He also has trucks and cars and legos. He can like or do whatever the heck he wants. But he knows he is a boy. I guess to us your gender is just what anatomy you have and not what you like or look like. Instead of eliminating gender, we are teaching our kids that it exists, but it doesn't define you.

[@Elmagocusca]

There are several contradictions and logical fallacies in your statement. It seems that your confusion leads you to erroneous conclusions. As a parent and adult it is your responsibility to guide and lead your child not for your child to lead you and do whatever the heck they want. That is justa a recipient for disaster. We need to give children structure and discipline. This is why the West is in the moral and ethical decay it finds itself in. The West is so permissive that it now has widespread legalised prostitution, pornography, bestiality, homosexuality, extreme and cruel abortion practices, the legalised killing of vulnerable people through euthanasia etc. The concept of gender fluid ideology was constructed back in the late 60s early 70s as a result of the work of Dr John Money and his abuse and mutilation of David Reimmer. In fact John Money is the person who coined the term "gender" so there is no more socially constructed concept then tender ideology and fluidity which the trans movement is promoting heavily.

[@skylarkgypseasylvan2727]

Same. Our boy and girl both know what gender they are and know that inanimate objects and activities do not have a gender. My boy is misgendered every time we go out largely due to his long hair but we politely correct people (because our son has asked us to tell people he is a boy) and let them know he’s a boy.

[@mariarivera8123]

This comment gave me a new perspective on these topic and I really liked it. This is what I want to do with my kids when I get older and decide it’s the time for having them. Thank you so much to you and your partner for inspiring me ❤

[@zonesquestiloveunderworld]

That seems like a great approach to have. You can't deny gender but it shouldn't constrain you.

[@jasminvomwalde7497]

I agree with you but to achieve this freedom for your children heavily relies on the state institutions like kindergarten and school to also adopt this view and act accordingly. In Sweden it seems to be possible but in other countries the group pressure will start getting to the children from kindergarten on. And children spend a lot of time in those institutions and with their peers. Don‘t underestimate societal pressures.

[@Azr721]

21:56 the grandma seems to know something we don't know. She hinted that the kids want to be themselves but are pushed to act as their parents like

[@Eclipse-mf6hc]

Yeah...

[@elsabernthal]

Exactly, grandma knows what's up. I really feel for the kids. The are deprived of just casual childhood.

[@sabifirpo]

I don't think that's true, I believe she's just expressing her own beliefs which are probably far more "traditional". And ultimately she said she was worried that the kids would be bullied, which is fair. I think she's just scared.

[@ryanthomas9306]

@@sabifirpo no she said if your mom gives you a pink toy, the kid will like it

[@cthulhufhtagn7520]

"Of coure we're- *i'm* worried about that"

[@fadheelm]

Dear Vice, please go back to this family again in 10 years

[@universome511]

This is not a family

[@xokeke5868]

@@universome511 yes it it

[@Anonymous-js5zn]

How about, "Dear Vice, remember when you went to North Korea?"

[@simonextra9689]

@@universome511 why?

[@universome511]

@@simonextra9689 family is a mother and father taking care of there kids

[@lindsay_carv]

Mika doesn't like to talk about pronouns because Mikas exhausted with the constant talk of gender identity

[@blackfire1146]

True, It seems too much ambiguity might confuse the growing and impressionable kids as well as being too strict.

[@a.fee-oh1328]

Hahaha you caught that too?

[@caco3966]

They might now know what they are right now. For the longest time I hated people calling me female/she but I didn’t identify as transgender. I didn’t come out as nonbinary until I was a little older. I really hate things Categorised by gender

[@lindsay_carv]

@@caco3966 So do you believe it is better to raise children referring to them as their sex but also letting them know its okay to not identify as that, or to refer to them by nonbinary pronouns and names from birth? Personally i believe the first option is best. Although there are many people who do not identify as their biological sex (if that is the correct term) majority of people do identify as their biological sex. I believe that when people raise children as nonbinary they forget to teach the child that its okay to identify as the sex you are assigned at birth. However I would love to hear the opinion of a nonbinary person. I'd also just to like to clarify that I'm not trying to pick a fight, I realize that when it comes to talking online intentions are often misread and I don't want that to happen😂

[@wolfblue9390]

@@lindsay_carv You raise kids based on their sex/gender at birth. This cannot change. There are no third options, such as non-binary. Furthermore, intersex is a condition, not a sex/gender.

[@Jacqueline1859]

This seems more about the adults than the children? Am I wrong? (I work with children)

[@ryanduggan6738]

The children are given more choice to be what they want to be without the constraints of gender norms and stereotypes. So yes you're wrong. Watch the video. They're simply treating everyone equally.

[@annika9930]

​@@ryanduggan6738don't attack a polite person, that is not polite

[@PAIN-my]

They're showing aggression to anyone that doesn't agree with their view on the topic.

[@Bodave12]

They aren't giving them a choice as sole people are saying. They aren't even teaching them that their is a choice. When your given dresses and jeans and dolls and trucks from the time your born you don't know any different your not making a choice.

[@EquineHorses_official]

Your right

[@rubyfroggatt6853]

I think the best way to raise children is to not obsess over their gender. Let kids be kids, let them dress how they want to and play with the toys they want to. I think it is too much for children if you ask everyday what gender they are. Instead of gender neutral and obsessing over it I think it is best to raise them without a focus on gender.

[@tedkaczynski3748]

Even the kid asks "do you have to ask that every day?!?" 6:48

[@Cami_mer]

Yasss

[@ameliab324]

Exactly

[@MyrdindeLeeuw]

But maybe it's necessary to obsess over it in order to make a change

[@ameliab324]

@@MyrdindeLeeuw I would say it would be true if obsessing on it just meant talking about it on and on to other parents and being super proud of it. But if obsessing over it means constantly asking your child what gender they are instead of just letting them be, than it's harmful, not necessary.

[@RaeLarz]

I am a woman, and comfortable with that identity - HOWEVER, I grew up preferring cargo pants and baseball tees. Occasionally dresses. I liked dolls AND cars. I think once people begin to understand that gender has nothing to do with gender expression / likes / dislikes / preferences / behaviors / etc, everything changes. I believe gender is so much more societal pressures than an actual difference. Plenty men are "girly" and plenty women are "masculine" (and not only the gay ones! I'm gay myself and am feminine). The only real difference is anatomy, but more importantly, how you feel in your body when being called a certain gender. Everything else is learned semantics

[@nomifreimixes]

love this take!!! xoxo fellow feminine gay 🧡

[@dragongirl2032_]

Interesting take, but I disagree. Sex is the biological aspects, while gender is how you express yourself and your sexuality. It is appearing as masculine or feminine, and it is inhearently sexist as it links certain traits with men and women. However, I do agree with you when you call it learned semantics and I also think that everything should be more fluid.

[@ravelojedagarcia3347]

nobody is questioning that someone can feel good with a gender. THAT FAMILY AND OTHER PEOPLE IS QUESTIONING THE IMPOSITION OF IDENTITIES TO CHILDREN. AS YOU CHOSE THAT KIDS CHOSE EVERYDAY WHAT THEY WANT BECAUSE THEY ARE FREE, AND THE LOOK VERY HAPPY WITH THEIR CHOICES. In a cetain moment THE UNIQUE PROBLEM will come from SOCIETY🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌

[@paulanewhouse4252]

You just put into words what I wanted to say. I agree with you 100+%. Thank you!

[@giftofthewild6665]

Exactly. I'm a woman but I like masculine activities. Doesn't mean I'm not still a woman. I'm still a her, I'm still female, I don't have any desire to mutilate my body. I can still enjoy all the masculine activities I like without needing to change anything. The world is very open now, I don't understand why people think they need surgery.

[@Chanceisafoodie]

My parents let me play with whatever type of toys I wanted to, dress how I wanted and cut or don’t cut my hair how I wanted it. That’s because it made me happy but it never had anything to do with my gender. It’s a shame that clothing preferences and personal interests have to somehow effect your gender.

[@prettygirlleanna1]

Exactly, why does liking cars or nail polish make you a boy or a girl? Why can't a boy use nail polish if he wanted to? Its sad really and seems more backward than progressive.

[@SatisfieDaily]

That's just the norm everybody's use to its not going to change wtf

[@xanderthecharmander8365]

Personal expression is NOT gender! I feel like parents raising their kids gender neutral always get it confused.

[@scarasara]

@@xanderthecharmander8365 I agree 100%

[@nikolanikic2045]

@@xanderthecharmander8365 those parents just want some attention, regardless of the damage it imposes on their kids....

[@basakturkmen9236]

Kids dont really decide. They try to choose the things that the parents are happy with. Mika is trying to please Mapa, who is having an issue of gender identity because of his/her physical condition. But Mika seems like he feels like a boy but doesnt want to express it openly because wants to be like his Mapa. Kids copy our behaviours, they dont really choose. In the doc, the Mapa asked "I ask Mika if I should call she or hen". Maybe in another question, Mapa added "he" but I think Mapa is not really neutral. Mapa showed Mika a girl's dress and said this is good. He didnt let the kid go and choose. Mika is extremely uncomfortable about the gender issues because he is sooo confused. I think he is trying to figure out what people expect from him, which answer is true in his social environment. I feel so sorry for him and his brother. They say if a child is abused, he doesnt know how to express it. And I think this identity crises which is hand made in these childrens's lives is a kind of abuse in my opinion. I just saw how much Mika is uncomfortable with all these identities and he is confused.

[@llamapajama7840]

Amen Yes ! The problem is that man/woman teaching little ones before they are grown and adult to make such a decision. Ridiculousness! A d abuse 100 %

[@katiesunshine5921]

Exactly true!!!!!

[@jasminvomwalde7497]

I‘d not say it‘s clear Mika is confused. If I was being filmed and had at least 2 (interviewer + camera operator) strangers in my house and be asked questions I‘d be shy too. If the parents really pushed a hard agenda the kids wouldn‘t have so many „male“ toys don‘t you think. We have only seen a really small part of this family‘s life.

[@virginiasanchis1717]

Mapa is gender obsessed and is going too far with Mika

[@ramblchat55]

i agree with what you're saying but i wouldn't go as far to say it's abuse. their parents mean well but the way they're going about it is weird. in an attempt to not assign their child a gender they've ended up doing it anyways, assigning their kid nonbinary in a similar way a parent assigns being a girl or boy to their child. i think the occasional confusion and sometimes frustration that this kid experiences is very similar to what trans kids go through. i don't think you need to ask a 5 year old what pronouns they wanna use, just use whatever and stick to that until they tell you, unprompted, that they dont like it. i could go on but i dont think anyone will actually read this comment lol

[@crystal4336]

It will be great to catch up with this family in 15 years.

[@booognish]

Maybe from a psychological experiment perspective, but it’s sad to see a child’s parents adding this much extra confusion to their already confusing lives.

[@berendputten4535]

Yes

[@sovereignrose2005]

When the child is suing them for this abuse.

[@cryingfeline8339]

i would say only two or three of them would be left lmao

[@ngonzales3781]

Ikr lmao sweden is another fucking white dystopian planet

[@caidenveness1187]

I'm a trans man. I'm in a loving relationship with my girlfriend. If we do decide to have children one day ( via a sperm donor or whatever)... If my child is born biologically a male, he will be raised as a male. If my child is born as a female, she will be raised as a female. If my child genuinely FEELS non-binary, trans or whatever and really displays that behavior like I did (without influence from MYSELF) - I will let them be who they want and accept them for who they are, but until then they are not old enough to make life altering decisions, and my job as a loving parent is to guide them and make decisions for them until they're old enough to make their own. It's as simple as that.

[@justaname999]

It really sort of is. And it's easier on the children as well. It doesn't mean that we need to push our children into old fashioned stereotypes. But it also doesn't mean that I am losing my mind because my son gravitated towards cars rather than dolls or plushies at the age of 10 months and it was one of his first words and the thing he likes to look at most when we're outside. He's allowed to enjoy "boyish" things without me freaking out that he's reinforcing gender norms. (we will have to talk about the climate some day, though...)

[@katiakominski432]

Exactly... let them get to be acquainted with what is normal first, but without pressure. It won't hurt them even if they do end up being something outside of that, if they are still allowed to explore something different without the repercussions that you (might) have experienced.

[@HTNPSullivan]

I found it interesting that the two boys were developing along what looks like two different paths even with both of their parents sharing the same philosophy. One boy seemed very agressive and active and more "macho" if you will, and the other seemed more interested in clothing and activities we generally associate with girls. The difference between the parents was the "macho" boy was being raised by a (I think) hetero male/female couple and the "feminine" boy was being raised by two "feminine" parents. Please excuse the awkwardness of the words I'm using, but I think you'll get my general point. Kids pretty much model themselves after their parents. That being said, if I go by the childhoods of my gay friends - some of whom believe they were assigned the wrong gender, they were all raised by heterosexual parents. And then there's the tendency of kids to rebel against whatever their parents tried to instill in them, when they get older and are trying to establish their own identity. So, I wonder how things will turn out for these kids. BTW, you wrote, "my job as a loving parent is to guide them and make decisions for them until they're old enough to make their own. It's as simple as that." Well, isn't that what these parents are doing? Sweden, of course, has a reputation for being more open minded about a lot of things (my mother's side of the family is from Sweden, and I was brought up to be very unself-conscious about nudity, or example) and has tried a lot of different social experiments, so what happens in Sweden may not be a good measure of what could happen elsewhere in the world.

[@justaname999]

@@katiakominski432 In discussions like these you need to be careful about the use of the word "normal" lest you get attacked for marginalizing others ;) Even though you clearly state that it is completely fine to explore many possibilities. Although I'd back the understanding of a statistical "normality" in the sense of a normal distribution where the bulk of people will fall into a particular segment.

[@nl212ep]

Good for you! 😊 Too bad not everyone is not on board with your train of thought.

[@SlingandStoneVideos]

This is like having a vegan pet, we all know who's making the decisions here

[@mikestarkly9226]

Parents who say "you're a girl/ you're a boy" because of how their kid dresses/acts....same way....and at almost every school where kids are brain-washed that if you have short hair and like the color blue or like trucks you must be a boy...it's ignorance and close-minded propaganda. No children Figure out" on their own that they are a boy or a girl- it's a societal made-up concept as far as gender is concerned. In reality we should only be teaching children that there are males and females (as in different genitalia- nothing else should matter for children. That's the only way you'd be able to say no one is "making the decisions" for them...lol

[@mr.howard1]

@@mikestarkly9226 Really? More social engineering rubbish again? Children often show interest in the opposite sex at an early age (around 5 or 6) which may manifest in innocent sexual experiments such as playing "house" or "doctor" and which usually involves voyeurism. Suggesting this clearly natural "gendered" behaviour is somehow forced on children by society is plain ignorant and completely disregards the reality of nature. Almost all species (including homo sapiens) have a natural imperative for survival and reproduction which requires two genders. No more... no less. This gender fluid theory is just another form of Neo-Marxism intended to divide people, undermine family values, and promote a victim/oppressor narative.

[@kritkratt6383]

Sling and Stone people who force dogs and especially cats to be vegan are despicable and don’t understand how ecosystems and natural life cycles work...so sick of them pretending to be superior animal advocates

[@pingusmingus]

feeding your cat only vegetables is abuse because when they eat greens they vomit and cats are carnivores

[@starlyttwilyt9379]

@@mr.howard1 if u don't realize oppressors exist then u choose to have yer head in the sand....

[@lizzroth8134]

My daughter Julia began throwing tantrums when we put her into her sisters hand me downs, age 3. She cried when we were drawing each other and I drew the long wisps of hair she had and was calm when I cut the picture out without the wisps. She was 5, when we took her to buy Arborvitaes at a garden store. The man helping us referred to Julia as "he" and how much "he" reminded him of his grandson. We were used to people saying "he" to Julia. She didn't want to be corrected. When we checked out at the plant store the man was letting Julia help with everything. He asked her to fill out the purchase invoice, which first included writing her name. Her dad and I were so worried. We let him believe Julia was a boy. She was so unabashedly herself. No anxiey and having fun. She wrote down her name as "Jeff"! When I asked her why she did later, she said that she said she want to make him feel bad for thinking she was a boy. She's 23 now and doesn't follow a gender. She's just Julia. She's fine with being a she/her. But doesn't feel attached to either gender.

[@cosmicforest5205]

I know a kid who, albeit his parents and environment are really conservative (grows up in Eastern Europe), loves to play "girl". When my grandma is looking after him, he urges her to play "girls", insists that he gets called a girl, corrects her if she calls him with his real name. He can't do that at home, since he gets shut down. My grandma used to be conservative too, but she's grown to understand kids are just gonna be kids - it doesn't mean anything if they want to be addressed a certain way. And we should definitely avoid imposing whatever on them - we act as if we should be constantly teaching them, but all we need to give them is love and acceptance, and they will shine out their inner knowledge of what makes them feel best. Now through these "games" this kid I am talking about could be coping with all the expectations they put on him as a boy, it could be that it is a trans kid by birth, it could be that he grows out of it, it could be so many things, but no need to rush to conclusions. The most important thing is that he is let to express it with unconditional acceptance. And there was another comment that said it perfectly - yes we do have male or female or intersex bodies, but that shouldn't be bound to a certain kind of expression. It will take a while before humanity drops away the "pink is for girls and blue is for boys and if you're a boy but you like pink that means you might be a girl" type of attitude.

[@cartergomez5390]

When I was little and I went to city hall with my mom and little sister to play, my little sister had a bob and some boys called her a boy. She got very mad and told my mom to put earrings on her so she wouldn't get called that anymore. Meanwhile, I wished I had been called a boy because I ended up being a transexual guy. It's a memory that I will always remember because it's so ironic.

[@jorgegomezespinosa8192]

I met one person who was raised like this, it didn't go well in the first years because she knew she was a girl, but was treated both like a girl and a boy, and that caused her some serious struggles during her youth. I'm worried about those kids

[@babykay2493]

Thats interesting. Maybe this could inadvertently create a gender identity crisis?

[@irrelevance3859]

@Me and usually identity crises don't occur with gender unless they have dysphoria. Most people go with their birth gender. This is just causing another problem

[@skech_one149]

@@babykay2493 it's all part of there plan to divide and conquer

[@snoweh1]

@@skech_one149 whoa there bud, cool it with the antisemitism

[@chaunybuck6065]

@@snoweh1 what was antisemitic about that statement. U dunno who "they" is that they were referring

[@valarya]

I find it the MOST interesting that Mika didn't like being questioned "what pronoun do you want to use today?"

[@xanlyladybug3]

valarya exactly that pretty much sums this up CONFUSION they can’t fight against it cause they don’t know but the realize it’s a little wacky

[@gojko1994]

Kids even used "HE" pronoun at the dinner table.

[@shmeet]

valarya _____________Especially since he wasn't given "he" as an option!

[@Virakotxa]

Hen just wants to see mapa happy... You simply can't avoid imprinting. Puberty will decide.

[@Virakotxa]

shmeet Been there, you are confusing sex and gender, this is a look at a society that has passed those basic lessons... Results pending.

[@cutepuppyificatiable]

“Gender confusion is a small price to pay for social progress...” When Mapa said this.. this confirmed all my assumptions. Mika is being forced to think about things that aren’t even a concern at his age.... wtf

[@chlobosoup6940]

yes exactly like i see this video and i’m like “kids don’t care about their gender at all” like kids wear girls or boys clothes or play with girls or boys toys and they don’t care cause they don’t know unless you tell them they don’t think about it and they don’t need to

[@Natalia-ch9hc]

Absolutely. I think that's why Mika always responds with a "I don't know" when they ask how does she/he feel about something

[@lunawolff4358]

And why do you think that is? Well because people who don't want to think about gender, can't live in peace. The kids in the school immediately talked about how it's difficult to know Mikas gender and that it doesn't matter. The purpose of this education is not that, but not giving gender importance in the first place, not talking about it.

[@ozkan576]

They are using their kids to perpetuate a narrative, disgusting

[@ryanthomas9306]

@TaxiCab your clothes dont make up identification. I wore shirts with monkeys and turtles.... it didnt make me male or female

[@Lumberjack_Linnie]

I'm a trans woman who was afraid to come out until I was 33, because my family and friends were ... not so great. I have a daughter with my wife. She is 8 month old and she will be talked to as girl. She was born female and I know that being cis is way more common than everything else. What she will learn from me is that she can play with every toy she likes, and wear every piece if clothing she wants to no matter if it is "for boys" or "for girls". And if she someday comes to my wife and me and says: "Mama, Mummy, I don't think I'm a girl/woman", I will support him/them in every way possible. But I will not raise her genderless. This is an extreme that we shouldn't support. It's just the opposite of "there are only two genders" and it is as stupid. Sure, gender can be a fluid thing, but we have a biological sex and it makes perfect sense to assign the fitting gender to that. Everything else is something a child can learn when its brain is more developed. And if some of you want to scream at me, because I as a trans woman shouldn't speak about biological sex, because it doesn't matter (yeah, that happened): I have to get my prostate checked in about twelve years. Says something about gender and sex that I as a woman still need that.

[@Anonymous-uw4sr]

Agreed, except there are only 2 genders.

[@Lumberjack_Linnie]

@@Anonymous-uw4sr Disagree, because even I, someone who thinks this whole gender debate is stupid and should just end, educated myself enough to know that gender isn't as clean cut as it seems.

[@HelloPpl831]

@@Lumberjack_Linnie there´s only two genders for humans... it cant be changed..

[@siameseame]

i totally agree! this comment made me smile so much, i wish you and your family nothing but the best!

[@Fisches]

This!!

[@maggielou17]

He refers to bullying as, “a little bit of discomfort,” and that to me is very troubling seeing as it will likely be inevitable for the children.

[@sagasvensson8920]

Because Mapa does not give a sh*t about the children or their feelings

[@sikerslalatm3147]

Their house interior screams “I-K-E-A”. Edit: I don’t really remember ever implying that it was a bad thing? I was just stating something

[@bigpp3189]

Its sweden

[@TK3C]

Swedes appreciate simplicity, durability and closeness to nature. What's wrong with IKEA?

[@TheRumours13]

Duh, we live in Sweden!!

[@user-lp7tx1fe6t]

@@TK3C nothing,I love IKEA

[@Andeyatto]

So what?

[@pearl806]

i’m trans and i have a bad feeling about this. it’s not for the parents to decide it’s for the kid to decide wether or not they want to act on those feelings.

[@David-li2qj]

Thank you

[@Hannibal082]

That's what they're doing though. They're allowing a space for the children to define onto themselves what gender and colours they want to associate with. What these parents are doing is great.

[@lydiam147]

yea, i feel like they should just be raised with the gender they were born with unless they shown signs later on that they might have gender dysphoria and kids this age don’t seem old enough to actually know whether they might want to transition, and the parents are just confusing them.

[@Hannibal082]

@@lydiam147 I dont see any possible harm that could be caused here by raising your kid this way, might be a little sure but theres no harm. It just seems to me that people FEEL a certain way which is fine but its wrong to perject those feelings onto the parents and say that they're doing anything wrong.

[@lydiam147]

@@Hannibal082 but i think it's dumb when a parent decides that their kid needs to transition just for having an interest in boy ish or girl ish things. like if a girl is into playing with superheros and trucks or likes to play football too, that doesn't mean she is a different gender so i don't think parents should push that idea on them and should just let them figure that out when they get older

[@asbisi]

If gender doesn´t matter, why are the children asked every morning whether they want to be a she, he or they ("hen" in Swedish)? It must be very confusing for the kids having to think about what gender they are. Mika was clearly uncomfortable with it.

[@imthemay]

I agreee, so much of this I agree with. Toys and clothes shouldn’t be gendered, building kid’s confidence shouldn’t be gendered. I think they have important values at are overshadowed by mapa and their experiences with their own gender. But yes, imagine every single day being asked. Who are you and how do you want the world to perceive you. I think even an adult would find that to be a loaded question on a daily basis

[@MadHatterTheMatter]

is it every morning? you know kids exaggerate, right? did you hear how MaPa reacted? it was nicer than my Aunt reacted to me wanting to shave my head again.

[@Wreniffer]

pronouns don’t necessarily mean gender, sometimes someone might want to try something different, and if their is a problem and someone starts showing gender dysphoria knowing early on can save years of problems and thousands in medical procedures and medications. Also I do agree pushing gender onto kids is weird, no kids have gender and should be treated a such, a bit like Agender. But a lot of people when they say kids should not have gender then apply gendered stereotypes and things onto them, which is seen as more ok than pushing something like an enby identity.

[@anonymousperson1771]

​@@Wreniffer Oh fvck off. Kids are born as boys or girls, hes or shes, which is their gender. The question is how their personal preferences develop in relation to cultural norms, which isn't that much of an issue in a socially liberal society. They are still boys or girls regardless.

[@borishudej691]

Exactly!

[@ChelseaNeKole93]

I'm all for gender neutral colors and toys but this is low key raising the kids to be confused. If they told you that they felt binary or transgender then fine you can go from there but I feel like these kids didn't have a choice to define themselves. Its like from the jump there where told your neither a boy nor a girl and once they hit puberty that's going to get hella complicated.

[@janettasmith4822]

iHeartChels93 true

[@Jdndjdjdjdjjdhy]

I disagree. Many children who are raised knowing gender still change their gender in the future. Everything is by choice and i feel like this is fine cause they have a choice. They know how they feel and how they want to feel. Ofcourse its confusing now cause they are little but they arnt dumb so they'll understand more as they grow.

[@cjaquilino]

As opposed to cis gender folks…who don't try to influence the gender of their kids from the beginning?

[@jillian2414]

iHeartChels93 I totally agree with you this will make the children very confused. Why cant we humans do the right and moderate thing we either exaggerate or overlook our problems I mean I love their ideas about gender neutral colors and toys and clothes but they shouldn’t be confusing children like this 🤦🏻‍♀️ when will humanity ever learn

[@epiquewenqa]

I agree. I think the parents should have just focused on their daily things, like what they wear, the toys they play etc. Let them be expressive on that, and naturally they won't have the need to label people as they know, you are who you are; an individual, and you like what you like.

[@leila7524]

I think the grandmother said it best: Does Mika actually like dresses or do they pick dresses because Del buys/ prefers them?

[@yoshidababies4222]

I had the same tihought. Children do what garners positive reactions from their caregivers. If they do something silly and their parent laughs the child will usually repeat the action because they want the same reaction. If Mapa praised and clapped at Mika for wearing a dress Mika would understantably want to wear a dress again.

[@leilab5140]

Leila yea she did also we have the same name!!

[@alexism4961]

I never liked wearing dresses! Ever until I got older and on the occasion felt like dressing up. If anything it's nice for girls to be able to be comfortable and "boys" chose to dress uncomfortable and put on nonsense makeup to conform to a female stereotype, this broad gender choices seems more like loss of identity which is regardless of your sex!!

[@Србомбоница86]

@Alice Collins no they don't pick dresses,their degenerate "father" buys the fucking dress so Mika has no choice

[@combustiblebutterflies8109]

@Alice Collins We don't know that.

[@HellaToast]

18:48 "I try not to push my beliefs on them" that's literally what this entire video is about

[@peachtiime]

everyone with traditional gender values pushes their beliefs on their kids too

[@mahsasadeghian4230]

Don’t want to push your “beliefs” on your kids then don’t have kids!

[@sarahs3988]

Traditional gender values, as in we believe there is a male and a female ( you know, science and all that?). Pretty sure that's just going with biology, not pushing values.

[@gravityworks777]

Omg did he actually state that? I must not have heard that. 😂😂😂😂 that IS all the video is about.

[@mikestarkly9226]

Well that's what parenting is about let's be real. I think it's good they don't choose toys for the kids- they let them choose. Mapa is obviously more masculine but isn't saying "get out of that skirt boy" so I think that's what they were talking about......They are giving their kids the freedom to choose and be individuals rather than sheepish cogs. Superficial doesn't matter to that family they obviously have real unconditional love for their kiddos as every parent should.

[@platgeslagengehaktbal]

Even the reporter said she was confused...

[@imKajsa-ns2ib]

Whenever the Mika speaks his mind he whispers. That is terrifying. “Why do you always ask me that” and “I don’t know why”

[@holistichealthlifewellness2182]

Why do you ALWAYS ask me that. Kids don't lie

[@blank1507]

MaPa seems like the kind of person who would call their own child a bigot for disagreeing with them. I think they’re trying but it’s misguided

[@ai-no3ib]

He’s gonna hate his mothers when he grows up, and preach against this nonsense, they’re a bunch of freaks! I feel sorry for those kids!

[@anandadaquino3604]

Look for Rhuan Maycon. It's strong as hell.

[@anandadaquino3604]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/mKDSZJqwrrCre7s in English...

[@onee]

Shows three dresses to her kid and asks "What would you like to wear today?" And claims that it was their own choice to wear a dress....

[@ThePineTreesBand]

he did at one point pull out some shorts with flames on them. but that was probably just because he was starting to see his own hypocrisy. seemed like he even made a face.

[@kameramon2000]

But what do „normal“ parents do? They show a boy three shorts and aks „What would you like to wear today?“ Would they have a choice to wear a dress? No. And also I think it is because Mika always wears dresses, so showing them shorts everyday and them saying no to it everyday also would be weird. But I do get your point. Forcing anything on children whether it be the norms or the abnorms is wrong.

[@ThePineTreesBand]

@@kameramon2000 i would have thought, if there was truly a choice, for the video atleast, of any time, he would have included other (typically male) choices.

[@zoe.h.nelson04]

I'm fairly sure that's because they know Mika usually prefers dresses

[@brandylopez9048]

say straight people who force their kids to wear something because it matches and it’s ‘pink for my girl’ when the child is uncomfortable in the dress but when a person against the traditional gender roles gives the child a choice according to what the child has been wearing recently and not forcing an outfit on them it’s a problem

[@clozadarod]

Why do we stress kids out with sexuality? Can we just let them be children? I let my kids play with whatever they want, wear whatever and not call it gender neutral.

[@jadedmist]

The concept on gender neutral parenting is good at first, like not gendering their clothes toys or whatever else. But gender dysphoria isn't something everyone has, it's okay to be a boy or girl but it isn't okay for the parents to prevent the child from using the pronoun their assigned sex uses. Mika was obviously uncomfortable with the idea of gender at such a young age, little Mika should feel more comfortable. Though I do like the school system not enforcing stereotypes and being open to showing kids that other sexualities are a thing.

[@bendingbananas6540]

letting them play and dress with whatever they like IS gender-neutrality. The whole point is to not force them to abide by any gender-oriented things like, girls playing with Barbie, dress-up games and cooking and boys playing with car toys, action figures and what-not. I do understand though that it may seem a bit forced when the concept or word "gender neutral" itself is constantly brought up which is why i think its best if they're just given whatever toys they find cool and let their imaginations unravel by themselves without any interference, especially gender oriented ones. In short, i do agree with you. Kids should be kids and not have to worry about all that stuff, but I just think that this is exactly what gender neutrality is all about. This can be achieved without explicitly having it spelled out to them and just letting them be.

[@dwes49]

@Dom’s Vertigo gender isn’t a feeling

[@MtnDew4828]

@Sky Blue To Luna you're completely dumb

[@hachi7100]

Not gendering them is letting them be kids.

[@sitron7224]

I feel like Kåre (Mika's friend who visited) and his parents probably have a healthier mindset in the long term. Raising him as a boy who gets to express himself however he wants actually lets him play and experiment with gender expression, as opposed to Mika, who gets stressed out when asked about gender. Everyone wants them to pick a gender, but no one will tell them what a gender is.

[@MrKikip1992]

Grandma Margaretta has cracked it. 'Does Mika like dresses or does Del like dresses?' It really feels like Del is pushing his insecurities onto his kids.

[@katherinek3314]

I felt so bad for the grandma

[@thetruepatriot7733]

bingo!

[@amandala00]

Yeah I agree!! I think that allowing a child to dress how they want and to play with whatever toys they choose is great! But to ask a child what gender they are everyday is confusing and can even be brainwashing to the poor kiddo. Let kids be kids. Eventually they will figure it out. Please don't force a child to decide what gender they have to be when they are 6 years old or younger!! ☮️💜

[@hoseahopa5988]

Yes he is!!

[@alejandraalonso1996]

That’s exactly what he was doing

[@ninjasylph]

I noticed "MaPA" only gives the kids girl options for clothes.

[@cgough3967]

yeah i know it didn't seem like they could choose from boys and girls options just girls

[@emilyg1562]

they probably always pick „girls” clothes when they go shopping

[@cgough3967]

@@emilyg1562 yeah i guess but it seems like they are pressing girls stuff. especially the younger one because he can't really decide for himself

[@panderzbananderz9320]

I agree with @ninjasylph. There is not a fair representation of both genders being offered.

[@rainfloweriris5642]

Agreed! This is child Abuse!

[@eliago7599]

I feel like this way of bringing up your children makes them think that gender is _very_ important, which is kind of the opposite of what we want. A six yr old shouldn't bother with choosing their pronouns every day, i think that calling them by the "assigned at birth" (or neutral, those work great too) pronouns should be fine, they are kids, they don't care about gender. When they are a little older and they start noticing differences between boys and girls you could introduce the concept of gender identity to them, reassuring them that you'll love them regardless of their sexuality/gender identity. If they grow up to be cis/straight that's great. If they don't that's great too. At least that's how i grew up and i'm so thankful for my parents never making it seem as if gender was such a big deal. Thanks for coming to my ted talk, you are now free to leave

[@Matriarch667]

This way of bringing them up actually doesn't put nearly as much emphasis on gender as a "normal" upbringing in America. As a female with tomboy tendencies that adults discouraged due to my gender, my childhood was filled with gendered policing of my actions and preferences. It literally defined me and it was very confusing because it wasn't who I was. These kids are fine and if anything more informed than comments like these.

[@Hambonehoven]

Or at least use ‘they’ pronouns and not make a big fuss about it every day.

[@scarasara]

Ya and Mika seems confused as hell to me. Just let the kid be. Why ask all those questions. The kid is 5!

[@emmelrich666]

I also think that Mapa puts to much of his/her mindset on Mika and Nico. It‘s seems to be a bad thing to Mapa to tell his/her kids to tell them that they are born male… in Mapa‘s perfect world her/his kids would be intersex- this is what they want them to be.

[@hannahlanai]

This is how I was raised too- and I can't thank my parents for that enough. I get what these parents are trying to do, and I know it's coming from a good place and intention, but I agree that it seems like they might be placing too much emphasis on the importance of gender simply by bringing it up far more in daily life than is necessary.

[@KatDoedens]

nobody talks about how well these children, their grandma and classmates speak/understand english

[@gnomee9447]

Uhm. That is typical for Sweden. All of the Scandinavian nations have very wide ranging bilingualism. Most of their education system is in English, from what I can tell. Any Swedish person I met so far could speak at least CEFR B2, usually closer to C2. Where I come from my English stands out as particularly good with a level of C1 - no Swedish person has ever even remarked on it, cause they are used to that proficiency being the norm.

[@cutelittledevil88]

Sure, but in most countries they don't start at 5 years old 😅 It's smart to do so, but most of europe starts second languages at 10

[@nurailidepaepe2783]

i think they might even speak it at home and are raised bilingual so duh

[@nurailidepaepe2783]

actually i'm pretty sure the parent is a native english speaker so obv the kids speak it

[@marmoth9786]

i think there's an adult translating for the other kids at the kindergarten, it's just edited out for runtime efficiency.

[@sureyyaguder8765]

Seems to me though, while claiming that they raise children without gender, they are forcing children to adopt things from the other gender and say that "look Mika chose to wear a dress!". But Mika chose to wear "a" dress from the only 3 dresses you showed to him... I wonder if a boy could be "a boy" in that house

[@kubilaikhan9212]

My thoughts exactly

[@Aauutumnn]

i dont see you complaining if a girl was forced to wear dresses ;-;

[@eleven4176]

Uu türk buldumm

[@sureyyaguder8765]

@@Aauutumnn then obviously you got me wrong

[@Aauutumnn]

@@sureyyaguder8765 ok do u complain about girls being forced to wear dresses?

[@erikt1713]

I fully agree that we should offer boys and girls the same opportunities and toys and let them play the way they want. Still, why should we deny a gender to them? As a boy, I liked to play with girls, too, and I liked some of the games that mainly girls played at the time. Anyway, I always identified as a boy. I would not have liked someone to suggest that I'm not a boy only because I have some interests that are not typical. I think there is still a lot of potential for confusion even if you want to be open-minded.

[@jasminespencer2872]

I agree I feel like this system reinforces stereotypes, that this is a girl and that is a boy kind of thing For me; a girl is a young female (it doesn't equate to pink or baby dolls) Same thing for boys

[@UltraCodex66]

I have always been a feminine man, but aside from long hair (which we must've all had before we invented knives so check mate, literally everyone pissing me off with the question of when I'm gonna get a haircut), I do not feel like a woman or anything like that. I have more girl friends than male friends and I like a lot of what the other gender/sex has to offer in terms of spicing up my life, such as stereotypically more feminine conversations like chattin about hair or cooking, but I very much identify as a male Unusual looking and behaving male This makes me just confused tho, especially because of grammar They really want to be open and accepting but this lack of a backbone in terms of social integration really makes it hard to utilise Another thing is that if we all, all of a sudden just Gave up on stereotypes All of this would be void, effectively As much as I don't want to say it, I do think that some people really struggle to find an identity and decide to make their sexuality/gender that identity Idk about you but I'm (whatever people know me for, etc linguistics student, musician, whatever) first Man with feminine features second

[@pathogen9494]

Me too! I'm a woman, and from a young age I've never liked playing with feminine toys, and always preferred my brother's over my own. I was good at basketball for a shot period, donated all of my hair and rocked a pixie, and most of my friends ended up being males. However this doesn't mean I identify as a male. In fact, I remember that in third grade, I pondered if I would rather be a boy, and quickly concluded that I don't have a problem with being a girl, just what is expected of women. I believe what makes us males and females goes beyond our interests and looks. I believe that creating new labels only continues to boil my gender down to my interests and appearances and simply enforces the many problematic gender stereotypes. As a now fully grown adult, I don't have a problem keeping my hair long (however I do plan to chop it and donate it again), wear makeup and dresses, and be overall feminine. The masculine side of me hasn't left, and I've realized that it's quite uncomfortable to be confined to act according a specific and rigid set of "rules" that makes no sense. There are only a few in this world that perfectly embody what is means to be a man or woman, and I would place my money that it is actually impossible to do so. I guess everyone has their own experiences that result in some on the extreme, and thus perhaps nobody has the right to correct or look down upon such ideals. Maybe the only thing we can do is think about ourselves instead of worrying about others, that way one will have full trust in themselves that their conclusions on their gender identity are solely theirs and not influenced by others.

[@goodstorylover]

WEll said. I think that might be the reason Mika does not want to talk about his gender or establish it every day.

[@idontknow8489]

I understand your point completely but don't you wonder what would've happened if you weren’t assigned a gender at birth? Atleast I often do. Would I have the same interests, the same hobbies and the same ideologies? I was assigned female at birth and would always wear dresses and wear my hair short. I grew my hair out after finding out it doesn't fit into what a girl should be. Obviously I can't speak for everybody and neither can you but giving kids the option to choose what gender they are seems great to me. And if they feel like their assigned gender that’s completely fine as well. It's just stupid in my opinion to base a whole person’s identity around their genitalia. No one is denying gender, just if it should be based around your genitalia. (Not written from a biological point of view)

[@BratBustersParenting]

Hmmm, I'm super open minded and ready to learn but this just felt a bit off to me. It almost felt as if gender ignoring is being pushed on the kids. When the child was asked what gender he/she is, he/she looked at the parent (18:10) and said "I want them to call me hen like you". Then he/she leaned into the parent for approval. That body language indicated that it wasn't coming from the child at all, rather from what they think they should say. I've worked with trans kids and when a boy calls himself a girl or vice versa, he/she doesn't look at the parents for approval, he/she says it proudly without searching for approval. The problem with this stuff is that the damage doesn't usually show itself until the kids enter the tween/teen years. If they've been segregated into this safe little gender avoidance world growing up imagine how tough the real world seems to them. Puberty is tough and everything leading up to it counts. Whenever I'm coaching parents of toddlers even I emphasize parenting techniques that help everyone sail into and through the teen years.

[@Crazd22]

You are absolutely correct. Also, glad to see some commenters are keeping the discourse respectable and academic.

[@Crazd22]

Also, nice channel

[@Crazd22]

Right after the section you mentioned, Del says a few things that are very unsettling. "I think Mika will say 'hen' because I say 'hen.' I try not to put my obsessions onto Mika, but I do believe Mika has the ability to choose." From that exchange, it's obvious that Del is raising Mika to be obsessed with gender identity... A wise grandmother once told me "Kids don't want to follow their parents' instructions. They just want to mimic their parents." And that's what I'm seeing from these children.

[@Crazd22]

In other words, Del believes that they're not influencing the kids. Why? Because they don't order the kids to wear dresses or grow their hair out or dye it with pink highlights. Thus, Del and the parents come to believe that they're somehow undoing gender by offering their kids feminine clothing. In reality, the kids are just being kids and copying their parents...

[@angelicalicari8355]

Question though- when a little girl clearly copies her mom or a little boy clearly copies his dad, we genuinely think it's cute. Why should it be concerning that Mika is doing the same thing to Mapa?

[@Zesty_Seeker]

I was raised to be my biological gender and I turned out to be nonbinary. No matter how my parents would raise me, I still will be always the person that I want to be. I just think that kids shouldn't question their gender too soon. I started questioning it when I was 12-13 years old. Its frustrating and it took me 3 years to be comfortable with myself. (My parents don't know, they are everything-phobic, tbh. They hate everyone who isn't traditional female or male.) But little kids having that much stress is a bit too much. Like I had a bunch of stress because of my gender, to the point of panic attacks, self harm, body dysmorphia, depression etc. Kids should be raised normal, they should be allowed to wear and play with what they want, no matter their gender. But asking them what they are... its just too early, my little brain wouldn't understand something like that when I was little. Even if other genders and sexualities besides cis and straight were STRICTLY forbidden in my family, I still found myself, kids don't need to be asked what they are. They will know it when the right time comes, but having some acceptance in the family would be awesome- just amazing....

[@EquineHorses_official]

I'm female and have been since birth I've been questioning myself and found out im bisexual only one of my freinds knows and she's a online freind and is ace and she's absolutely amazing but I agree it's to early I think my sisters nonbinary and I don't think my dad's homophobic and I think I could be whatever I want and they would still love me I hope u get thst one day I'm still figuring myself out and I go tona cristan school where they have very strict beliefs and we get on debates about the lgbtq community and im just thinking to myself can't people just be who they are bc I get so angry bc I can't tell my best freind about my sexuality which sucks

[@ella-sk6vm]

You can raise a child without gender stereotypes but still keep their assigned gender. I worry that these children will not truly be comfortable with their identity and may face a lot of discrimination unnecessarily because they didn't choose to be non-binary, I was raised as a girl (I wore dresses and played with dolls) and my sex is female but I was still raised thinking that my brother and I have equal opportunities in life. By making gender such a big thing in Miko's life he/she will see it as a very big thing. Instead of making a child identify as neither or both genders I think you should just make sure that the child is aware that men and women are equal.

[@sisyphus2225]

exactly

[@jayxfrost8987]

Exactly!! Miko is clearly cis boy. That’s not a bad thing... being a boy.

[@teddythebear111]

i’m a transguy & i honestly think if i’d been raised “without gender” i never would’ve figured out anything was wrong

[@jayxfrost8987]

Teddy The Bear Imagine being raised without even knowing what’s your gender. B-word and g-word 😂 they act like it’s something wrong or a taboo to have a gender. And changing the pronouns in books is completely ridiculous. People have gender. Get over it mapa.

[@lisawhelan2101]

I think ultimately, that people need to realise that gender is not the issue - it's the stereotypes people ram down children's throats or how people treat children differently based on their gender. I can see where mapa is coming from. But I can understand raising a cis boy without gender stereotypes & when they're older letting them know they can identify how they want too. Most people don't know the difference between sex & gender. But it's the stereotypes that cause most harm I believe. I don't think you necessarily have to focus on gender identity to raise a child to be more open minded/free of stereotypes. I think if I had a cis gender son id let him know he could wear dresses or have dolls or paint his nails and I'd normalise all of that, along with all activities - I wouldn't close anything off or stereotyoe them. Because humans are complex. We can like lots of things. Regardless of our assigned gender. And I think once kids no longer felt limited by stereotypes they'd be happier humans/adults. And if they wanted to identify differently when they were older that would be their choice but I think vilifying the words 'boy' and 'girl' isn't a good idea. Vilify the stereotypes around gender expression. Not the sex of your child. I think that would have confused me a lot. I do wish more parents would let their kids express themselves however they wanted though :) policing gender expression IS s**t. The pink, delicate, caring Vs blue, action, anger, sports, anti caring thing has GOT to be dismantled.

[@Grumpytheteletubby]

I think going with the birth pronouns at first, letting the kids wear and play with whatever they want, and let them know that they are safe to change their genders is the best way to go about this. Not giving your kids pronouns seems like it would be very confusing for them.

[@freya9107]

Exactly, I feel like a lot of people don't realize that over 90% of people will stick with the gender they were assigned at birth. Stick with that until they tell you otherwise. Sure don't add stupid stereotypes with it and let them just be a kid, but you don't need to do this whole thing of pretending that gender doesn't exist

[@keylimetea]

Yeah it might be challenging at least say “they/them”

[@Raven_Fable]

Use ze/zir pronouns

[@Dogpool23]

Yes

[@Mattyxx08]

agreed

[@kittykatBflat]

Im kind of concerned for the child that doesn't want to answer gender questions they seem really uncomfortable.

[@tytherope6183]

kittykatBflat maybe they just don’t want to think about their gender. Maybe that’s not a big concern, also they may be trying to figure that out for themselves still

[@undoctrinati0n]

Ty The rope maybe their confused or annoyed as to why the fuck they are constantly asked what their preferred gender for the day is.

[@jayn8392]

seems to me like they are confused by the constant questioning from "mapa" and they don't want to give the "wrong" answer

[@mari-hf9xp]

To me it sounds like they're sick of being asked. You can tell it's something they get asked on a daily basis and they just don't care - they don't want anyone else to care, either. Most trans and gender non-conforming people /are/ uncomfortable when they have to constantly explain themselves and their existence.

[@gambling-goduk2294]

eggfish it's seems to me that the (ma-pa) is wanting for those kids to grow up just as he/she did without a gender... It also seems that ma- pa is against male objects of clothing like trousers etc. It's seems wrong to me. A boy is a boy and a girl is a girl simple! Unless your slightly transgender like the ma-pa inwich you have a penis so it still states (male).. excluding that a second kids are well looked after and loved

[@intuitiveturtle]

I'm non binary and inter* myself and totally believe in raising kids letting them choose their own gender expression but I do feel like in this case they are kind of particularly raising them to be gender non-conforming and the child could be doing that to please the parents. I agree with Del when they say they are doing the same as all parents, every parent raises their kids like themselves. But I think as queers we can stray from the norm and NOT raise the kids to be like ourselves and really fully let them be free. So I think I would be doing the same except I would be totally neutral about whether my kid becomes cisgender, not trying to persuade them into wearing dresses unless they want it themselves, not constantly asking them about pronouns and forcing them to think about gender all the time. for me the point is to make gender "less important" than in a cis-normative society, not more.

[@Sentient-potato]

i'm transfem... and everying in the tqia in lgbtqia... and I agree with you... accept I can't tell how to raise children because I don't want one... and don't even know how to start parenting with parenting 101. So idk if that's what you should/shouldn't do

[@kiki-drawer2669]

Ok one last thing, they asked the kid "why don't you want your hair cut short" and the kid dosnt know how to answer. This shows the parents are forcing no genders, rather then just listening to what there kids want. I swear that Kid seemed like a trapped person in a body they don't always want to be in.

[@lorenfox8791]

kiki- drawer26 I agree. The child seems confused and very insecure. So sad

[@PasscodeAdvance]

Now that you comment ,let's take action

[@cecille5833]

Loren Fox have u ever consider the fact that they may never have to stressed about that before, just because they’re not worked up or sure about something you care about doesn’t mean there nor happy

[@user-fr9cr8yd1z]

yeah, I don’t think the kids being unable to answer for their preferred hair length means they’re forced into nonconformity. I don’t believe kids sit there and ponder why they want to do things, they kinda just make choices without logic or reason. They probably just asked the kid, “how do you want to do your hair?” and this is what the child came up with. Asking “why isn’t your hair short?” is fucking stupid. It’s fuckin hair. Get real. I could think of billion better reasons why this is particularly unsettling, but, let’s be real, it’s America, it’s not my life, these lifestyles are accessible to any person who wants them, parents have the ability to raise their offspring how they see fit, who gives a fuck about what other people do when you’ve got your own freedoms and life to reign? If no one is dying or suffering, shut the fuck up, mind your business. Very Interesting documentary overall.

[@user-fr9cr8yd1z]

Sweden, excuse me. First world, same difference.

[@kaymac4831]

27:32 It disgusts me how he says that because his kids are “privileged” for being white and not disabled, that it’s fine for them to suffer bullying over their gender identity. Someone save those kids from these lunatics

[@Brittany853]

Kay Mac Wow yes I agree. Poor children.

[@blank2272]

Brittany Emma it is a female with confused brain

[@briring2363]

I don't think anyone here has any real grasp on gender at all. "A female with a confused brain" what does that even mean

[@maccheats3661]

I agree

[@alywhite759]

agreed

[@rebeccabrockway8258]

I have two sons. When they were little, both preferred pink. Both allowed their older sisters to style their hair in ponytails or braids. Both wore dresses for play. The family shared a giggle and neither son was shamed. Nowadays, at ages 19 and 22, one son is gay and the other is straight. I think both would still let their sisters style their hair :)

[@meowpoosaymeow]

awww

[@maryross8903]

Same!

[@Arizona_lilly]

Ya I did that w my brother lol put make up on them .. but its a kid things

[@user-jk6rp5xh3n]

Praying for you and your sons.

[@bryandunn7953]

That’s a really cool story. Children’s play can sometimes provide hints about future attributes and preferences.

[@Penguins1999]

I’m a woman and go by she/her, however, I still don’t get what the big deal about gender is, as long as you’re nice and you can be yourself, who cares? So, I understand where they’re coming from. When I don’t know what somebody goes by, I tend to say they/them, just to respect everyone

[@Mircat123]

But they and them are plural words, "it" is the singular word for gender neutral.

[@mentally_neglectful]

FR though. Idk why English speaking people are making such a big deal over using gender neutral pronouns. As someone who grew up with a language that don't have gendered pronouns, calling everyone they/them felt natural to me.

[@andjelabozic2317]

Another person who failed to learn basic biology.... Yes, treat people by their personalities, but don't go all radical because people are so "progressive" nowadays. They/them was never even a thing, people just want to be unique. Trans people are trans because of gender dysmorphia.

[@uh_ohz-jw6rw]

​@@Mircat123 They is a singular and plural pronoun. "It" as a pronoun is primarily used as an insult.

[@bobbitshen6936]

"without gender"? Seems more like constant gender to me. Asking the kids what they are everyday, and then having a discussion about it is wrong. They'll let you what they are when they get there.

[@starberrysweetee1495]

Bob Bitshen They said they usually don't bring it up, but had to for the case of the entire documentary. They had to kinda probe the kids to get their understanding of gender and where they fit into it.

[@jojosaylor8996]

Bob Bitshen Im confused just watching this

[@normielovesalot3538]

They’re are asking because it’s a documentary and they’re goal is to get as clear and in-depth an understanding as possible.

[@Mothafuckenzay]

Give the kids two different toys like a doll and a action figure see what they choose

[@dorelle]

True. That one morning affirmation was rather excessive.

[@adagera1219]

They are confusing these kids waaay to much

[@notleftvsrightnationalismv4666]

We are all transgender transracial transdisabled transspecies , it is 2019

[@connornewman1992]

These parents have no difference with parents who forced children to marry at very young age. They force children to make bias decision about their gender when they both mentally and physically are not ready yet to make such big decision. These parents should be jailed!

[@profit6209]

And yu look good.. slide ya ig lil shorty ;)

[@wilihey1425]

@@profit6209 smooth

[@aprilwhite8942]

Yeah I think they are being forced to decided if they are non binary. A kid can still pick if they are Male or female or nonbinary but it's up to THEM. When you ask your child everyday what they want to be identified as, that is a problem. They should be correcting YOU if you call them one and they say "no I'm a _____"

[@reesi4u2nv]

I HATED being asked how I felt about things growing up because I never knew what to say. I just felt the way I felt!

[@_vikie09]

yesss me too

[@anikahungerford7185]

And the reason why that is is because kids don’t know anything yet. It is our job to teach them.

[@Annelie_perhonen5]

Sounds like you had trouble recognizing feelings😟

[@Kate-nd4rl]

And this is another important point. Child psychology and development is not even talked about here when that is a very real and important part of the conversation.

[@a.nobodys.nobody]

Plenty of kids don't feel that way. sounds like you were afraid you'd be judged or give a wrong answer

[@CristinaFogarty]

An antidote for their privilege. What the hell does that mean. On purposely making your child suffer because they happen to be born I to a privileged situation. What’s wrong with being privileged anyway, everyone wants to be well off, as long as you don’t treat others worse because of it there is no reason for it to be a bad thing.

[@meganh109]

Vice better do a follow up video when they’re grown up

[@chastitysmyth5231]

RIGHT ON!! I certainly hope the kids are up to it

[@itscloudstrife]

Yah !!

[@dagnaldblumbf1882]

Vice probably won't be around by time that happens

[@martymcfly88mph35]

Vice will be bankrupt by then. And these kids will be in jail for stabbing their parents for abusing them.

[@jedmaegraith8542]

Megan H and see how destroyed they all are

[@Es3iya]

This is really creepy. These kids seem to have in fact developed some gender identification issues. Mika says to call him just Mika and not a specific gender, you can clearly see in the beginning he is struggling because his mind can't grasp the reality of it. It's okay for a boy to have long hair, it's okay to play with dolls, but parents SHOULD HAVE directly told them whether they were male or female from the beginning and if they end up being transgendered, which is less than 1% chance it would be fine. But now parents force their gender identity issues on their children and they will for sure have problems with their identity as they get older.

[@kristinpierce5844]

Exactly

[@boynicholls]

Bullshit

[@alicesacco9329]

Indeed. I like long hair on boys too. My uncle played dolls (made them wrestle) as kid, and is a male, with no gender issues. But those children are forced into transgenderism, they're not free to express therirselves, unlike what their parent say. And this because children truly don't care for clothes (I remember I was just happy to wear blue long sleeves, I didn't care about the form).

[@LeonardoTheMomo]

@@boynicholls how so? transgenderism affects only 1% of the population? why should you raise the other 99% as if they where a part of that 1%? maybe they will become transgender, but not by their choice, but because you imparted that upon them with the way you raised them. Which is ironic, because you want to eliminate gender roles by imposing new roles on them that could become just as damaging and "dangerous" as those you want to avoid

[@Viztian]

@@LeonardoTheMomo Or we can think outside the idea that adding new gender roles is being counteractive to avoiding gender roles in the first place. There is the idea of adding new roles to accomodate the roles not being recognized within the gender binary

[@Son-of-Baghdad]

"In Sweden, the gender neutral pronoun “hen” has been in the national dictionary since 2015 and is now commonly used by most Swedes" As someone who lives in Sweden I can tell you that last part is just a straight up lie. Most people don't use it and the ones who do are mostly left wing journalists and teenagers.

[@StrawberryCocoaPowder]

Hmm, is it ok to ask what are the pronouns for boys and girls are in Sweden? I'm curious, since I've never spoken Sweden before :O

[@Son-of-Baghdad]

@@StrawberryCocoaPowder Han for men and hon for women. Or are you asking me if Swedish people tend to ask others what pronouns to use? They don't, or at least I've never seen anyone do it.

[@StrawberryCocoaPowder]

@@Son-of-Baghdad Ah, I didn't mean “do Swedish people ask for pronouns”, thanks for your answer tho :D

[@fc-xw9qr]

u just gave me hope for sweden..

[@thecapatalistpropagator_9470]

Today’s teenagers are Tommorows adults Sweden is screwed

[@SarahBethBeauty]

“Gender confusion is a small price to pay for social progress”. I really hope they don’t mean that their children being confused about their gender is a small price to pay for social progress! As a parent you are there to protect your children, not use them as a pawn. I wonder the same thing as grandma. I didn’t see mapa bring any non dress options to Mika. I think he just wants to please mapa :/

[@darkfire8008]

Not sure if they meant it as confuse the children, but more confusion about what makes a boy or a girl according to societal norms; e.g. boys don't wear dresses and they must avoid pink anything if the object itself isn't considered super masculine in and of itself. Mika is probably picking out those clothes. I wouldn't question it any more than the family who's daughter only wears skirts/dresses.

[@GothicGali]

That is exactly what they mean

[@maximumdigital-9252]

There was a bit of telling moment around 18:20 that seems at least to appear like this child is actually MORE uncomfortable with the topic of gender than children usually are. Literally leaving the room to avoid it. Not questioning the parents intention to make the child feel "more freedom" - but the result seems to just be overwhelming confusion. The interviewer even seems a bit surprised at this. Also just for context - while I'm a straight guy I'm born/raised/living in the San Francisco Bay Area. I have several trans friends, there's not a "phobic" bone in my body. But to summarize my point: perhaps forcefully shoving the "YOU ARE NO GENDER!!!" down a child's throat is equally overwhelming as yelling at your son "BOYS DONT CRY, MAN UP!". It's like instead of telling the child to live up to male/female standards, that's just been replaced with a new standard of "non gender" with its own set of rules to follow. Which is the opposite of freedom.

[@Ryesagain]

i found it particularly telling that they have entire shelves dedicated to "feminist theory" while having zero masculinity in the home. Even pushing mika to wear only femme clothing. I am bi, I have known and befriended gays and trans. I don't care if they choose that. But these children are not getting that choice, they are being told that gender is bad! but most of all MASCULINITY is bad. Anything obviously male is bad. Also Who the fuck lets a 5 yo play with nailpolish? My daughter didn't get any of that till she was 8.

[@HACKA33]

Exactly.

[@daynalou4604]

Exactly.

[@haribra4260]

WaiGee as for the problems you had i agree. But the solution isnt to become half woman. You study hard for better grades and sociaolize to deal with depresion. And for depresion you can just go to the psychologist

[@leopardg6141]

Ross D I think you perfectly summed up the issue here.

[@derekaitken]

I find it very suspicious the other parent is never in the video

[@deimos6924]

Right? I mean, couldn't they have interviewed the partner after they got home from work???

[@natalialazreg2076]

maybe they don't want to be on YT/in front of camera, I wouldn't try to find something suspicious here. some ppl just don't like being filmed

[@derekaitken]

@@natalialazreg2076 If they don't want to be filmed why are they having their young children be filmed?

[@Alex-fm5mo]

same. I felt like they were deliberately cut out of the video in the editing. Cause at points you see Amelia go and ask the other parent but then you never see them

[@brewcity3178]

"When you ask Mika about gender Mika doesn't seem to want to talk about it" That's because Mika is a small child who's parent's are pushing him to be trans instead of letting him grow up naturally and decide for himself. He's a small child, he just wants to play. I wasn't thinking about sex and gender as a small child, I just wanted to play Nintendo and eat.

[@joshuamorales6680]

Brew City fr kids shouldn't be worrying so much about their gender status like this. When they get older who knows what kinda of problems they'll go through on a daily basis. There are kids in high school who identify differently than what their body is and it seems that they are so fixated on their identity that all they talk about is gender problems and their gender status. So many LBGT people seem to be so fixated on that every day it's like a big issue they deal with that straight people don't. Kids worrying this early in life by parents and schools that encourage openness in their gender like this are literally gunna b the most annoying LGBT activist yet. Way worse than the kinda people who are black and say everything is racist. Like that plant of the apes thing where the guy was screaming racism cause they r soo fixated on it and honestly it gets annoying, not to say that racism isn't a huge problem but some people already take it over the line just imagine what growing up as a little kid wit this kind of learning will turn them into. Sheeesh man

[@joshuamorales6680]

Brew City fr kids shouldn't be worrying so much about their gender status like this. When they get older who knows what kinda of problems they'll go through on a daily basis. There are kids in high school who identify differently than what their body is and it seems that they are so fixated on their identity that all they talk about is gender problems and their gender status. So many LBGT people seem to be so fixated on that every day it's like a big issue they deal with that straight people don't. Kids worrying this early in life by parents and schools that encourage openness in their gender like this are literally gunna b the most annoying LGBT activist yet. Way worse than the kinda people who are black and say everything is racist. Like that plant of the apes thing where the guy was screaming racism cause they r soo fixated on it and honestly it gets annoying, not to say that racism isn't a huge problem but some people already take it over the line just imagine what growing up as a little kid wit this kind of learning will turn them into. Sheeesh man

[@StaticDreamsEntert]

Brew City Yep your right . The kid doesn't want to talk about it cause deep inside he knows this is all fuckin weird and not right.

[@brewcity3178]

StaticDreamsEntert He probably can't even count to a 100 yet but he's being forced to think about gender and people's differentiating opinions on it. Just let him have fun with his friends and be a kid. Don't raise him to be a victim.

[@DavidH13094]

I preferred playstation, but I think I understand what you're saying

[@kayleighmay2557]

I think it's great to be brought up without gender stereotypes. Wear what you want, play with what you want, behave how you want... but you can't erase gender altogether and pretend it's not a reality

[@ArianaMartinez02]

10:08 that lady holding the “non gender dolls” she literally said ,” [Gender] isn’t important, the kids never ask about gender.” It proves a point that this concept is too overwhelming for a kid to comprehend. We see that with the Mika kid in the vid , his Mapa or whatever asks Mika what pronoun should he use and the kid was clearly annoyed like “bro you ask me this everyday “ Kids don’t care about this type of stuff as kids and if they do ofc listen to them. At this age it’s clearly those kids don’t know anything about who they truly are which is a kid who wants to do nothing but play and have fun !!

[@nicholemarie9853]

Exactly!!! 💯

[@shinechi]

imagine asking a kid everyday what are their pronouns

[@nanoswagger]

@@shinechi lmao abc books but insted of letters its a bunch of garbled pronouns

[@EnixyStudios]

Del did say, in response to Mika asking "do we have to do this every day" that they do not, and that they are asking today primarily for the video and for their guest. Which, to me at least, sounds like they don't ask them every day what pronouns they prefer, but that they have been asked a lot more in the days leading up to this to accommodate others (adults, who seem to be more preoccupied with the ideas).

[@jeboshifru]

When debade about adopting kids started, the main argument was that the LGBTQ+ identity would not affect children in any way. Now we see that is not true. Ideology has been imposed on children.

[@shauntanikadalmida1999]

It would have been nice to see Mapa`s partner and interaction with the children.

[@watsonwrote]

@Mario The other partner gave birth to the kids. Mapa also said their partner isn't transgender.

[@xz740]

@Mario Mapa’s partner is female. She gave birth to the children by sperm donor. They are both lesbians. This is a thing in the lesbian community.

[@xbduf4gb]

Mario MaPa is not a man. She was born female, lived as a lesbian, then went on testosterone. They can’t conceive children as a couple because they are both biologically female.

[@klimtdidit8482]

@Mario I think they are biologically intersex so technically its both ? At least thats what they said in the start

[@klimtdidit8482]

@Mario I was just saying that bc you said woman they man and you didn't seemed sure about it but idk man I think the video has a weird vibe and not from Mapa but idk the general atmosphere maybe its just the music lol

[@zelmasedano5070]

Keep in mind, Sweden is a traditionally homogenous society. They like to pat themselves on the back for any new thing they try. But this is also the country where covert racism is rampant. I've never felt more isolated than I have living in Scandinavia.

[@zelmasedano5070]

@@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw I mean, perhaps before global movement became doable, but it's not like that anymore...

[@ryanthomas9306]

@@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw this is a completely false statement. Scandanavia is using governmental regulations to control social behavior and its proving to have a negative consequence on the human psyche

[@lykkemarieofficial]

THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT. this is also my experience in denmark and the danes wont acknowledge it. Racism can be discrete and still very present at the same time. White people will never understand.

[@zelmasedano5070]

@Hannah Lee I did ;) Sounds like you're not even Norsk or Svensk or Dansk, so shush

[@nadjasvart6991]

Spot on truth !

[@linkfiedproductions2246]

Can we get an update sometime in the future? I'd love to see what happened to their lives and how they act in comparison to children raised and told they are a certain sex or gender.

[@spicytender1832]

I saw pics from 2023 of Mika on the mapa's Facebook, and they still have long hair and an androgynous look. So for anyone waiting for a "gotcha" moment where Mika decides to go all-in on being a boy.. It doesn't appear to be happening.

[@linkfiedproductions2246]

@@spicytender1832 I’m really more curious about the psychological affects

[@meenaa.i]

@@linkfiedproductions2246 I don't think it would psychologically affect him, like the founder of the gender neutral elementary said, they're not forcing them into being something. They're allowing the kids to be everything. It's more about opposition to social norms pertaining to gender than opposition to the inherent laws of biology.

[@linkfiedproductions2246]

@m-nk2ne I’m just wondering if being raised in such an environment would add confusion or relief to their life.

[@meenaa.i]

@@linkfiedproductions2246 Confusion definitely, they're conducting themselves in a way the general population of earth doesn't. As for "relief" there's nothing to be relieved about, they get to live their life freely without the pressure of adhering to gender norms. I think the more plausible question is will they be thankful for their upbringing or regret it.They are just children who don't understand the complexity of society.

[@mushroomfae4576]

Lmao I’m trans but this is ridiculous! Let your child figure themselves out don’t push things onto them for the sake of publicity

[@ApoloniaJones1976]

Big Bolas Seriously? Give some actual criticism or feedback about what was said rather than just saying, “Shut up.” If you’re going to participate in the comments section of any video, you owe folks civilized conversation.

[@cortneyblust3640]

@@welcomeback1311 ohhhhh stop it you do to. You're just not man enough to enough to embrace your homosexuality. It's ok that comes in time. That's why you were watching this video for education you don't have to get all defensive about your sexuality. This is 2019 brother don't be afraid to come out of the closet.

[@justseffstuff3308]

Exactly my point! Raising someone gender neutral shouldn’t be forcing neutrality on them, just let them grow up whatever gender they want.

[@badinsurance9662]

Dumb Bitch your a weird one

[@tannertamej5955]

Dumb Bitch god damn democrat

[@SiaLaterZ]

When you try to be so inclusive, that you actually are doing the opposite. I’m lgbt but at some point, all these labels are taking us steps backwards.

[@kattodoggo3868]

Yes because having more labels that we can fit people into is a step bgackwards. God forbid we go back to medieval times

[@kirstein108]

@@kattodoggo3868 Tbh it is. Why do we need so many labels? Just allow people to do what they want without needing a label. And these are children, they don't even know what any of this means bruh.

[@stripeybeast]

I have a 2.5 yr old daughter. Her favorite things are makeup, dinosaurs, halloween, cars, barbies, fossils, watching football, wearing pricess dresses. Has nothing to do with her gender. She’s exploring the world with new eyes and is *surprise* fascinated by the things that BOTH mommy and daddy like. None of this is gendered. Its just a kid being a kid. This whole thing feels very regressive.

[@Iustusxi]

Precisely. Even as a person like me who holds traditional views, I wouldn't care about my son playing with whatever. What makes them a male isnt what toys they play with, its just who they are.

[@giftofthewild6665]

Exactly. Let the kids play with what they want, don't stifle them, and just let them be who they want to be. There's no law that says girls must play with dolls or boys must play with trucks.

[@unnaturaldisaster1728]

agreed. Far left ideals like this seem to go full circle back to gender norms, saying they’re raising a child “without gender” because they don’t like gender norms. Gender and gender norms are two completely different things. Doesn’t matter whether you’re a girl or a boy, you can like cars, barbies, sports, fairies, etc

[@sarahkwast1250]

Exactly! We don't need to get rid of gender, we need to get rid of gender stereotypes. Let kids be kids. But don't make 'boy' and 'girl' bad words. Boy and girl are physical descriptions, not emotional decisions. My sister was born female, but has never liked the stereotypical female clothes or toys. She is suspected to be trans because her birth mother was on a lot of drugs, which could have prevented the testosterone needed to make the baby a boy. Mentally she feels like a boy. She has struggled with hating her body because it looks female and she doesn't feel female. We have always said she is perfect as she is, inside and out. We don't tell her to call herself a boy because boy is a physical thing and physically she is female. Instead we tell her to wear what she wants, do activities she enjoys, and date who she chooses. She is, and will always be, she. But more importantly she is a person who is free to be herself, regardless of her gender.

[@beefree2583]

Exactly

[@denisemichelle448]

This is profoundly sad. What a horrible social experiment of which these parents are allowing their children to be a part. I was a HUGE tomboy growing up … I have always loved beautiful things, I suppose if I were a child now I would be confused abt my identity. I am a very feminine woman who absolutely loves the opposite sex - namely the anatomy. What I’m saying is all of the is gender fluidity total nonsense. What this is a recipe for an end of our species!

[@graceerickson8663]

I don't think that you should force being Non-Binary on children. I would use the gender pronoun they were born with, and if they decide they are the opposite or neither or both when they are older that is wonderful, and I will love and support them in whatever they choose. I think they should be able to play with whatever toys they like, whether it be dolls or cars. At first, obviously, babies can't choose- but as the kids get older and are able to do things themselves, they'd be able to wear whatever they want. Like, letting them lead the way in a store to find clothes they want (or toys if they were good lately). I'd start bringing up a boy as a boy or girl as a girl, to at least give them a basis they can work off of, so if in the future they find they are Non-Binary or Transgender, they'll be able to tell the difference and not be confused. The Mapa in this seems to be really pressing the kids to be like hen. Shoving dresses and pink in their faces, and continually asking what the child's gender is that day. Kids of that age don't understand what gender truly is, and the science behind it. They can say "yes" when they really mean "no" and vice versa because that's how kids are. I'm not saying little kids aren't smart (I've been out-smarted many times by my six year-old younger cousins :) but I feel questions like these should be answered when they're older. And probably only by a few years. I'm very liberal and am open to all, but I disagree with some of these methods.

[@humanbeing7556]

Moon Runner agreed

[@hiddenwithinthepages1373]

Moon Runner I completely agree with you. I grew up being able to play with what I want and dress how I want. I was a Tomboy. Sometimes I would claim I wished I was a boy but I learned that I was a Tomboy. It's not that I wanted to be a boy I wanted to be like a boy. I was able to figure that out myself. If these kids where given the time to grow to know themselves they would have began to piece together who they are.

[@graceerickson8663]

Yes absolutely

[@user-qq7br5gh7s]

I agree. Mapa is being subtly (and unintentionally!) coercive about the kids' gender.

[@LeMaDo1470]

Moon Runner couldn't agree more!

[@VimeleosZen]

To be honest, Mapa is pushing his beliefs on the child just like how typical parents do and it may not be healthy. There's a chance that the kids will rebel and grow up not wanting to be like them. That's just what I thought after it seemed like Mika felt forced to choose on what to be gendered that day. If Mapa was so open about gender, there shouldn't be an emphasis on it for a child because it's just confusing.

[@sketch735]

Exactly, if it's not something to be defined by, why are they so preoccupied with avoiding gender expression.

[@alexanderargead5430]

They are members of a cult like extremist ideology and that is leading them to psychologically damage innocent children.

[@tarkiss]

He is also pushing his beliefs on other people, like the letter he wrote to the parents of Mika's classmates, telling them what they should call them or what they should not ask.

[@bobbyevans8136]

It's not a belief. They said they literally were born intersex, which if you don't understand what that means is being born with both male n female characteristics, like in a physical sense. Some intersex people can be born with both male n female genetalia.

[@lavoniaholloway1245]

@@bobbyevans8136 being born with both male and female genitalia is extremely rare. They’re called “true hermaphrodites”. He may not be that type of intersex person but I’m cool with your point

[@lionesslux6816]

I was a tomboy when I was little but as a teenager, I started enjoying being feminine. As an adult, I often get compliments because I am super feminine. I am glad that my parents didn't question my mental sex when I was playing with the boys in kindergarten and hated looking girly. For me, it was just about my wish of being like my big brother and his friends. I'm afraid that more kids than necessary get confused by questioning their sexe like in Sweden.

[@JB-le6zm]

Same here! I'm the "tomboy in a dress 👗 " 100% woman!

[@peterwallis4288]

Very similar to my experience. I used to play with "girlie" toys (as well as cars) and had more friends who were girls. I'm glad they didn't encourage me to question my gender at an age I probably didn't even have a good concept of who I was or what gender was.

[@yveje9720]

Me too! I actually recall that I used to hate wearing dresses my mom used to make me wear them to go to church on Sundays. I was very much a tomboy but other than that my parents didn’t bother me especially not with toys or anything like that, I was pretty much able to play with whatever I liked as long as it wasn’t dangerous lol! Anyways as I got into puberty I became a lot more into feminine things and now I’m actually pretty much a girly girl

[@puglover6113]

Same story with me! I was tomboy in elementary school but now in high school, I’m probably the girliest girl in school. I’m so happy that my parents didn’t put any gender ideas into my head. I’m a female and always will be

[@audreymcknight]

a lot of people with patterns like yours were vulnerable to internalized misogyny as kids

[@explainableai6975]

I can clearly see what is happening to Mika. Obviously this is the beginning of the rebellion phase. Mika does not like that the parents are always forcing him/her to always think about gender. It would not suprise me if he just starts rejecting everything his parents have told and starts embracing his masculine side just to get a kick out of his parents. This will obviously come in his teenage years

[@2222ben]

This was the most confusing introduction to a family ever

[@wokeupnew]

2222 Ben exactly like what’s going on. let the children do what they want and let them find their sexuality and gender etc but don’t force it on them. i still don’t even understand intersex anyway 😂

[@coconut4090]

2222 Ben nirvana?

[@2222ben]

@@coconut4090 yes

[@connornewman1992]

These parents have no difference with parents who forced children to marry at very young age. They force children to make bias decision about their gender when they both mentally and physically are not ready yet to make such big decision. These parents should be jailed!

[@totohomono728]

I agree: There are no boy or girl colours, or boy and girl toys BUT dos that mean there are more than two genders?!? Can't there just be girls who like cars and boys who want long hair?

[@purpledawn2727]

Exactly!!! Why can't people just chill and let kids be kids. If the parents are so "gender neutral" then why not just use the words "boy/girl" and let the kids themselves figure out who they are. I guess these parents don't want their kids to feel weird or out of place if they don't fit the classic "girl and boy stereotype" or are trans, but how would they even know they are trans? I mean even trans people have the "luxury" of wanting to be the opposite sex, but these kids will be too confused to even realize that. And instead of being gender neutral and avoiding biological facts, why not raise "girls who likes cars" or "boys who likes dolls" or even better, just raise kids who are confident enough to be who they are without having to worry about this crap in the first place.

[@chief_queef]

The fuck wrong with you guy you cuc

[@dbm-yv1gl]

There are more than 2 genders. Some people feel uncomfortable identifying as the gender they're born in, but they don't embrace the other gender, which is why they call themselves non-binary. Non-binary is an umbrella term, which branches out to so many non-binary gender identities. Identifying more of a male but not fully embracing as a male is called a demiboy / demi man

[@dbm-yv1gl]

John North Lol those conspiracy theories are ridiculous

[@edwardhoffenheim3249]

dbm 4794 That's called a personality. Not some made up gender.

[@panypo7211]

Trans person here, just let them pick what they like. I feel like they’re forced to be “gender neutral”.

[@panypo7211]

Jaya K For toys and clothes? They should be allowed to pick (clothes to some extent). Having different clothes or toys probably won’t “confuse them”. They’re just going to have stuff that they actually want to play with.

[@jadekombe5227]

@@jayak8217 the problem is that in my opinion there shouldn't be a difference in raising a girl or a boy. You raise your child as a child. Why is it so necessary to distinguish on their sex?

[@jadekombe5227]

@@jayak8217 I guess we don't then. I'm convinced that you should listen to their will and not to their sex.

[@jadekombe5227]

@@jayak8217 of course you don't have to let them do dangerous stuff. But it's not like your killing them by letting them wear a tuttu

[@jadekombe5227]

@@jayak8217 yes, it can. Please look into misgendering and suicide. The numbers will shock you.

[@Bela.r.20]

Adult woman climbing tree after 5 year olds while asking "what do you think about gender?" to those same 5 year olds. Not weird at all...