Ranking Every Smash Bros Stage by How Safe It Is

[@j0rts]

Download Asphalt Legends Unite now: gmlft.co/alu-j0rts Stay safe out there and keep an eye out for bowling balls. #asphaltlegendsunite #alupartner

[@404Errored]

Yeah I'd rather a game that isn't a microtransaction hellhole made by soulless corporate scumbags thanks.

[@danyialkhan4107]

Cool

[@QuasoIsNotFood]

Did you manage to get the Randy car?

[@AuraArondight]

That is not Smash Bros. It's not even remotely related to Smash Bros. Why is it here.

[@SmileyFaceCentral]

I’d rather download malware

[@adampelletier7102]

I disagree with Luigi's Mansion rating, any house is unsafe if you go and destroy all the structural supports.

[@LinkTheOnePieceFan]

Well who would do that? A saftey worker wouldn’t destroy private property

[@SnuggliestBug]

All that stage has to do is make some repairs and then it will get a higher rating... Maybe it was being rated during renovations on accident

[@auroralovesmettaton8509]

What about the ghosts?

[@number16kelbax]

Similarly, any house can be safe if you get rid of the whole house.

[@awesomecrazyboy]

@@number16kelbax Smh, you forgot about splinters!

[@Pumpernikkle]

my favorite part is how your mii looks like a nice respectable worker

[@Benbenben556]

Waitttt 15 hours agooo…….

[@GameCatastrophe]

And Randy looks like Randy

[@The_Jay_Cool]

How did you comment before the video was posted

[@the_zeldario]

hold it… how was this posted before the video went live??

[@GrayEpik]

This isn’t a premiere.. HOW

[@Terrivel119]

“The fact that aliens exist here brings this to a 5.4/10.” Yeah, but did the aliens bring the score up or down? We need to know!

[@Etrual]

If they brought it down, I think that's unfair. They could be friendly aliens.

[@rushink]

If it's anything like France, it's gotta be down

[@decknightlmao]

​@@Etrualmr Saturns approve

[@sdsherman19]

He says “I mean its not really doing anything, but the fact that aliens exist here brings this to a 5.4/10” The beginning implies that he doesn’t mind the aliens, and then says but which implies that it brought the score down.

[@TristenAraujo]

He was gonna rate it 8"!3?#6*!_92-;@(")_!$/10 before, but then because of the aliens, he 82!_$+1-?$9_)"(- it iwndldh to 5.4/10

[@jwadehoogie]

I really hope Randy gets good healthcare with this job.

[@dr.archaeopteryx5512]

With how ready he is to jump into bottomless pits? He better!

[@TheOneGuy1111]

Yeah, but he'll flail around in the hospital bed, destroy all the medical equipment with bowling balls, and attack the doctor.

[@BryantRice-mn3sb]

Randy wants to commit suicide

[@Miguel-1000pounds]

True/Justice for Randy

[@FalseHerald]

I'm not sure your analysis of these stages meets my standards for rigor and consistency. This Randy guy on the other hand, he seems like a sharp fellow. He's always showing initiative and investigating hazards face first.

[@GeneralCane]

You don't get "employee of the month" at SBOSHA 2 years running by delicately tip-toeing around.

[@WolfRider2002]

Hey. There's a reason why these two are partnered together. Randy tests the hazards to gage the danger level, and Jorts takes notes on the dangers while looking out for the less obvious dangers. One is not immediately better than the other

[@Introbulus]

If we all ask j0rts to make a video about which fighter in Smash Ultimate is most safe, we can trick him into making a fighter tier list.

[@PainthomasYT]

You fucking genius... 💀💀💀

[@HeheHoohooo]

Isabelle is easily most dangerous

[@Introbulus]

@@HeheHoohooo Undomesticated Canine.

[@Olivia0129]

U r smurt

[@davidthecommenter]

olimar has high risk high reward potential if we're dealing with canon size. imagine dying because olimar sent a squadron of pikmin to kill you from the inside

[@mimisezlol]

The sequel to the unraveled OSHA violation video

[@noskillrequired9532]

RIP unraveled

[@gravajaumbros]

While nothing can ever top the unhinged nature of BDG, I gotta say that Randy does bring in a whole new element that I really enjoy.

[@mimisezlol]

​@@gravajaumbros I agree, though mushroom kingdom getting a lower score than both battlefields is a crime.

[@AlessandroVigliotti-ny2jw]

The safe inspector will be so happy after discovering you can turn off stage hazards!

[@lc5719]

Except for the unsafe edges and bottomless pits

[@AlessandroVigliotti-ny2jw]

@@lc5719 yeah sadly those are permanent

[@juliawozniczko2441]

"What do you think randy?" Randy: *yeets himself off*

[@Sunnysunbunny]

I love how i read that comment in the exact situation

[@HeheHoohooo]

Randy doesn’t like that stage

[@juliawozniczko2441]

@@HeheHoohooo ok that's funny

[@rheeeeeee2011]

Randycide

[@Miguel-1000pounds]

He’s checking what’s down there down there

[@StrikeLaserEyes]

Somehow Randy walked enough that he randomly found his way to the safety team and just so happened to input enough right answers that the managed to get hired.

[@enzo-d4k]

Randy was first hire, probably

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

Randy when he sees a ledge: Fare thee well my fine friends. Gravity calls to me

[@pikachuscoobydoo9507]

My favorite part of this was watching Randy jumping off the edges of the stages and getting attacked by stage hazards 😂

[@Potable_scent]

For garden of hope, Olimar is conducting a construction business that isn't even authorised let alone safe He has the pikmin working for free with unsafe conditions and many have even died Especially working in unsafe conditions with the bulborbs walking around

[@CharaDreemurr-9999]

In fairness to Olimar, this is probably legally the intergalactic equivalent of building a shack on the desert island you got stranded on.

[@Potable_scent]

@@CharaDreemurr-9999 still, unpaid workers doing life threatening tasks

[@kaelyoutube1660]

I almost get eating

[@SeaKetchup1]

@@Potable_scent They are doing it willingly. Olimar never hired them.

[@katiemutschler6040]

I usually watch these videos to relax before bed but the comedic timing of Randy kept me giggling too much. Reminded me of when I was at sleepovers supposed to be sleeping but too busy giggling. 9.1/10

[@dstrbds123]

I know it was edited, but Randy had peak comedic timing. Great video.

[@maurtendo]

When Randy spiked you.... I have never been so proud of an AI before.

[@Bupboy]

He's all grown up

[@Accrovideogames]

Randy is a bot, not an AI.

[@BJGvideos]

​@@AccrovideogamesThat's what video game bots are

[@timohara7717]

They arent smart, like us​@@BJGvideos

[@BJGvideos]

@@timohara7717 Yeah that's the artificial part.

[@OtisPoisson1]

I would trust randy to do my life choices taxes and transactions

[@larryandfuzz]

You gotta give credit to whoever was playing as randy for sticking to the role the entire time

[@Bupboy]

It was randy lmao, he probably just coded player 2 to do random inputs

[@dropfish3109]

@@Bupboy you really got them genius

[@Bupboy]

@@dropfish3109 glad to help, tho I can clearly tell you're being sarcastic, not that I care

[@FTN_Ale]

@@Bupboy what you didn't tell was that the first guy was being sarcastic and joking too

[@kimarous]

Onett score deserved. Sincerely, someone hit by a car 20 weeks ago while walking a gravel shoulder.

[@BJGvideos]

You feeling all right?

[@kimarous]

@BJGvideos Definitely better after returning home from hospital (19 weeks worth). Still undergoing physiotherapy near my home, gradually returning to a sense of normalcy.

[@BJGvideos]

@@kimarous Dang I can imagine. I needed two emergency surgeries earlier this month but I was back home in a few days

[@asdrubalgalindo3405]

Don't forget onnet has a drug store. Also hope You get better

[@Sly88Frye]

33:05 I always love how if you actually fall down the stage Even If an opponent knocks you down there the dragon will actually say "You fell right into that one".

[@absolutetrash7880]

Hello Mr.Jorts I hope this message finds you in good health, I'm Absolute Trash from our company's Customer Service Department and we've received a number of complaints from customers about some safety concerns over in Minecraftia. Some of the structures that customers had visited had some safety concerns of ours. We've had reports of TNT traps, crumbling bridges over lava, fish curses, hostile necromancers, and exorbitant prices for potatoes and want you to go check in on it for us. Thanks, Absolute Trash, Customer Service Manager. P.S. Isn't it a bit strange our company requires us to use our gamer tags?

[@CinnaSwirls]

Safety concerns I noticed that weren't covered: On Peach's Castle, (not to be confused with Princess Peach's Castle), you forgot to mention pinch points. If you trip and your fingers are on that stone platform, you could lose your hand or more, and then the rest of you might still fall anyway. In Green Greens, so of the apples that Whispy Woods drops are apparently so hard, that fighters would rather throw them as a weapon. There are normal apples as you would expect, and I could see someone doing dental damage if they get them mixed up. There's also nowhere to wash the apples. In Onnet, the drug store sign falls down often, and this creates an unclear egress path in front of the store. In Subcon- Huh? Oh. Okay. I'm getting word that this place is bizarrely named Mushroom Kingdom II. We'll have to put a pin in Peach's apparent thirst for conquest for now though, because all of the small squares the make up beings and terrain here seem to look pretty sharp, and I imagine this could cause some cuts to our more 3-dimensional lifeforms. Helicopter rotor blades in Fourside appear to be pretty close to the straight line fighters agree to fight upon. If anyone accidentally dips into that Z access at the wrong time, they could be diced into corpses. Main platform in Delphino Plaza has large grating holes that small fighters could trip in, potentially even twisting and breaking limbs. Does Master Hand even care about safety? Sand particles in Mushroomy Kingdom can irritate eyes, possibly even causing infections or leading to vision impairment. That could cause someone to not even notice the narrow pits. In Frigate Orpheon, the gravity switching could cause someone to seriously injure their head on a platform. In Pokémon Stadium 2, with the conveyor belts, I would like to remind you about pinch points. We don't exactly opt into these belts. Port Town Aero Drive's sky is beautiful, and that is not a good stage for such a stunning distraction. A safer time of day may be considered instead. Statues in Castle Siege are carelessly placed in the fighter path, and are destructible. Heavy stone could fall on someone as a result. There is a destructible floor in New Pork City directly over a death pit. An icicle on Icicle Mountain frequently forms, falls, and will damage anyone in its path. We all know about the hurricane that sends Pirate Ship into the air. In Electroplankton, the water cannot be swam in. It is a trap. Anyone without this knowledge will fall to their death. Golden Plains causes inflation, which isn't an immediate danger but will eventually endanger us all. Dream Land Game Boy will eventually feature death pits, but you are in a Game Boy so I don't exactly know where you end up. Mute City SNES, again, pixels are sharp. Coliseum leaves gears exposed, which is a recipe for accidental finger removal. The lack of machine guards here is critical. Super Mario Maker is highly unpredictable and sometimes features exposed lava. Conveyor belt pinch point. Ice possible. Spiral Mountain's spinning may cause dizziness or vertigo. Mishima's Dojo has the fire reasonably away from the action, but with the wooden walls breaking I fear the whole building can catch fire thanks to the possibility of planks of wood sailing through the torches.

[@alexleo-wolf4339]

Thank you fellow safety fan

[@kryzethx]

Sand particles got me lmao

[@RECES_REVIEWING]

I'm glad someone mentioned the lava and randomness of Mario Maker

[@piperformerlycassette]

I'm sorry, I think you're misunderstanding the threat of the Mishima Dojo

[@CinnaSwirls]

@@piperformerlycassette It's been 3 months, but if the original video doesn't cover the giant gaping holes where the walls used to be I'll be completely surprised. My comment is about things I feel should have been addressed. My bad if this wasn't covered and I missed it. If this is not what you mean, then what do you mean?

[@HarleyMaebry]

How did Randy get a job as a safety inspector? My guess is that he randomly applied with a randomly generated resumé, which tricked whatever algorithm was sorting applicants into offering him the job, which he randomly accepted.

[@ROYBGB]

Randy is the type of guy who would be the first to die in a horror movie

[@smartflopper]

Yeah, but not because of the killer lmfao

[@HKG4]

He’d manage to kill the villain by dumb luck but then die anyway by walking into a big sewer hole

[@comehaveabageltv]

Finally, the quality Smash content I've been craving

[@Hestu411]

AND HIS NAME IS Randy😂😂😂😂 2:35

[@Rwarasaurus-2001Kitten]

wow i love your safety character interacting with Randy truly hilarious

[@QuackersQuackersQuackers]

OSHA needs to hire this man

[@ThunderCam777]

"...keeping an absolute psychopath locked up..." How dare you shame my boy Randy like that!

[@acejay21]

2:30 DUDE WHEN RANDY SPIKED YOU I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING FOR 2 MINUETS STRAIGHT, I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED LIKE THAT OVER AN AI/NPC SINCE I USED A GLITCH SO SEND PEOPLE INTO THE SKY IN TOTK

[@Beatboxing_Leprechaun]

1:07 "Erm... Actually, That is a Shot Put, a Shot Put is a (Insert Info of Shot Put Sport) ...and as a Mii Brawler Main, I am deeply offended"🤓 Great Video Dude, and I love seeing Randy!

[@Pi-eipp]

OH MY GOD HES THROWING A SHOT PUT BALL

[@fukkthisnewupdate8882]

Rantaro no!

[@TheMegaMarshtomp]

Great Bay being one of the safest stages is incredibly ironic. I'm just saying.

[@HeheHoohooo]

Yeah, because there’s A Moon ABout TO EXPLODE THE ENTIRE EARTH

[@BJGvideos]

​@@HeheHoohoooYeah but you need to get the assist trophy for that to actually happen

[@HeheHoohooo]

@@BJGvideos Pretty sure in a timed match on great bay the moon also slowly comes closer

[@bluephoenix97]

The moon assist trophy cannot appear on great bay because it comes crashing down in the background

[@hyperfairy7779]

Its ok, there's 4 incredibly safty concious giants keeping the moon at bay

[@youtubeuniversity3638]

20:14 That's no hologram, that's a deity!

[@ImPurpleAnimations]

2:36 "Yeah hello? I'd like to report some workplace misconduct." 😂😂 (Edit) Woah 2 likes! 😁

[@aguywholikespie9743]

11:10 J0rts: ok randy you may wanna stand in this saftey pod now Randy" *Jumps into lava*

[@SagashiIndustries]

King of Fighters? More like King of Safety

[@dcbandit]

Yeah! Crossover time, baby! Btw, Randy is entirely necessary! He is there to show every possible safety concern you could randomly come across in every stage, from breakable platforms to random bowling balls being flung at you! 9/10

[@Sly88Frye]

21:30 I always thought that was the zoo. Especially since they look like they're holding out chairs or something which would imply they're trying to push back a wild animal. But on top of that there's those trees up there. If it was a prison it would look more like a building instead of just some cage with trees nearby

[@serenepastel]

I’m glad that you and Randy are putting in the hard work for all of the safety enthusiasts out there

[@Blu3dragonmoon]

I love here 2:33 randy just was like No stay down also amazing video

[@BlocKoopa]

My first thought clicking on this video: "King of Fighters Stadium is going to be rated really well."

[@Bryce_the_Woomy_Boi]

21:47 great to see randrew again.

[@PneumaChronos]

32:58 you're half right (spoiler for xenoblade Chronicles 2, so i won't explain), but the cloud sea has a similar density to water, and you can easily swim in it, also the "dragon's" name is Azurda.

[@susantownsend7771]

Randy got hired because you can accidentally make the worst thing happen and he's practically immortal

[@Meteorite_Shower]

I'm glad we have someone to continue BDG's work.

[@blazzefireee4145]

Man watching this video is really helping me through this fever, had a lot of good laughs thank you j0rts

[@j0rts]

Hope you feel better soon!

[@albireo2990]

2:51 whispy woods 5:54 klaptrap 7:35 whispy woods (again.) 9:00 birdo 16:10 palkia 16:20 donkey kong 16:34 shellcreepers

[@mulch895]

33:02 you can swim in those clouds. Even if you fell off you'd be fine

[@Antiyfgamessiahmorris]

0:16 OUR BOY RANDY IS BACK!

[@heyitsmeagain6897]

How did i get into Channels that rank videogames by how safe they are and another one that states how high the unemployment rate is in citys of skyrim and pokemon?

[@Alex-95-Gaming]

Randy got in Smash Bros. before Waluigi did.

[@Yummy_lol]

8:46 i love that theres litterally a drug store there and he just completly ignored it

[@Sly88Frye]

20:08 I could have sworn it was called Reset Bomb Fortress which that name would make a lot more sense

[@rayko95]

When Randy spikes j0rts... I felt how absolutely flabbergasted j0rts was.

[@cazulblue]

14:46 randy:STOP EATING ME!!!!

[@guestdeluxe2197]

2:40 is why i love randy 😂😂😂

[@familymclean5297]

Randy is definitely the new channel mascot

[@JoelTheParrot]

26:08 I'd argue that being dangerous to your environment like this better tests the safety precautions of a stage. It's just like in Milo Murphy's Law with his dad 28:49 You know that this isn't the only Mario Maker layout. Now get to it. Show us the safety ranking of EVERY Mario Maker variant in Smash Bros. 32:46 that's aqua good vid

[@jakedoesyoutube]

I'd give Shadow Moses Island a 10/10. It's so safe that you even have a giant mech to check on you! It's so safe that it would take some special forces guy with tons of C4 to cause problems.

[@ItsZombiefied]

14:29 "is that... a duck?" Well the thing on top presumably is, then the chimera is a mix of God knows how many species

[@Minihoddie]

The Northan Cave Literally has a world ending meteor in the background, suprised it didn't get a 0/10

[@shark_girl]

6:13 "This stage is actually pretty safe" The moon:

[@BrennoC_YT]

The thing about the Mario maker stage is that its randomly generated, so the level of safeness from it can vary a lot

[@parkerlybarger6333]

10:46 Jorts: What do you think randy? Randy: KOKUSEN

[@dinahess7161]

15:50 it's the wind waker world. Randy, play on this baton. *hands over wind waker*

[@dinahess7161]

And 18:27 is spirit tracks. ALL ABOARD!

[@1080ike]

Onett has clearly never heard about the Complete Streets safety program.

[@George-sn3bt]

You have no idea how happy I was when randy showed up,I hope he becomes a reoccurring character

[@AaronEduardoAvila]

2:36 I thought the video paused, and I had a phone call🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[@princeapoopoo5787]

the fact that shadow moses island, a militaristic compound that houses mecha is safer than a goddamn living room is the funniest fucking shit to me

[@Pupperpats]

4:56 You can't blame terrorist attacks on the construction workers for the castle.

[@Minegames616]

At least Randy is helping

[@trollsansofficial]

Randy throwing a shot put caught me off guard

[@StinkyCheeseworm]

J0rts and Randy are just like Tyrone and Paper Jam Dipper from Gravity Falls 😋

[@AnAveragePurplePikmin]

One thing about the Pikmin stages is that in the games it's stated that it's filled with radiation. That probably isn't good for you

[@asgarzigel]

A lot of the gyms in pokemon also have pretty questionable safety, but it's probably not feasible for a video like this since you would have to play all the way through the games to get footage.

[@ThatVillain-the-Gamer]

Glad to see Randy learned to do multiple inputs at once (I think)

[@JackCat101]

"stop (clap) calling (clap) waluigi (clap) 'RANDY' (loud, thunderous clap), and i'm lowering your payrate" - his employer

[@roamingnyiad]

Yes, I watched the whole thing and makes me want to play some Smash again. XD Anyway, hilarious to see more Randy content along with putting yourself in harms way! XD I was a fan the whole way though.

[@AnnaMorgause]

I don’t think you should blame the stages for Randy’s workplace violence

[@valentinvintila4246]

2:33 Randy: or he kills himself or he kills you if you are in his way

[@sillygame-h1r]

10:45 j0rts: what do you think, Randy? Randy: i think violence j0rts: ... ... ... 4.8 out of 10.

[@jdishner]

At some point you should see how long randy survives in every zelda game.

[@Zoroark_Master]

32:59 we’re technically no up to the sky, as those clouds are the cloud sea and act essentially just like water. So 5.1/10 is a way to low score for what is especially a very friendly talking boat…

[@YGK-tu8cy]

I like the idea! Nice video, hope Randy learns to be safer tho

[@WadelDee]

Why do so many stages have you fly around on platforms that transport you to various places or even teleport you to various places? Why can't I just walk around whereever I want?

[@HCHaven7619]

"I give this a six point- *sees part of tower fall apart* -a 5.7 out of 10." 🤣🤣🤣

[@jeffreyjeffrey107]

Thank you for being aware of those who play unsafe maps

[@Sly88Frye]

5:55 crocodiles. Kremlings are based off of crocodiles and not alligators and it's the jungle so if it's based off of like African jungles then they're definitely crocodiles and not alligators which are in the Eastern parts of the Americas

[@Splotch-015]

Great to see Randy’s back!

[@WooperTrooper912]

2:51 He has a name. Don’t disrespect whispy like that

[@fukkthisnewupdate8882]

it's whispy woods, that's more respect than he usually gets

[@The_Goofy_Plush]

8:39 yooooo that Yellow house looks very familiar… like ive seen it somewhere else before. And looks like the exact same place except i cant put my finger on it *gets flashbacks of a Blue Haired Girl*

[@WTheW_gaming]

I like the idea of Randy in Smash. Also, points for putting Waluigi in Smash; I know a lot of folks have apparently been wanting that. 33:06 Did anyone else see that facepalm at the lower left? 🤦

[@MoonriseMystery]

I like how Randy is in on the safety inspections now!

[@PAHSerCuz]

From the beginning I knew king of fighters stage would be the safest. When I play with my little brother, I pick that stage because he can’t fall off and he can’t walk off

[@hyndmanevan]

Now we can fight to the death without worrying about any danger on the stages!

[@mathiassvendsen9788]

“If you can dodge a bowling ball, you can dodge safety hazards!” - Randy, probably

[@elliotgandersen]

It’s crazy how Termina is one of the safest places despite the game being an apocalypse.

[@TheMegaMarshtomp]

@@elliotgandersen Everything seems fine as long as you never look up.

[@Voidling242]

this is why safety inspectors shouldn't be deranged psychopaths