Which Smash Characters have Canonically Smashed?

a man fantasizing about fictional characters while trying to pass it off as a youtube video
Check out the 2 videos that inspired this one
• Which Smash Bros chara...
• Which Smash Bros Chara...
Also Check out this guy who did this before me I found his video part way through editing and I'm now excited to see if our conclusions differed in any way
• Who in Smash has Smashed?
Twitter: @PMJ11_
TikTok: @pmj11_
Timestamps to come if I remember

[@blue_boo3171]

15:08 "There are no known parents anywhere in Splatoon." Cap'n Cuttlefish (Callie and Marie's grandfather): "Am I a joke to you?"

[@ASwitchDog]

illegitimate children

[@hisen3.146]

You know it's gotten serious when blue boo can't even make a pun.

[@ikercervera6071]

I kianda forgit abut that, being my self a splatoon fan, maybe that way he didnt know

[@humbloom]

Ok, I know this technically isn't the Inklings but Sheldon has a grandfather that has a portrait in his shop and has an entire arc revolving around getting his grandpa's treasure back in the official Splatoon manga, where he makes an appearance, soooo...

[@LinktheCommunistWaifu]

Alright, one thing that I have to say about Young Link's placing. In Twilight Princess, there's a ghost called the Hero's Shade that appears, and it was confirmed that the Link from Twilight Princess is a descendant of the Link from Ocarina of Time. And Young Link is the Link from Ocarina of Time. That means that Young Link did eventually do it, but not at the age he is in smash bros. So I think that puts him in the confirmed tier.

[@PMJ11_]

Whoops

[@blu3g]

I was about to mention this, thanks for saving me the effort

[@TheTwistedTreant526]

But YLink has never shaboinked. He is GOING to shaboink in the future. The Smash character is Young Link, not Hero's Shade

[@blu3g]

@@TheTwistedTreant526 the Pyra and Mythra we got in smash aren't the ones who shaboinked either, yet there they are

[@LinktheCommunistWaifu]

@@TheTwistedTreant526 Yeah, and he counted anyone who had descendants, like Marth and Ike.

[@ashliez91]

OBJECTION! There is a game called "Tomodachi Life" where a female mii and a male mii can make babies. This is a spinoff game featuring the mii's. so they would be in probably.

[@extremmefan7305]

It's essentially a Pokemon situation. They could do it, but there's no story or lore where they're confirmed to. (Especially since the three default Miis are nameless Guests, with no basis to their appearance in any known Mii game and thus no material to work off of aside from "they're Miis")

[@gferrol118]

Yeah, but the joke is that miis are the player, so he put them there since he hasn't done it

[@polocatfan]

this is optional content that not every mii does.

[@extremmefan7305]

@@polocatfan so is putting Pokemon in the Day Care with a compatible Egg Group mate (or a Ditto), and that's accounted for.

[@user-Tod-The-Toadster]

6:22 OBJECTION! In one of the boss fights with K.Rool, he explicitly says that his wife is gonna kill him for destroying her pans. My man got some Badoink.

[@lorelaimorace-kk1xz]

Well in the "which ssbu characters have been kissed" they said that it was just a funny line and k rool don't have no wife

[@user-Tod-The-Toadster]

@@lorelaimorace-kk1xz man, what do the creators know? Us fans OBVIOUSLY are always right.🤡 Edit: didn't realize people don't know what sarcasm is.

[@lorelaimorace-kk1xz]

@@user-Tod-The-Toadster cus they created it I won't bother

[@MatheoZ14]

@@user-Tod-The-Toadster as a dk country fan, that was literally a one-off joke. chill dude

[@extremmefan7305]

@@user-Tod-The-Toadster Her source is that in an interview, a Rare developper specifically said the line about K Rool's wife was a throwaway reference, making it likely just a gag for comic relief.

[@adamusprime403]

12:18 my theory is that Akechi is an unwed child, and took his mother's surname, and never got to know his biological father.

[@christiannorton9400]

That was my thinking too

[@Suitedbot1127]

Maybe he wasn't wanted

[@bakedbeans975]

This guy’s search history after this video must be foul

[@IsYeaYesyup]

can a venus flytrap suck a dick

[@aniiii_wxs]

😭😭😭

[@AnAveragePurplePikmin]

"I swear it's not what it looks like!"

[@malevolenc_y]

"it was research for a video" gotta be the most unbelievable shit ever

[@MelonHere20]

Exactly lmao

[@drewlmao]

Young Link canonically had a partner later in life, most likely Malon. Twilight Princess Link is his descendant

[@KairuHakubi]

I'm glad someone else thinks that.

[@redspiderlilys6]

@@KairuHakubi knows*

[@zachtwilightwindwaker596]

@@KairuHakubi That is confirmed. Not the wife being Malon but everything else.

[@KairuHakubi]

@@zachtwilightwindwaker596 that's the part i was glad someone else thinks. that'st he most important part! I do think the phrasing is slightly ambiguous about whether the Links are blood, but they probably are.

[@xandoofi9393]

Fun fact about endermen- it’s probably not canon, but in one of the novels (the end, specifically) endermen reproduce asexually. The purple particles around them are actually their babies, at least in that canon, so uh. That’s cool I guess.

[@classiccat7783]

Don't those particals also appear when you use an ender pearl? This implies something idk what but something.

[@Butterman69]

​@@classiccat7783 Enderpearl is the enderman's egg

[@mjdxp5688]

There are official Minecraft novels? Are you perhaps talking about the Mobestiary? Since ender pearls have a chance of spawning endermites when thrown, I suppose you could see that as some sort of asexual reproduction, but it seems much more likely that endermites are some sort of parasite considering endermen are aggressive towards endermites. wait, could this mean the minecraft enderman could have an STI- oh god, we need a new tier

[@xandoofi9393]

@@mjdxp5688 i don’t mean the mobestiary, there actually are official novels- 21 of them at the time of writing, written by a bunch of different authors. The 4th one is literally called “Minecraft: The End”, which is the one I’m talking about. Bonus fact, the audiobook for the first novel, The Island, is read by Jack Black.

[@TheStickCollector]

@@xandoofi9393 No wonder why he got picked for the minecraft movie.

[@Oldschoolgamer13]

Bayonetta did. In Bayonetta 3, Viola is Bayo's kid from a different timeline.

[@Alpha-zb8sp]

Different timeline mean that it didn’t happen to our one.

[@titansans2956]

​@@Alpha-zb8spBayonetta 3 is really confusing. We may or may not play as the same Bayonetta from the first two games. Viola is also the daughter of a Bayonetta with the Bayonetta 1 appearance. So maybe that Bayonetta is the one in Smash?

[@drbiohazmat]

​@@titansans2956funny thing is, it's confirmed that OUR Bayonetta 1 in the series is NOT the one that was the mother of Viola. You can tell by the ribbons in her hair. B1 Bayo ends with only one ribbon, just like the one we see still alive in B3. We actually have pretty good evidence that both in smash are from 1 and 2 prior to their stories starting, or at least before concluding.

[@titansans2956]

@@drbiohazmat neat

[@devilishjester7718]

There's also some promotional art that came out later featuring her with a husband and child

[@milesfernando]

Snake can do it. He's just infertile so it would never result in a baby. There's no way Snake and Meryl didn't do it after MGS1 lmao There's also an optional scene in FFVII that implies it between Cloud and Tifa, she says "words arent the only way to show how you feel", and then it fades to black until morning.

[@helix2331]

not to mention the whole "partner" thing in MGS2 >_>

[@Jotari]

It's also possible that the reason Snake and Meryl broke up so quickly is because he can't do it.

[@deathtaco4095]

not to mention hes a clone of big boss and we see him fuck... a lot

[@TheRabbitPoet]

There's no way Snake and Otacon didn't do it either lol

[@mrfrog0913]

No, they cut of snake's snake

[@MaxEverywhereSystem]

re; inklings: captain cuttlefish is callie and marie’s grandad which means at some point he had to have parented one of their parents, so i feel that that would disprove inkling instantly tipping over and dying upon laying the eggs

[@NXTangl]

Parented *two* of their (presumably four) parents. The Squid Sisters are actually cousins.

[@jamespilgrim3774]

Maybe they just call him grandad because great uncle is too confusing. That way, he could avoid dying from repeoduction

[@cravonomire9971]

A note on Link: there is a speedrun catagory callled "get laid%" where you spend the night with Paya because she's scared of the Yiga that had infultrated the village that day. This wouldn't change the placement because it is also a fade to black, I just thought I'd point it out

[@MaxWelton]

16:23 there are 3 goddesses over whom Aphrodite holds no power, including the asexual Athena, the inspiration for Palutena.

[@padriazozzriaorizifian8672]

Additional point: Palutena is likely a corruption of "Pallas Athena" which is a title for Athena

[@andresponte2009]

Hestia (godess of virginity in greek mythology):

[@padriazozzriaorizifian8672]

@@andresponte2009 yeah the 3 in question are Athena Hestia and Artemis

[@Senkoki]

Regarding Sonic, even if he and Elise did, the entire game's story gets reset at the end anyway so its messy as to whether that'd count or not

[@christiannorton9400]

Except the 06 setting gets brought back in Generations which is canon because it was referenced in Forces. And before anyone hits me with "oh blah timeline nonsense--" Generations mentions the goddamn Secret Rings game which is a spinoff no one liked, so ain't no way it didnt all happen

[@Senkoki]

@@christiannorton9400 its not really timeline nonsense in that its just pulling from Sonic's memories, it seems he and likely Elise, consciously or subconsciously, remember the events of 06 but the events of it are otherwise reset. Also nah both storybook games had great stories just the gameplay was hindered by being wii exclusives and therefore gotta get those motion controls

[@masedaace5473]

Stardust Speedway Bad Future still exists, even though canonically Sonic got the Good Ending of CD, so maybe Crisis City and the rest of 06 function like that.

[@Eevee860]

The ice climbers are stated to be "extremely close friends with a bond stronger than blood", they 100% smash

[@Miju001]

I keep forgetting the Erectyle Dysfunction is a tier and it makes me chuckle whenever it comes up again

[@lhumanoideerrantdesinterne8598]

Regarding Peach's "I'm... your mama?" comment, I would put it as a proof that she goes into the "Doesn't know about yahoodbling" tier instead.

[@blademasterzero]

Some people theorize that Rosalina is a descendant of peach though(and by some people I just mean matpat)

[@Goldenroses930]

I mean that or she had so many of bowsers children she just can’t tell anymore

[@mjdxp5688]

​@@Goldenroses930I believe Miyamoto is canonically the mother of Bowser's children. Yes, this does mean Miyamoto goes in the "definitely smashed" tier.

[@Goldenroses930]

@@mjdxp5688 that was a joke in an interview it’s not canon developers just say stuff

[@0ceanking]

I bet you're right. She was probably thinking "Did I miss the stork? Deliveries do get lost from time to time at the castle. I don't recall asking for a child, though...I guess becoming a mom is something that just happens without notice?" I mean she was raised by toads so I doubt they knew anything about human reproduction to teach her. As far as she knows babies just fall from the sky and become your responsibility, just like she did.

[@KrimsonKattYT]

Errors in this video: 1: Cloud and Tifa had a fade to black in the original FF7. They definitely fricked. 2: Terry has a girlfriend. (Blue Mary) They've probably fricked at least once. 3: DQ5 protagonist has marry and have kids as part of the story. 4: There is no romance mechanic in DQ3 and DQ8. Therefore their protagonists have not fricked. 5: Young Link canonically has kids as his direct descendant is the Twilight Princess protagonist. His partner is most likely Malon. 6: Sora has a canon girlfriend in Kairi. He's currently MIA/Dead in the timeline but he and Kairi will probably frick after KH4 after Sora gets revived unless something drastic happens. (Kairi and Sora are both 18 as of LimitCut/MoM) Goofy probably did/will teach him about sex or he learned about during the year between KH2 and DDD when he attended school on Destiny Islands. There was probably a sex ed class or something. (Sora would be in 9th grade)

[@KirbsterBCalane2]

Your 4th point is incorrect, actually. The Heroes of DQ1 and DQ2 are the descendants of DQ3's Hero. So, even if it wasn't shown in the game, he does eventually get with somebody. Similarly, the true ending of DQ8 has him marrying Princess Medea, which implies that...yeah. At least at some point after the game ends.

[@CrystalKitty1220]

The Miis can absolutely do it. Tomodachi Life.

[@panpennyortner8423]

And some Miitopia Miis have children

[@CrystalKitty1220]

@@panpennyortner8423 Oh right, I forgot Miitopia entirely

[@belusbrontes]

Wasn’t it stated that the Mii fighters in Smash and the Miis in other Nintendo games are separate characters entirely? Or am I delusional?

[@CrystalKitty1220]

@@belusbrontes Well, I guess? But like, I don't think the Steve in Smash is the same as Steve Minecraft either. I kinda doubt Isabelle Animal Crossing has time to show up to these battles with her work schedule and all that. And I don't remember Smash tournaments being mentioned in the Pokemon lore at all, or Pokemon existing in the Mario franchise...

[@mortarman83095]

The amount of synonyms you came up with for sexual terms is genuinely impressive

[@KingCrazyOne]

I like how he kept making game specific innuendos for every reference to a sausage

[@OrangeToadGamer]

I'm glad we now know how sexually active the cast of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch family of systems are

[@SpysSapper]

Nintendo has corn games Its very strange 😕🤔

[@KrimsonKattYT]

​@@SpysSapperNintendo has never published a corn game or any game with sex scenes. The only game I could think of that could apply is the switch version of The Witcher 3, which they DID NOT publish. The "Nintendo characters who have banged" is only there because those characters canonically have children like the Belmonts, Shulk, Pyra/Mythra, pretty much all the fire emblem characters, Ken, Kazuma, Zelda, Olimar, Bowser, and Zelda. Heck, the only characters in smash with even a fade to black are Cloud, Joker, Bayo, and Snake.

[@SpysSapper]

@@KrimsonKattYT i saw one on youtube and it was like you Solve a jig saw Puzzle and it and it removes her clothes but i Guess thats not corn

[@SpysSapper]

@@KrimsonKattYT but it's at least 18+ and nintendo is kind of a kid company

[@Rhubarb120]

Bayonetta 3 confirms that Bayonetta has indeed boinked to make her daughter Viola, but it could be a different version of her than the one in smash because of timelines and alternative universes. Bayonetta 3's story was a mess.

[@regionfuego6]

I gotta chime in with pokemon lore! Some Legendaries CAN reproduce, is just that most of them don't do it or simply you can't do it through normal means. An example of this happens in GEN 7 where Solgaleo and Lunala get freaky in front of the player and create a new cosmog.

[@angelsartandgaming]

Not to mention Manaphy. It can breed with ditto to make Phione, but Phione cannot evolve or grow up into Manaphy

[@Rexiane]

So you're saying there's a pokemon game where the player just watches pokemon do it? Interesting...

[@coolrod15thecoolest24]

There is Lugia with a baby Lugia in the Pokémon anime so maybe

[@Sparkling34]

I love the unhinged implication that Princess Peach either a. doesn't know how babies are made b. has given birth enough to think that a random turtle is her child c. is a trans women who slept around enough to think she may have fathered a child or d. she isn't human and reproduces in some way that doesn't require her directly giving birth. edit: wait actually doesn't yoshi land show that babies are delivered on storks, so I guess that just must be the cannonical way babies are born in the mario universe

[@extremmefan7305]

That Mario skit with Rosalina brought me to tears. XD (Also you could've put Falcon in "probably" but the fact you went the extra mile and ended up with a whole other tier is also hilarious. And that summary of Greek mythology is absolutely perfect~)

[@StroeyBro]

The name “Captain Falcon” isn’t a lineage, but an inherited title. Akechi likely says that he has Falcon’s blood as an expression, as he was chosen by Douglas to be the next Captain Falcon for some reason or other. This means that Akechi is likely not Doug’s son at all.

[@eyevou]

Without the actual Japanese text in front of my I would assume their use of "carrying the blood of" would be more accurately translated as "carrying on the spirit of", but I'd need to look up the actual manual to be sure and I'm too lazy for that. lol

[@birdloaf2117]

Fun fact about Ryu: He was used to advertise Street Fighter branded viagra, and the box art had a picture of him and Chun-Li kanoodling.

[@balls_gaming]

Source? for a friend of course

[@masedaace5473]

That's kinda funny. I'm not sure on how canon that is, though.

[@Nameritoki]

Um, objection, babies in the Mario universe are brought by the stork

[@classiccat7783]

The amount of ways you can spin adult fun times is entertaining

[@calemr]

Isabell and Doomslayer being married means she's probably a virgin. Layin' ain't Slayin', so the Doomslayer ain't got time for that.

[@marpj6138]

Doomguy had a son that died in the demonic invasion so he can see his new marriage as a second chance for family and actually smash. Plus the idea is that they slay together and relax together

[@hourlord]

@@marpj6138 Incorrect. he had a _pet rabbit_ that died in the demonic Invasion. Direct word from the devs is that Not only has he never had sex, he does not, in fact, know what sex is and, if he found out, would have no interest in pursuing it

[@TheRandom000]

12:26 Little Mac also denies/ is oblivious to people's advances in Super Macho Man's Title Defence intro cutscene.

[@KairuHakubi]

Okay slight objection with Dark Samus. She's the final form of Metroid Prime, which started out as a Metroid, and those things reproduce like crazy. When you enter her sealed chamber, there's lots and lots of phazon-altered metroids.. and I think it's reasonable to assume those are her babies. Buuuut I'm pretty sure it's asexual reproduction.... Either way that would change her tier. Dixie must be.... very jealous of her sister. If Yoshi are actually either sexless or hermaphrodites, and Catherine is related to them.. that would explain a bit. Minecraft Steve has a beard, so he is at least.. capable. 24:00 see that's one way of interpreting it, but I saw that 100% as "Peach has been raised by Kinopio and has no idea what sex is (Kinopio presumably reproduce by spores)" Just to be pedantic, Sonic IS the one wooing Amy. he's just doing it completely passively and inadvertently. There's nothing backwards about the female acting that way toward the male, it's backwards to have the male doing it. His job is to sit and woo, not.. pursue and express interest.

[@dakotastein9499]

yeah its cannon that its not only awsexual reproduction,but only a queen can actually spawn hatchlings

[@jamespilgrim3774]

What does having a beard have to do with having done it?

[@KairuHakubi]

@@jamespilgrim3774 Well, I dunno what they're teaching you in school these days, but if your reproductive equipment is either immature or damaged to the point of nonfunction, the ability to grow a beard suffers pretty badly.

[@jamespilgrim3774]

@@KairuHakubi I guess that makes sense. I misread the message as 'having a beard means that you've done it.' my bad

[@KairuHakubi]

@@jamespilgrim3774 That would be pretty hilarious though. I did a gag like that in a comic where a guy lost his v-card and instantly grew a moustache..

[@mateofdez-chung3537]

Banjo and koozie was wild like what?💀

[@CommanderWiggins]

I cannot begin to explain how unhinged this video is. Even for the subject matter. The editing, the script, the gags, everything is so wonderfully unhinged.

[@FriendSB]

I appreciate that you're actually funny. You don't often get that with these types of videos with smaller channels.

[@TheStickCollector]

Charm when you don't have to appear generic to a (relatively) large audience.

[@christiannorton9400]

Fr, the skit with Mario and Rosalina, the Ice Climbers bit, Captain Falcon, and the goddamn Mouse were the best parts of the video

[@mjdxp5688]

Since baby zombies are a thing in Minecraft, it is plausible that zombies could maybe reproduce, however it's also just as likely that these are just children who were turned into zombies? It's sort of implied that zombies are the zombified versions of Steve's species, while zombie villagers are zombified versions of villagers. We never see a regular zombie be converted, but we do see villagers turn into zombies. They can also be cured, which turns them back into regular zombies. Villagers can canonically "flick their levers" and have babies, and if a baby villager is converted it turns into a baby zombie villager, so I think it's unlikely that the zombies are actually boinking each other. However, assuming that Steve's species can reproduce, it's possible that in the lore, a zombie could have been a person at one point who could have "filled the End portal" with another person, then been turned into a zombie, assuming zombie conversion rules apply.

[@espurrseyes42]

The Magypsy dunked Lucas in the hot spring to basically get him sick because that somehow enables the acquisition of PSI Abilities. Wasn't doinked. The implication of such is just a dirty anime joke. EDIT: Also Terry has a girlfriend. Blue Mary. And Blue Mary looks like... Terry probably Bustered her Wolf. EDIT2: Sonic's relationship with Elise, at least coming from him, is platonic. He's the same way about her as Amy, except he doesn't actively run from Elise since she's not pushy about it like Amy. And to back up the Sonic point, there's a joke in Sonic X about Chris giving him cat food because of something he read about actual hedgehogs, which obviously doesn't go over well because Sonic and co aren't normal animals.

[@adriahrin3284]

i honestly didn't even know that people thought that about the lucas scene until i saw people on the internet saying things about it, so if you ask me i think it's just people being extremely dirty minded

[@SpookyL1ttleDude]

DK has a son though, DK JR. edit: this is wrong, I am a fake DK fan

[@zeospark9715]

Wrong. DK Jr. is Cranky Kong (aka the original Donkey Kong)'s son. DK Jr. is actually the current DK's father

[@SpookyL1ttleDude]

@@zeospark9715 God damn, your right, I must be a fake DK fan

[@TheStickCollector]

Although I thought that was technically Cranky's kid because of the retcon of him being modern day dk's grandfather, meaning DK III Just what I heard though.

[@JKTuber10]

I don’t know what I’m more concerned by: The corrupted search history this man now has OR How many different ways he was able to say a male character’s pole or love making without using the actual word.

[@alexandreturcotte6411]

Terry: [Is put in the "Not Jahoozlers" tier] Blue Mary Fans: [Presses X to doubt] SNK fans, feel free to elaborate in the replies. Nice video dude, btw!

[@astercorsiglia9391]

Ok for that scene in Mother 3 its acrually inplied lucas is being pushed underwater. Nearly drowning from being forcefully submerged is the catalyst for awaking his first PSI/PK ability

[@mjdxp5688]

At least, I really hope this is what happens. Lucas absolutely shouldn't know what sex is.

[@TheStarsTwilight]

@@mjdxp5688 I hope that's not what's happening for the sake of "that boy has enough trauma, good gods"

[@cringemariobros2516]

In Mario Kun 25th anniversary manga states Mario and Dr. Mario are the same person as Mario from the future comes to help out Mario of the past telling him he’s from 25 years in the future when he turns into a doctor

[@Thunder-Sky]

it breaks my heart that to be friendly with the algo, we missed the opportunity to hear the phrase "fucks like a duck" also I would've used the sunshine evidence to put Peach into doesn't know about kanoodling

[@jamespilgrim3774]

Why do people think that peaches shock is because she doesn't know about sex, and not because she didn't know why bowser jr. assumed that she was his mother?

[@AnimeLoveLover123]

This was legit my first thought when I saw these "which smash characters have ____" so I am glad someone did it, and by god, you made it funnier than I imagined.

[@MaximeLafreniere433]

All the different ways of saying "the deed" and the body parts is absolute gold. Makes me think of the Luigi's Warp Pipe length video now that I think about it.

[@saltinefromindiana]

Thank GOD you put Ken at the top. Ive seen some tiers just straight up forget about Mel's existence and just say hes fucking Ryu

[@PrestonTheSooza]

Are we not going to acknowledge the fact Inkling, Young Link, Bowser Jr, ness and Lucas are.. well... Children?

[@zalybrainlessgenius503]

And most are animals. It's a ridiculous premise and no one here takes it seriously 😂

[@alexpotts6520]

Which bit of the research took longer: combing through obscure video game lore, or finding obscure euphemisms for sex?

[@Ep1cBramb10]

bro doesn't know the links. Young link, AKA the hero of time, does smash, as TP link is his descendant, although he's not young then so do with that what you will. The most major toon link, the hero of winds, ha a girlfriend.

[@castform7]

I would honestly make the argument that fadoodling is a highly contentious concept within the Mario universe and it all leads back to the Yoshi's Island series. In Yoshi's Island Mario and Luigi are carried to their parents by a stork implying that late night activities are not needed to have a child. Now I have been in an debate like this before (don't ask) so I already know the rebuttal. In Yoshi's Island DS we hear about the 7 star children and see them all with the stork which could lead to the idea that the stork was only in charge of bringing the 7 star children to their parents and no other child because of destiny or something. HOWEVER at the end of the game we see the 7th star child, Yoshi hatch from an egg showing that storks delivering babies most likely are not only occupied by the star children. Plus, for specifically Bowser, Magikoopas have been shown to be able to create life from inanimate objects. Who's to say he didn't order Kamek to make a child or just did it himself considering he has used magic a select few times in the past. All I'm saying is we have almost no proof that anyone in the Marioverse and its adjacents are shaboinking and in fact there is feasible proof against it. Side note: in no way am I saying any of this seriously. I don't actually care if people think Bowser has doinked before. Just bringing it up since we always assume Bowser has gotten some even though we have not even seen a *real* mother candidate around (Miyamoto doesn't count) and Bowser only really has eyes for Peach.

[@conorferguson6073]

In Donkey Kong Country 3, King K. Rool mentions that he has a wife, meaning it is very much possible that K. Rool has had demonitization.

[@jiggilymiggily4430]

I don't think I've ever heard so many synonyms for a character using their "side B," excellent video.

[@Tommedian]

Actually, Captain Cuttlefish is stated to be Callie and Marie’s grandfather, meaning he is also a parent

[@grunkleg.3110]

4:18 That's his grandmother

[@jokerofspades-xt3bs]

24:27 I don't know whats worse, the fact I didn't question you looking up sonic corn or the fact I have that exact book sitting on my nightstand next to my bed.

[@RoninCatholic]

We actually know that Young Link has done it _after_ being Young Link, because in one of the three timeline splits the Link of Twilight Princes is his _descendant_ (presumably with Malon, given their family lives in a farm somewhere vaguely close to the locations of Lon Lon Ranch and Kokiri Forest rather than being connected to the Hyrule Royal Family). The Hero's Shade is him after becoming a grown man and having other adventures, then dying. Wind Waker Link _might_ be a physical ancestor of Spirit Tracks Link, but I'm not as clear on that one.

[@balls_gaming]

i thought wind waker link was spirit track link? I thought wind waker, spirit tracks and phantom hourglass are all the same link

[@TheTwistedTreant526]

14:25 I lost it 😭😭😭

[@sonicfanboy3375]

"What does that have to do with babies? I don't understand!"

[@MarkStillPlays]

Rex: "I'll show 'em a thing or three" bro is so based he gets a harem

[@Miju001]

21:40 There's selection against people who are too similar, but also against people who are too different. It makes it easier to find a compatible partner and it helps people who aren't necessarily at the very top of attractiveness still find someone for them. We are attracted to those who are alike to us. Also, we are intrinsically predisposed to feel a strong connection to people genetically related to us - which can be misinterpreted for sexual attraction if you meet the recipient of said connection later in life and don't know about the genetic connection! Funny how that works

[@RunicSSB]

Waitwaitwait hold on, Bowser having a kid doesn't mean he had sex. In Mario, the stork brings babies, so sexual reproduction isn't a thing. It's entirely possible that the stork can deliver babies to virgins.

[@Mudkip971]

1-Young Link is confirmed to be the Hero's Shade in Twilight Princess and is said to be that link's ancestor. 2-Greninja can turn into Ash-Greninja, and in the game Battle Bond Greninja cannot breed

[@wetburntbagel]

Toad has canonically seen Mario’s warp pipe

[@Zenbrey]

The Anime Captain Falcon is not Douglas J., but Bart Lemmings. However there is one Captain Falcon who ends up in a undisputable relationship. (Please watch the anime is well worth it) Wario's ending in Virtual boy Warioland and Warioland 4 makes it clear he smashes. with multiple partners.

[@damnation6713]

One of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a minute. Glad I came across this channel lmao

[@CamCommand99]

That wasnt as hot as i imagine

[@PMJ11_]

Sorry I’ll try to be more sexual in the future

[@mjdxp5688]

​@@PMJ11_I was totally expecting you to bring up that Mario Tennis artwork where people calculated the size of Luigi's "super mushroom" and say this is proof Luigi must be on viagra, implying he "does the wahoo"

[@jokerofspades-xt3bs]

@@mjdxp5688 I am sorry but WHAT THE F***

[@christiannorton9400]

​@@jokerofspades-xt3bsthere was a whole Game Theory about it lmao

[@weirdguy1495]

Sora does have a long-term girlfriend, so I'm pretty sure he's at least aware of the concept.

[@SleepyLuigi]

Continuing the thumbnail, “I don’t know, can you repeat the question?”

[@kingvideogames]

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME NOW!

[@ASwitchDog]

Based video you made peak also if Mario ever feels the need to finally get that 1-up he can always call me

[@endcaps1917]

14:25 considering the lost sex Ed tape mario probably would

[@dakotastein9499]

sex ed tape?

[@deadlyespresso6166]

So... Mr. Game & Watch's segment implied that Mickey Mouse and Popeye are incarnations of Mr. Game & Watch... or they ARE Mr. Game & Watch... oh no...

[@ManySkies]

"Most dog owners don't like it when their dogs attempt to do some tunnel-patrol." That only applies to city dogs. Country pet-dog owners often don't care, and we're not talking about them here either; we're talking about a _hunting_ dog. Hunting (and herding, as seen in _Babe_ ) dogs are often _actively bred_ , especially if they're good at what they do, if nothing-else so that the hunter won't need to worry about where their next hunting partner will come from. That said, there's still no _evidence_ , so the Duck Hunt dog shouldn't go any higher than "probably".

[@NXTangl]

Ah, but Doomguy is sometimes claimed to be a virgin who's spent so long killing that he barely knows what sex is. So he and Isabelle could have a nonsexual romantic relationship.

[@TheActualMrLink]

OP calls himself an incel within the first 20 seconds of the video. That’s how you KNOW it’s gonna be a good one.

[@GIGACAT573]

In his franchise, Wario have seen manytimes ignoring womens to steal treasures. So he want money and money only.

[@eugenekrabs141]

19:11 Ok but hear me out: Kirby is literally commiting acts of Devientart vore to everyone and everything around him.

[@C-View1]

I saw a similar thing like this placed in a tier list format. The creator put Samus in the “Hasn’t Smashed” tier. How the hell haven’t any dudes smashed with Samus?

[@Eevee860]

Cloud is a soldier, he's immune to mako now

[@gulag757]

Bro did what we were all thinking about years ago

[@DJCosmicLatte]

As a furry porn artist... I can't believe how many new euphemisms for sex I learned watching this

[@deciduous8862]

I _really_ wish I could unread that

[@carlycarroll684]

What a horrible day to have eyes

[@ArmorAdv413]

Young link has done the deed the hero of twilight is his defendant he just hasn’t done it at the age he is in smash bros but he very much will and spirit tracks Zelda I think is a defendant of Tetra and Toon Link also Toon Link’s age is undefined he might be a teenager he might be 12 he’s somewhere between those ages but since he comes of age on the birthday he gets that tunic he’s probably at least 13

[@arfodiliorite]

Thanks. I'll be needing this.

[@HylianWolfMage55]

18:53 Wrong Daisy!

[@raggens]

I’d also like to add that Sega basically confirmed that the ages of the characters in the Sonic series are no longer really canon, so it’s implied that most of the cast - including Sonic himself - are all likely adults, with Tails and Cream being the only still-confirmed minors of the group given their personalities and stuff

[@fdsfd1]

OBJECTION! Bowser Jr. has acknowledged that Peach isn't actually his mother. He's still a kid though, but he probably knows about the devil's tango.

[@MitchellCFlint]

Captain Falcon, being a professional racer and superstar, probably sleeps around a lot, and this kid, another racer, claims to be his bastard child. That's my take.

[@MitchellCFlint]

also explaining how he has a different last name

[@-Error404usernotfound-]

Spirit tracks Toon Link is a descendent of Wind Waker Toon Link. So toon link is in confirmed.

[@Celthricify]

My wife is a HUGE Kid Icarus fan and she is absolutely ROLLING from laughter about the KI segment. IDD Thank you for making her day!

[@torterratortellini6641]

8:20 If we are to assume that the person holding the Zapper represents the person playing as Duck Hunt, then we could probably make the safe assumption that they have never put their Duck in anyone else’s Hunt. How is a Duck Hunt player gonna Smash? How did I predict this joke?

[@1337platinuman]

you’ve earned this subscription. this is an excellent high quality well made video man. i’m excited to see what’s next

[@Raddkann]

The biggest takeaway from this video is the incredible amount of euphemisms for sex

[@Kirblae]

Finally, someone is asking the real questions

[@Eevee860]

Pikachu's last skin can't smash in the daycare

[@Bismark1815]

This is the greatest video on KZbin

[@Jelly_shy_guy_man]

The fact we got this before gta6.

[@Reallybadtryhard]

I actually think that the confusion of peach would imply that she doesn’t know what it is, rather than she had a koopa child

[@marche800]

Young Link actually does have a confirmed descendant. Twilight Princess Link is a direct descendant of the Hero of Time AKA Young Link. So he definitely grew up and boinked.

[@DoopyAngel]

I could be misremembering but at the end of Sunshine, doesn't Bowser Jr. admit that he always knew Peach wasn't actually his mama and he just wanted to help Bowser? I'd say this means he could actually know about canoodling and was just playing along. That said, he probably still hasn't smashed.

[@TFD_Animations]

Dude made a fucking "Is it a good idea to Microwave This" joke at 17:52

[@Eliholz]

Priam being Ike's descendant is a claim just like Akechi being C. Falcon's son. In his most recent appearance in Fire Emblem Heroes the word "claim" is used on the official website.

[@BeeBN]

Bayo is confirmed not a virgin, She had a kid, twitter was going ballistic over it.

[@AluminumFusion22]

It was believed until Bayonetta 3 that she was canonically a virgin and that's where her Umbran powers came from, as apparently Umbran witches that were virgins were the only ones capable of wielding magic abilities.