Which Smash Characters have Canonically Smashed?

[@bakedbeans975]

This guy’s search history after this video must be foul

[@IsYeaYesyup]

can a venus flytrap suck a dick

[@aniiii_wxs]

😭😭😭

[@AnAveragePurplePikmin]

"I swear it's not what it looks like!"

[@malevolenc_y]

"it was research for a video" gotta be the most unbelievable shit ever

[@MelonHere20]

Exactly lmao

[@ashliez91]

OBJECTION! There is a game called "Tomodachi Life" where a female mii and a male mii can make babies. This is a spinoff game featuring the mii's. so they would be in definitely

[@extremmefan7305]

It's essentially a Pokemon situation. They could do it, but there's no story or lore where they're confirmed to. (Especially since the three default Miis are nameless Guests, with no basis to their appearance in any known Mii game and thus no material to work off of aside from "they're Miis")

[@gferrol118]

Yeah, but the joke is that miis are the player, so he put them there since he hasn't done it

[@polocatfan]

this is optional content that not every mii does.

[@extremmefan7305]

@@polocatfan so is putting Pokemon in the Day Care with a compatible Egg Group mate (or a Ditto), and that's accounted for.

[@ThatGuyRNA]

@@gferrol118you dare insinuate Hamburger hasnt copulated!???

[@theglassis2331]

13:28 fun fact. Bayonetta 3 confirmed that she does have a child, so she is a jahoozaler

[@jambon2730]

Smash bayo isn't the one in 3 who smashed

[@theglassis2331]

@@jambon2730 All bayo's across the multiverses are very similar if not the same(with very small changes).

[@deluxe1886]

⁠@@theglassis2331 All Bayo's across the multiverse are not so similar at all

[@nenrikido2903]

@@theglassis2331 even if, since we have no evidence the one in smash did do the deed, then she deserves her place in the "probably doinger" tier

[@ayar2]

@@jambon2730 to be fair, the only reason Bayo 3 wasnt in smash was because she hadnt been revealed yet, had the game came out early or bayo was a post game dlc character she surely would been added as the main version, with bayo 2 and 1 as skins.

[@WilliamOphus]

The one thing he forgot is that Doom Guy (Doom slayer), although married, canonically does not know what groundhog daying is according to his creator.

[@prestonlogan3808]

Then what about his child?

[@palhacogozo89]

​@@prestonlogan3808 the stork

[@Shulk_Monado]

Are you sure his metal gear can get solid tho

[@winzigerflashendeckel6894]

Where was that confirmed???

[@livwake]

@@winzigerflashendeckel6894the creator did an interview back in the day

[@Nameritoki]

Um, objection, babies in the Mario universe are brought by the stork

[@theskyisteal8346]

Presumably the stork sits some cuck chair and watches to make sure that the parents actually fucked first though

[@VailingLeader-13]

OBJECTION!

[@Sub2MilesMorales]

What is that

[@Sub2MilesMorales]

This is no time for games. I sentence henry stickmin *GUILTY*

[@shawerful5209]

Stork or not bowser definetly banged

[@Uncrustabruh]

The fact that he gets sweatier with every cut to himself, is hilarious

[@lucagorosito3715]

Thought it was shower water lmao

[@GrassiestGrassy]

*Research* gets stressful, you know.

[@ADAJ342]

Am I the only one who got the joke that he is getting wet?

[@Kjf365]

​@lucagorosito3715 Irl it's likely shower water, but for storyline purposes it's supposed to be sweat.

[@lucagorosito3715]

@Kjf365 I get that, I just meant like the joke was he kept getting wetter cause he was in the tub

[@mortarman83095]

The amount of synonyms you came up with for sexual terms is genuinely impressive Edit: the amount of people correcting me over innuendo, simile, metaphor etc. is genuinely concerning No but seriously I'm a linguist and even I can't be bothered with this level of detail. The purpose of language is communication, if I have properly conveyed the message in my mind then I have succeeded and no further discussion is required unless this is a university. But guess what? It's a YT comment section.

[@KingCrazyOne]

I like how he kept making game specific innuendos for every reference to a sausage

[@TheGreatSayaMan0212]

My favourite one is Jahoozler. That’s part of my vocabulary now

[@Lolmmm-d2i]

Ya now, gotta keep monatized

[@Marvelfanatic3658]

Ok

[@dylanjoyce8104]

He said souring the crout as I read this comment

[@wander7812]

Small correction: In Bayonetta 1, through one of the dialogues of the demon marchant character, he implies that he had slept with Bayonetta at least once, through one of his greeting dialogues. "Looking for business, or pleasure? - either way, I'll hook you up." This is not her first time seeing this man. There's also this one dialogue where Bayonetta said "I'm not interresting in taking care of children boy. Making them though? -- that's another story..." So we can safely assume Bayonetta is not just a shiboinker, but an VERY active one.

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

Oh she absolutely is. She is the kind of person who is fully in control of her tangoing.

[@leargamma4912]

She literally has a kid in 3. Why are people acting like the ending doesn't exist ​@@HappyBeezerStudios

[@ChipToothPrime]

​@@leargamma4912 dude! THANK you!! I was scrolling the comments to see if anyone would mention it. I'll admit Bayonetta 3 left a lot to be desired.. but did ANYONE play and finish it?!

[@NXTangl]

Ah, but Doomguy is sometimes claimed to be a virgin who's spent so long killing that he barely knows what sex is. So he and Isabelle could have a nonsexual romantic relationship.

[@SSSavanti]

he probably did it when he was still a human

[@Magik_Goose]

@@SSSavanti creator confirmed he doesn't know what sex is

[@SSSavanti]

@@Magik_Goose He probably just forgot what it is from eons of killing demons, but that doesn't take away from the fact that when he was still a human, he had a wife whom which he had a son

[@Magik_Goose]

@@SSSavanti but then isabelle wouldn't be probably anymore, cause she married to doom who doesn't know what sex is

[@KeyboardTarantula]

ah, but didn't they say all doom content is canon at some point?? (potentially false rumor) need I bring up the accursed forbidden fruit?

[@LinktheCommunistWaifu]

Alright, one thing that I have to say about Young Link's placing. In Twilight Princess, there's a ghost called the Hero's Shade that appears, and it was confirmed that the Link from Twilight Princess is a descendant of the Link from Ocarina of Time. And Young Link is the Link from Ocarina of Time. That means that Young Link did eventually do it, but not at the age he is in smash bros. So I think that puts him in the confirmed tier.

[@PMJ11_]

Whoops

[@blu3g]

I was about to mention this, thanks for saving me the effort

[@TheTwistedTreant526]

But YLink has never shaboinked. He is GOING to shaboink in the future. The Smash character is Young Link, not Hero's Shade

[@blu3g]

@@TheTwistedTreant526 the Pyra and Mythra we got in smash aren't the ones who shaboinked either, yet there they are

[@LinktheCommunistWaifu]

@@TheTwistedTreant526 Yeah, and he counted anyone who had descendants, like Marth and Ike.

[@TayoEXE]

Sonic is like a reverse-Furry. He's a furry anthropomorphic animal who is only interested in humans.

[@sonarchy5158]

A reverse-furry, or, in other words, a Skinny

[@PrinceDenkichu]

So... a Fleshy?

[@pokechimp1544]

@@PrinceDenkichu This will become a permenant addition into my lexicon

[@TheLovelyAviZone]

@@PrinceDenkichuI…Euhhh

[@elderleon1844]

literally, all womans he has shown atraction are humans! lol!

[@GG553]

28:08 if this is true that is absolutely insane imagine going "Hey boss for your birthday we animated these two cartoon mice that are the face of this company getting slammed down big style, hope your like it" like what??????

[@MeepChangeling]

There are some people who would like it. Most of them would see it as a good joke and laugh. SOme would need to go fap.

[@gabrieldinix]

I took Peach's reaction to BJ's claim as either her just being surprised by the outlandish claim, or her being completely unaware of how reproduction works

[@RelativelyBest]

Yeah, giving birth isn't something women tend to just forget about, so her acting mildly surprised at the suggestion that she's a mother is kinda telling. She either has no idea how babies are made or is trying to be delicate with Koopa Jr while wondering how on Earth he came to that conclusion.

[@rizikos_]

Same

[@vantirobin9885]

oh so it's not just me

[@woodsy4458]

She prolly knows cuz she has a vibrator In Mario rpg… yes that’s not a joke

[@KINGZYER]

So you all can accept that the Mario verse is a magical cartoon setting that has sentient baby stars and fungus people running around, but different species having a family is off the table? Ok, I hate to break it to y'all, but in cartoon land, it's not set in stone that you have to be the same to have a romance (as disturbing as it may sound)

[@PhirePhlame]

Man, the Peach VA's dodgy delivery of what imo was clearly meant to be an incredulous reaction to the "Mama Peach" allegation sure did affect the fandom lmaoooo

[@ーテイル]

It sounded more like Peach didn't know how babies come about and was like "Wait, I have a son?!" as some sort of kid who thinks holding hands is how babies are made.

[@LetsBoogy512]

Yeah I always took it as “…..you think I am your mama?” Like she was obviously just confused, but we are still taking damage from that 20 years later 💀

[@Chudpope]

In the Mario-verse babies come via stork, so she could be that kid's mama without ever have done the dirty deed.

[@elderleon1844]

dude how? peach as human and bowser is a repitile! lol!

[@runekongstadlarsen7569]

@@ーテイル thats what i fought too lol

[@blue_boo3171]

15:08 "There are no known parents anywhere in Splatoon." Cap'n Cuttlefish (Callie and Marie's grandfather): "Am I a joke to you?"

[@ASwitchDog]

illegitimate children

[@hisen3.146]

You know it's gotten serious when blue boo can't even make a pun.

[@ikercervera6071]

I kianda forgit abut that, being my self a splatoon fan, maybe that way he didnt know

[@humbloom]

Ok, I know this technically isn't the Inklings but Sheldon has a grandfather that has a portrait in his shop and has an entire arc revolving around getting his grandpa's treasure back in the official Splatoon manga, where he makes an appearance, soooo...

[@nado1908]

It's also worth noting that Agent 3, the protagonist of the first game, is at minimum 21 years old in Splatoon 3 and looks nearly identical to how they did in the first game. Take this however you want.

[@diitrii]

I’m glad Xenoblade lore cleared this up really easily in the past few years, you do not wanna go down that rabbit hole

[@lonelystarslibrary9326]

Fuck the whole lore honestly lol

[@milesfernando]

Snake can do it. He's just infertile so it would never result in a baby. There's no way Snake and Meryl didn't do it after MGS1 lmao There's also an optional scene in FFVII that implies it between Cloud and Tifa, she says "words arent the only way to show how you feel", and then it fades to black until morning.

[@helix2331]

not to mention the whole "partner" thing in MGS2 >_>

[@Jotari]

It's also possible that the reason Snake and Meryl broke up so quickly is because he can't do it.

[@deathtaco4095]

not to mention hes a clone of big boss and we see him fuck... a lot

[@TheRabbitPoet]

There's no way Snake and Otacon didn't do it either lol

[@mrfrog0913]

No, they cut of snake's snake

[@CrystalKitty1220]

The Miis can absolutely do it. Tomodachi Life.

[@panpennyortner8423]

And some Miitopia Miis have children

[@CrystalKitty1220]

@@panpennyortner8423 Oh right, I forgot Miitopia entirely

[@belusbrontes]

Wasn’t it stated that the Mii fighters in Smash and the Miis in other Nintendo games are separate characters entirely? Or am I delusional?

[@CrystalKitty1220]

@@belusbrontes Well, I guess? But like, I don't think the Steve in Smash is the same as Steve Minecraft either. I kinda doubt Isabelle Animal Crossing has time to show up to these battles with her work schedule and all that. And I don't remember Smash tournaments being mentioned in the Pokemon lore at all, or Pokemon existing in the Mario franchise...

[@rosalinamacarita01]

@@belusbrontesIt’s really confusing. Smash doesn’t have a “defined” lore and were primarily based on toys that were brought to “life”, so for all we know, the 3 Miis are toys, that Steve isn’t our Steve and only characters like Sora are perhaps beyond this smash toy factor

[@birdloaf2117]

Fun fact about Ryu: He was used to advertise Street Fighter branded viagra, and the box art had a picture of him and Chun-Li kanoodling.

[@balls_gaming]

Source? for a friend of course

[@masedaace5473]

That's kinda funny. I'm not sure on how canon that is, though.

[@dashfire3185]

​@masedaace5473 it's Canon now

[@masedaace5473]

@@dashfire3185 how do you know? I'm not doubting you, but I'd like to know.

[@dashfire3185]

@masedaace5473 I don't know that, it's a joke.

[@Choppydplug]

“They’ve all smash,there in the game and ‘wrestling each other” I had a friend who said this he was banned from uno

[@drewlmao]

Young Link canonically had a partner later in life, most likely Malon. Twilight Princess Link is his descendant

[@KairuHakubi]

I'm glad someone else thinks that.

[@redspiderlilys6]

@@KairuHakubi knows*

[@zachtwilightwindwaker596]

@@KairuHakubi That is confirmed. Not the wife being Malon but everything else.

[@KairuHakubi]

@@zachtwilightwindwaker596 that's the part i was glad someone else thinks. that'st he most important part! I do think the phrasing is slightly ambiguous about whether the Links are blood, but they probably are.

[@sebastiannoriega9466]

Someone else *knows*​@@KairuHakubi

[@xandoofi9393]

Fun fact about endermen- it’s probably not canon, but in one of the novels (the end, specifically) endermen reproduce asexually. The purple particles around them are actually their babies, at least in that canon, so uh. That’s cool I guess.

[@classiccat7783]

Don't those particals also appear when you use an ender pearl? This implies something idk what but something.

[@Butterman69]

​@@classiccat7783 Enderpearl is the enderman's egg

[@mjdxp5688]

There are official Minecraft novels? Are you perhaps talking about the Mobestiary? Since ender pearls have a chance of spawning endermites when thrown, I suppose you could see that as some sort of asexual reproduction, but it seems much more likely that endermites are some sort of parasite considering endermen are aggressive towards endermites. wait, could this mean the minecraft enderman could have an STI- oh god, we need a new tier

[@xandoofi9393]

@@mjdxp5688 i don’t mean the mobestiary, there actually are official novels- 21 of them at the time of writing, written by a bunch of different authors. The 4th one is literally called “Minecraft: The End”, which is the one I’m talking about. Bonus fact, the audiobook for the first novel, The Island, is read by Jack Black.

[@TheStickCollector]

@@xandoofi9393 No wonder why he got picked for the minecraft movie.

[@pestosaladpasta]

according to the first splatoon art book, inklings wear fishing lures to attract mates, and it says that they are an item "almost everyone has in this world". interpret that how you will

[@jamestown8398]

It’s possible that Inklings, or one of their evolutionary ancestors, evolved to not die right after reproduction.

[@frankgenovese472]

@@jamestown8398Isn’t Cuttlefish Callie and Marie’s grandpa?

[@wadespencer3623]

@@jamestown8398 It would explain how they've taken over the world. With longer lifespans and parental care, they have transcended the main things holding cephalopods back in the intelligence department.

[@meatballmustard7658]

@@frankgenovese472 I thought he was their adoptive grandpa?

[@sylodui]

​@@meatballmustard7658 it never says they are adopted

[@Nerdtendo6366]

Clicking on this video and never in a million years could have predicted that the lost Mickey Mouse Smex Tape made for Disney’s 35th birthday would be integral

[@thememejester1792]

Even more hilarious is that it's ultimately pointless

[@user-Tod-The-Toadster]

6:22 OBJECTION! In one of the boss fights with K.Rool, he explicitly says that his wife is gonna kill him for destroying her pans. My man got some Badoink.

[@lorelaimorace-kk1xz]

Well in the "which ssbu characters have been kissed" they said that it was just a funny line and k rool don't have no wife

[@user-Tod-The-Toadster]

@@lorelaimorace-kk1xz man, what do the creators know? Us fans OBVIOUSLY are always right.🤡 Edit: didn't realize people don't know what sarcasm is.

[@lorelaimorace-kk1xz]

@@user-Tod-The-Toadster cus they created it I won't bother

[@MatheoZ14]

@@user-Tod-The-Toadster as a dk country fan, that was literally a one-off joke. chill dude

[@extremmefan7305]

@@user-Tod-The-Toadster Her source is that in an interview, a Rare developper specifically said the line about K Rool's wife was a throwaway reference, making it likely just a gag for comic relief.

[@scottfremin7850]

I can’t believe I remember this, but K Rool is married offscreen. At the end of DKC3 he mentions his wife will be mad that he used all her good pots and pans

[@Miju001]

I keep forgetting the Erectyle Dysfunction is a tier and it makes me chuckle whenever it comes up again

[@PilaCiu]

24:55 Sonic actually doesn't have an official age anymore, he's just referred to as a teenager.

[@SaintLemonZest]

Erm, actually, Solid Snake was genetically modified to not HAVE CHILDREN, which means that he could still have his snake get solid.

[@kninzotagoni3635]

He apparently had that relation many times thought the games.

[@kninzotagoni3635]

Naked snake that is.

[@hailtotheking7229]

Well he had a relationship with Meryl in MGS1 and Snake is quite the flirty guy so yeah,I think he definetly gets his metal gear solid

[@thekiss2083]

Yeah there's no way he and Meryl didn't bang immediately after MGS1

[@MF_Duckloser]

having his snake solid is wild

[@adamusprime403]

12:18 my theory is that Akechi is an unwed child, and took his mother's surname, and never got to know his biological father.

[@christiannorton9400]

That was my thinking too

[@Katbot1127]

Maybe he wasn't wanted

[@SeventyTinyWyverns]

Same.

[@ChatookaMusic]

Yes thank you it's a classic tale, an illegitimate child from a one-night stand or a short-term fling seeking his true father and happening to follow in his footsteps because that's just how powerful the blood of a man like Captain Falcon is? It just makes so much sense

[@VioletKatana64]

Funnily enough not the first Akechi to be like that

[@Cindie4321]

the sheer amount of creative euphemisms in this video ALONE made it worth watching

[@cycy4398]

All the Zelda's Gerudo Valleys have been filled

[@leia_gabes]

7:57 WOAH WOAH WOAH waitttt a minute. We know that the Hero of Time (aka young link) shows up in Twilight Princess and calls the Hero of Twilight “my descendant.” so he needs his own category of: will do the deed

[@estiiim]

Bro wasn't nerdy enough like us to know this

[@brooklyntufts-simon6960]

"Ask Matpat" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 bros been retired for a while 😭😭😭😭😭

[@thatoneguy5347]

But he’d know

[@bryanpratamaguo1424]

Yeah it would be “Ask Tom” now

[@ChristyLiu-y6v]

@@thatoneguy5347he probably wouldn’t tell

[@onia-e3i]

but he isnt. matpat didnt fully retire he actually stil works on some of the theory videos he just stopped being the guy who narrates and hosts everything so he could focus on other things and have more free time

[@sentinelstorm487]

This video is S tier production. The cutaways, script craft, and escalation of clearing every shelf in your shower are comedy GOLD. That’s an instant sub from me!

[@lorettabes4553]

Yes

[@amazinggrapes3045]

I'm less than 2 minutes in and he's already made an embarrassing failure on research :(

[@poweroffriendship2.0]

His script is comedy gold, but his research does not.

[@calemr]

Isabell and Doomslayer being married means she's probably a virgin. Layin' ain't Slayin', so the Doomslayer ain't got time for that.

[@marpj6138]

Doomguy had a son that died in the demonic invasion so he can see his new marriage as a second chance for family and actually smash. Plus the idea is that they slay together and relax together

[@hourlord]

@@marpj6138 Incorrect. he had a _pet rabbit_ that died in the demonic Invasion. Direct word from the devs is that Not only has he never had sex, he does not, in fact, know what sex is and, if he found out, would have no interest in pursuing it

[@shinystarmiestudios4179]

Also, I think Isabelle is canonically too small to be able to take Doomslayer.

[@thevisionary7596]

Something about Isabelle just gives me slutty vibes. I’m pretty sure she would convince doom slayer to do it with her no matter what it took.

[@YouFoundTheOcarina]

Doomguy is also canonicaly asexual so yeah

[@foxes321]

HOLD IT! At 10:03 you claimed that there is no evidence of Samus in any kind of relationship. However, you forget the 1986 metroid strategy guide, showing samus with two scantily clad women. Samus has had lesbian sex. probably.

[@MeepChangeling]

Also the official Manga has her in a bar picking up chicks. Samus is a canon bi woman, and has fucked.

[@Palindome]

I love the "they probably tried". Great comedic timing

[@kleo6868]

I genuinly was expecting this entire video to be “yeah this guy is a virgin because his vibes are off”

[@M0ssyStars91]

FR AND THEN HE GOT SO TECHNICAL IN THE VIDEO 😭😭

[@MessieJessie10v3]

OBJECTION! 13:15 In Bayonetta 3 it is confirmed that she had a child with Luka names Viola. You could make the argument that the Bayonetta we play as isnt the same one that has the kid since that whole game is about alternate universes, but my point still stands.

[@lixn.headless]

also, why we're questioning that BAYONETTA, the sexiest woman in Nintendo, had sex?

[@Apanovi]

Not only that but the "now making them [babies]" line absolutely confirms that shes had sex and considers herself quite good at it

[@NuggetsAdventures524]

I was waiting for it, thank you for your service, the umbra never fail

[@creize7166]

​@@lixn.headless THATS WHAT I KEPT REPEATING MYSELF WHEN I SAW HER THERE 😫

[@Michaeljefferson9000]

​@@lixn.headlessBecause being sexy and having sex are two different things?

[@rareghazt-fy6rp]

27:29 in one of the Christmas movies, Mickey Mouse is seen with 3 kids

[@niyas.wor1d858]

Plants have “female” and “male” versions and can be used to make more plant “babies” in very over simplified terms

[@goldenpig6453]

im pretty sure he knows how pollination works

[@Bonkpunktexe]

pollen allergies are literally just allergies to plant sperm

[@sonoftheway3528]

Most plants are hermaphrodites. Some have separate male and female individuals (like the gingko tree). But yes, most plants sexually reproduce. They do it without touching each other though.

[@Ly_Raidt]

They dont exactly but they can have babies if you interviene cutting a plant things i dont know but i know It exist and It can combine flowers but as seen the piraña plant cant have a baby plant as they would die cause the plant things is in the Stem

[@MeepChangeling]

Plant reproduction is classified as a form of sexual reproduction, so it counts.

[@MaxEverywhereSystem]

re; inklings: captain cuttlefish is callie and marie’s grandad which means at some point he had to have parented one of their parents, so i feel that that would disprove inkling instantly tipping over and dying upon laying the eggs

[@NXTangl]

Parented *two* of their (presumably four) parents. The Squid Sisters are actually cousins.

[@jamespilgrim3774]

Maybe they just call him grandad because great uncle is too confusing. That way, he could avoid dying from repeoduction

[@bluephox2963]

Pearl also mentions her dad a couple times in ways that implies he's still alive, and Marie also visits her parents in the web serial Squid Sisters Stories

[@jamespilgrim3774]

@@bluephox2963 pearl is probably a special case, since her parents are probably rich enough to bypass the typical mating rituals, and preserve their company. And those side stories are non canon lol

[@Thunderthecatboy]

@@jamespilgrim3774 inkling reproduce like human and breastfeed so the mom need to survive giving birth in the manga the mc mention his grandmother a few time and implied that she cook him food on regular basis and the manga is canon

[@OrangeToadGamer]

I'm glad we now know how sexually active the cast of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch family of systems are

[@KrimsonKattYT]

​@@SpysSapperNintendo has never published a corn game or any game with sex scenes. The only game I could think of that could apply is the switch version of The Witcher 3, which they DID NOT publish. The "Nintendo characters who have banged" is only there because those characters canonically have children like the Belmonts, Shulk, Pyra/Mythra, pretty much all the fire emblem characters, Ken, Kazuma, Zelda, Olimar, Bowser, and Zelda. Heck, the only characters in smash with even a fade to black are Cloud, Joker, Bayo, and Snake.

[@aydengarcia9073]

@@SpysSapper Thay aimed for everyone not just kids.

[@goofusmaximus1482]

​@KrimsonKattYT games that had such content to a graphic enough degree would get the Kryptonite like AO rating. Nintendo (Sony and Microsoft too) WILL NOT allow an AO rated game on their platform! Nor do stores stock such games physically. In fact, only 26 games in ESRB's now 30+ year history have formally been issued that rating. With the most recent instance in 2018. (Agony)

[@ImmaLittlePip]

​@@KrimsonKattYTthey did buy the rights to a Mario corn parody

[@davidspraguedragonman6479]

@@ImmaLittlePipNot just one, but TWO!

[@trashman7139]

"Officer, are you a kadonker? Cuz I ain't. And I'm ready to change that fact." He immediately got a life sentencing.

[@IamSpedEd]

At the end of Mario Land, Mario gets in a plane with Daisy, and suspicious hearts come from the plane as they fly off

[@mjcox242]

Plus, at the end of mario64, it is possible that after the fade to black and cake that peach baked (one that looks like a wedding cake 🎂), mario could have gotten another "cake" to eat

[@hokton8555]

@@mjcox242 In Punsh Out there is a newspaper which reads: "Daddy come back home!" with MARIOS FACE. Meaning that he did not only woohoo but also went buying cigarettes

[@Voids_Enigma]

And according to Matpat rosalina could be either the daughter of peach and Mario or peach and Luigi

[@rickydoesstuff]

@@hokton8555in the movie (newer one) peach gets a fire flower then the next day she no longer has the power up. You can only lose power ups by getting damaged so maybe mario “damaged” her that night

[@GrassiestGrassy]

I doubt it would imply that. If Mario was exploring Daisy’s caverns while flying a plane, we would get 9/11 over a decade sooner.

[@cravonomire9971]

A note on Link: there is a speedrun catagory callled "get laid%" where you spend the night with Paya because she's scared of the Yiga that had infultrated the village that day. This wouldn't change the placement because it is also a fade to black, I just thought I'd point it out

[@captainmario_]

Yeah the logic wasn’t consistent with the “fade to black”. Mario has more scenes that fade out than anyone, especially with Peach

[@user-xz1wy4to4o]

@@captainmario_ Mario’s fade to black scenes with Peach only involve her giving him a peck on the cheek.

[@captainmario_]

@@user-xz1wy4to4o same could be said about all of them 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@danielslack9114]

And in Tears of the Kingdom, him and Zelda live together in the same house with only one bed.

[@nyshyn307]

Like the commenter before me said, he and Zelda are a canon couple in BotW/TotK, but it's also implied that one of the Gerudo masseuses gives Link a little more than a happy ending. I don't wanna get into the Great Fairies...

[@ManySkies]

"Most dog owners don't like it when their dogs attempt to do some tunnel-patrol." That only applies to city dogs. Country pet-dog owners often don't care, and we're not talking about them here either; we're talking about a _hunting_ dog. Hunting (and herding, as seen in _Babe_ ) dogs are often _actively bred_ , especially if they're good at what they do, if nothing-else so that the hunter won't need to worry about where their next hunting partner will come from. That said, there's still no _evidence_ , so the Duck Hunt dog shouldn't go any higher than "probably".

[@robertperry934]

Thank you! I thought I was the only one who realized hunting dogs didn’t have that same problem with getting their balls chopped off!

[@librarychump]

This is actually true. The country dogs usually are bred for the next generation of a valuable hunting dog. Even better trained by the father hunting dog.

[@iluvchess14736]

yeah i was like "dont they breed dogs to point better?"

[@librarychump]

@@iluvchess14736 THEYRE EATING THE DOGS

[@ManySkies]

@@robertperry934 We spent a long time living across the street from an alfalfa field. XD

[@katbird2699]

"In the Archie comics there is a story about an alternate future where Sonic has kids" I'm sorry, in the *_W H A T_*

[@MaxWelton]

16:23 there are 3 goddesses over whom Aphrodite holds no power, including the asexual Athena, the inspiration for Palutena.

[@padriazozzriaorizifian8672]

Additional point: Palutena is likely a corruption of "Pallas Athena" which is a title for Athena

[@andresponte2009]

Hestia (godess of virginity in greek mythology):

[@padriazozzriaorizifian8672]

@@andresponte2009 yeah the 3 in question are Athena Hestia and Artemis

[@ThisExists-nr3xz]

@@padriazozzriaorizifian8672 The confirmed virgins of the Greek Pantheon.

[@ShiningDarknes]

@@ThisExists-nr3xzallegedly

[@Oldschoolgamer13]

Bayonetta did. In Bayonetta 3, Viola is Bayo's kid from a different timeline.

[@Alpha-zb8sp]

Different timeline mean that it didn’t happen to our one.

[@titansans2956]

​@@Alpha-zb8spBayonetta 3 is really confusing. We may or may not play as the same Bayonetta from the first two games. Viola is also the daughter of a Bayonetta with the Bayonetta 1 appearance. So maybe that Bayonetta is the one in Smash?

[@drbiohazmat]

​@@titansans2956funny thing is, it's confirmed that OUR Bayonetta 1 in the series is NOT the one that was the mother of Viola. You can tell by the ribbons in her hair. B1 Bayo ends with only one ribbon, just like the one we see still alive in B3. We actually have pretty good evidence that both in smash are from 1 and 2 prior to their stories starting, or at least before concluding.

[@titansans2956]

@@drbiohazmat neat

[@devilishjester7718]

There's also some promotional art that came out later featuring her with a husband and child

[@layelaye]

I'm 9 minutes in and I'm already in awe of the constant synonyms for sex

[@AdamB738]

2:15 “that’s the best part” wtf joker💀

[@MagicCardboardBox]

28:00 oh, you have no idea, the official disney porn vault is full to the brim. The artists working ghere have all their creations legally owned by disney, so when they both, for fun, or for spite, create porn of those characters, it's official artwork.

[@AbsolXGuardian]

And when you run a new show (and probably movie), they bring some out to show you to get you mentally prepared for rule 34.

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

And remember that there is not one, but two lewd Mario films that are owned by Nintendo. (they bought the rights with the intention to never release them, but that still means they are officially owned by Nintendo)

[@kildaver]

​@@HappyBeezerStudios...wait, two? I know about the Super Mario one, but what's the other? Also, Nintendo, make the Hornioverse, damn you!

[@StroeyBro]

The name “Captain Falcon” isn’t a lineage, but an inherited title. Akechi likely says that he has Falcon’s blood as an expression, as he was chosen by Douglas to be the next Captain Falcon for some reason or other. This means that Akechi is likely not Doug’s son at all.

[@Eyevou]

Without the actual Japanese text in front of my I would assume their use of "carrying the blood of" would be more accurately translated as "carrying on the spirit of", but I'd need to look up the actual manual to be sure and I'm too lazy for that. lol

[@RemGremlin]

"Every version of zelda's gerudo valley has been filled" made me audibly gag 😭

[@dorktriogamer2865]

This video has no right to exist, I love it

[@simongrant1015]

FLAG ON THE PLAY! you don't need balls to do the deed. That dog has definitely stuffed the duck

[@regionfuego6]

I gotta chime in with pokemon lore! Some Legendaries CAN reproduce, is just that most of them don't do it or simply you can't do it through normal means. An example of this happens in GEN 7 where Solgaleo and Lunala get freaky in front of the player and create a new cosmog.

[@angelsartandgaming]

Not to mention Manaphy. It can breed with ditto to make Phione, but Phione cannot evolve or grow up into Manaphy

[@lilFluffy_Rexiane]

So you're saying there's a pokemon game where the player just watches pokemon do it? Interesting...

[@coolrod15thecoolest24]

There is Lugia with a baby Lugia in the Pokémon anime so maybe

[@sebastianbronowicki7073]

​​@@coolrod15thecoolest24 There's also mew, which is stated to be the pokemon all other ones are descended from.

[@Ariento]

With many legendaries it's most likely that they don't reproduce in captivity but do in the wild

[@A_Goose_YT]

fun fact: Popeyes entire cartoon is about him saving his lady from weird people. its about him and his wife. you coulda just instantly looked at ONE episode and just say "yup"

[@danielpatterson1576]

This is unbelievably unhinged. I’m here for it

[@just_an_internet_explorer8038]

Indeed

[@dmann5938]

He deserves more subscribers because this is definitely funny

[@5uperpeotr537]

0:21 OH NO. NOT THE VIDEO. AAAAAAAAAAA

[@lhumanoideerrantdesinterne8598]

Regarding Peach's "I'm... your mama?" comment, I would put it as a proof that she goes into the "Doesn't know about yahoodbling" tier instead.

[@blademasterzero]

Some people theorize that Rosalina is a descendant of peach though(and by some people I just mean matpat)

[@Goldenroses930]

I mean that or she had so many of bowsers children she just can’t tell anymore

[@mjdxp5688]

​@@Goldenroses930I believe Miyamoto is canonically the mother of Bowser's children. Yes, this does mean Miyamoto goes in the "definitely smashed" tier.

[@Goldenroses930]

@@mjdxp5688 that was a joke in an interview it’s not canon developers just say stuff

[@0ceanking]

I bet you're right. She was probably thinking "Did I miss the stork? Deliveries do get lost from time to time at the castle. I don't recall asking for a child, though...I guess becoming a mom is something that just happens without notice?" I mean she was raised by toads so I doubt they knew anything about human reproduction to teach her. As far as she knows babies just fall from the sky and become your responsibility, just like she did.

[@Eevee860]

The ice climbers are stated to be "extremely close friends with a bond stronger than blood", they 100% smash

[@personrhs]

😟

[@GreatDuckKing]

Aren't they kids or something?

[@Katzelle3]

@@GreatDuckKing Kids who collect eggplants on the arctic? Dunno about that

[@justanotherguywithamoustac8893]

Ah, friends with benefits who are too shy to confess that they love eachother

[@badideagenerator2315]

Just like sappho and her friend

[@calmcraft5852]

Bayonetta's beauty mark is a reference to the superstition that the beauty mark was a sign that a witch has slept with a demon for power.

[@zacharyzwickl5860]

Also, not that long ago the devs of Bayonetta posted a in cannon art that's a picture of Bayonetta with guy she married and their daughter.

[@ElectricFury]

There are no parents in Splatoon, but there is a GRANDparent. Captain Cuttlefish is the grandfather of Callie and Marie, who as it happens despite their duo name, are not sisters, but cousins. So there must have been at least 2 cases of inkling sex between Cap Cuttlefish and their Grandmother to 1 parent of each Squid "Sister" and then at least 1 more case of inkling sex again for each of said parents to give birth to Callie and Marie.

[@StarbitO]

Awful night to have the ability to read

[@marino._.]

Plus, if I'm not mistaken pearl has A living father, which is odd

[@classiccat7783]

The amount of ways you can spin adult fun times is entertaining

[@JKTuber10]

I don’t know what I’m more concerned by: The corrupted search history this man now has OR How many different ways he was able to say a male character’s pole or love making without using the actual word.

[@extremmefan7305]

That Mario skit with Rosalina brought me to tears. XD (Also you could've put Falcon in "probably" but the fact you went the extra mile and ended up with a whole other tier is also hilarious. And that summary of Greek mythology is absolutely perfect~)

[@danielslack9114]

The only problem with that summary of Greek mythology is that Palutena is based on the VIRGIN goddess Athena, who, as the title implies, has not had sex.

[@Daragonal]

The Ice Climbers are confirmed to be best friends, they are neither siblings nor dating Dr. Mario confirmed to be Mario, he’s not even a doctor, he’s not licensed, he doesn’t have a PhD or anything. He is just a fraud, and that’s really funny. But he is just outright Mario.

[@mjdxp5688]

Since baby zombies are a thing in Minecraft, it is plausible that zombies could maybe reproduce, however it's also just as likely that these are just children who were turned into zombies? It's sort of implied that zombies are the zombified versions of Steve's species, while zombie villagers are zombified versions of villagers. We never see a regular zombie be converted, but we do see villagers turn into zombies. They can also be cured, which turns them back into regular zombies. Villagers can canonically "flick their levers" and have babies, and if a baby villager is converted it turns into a baby zombie villager, so I think it's unlikely that the zombies are actually boinking each other. However, assuming that Steve's species can reproduce, it's possible that in the lore, a zombie could have been a person at one point who could have "filled the End portal" with another person, then been turned into a zombie, assuming zombie conversion rules apply.

[@TurkeySandwich69420]

The physical shower tier list, the synonyms for sexual terms, the comedic timing, getting progressively sweatier… This is amazing content. You’ve earned a subscriber.

[@driver123]

​@@DeterminismisFreedomwhat?

[@driver123]

@@DeterminismisFreedom I do, but why are you spamming in the replies 🤙🤙🤙 Determinism is freedom 🤙?

[@CHERRYBOMB_XD]

15:08 ACTUALLY🤓☝️ capn cuttlefish is known as Callie and Marie’s grandfather, showing that they have parents. or capn cuttlefish is just some old hobo that told two girls they were related

[@LuckyGakunzi]

He made a video just for you idiot

[@LuckyGakunzi]

He made a video just for you idiot

[@Lilbuddy_splatoon3]

hmm but they are cousins not sisters

[@illdie314]

​​@@Lilbuddy_splatoon3cousins share a set of grandparents lol

[@masedaace5473]

I refuse to believe that a man nicknamed "SOLID SNAKE" never got busy.

[@yurifairy2969]

He probably has but he is infertile

[@logangagnepain7154]

Biologist here, there is actually a bizarre phenomena that occurs when you date someone when you two begin to look more alike. This is mostly a mental thing as when you hang out with someone enough, and as you adopt similar mannerisms and as you influence each other, you two can become more alike which can include how you dress, how you take care of yourself, etc. Also, as you get older with a person, your body can also change in ways that make it seem you two become more alike (like wrinkles from getting similar amounts of sun exposure, which is likely if you two spend a LOT of time together). So yeah, its a behavioral thing, not exactly genetic. There is ALSO a freudian thing about it involving "liking what you have been influenced by". So if you grow up with a family full of... say... loud relatives, you might be attracted to someone with a loud voice. This can also include looks, obviously. But yeah, great video. ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED and a bit... weird, at moments, but I thought it was pretty damn funny through and through.

[@Herorajna]

Dayoom didn't know that!

[@shadowlord0162]

Thats really interesting. Thx for sharing

[@melgibsonero]

Most people like their mirror image and thus like people who look like them

[@derpycats8072]

So why am I attracted to men

[@logangagnepain7154]

@@derpycats8072 I dont know. Maybe its because you like their swollen muscles, big bellies, or hairy beards?

[@masterspoiler2367]

If it's any solace: when it comes to Mickey Mouse, Walt Disney himself said that Mickey and Minnie were canonically married offscreen, and they just continued to portray a young unmarried couple onscreen for the sake of their media image. So yeah, they've been married since the late 1920s, and if they've managed to maintain a healthy relationship for THAT long, then chances are they've... well, you know. Still not as clear cut as Popeye though lol.

[@dtmserious864]

Finally a news source we can trust

[@Mudkip971]

1-Young Link is confirmed to be the Hero's Shade in Twilight Princess and is said to be that link's ancestor. 2-Greninja can turn into Ash-Greninja, and in the game Battle Bond Greninja cannot breed

[@CommanderWiggins]

I cannot begin to explain how unhinged this video is. Even for the subject matter. The editing, the script, the gags, everything is so wonderfully unhinged.

[@Mr_bukowski4435]

OBJECTION! Terry Bogard has been implied to have smashed multiple KOF characters

[@masedaace5473]

Multiple? I knew he probably did it with Blue Mary, but that's the only one I'm aware of. Who else was there?

[@Kayamo105]

Thank you yt algorithm for this, I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Peak content

[@doremisomi]

The Meta Knight section had me in tears I hope Kirby fandom never changes

[@jamieohjamie]

I was hoping you'd bring up the Xenoblade characters, mostly because that image of Rex and how he not only boinked, but boinked AN ENTIRE HAREM is wild.

[@OxygenC2]

Bro is probably someone who doesn't like them like most Smashers 😂

[@pedrobeckup456]

Rex is a gigashad Learn, Shulk

[@jamieohjamie]

@@pedrobeckup456 Shulk beat God to save his girl. He's monogamy gigachad.

[@pedrobeckup456]

@@jamieohjamie she was actually already saved when he did this, he killed him to save every piece of life in his world. But still, he smashed only Fiora 😅

[@jamieohjamie]

@@pedrobeckup456 Well she was just a head on a robot body. She had to get reverted.

[@SkulkOfRoses]

Regarding Sonic, even if he and Elise did, the entire game's story gets reset at the end anyway so its messy as to whether that'd count or not

[@christiannorton9400]

Except the 06 setting gets brought back in Generations which is canon because it was referenced in Forces. And before anyone hits me with "oh blah timeline nonsense--" Generations mentions the goddamn Secret Rings game which is a spinoff no one liked, so ain't no way it didnt all happen

[@SkulkOfRoses]

@@christiannorton9400 its not really timeline nonsense in that its just pulling from Sonic's memories, it seems he and likely Elise, consciously or subconsciously, remember the events of 06 but the events of it are otherwise reset. Also nah both storybook games had great stories just the gameplay was hindered by being wii exclusives and therefore gotta get those motion controls

[@masedaace5473]

Stardust Speedway Bad Future still exists, even though canonically Sonic got the Good Ending of CD, so maybe Crisis City and the rest of 06 function like that.

[@calicomarker]

Also Frontiers goes out of it’s way to make the comics canon so if 06 isn’t canon but Sonic has kanoodled somewhere in the IDW comics(which I don’t think he has anyway) it would be canon. Alternative timeline where he has kids with Sally is still out of the question though as those are Archie comics and not IDW comics

[@elise7650]

as someone whose name is Elise and doesn't know sonic lore I almost had a heart attack

[@Vick_TL]

Despite the jokes, the analysis and takes were surprisingly not incel at all 😂 great video

[@Rhubarb120]

Bayonetta 3 confirms that Bayonetta has indeed boinked to make her daughter Viola, but it could be a different version of her than the one in smash because of timelines and alternative universes. Bayonetta 3's story was a mess.

[@danielramsey6141]

As I stated before. Regardless of Continuity issues. If Viola is considered canon, than Bayo (Regardless of whichever Dimension) will canonically Bed bounce her way to being a Full-on Milf! Doesn’t matter if she becomes a Lesbo in one dimension. She can still have kids regardless!

[@astercorsiglia9391]

Ok for that scene in Mother 3 its acrually inplied lucas is being pushed underwater. Nearly drowning from being forcefully submerged is the catalyst for awaking his first PSI/PK ability

[@mjdxp5688]

At least, I really hope this is what happens. Lucas absolutely shouldn't know what sex is.

[@TheStarsTwilight]

@@mjdxp5688 I hope that's not what's happening for the sake of "that boy has enough trauma, good gods"

[@oledakaajel]

@@mjdxp5688 Lucas is like, 13 right? I feel like that's old enough where you should know about sex.

[@adriahrin3284]

@@oledakaajel his parents are mostly absent and if they used part of his time to spend time with lucas (due to plot reasons they're quite busy), i doubt that the time would've been on a sex talk

[@schwarz8614]

@@adriahrin3284 most people did not have "the talk". They learn about it in school or the internet.

[@Tommedian]

Actually, Captain Cuttlefish is stated to be Callie and Marie’s grandfather, meaning he is also a parent

[@Bron-zeAnimation]

14:25 An opportunity to use audio from the Super Mario educational puberty video was missed

[@lavenderandchrysanthemums9441]

16:17 Okay so that is true, but it's pretty obvious that Palutena is based off of Athena (The name, the shield, the rivalry with Medusa) and she was one of the very few Greek deities that explicitly avoids doing the do. So, I don't Palutena is in the right tier.

[@somebodyWhoExistsIGuess]

Counterpoint: Palutena is basically the only character sexualized by smash bros itself (I don't mean proportions, I mean framing)

[@nyshyn307]

There's an ending to Kid Icarus OG where Pit and Palutena can get married, it's essentially the 100% for the game. It isn't canon to the running lore of Kid Icarus given how the next two titles play out, but romance seems to be on the line for her

[@MaximeLafreniere433]

All the different ways of saying "the deed" and the body parts is absolute gold. Makes me think of the Luigi's Warp Pipe length video now that I think about it.

[@Gemini-Lion]

Luckily for Peach, in the Mario universe, babies are not born! They are instead-canonically- delivered to the parents by stork

[@potahtwah9591]

A small note, Cap'n Cuttlefish IS Callie and Marie's grandfather, and since they are cousins, thats not one but two babies made by an elderly inkling. Why he survived and their parents didn't I am not sure.

[@deonation3803]

Diddy was no child, he knew what he was doing with 1000 bottles

[@Raincally]

NAH

[@pafnutiytheartist]

The game and watch guy is an EXTREME stretch

[@Romashka_Sov]

It was all for that history lesson about Mickey and Disney

[@SimmeStuff]

There is an old official metroid manga where Samus is surrounded by girls in bikinis, so she should be in probably

[@CrystalLily1302]

I love the old canon artwork that retroactively makes Samus a lesbian icon

[@ahmethacikasimoglu5819]

​@@CrystalLily1302the writers didnt know she was a she

[@purplesamurai5373]

​@@ahmethacikasimoglu5819Samus is a guy in the comic. She is not a "lesbian icon"

[@zabzab444-4]

Counterargument: Samus is a trans lesbian icon​@@purplesamurai5373

[@ahmethacikasimoglu5819]

@@purplesamurai5373 that's what I said

[@rodrigosoto4827]

The fact that Peach didn't know whether Bowser Jr. was her son or not is a clear indicator she has no idea how babies are made.

[@TheNormalnavi]

Samus canonically in the 1986 metroid manga was seen hanging out with a bunch of girls in bikinis in a promotional video that she herself directed, so i think that she should deff be in higher tiers

[@theodorejohnson459]

I was gonna write a long winded comment about how samus' gender wasn't confirmed, and the writers didn't know she was a woman, but if in canon samus directed that scene it can be assumed those women were picked because they were into women so I see no flaws in this logic

[@unicoffe]

zero suit samus had canonical lesbian sex??!!??

[@purplesamurai5373]

​​@@theodorejohnson459In that same comic Samus is said to be a guy. I don't know why people keep trying to make fanfictions about her.

[@xadoc1230]

@@purplesamurai5373what do you mean

[@purplesamurai5373]

@@xadoc1230 So many people are ready to call Samus a lesbian without even having read the supposed comic where she is one

[@KrimsonKattYT]

Errors in this video: 1: Cloud and Tifa had a fade to black in the original FF7. They definitely fricked. 2: Terry has a girlfriend. (Blue Mary) They've probably fricked at least once. 3: DQ5 protagonist has marry and have kids as part of the story. 4: There is no romance mechanic in DQ3 and DQ8. Therefore their protagonists have not fricked. 5: Young Link canonically has kids as his direct descendant is the Twilight Princess protagonist. His partner is most likely Malon. 6: Sora has a canon girlfriend in Kairi. He's currently MIA/Dead in the timeline but he and Kairi will probably frick after KH4 after Sora gets revived unless something drastic happens. (Kairi and Sora are both 18 as of LimitCut/MoM) Goofy probably did/will teach him about sex or he learned about during the year between KH2 and DDD when he attended school on Destiny Islands. There was probably a sex ed class or something. (Sora would be in 9th grade)

[@KirbsterBCalane2]

Your 4th point is incorrect, actually. The Heroes of DQ1 and DQ2 are the descendants of DQ3's Hero. So, even if it wasn't shown in the game, he does eventually get with somebody. Similarly, the true ending of DQ8 has him marrying Princess Medea, which implies that...yeah. At least at some point after the game ends.

[@hunterlawrence3573]

Some errors with the last one: Sora and Kairi are 16 by MoM, not 18. (But I understand wanting them to wait until they’re adults before doing anything sexual). Sora was 14 at the beginning of the first game. His own dad probably gave him the birds and bees talk when he was around 11 or 12, so the idea Sora wouldn’t know what sex is by KH2 is really very silly. Also, Sora and Kairi aren’t dating yet in canon.

[@carloscanchola5655]

Took me a while to find a comment talking about terry but I’m glad it was this one.

[@DaNintendude]

Another error is that babies in the Mario world are delivered by stork. Therefore, confirmed children are not proof. This also helps to explain Peach's confusion in Super Mario Sunshine. As it's theoretically possible for Peach to have had a child without realizing it. Obviously this wouldn't be a super common occurrence, but if the Star Spirits accidentally granted a wish for children, then it could happen. Also Super Mario Kun is not canon. Mario is officially the same character as Dr. Mario, and this has been stated in numerous interviews. Even Dr. Mario's own games confirm that he is the same as Mario.

[@joshuabautch8936]

For point 6: iirc It’s confirmed that Sora is still alive he just has amnesia But that doesn’t debunk the possibility of him and kairi bonking once sora gets his memories back

[@castform7]

I would honestly make the argument that fadoodling is a highly contentious concept within the Mario universe and it all leads back to the Yoshi's Island series. In Yoshi's Island Mario and Luigi are carried to their parents by a stork implying that late night activities are not needed to have a child. Now I have been in an debate like this before (don't ask) so I already know the rebuttal. In Yoshi's Island DS we hear about the 7 star children and see them all with the stork which could lead to the idea that the stork was only in charge of bringing the 7 star children to their parents and no other child because of destiny or something. HOWEVER at the end of the game we see the 7th star child, Yoshi hatch from an egg showing that storks delivering babies most likely are not only occupied by the star children. Plus, for specifically Bowser, Magikoopas have been shown to be able to create life from inanimate objects. Who's to say he didn't order Kamek to make a child or just did it himself considering he has used magic a select few times in the past. All I'm saying is we have almost no proof that anyone in the Marioverse and its adjacents are shaboinking and in fact there is feasible proof against it. Side note: in no way am I saying any of this seriously. I don't actually care if people think Bowser has doinked before. Just bringing it up since we always assume Bowser has gotten some even though we have not even seen a *real* mother candidate around (Miyamoto doesn't count) and Bowser only really has eyes for Peach.

[@DaNintendude]

I'd imagine Magikoopas don't actually create life, but rather replace objects with already living minions from another location. My personal favorite theory about Bowser Jr, is that Bowser wished for him while he had the star rod in Paper Mario 64. The Star Spirits may never have granted that wish on their own. But with Bowser in control, he could've granted a wish for a child. Only Bowser knows that Peach isn't the mother. I'd imagine, not having a wife, that the baby is his and his alone.

[@salvadormilanesbraniff3511]

The surrealism of the Wii sports resort music over the monologue on dog castration made this one of my favorite videos of all time

[@nebiyuesayas5600]

"Snake must be a virgin" he doesn't know about MGS3, does he?

[@ALCTheBlade]

The Snake in Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater isn't Solid Snake. He's Naked Snake, who actually ends up becoming Big Boss.

[@camelat7228]

NO! THAT IS NOT SOLID SNAKE! NO! THAT IS NOT SOLID SNAKE! NO! THAT IS NOT SOLID SNAKE! NO! THAT IS NOT SOLID SNAKE! NO! THAT IS NOT SOLID SNAKE! NO! THAT IS NOT SOLID SNAKE! NO! THAT IS NOT SOLID SNAKE! NO! THAT IS NOT SOLID SNAKE!

[@GrassiestGrassy]

Don’t forget Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker. Snake conquers snakes and boroughs in the date missions. But he can’t conquer Chris Hansen.

[@nkyfong]

THAT SNAKE ISN'T SOLID

[@jmurray1110]

I mean smash snake is a composite character