Rant Review REUPLOAD | The Dark Hockey Romance that Bummed Me Out

[@isaacbenrubi9613]

Ima write a romance now. It's gonna be a sports-oriented dark romance around a star cricket player named Jim. It will be called "Jim and thee, Cricket" and it will be horrible.

[@slimylittlepile7075]

Guaranteed it’ll be better than anything C R Jane sharts out 💯

[@kashejohnson7553]

😂😂😂 I'm f***ing dead. It's the best comment I've seen today.

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

I WILL READ THIS please please please write it 🥰

[@olivia5024]

literally preordering as we speak!

[@insertcrochetpunhere]

I'd read it. 😂

[@AlienKnightAsher]

I know we're all used to the trope of "woman written by a man" but I feel like dark romance really encapsulates "man written by a women" in the same way. Every single love interest is like peak gross toxic man stereotype as opposed to an actually interesting and well-rounded character whose dark motivations are entrenched in a genuine personality.

[@robinronin]

Ah yes, my favorite book, The Super Yikes Whoopsy Daisy Incorrect Phone Number

[@weirdobookclub]

😂😂😂😂

[@kaleehall6271]

I don’t understand why men in all these romances call women random animals - little bird, little dragon, little serpent, etc. nobody does that in real life, esp not someone you just met lmao

[@pastelpeep]

The first time I read the nickname "Pigeon," I choked on my Reeses Puffs.

[@SilverDomainShrine7]

“Little crow” in that one dumpster fire of a book 😭

[@ladytopaz6358]

It always feels like the author wants petplay in their book but they don’t want to commit. Probably because then you’d have to commit to the basic rules of BDSM which would highlight that the main male love interest is a shitty guy.

[@ettaetta439]

​​​​@@ladytopaz6358I don't think it's even petplay. I can see it whenever the nickname is kitten or puppy because often those books emphasize the connection between the animal term and human person to a humongous extent. Those books more than earn the "this author has a thing for petplay" disclaimer. But in books like these with these strange nicknames are just to infantilize/objectify the woman and also to be "dark". Infantilize because it's used as a way to say that the woman is akin to a "little" animal, and therefore can't think for herself. She's not just an animal, she's a child animal that needs the love interest to survive. Objectify because she's an animal, and not a human, and it's okay if the love interest SA's or harasses her or ogles her nonstop. Same reasoning behind why misogynists compare women to animals--it's easier to treat women as horses, or birds, or whatever, then actual complex human beings who have personalities and will have opinions on what you do to their body.

[@ladytopaz6358]

@@ettaetta439 I think you’re right on the money

[@tomdelongjohns]

oh nooo looks like i'll have to use this as my background noise for the next few days to replace all my views on the old one.... oh no however will i deal.....

[@weirdobookclub]

Oh noooooo. My condolences for you during this time 💐

[@ladytopaz6358]

Hey by the way if your tuxedo is so tight that you can see your muscles it doesn’t fit right. For some reason this annoys me to no end that the rich male love interest apparently can’t afford a new tuxedo. I get its fan service I just feel like there’s better ways to do that. Like have him take off the jacket and put it on her (for whatever reason) and then she sees how built he is.

[@weirdobookclub]

This is but one of many examples of things that could’ve been better if ✨thought✨ was involved in the writing process at all.

[@ladytopaz6358]

@@weirdobookclub oh absolutely like how every scene about Monroe’s mother should’ve been cut out save for like three sentences to explain why she ended up in foster care. And how she herself also needed to be crazy so it’s actually a dark romance and not just rich professional-athlete white man abusing a poor abused woman. A lot of dark romances seem to forget the romance part because they want the woman (usually white) to stay pure and innocent so it never comes across as a romance.

[@sallyfield2895]

Yes!!! I love wrestling stars in suits. They look so good. They have to get it tailored to make them not look dumb in the suit.

[@applebonker141]

I really do believe the POVs switching mid chapter and so often was because the author was impatient to get back to Lincoln's POV but omg it would be so chilling if it were done on purpose, like slowly the male love interest's narration starts to interject and invade the female main character's until its just first person pov from his perspective

[@Nifoxil]

That would be amazing, imagine if it was purposeful and not just random interjections

[@hunni2968]

Awesome idea! But unfortunately we don’t get to have nice things 😢

[@jameswatson6876]

I had a shower thought about the father subplot. Why not just...give the father a controlling interest in the team? He's absurdly wealthy; he could easily get Lincoln "retired" and therefore dependent if he'd just lined the right pockets.

[@kbf5141]

Made the mistake of listening to this while I'm eating dinner. The snex scenes are UPSETTING to my burger.

[@gentle_chili_flake]

I laughed OUT LOUD AT WORK

[@amandapanda5087]

Lol 😂

[@kristym7149]

"I fear I've overshared in this moment" That is me every time no one interrupts me and I just keep talking

[@frankie9373]

Me every time the day after Ive sworn myself I wont drink too much this time and keep my mouth shut around people to no avail

[@StarshineReads]

I told my Aunt about the title of this book and her response was “that sounds like something a 12 year old boy would come up with.”

[@OrmaliSmith]

“ I’ll alert the lesbians” 😭😭😭

[@obi-wan-pierogi]

All the trauma and abuse could’ve been avoided in this book if the main character answered wrong numbers like me with a “sorry you have a wrong number : ) “ and never reply lol. But that would be a normal reaction and we can’t have that

[@iocity9607]

I’m taking this book as Abraham Lincoln if he was a hot blonde who played hockey in modern day, and it is making this slightly more comical.

[@cassettetape7643]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂✨️

[@bbo7002]

"Four score and seven goals ago, I met my dream girl who makes my 🍆🥒🥕🌽🥖🌭🍌👀" -Abraham Lincoln Daniels, star hockey player and 16th president of the United States, probably

[@sallyfield2895]

It makes this only slightly better.

[@persephonespomegranate8205]

‘Her mom might be dead but romance sure isn’t’ SENT ME 😭🤣

[@user-zt6gy9rq4r]

I know this is so minor compared to literally everything else in this book, but why on earth would Monroe's study group go to a restaurant to work??? Much less one that serves steak???? Baffling

[@sallyfield2895]

I think it was on purpose from the get go.

[@thevillainofthisstory]

I can't get over how much of this book is contingent on the idea that hockey is a universal global obsession

[@sumthinsumthin6196]

NOT HIM SINGING CREEP TO HER TO CALM HER DOWN IM ACTUALLY CRYING

[@lordknightalex]

i need dark romance authors to look up what "morally grey" actually means

[@lukaj679]

A character who ends up in foster care after their addict parent ODs for a tragic back story? Groundbreaking 🙄 I could forgive it if any of the backstory enriched her character or felt like research was done to add realism, but as the child of an addict that opener made me roll my eyes so hard.

[@gluumy.]

I know right! It’s SO cheap. Oh no! The main characters mom died and now she’s an orphan? This is so interesting and has never been done before! It’s not like it did anything to her character either 😭 she’s still 2d

[@lillyunova1042]

The way we could have avoided all of this if the FMC just said "sorry, wrong number :)" but sadly we can't have nice things

[@kaleehall6271]

every time i write something now i imagine how it would sound in your “this is horrible” reading voice. you’ve really taken my writing to the next level💀💀

[@gmc5618]

So a young woman whos left the foster system with a context of abuse and trauma is sexually harrassed and abused by a stalker? Lovely

[@User404-u6g]

Welp, time to repeatedly re-listen to this until I learn the script again. On a serious note though I find your voice is very pleasant and your commentary is on point, a shame youtube has to punish small-ish creators!

[@weirdobookclub]

You’re so sweet, thanks for watching again and for saying I have a nice voice. 🫠

[@ra_spero]

Here to rewatch while I clean my bathroom. Your voice fuels me to do things I don't wanna do, cause if you can make it through this book, I can clean.

[@weirdobookclub]

We can do hard things TOGETHER! 🤝🏻

[@ixeliema]

Convenient timing that I was just talking about this book and this review the other day lmao. I was planning to come back! Goshdarn demonitization 😂

[@weirdobookclub]

You manifested this comeback! ♥️

[@Flareontoast]

Oh noooo one of favourite kind of reviews that I have to rewatch. Oh noooo :D

[@weirdobookclub]

Oh noooo an angel among mortals, here to hang out and engage with it. Thank you ♥️

[@76kilosofshade81]

I think this is the 4th time I’ve listened while taking a walk and laughing out loud on public sidewalks. 😅 (I like hockey romance.) All it does it make me wish you’d read the second and third books. Guess some financial bullying is in order? 😢

[@76kilosofshade81]

Also, are the alternating bubbles and italics meant to represent iPhone vs android? 😂

[@MetallicGlitterPagan]

1:03:04 OK, so THIS is where I had to stop watching the video bc my step dad used to do this to me when I was 7. I’m sorry I couldn’t give this video a full watch bc I love your channel, love your personality TRULY. But this, I have to call my therapist IMMEDIATELY.

[@weirdobookclub]

OMG angel, I’m so sorry this happened to you, what a nightmare. I can only imagine. Take care of you and I’m sending hugs 💕💕💕

[@FizzyMissLizi]

I would like a “cling cling cling lobotomy time” merch please.

[@couchz]

this book is obviously creepy conceptually and just kind of gross and poorly written. but i think what bothers me most is the fact that both of the main characters have first names that are the last names of some decently famous united states presidents... james monroe, abraham lincoln? it was so distracting the whole time. also as much as i love radiohead singing creep in front of the girl you've been stalking DOES NOT inspire confidence or safety LMAOOO

[@marymac3572]

Monroe Bardot is the Lily Blossom Bloom of screen sirens, so that's... something.

[@_TheRockyGamer_]

Not me rewatching this and getting an ad for an app where you read sports romance books. The lady in the ad starting naming hockey romance books and I fully expected her to name off The Pucking Wrong Number. 💀

[@weirdobookclub]

OMG that is hilarious

[@lindseyluvinglife9259]

This would be a great book if Ari and Lincoln were secretly in love with each other but instead of a healthy relationship they fought each other to the 💀

[@Noona_needs_a_nap]

I'm a life-long reader in my 40's, but fairly new to booktube...as in just the last 6 months. I mostly read fantasy, science fiction, horror, and various other genres. I've never read romance or the sub genres of it, and have a genuine question...HOW is this romance and not in a horror genre?? Is this what most dark romance books are like? To me this is just a bunch of stalking and abuse by a psychopath. Like...there's zero romance in this, sex yes, but nothing romance. How is it not horror???

[@lauradorke]

I've become a romance lover as an adult and honestly, I'm offended these are called romance at all....

[@desicatedlimbs]

"Bummer... maybe he'll die" Was this whole book.

[@AlishaHerbiederbie]

Watching this classic gem and adding a comment/ like for the wretched algorithm.

[@sallyfield2895]

Lol the wretched algorithm.

[@Katie-RoseSvich]

Not relevant to the book but I’m from Australia and that Australian accent imitation you did is literally the best I’ve ever heard from a foreigner. Genuinely impressed.

[@roughentumble9145]

nooooo i cant believe the original got taken down(or perhaps demonotized and so creator removed, either way), the pucking wrong number is one of the first reviews i saw of yours and i loved it. really happy to see that its coming back, though! cant wait to watch it again!

[@Coyoteari]

Just demonetized I believe. KZbin is a cruel mistress

[@hayleymcgee9172]

I rewatch this video every time I feel life isn’t fair to remind me that you’ve suffered for my sins by actually reading this book. I appreciate you and your sacrifices.

[@Januaryhuntingdogs11]

Now that this beauty is back, it’s time for the best nap of my sleep deprived reader life.

[@marymac3572]

I cant hear a man described as a golden god without picturing Dennis "I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO PEAK" Reynolds.

[@myra_dork]

Have I seen the original version of this vid? Yes. Am I gonna watch this newish reuploaded version? Most definitely. Also, I'm not entirely sure why it bothers me, but there's something about some romances novels and saying the MC full name repeatedly, that irks me. It's like the author thought they were so clever with their name and will shove it down your throat. Maybe it's because it's a sport romance, but there's no need for it... we know who they are a page in.

[@jameswatson6876]

I want a more detailed book about old Bill and his adventures saving young women in dire straights. Like seriously I'd be putting people in my will for less than what he did for her.

[@celina3621]

Yes he is literally the best. The scene with the blanket and watching over her was so wholesome.

[@patriciagoncalves165]

It doesn't matter if it's a Reuload, I'm always here for our queen!

[@weirdobookclub]

You angel ♥️

[@thepalindromeemordnilapeht1267]

46:25 "she murmured fiercely".... no notes, 10/10

[@cassettetape7643]

I caught myself nodding along when you said Haunting Adeline was worse thinking, "Yeah, at least this guy's not murdering people -" ... ... 😑☄️💀

[@inklingofadream]

Y'know, I will take the Edward Cullen in the bedroom version! At least it FEELS a bit less premeditated than the secret key copy :/

[@simplyayla]

Rewatching this because your commentary on this book was my thoughts while reading it. I kept thinking “is this a prank book?” 😂 I feel like you should review the second book just for the A1 commentary 😅

[@RainWelsh]

It’s probably the least of this book’s sins, but the fact there’s two POV characters and (as far as I can tell from the excerpts, at least) they write with exactly the same style, only he includes more swearing, just goes to show how little effort was put into this bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, I know there’s always going to be a limit to how different they can be written, since it’s all coming from the same writer, but at least make an effort. You’ve got a girl who was raised by a drug addict part of the way before going into foster care, and a guy who was brought up wealthy, and the only difference is he swears more than her? Really? Come on

[@aquafractalyne1764]

These dark romances are always so tedious. Nothing very interesting happens, the characters are flat and uninspired, and the story is always edgy for edge’s sake

[@nxfrvr]

i am already rewatching these videos everyday, what's another?

[@oliveetisioro1620]

She literally called him 'antihero' when he's straight up demon possessed. My God. 🤦‍♀🤦‍♀

[@arigorane7030]

the way this could have been a really interesting tragedy/thriller concept if it wasn’t written to be complete garbage makes it even worse

[@nilbog972]

Ex-tattoo artist here- we wouldn’t tattoo penises. I imagine being excited would help, but would be inappropriate and hard to achieve. Now I have no clue what it would look like in.. it’s different states.

[@megglytuff]

glad you are trying to keep this video up, its my favorite of yours!

[@weirdobookclub]

I’m fighting for my life out here 🤣♥️

[@mirootsie1256]

Why did she not write the title as, "The Wrong Pucking Number"???? The 'pucking' is in the wrong place! Lord, give me patience.

[@ilyuser]

HE SANG FUCKIN RADIOHEAD TO HER TO CALM HER PANIC ATTACK?

[@jacquesmoreno6058]

We 👏 are 👏 so 👏 back 👏 and + also there’s something about hearing the older eyeglass repair woman calling me good girl and good girl in this context that’s just confusing and overall off putting 🤷

[@Chloeeatsdirt]

THANK GODDDDDD I was wondering where my fave video of yours went!!!!!!! I quote you constantly I swear lol

[@weirdobookclub]

It’s back!!! Thanks so much for the love 🥹

[@erensalias]

I have a pretty large tattoo on my inner bicep which is considered a really sensitive area and I fell dead asleep during it, so I’d say I have a pretty high pain tolerance. When I tell you I wanted to ping pong my body between two brick walls from the itchiness while it was healing, holy shit. Also!!! Horrible placement aside, considering his….activities?? Bro is gonna get a crazy infection on his hockey stick. That’s an open wound! Bro what are you doing!!

[@celinac5449]

THE CAN NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU OLE BILL. THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE WHOLE BOOK.

[@smeastwest]

Whenever I hear a "smoky" voice, I always think of Kathleen Turner and the Pekinese dog that sings at the pound in Lady and the Tramp.

[@smeastwest]

Also, NO to men wearing gold chains.

[@hellbound_psyker]

With the weird Faramir/Boromir dynamic with Lincoln and his dead brother plus all the hockey stuff, this feels like a cursed LOTR/Letterkenny crossover smut fanfic in the worst way. I will say though, if Lincoln's dad burned him alive and Old Bill was confirmed to be Tom Bombadil the story might be improved.

[@Cass648]

bo burnham´s "all eyes on me" begin on her playlist might just be the biggest sin that ive witnessed. he does not deserve that wth. Like why th is it even there??? some of the others maybe i can understand as they lean more onto "romance" but all eyes on me??? the song about how it was like ffor him growing up on stage lights?? about the pros and cons of fame at a young age?? IN A DARK ROMANCE??? AND A BAD ONE AT THAT

[@TheSuefriend]

Gold chain = RED FLAG!!! 100% agree 😂😂😂

[@M1nt.n1te]

I love the throwback to what you considered oversharing in this era

[@hmmm3960]

haven't started yet but I couldn't not click. wdym hockey dark romance???

[@ladychaos2412]

So far this is my favourite rant review of yours, would love if you did the other books in the series

[@Ms-Peepers-Reading-Corner]

I'm 30 minutes in and laughing so hard I can barely breathe. The c-worms did me in! Thank you for summarizing these books so I don't have to read them. 🖤

[@Hoori55]

Just listening to this book made me want to rip my hair off. How did you even manage to get through the whole thing without lighting it on fire?😭

[@juniawetmann1311]

I completely forgot I already had watched a previous version of this video and I thought I remembered this book because of another review by another person until the first OOOOOLLD BIIILL happened and I suddenly remembered it all at once, like it was a very dramatic scene in a movie of someone getting memories back. Still watching it all again bc it was really funny the first time. (And commenting to help the algorithm)

[@weirdobookclub]

You’re an angel. Olllllle Bill and I thank you!

[@BeaTheFlea3]

third version i’ve watched let’s goooooo lmao (also this video made me read the second and start the third and honestly if i ever want to talk about bad books it is my go to so thank you for your hard work soldier)

[@djunaa]

I will never get tired of your rant reviews! I look forward to these ALWAYS ❤️

[@lauradorke]

This could genuinely be a good horror book. As a romance reader I'm kind of insulted this is called romance, LOL

[@ourxstorybegins]

Oh no, not an excuse to rewatch this review nooooo

[@ghouling1111]

I thought I had gone back in time.. no, just KZbin being Jerks.. time to re watch this 3 times making it 6 times I've heard this.. imma going to count this as a 'read' on good reads 😅

[@martymcflown3707]

This dude's cells have rearranged so many times he's basically that creature from Splice.

[@TheLostWammy]

OLE BILL MY BELOVED YOU WERE THE REAL MVP I HOPE YOURE IN THE NEXT 3 BOOKS MY MAN

[@celina3621]

Yes pleaseee. OLE BILL IS THE BEST.

[@emmacasey646]

When she said that he wanted her to wear his number "permanantly" all I could hear in my head was the sound that says "I. Would. Rather. Die". People scare me😂

[@Jadamay-i5m]

Got so excited thinking it was a new video 😭

[@angieortiz9445]

1:41:16 idk but your face at this part made me laugh sooooo hard😭😭😭

[@rebecca_irvin]

Oooookay. How is it possible that it's taken me this long to find your channel? I am forever changed. I adored every single syllable of this. thank you!

[@Stonedandbookish]

The sabotaging jobs and apartments reminds me of one of the after books. Ew

[@Amelodics]

I literally just recently found this channel just in time for No Place to Hide and this masterpiece of desperately horrendous fiction so bad you cant look away. Perfect timing!

[@soda.pop.acid.]

what have you done!! now i have to listen to this for the foreseeable future whenever i draw!! the travesty 😖 my trillionth rewatch of this rant review and ol’ link is still just as unhinged as i remember him

[@meaflowr]

YEAH BOYYYYSSS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS REUPLOAD

[@KappaBooks]

i will reitterate my comment from the previous upload that im still baffled by the inclusion of hah a comedian man Bo Burnham's song on this "romance" also i truly feel that if your protagonist is pulling on the strings to isolate her from her life to force her to be with him... just rip that hero from the title, thats not an anti hero, thats just a monster

[@direkeshinro]

I really enjoy listening to your reviews, really engaging and funny.

[@weirdobookclub]

I appreciate that! ♥️

[@jaybelandres4360]

i've seen this video a few times now and i cannot get over the fact that it feels like a secret president x president fanfic because their names are lincoln and monroe

[@jaciefagerland7128]

I don’t think I’ve had this visceral of a reaction to any of these dark romance books This one- this one killed me several times over And as a former hockey player I take personal offense to Lincoln in general

[@sms05550]

6:17 THEY BETTER LEAVE "HURT" OUTTA THAT PLAYLIST 😤

[@Crane-gv6jz]

I LOVED THIS REVIEW! I will rewatch so many times for you

[@Blindfold-Me]

Here on the rewatch! ❤

[@silkshines00]

"like a polished stone" ruined me lmao

[@rucealexander2848]

Trigger: winter sports

[@jordanashby8918]

Started watching this yesterday, coming back to finish tonight and can’t remember what the trigger warnings are or what makes this a ~dark romance~ and I’m not going back because I’m ready to be SHOCKED

[@urszulaszaniawska6774]

Hi there, I've just subscribed. I found you while binging Haunting Adeline rant reviews. And your energy and humor captivated me and made me laugh too many times to just go away. I don't read those books but I respect that you take your time to make some enterteinment out of them for others to enjoy😂

[@catherineshoop3061]

i'm beginning to wonder if any of these boneheads who write these books have ever met a hockey player. They are some of the least aggressive men I have ever been around or dated or was friends with. In fact in high school I was mostly exclusively friends with and dated hockey players. Also you never hear of a professional hockey player assaulting a woman. Unike in football and basketball when they do? The NHL punishes them immediately. I know there's one guy who kind of slipped past all of that recently but give me a break. The guys in football books should be like this

[@ToyaJWilliams]

This is legit one of the best things I've ever seen. Crying with laughter. HOWLING lmfao