Why Narcissists Deny Affairs Even When Caught

[@KarenFlynn-k4p]

I have been away from my ex narc for many years now. I spent years wanting and waiting for him to take ownership for his affair. Over time and a lot of counseling did I finally accept that he was never going to take responsibility for his actions. I began to see who he really was an imature, self-centered lier. I decided it was time to work on me so I could heal. I know who he is. It's been a long journey but I have never felt better. Thanks Ben for another great video 👏👏👏🇨🇦

[@anneroseweiler3869]

When a lie hangs in the air like that, it feels like a broken-off story that needs an ending. Your descriptions and explanations are helping me take up the loose threads of these unfinished stories. Now I can take charge, look at them in my own time, finish them, shelve them and grieve. I'm going through this process regarding a couple of people who passed away many months and years ago. Somehow it feels good not to be able to contact them. It feels like I'm in a protected zone, can't get hurt any further and really can make peace with the past. Feels good. Thank you for putting yourself out there like this. It makes an amazing difference. :)

[@Sweetpea-2023]

Don’t let your cheater cheat you out of your life! Get out and go no contact (low contact if you have kids) . You have to give yourself closure. Asking a liar to tell the truth is an exercise in insanity. They will never apologize, tell the truth, come clean, or have true remorse because it shatters their perception of themselves. See them and fully believe they are the emotionally unavailable, immature, selfish, entitled, manipulative losers they are and focus your love, healing, attention, energy, and time on you and your future.

[@Skeijeindi]

I am in no contact but he still send emails, then started in google chat, a disaster. He asks me if I am alive or dead 😂😂😂😂 he can't accept that I am able to make no contact for so long (now has been 2 weeks) and so he thinks I might be dead, it makes more sense to him and he really is in distress thinking I am dead 😂

[@DreaminToo]

​@Skeijeindi don't believe that. He knows fully well you are alive. It's a tactic to make you feel bad and contact him. I've been there and done that and it's manipulation to keep you in his loop. Don't fall for it!!! It took me 2 years to get out of the loop and I'll never go back. I became very sick and my whole life fell apart believing his nonsense. Don't let that be you!!! Runnnnnnn!!!

[@BadLuck1993]

they wont admit it and then when u dont want to be with them they will blame you and say something is wrong with u. its crazy how a person can become so damaged that they become shells of humans that house demons. and thats all it is, is some type of damage they endured in their life. like with my mom i told her she had a big nose when i was probably 6 years old and that effecting her so deeply despite me being a 6 year old that she set out to make me suffer any way she could my entire life and any medical emergency i had she never took me to the hospital doesnt matter if i was on the verge of death and i had been a cple of times but thats the only happiness they find is in the despair of others

[@jayhova603]

Thanks Ben. I replace “he” with “she”, and it’s the exactly same thing for me.

[@Jackmcars12]

My spouse I’m separated from was married to a borderline/narc I saw her mirror everybody she dated for 20 some years and the longest I saw a guy last was eight years.

[@smcbride07]

Thank you Ben 💕

[@margaretgreason1785]

I waited 31 years for my ex to work with me even if it was 50%! Yes, closure comes when the victim works on healing!

[@queenofphillyshoagiessubs8456]

I truly understand your point. The person that they are cheating with seems to be the one who gets the truth, knowing that the narc is married or already in a relationship.

[@amandajohnson-williams7718]

Its not always the case, the Narc I ended up in a relationship with spun me loads and loads of lies about his life, because he knew I was not the sort of woman to enter into an affair. I got NO TRUTH from the Narcissists for bloody years, until I worked out by myself that he was a CHEATING LIAR. It hurt me just as much as it probably hurt his longer term partner, I later discovered. We weren't the only ones involved, it turned out he had many long term affairs, he'd LIED to them all. You have to remember these men are Master Manipulators who have NO EMPATHY or CONSCIENCE

[@mikejohnson5157]

The affair has been going on for years, they don't even try to hide it (from me), she's been caught red handed and, holding solid evidence in her hands, looking me in the eye, denies it till the death. Beyond that, she has her family thinking I'm abusive for asking her to just come clean. Of course it's me cheating (not) and everything is my fault. I had to walk away.

[@Damoose39]

When I went no contact with my older brother, I brought up proof of his bs lies about hanging out with me while he went and cheated on his wife. I didn’t tell him what proof I had or from who but he on the spot created this fake ass story to where what I was told must have been a misunderstanding and I need to get my facts straight. It was that moment I realized that family really means nothing to these people and to them we are just sims in their game

[@danovangrinnell4479]

Yeamon done figured her out.Ever so often she kept crawling out of the pit.😭🤣😁

[@seameology]

We've been separated for years, no contact. The nsrc filed for divorce. I had to call him because he messed up my name on the papers. He insisted he was right, blah, blah. After a week of going back and forth, he asked me again why I won't sign them. FINALLY, he makes a phone call and had to tell me that I was right. So he overnights the correct papers to me and I overnight them back to him the same day I received them. The divorce goes through quickly and is final in three weeks. The courts give him thirty days to send the final one to me. He takes over two months and sends them snail mail taking eight days. Why did he do that? I asked him why did he need a quick divorce, are you hot to get married? He wouldn't answer. Not that it mattered any more. He just couldn't be honest with me. At all. Right until the very end. Stonewalling and gaslighting.

[@NarcissistHex-nf9eq]

I'm sorry you went through that, unfortunately it's a typical narcissist pattern of toxic behavior and looking for any- way possible to hurt you somehow that's all that's all it is. Please stay no contact ,please be safe and I want you to expect a hoover soon, they will try to come back to you, they usually do ..I would say at least over half the times I've seen it, they try to come back and hoover and then repeat the cycle because it's a never-ending need for supply and they have to keep torturing you! I'm so glad you're out- just stay no contact if possible, please, narcissists rarely if ever change and as a self-aware diagnosed narcissist I think that's the best advice you can get on here ,well besides what Ben gives you here , Im gonna cover this on my channel too.. Well, good luck and God bless!

[@Gotoworkkk]

It sounds like you’re still stuck on him. I’m sorry.

[@msc8245]

Great video

[@whynot4]

My ex left me for a woman he had as a side piece for years her friend was the one to tell me. He left one time to go to her house and then came back home and then again left me and the kids the following week. Told me it had nothing to do with her and it’s because we argue. I’m like we argue over your cheating. Then I find out he and her are dating two days later and he still won’t admit he left for another woman when in private he has to me before but anytime I bring it up he gets angry and says it’s my fault and it’s because we fight lol I’m like wtf where can I put this affair into the reasons?

[@BasedLeifEriksson]

See…I am tired of hearing how we give ourselves closure. I don’t buy that. I want the whole truth and nothing but the truth. In addition, I want validation that the other person is a piece of crap. Without those, closure isn’t possible. It’s one thing to say you can live without the closure, but another to claim that lack of closure is actually closure.

[@Skeijeindi]

I am in no contact but he still send emails, then started in google chat, a disaster. He asks me if I am alive or dead 😂😂😂😂 he can't accept that I am able to make no contact for so long (now has been 2 weeks) and so he thinks I might be dead, it makes more sense to him and he really is in distress thinking I am dead 😂

[@anitaaustralia]

😂

[@DreaminToo]

Two weeks??? They can keep on for years doing exactly what you describe is happening. Don't believe he is sad or torn apart. Its all a lie!!! He's angry that he has lost control of you. I've been through this too many times for over 2 years. I'm just recovering from illnesses caused by this manipulator. You have only just begun this fight. Stay strong and don't give in or believe a word he says. It's all about controlling you NOT loving you. The emails will continue, the lies will continue. Going NO CONTACT is the only answer, not only to rid yourself of his presence but most importantly for your own sanity. No contact means getting rid of love letters, photos, gifts, furniture anything that connects you to him. Each time you see these things, it destroys the emotional, physical, mental and spiritual you. Believe this from a woman whose been through it all. Best wishes to you!!!

[@NarcissistHex-nf9eq]

@@DreaminToo It will not stop! it could go on for many, many years believe me.. I've personally never done it, but I've heard of the stalking continuing for many many years, I've heard over 20-30 years and they just won't quit ,because as you say, they're really angry about losing control of you! That's all it is! And they want revenge! So if they have to be nice to you for 5 years and get back with you afterwards they will torture you again, you are correct! I love, love your comment and I think you're going to save a lot of people some time and headache because they will absolutely drag this out for many many years, it's sad but it's true and it's disgusting and it's sick, I think even demonic. I'm actually going to cover that stalking aspect on my channel, Well take care everyone ,stay safe!

[@drea21484]

Std's while pregnant

[@danovangrinnell4479]

Fool me trice shame n disgrace for u 😁

[@carolmaplesden916]

Why doesn't the person that they had the affair with admit it

[@Jackmcars12]

They’re both trash if they knew

[@jenniferevans7674]

What was your "moment" your💡? to change, out loud your perception of self

[@marilynmonheaux]

The narcissist tried but I was like “nah I know what I saw.” Closure for me was understanding narcissistic abuse.

[@AnI-if8fp]

@lindseyjacobellis might want to listen, coz one day you too may need to hear