read in march & april tbr

tysm for stickin around
books mentioned:
a horse at night: on writing by amina cain
on palestine by noam chomsky and ilan pappe
in the cafe of lost youth by patrick modiano
a burst of light by audre lorde
the passion according to gh by clarice lispector
the great believers by rebecca makkai
checkout 19 by claire-louise bennett
ig: / kailienatsu
substack: substack.com/@...
goodreads / storygraph: kailienm

[@bibliosophie]

sorry you’ve really been going through it, and thanks for talking about a slice of the difficult parts of yr life. as someone who’s basically always cycling in and out of depressive/dysphoric episodes myself, i never assume that someone’s robotically hunky dory even if their online life seems nice, but it’s still a privilege to be let in on the bad and the ugly as well as the good

[@bibliosophie]

now, re books: i think you’ll like checkout 19 - i was a little mid on it, but understand its appeal. i liked pond more. and i am absolutely not surprised that you loved passion according to g.h. 😋 recs (forgive me if you’ve already read any of these): Is Mother Dead, Vigdis Hjorth The Door, Magda Szabó White on White, Ayşegül Savaş The Promise, Silvina Ocampo and nonfiction: Limbo, Dan Fox Eros the Bittersweet, Anne Carson Ugly Feelings, Sianne Ngai (more academic but so good)

[@bonsai-leaf]

@@bibliosophieThe Magda Szabo book is sooooooo good, i second that recommendation

[@kailienatsu]

@@bibliosophiethanks for the message and for the reccos❣️ will definitely keep these in my back pocket when i’m not sure what i want to pick up

[@taylornpickle]

thank you so much for sharing about your PMDD. i am struggling as well and wish more people were talking about their experiences with it. it was nice to hear about it in a video i happened to click for books. thank you.

[@WestTexasGothic]

It gets very dark for me every month as well. Recovery is taking longer so I feel like I have more bad days than good. Hopfully that changes soon. good luck to us

[@readwithjulie23]

thank you for your vulnerability

[@literarymalfunction]

it’s so good to see you actively learning about the history and context of the Palestinian plight 🫶🏼 🍉 immediately subscribed. I also hope you’re doing okay, I’m sending you so much love. We are at a similar point in our lives with what’s going on around us and to us, and I wish you find ease and comfort ❤️

[@courtenaywrites]

Patrick Modiano is such an underrated author. His books Missing Person and Little Jewel are my favourites.

[@tirarosaurioreads]

I have endometriosis and adenomiosis and it goes hand in hand with your condition quite often. I hope your diagnosis helped you get more clarity on the reason for feeling that way, tho. I understand the feeling dear. I am sending you a big hug from Spain.

[@itseIv]

I hope things get easier for you, I am so glad you are feeling better now.☺

[@beth-beef]

oh i just loved the great believers. it was one of my favorite books last year, if not number one. i'm getting my master's degree in public health right now and HIV prevention is one of my major interests in terms of future work. i also read the book while taking a sociology course on HIV and reading it right after examining the history of HIV in the U.S. and the ACT UP movement made it all the more special. i also just connected with Fiona and Yale so much. it was a tear jerker for me, i hope you enjoy it!

[@nathansnook]

thank you for being so vulnerable about your ongoings. i'm so sorry there is this stretch of pain for you at the moment. i hope the change in seasons allows for more nourishing and nurturing for you

[@kailienatsu]

thank you so very much❤ as for my next lispector.. i was thinking either breath of life or the chandelier.. not sure yet tho

[@bibliosophie]

@@kailienatsu breath of liiifffeeee 🙊

[@kailienatsu]

@@bibliosophie 🫡🫡🫡 on it

[@ssongpyeon]

[@kailienatsu]

thank you ❤

[@merramarie]

The passion according to GH sounds like that early short story from Virginia Woolf "The mark on the wall" which I read just yesterday ❤ I'm having a fan moment again with VW and potentially loving Lispector's fiction (I've only read her chronicles which are masterpiece).

[@casskrug]

so sorry to hear that the past month has been rough for you!! hope things get better from here on out. i just picked up the passion according to gh and hearing that it’s now your fav of hers makes me so excited to get further into it!! really hoping to get to some audre lorde in the next few months as well 🫶🏻

[@kailienatsu]

appreciate the comment ❤ i’m confident you’ll gh, and audre lorde when the time comes!

[@teresatuna]

I hope you are feeling better 🫶🏻 love your content!

[@literaryleila]

I am sorry to hear that you have been going through a rough time, thank you for sharing 🫶 I have PCOS and PDD as well, hearing others talk about it always makes me feel more seen. I have been trying to inform myself about Palestine and have been reading Edward Said's essays, I will definitely be checking out "On Palestine" too. I totally get what you're saying re Clarice and experiencing life through your interior. I think it is a gift to have such a vivid interior life though sometimes it can feel like a burden. Sending lots of good vibes and comfort, hoping that spring brings only good things for you and your family 🌞

[@kailienatsu]

i’ve found edward said’s work to be extremely helpful as well! i’m glad sharing my experience w pmdd has felt helpful for you, that is the ultimate goal! not feeling alone in something truly goes a looong way

[@sarahmilton7210]

I've only just found you're channel, but I love Clarice Lispector! Near to the Wild Heart might be my favorite, but that could be because it was the first one I read by her. I feel like you might also like Anne Carson, not sure if you've read any of her books but it might be up your alley.

[@kailienatsu]

yes anne carson is on my list!!

[@thelefthandedreader6632]

I’m so sorry to hear about the sadness and family situation you’re experiencing. It’s good to have a diagnosis for your condition, isn’t it? I know how that can be. Sudden family situations are really tough. I’m so glad you came on here and felt co for table in this community to share. The books: wow. You read such a varied group of books! I do want to get to TheBelievers. I just started knitting for the first time! Making a scarf.

[@kailienatsu]

thank you for the thoughtful comment❤ knowledge/diagnosis is certainly helpful with things like these. re: knitting, best of luck!! it’s such a fun and practical hobby and i’m sure your scarf with turn out fabulously

[@sophieelsa7469]

Really great video! I'm a new watcher of you, and I really like what I'm seeing so far. I really like your taste in books- It fits in with a lot of what I'm reading! :)

[@aleksismil]

PMS difficulties are the worst. I have very short cycles and I experience a lot of physical changes like PMS fever and it really sucks big time. Sending you love and support. I have heard plenty of good things about a book "Watching women and girls" by Danielle Pender . Maybe that would be something you might like to pick up.

[@CJReads]

Loving your channel!!!!

[@kailienatsu]

Omg love yours too❤❤

[@Amy-tg7tu]

Girl omfg I just found your channel and you mention pmdd I used to have episodes that were soooo baddd like extreme rage and sadness to the point of homicidal/suicidal ideation and physically I was in so much pain but kinda numb too and I couldn’t think about anything I just felt crazy and I didn’t even notice it was a pattern at first until my mum pointed out that it always happened the week before my period and so I asked her to listen to me rant when I’m in my episode and then ask me about the stuff I talked about when I’m normal to compare and so we did that and I was like telling her how my life was so shit and I sounded so convincing I asked her like am I making sense rn? Does this sound correct to you? And she was actually like yeah I get it it’s all horrible and your reactions are warranted but then when my period started I was all happy again and we talked about and I told her like all the stuff I mentioned before my period was literally me being dramatic I can deal with it rn I’m actually happy and stable 💀💀 but in the moment it all feels so real and overwhelming.. Anyway after researching about pmdd and not finding fucking anything on how to fix it it was just forums where women would console each other (which is fair enough ofc but I wanted faccctsss and how to fix it) and some random harvard study and the rest would just be articles that basically go like oopsie yeah it sucks but just deal with it because not enough research has been done and we’re all underfunded and go fuck yourself. That pissed me off so much but I actually found a way to fix it and it worked so well for me that I look back now and think why tf did I have to suffer so much lmk if you need me to into more detail because I already yapped too much and don’t wanna sound preachy 😭😭

[@itseIv]

‘In the Cafe of Lost Youth‘ seems interesting! Is it dark/melancholic? Would rather skip it if so🙉

[@kailienatsu]

i would say it is a bit dark, definitely not so so dark, but the latter half is a bit

[@piscesmooni]

don’t take this the wrong way but i’m in love with you

[@kailienatsu]

the feeling’s mutual 🫶

[@solenn2788]

Hi, thank you for this video. Personally, I really didn’t like the book On Palestine; I thought it was completely biased and the authors chose to forget to enumerate numerous facts about the history and the on-going conflict.

[@lesbiangoddess290]

What do you mean???