Reading Minecraft Romance Novels

[@Saltydkdan]

*Wow so this vid aged horribly huh?* If it isn’t clear by now, this video was posted a year prior to the recent news, none of us support what Carson did, and we’re only just finding out about it now. I’m debating on what to do with the video, many people have suggested deleting/unlisting it, others have suggested keeping it up for archival purposes. If you’d like, you can download the video just in case I eventually decide to remove it, though for now it will stay up, it doesn’t benefit Carson in any way and all of his stuff was removed from the title and description. This video was always supposed to be bigger than Carson anyway, with all the guest narrators and such. Might change my mind on keeping it up later. Thanks everyone for the support, this fucking sucks.

[@joetendo55]

SALTY :(

[@connorhughes8291]

I think you should either unlist it (but keep it in a playlist so if people really want to find it, they can) or delete it. its up to you

[@joetendo55]

Please don't delete it. At least unlist the video and put it in a playlist on your second channel.

[@SadikiStGeorgeangemon44]

I think you should keep it up and unlist it, despite he who should not be named being in this video, this is one of the funiset videos of yours that I've seen

[@SquishMTR]

Maybe delete it but reupload it with Carson replaced with a text to speech voice and replace the words "Carson" with "Obama" (or another name of your chosing). Whenever his character or camera's on, replace it with a png of the person or character This isn't a joke this is a genuine idea that could work

[@taloncarpenter597]

Pastey: what chips are you eating Carson: potato Carson: *shows us his corn chips later on*

[@taloncarpenter597]

@@KateYagi knowing Carson this is probably true

[@estellaruiz3125]

Those are corn chips? Thought it was tortilla chips not cor- well maybe it could since corn tortillas

[@ianlinn596]

They looked like the target brand tortilla chips. Pretty modest dude.

[@goblingoblin7694]

Ian Linn bro target brand tortilla chips are amazing

[@mizta6819]

@@KateYagi they are probably mixed

[@sunpk785]

"Was that a Mario reference?" -Carson the mario fan

[@_-Lx-_]

Holy shit! Was that a motherfucking *SUPER MARIO* reference!!!?

[@d9zirable]

@Cheraghearzu Sanche -Omg its mario photos- Dammit his link to mario photos got deleted

[@fanboyyourguy]

Omg I didn't notice that reference

[@JSEEEEE220]

I want to craft babies with Carson.

[@Ribbons0121R121]

jon, rememberer of breathing bibes

[@pikachuever]

My teacher in zoom: "Explaining stuff about a book" Meanwhile... "What if they had sex in the farlands?"

[@blankslate7491]

Imagine if the book was Romeo and Juliet

[@Ribbons0121R121]

yeah head deep in the farlands, no cave unexplored

[@bricefitzgerald8949]

No stone unturned, no hole unexplored

[@thanatoast]

What if i whipped out my cock in the farlands.... haha jk...unless?

[@stormwind417]

Yeah but what if?

[@florbords]

can we just talk about how at 0:49 Carson said he had potato chips but it is revealed at 2:58 that he is in fact eating tortilla chips which are made of corn. Basically what I'm trying to say here is that Carson is not trustworthy and you should keep an eye on him. fun fact: this comment aged

[@hugs4zhongli]

thank you user Florbords !! very cool !!

[@ipadkid1133]

U good?

[@Ristarite]

Come down today and try some corn, or we will sacrifice your newborn

[@satan4489]

Carson sus

[@m3b02]

He's definitely using wheelchair guy.

[@mintyalpaca]

It makes me uncomfortable when they make Minecraft Steve say “ass”

[@samcolvett6752]

It makes me uncomfortable when they make Minecraft Steve Speak

[@monoe1294]

@@samcolvett6752 bruh

[@cdwell3810]

ass

[@yolandamccrary1074]

ᴬˢˢ

[@BerriBerriLunchbox]

Minecraft would have censored him-

[@kris1110]

I hate how accurate this is "sleep when there is thunder" "Knowledge of nether existing and most of the blocks" "Knowing mobs are called mobs" This proves she actually played Minecraft to the point where she knows the basics and more. This probably wasn't meant to be a serious book but more of like a fan fiction that was made for fun and somehow ended up being put for sale. That's amazing

[@cookieblobber]

It’s scary to think she was probably like building a house and was like, “I should make this story more sexy”

[@mmyr8ado.360]

Writers need to research on what they write to make it more believable

[@Estra_Estra]

THEY DON'T HAVE FINGERS

[@zegendoflolda]

She also called Alex's spruce door an Oak door

[@dylann123451]

The long con.

[@camerabox1]

"he aimed his cursor" SO IN THIS WORLD SET IN THE MINECRAFT UNIVERSE THEY JUST SEE THE CROSS HAIR?

[@GoldenGoblinSupport]

I've seen nothing in the Minecraft lore to state they do not see the cursor so this might be canon.

[@BunchONanners]

@C01d R4m3n I can confirm, as someone who has played all 13 episodes, no the cursor is not cannon, making this either non-cannon. OR, this is a Minecraft server where this cringey-ass interaction is happening in the actual chat of a Minecraft server

[@ammagon4519]

@Random Buttons hey at least you know where to "aim"

[@Ribbons0121R121]

yo they got f1 on

[@nightmonkey9748]

CameraBox well they had to make it accurate to real minecraft

[@simonescarletsknuckleheadm1623]

I am the reprobate responsible for this book and I just want to say that I love you guys for making this and you're all freaking hysterical. I kept wondering why I was getting sales for this obscure book I wrote YEARS ago, and then somebody left me a review and said there was a hysterical KZbin review of it, and... Well... This truly is one occasion in which the review is better than the book. Thanks for skewering me - I deserve it - and keep up the amazing work.

[@disgusted7187]

Bro what? Why was this buried?

[@necroniic1909]

the writing was good ngl

[@andromeda_va39]

You legend

[@synthetic_creature]

what was going through your head when you made this?

[@lordfelidae4505]

Question: Why did you write it in the first place?

[@hahabearseathoney]

The 14 year olds on wattpad should take a page outta scarlet’s book and stick an African Proverb after every sans x reader lemon oneshot they write

[@chocobear4078]

Jesus, no. Don't.

[@ultimateninjaboi]

@C01d R4m3n i for one welcome our new dark overlords

[@beatsbylayne1768]

@C01d R4m3n - cough cough - archive of our own

[@BloomBlanche]

"I love you, Sansy~" you whisper under the blankets, falling asleep. "I love you too, Y/N~" replies Sans, his fingers gently going through your [your hair colour] hair. *"No matter how beautiful and well crafted a coffin might look, it will not make anyone wish for death."* *-African proverb*

[@beatsbylayne1768]

@@BloomBlanche I wanna fuckin die.

[@spkd_np]

So we have: -eggman -n u m b e r f i f t e e n And down the rabbit hole guy in one video I-

[@lookatme5939]

David bowie with a hand fetish I found you

[@toby4514]

I'm still trying to figure out why chills is in this.

[@dragonfiregames5343]

Everytime I hear the real chills in something that isn't a list video I just start hyperventilating

[@zephyrorsomethinh1528]

Not enough hands

[@DeeDolp]

This is the greatest crossover

[@DanasGoneCrazy]

I'm so glad Steve's "throbbing length" that was "hard as bedrock" was mentioned. I needed that

[@woobwoob8091]

We all needed that

[@lovepuppy4627]

@becky is kinda cool I hate that I could relate

[@caseyw1288]

tfw bae mines ur ding donger with a pickaxe bc u weren't hard as bedrock 😔

[@Herlinawatimova2023]

I've read so many lemons to know what a "length" is

[@halo_3_odst]

i physically gagged and nearly choked on my gum

[@archerinspace]

Despite how weird this is, I gotta respect that Simone is open to being emailed or messaged critiques of how to improve her writing

[@GG_galaxyguts]

Chapter 1: Narrated by Chills Me: pardon...? Chills: Steve realised- Me: _chokes and dies_

[@MutatedPercent]

GG The ultimate cross over

[@theluiginoidperson1097]

Even I was 'chilled' by this... *do it, pull the trigger now, im still waiti-*

[@Loremixer]

done

[@queen_of_the_moles]

@Kyle Chen Burger King foot lettuce

[@stairworse]

@@queen_of_the_moles The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus

[@stormjet814]

Everyone’s laughing until grandma buys this book for her grandkids thinking it’s just about Minecraft.

[@Andyatl2002]

StormJet, some grandma won’t buy it because it says block of lust.

[@LL-tr5et]

@@Andyatl2002 what if she's blind and cant see the title

[@LL-tr5et]

@Standito ahem ahem twas the night before christmas and all through the house only one creature stirred and it wasn't a mouse this rare-seen strange creature so hard to evoke the name of this creature? why yes, it's a *joke* r/woooosh brother

[@lidijaaleksoska5559]

@@LL-tr5et I hate r/woooosh, but damn that's a nice poem

[@LL-tr5et]

@@lidijaaleksoska5559 thank you, i made it up a while ago and have been using it on unsuspecting people ever since :)

[@hermanmunster4607]

I was not prepared for Alfred's voice. Damn, everyone did brilliantly.

[@thetrashlord7867]

IM PIS-

[@drdespair3651]

This is the biggest crossover ever XD

[@waddalup6436]

I’VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. SHAD-

[@thetrashlord7867]

Waluigi HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING W-

[@society5767]

Alfred is the best

[@jonathanreyes824]

Chapter 1: Narrated by: Chills Me: No way. Chills: *actually starts reading* Me: *N O W A Y* Chapter 3: Narrated by: Fredrik Knudsen Me: *S T O P* Update: I've reached the end of the vid and I loved it from beginning to end, my only question is how much did you have to pay Chills, Fredrik and Alfred to do this? Also for Fredrik, DTRH: Minecraft Smut wen?

[@TheColourOfFear]

I never thought I'd hear Fredrik Knudsen say "Well, it's a nice ass."

[@xylodude]

when I saw Alfred I was just: “ALFRED NO”

[@memelurd7341]

Which Alfred

[@ryanscott4038]

Carson in his own vid: lawful good Carson in other’s vids: neutral evil Edit: uhhh, I may have to change some things...

[@krimsonkarma8412]

Nah dude, Carson is normally Chaotic Good. He gives off crackhead energy but in a good way

[@321gofast7]

Chaotic neutral

[@pokaay3163]

Carson is all the categories

[@supermachine2275]

carson in his own vid: boring and unfunny carson in other's vids: mildly humorous

[@LemonTally]

but he killed pokimane's dog though

[@chigchum9602]

I love how alfred kept his cool during the entire "Pissing on the moon" rant, and yet here he can barley go 5 minutes reading this without breaking into laughter.

[@ene7065]

I love Alfred so fucking much because of that He's hilarious

[@amazingamer360]

If Alfred had it as his own plan all along, he can do it without breaking. If it's unexpected he can't do it consistently

[@chigchum9602]

@Dhruti Karandikar It's Dick Dastardly wearing the mask.

[@theluiginoidperson1097]

Violets are red, roses are blue, *your profile picture makes me feel doom*

[@SPG69]

Chig Chum wait what? Thats Alfred

[@namecomingsoon9517]

“It’s like when someone turns to a life of crime but this is way worse” -Carson

[@swansonjoe7121]

He sounded like the Joker in 16:35

[@YoungIroh]

Gerber: *dies in infinity war*

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

when i heard alfreds voice i GASPED. has he finally stopped pissing on the moon

[@Bonemarreow]

He’ll never stop

[@gayahhbihh]

Wait where? Nvm i found it.

[@yeetusyeetus9284]

There's no moon left to piss on, it broke in half from the force of it remember?

[@ryancatgames4279]

He'll keep on pissing on the moon until Sonic Colors Remastered.

[@ryancatgames4279]

@Daniel Torres I'm not sure now. But I'll say probably. Depends, when was it officially announced? Like, when was the announcement trailer shown?

[@gregoriogalindo2512]

When Carson was talking about the Far Lands, I started feeling nostalgic.

[@Chewymaster122]

You had s*x in the Far Lands!?

[@gregoriogalindo2512]

@@Chewymaster122 YEAH The Far Lands are an old part of Minecraft and they were removed, only some old players remember them.

[@thomasbracelin5845]

@@gregoriogalindo2512 wait so what were they tho

[@gregoriogalindo2512]

@@thomasbracelin5845 you're in for a story

[@gregoriogalindo2512]

@@thomasbracelin5845 The Far Lands were areas in Minecraft that were millions of blocks away from the spawn, the area looked very strange and distorted. This was before infinite worlds were made and before they were glitched out. Look at a picture of one.

[@starcourt4834]

“Oh, god Steve... I think I’m going to explode,” Alex moaned. “I didn’t order a Creeper!” Steve exclaimed in return

[@julianrubin1874]

Holy shit an alpharad reference

[@dotFLAA]

alpharad must see this

[@quamaii]

What if Salty and Alpha collab?

[@WorshipperOfKhone]

*creeper peeking over the corner* "Da fuck?

[@thesillyrandom]

hahahaha

[@KillThad]

"What does it mean by 'first breast'?" "Y'know how you read left to right?" Jesus pleasus, that got me.

[@localmenace3043]

YOOOO I never noticed you had Alfred “I’m pissing on the moon” Eggman in the video! Amazing!

[@ballisticboo7808]

You can hear traces of Eggman in his voice

[@punchy207]

shadow pissed on his wife

[@punchy207]

this is how he copes with that rage

[@rubberduckproductions42069]

It makes me wish that clown house just made the entirety of this video instard Edit: I meant instead

[@bojanglesfries]

I love how chills is voicing it.

[@Nixy555]

hes the only one who wanted to do it nothing but respect

[@kylep.8367]

EYERON ORE

[@BallonEEE.]

Top15 hottest minrcraft novels, number 15

[@chriswilson5515]

@@BallonEEE. its TheTop16s, thats the channel

[@sqrungle]

i wish he read the whole thing but one chapter was still amazing

[@wipeout4486]

the most egregious fact throughout this whole experience was when carson claimed to be eating the potato variety of chip, when in fact, revealed in his face cam, it was tortilla chips.

[@milkcrow226]

I was worried I was the only one who noticed that.

[@Kimmie6772]

I started hyperventilating because that footage of him downing that whole bag of tortilla chips unabashedly was so fucking powerful

[@_bass_clarinet_]

We need an audiobook rendition of the full thing on audible as part of a sponsorship

[@scottylightheart7180]

ok since i cant actually see my friends and im desperately searching for social interaction, i must ask: do you actually play the bass clarinet?

[@nonamemclovenakamr.n8100]

Meet too

[@_bass_clarinet_]

Scotty Lightheart yup

[@gargarfinks]

@@_bass_clarinet_ as a regular clarinet player I'm so jelly. I want one so bad.

[@polar-star64]

I would wholeheartedly use Audbile if this was an actual thing

[@ParodyLyfe]

This video is bigger than Carson please don’t delete it, it even has Chills I need chills

[@c0rn701]

There not gonna delete it

[@megamonster3538]

Listen nobody wants to think about stupid crap like that I'm, we just want to enjoy a funny video. So just stop bringing it up

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

tbf carson isnt benefitting financially from this, i think if he was somehow salty probably wouldve archived it

[@thatcringeboi7080]

Imagine if Chills narrated this whole thing

[@mirthless5603]

Switch the 'the' and 'if'

[@realMintyFoxGaming]

I would love that lol

[@deathcheatzero]

I can do a great impersonation of chills

[@burritoboy2691]

I know right

[@ghoulthedamned]

RELEASE THE CHILLS CUT!

[@lordhareraiser3569]

The fact Chills, Carson, and Alfred are in the same video frightens me No video should be able to sustain that much power

[@2017xbattlecats]

wow I was shocked when this featured chills.

[@Koalagii]

literally Zeus, Posiedon, and Hades. they are literal gods

[@Koalagii]

@@2017xbattlecats i thought it was fake at first

[@portie323]

Don’t forget Fredrik

[@APCDraw]

It just needs big lion for it to literally the rip a hole in the internet

[@spritemcfakename8458]

I'm sorry, I just can't hear Fredrik Knudsen's voice without thinking he's talking about some obscure historical incident. Legendary.

[@Pearg0ld]

He's literally one of my favorite KZbinrs, it was amazing. This was a legendary read through

[@jesusramirezromo2037]

Its wiered seeing him talk about such a stupid concept

[@father2mother3]

It was a historical moment. Steve laid the pipe.

[@oofley8346]

He has a naturally professional sounding voice

[@izziehayes4550]

Bold of you to assume this isn’t a obscure historical event

[@thisaccountdoesnotexist7142]

I’m never gonna be able to watch a Down The Rabbit Hole vid again without thinking about the fact that Fredrik narrated part of an erotic Minecraft novel

[@chriswentz5197]

It kinda fits that

[@tylerjones9017]

i couldn't even mentally confirm that was actually chills, even though I'm quite certain it is. People do so many impressions. But as soon as Fredrik said his first word, the reality of the guest readers being in this video hit me

[@Namingway248]

"what kind of chips are you eating?" "potato" *proceeds to eat tortilla chips*

[@austinm.9832]

Or very large potato chips.

[@Potatert0t]

Austin McCune nfdl

[@pocoloco7208]

The fact this isn't age restricted-

[@playboi_vinny]

Ik

[@melonowl333]

Better yet, youtube auto-marks it kid friendly

[@SPG69]

Poco Loco Steve and Alex are brother and sister in my head-canon

[@simba8958]

@@SPG69 well then

[@lucasbread4836]

I know right

[@gab_gabriel7091]

It seriously sounds like Chills could break into laughter at any moment

[@Behon]

Who else had to pause and recover at “It was square”

[@rotary1742]

I can't go on.

[@sludgesketch8697]

This is honestly making me feel like I’m watching the Star Wars Christmas special again I want to stop but I don’t want to stop either

[@nathanrosario4814]

@@sludgesketch8697 there will never be a comment like this. These only come every decade

[@soggyfries3563]

I know I did.

[@kr1sistired161]

yep

[@postalplayingpyromain]

Alfred is trying so hard on his part while simultaneously losing his shit and i'm living for it-

[@thunderlina3237]

So basically: 1. Salty comes back from a hiatus 2. New video is "HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT episode" 3. Topic is especially stupid and funny 4. Guest stars CallMeCarson, Chills, Fredrick Knudsen, and Dr. Eggman 5. Thanos Irwin comeback This is it. This is the best video ever.

[@MozzieMandias]

Where was Thanos Irwin?

[@djddid4796]

Erm where the flip is thanos irwin?

[@magefurst9980]

It’s at the end, yo

[@very_clever_name1636]

Hey Mandy, I’m at the end yo. Why not watch a little longer yo.

[@ECWPlays]

Salty is back! CallMeCarson is here! Oh my god, Salty is making a comeback.

[@koolguy5483]

I would legit listen to an audiobook narrated by pastey, he has a great voice

[@ABC-is9zp]

Same

[@KlutzyNinjaKitty]

All I’ve been watching in quarantine are Down the Rabbit Hole videos, Real Time Fandubs, and Salty’s videos. To have these three just come together to read Minecraft smut is probably the best thing to have happened to me for months now.

[@ballfan55]

God same

[@yes5937]

Klutzy Ninja Kitty Dont forget half life VR

[@ThePlatinumsquirrel]

Unironically I wish they made Fred read the sex stuff

[@JDubs1464]

'I've come to make an announcement-"

[@finnkatz]

SAME

[@bradenking6648]

Alfred sounds like when he voices Alex, he’s bordering on marge

[@bramble6367]

And bordering Kratos in god of war 4 with Steve.

[@nahrtbootycheeks]

@@bramble6367 Kratos x Marge fanfiction

[@Calvin_Coolage]

@@nahrtbootycheeks Marge, bring the BOY!

[@Calvin_Coolage]

@XAVIER RIVERA It's a reference to the Simpsons voices a streamer I watch does.

[@mattgroening8872]

And a bit like the nerd emoji

[@frickinfrick8488]

I love that you credit the smut and link to their amazon page. I love respectful cringe, this shit’s hilarious but we won’t be mean to the authors because they brought us this joy.

[@bellaeclipse8172]

Now this, i like. Giving us laugh and not humiliating or harassing the person the content was based off of. This isn't even really cringe as it's not mocking a group or anything, just laughing at a dumb minecraft fanfiction novel.

[@RaphielShiraha64]

not like you can find it online anyway **i tried**

[@LainVics]

Oh for fucks sake

[@strawberrycubes4774]

Why?!?!?!??! How do we find it?!?@?@? I need to buy this for my mom.

[@EvelynSpeedwagon]

I like to imagine that a mom, who wrote smut in her spare time, was watching her kids play Minecraft, and thought “I could work with this”

[@Cheese-Slime-Sheriff]

“Hmm… but what if it was *hot?”*

[@bubbletea1985]

this is just a long-winded version of saying she hit shift until the sticky keys prompt popped up

[@ammagon4519]

Imagine having a sticky keys prompt in real life

[@johtojunkie7190]

Hearing Chills say Iron Ore keeps me up at night.

[@Axew325Ryan]

ieron ore

[@Lophii28]

eyeron ore

[@sillygooseygirl]

“Simone Scarlet” sounds like a Miraculous Ladybug Villain.

[@ToaVentron]

Or some background rwby character

[@DBurnzy]

Toa Ventron bruh I was about to say that lmaooo

[@Callistosdotcom]

shit u right

[@simplesack_]

fuck

[@kittykat5090]

I HATE HOW RIGHT THIS IS

[@BiggestMeowser]

I love how intimidating it is when Carson calls people by their real name like how he calls ninja the blev

[@nataliehaag3595]

I STARTED SCREAMING WHEN CHILLS STARTED NARRATING OH MY GODFAZDEGHD

[@Desechannsl]

Isn’t that just Salty doing an impression

[@guppybunz]

Xtream hunter nope

[@trashman2768]

@@Desechannsl It's not. Check the description. The fact that it's ACTUALLY Chills makes it so much better. 😂

[@Desechannsl]

trash man holy shat

[@skinwalker4934]

I as well

[@nanigov4725]

1 minute in and I can already see how much editing work went into this, your weren't lying in your tweets huh

[@jackpacito]

12:08

[@J_productionss]

Chapter 1: That muffin looks awfully like a hamster. Someone baked a hamster into this muffin

[@nohi3619]

What Gospel do you herald?

[@samwidge8082]

Oooooook then

[@eshanidas303]

Chapter 2: That hamster tasted awfully like a muffin. Someone baked a muffin into this hamster

[@Beautifulconnyxime]

Chapter 3:This muffin looks awfully like a muffin,someone baked a muffin into this muffin

[@Noodle11]

other youtubers when they're featured on another channel: try to be funny, promote own channel, try to make connections to youtubers featuring them carson: c h i p

[@pokaay3163]

Who says c h i p isn’t doing all those things

[@skitkat123]

other youtubers: "hey glad to be here guys thanks for inviting me anyways to everyone watching subscribe to my channel" carson: *"R E A D I T S E X I E R"*

[@beejeebees493]

can we all acknowledge the fact that he got Chills to narrate for some of this? that got me by suprise, all the wait sure has proven to be worth it

[@itzToastyGhost]

Beejeebees yeah, I was surprised too and it was cool

[@bananajewell8846]

Fredrik was the most surprising part of this

[@mysterywheat1440]

The disturbing few minutes of a sex scene with minecraft references will haunt me in my sleep. Update: it's been about 2 days, every time my mind goes quiet the awful memories of this scene play on repeat in my mind, its inescapable, i'm slowly going insane.

[@TheRealRustyIsHere]

Are you gonna go Dark Super Sonic again?

[@3.2187_Kilometres]

Your profile pic is perhaps the most cursed thing I've seen in a while.

[@TheRealRustyIsHere]

@@3.2187_Kilometres Hello, I`m Sans Spinel but *they* call me "Mr. cursed profile picture"

[@3.2187_Kilometres]

@@TheRealRustyIsHere I was mainly talking about the guy who made the original comment but your profile pic is also pretty cursed.

[@TheRealRustyIsHere]

@@3.2187_Kilometres I know xd

[@sodapop8900]

I didn't think this is what they meant when Steve got into smash

[@andromeda_va39]

Oh my gosh

[@laurenlizzbeth]

Me: innocently listening to this for the first time Chills: Steve realized he'd screwed up the moment he emerged from the mine-shaft. Demons in my head: NUMBER FIFTEEN, BURGER KING FOOT LETTUCE

[@laurenlizzbeth]

earned a sub my guy, can't wait for more content from this channel!

[@leejordan6965]

LMAO 💀💀💀

[@ryancarrell3186]

"you know what they call me?" "what do they call you Carson?" should have said "well, they CallMeCarson," but whatever.

[@Paralytixc]

Ryan Carrell they call me call me Carson

[@UnicornSlushy91]

That moment had schlatt energy though

[@ace-smith]

just "yes"

[@Ribbons0121R121]

pre gamer

[@SpaceCookie150]

That would be quite funny, i think

[@CosmicKat16]

Based on this person's clearly extensive knowledge of Minecraft, I'm not entirely convinced it isn't just Notch with a pseudonym.

[@aimsbok1693]

Who knew Carson would do a Minecraft fanfic in real life

[@caesthoffe]

with a 17 year old fan

[@northwestcottt]

bruh

[@AshyMuted]

@@IrisXen Still a groomer, he abused his fame to get with an underage fan

[@goldsorich827]

Yeah it’s sad

[@Dommbuscus]

@@AshyMuted A famous person flirting with someone else is NOT power dynamic. That would only apply if they legit are like "Yeah, I'm a big deal, so love me"

[@josiahtheawkward6008]

10:50 Alex, raising her iron sword: *YOU CAME TO THE WRONG HOUSE FOO*

[@SCP-yq5fw]

Josiah GamerArtist AY YO ALEX ITS ME STEVE CHILL CHILL

[@pamimaniac]

I laughed a laugh of disbelief as I realized that Chills was in fact reading Minecraft erotica

[@magpiem0th]

Wait is that actually chills I thought they just had a really good chills impression

[@yiik710]

@@magpiem0th yeah it was lol

[@rebelfriendafter4437]

Rohan when is the next ova

[@blankslate7491]

I hate your pfp so much

[@pingu4938]

r/brandnewsentence

[@diggory4ii385]

When Carson reads you can *tell* He is trying to impersonate Chills while reading Steve and Alex's lines.

[@pakprotocol]

haha sollux profile pic heehoo

[@xavierfaust9417]

Homestuck moment

[@DeltaWave_]

You can’t fight it

[@graaaaaaaaaaaaaaace]

haha homestuck

[@xavierfaust9417]

@@graaaaaaaaaaaaaaace AAAAAAA hahahaha homestuck

[@Slash766]

6:25 “it’s hero brine” Me: now that’s a name I haven’t heard in awhile

[@RAPIDFIRE896]

You sure yall didn’t read a minecraft joke book? “Someone must of spilt a water bucket down there”

[@ramen4138]

*KABOOM*

[@madeinmicrosoftpaint]

@@ramen4138 sad thing is you made me unironically chuckle

[@linkmariokirby7373]

He was destroyed

[@RAPIDFIRE896]

Ramendoo Weeaboo “Goes the Creeper”

[@billbill6094]

Carson says the type of chip he's eating is potato, yet when he shows the bag on camera it's clearly tortilla. I demand an explanation.

[@caprisunbongwater]

He grabbed tortilla chips before showing the camera what chips he had if you listen closely when he first said it the chips sounded crispier and then they sounded crunchier when the camera showed Carson eating

[@pinkpusheenpaws]

There’s 69 likes now. Nice

[@jasmine-yh1mo]

@@caprisunbongwater oh so you the chip police, my guy??

[@bigshoelmfao]

its *simp*ly that the earth is flat

[@caprisunbongwater]

Jasmine Patil yes I have been through excessive training to tell what type the chip is just from hearing the crunch

[@twodogsandadingo3331]

This is the best cross over ever. When I saw Chills name I started wheezing. When Alex showed up, I legit had to take a moment to make sure it was THE Alfred. Also the Mgs reference was amazing. Best video of 2020 so far.

[@WorshipperOfKhone]

When I saw alex I thought "Damn... Dat ass"

[@myra1222]

BOT the bot *damn bro you need jesus*

[@tastypotato9272]

The fact Alfred has basically became an internet celebrity is amazing

[@Quackervoltz]

He deserves it

[@cactuswithglasses8006]

I've heard so many people do Chills impressions that at this point that I didn't even realize that it wasn't a bit and it was actually Chills. It took until Fredrik's section for me to realize you guys went the full five yards for this audiobook masterpiece.

[@elizabethgrace3332]

CactusWithGlasses I was about to ask if they actually got Chills or not! Because I remember one of the guys does an amazingly great impression but I was thinking it was TOO good.

[@somebodythatnobodylikes]

3:17 Chapter 1 (Chills) 5:04 Chapter 2 (Pastey) 9:29 Chapter 3 (Fredrick Knudsen) 12:20 Chapter 4 (Carson) 15:25 Chapter 5 (Alfred) 18:18 Chapter Sex (Haha Man + Carson) 23:42 Chapter 7 (Sith Lord?)

[@bestuan]

Chapter sex

[@shaggy2dicks453]

thank you😳

[@padparade]

you had me at chapter sex

[@scrub1732]

I bet many people clicked 18:18

[@MacNava]

Me: *Sees Chills, Alfred AND Callmecarson in one video...* Oh boy...

[@burcebanning]

A truly historic collaboration

[@eyeseedee]

16:55 "I'm sure you don't have a spare set of clothes upstairs, do you?" *"NO."*

[@guldanielle]

I'm still not over the fact that Fredrick Knudsen was a guest narrator for this. That's just amazing, and further proof that I could listen to anything if it was read in his voice

[@Pearg0ld]

Thank you, it was amazing

[@El_Omar2203]

His voice is so intriguing and soothing, he reading this dumb Minecraft shit was just as smooth as his normal videos.

[@SaintSentry]

I like how Carson's name is in the title when Alfred is clearly the true highlight of the video.

[@ammagon4519]

Chills imo is the cherry on top.

[@ene7065]

Everyone was in god mode in this video

[@SaintSentry]

Well now I feel less guilty about not liking Carson's appearance in this video

[@cryoflip5841]

I heard Alfred and had a breakdown because all I can hear whenever he starts talking is “IVE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT”

[@theghattlings8995]

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS A

[@anueutsuho7425]

"The caucasity of this bitch..."

[@lovemagicfantastic]

“HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE”

[@nondescriptindividual3793]

I can't believe Alfred was present in this video, that poor, poor man

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

Girl: "Guys only want one thing and it's disgusting" What guys really want: 19:04

[@platinum_bucket4151]

ah perry the platypus we meet again

[@mr.unfunny9368]

Just Some Guy without a Mustache I too want Carson no homo

[@thatguythere6161]

If we have learned anything from anime, it’s that hand holding is the sexiest thing you can do

[@REDACTED_REDACTED9]

...

[@REDACTED_REDACTED9]

@@platinum_bucket4151 lmao

[@mdragonace1278]

Salty is back finally after 2 months, and it’s another fan fiction. . . *PERFECT*

[@somebodythatnobodylikes]

Not only that, it’s the Minecraft Erotica

[@329link]

Is it still fanfiction if it's an actual book?

[@mdragonace1278]

329link yep. . .

[@kohtahirano4546]

"I don't get much action." -CallMeCarson.

[@quamaii]

I mean yeah his ex was a giant who-

[@gr8cescale]

>:(

[@jablu9391]

@@quamaii yeap she was

[@quamaii]

@@jablu9391 she still is

[@Ixe2077]

SAME

[@IDontReallyWantAYoutubeHandle]

3:46 "You know what they call me?" "What do they call you, Carson" "Pre-game" 👁👄👁

[@nobo6646]

Hol up hol up

[@haylenyofuhkk]

That did not age well...

[@Skadoodly_Dave]

@@haylenyofuhkk tHiS diD nOt aGe wEll

[@IDontReallyWantAYoutubeHandle]

@Frank Woodward My guy, I liked Carson as much as you do, but Carson confirmed with his friends that they were real, which they then confirmed to everyone else on twitter. Whether or not they're valid accusations, it's just a funny haha about something that happened lmao

[@mariobros2169]

@Frank Woodward Bro you are blaming a girl who got pressured by a youtuber with his platform to do not good stuff, instead of the person who actually did it? After their friends confirmed it? He is funny but that doesn't excuse him from the controversy

[@glumbortango7182]

This is exactly what I feared when I opened KZbin. Edit: Having watched this, it's official. This is the hardest video I've ever watched. No competition. You win. It's perfect in it's omnipotent horror, and I cannot grasp it. I fear if the worst is still yet to come. A true work of malignant art.

[@falconstudios146]

I couldn't have said it better myself. Such wretchedness was never meant for the eyes of living, mortal men.

[@elluminance]

Is it hard as bedrock?

[@curse4384]

Watch elvis the alien Overwatch video and watch the last like 5 minutes, i doubt ull make it

[@glumbortango7182]

@@curse4384 having watched that video, I stand by my position. That was just internet fandom, I've experienced that before. There is little I could say prepared me for this video. It's revulsion holds a depth not previously exposed to me. Thanks for making me watch that video, by the way.

[@curse4384]

Glumbor Tango u are indeed stronger than me, that fan fiction had me peel my eyes and ears off

[@ladyviolu3924]

Carson: *says he's eating potato chips* Also carson: *is eating tortilla chips*

[@pokemaniako21]

THANK YOU

[@ArendAlphaEagle]

*_this was foreshadowing all along_*

[@cole4077]

this man cant be trusted

[@crawpilled]

this comment aged well

[@spiderfrog5764]

Also carson: does a minecraft fanfiction irl

[@HeadyBop]

Ah yes, who could forget such classics such as "Sissy In Heat: His Mistress Wants Him To Satisfy A Big Black Stranger" and "Surprise For Hubby: She Makes Her Husband's Fantasy Come True"

[@glendagarcia137]

Why do i hear Jontron saying this...

[@ohfluffyuwu835]

@@glendagarcia137 *hear

[@glendagarcia137]

@@ohfluffyuwu835 oh shit thx bro XD

[@ohfluffyuwu835]

@@glendagarcia137 no problem bro

[@rhysdog8600]

those sound more like clickbait videos than books

[@rulamantic]

3:48 "What do they call you, Carson?" THEY SAID IT

[@spicesouls]

"What do they Call You Carson?" *CREDITS*

[@jumbojohn890]

Y E S THE PERFECT CROSSOVER

[@shshyie]

Carson, Salty, Chills AND Alfred... Absolute perfection

[@jumbojohn890]

All we need now is Internet Historian

[@ArendAlphaEagle]

Shyie And Fredrik

[@AlmightyElmin]

Man...Telltale Games really went to the steamy route with this recent MC Story Mode DLC pack

[@comic_jack.6020]

ngl I love this book's oddly accuracy to the game than MC: Story Mode. Mojang really has to put Steve and Alex as the protagonists of other games, like wtf, you throw me Jesse and then some warriors I don't know shit about. Give Steve and Alex more recognition than just one game.

[@adambaryliuk3393]

@@comic_jack.6020 I guess Steve and Alex are meant to be blank slates, molded to the player, and a telltale game would ruin that blank slate

[@nolongerswag]

"You're hard as bedrock," this is the peak of human evolution

[@KBReal870]

I love how Chills pronounces iron as "i-ren"

[@SiIverLeaf]

I-ren so far away.

[@emmamurray5170]

take a shot everytime they say something about Alex’s red hair

[@broisyougobbling]

My liver hurts

[@ultimateninjaboi]

Id say make it water to not die, but im worried even that could be lethal

[@TheAxolotl]

As Alex said “Steve, I’m going to explode” a creeper slipped from her ravine and exploded the house and both of them *The End*

[@mr_mist7891]

Thinking about "Number 15", "I'M PISSING ON THE MOON", "Meow, meow. PURR!" And just Carson in his entirety, in one video. Like, Y'all?

[@LunarDude28]

“It’s one of the few times you can actually use a bed in the daytime” the way he read that made me cry laughing

[@crustyhamster]

I like how CallMeCarson is now officially part of the Saltydkdan story line

[@Cheese-Slime-Sheriff]

He got retconned

[@justas423]

The Voice Actors were PAID to read this. Imagine being famous enough that you get paid to read Minecraft Smut.

[@EggplanetNice]

When Carson started voicing the characters lines like Chilled- I felt that.

[@grundierungtaglich6241]

"Narrated by Chills" Me: Oh yeah, it's coming all together.

[@floatzilla2242]

Ever wonder what it would be like to read this in the farlands

[@estellaruiz3125]

Floatzilla 22 with strength 2

[@floatzilla2242]

@@estellaruiz3125 how could I forget

[@gliscorpropagandaaccount1764]

Hot.

[@estellaruiz3125]

Floatzilla 22 idk

[@ashenknight4023]

What if we kissed in the Far Lands with Strength 2?

[@minerpig04]

The real reason Carson got cancelled was because he said he was eating potato chips but was actually eating CORN chips. How revolting!

[@Tulip_bip]

Unforgivable

[@mammadragon8108]

wait what happened with him?

[@Door227]

@@mammadragon8108look at the comment dum dum!

[@mammadragon8108]

@@Door227 sorry for being a dum dum :(

[@Door227]

@@mammadragon8108 it’s ok. I forgive you :)

[@ArendAlphaEagle]

1:21 Rachel's Desire is the odd one out. That book is priced $0.99 when the others are priced $2.99.

[@pormpfspimperton6804]

I guess she didn't like that one