Forcing my friends to help me film a Minecraft Love Story

[@animatepokemonadventures7889]

The line in the novel goes “Alex swung open the oak door to let the stranger in” yet the door type used is clearly spruce.

[@Thepenguinking2]

Disgusting, Salty. I can't believe you have so little care for your video quality. Unsubbed and disliked and blocked. I'm gonna cancel you on twitter and I'm gonna steal all your reddit gold. Fuck you.

[@tracks6984]

Unsubscribeing They lied to all of us

[@skiesquiggles7319]

Gods what the fuck

[@theghattlings8995]

not only that, the minecraft spruce door is UGLY dont @ me

[@royalblanket]

Im gojng to iran

[@gigi2820]

20%, actually recording the thing 80% getting distracted in minecraft magic

[@isoftidemoni9421]

Just what i want in my minecraft video c:

[@taloncarpenter597]

*Gets distracted by Colgate whale milk*

[@wash8533]

It do G. it do.....

[@JustEm22]

I... did not expect to find you here of all places lmao...

[@jenger7]

"What are the work jams for us here?" *1 2 O A T M E A L*

[@vriskaserket1120]

Simpleout to Shoutflips

[@slabofbeef8065]

Outflips to Simpleshout

[@dannie5156]

kirby is a pink guy.

[@disgracedsphinx3494]

Kirby projects his enemies and makes then *LAA* ater

[@floonmeeple2371]

Brush yo' teeth, bitch!

[@lucksummed]

Funny Salt Man and his kidnapped friends play Block Game

[@SYXX-II]

Thanks I would've never knew

[@lucksummed]

@@SYXX-II You're welcome weird fucking yellow creature thing

[@SYXX-II]

@@lucksummed it's Homie from the simpdaugters

[@zidenc8273]

peepoo edsdyufuyfhgfcfgsdgadgajdhagahdgvhjhhfdfaaahahaaagaaaaa yes.

[@liamlennon745]

BENTHEBEASTHENv2 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@puffy-apple2235]

"I don't like our intern very much." Intern Creeper: *Walks away in shame*

[@ilovehollowknightwaytoomuc1768]

*commits blow self up*

[@BloodGuppy]

This video is great! My family is fighting over Bongo.

[@cadio]

that damn bongo

[@do-nothingbear9474]

More than anything, I want to hear the calls that you made to Chills, Alfred, and ESPECIALLY Fredrick Knudsen and what exactly you used to blackmail them into narrating for you.

[@seratope]

I think he did the Chills impression, but Knudsen definitely had a hand in it

[@Wheelz_]

@@seratope chills was credited in the video and description. He didn't do an impression

[@con7885]

Chills agreed amideatly, no blackmail needed

[@velawesomeraptor5317]

Con were... were you trying to spell immediately?

[@astronights]

@@velawesomeraptor5317 I think they were trying to spell admittedly?

[@bucket9144]

I like how Fritz was just there, in the story. No purpose other than to alert Alex when Steve first arrived. His real purpose was to make the film adaptation much more difficult.

[@pormpfspimperton6804]

He also licked steak juice off Steve’s hand.

[@KeganLeavess]

A film adaptation of Blocks of Lust!? Damn, Christmas came early this year

[@sweetumami1338]

No no no It's released in theaters on christmas

[@ToxiKrisis]

and so did I

[@slightlyuncomfortable]

@@ToxiKrisis nice

[@tracks6984]

Salty: getting all emotional about how minecrafts grown wothout him Pastey: *finding nemo, have you seen my son*

[@wumpus976]

KLUMP

[@moistcriticalstan876]

The person playing Alex reciting hip hop songs in a newscaster voice was the funniest and most unique idea I have seen in my entire life, I shit you not.

[@WOOPAHsoup]

Dude doesn’t know mal? #antirogermoment

[@halkess7995]

"Pastey i didn't know ou were a designer for romantic getaways in minecraft" "i'm gay hello ?" i felt that.

[@karpi470]

Oh, my God, 1,2, Oatmeal is an absolute classic. The guy that sings it is German by the way, and the original German version of the song goes "Eins, Zwei, Haferbrei" which actually rhymes.

[@dyzaaster]

“coming up: apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur. everybody in the club, was looking at her. more at 4.”

[@DasaniDragon]

That bit always kills me 😂

[@Desechannsl]

“Just squeeze it in your mouth” -Pasty

[@sameager]

"yummy yummy"

[@bidoof367]

pasty more like paste

[@garrettbates9124]

“I’m gay, hello?”

[@shutuptravis5609]

Getting a female to play the role of Alex is just the touch of realism and detail that I would expect from only the greatest filmmaker of our time, mr. dkdan

[@gayahhbihh]

a *F E M A L E* not a woman, *F E M A L E*

[@AceSpadespoken]

@@gayahhbihh hmm yes the classic species, *_F E M A L E_*

[@Kerubu]

@@gayahhbihh Here I come a year late to dig up a small dead thread, but I felt like justifying the use of the word "female". Woman has sort of lost meaning as it's now a self identification rather than a static identifier. Female still seems to refer to sex, so as clinical and detached as it sounds it seems to be the best way to convey the meaning.

[@skapb]

@@Kerubu U sound like u get no bitches and stack no paper

[@yeetymcneety]

@@skapb No bitches?/ref

[@francisco2974]

The whole "more at 11" sequence has me fucking dying even after watching it 5 times *my sense of humour is so deteriorated*

[@DespiteEverything42]

yes

[@theofficialsonicpodcast]

hey guys sonic here and I just wanted to say bruh

[@jenger7]

Thank you The Official Sonic Podcast run by The Official Sonic The Hedgehog from the Sonic The Hedgehog series

[@crazybobert5243]

The official Sonic Podcast thanks sonic

[@vocaploid]

hi sonic

[@fauxdude9756]

sonic how do you feel about your portrayal in the sonic the hedgehog movie, the only movie ever released theatrically in 2020

[@theofficialsonicpodcast]

I be flossing

[@lieutenantpito6992]

1:11 me grabbing toothpaste to show to my grandkids: “I’m gonna tell them this is whale milk”

[@GhaniKeSawah]

Oh no

[@user-hz5hn7ts1i]

7:55 Oh shit that's the handiwork from Chase Young of Snapcube, voice actor of Mephiles in the Sonic 06 fandub!

[@pixelatedcorpse]

oh shit THE chase young of snapcube, voice actor of mephiles in the sonic 06 fandub?

[@user-hz5hn7ts1i]

@@pixelatedcorpse I know right?? Holy shit it's really Chase Young of Snapcube, voice actor for Mephiles in the Sonic 06 fandub

[@sweetumami1338]

Yall talk like me when I want to talk about chase and the other dub cast to friends but no one knows who they are outside of funny sonic dubs

[@pjthemaster1]

I’ll never get tired of the fact that salty acts the same both in videos and real life, he doesn’t play a character it’s just him

[@dekelyosifon]

"Whale milk has the consistency of toothpaste" *T O O T H P A S T E Y*

[@Taikofan04]

So this is how we got those cursed screenshots

[@xygyaz]

8:11 "In the future humor will be randomly generated"

[@rainydayover4]

Michael:Gaming weed eater

[@ECWPlays]

He looks like a Apex Legends character being chosen.

[@johtojunkie7190]

5:07 whoever that is sounds uncomfortably close to the WatchMojo lady.

[@Thegameshowhost420]

That’s what I though too

[@DrinzenDrawz]

2:27 God bless this into the woods reference

[@tart9692]

Drinzen yes

[@catnepdotbiz]

7:22 "I'M GAY, HELLO?" FAVE

[@marmato9332]

Is that a reference to somn?

[@mx.benzedrine]

Hearing rap lyrics in the newscaster voice has the same energy as Alex Trebek reading rap lyric clues on Jeopardy.

[@quantumblur_3145]

Jeffpardy

[@boredfishdx]

4:45 I'd listen to a whole album where they covered those songs like that. I'd pay for that album.

[@touku3631]

I was brushing my teeth while the whale bit happened

[@touku3631]

@C01d R4m3n a toothbrush

[@breads8764]

I remember dying laughing with the “More at 10 “ bit, but I couldn’t remember why, so I came back, and I died again

[@Gxome]

I was crying when they did the from the window to the wall. True poetry.

[@TehBaconBrawlerZ]

2:32 HE SAID IT. HE SAID THE LINE. INTO THE WOODS. THEATRE KIDS REJOICE

[@flowerpastels-h9v]

1:53 "This is Klump, my fucked up son, I hope he's dead" " I hate Klump , fuck you Klump" LMAO BEST PART! XD

[@AtChiaPet]

This video is genuinely cursed... *I love it*

[@vicentheguzman3349]

I wonder how many people have told you "omg i see you everywhere!!", must be annoying

[@nicholaslubish75]

Chiaki don’t

[@Krutons]

this video is so embedded in my memory some of the sentences have been permanently etched into my vocabulary on the same tier as the sonic fandubs

[@fivestuff6503]

"Naked Steve and Alex have fun."

[@Veecy]

I can't believe I'm not the only one who sees that painting as a fortune cookie!

[@EmmaRulz]

Yoo a minecraft movie is looking good actually!

[@somebodythatnobodylikes]

I need more funny News segment in my frail dying body. Please Salty, I’m hooked up to machines in a room with fortune cookie skeletons. I need more hahas

[@Quackervoltz]

I thought frail was Fnaf at first.

[@quantumblur_3145]

@@Quackervoltz "doctor what's his condition?!" "FNaF." The camera cuts to the first speaker again, for a split second their face turns into Markiplier's, then the scene ends

[@coffeeelk6364]

My KZbin recommendations are going to be absolutely WILD after these past two videos.

[@Dominion69420]

5:10 Ive turned this into a meme at my church were we all just go “boots with the fur” in the most monotone voice and no one understands why we do it but we do

[@ukulelechicken4814]

The weather guy song bit was so good omg had me crying

[@TempoName]

1 2 oatmeal is my anthem. I got excited when you told him to play it

[@Desechannsl]

Petition for salty to do another day in my life next Halloween and pasty dresses up as ninja

[@beccareed5051]

6:02 I always thought it was a skeleton sitting in an orange egg chair, crossing its legs seductively.

[@Grenn102]

*Plays 1, 2, Oatmeal* "What is this, a crossover episode?"

[@kwtp4113]

Wait a second...this isn't TheDiamondMinecart

[@bobbeyferginson4952]

Shoutouts to simpleflips

[@Mczprosvids]

4:29 sounded like a guitar string XD

[@ok_thats_epic__4317]

ok but pasty singing ‘into the woods’ caught me s o off guard

[@solace8355]

I never thought I needed a news-person cover of Get Low

[@phantomniner8883]

You open the fortune cookie and you just hear: "SPIN THE WHEEL!"

[@taloncarpenter597]

0:51 Mhm yes I do like the *dried kelp tree*

[@kaiyote7924]

4:54 mal is my spirit animal im dying along with here. please @saltydkdan if you see this, tell pastey that this news anchorman delivery of "get low" has helped through the the absolute most destitute times of my life so far.

[@nickaninithe]

The fact that whale milk has the same consistency as toothpaste is a fact I hold very dear to my heart

[@pumpkinpiemassacre6799]

Me: **Pulls out stick of gum.** The whole class: 0:02

[@zacharyjohnson9562]

The Kek or Cringe but came after an ad so it felt so real and I’m crying.

[@AlaskaOilers]

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter

[@preKettled]

You’re telling me Pasty didn’t know about 1 2 Oatmeal?

[@personrhs]

“It doesn’t loop” is pure comedy

[@collinarter2470]

3:28 YOU FOOLS! SPREADING THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE SONG WILL ONLY MAKE IT'S POWER GROW!

[@yukkishinzotheangelofmusic8009]

Congratulations, Salty! You've directed your first porno film! What are you gonna do now!? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

[@ZekSkywalker]

Salty: Finding Nemo Pastey: Have you seen my *FUCING* son....

[@j0elyb3an]

MORE PEOPLE NEED TO APPRECIATE THE WARIOWARE DIY MUSICCCCCC

[@megamasteritey7027]

"I'm coming, more at eleven"

[@june2810]

7:55 i feel personally attacked, even though ive never cried to undertale music.

[@regentlouis3678]

3:23 when they mentioned oatmeal I was already finished making oatmeal for myself. Nice.

[@mr.boombox5021]

8:29 Everybody Votes Channel music. You my friends are the Scott the Woz of BGM selection. Seemingly random topics that relate to me perfectly.

[@KAI_MAISTER]

Mom walked in on me while watching this and now I'm grounded, thanks you tuna can

[@calebmatthews4014]

Love how at the start he said the house has to be wood but its cobble

[@Pironesia]

I love absolutely everything in this video. More at eleven.

[@chippudoodles5590]

We need a Hatsune Miku cover of 1, 2, Oatmeal for all the weebs

[@nataliehaag3595]

After a couple of years, I still come back for Pastey’s “Fucked up son” Klump

[@tankdesu7077]

I really want the news to hire Salty’s team of aspiring News broadcasters.

[@rhinophew9894]

Pastey, Mal blink twice if Salty is holding you hostage

[@Champiness]

This is what you find at the top of the list on the 2002 DVD bonus features for “HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT: Minecraft Romance Novels”

[@143Ollie]

I loved the name “Klump” so much when I watched this too the point I found a rock, put googly eyes on it and called it the exact same thing then I posted a picture of it on my snap with the same caption as you “I hate him so much I hope he dies” yadda yadda then my friends said they liked it so I changed my views on klump and now he’s sitting comfily on my desk. So thank you for such a great name for me to steal.

[@LalaKathleen]

this is my favorite youtube video ever i think :) it always makes me feel better

[@itsyaboiguzma]

I can't believe I got to listen to the masterpiece that is 1 2 Oatmeal not in a Simpleflips video for once.

[@meiwks1803]

4:00 - Salty pays his friends in *experience*

[@sandclover]

5:39 that can be taken two VERY different ways and i'm not sure which one I prefer.

[@ArpPlays]

"She, hit the floor"

[@grimace9670]

I wish Carson wasn’t in the main video it was one of my favorites

[@Quackervoltz]

Mentally replace him with someone else

[@RasEli03]

Even though this is short. It's highly edited to perfection

[@TheLavaLamp9]

Jokes aside, that is a really nice house.

[@LordryuRevived]

0:02 When a new Saltydkdan video is uploaded

[@illianide]

I always wanted how they got the shots from the minecraft romance novel video.

[@alexreese614]

10:20 me at my grandmas house

[@codacheetah]

I visited my grandmother last year and the only thing that was playing on the TV was Jerry Springer so I understand that feeling

[@origin484]

Salty references Oatmeal? What a triumph is thaaaaat

[@RalseiGaming]

so sad that the san pedro mountain mummy was found in a fortune cookie

[@dazed284]

This makes me so happy every time I watch it

[@ToastOnSmores]

This video inadvertently caused my first heartbreak

[@crime5907]

I have so many questions-

[@acidraenin]

Simone Scarlet would be so proud

[@NotAGraveRobber]

I appreciate the Into the Woods reference, I'm ignoring the rest on purpose.

[@baconhert4794]

"1, 2, oatmeal? What kind of music is that?? 😡" "I dunno, you tell me. 😏" *continues to Play the absolute throwback banger of a song*

[@katherinehelwig3190]

That picture looks like someone removes their foreskin and literally had a little skeleton in it

[@wumpus976]

Here’s the original version that Kristofer Zetterstrand painted. uploads7.wikiart.org/00263/images/kristoffer-zetterstrand/4.jpg!Large.jpg

[@Jensenrobinb]

So like somebody had a deadly disease that made it so there was a skeleton in someone’s foreskin so it had surgery to remove the skeleton which requires to remove the foreskin aswell

[@RandomGuy-mz3zw]

1 2 oatmeal acctually has a german version of it called 1 2 Haferbrei. And it does rhyme sometimes

[@katamari_]

the gif added years to my life

[@epicgamner1139]

YES HES FINALLY PLAYIN MINECRAFT