Why Older Guys Are DONE with DATING! (Are You EMOTIONALLY NUMB?)

[@RealTroyFrancis]

To get on the waiting list now for CAD ACADEMY, go here: cadacademy.carrd.co

[@davidt1621]

There's only one way to test your hypothesis against the prevalent notion that oxytocin is simply an addictive chemical: You take a significant break. Then, get a woman again and see if it's any more exciting than before. It may sound ridiculous, but that might be an irrational rationalization to avoid avoiding the addictive substance, in this case, oxytocin. Of course, the bigger question is whether you want to get yourself further addicted or if you'd rather find a new reason for living outside of the biological imperative to attempt reproducing.

[@adamleddy9894]

You could have had a coffee with me… my office is just to the left of you… or met at the Adlon ? 😂

[@ramushsteinuts9318]

I watch my friends with their wifes getting older and older, bigger and bigger. And their kids pappa pappa. lol what a losers. lol i was strange but i was right after all. wish all the "mature men" good look, and good health to deal with their treats.

[@ramushsteinuts9318]

the grasp for significance you can try like paschoal said a "leap of faith" . you can try absurdism camus and emile cioran. you can try spiritism "chico xavier" you can devote your like to philosophy, psychology, like yung said. "who looks outside dreams who looks inside awakes." you are a reason enough to admire and be admire to yourself. you do not have anyone to talk GREAT. talk to yourself create character in your mind and talk to them. embrace the truth no one cares about you, unless your parents. in my case both are dead. i live for myself and it's reason enough. or should you spent time feed a money grabbing cow. And their feminine energy lol . you are enough . we are too many.

[@ramushsteinuts9318]

you came to this sh43t hole alone, you will leave alone. why not live your life alone? You and I or any one else is a mystery enough to solve. very intriguing so much things to do to learn. More people you get a long, worse it gets, more you loose yourself, more you live like others. it gets some time to be yourself your friend, partner, but after you learn. . man woman lol. totally a waste of time.

[@hairymotter5455]

Generally I'm enjoying life more as a bachelor than I ever did in relationships. I'm older so the thirst doesn't control me as it used to...I go rock climbing, play xbox, take naps, eat pies and increase my rainy day stash.

[@blakerath1352]

rainy day stash? (drugs or money)?

[@hairymotter5455]

@@blakerath1352 haha cash

[@Filthy_Larry]

I smoke weed.

[@JimJones-gd2jy]

WINNING 🏆

[@terkelalgevind529]

I rarher grow some weed and eat some tbone steaks then gaming and pies honestly...

[@beereaucrat3233]

Yes, I AM emotionally numb. Been through the family court dungeons, kids are rejecting me, been knifed in the back by basically everyone. BUT... I'm happy, motivated and succeeding! Men don't need anyone else, they just turn inward and realize their own inherent strength.

[@Sup3riorr]

i feel about the same at this point.. hope your doing good brother from another mother !

[@dojocho1894]

Best wishes

[@WolfStory]

This is a great post... very similar experience here so Im with you brother.

[@aronedmondz3689]

In agreement.

[@Wananga39]

Sorry that your kids are rejecting you! Just make sure they don't try to use you for the dough-dough!

[@TheVagolfer]

I'm in my 60's, been happily divorced for 21 years. My house in paid for, I run my own business, own six cars and have plenty of money. I also play in a band, have written a novel, restore my cars, hike with my dog, play golf with my buddies, and occasionally date. Life is good, stay single, my fiends.

[@zamiadams4343]

Absolutely spot on words, I'm the same, single and loving life.

[@enriqueae7532]

Awesome!!!

[@elijcohen9145]

Enjoy

[@roninbutterfield6623]

55. Done it all. Committed the next few years spending much of my spare time hanging with my parents, (they won't be here for ever), rebuilding/ reselling old motorcycles in a small rented workshop, and being in nature. Also cooking and reading good books. No more drama. Just peace.

[@markdillon5494]

Outstanding sir. I spend more time with my parents too. My family and friends take precedence over everyone else.

[@roninbushida1180]

I don’t think you have to be that old to become numb to it all. 23 and been numb for a little while now after seeing the state of dating in my generation. It’s simply not worth it.

[@cheesemaster6463]

Not really experienced in regards dating in general, but i would like to know where u live and what exactly you mean with "dating in my generation".

[@andre5468]

Everyone experiences it. Many dates going nowhere, once in awhile you'll find someone worth being with. Until then, work on yourself and your own happiness. It gets easier

[@elinope4745]

Well if it helps any, from my perspective, dating hasn't been worth it for the last 10 years. Life was radically better in the 1990s.

[@geoffmcintosh3]

Smart man. Just imagine if we all were as smart. Would be happy and rich

[@melisboekje3836]

I was numb since 15y old

[@zyx7478]

Social media (facepuke, twitter, TikTok and other trash) has truly helped ruin decency, dating, human communication, and it’s further created a philosophical and political rift in America. We have become apt to run to assumptions and stereotypes seeing them as truth.

[@dakinejeb7890]

You're the first to articulate what I've been feeling as an older man of 56. Thank you.

[@RealTroyFrancis]

thanks you sir 🙏🏼

[@paulolson3983]

Divorced twice I have only one child that remembers me on Father's day. I lost everything twice. All I want is peace in my life.

[@andrewpizzino2514]

At 51 the same. When the occasional person(always younger and female) suggests don’t you want a relationship? I respond I already have what I want in my personal life…PEACE.

[@jami7772]

53 and in the same position. One child who is poisoned. Only had one card in 14 years. UK family court systems are attrocious along with the lawyers. Have Netflix, good books, Led Zeppelin and time to myself to do as I please. Just need to get out of London !

[@georgesontag2192]

If she is attractive, you have to deal with her having hidden boyfriends, using you, playing games. It's a roller coaster ride. If she is not very attractive, you don't want to spend too much time with her. You won't win.

[@RealTroyFrancis]

generalisation

[@paulolson3983]

It's true 👍.

[@4SChris]

George I feel the same, that is why I quit dating... ;-)

[@BigBenn2014]

Just stumbled across your channel and at 57 a lot of your observations resonated with me. It just isn’t as exciting as it once was. I’m more interested in peace and tranquillity than the drama of dating.

[@kurts6741]

Having female companionship usually only 1 or 2 days per week is plenty. Anything more is not desirable anymore.

[@HunkyMan777]

Yeah - just have a rotation to poke when you feel like it

[@tallspicy]

You sound like a real keeper.

[@ji1787]

i have always been a loner. i enjoy my hobbies and spirituality. sometimes i think would my life be better with a girlfriend, and my belief is statistically it would give me a small fun/pleasure especially in the beginning and then that just dies and it becomes work, compromises, and a general pain in the ass. i ve seen this with my friends/relatives ... especially with babies ... total disaster. if you want a less stressed life ... be a monk. if you really crave sex, get a hooker .. that's it.

[@simonshaw4087]

One of the best replies I've heard anywhere . 👏

[@ChanceBerryman]

Well said. This needs to be added into the Bible 🙌

[@ScreamingEagleFTW]

hooker sex must be awful compared to a girl who is freaking out into you.

[@glengarbera7367]

I agree 100 percent

[@daryl9799]

Very true once the honeymoon stages wears off everything changes the demands get more and more. It's exhausting once you fall off your game they get bored and find another man.

[@jonathandjing1065]

Anyone else isn’t a dating and relationship man ? I have my sex adventures every now and then and I have cohabitated a year with a woman once and that was enough for me, I don’t crave the feeling of being full time with someone, I find my freedom is priceless, I love it too much, I go anywhere I want, any time I want with whoever I want. The moment a woman starts chasing me, show jealousy, starting dramas, screaming for no reason etc I feel miserable to the point that even the presence on the same room bothers me because I can’t watch a movie in peace or read a book.

[@barneyrubble957]

You’ve described me

[@voiceofexperience]

@@barneyrubble957 And me.

[@richardvargas6219]

Excellent perspective. I don't have time to date. Having too much fun doing what I want. 63 years old from California.

[@blackmirror5601]

Cut out dating for the time being. 40, single, and free... also free from the stress of trying to put so much energy into the black hole known as modern dating. Just reserved a motorbike and plan to travel around whilst working. Couldn't ask for more, really. Thanks for your video!

[@m.l.5284]

Not sure, what age you consider an "older guy". For my part, at 51 y/o I feel more motivated than ever before, no matter what, business, relationships, everything. For super motivated men, possibilities increase tremendously with time, there is no limit to what they can achive

[@RealTroyFrancis]

i’m 48

[@m.l.5284]

@@RealTroyFrancis Then you are not an 'older guy'.

[@yarkoprots3046]

@@RealTroyFrancis you look mid 30's at most.

[@gilbertosanchezjr5747]

Agreed

[@johnhernandez1235]

55 here my brother. You hit the nail straight on.

[@MrRpmattack]

I’m 100% with you.!! I was married three times. I walked away three times and now i got it. I’m laughing now about my silly attempts to give it some significance on a personal level with a woman. Being single now makes me giggling sometimes in the morning realizing bow happy i am.

[@laurieharper1526]

I would suggest it's a case of being emotionally intelligent rather than numb. Knowing when to let something affect you and when not to. Being in touch with one's emotions does not have to mean being ruled by them. It's not a matter of denying them, but acknowledging them and deciding how you react. Being able to do so frees you from being exploited by others, who seek to use your emotional responses against your interests.

[@inconnu4961]

All true things you say, but at our root we are emotional creatures who worship at the alters of passion! We all wanna have something or some one we are passionate about and can devote ALL or creative energies towards! So being overly 'balanced' can be confused with being numb. if we are not supposed to seek any outside social approval or validation, then what are the parameters to earn our own approval or validation? Whats it all for?

[@laurieharper1526]

@@inconnu4961 "What's it all for"? Nothing.

[@kirk1968]

I'm 54 (and in Arizona, hahaha), thank you so much for your videos and the discussions that get generated in the comments. We can certainly learn much from shared experiences, and also know that we're not alone in relationship chaos that is modern dating. Creating the perfect mix tape for the girl you liked in the 80s was a challenge, but those girls are now grown up and demand FAR more of us. Nope. Enjoy your life as a free man, brothers. Cheers!

[@RealTroyFrancis]

hahahahaha the old mix tape days!

[@miamitrancemissions6425]

Men will get to a certain point that chasing sexual highs and the need for the relationships of time gone past is exhausting. The hardest question to then answer is what to do next. Purpose needs to be redefined.

[@Aubatron]

Easier said than done. That is why there is so much nihilism around today, because that purpose has to be sought out, it is not built into our culture anymore. We don't have religion anymore, and we don't have healthy relationships with family. Men work, often in jobs that hold up the physical aspects of our society and destroy their bodies doing so, with zero recognition or appreciation. Not only are men lost, but men are disrespected by society. Most men live lives of quiet desperation, and only a few find that purpose. It is why 5 guys kill themselves for every 1 woman. Things wont change though, because men are expected to be fully responsible for themselves and solving their own problems. The best we can do is change our culture to stop demonizing men. I think we're at that tipping point now to be honest, people are starting to realize how toxic it is.

[@ScreamingEagleFTW]

its amazing how much of what we do is because of wanting the ideal relationship or seggs. Once you take that away and accept that it doesnt exist, where does the motivation come from? unless you are an artist and enjoy creating things, thres not much to do except eat and make money and what good is money , how much do you need and what can you do with it that will make you any happier than you are? once you have your peace and quiet, money has high diminishing return. This is why men commit suicide.

[@jasondorsey7110]

@@ScreamingEagleFTW damn that's sad, life's short enough as it is, why does life need to have validation to just enjoy the ride

[@ScreamingEagleFTW]

@@jasondorsey7110 well dont listen to me, im just one guy, i should keep my mouth shut so as not to bring anyone down. There is happiness in life, happiness for a man is always in helping others. So theres that.

[@videostoragechannel]

@@ScreamingEagleFTW You certainly have to look for new things to get involved with once you've outgrown the young tasties. You're right in that helping others is (at least one of) the right paths. You got to push yourself to try new things. I'm in that boat and really trying to expand myself. It's a good rush but you have to be fearless. Traveling, new languages, new hobbies. It's a rush but it's hard.

[@radiantdawn4356]

I am only in my late 30s, but I am already feeling tired of the little petty fights and unnecessary drama. I feel like I am better off alone (at least for the time being). I can save more money, have more time for self-improvement, and I am able to focus better on accomplishing the things I want in life.

[@FFE-js2zp]

If you are still wondering whether you are better off without the drama, craziness, illogic, pettiness, emotional wrecks and dependency, well… you are.

[@Kenny-Ross]

That’s my mindset exactly. I can save more money, have more time for self improvement, and I’m able to focus better on accomplishing the things I want in life. We’re on the same wavelength my man. Peace and good vibes from California. 👊🏼

[@radiantdawn4356]

@@Kenny-Ross Thank you friend. Stay on track and don't let anyone slow you down. You will fulfill all your dreams! I wish you the best!

[@Kenny-Ross]

@@radiantdawn4356 Thank you my friend! You too. Go get it!

[@waltervelasquezgwt]

If having a family and bearing kids are in your goals, it is up to you to take a decision and being aware to minimize your risks with a Prenup from divorce, alimony, child custody and support.

[@BlackieNuff]

Everything eventually loses its luster. It usually happens naturally with age, but other factors ([personal circumstances) can expedite them sooner than normal.

[@inconnu4961]

Agreed! There is nothing new under the sun! it's all like chasing after the wind!

[@kzariuscook1275]

agreed

[@Leo-jw4ex]

A woman shouldn't be the deciding factor in my happiness..That's a recipe for disaster..It'll happen if it was meant to be..I'm busy living my life on my terms.👍

[@Decline-America_Is_In_Trouble]

Well. I’m 42 Troy and although my T levels are still solid especially when I’m hitting the weights hard, I don’t really care NEARLY as much anymore. R’ships n dating simply just take TOO MUCH energy. If something worth while falls into my lap ok But gentlemen. There’s so much out there in life to learn and try and master. I’m a confirmed bachelor. And largely loving it.

[@wjebel]

Interesting reflective video. Our purpose changes as we age. The purpose of a middle-aged man isn't the same as a young man because we are in different seasons of life. Finding and pursuing purpose keeps our passion alive.

[@Nathan19791]

Your post is speaking to me right now and certain questions about my own life that I need to start asking as a mature guy in his 40's. Thanks!

[@BillLaBrie]

Our purpose is to die well, and not too uncomfortably.

[@inconnu4961]

@@BillLaBrie How do you 'die well'? Do you live well before you die well, or do you only struggle until you get tired, then plan the dying process? How will others know you have dies well, or wont they know? And does it even matter?

[@BillLaBrie]

@@inconnu4961 It only matters to you. You’ll only be remembered if you’re a burden or cause some difficulty.

[@robinfox4440]

I'm pretty emotionally numb now. I just feel like dating and sex are just going through the motions now. It's rare for me to feel genuine attraction and fondness for a woman, and when I do, she usually buggers off somewhere else. I'm just over it.

[@neuroleptika]

Never having to get another std test done, never having to worry about pregnancy, never having to worry about her true intentions, never having to be paranoid about her lying and cheating - Its serious life quality upsides.

[@trw4war322]

In your 50’s dating is pretty much been there done that. Marriage is even worse. Bachelorhood is really best way to go nowadays.

[@redbullvodka5696]

Nothing excites me anymore, and people either bore me or stress me out.

[@dforeigner]

Like many other guys have mentioned, it’s just about enjoying tranquility, and not having much patience for bullshit anymore. It’s good to be able to get up at 3am to cook stake, come and go as I please, saving or spending money as I wish. This is more important than being with someone at this point.

[@ForeverTributesNL]

Never had a relationship for longer than 6 months and I'm starting to think it ain't all that bad. But yea, if I hadn't invested so much time in dating throughout my 20s and 30s, I'd probably be a multimiljonaire right now.. and less emotionally numb. Life is good though.

[@cheesemaster6463]

how would you have made millions?

[@kevinslyter]

This video helps me understand why people stay in the same relationship for decades because they try to rekindle the same feeling they had in the beginning.

[@inconnu4961]

That, and they really dont know what to do with themselves outside the safe confines of 'dependable social structures.

[@steveburke7675]

...most are simply terrified of being alone.

[@deanmignola5448]

I can totally relate. A couple night ago I went on a second date with a beautiful woman that is totally my type physically. She talked 98% of the time and she was a boring kisser and we had very little in common. So many of my dates seem to go like that lately. It's like the juice is not worth the squeeze.

[@rjc7289]

Speaking as a soon-to-be 50-something, I can honestly say the things I used to prioritize in my youth no longer have any bearing on my life, or have minimal relevance at best, and that includes dating and relationships. I can take stock of that aspect of my life and say, "Whatever happens happens." My relationship status is a moot issue and will not be the litmus test for what it means to live a whole and fulfilling life. Should I eventually go to my grave remaining single, so be it. I will find my way through this life and do what it takes to be happy and content with or without a significant other.

[@ripeforinvesting1663]

For me, it’s become like a book or movie that I already know how it ends. I suppose that can’t be too exciting, lol. 42 yrs old-been in relationships, divorced, got my T-shirt, and there’s a great chance I won’t be bothered with it all again

[@PanosKalaigidis]

I know what you are talking about 100%. What I have found the hardest was to realise that it was in part a need for external validation. And getting rid of that was, and it somewhat still is, the most difficult part. Because if you no longer require external validation, and try to build situations in your head that lead to that, what then remains. I think that the numbness comes at least in part from disentangling oneself from external validation. Sex is important of course, but it is also a validating factor. With that drive also in decline, the disentanglement and disenchantment comes.

[@RealTroyFrancis]

this comment is bang on because - if i understand you correctly - you’re saying that if you no longer require external validation then why bother doing anything at all. This, gentlemen, is a very real issue.

[@PanosKalaigidis]

@@RealTroyFrancis you have understood me correctly Troy. This is precisely my point.

[@briagarri275]

Interesting way to look at it. The ex wife took all the money. It was substantial. I got my son, thank God. I'm 54. Woman anywhere near my age are mostly solipsistic, capricious, needy,vain, and slopy fat. My son is an honor student with top marks in top classes in a top school. He is receiving awards in college level classes in STEM. Focusing on him is time better spent. Focusing on my business is better as well. I think woman are for the most part a thinv of the past.

[@Peter_Wang]

You have just put into words absolutely everything I’ve felt for years. Thank you for helping me understand myself.

[@paulcooper5748]

I can understand i feel the same way.

[@momma_goose]

If you’re not interested in a relationship or romance as you put it, even though you do but it’s a bottomless pit. What else can you offer the world, that really needs it. Purpose you know. Stick on the existential exploration. You’re on to something. Helping others brother✌️

[@RealTroyFrancis]

Thanks man - and you’re right. that is my purpose!

[@inconnu4961]

It's the purpose until you run into those special people who take and take and are thankless and entitled! Many a person i have met who have devoted themselves to charity have absolutely burned out because of the professional 'Needy' group! They always take, and rarely give back, and when the give, its with strong strings attached! Guard yourself on this path also!

[@momma_goose]

@@inconnu4961 fair point - it’s rough. I’ve tried to help so many peeps with little reward, though I have seen them improve, regardless. Some no, but usually just planting that idea can change them.

[@williamjohnweaver]

I've just found your channel and I'm impressed with how open and honest you are with your thoughts and feelings

[@FreeAgent99]

Dating is dead, it’s pay for play, and I’m ok with it.

[@TriforceOfTheGods80]

Yeah but which, the pay upfront one aka prostitution or the beta take her to an expensive date, waste too much time, all the Bs for maybe a lay.

[@FreeAgent99]

@@TriforceOfTheGods80 I know what you mean, it’s always MEAT. Either Money, Energy, Attention or Time. The latest development is seeking arrangement, you will be baffled by the number of regular students hanging out there in your city…

[@FreeAgent99]

@@TriforceOfTheGods80 id prefer upfront where you know what you are getting instead of inviting for dinner where a beta might not even get a kiss

[@mpumelelobeyers957]

You paying for it regardless w your MEAT(lol🤭) ; 1Money 2Energy 3Attention 4Time

[@intellectualdegen]

Tons of fun to be had. Be honest with yourself when you’re hanging out with a woman. You will notice doesn’t take long to get to the point you’d rather be doing something else. Than hanging out with her. When that time comes. End it. Get a new one.

[@mac1bc]

Dating multiple people just to date becomes draining for me. I'm not interested in chasing much anymore.

[@fredflintstone8048]

We men have certain needs that a relationship with a woman is supposed to fulfil under idea circumstances. It's not unusual for us to view a relationship completely differently than how the woman we're involved with views it. As that difference become more apparent to us, it begins to break down. I do agree that as these kinds of experiences stack up in our lives we become more aware of this reality which does in fact change us. I do think our idealism which brought us great joy at times begins to wane.

[@stevehenson6562]

At 53 I have lost interest in things I have cherished over the years. Explore your inner motivations and what drives you. You may be interested in where it really leads.

[@johngoras73]

In 1965, a mid-life Sinatra put out a great album, September of My Years. It's all about getting on and getting over in life. He was able to come to terms with his chaotic sex/romance life and transfer it into Great Art, just in time. Aside from any musical tastes one has, it's something every man should listen to, meditate upon, at least once.

[@RealTroyFrancis]

It Was A Very Good Year is a great song

[@ChanceBerryman]

Great recommendation I’ll check it out

[@inconnu4961]

Will give it a go! Thanks for the suggestion!

[@DarkWaldzwerg]

From September to February, I was dating an attractive woman. From the very beginning I knew that sooner or later she would break up with me anyway. So I used it while she was willing. When she broke up with me in February, I accepted it right away. Sorry for my English ;)

[@inconnu4961]

Your English is fine! No apologies necessary!

[@DarkWaldzwerg]

@@inconnu4961 Thanks. I support myself with a translator;)

[@siriustraveler7083]

Actually the older you get the less important a relationship is, I personally have been divorced 11 years and I have not really looked for a relationship ( I did for a while) but gradually it waned and I now do what I want when I want I have turned into the quintessential cat guy 😂 I basically have everything paid for and just work and enjoy life

[@clarke6808]

I feel you on this. Hit the nail on the head. I am exactly the same.

[@untouchable360x]

Dating is like looking for a good car in the junk yard these days.

[@ukaszrojek9516]

Self realization is a one way street Troy. Once You realize that fulfillment, happiness or joy You get from things / events / people is only temporary and You don't have any control over it, You will start to look in the right places trust me:).

[@tomaszsosnowski9279]

Probably true, but definitely difficult. Pozdrawiam.

[@ifeelhalfnaked484]

just to look at life as events of exploration, different flavors and people. Once you can take them in and let go freely, you enrich your well being

[@OnderHassan]

It certainly was a realisation for me and soon discovered that there was really only one place to look.

[@beck-tn9gl]

I think that the video is pretty much spot on. I've been divorced from my second wife, for 11 years. And I really haven't dated. I'm 63 and in between my two marriages, I really enjoyed myself for 10 years of the 1984 and 1994. The issue now, is that I'm now so set in my ways and have not had to answer to anyone for over a decade. I was actually thinking of the phrase, " now is the time to put away childish things" when you said it. I have no time, nor patience for foolish things. Good video. Thanks!

[@hueyseale4253]

48 and saw a lot of dysfunction and infidelity as a kid. Hard pass on marriage!!!!

[@derekyates7394]

Have got to say Troy, your Berlin video of "why older Guys are DONE with DATING!" is so spot on and describes my feelings and views to a tee. The trouble seems to be that society, "single shames" particularly men as being odd and weird if they do not have a partner. I was married 37 years and upon reflection unhappily but, the concern for being alone (plus the courts giving me a financial kicking getting divorced) kept me in this awful marriage, being bossed and bullied by what appears to be a narcissistic wife. Thanks for sharing your views as makes me feel less alone. Bill

[@RealTroyFrancis]

if you’re being shamed for being single then the answer is to get new friends or distance yourself from those family members

[@inconnu4961]

@@RealTroyFrancis Society shames us, though. Sometimes overtly ( toxic masculinity), sometimes more covertly.. Certainly you have experienced this or at least suspected it. Maybe its different in UK compared to Fortress North America?

[@hamiltonlima1898]

being 50 ,I no longer have the need to date ,I'm better off , less headache and stress, or the possibility of getting stabbed in the back by a woman

[@labandonaldhock80]

The answer is simple, pay for it, cheaper, less time consuming, much more satisfaction, hassle free.

[@TheRobbo007]

I’m 37 and I’ve never had a serious relationship with a woman. Of course I’ve dated lots and slept with plenty of them but relationship wise, no.

[@WolfStory]

You aint missing anything my friend.

[@daryl9799]

Don't waste your time man just plow the fields and move on.

[@paulking9974]

Puberty is natures ecstasy and men keep chasing that first feeling, unfortunately or fortunately depending on your view point, logic , reason, practicality and reality are the slow process of rehab.

[@Scaley_Reptile]

One reason I'm grateful I'm a man... I don't NEED a woman...when I SAY I'm happier single, I actually mean it. I did for last few years before going monk, have a few FWB...they were mostly low maintenance and sex was good...but honestly, I find it not worth getting all sweaty for anymore...I'd rather build muscle or go play basketball than use that energy banging.. Wich (was) my favourite thing for a long time. It's so much easier once your no longer addicted to bag.

[@LiftOffLife]

Man is both the marble and the sculptor.

[@DDSMASH74]

You're not searching for love you're searching for meaning. I'm 48 and have been celibate for some 2 yrs. I'm building a permaculture garden, improving my home and attaining new skills. My libido has virtually gone and I feel so peaceful!

[@RealTroyFrancis]

What does 'meaning' mean?

[@Hirthirthirt]

its true, I have more chances by woman than ever, yet refuse to date them

[@placetobelong]

I think the secret is to always be learning something new. To always have a beginner's mind as buddhist say, keep your mind fresh and creative.

[@clarkbonilla]

I appreciate your willingness to look inward and reflect on life, your thoughts and your behaviors. I do the same.

[@zbridgjpxupzm]

I am much younger than you but totally relate with this. I think that spark you talk about doesn't die, it transforms, it will come back again in a new form.

[@wat5513]

Happy, traditional marriage > Man in solitude > Single man still simping > Disrespected daily in a miserable marriage > Divorced and destroyed, paying alimony and make-up support for years. Your choice gentlemen.

[@inconnu4961]

I tried the happy traditional marriage. it morphed into something not traditional and certainly NOT happy! How do you properly cleanse out the yeast of feminism before it spoils the thing? We were well connected to our small Bible-believing church. The feminists posed as wise crones and played on her hypergamy like she was an expensive banjo! feminism has infiltrated the church so bad i pray for an all-male church! Ladies, stop trying to hang pink curtains in the training room!

[@wat5513]

@@inconnu4961 oh boy. Unfortunately, there is the bait and switch. The ficklesness and fecklessness of the femmes in full effect these days. A honda will definitely last longer than the typical relationship these days. But with the legal destruction that divorce can only deliver. Scratch that, they chuck out men like it were an iphone. You're treated like the latest and greatest, but it ain't for a lifetime.

[@blackpillfitness9136]

Hey man, you’re rocking kind of an old school Miami look. I dig it

[@D00FY]

Yep, checking in from Arizona.

[@RandomFaxx]

:D

[@timbarnett3898]

I can't lose 6 acres, 42ft barn, 3 garages, etc..again!

[@patriciavandevelde5469]

I m 61, traveled the world, married once,divorce cost me a fortune as a woman so same story here! Bored,seen it and heard it! Same here! 20 woman for 1 man here in Belgium!

[@RealTroyFrancis]

Really, that the ratio in Belgium?

[@espada9]

Not dead inside just focusing on investing, lifting weights and jiu jitsu. No more of my time will be wasted on low ROI prospects.

[@stevenlangdon-griffiths293]

How refreshing to find someone who is actually unlocking the thoughts I have. I don’t live in Arizona, but it doesn’t matter. The presenter, without knowing, has joined the pieces. I can see some justification for my lifestyle now.

[@easter_sunday]

It doesn't pay to be anything but emotionally numb.

[@thechaostrials1964]

I'm in ARIZONA! Ha. I've been burned too many times. My last relationship was with a narcissist who nearly destroyed me and much of my property, So, yes. I am numb. I do hope for a real loving relationship. But, sadly, I am not optimistic. Now I just work on me.

[@albertengles3130]

I was married for 25 years what a giant pain in the ass it was. I'm finally free again she didn't die like I'd hoped but she left anyway. Baahahaha

[@OnderHassan]

In the end, you will only have 2 paths. The path to addiction and worldly dissatisfaction, or the path to God. Either way, it is all a choice. And the choice is inevitably yours.

[@RealTroyFrancis]

😇

[@Oldguard12345]

I really enjoyed this. Your honesty is really refreshing to hear and i feel i could safely say, you are not alone.

[@midlanderwbaboothy7068]

I'm 52 and this video really sums up where i am in my life and the attitude i have towards dating, enjoying content i can relate with

[@ConstantinPhillipou]

Without passion, what's left? Your conclusion is exactly the point.

[@jolly7728]

This is an interesting existential exploration of trying to understand a man's romantic feelings, as he grows older. That “first-experience thrill” never goes away, though. And this is because each woman's beauty is something new (or seems like something new), different, and enchanting, which a man will then process and pedestalize in the hope that she’ll be “the one” he's been looking for his whole life, “the one” that will give him that original carnal thrill. Of course, she's not the one, since no such woman exists for any man. Those beauties are all gorgeous apparitions giving guys of all ages yet one more reason to stay in the illusory game of life.

[@TriforceOfTheGods80]

Maybe if he is blue pill, if he is red pill or black pill, it is done. You might question your feelings & when you have to do that, it is done.

[@JohnDoe-dl1vx]

AMAZING YOU JUST PUT IN WORDS WHAT I'VE BEEN FEELING FOR THE LAST YEAR. COULDN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT BUT YOU JUST EXPLAIN IT TO ME. THE RELATIONSHIP CONSTRAINTS, NOT HAVING THE SPARK,NOT WANTING TO PUT UP WITH NONSENSE. I TIP MY HAT TO YOU. YOU'RE TRULY A GENTLEMAN... AND I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS.. WONDERFUL VIDEO. THANK YOU.

[@RealTroyFrancis]

thank you sir

[@StefaanDik]

I can relate brother...after being a player for a while in my younger years (41 now, no children) and having lived with a woman for a longer period I am now fine by myself. Have a job I like, family, friends,freedom and still being relative good looking and fit. I lost that extreme drive to get girls. If a great woman comes along then thats great but I dont care as much anymore.

[@garry8390]

Thank you for your honesty. I think this video will be very relatable to far too many people.

[@Torgo1001]

Aaron Clarey's new book "The Menu: Life Without the Opposite Sex" addresses the existential questions posed in this clip.

[@luis__jrtx]

I absolutely relate to this sentiment! It's probably way more common than you realize. At 47 the chase just has SO much less importance now and I'm probably grateful for that.

[@charlesrogers8420]

I am invested in peace, tranquility and maintaining friendships.

[@MarcMolk]

I'm exactly in the same state of mind. The KZbin Algorythm is pure genius. I don't see another explanation to have found your video. Man, you're brillant. Thank you. What a relief to hear this feeling of detachment expressed by someone else in the exact manner ! Thanks

[@RealTroyFrancis]

cheers man

[@rkd350z]

I stayed single since end of 2019 and my car collection count went from 2 cars to 7 cars + trailer now. When I focus on myself and "ME" alot can be done.

[@soup-nazi6824]

I'm 53 & don't know a married guy I envy-most of them have sexless marriages & they are just kept around to pay the bills & get nagged at by their wives...

[@RandomFaxx]

Sounds like the dream lol

[@Lyingleyen]

I ride motorcycles - its one hell of a hobby and is always there to clear your head and give you a fresh outlook on life. A woman would have to be pretty special to come between me and my bike.

[@bw5187]

Think the problem is in going into "relationships" with an idea of how something needs to be. Whatever happened to meeting someone you would rather just hang out with all of the time? A lifetime together will never work if you don't even LIKE each other. Going out for looks, money, status, daddy issues, or anything else is foolish as opposed to spending time with someone you genuinely like, are interested in, and care about. Yes, the hanging out also involves finding out if the person even wants to have a family. Society is so distracted from the things that actually matter.

[@RealTroyFrancis]

Every couple ‘just wants to hang out all the time’ at the beginning….

[@jasonprior2107]

I'm 46 and I feel you. It's extended to my creativity, which I've discovered was largely driven either directly by the desire to impress or the energy that desire gave me. I have found some things that still mean something intangibly meaningful - surfing, gardening, building and yoga - but they all require a fully functioning body, and that's increasingly starting to creak. I think those pastimes I listed all connect you to something universal, which is the space people have traditionally reserved for God. I can see the advantage of feeling that universal connection just through faith rather than relying on an unreliable body to connect you. Although I just can't believe in a documented religion I very much suspect it's a human need to make some connection with some universal force. I feel I've connected with it enough now that death holds no terror for me anymore, it's just the journey to the destination I'm a little concerned about.

[@inconnu4961]

So what's wrong with organized religion, that isnt wrong with every other aspect of society? I was agnostic as a young man, tried different spiritual paths and found that the greatest monotheistic religion had more of the better answers than anything else i tried! Further more, at times I have started to drift a bit and tried to take solace in other philosophies. But they never solved the root problems, and all it does is bring us back to ourselves, and our darker side, which we all loath and contend with. For the life of me I can not understand how ordinarily rational guys have such an insane hang up about organized religion! it's not the philosophy, its the people! And the same people, by and large will be present in any and every community you seek! if you cant get along with ONE measly old woman for too long without running away, why would you expect communities of 2 or more to be better? some one help me understand the rationale; i just dont get it!

[@Hiperid]

Not only older, guys from all age groups slowly distance themselves from dating game. Younger ones too, especially if they are smart enough to deduce how "game" works. It is rigged to lose, for most guys, except 20 percent of guys from the top.

[@cheesemaster6463]

what do you mean with rigged? like guys getting abused? in what sense?

[@Hiperid]

@@cheesemaster6463 Family court raping, lose half of your shit, prenup is a joke, etc.... Men in 21 century, have almost nothing to gain from marriage, and much more to lose.

[@jasondorsey7110]

20%? Try 10%...and they still reserve the right to treat Prince Charming like dirt

[@Hiperid]

@@jasondorsey7110 You are absolutely right my man, even wives from very rich man, like Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos divorced from them. What can average bloke expect? Pure logic says, much, much worse.

[@ichdu7310]

Welcome to Berlin, I hope you can enjoy it, at least you made an excellent talk here so thanks for that time!

[@randyhiggins9635]

I can totally relate. What and how do you fill your day if you are alone. Pets help a lot. But, what I make up in my mind was way better than the actual relationship with them.

[@rogermccartney8720]

You had me at 'hello'

[@marcelowilliams4535]

Emotionally I feel nothing these days. I find myself being ruthlessly and brutally honest with everyone I come in contact with. I have little patience for the vagaries of small talk. I place people in two categories. Dissmissive Irrelevancy and somewhat temporarily worth not choking for the moment. A constant state of zero fucks.

[@AldermanFredCDavis]

I aspire to this state. Currently, I can only achieve it through CBD.

[@HarryOnCars]

Wow really enjoyed your thought ❤️

[@S1000xrhp]

That phase you're discussing is Investment, that's no bad thing, it's a positive stage, you're trying to build something and it's a worthwhile phase to go through. But once that spark dies it's good to see that you aren't destroyed by it, you've got a quite balanced view on relationships. They start, get better, stabilise, fade away and end, it's just a lifecycle. Some remain stable for years others burn out faster. I ride motorbikes which provide me with peace, calm, serenity until that is when some knacker tries to punt me off it. Find what it is that gets you to that spot. People are flawed, relationships fail, it's just life. The poorest saps are those in a failed relationship and can't/won't/don't leave. And that's a life of hell, it's the fear of change. You have to embrace change, new opportunities, new people in your life. The perfect partner may well be out there but you won't find her sitting on your arse, try a few different flavours see what happens. The point of life is to live it well. 🥳