Reasons Estates Don’t Get Settled...And What to Do About It

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Two reasons estates don't get settled are (1) the survivors are unaware of the need to complete the probate (in we call it a "Succession"); and (2) at least one of the participants is not cooperative.
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It is not uncommon for someone to pass away leaving survivors, and those survivors are unaware of the need to complete the probate of the deceased family member. For example, let's day Dad dies. Dad and Mom had purchased a home 35 years earlier. After Dad dies, Mom decides to continue living in their home. Mom has access to all of the joint bank accounts, and Mom was the designated beneficiary of Dad's IRA. She doesn't even think about seeing a lawyer to complete a Succession. Years later, Mom wants and needs to move into an assisted living facility. She decides to sell the home to help cover the expenses of moving and living in the assisted living facility. She puts the house up for sale, finds a buyer, and signs a purchase agreement. The buyer's title attorney conducts a title examination and discovers the home is still in the names of both Dad and Mom. The buyer's title attorney says, "No sale will take place until Dad's probate is complete!" So the sale is suspended, or perhaps worse, the buyer backs out of the sale.
We often see surviving family members unaware of the need to complete a Succession after their loved one dies. Perhaps the deceased owned a rental property and the family merely continued to collect rent from a tenant but never went through the Succession to get the title transferred. Perhaps the deceased had owned a one-third undivided interest in family property, with her two siblings, and no one bothered to include that as a Succession asset after she died. Perhaps the deceased owned real estate out of state, and the Succession does not transfer any of the real estate owned in the name of the resident.
So there are many circumstances where surviving family members are unaware of the need to complete a Succession after the death of a loved one. And when they finally uncover that need years later, it is more complicated because there is urgency, or perhaps an heir of the deceased passed away in the interim, making more probates necessary.
A second, and perhaps more frustrating, reason estates don't get settled, is when one or more of the participants is uncooperative. Neither the executor acting alone, or a majority of the heirs, can complete a Succession by themselves.
In order to transfer assets of the decease to the heirs, a judge must sign a court order ordering third parties to transfer assets out of the name of the deceased, and into the names of the heirs. A judge will not sign the necessary court order until ALL OF THE PARTIES sign off on the petition requesting the judge to sign the order (this order is referred to as a "Judgment of Possession").
Sometimes a participant will refuse to sign the necessary paperwork - sometimes for valid reasons and sometimes for petty reasons. Nonetheless, one participant refusing to fully cooperation will stop an estate settlement in its tracks.
So what's the Solution? Twofold:
(1) On the planning side, particularly if you anticipate relationship issues among your heirs, establish an estate legal program to eliminate or minimize the potential for problems. Avoid probate. Put the right people in charge with the authority to get things done. Communicate your reasons exactly why you are doing what you are doing.
(2) Once a family member dies, make sure you have very quick and very open communication with all of the parties involved. This early and open communication will build trust among the parties, often eliminating discourse.
This post is for informational purposes only and does not provide legal advice. Please do not act or refrain from acting based on anything you read on this site. Using this site or communicating with Rabalais Estate Planning, LLC, through this site does not form an attorney/client relationship.
Paul Rabalais
Estate Planning Attorney
www.RabalaisEstatePlanning.com
Phone: [phone]

[@nancydial5156]

I'm dealing with this it's already been 3 years

[@LVLouisCyphre]

I'm dealing with this nightmare now and dealing with a conversion suit to have my brother disinherited through probate court. He stole $45K from my father while he was dying of cancer ($13K in checks) and drained the remainder after he passed on. I don't know about Louisiana, but in CA you can force heirs to settle or get them disinherited in probate court through a conversion suit. The suit becomes a hybrid probate/civil suit case and the estate is suing the bad or uncooperative heir for damages. The damages effectively disinherit the heir by draining their share of the estate plus they may end up owing the estate money. During the conversion suit, the estate is in suspension from settlement until the final disposition of the conversion suit. It's common for the bad heir to abscond with their share of the estate that they will be required to pay for in damages. If you suspect that an heir has committed crimes against the deceased and the estate, talk to an attorney about a conversion suit. I don't know if this legal mechanism is available in Louisiana, it certainly is in California because I'm going through it now.

[@privateprivate8366]

I do suspect that my sister predated our mother. Although I’d gone no contact as, my mother was an abusive narcissist and I was her major target, I recently paid a visit to the property. It is as or even more hoarded, than it was before I left. Considering my sister knew our mother was diabetic, with neuropathy, you’d think she’d have made a path to the bathroom for her. At it’s worst, I could believe she just fed mom through the mail slot, while mom allowed her to live in the other property, just 4 doors away. But, the judge isn’t looking at that. He is now just looking at processing the estate thru probate, so my sister and I can get on with our lives, separately. Because he sees that she’s stalling, ignoring the court, then smearing let to the court, for documents I’ve provided, as required by the Surrogate Office. It’s a mess.

[@coolpix807]

Great information! Did your conversion suit go through the probate court or was it done as a separate civil suit? Hope your probate is resolved successfully.

[@user-de6vr3ij9x]

This was an excellent and thorough explanation, as I am going through all of this right now in just selling the house my mother continued to live in after her last husband passed away. He had 4 sons. He did not leave a will and it was never probated. My mother has 2 surviving adult children, me being one of them and having to now traverse this entire mess.

[@abelcerrillo2162]

I'm one that told my brothers and sisters I'm not signing anything until we agree that they will reimburse me for their share of the property taxes that I've paid for the last five years. There's 7 brothers and 4 sisters and if they don't agree I'll continue to live in the house and pay the property taxes.

[@privateprivate8366]

I’m involved in probate now, with the second scenario being at play. I’ll say that, these dynamics don’t always start at the siblings, but start with narcissistic parents - who very much want to triangulate their children, because the parent obtains narcissistic supply, from the competition between their kids. It can get to the point of being a dog fight, with the parent obtaining narcissistic supply, but claiming they had nothing to do with any of it, while they watch their kids literally destroy one another. Me, I went no contact. Nevertheless, mom died at the start of this year. I’m left with a formerly scapegoated sister, who was switched into the golden child role and I was, subsequently scapegoated. I believe my sister has Dunning Kruger Effect though. She self-appointed as administrator and considered administrator work as doing whatever mom said, living into the 2nd property, mowing the lawns, feeding mom (probably just through the mail slot actually), and doing nothing else, but feeling she could provide me with directives, to move into the property mom had lived in, with absolutely zero legal paperwork being handled, ignoring possible taxes and other debts. Essentially, living as a squatter and demanding I do so, as well. Like yourself, for the most part, the 5 or so lawyers I spoke with, did not want the case, as they considered it to already be contested. Although I have ZERO experience in writing up probate paperwork and because I felt the need and most likely to be appointed executor, who could afford the fiduciary bond, I researched and prepared the Order to Show Cause, Verified Complaint, and Proposed Form of Judgement, myself, submitting it to the Surrogate Office, and obtaining a hearing. While my sister has continued to ignore the court’s legally-appointed administrator, until the 2nd hearing yesterday, and also expressed to the judge yesterday, that I’d been mailing her fraudulent paperwork, which were actually the documents noted above, as required for executorship application, and I’d also included our stepfather’s Will as he did not die intestate, like our mom, but whose probate paperwork and Will has been in county records for years, but carries no weight, in lieu of mom dying intestate, I think the judge knew what he was actually looking at and will be providing the court-appointed administrator with a waiver, to have deeds transferred to my sister and I, for the 2 properties, respectively. Still, I’ve lost time and will lose money. I do not yet know how long probate will take, property taxes still have to be paid, Will I live in an apartment elsewhere and the one home needs to be winterized. It’s possible that my sister has just either been afraid to lose the property she’s in, that she’d decided she was administrator, regardless of the court’s decision to appoint one, or was just pulling “delay, deny, and hope you die”, with the assumption that, once I’m gone, she automatically becomes owner of my property, too, when she doesn’t even own the one she’s in. So, the sad reality is that, yes, you can have one person stall the process, in an effort to punish or to eventually have all property and assets go to them, doing absolutely zero footwork and you have to hope that you live in a state and have a judge that recognizes the absurdity of the fact that the plaintiff is, essentially, being held hostage by the defendant. That the plaintiff is forced to either comply, walk away from the estate empty-handed or is willing to research and file the legal paperwork, pro se, in hopes of forcing the process along. Don’t be afraid to try this. My background is in graphics.😅

[@rhrh9128]

Wow,that last line!!! That's an inspiration to me. I am totally out of water and about to take a dive and am nervous as all hell. Good luck!

[@privateprivate8366]

@@rhrh9128 I hope your situation is better though. Probate is pretty much over for us and the deeds will, apparently be transferred to each of us. But, I’d asked the court for permission to change the lock on the property I’ll be getting as, still, my sister acted as if she was Supreme Court Judge and property manager, ignoring the court and harassing and stalking and sending letters to the admin about me not cleaning up, although she didn’t want me to dispose of anything. She wasn’t finished. When the court Ok’d me changing the lock, I changed it, the admin sent a letter saying it was OK for both of us to do so on the respective properties, my sister told them she disagreed, broke in and had someone change the lock, so I couldn’t get into the house and I couldn’t show it to a broker. I alerted the court and they reprimanded her. But, as I have not yet received the deed, the police wouldn’t arrest her. But, when I go in there again, if I find she’s picked up the groceries she left -🚔. I want her picked up and off that block anyway.

[@chamomiletea9562]

It is really terrible when one sibling is turned into a scapegoat and is left out of the loop because of a manipulative and bossy trustee sibling. Communication and making each person feel equal is so important as he states here. In my situation it took many years for me to gain my rightful inheritance outright. I never wanted more than my share and was just pushed into a corner and plotted against because I was seen as an easy target. Get a really good lawyer who is practical and knows how to settle without drawing things out. Jealousy is very real among siblings and so is greed. I just wanted my own independence, to be free. I have that now.

[@plar6045]

What about in California? Its been 13 yrs since my uncle died leaving 20% to grandma now she died and now it goes to her 5 children including my mom. But his lawyer wont return any messages. How can they find out the status of the case? It seems the layer is dragging it on for greed. Thank you

[@user-te9uw4ii9g]

Wow, u answered many of my questions, it's time consuming, no lawyer communication, I'll call months apart to see where case is going, I get vague answers frm receptionist, I have no idea about my dad's estate, that the family did not tell my brother & I of his passing,& blocked us out ,we r first born,we were not mentioned in obituary ,& were ignored, we did not attend funeral, it's been Lil over 4 yrs, & I feel just like they left us out clueless, my lawyer is absent w communicating, I'd like to get another lawyer as my brother hired him w/o my knowledge, I'm not happy w any of treatment, what can I do??

[@markcraig7650]

Hey Paul I have a question I'm handling my dad's estate and he has two specially-constructed motorcycles one in which was actually in the magazine but it only has a 7 digit Vin and the other motorcycle Vin does not come up in the system as well in this case what can you do I'm not having any success and I've done a ton of research

[@ejcostin3070]

My brother is executor in Michigan. He lives in the home that is to be sold to settle the estate and divide the money among g beneficiaries He is lying saying he cannot move the house isn't worth anything and he states his name is on the house but it is not. What do you do with a problem executor?

[@LVLouisCyphre]

You hire an attorney and fight them in probate court over it. Estate administrators and executors can be removed by the court for fraud.

[@WomanRoaring]

Go to the court and request a copy of the deed, you can look it up online and see if his name is on it under the property tax website but having a copy you can confront him.

[@vernonsteinkamp1088]

My parents passed and allowed my sister to live in the house for 13 years ( until she passed). She (and her son) were to maintain the house as my parents. But they did not. I am a co trustee along with her. She had work done without permits and not to code and not notifying me of any of the work. Now it's for sale with several problems with the house. Her son is 1/2 recipient and I am the other 1/2. Can he be charged for his lack of responsibility and corrections to the house?

[@1danleung]

Yep, for the 2nd reason, ours not getting settled any time soon.

[@kaystephens2672]

If you're not listed in the will as an heir can a child file a contest or caveat as an interested party within the legal time limit of filing?

[@user-te9uw4ii9g]

I'd really like see if I can do something about family with holding info, as we found out on FACEBOOK, feels like iv been hit w a BOOK, how mean & dis heartening, all about greed! No matter what we will & forever be FIRST BORN, can't hide that fact

[@hannahloveanna6944]

PR is the one not settling the estate because she benefits the most by keeping all the assets for herself. What would motivate her to settle the estate if she doesn't have to? The "system" is flawed big time!

[@privateprivate8366]

Yes, I live in one to the contiguous states and, from what I’ve garnered online, my sister doesn’t have to comply with the legally-appointed administrator. Still, the judge will be providing a waiver, to get the deed for the 2 properties transferred to each of us.

[@pamelabeamer2433]

Going through this now let u know when it’s done hopefully soon father passed away mother did too brother also now I’m the heir beside my brother had a child have .to split his estate no mortgage all bills are pay let u know soon

[@darrylhaynes]

What happens If mom dies and leave her property Her home to two Children 1 wants to sale the other wishes to keep house and family How long could this dry out I mean is it possible to go into years ?

[@alawiajulius5033]

My husband died and we had a second deed that we we did not cancel when it was paid up now I have a problem transferring the house to my name. the first deed was cancelled

[@laurakaye5086]

Need a helpful answer as to how to resolve with an uncooperative party. All I heard was “I don’t deal with those cases.”

[@nidasalvador3996]

Sorry they sent me appoinment to see theme in court .but last minute i recieve my attorney dont bring me to see theme in coury cos about the disclaimer they do .for me sorry about that

[@jend7729]

I am a surviving spouse andI and my husband have only one child . But they want to put my daughter share to the trustee and guardian but in my country we don't have trust and guardian in my country the minor child property will be administered by the parent or guardian .I dont have two people also to find to act as sureties for administration bond .what should we do if we are financially in distress and hardship my daughter is just 1year and 6months what should we do for the court to consider our situation that we need money,food and shelter too specially my daughter .

[@southernblossom1150]

My dad passed away in 2018. I've yet to see his Will. His wife keeps giving excuses and says that the Will says Dad's 2 houses go to her daughter when she dies. That's BS, I know what Dad's wishes were. I went to our county court house and there is no Will under dad's name, she never had it probated. I am sure she is hiding something from me. Is it to late for me to take legal action. I am my father's only child.

[@WomanRoaring]

Go to the court and request a copy, she has to file the will with the court to probate the will and get the houses in her daughters names. If it’s true you’ll see it, if not you’ll have amo to use against her. Also if you know the attorney who wrote the will ask for a copy. It probably won’t be notarized but it will tell you what his wishes are and again you can confront her with it and scare her into doing what should be done and if she refuses you can take her to court.

[@Broommaker19]

What shes probably hiding is that he left the two houses to the new wife by adding her to the deeds before he died.. The only way you would get a copy of the will is if you are left something. There is no need to probate a will if the new wife received the houses free and clear. by survivorship deed transfer.What reason would she have to probate them if that is so? You might need to go to your register of deeds in your county courthouse to see if the deed has been amended in the past before he died showing her name and the words " joint tennacy with right of survivorship" If so you are SOL because the deed takes precidence over a will. A will, wont touch that. The houses 100% going to belong to her. if this is what you find. Dosen't matter that you are his son. I can sympathize. Im suing my brother for abuse of poa and executorship, deceptive undue influence of my parents and their estate . We were willed 50/50 split of assets, but He sold their houses before they died and put the money in his personal bank account ,then deceived them into signing onto his account. They were in cognitive decline when he did this..My attorney is livid at what is being found out. If you cant find anything out, you will have to find an attorney to rattle her cage. Do not sign anything of any kind of a settlement proposal from her until you take it to an attorney.

[@Broommaker19]

@@WomanRoaring No will is required if they were transfered on deed by right of survivorship.He could have died with or without a will. Ownership goes by deed immediate on death, bypassing a willl. Also,if you are not included in anything that passes throgh a will, and if a will is not probated, the attorney will not give a copy to anyone not listed as an heir. The attorney will tell you the executor would contact you . Ask me how I know.

[@chrisalex2379]

What if one of the heirs is not blood or adopted but was promised a car with no will....

[@americasestateplanninglawy1946]

SOL

[@shelliesuzannegamble4380]

Idk if the comment section is a wise place to air my tale but I'm all alone in this and I don't know wtf first step if any should be. At this point I need protection from dangers? Estate Lawyer for family or private investigators First?

[@michaelphillips3123]

My sister and I got cheated very badly because of POD accounts.

[@margaretfuller7129]

How do I find out when I could get the letter of administration can't get in touch with lawyer

[@LVLouisCyphre]

Fire the attorney, get substitute counsel and take the bad attorney to your State Bar Association. I had to do that with my father's estate. I'm also taking the previous probate firm to the CA State Bar Association. They're sitting on over $200 trust account fees that have not been refunded to me or transferred to my new counsel.

[@Broommaker19]

Go to your courthouse and go to the Chancery Court section to wills and probate. The clerk will give you forms and the guidelines on what if any restrictions you have to go by to be installed as administrator if your loved one died without a will, or to request to be executor if you have a will from them and real estate that needs to be probated. You dont always need an attorney to settle an estate. Each state has different requirements. I will tell you this, if you are required to post a surety bond, you will not get any of that money back. but it will be cheaper than a lawyer.

[@LVLouisCyphre]

@@Broommaker19 The bottom line is this person is dealing with attorney misrepresentation. Chancery Court only exists in certain US jurisdictions. It's a carry over of British Common Law. No such thing exists in the venue of my father's estate; California. California is one of the best States to be a probate attorney as they get a percentage of the estate as their fee and don't bill the estate hourly. Bottom line is the person above hired a bad attorney and is now stuck. The only thing they can pretty much do is fire them and get substitute counsel and hopefully they will do their damned job.

[@dennisjex2965]

Hey paul. My mother estate is organized but the executor has died..so im apllyin.. everything cinsolidated..1. Cash and 2 trust account...problems...the business from my grabdparents need to be sold and divided amongst the 4 aunts and uncle (3 now my aunt die may 21 2021 executor) shares sold.. and .. shoukd i hire lawyer ..last problem is 1. Trust for my borther over 10 yrs and 2 trust for disabled brother .. i dont want a executor fee and i will use my money to help my brother wirh scizoprenia medical and health bills

[@nidasalvador9705]

pls pls I need my assets from my late husband to get all .thank u thank u

[@vincentlee4799]

Sorry I did not see this as any real beneficial advice for a situation I am aware. This assumes you have any opportunity for any pre planning, well what if you don’t? Then what? You are a beneficiary and you do not have any cooperation/support from the Executor and because of that the Executor can just have the asset to their benfit.

[@moonshine3657]

It will get settled cause the executor is responsible to pay the property taxes each year.😃