Recovery Q&A // All-in or nothing? Larger body? Not the standard approach to recovery?

Answering some of your important questions about my personal recovery and the recovery process. Thank you again for all of your love and support, it really does mean the world to me and I hope that you find my answer to these three important questions respectful, insightful, supportive and encouraging.
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Instagram: @emilyspence__
Website: www.isr-recovery.com

[@felicitytaylor1868]

‘Your road to ED recovery is as unique as you are’👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼And THIS is why we desperately need more professionals with *lived* experience in the field helping those of us who are still en route to get there in a bespoke and tailored way because professionals who learned their recovery models from the textbook can just never ever ever know or appreciate how crucial this approach is. Thank you. Also for the EH/feast eating content - I can’t see enough of it atm. It’s so reassuring as it’s something I’m massively struggling with right now

[@christinelamb1167]

Absolutely! The majority of "eating disorder specialists" actually have no lived experience of an eating disorder. Therefore, they can read all the books, attend all the conferences and seminars, etc, but if they've never lived it, they truly do not know what it is like! I am thankfully and gratefully recovered for over 16 years now, but my eating disorder ruined my life for over 20 years. I sought many different avenues of help (therapy, dietician, 12-Step programs, spiritual groups). Some of these were somewhat helpful, but I never felt fully understood/supported. In the end it was me myself who had to DECIDE to recover, no matter what. I had to figure out for myself what plan of eating worked for me, and what boundaries I would have around my food and exercise. My plan and my boundaries have shifted over the years, because I have gotten older, and older bodies have different needs and requirements. But even with these changes, my bottom line remains the same: recovery, NO MATTER WHAT! I will not cater to the eating disorder voice, only to the recovery voice.

[@felicitytaylor1868]

@@christinelamb1167 so amazing and so inspiring. I know first hand how much commitment, strength and stamina this must have taken you. Immense respect and congratulations. I’m still on the journey but yes. I had to discharge myself from services because their inflexible and often traumatising approach was just making me worse. I needed trauma therapy before starting ED recovery and they wouldn’t let me do that. So I discharged myself and sought independent help. EMDR made a huge difference and since then I’ve been working with a therapist and an ED coach (who is herself recovered) and it’s genuinely the first time I’ve ever been in real real active and committed recovery for almost 25 years. It’s taken me such a long time and so many mistakes and so much pain but hopefully I’m in the right mindset and on the right path with the right support now 🙌🏼

[@BloomingLisa]

The way you approach questions in such a respectful and thoughtful manner is so beautiful and a real testament to your character as a person. Thank you.

[@mummytrolls]

i understand meal plans to a certain extent in early recovery. when people are still anorexic and starved, their brain and body are so damaged they often have no idea what the hell to eat or how much to eat. if many people in early recovery intuitively ate with no guidelines at all not even ‘aim for 3 meals and 3 snacks a day’, they’d still under eat. but intuitive eating needs to be introduced later on. in my residential program, that’s what we did. we were given a meal plan until we followed that well enough and took enough nutrition courses to slowly start introducing intuitive eating. it started with one snack a day then two then two snacks and lunch, etc. they’d choose in the 30/60 minutes before eating to have time for preparation vs choosing a whole week of food on one day for the meal plan.

[@ciaramcconnell57]

Great video Emily . Could you maybe do an insta post comparing a meal plan given to you by your treatment team to your extreme hunger / what would have been going through your mind if you were to stick to that meal plan and not let your body do its thing so that people can appreciate how such a plan keeps people stuck in an ed

[@johnnytsunami3558]

7 months later.. Have you recovered?

[@LauraAtlin]

Yes please do a video recreating that "hop and skip" that you talked about!!

[@emilyspence2961]

I absolutely will do :)

[@salmars9346]

Very important video for me. Thank you very much, Emily. It was exactly what I needed it to hear. Perfect 🙏

[@emilyspence2961]

Really pleased you found it helpful :) x

[@dorothypond2373]

Emily, thank you so much for this video; it's very helpful. If only more ED recovery "professionals" (dietitians, doctors, therapists, etc.) approached recovery in a similar, no-holds-barred manner. I think many of them are as afraid of weight gain-and ending up in a larger body-as their patients/clients are. Of course, given that they’re exposed to the same anti-fat bias as the rest of us, it makes sense that the “all in” approach would strike fear in their hearts and seem, at least on the surface, to be a very bad idea indeed-but as eating disorder "experts," they should be held to a higher standard, in my opinion (including being well acquainted with the concept of HAES, health at every size). Just my two cents' worth. Thanks again for the video. And I will echo other commenters by saying that I, too, would greatly appreciate a video on your “hop, skip, and jump” method-I think it would be extremely useful for many of us. The more detailed, the better! LOL. Kind regards.

[@rehchenhi1533]

Thank you for the very helpful analogy of using a "hop, skip and jump" approach/mindset... However, I wonder how I might be able to tell if I would actually benefit most from and be capable of full-on "jumping"? I have essentially been trying the hop, skip approach but seem to get stuck there, ie the fear generated from trying to do the 'hops" alone feels so intense that I give up on trying anything further. Any thoughts/advice would be greatly appreciated 😻 ♥️ (Oh, and I have great, open-minded, professional support but I live alone, and thus have no role model or live-in support/accountability partner available).

[@tammigardner9550]

I love your dresser!

[@emilyspence2961]

Thank you! I got it from Facebook Marketplace- just couldn't say no to it

[@mirchen01]

Your dog is so cute aw 🥺🥺 also thank you for this helpful video

[@emilyspence2961]

She is such a sweetie :) And happy to share!

[@carolienvanes5326]

What a good video ! I believe and trust everything you say about the 'best' recovery way, but what about all the fear ? I hope you can make a video about that 'hop and a skip', because I think that is what I need

[@betty324]

I really enjoy your video's they are so helpful.. Keep posting anything💚

[@emilyspence2961]

Thank you so much for your positivity! Means a lot to me to know that my videos are supportive :)

[@meganworley540]

This is a great video! This is exactly how I feel about my ED services 'plan' to the point (before starting food first approach). I called them out asking why they are telling me to restrict ect. This makes me feel more like it's OK to do this, we do get hungry, we are allowed to eat outside of rules. thank you for sharing 🙌

[@sivanshapira6710]

Thank you, this video is very helpful.

[@UnrestrictedVegan3]

Thank you for addressing the medical treatment aspect. When do you think it’s important to seek inpatient care, though? Everyone I’ve met says I’m too ill to do it on my own and I’ll be admitting to IP reluctantly in 12 hours. I wanted to just stay home and do mukbangs. 😂

[@Sarah24871]

Haha, the mukbangs sound the way to go if you ask me! 😊 Why not record them, I 'll watch you and eat with you 👍 How are you doing now?

[@BloomingLisa]

Ps. Your kittens 💗

[@fornamnefternamn4869]

Thank you for great videos.

[@emilyspence2961]

Happy to help and share :) Thank you for your support x

[@rainbowpeace777]

Hi Emily Can you tell me about KZbin accounts who have had experience recovering in a larger body? Thank you

[@Sarah24871]

Yes please!! 🙏

[@Onigirii222]

Check out Kayla Rose

[@dancingpixie74sb]

I keep relapsing because I see but one recovery coach in a larger body😢

[@medeatigger9199]

We like long videos ;-)

[@emilyspence2961]

Haha! I will remember that moving forwards =D x