Relationship Advice: Musician Edition | TwoSet Talks | EP. 3

What is it like dating as musicians? In this episode of TwoSet Talks, we talk about navigating relationships as musicians and how to deal with feelings of envy and competitiveness.
Also available on Spotify and Apple Music.
_______________________________________
Subscribe to our main channel: / twosetviolin
Join us on the world tour! Sign up to be notified when we announce your city: worldtour.twosetviolin.com/
Remember to GO PRACTICE.
_______________________________________
Follow us or Ling Ling will be disappointed.
IG: / twosetviolin
SHOP: www.twosetapparel.com
TOUR: worldtour.twosetviolin.com/

[@simplytwosetter]

Twoset talking/gossiping about musicians dating and carefully not spilling a thing about their personal life lol

[@evaa.3814]

😂

[@simplytwosetter]

@e2pii213 sorry I should make this half joke clear, I mean their personal relationships, love life if you will. And I'm not saying that I'm interested in their love life, I'm just half joking that they did a good job talking about dating without touching upon their own dating experience (which again, I'm not interested in).

[@GamerVinsmoke]

🗿

[@xandraxandra1437]

They are very good at not talking about their personal lives, have always been. I like the boundaries they have, not all famous people can keep it that way, and still be able to express personal thoughts.

[@Chihuahuauno1]

You mean those two draining each others sack on the daily…???…

[@LingLingwannabes_]

1st advice “ you shouldn’t be dating you should be practicing “

[@Sonny_McMacsson]

Yes, trick question.

[@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch]

best pfp ever :)

[@Randomstuffcore]

Wise words

[@LingLingwannabes_]

@@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch Ty lol ur pfp is epic too

[@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch]

@@LingLingwannabes_ thanks :) i actually have no idea where it came from i have so many of these lol

[@cr.quette]

the way they made this video but didn't go into any personal details is kinda impressive 😭

[@Sonny_McMacsson]

There are no personal details, just practice!

[@impassionategods_]

next episode: please talk about how you two can stay friends while also being business partners! how do you divide the work, how do you start to expand your team and hire other people you’re not close with, how do you divide the time between twoset and your own personal life, etc cuz u know starting a business with friends can very easily break your friendship apart

[@chia_s_ee_d]

I AGREE!!!!!!

[@chia_s_ee_d]

Cuz they said they don’t fight and just try to work things out!!! At this point, it’s life advice 😂❤❤

[@juliajihae]

Bumping this, I would love to know!

[@xandraxandra1437]

That would be so interesting and useful! I second this

[@stellaluna92]

I agree. Especially diving into what a day in the life may look like, how much is spent on practice, YT channel related work, TSA, touring and overseeing other aspects of the brand without burning out and keeping the passion for music alive. Also how this has evolved as the channel has grown.

[@sabrinai]

Brett immediately pointing out that the question of the young guy wasn't about Eddy and him but about the couple just shows how well he can read people.

[@antine1279]

He definitely has a knack for understanding emotions and people

[@ffconductress]

17:28 “If you need another pair of ears, I’m here and I’m all yours.” - I loved how inviting that sounded 😊 Thanks Brett!

[@antine1279]

He's very supportive, it's lovely to see

[@elissahunt]

I am a musician married to a musician (for 25 years and counting). I 100% agree that the relationship has to be about supporting each other. But this goes for everyone, not just musicians.

[@lizsettestriaume2012]

I strongly agree on this

[@aquamarine9568]

“Comparison is the thief of joy”, wise wise words to live by.

[@reigencansitonme]

something asian parents barely understand lol

[@hopegold883]

Everyone in any field needs to listen to this ep

[@chia_s_ee_d]

as a musician, I can confirm no matter how much we hide it, we still have a little bit of competitiveness inside us

[@imsamduh]

Yuppp.

[@elissahunt]

Um. Not everyone. I'm very non-competitive. I just focus on doing my best.

[@chia_s_ee_d]

@@elissahunt well maybe once you get to a higher level, plus I’m in school so ur always competing for spots and opportunities

[@elissahunt]

@@chia_s_ee_d It's a mindset thing. Think of it this way. You're NOT competing against the other musicians. You're competing against yourself to be the musician you want to be. It doesn't matter if you're the best in your section if you're not the best you can be. When you focus on your own progress instead of on being "better" than someone else, you improve at a far faster rate. And when you meet other musicians whose skills are more advanced than yours, use that as inspiration. Don't think, "They're better than me. I suck." Think instead, "Wow. If they can do that, I can do it, too!" Then practice so you CAN do it.

[@chia_s_ee_d]

@@elissahunt you’re right, thanks for the advice :)

[@tasmonic]

On competitiveness and teamwork: "Us against the problem, not us against each other"

[@procrastipractice]

"Don't give people practicing unsolicited advice" So true for relationships, Tonic and everywhere else

[@antine1279]

There's actually a sketch by my favourite comedy group (Foil, Arms and Hog) called unsolicited advice. It popped into my head while they were talking about it, I recommend it for a good laugh

[@procrastipractice]

@@antine1279Thank you for the tip!

[@baldwinangel1218]

What's attractive is someone who is engaged with their craft/ profession. Like their soul is not dead yet. 😂

[@mime514]

I agree with this 100%, there are few things hotter than a person being really passionate about their interests! Not just in romantic relationships, but I adore listening to people talk about what interests them, even if I wouldn’t give a shit otherwise about that subject. It’s a joy learning from passionate people and conversations that are an outlet for that passion have such a strong grip on me :0

[@naomitiefenbrunn2857]

My dad told me once that all his past girlfriends did not manage to understand his dedication to practicing for hours each day and they all got super jealous. And then my mom came long (she's a pianist), and she was the only one who understood :)

[@whatever2045]

Your dad sounds like a luthier

[@sabrinai]

17:20 "not even that! Tips is too much!"😂😂😂😂 Brett's so wise!

[@antine1279]

Yeah he is very good at finding that fine line

[@ViolinWithKids]

“Practice celebrating others” literally so good and so important to practice using our thoughts rather than our thoughts using us. Thanks for a great chat!

[@user-jo2gg2dl1m]

*Tonic has joined the chat*

[@Irishlassmm2]

Brett hit it on the head with "emotional maturity"

[@lianaprokopchuk8313]

Twoset Therapy

[@tea_and_music]

I‘m not a musician but I found myself constantly nodding because everything you said just applies to other professions as well that require some sort of constant learning.

[@sabrinai]

Brett having practiced to be happy for others is soooo epic in my eyes! Personal growth is so difficult and requires time and practice as well and also requires you to acknowledge your flaw in the first place, which can hurt and can be very difficult. Brett facing that is proof of his mature personality and character.

[@user-hz6sf2if4h]

Not just Brett, It's Brett and Eddy. They are the best role model. They have been practicing having genuine joy for success for each other.

[@Follower77710]

Gotcha internet-person

[@KitagumaIgen]

Envy - In my early 20s I got injured as a runner while one of my mates really took off, and I was so envious of him competing so great - but only in the sense that "I wish I could run like that", and never in the sense "he shouldn't run that well when I cannot", I was properly happy and proud of his success. That, I think, is an important distinction to learn, "envy" in the sense "I want too..." is OK (maybe even good), but "envy" meaning "he shouldn't either..." is very very bad.

[@kristintripp967]

Been married almost 25 years. This is actually all really solid advice for any relationship!

[@Koffee-os2mi]

“being good at your instrument makes you attractive” 100% YES i was at all state and was practically drooling over the concertmaster because he was so good

[@JeremiahGoodwin-sc8li]

In the end, it's important why you're playing. If you are playing to be better than everyone, you will never be happy because there will always be someone better than you. You'll be happiest if you learn to play to make music. You're literally making an inanimate object sing. Be proud.

[@desirieroselopena6748]

EDIT: We broke up. Listen to TwoSet guys. Focus on PRACTICE. LOVE ISN'T REAL. As a pianist who has been in a relationship with someone for 6 years, I can see that you guys are really making valid points with this one. To date a non-musician means them not understanding how much your instrument and musical time means to you. While dating someone who plays the same instrument as you can come off as competitive. I think it's safer if you date someone who is a musician but they play a different instrument than you. In that way they'd have a high level of understanding as to why music is so important to you, at the same time they don't view you as a competition because the two of you have different expertise in terms of musical instruments. I could actually relate to this in some way because I'm a pianist and I'm dating someone who doesn't play the piano but has knowledge about music theory and musical compositions (he composes hymns). So he doesn't view me as a competition. In fact, he encourages me whenever I practice and he'd give me constructive criticisms along the way. When dating musicians, it really takes two to tango. The two of you have to understand each other without treating each other as competition.

[@steffilomi9328]

I don't think it's necessarily the way that non musicians can't understand can't understand the importance and dedication of practice. They just need to understand it's a hard job which requires a hard work day as any other interesting job. And sometimes some extra hours to give it the last touch. Same as in any other job where you have projects/product /patients etc. To understand that means you respect your partner and his/her work. Many others, with different professions have the same problems (partners don't understand shifts/weekend work etc.)

[@antine1279]

I agree with the above comment. There are other "untypical", not 9-5 professions. What matters is that you are able to express clearly and the other person is willing to listen and understand. If it works for both sides, I don't see a problem

[@winter-wb7cf]

I personally agree as a musician dating another musician. We both play the same instrument though! I’m a teacher over a performer, while he is the opposite. That allows us to not have that competition. Luckily for me because he is wayyyyy better than me. We have both experienced dating people who don’t understand our need for practice to succeed (my ex even was a non-professional musician and didn’t get it). I’m the first musician he has dated, and he expressed how relieved he was that I understand him. We do just make sense together though, so I probably would understand him without being a musician. I don’t think I know a married musician (including ALL of my professors at uni) who isn’t married to another musician though now that I think about it

[@shevontea]

i honestly could never date a non-musician, like my instrument means so much to me and it feels like if someone wasn’t a musician they wouldn’t understand why i need to practice a lot. plus i need someone to do duets with lol!

[@christianlesniak]

There's a Buddhist practice called "Mudita", of wishing sympathetic joy to others, and it's practiced as an antidote to envy. It can be very useful to consciously cultivate an attitude of wishing others success (even wishing it for oneself), similarly to having a Metta practice.

[@jow3439]

My favourite content so far. Unintentional flexing of wisdom 🤭. But that advice of "Practice being happy for others" is 100% accurate. You never know how hard that practice is until you do it.

[@muistijaljet]

This podcast is filling my void of listening you two nerd out on classical music on the main channel. It's just really enjoyable to listen to you two talking to each other.

[@josephineraeburn5809]

100% agree with you.

[@chia_s_ee_d]

PLEASE BRING HILARY AND JANINE ONTO THE PODCAST!!! I know it would be very very hard tho ❤

[@sabrinai]

18:06 there's the message and the messanger! Eddy's wisdom just keeps to amaze me!

[@gimletrose1985]

I know!!! He's so wise

[@SunChan29]

Musician or Non Musician... Ultimately it boils down to the individuals. I have seen people from the same field grow together. And also I have seen siblings pulling each other down. So I agree hard with the emotional maturity part.

[@antine1279]

When Eddy said "if you're not the teacher, maybe you should just shut up", it reminded me of several of my ex partners who have told me they've learned that, when a woman complains, you should just shut up and listen because they don't want you to give them a solution, they want to feel like they can vent and have someone just listen. (As a woman, yes, that's what we need, and I always thought that was obvious.) They've all also said they learned that lesson the hard way. I can see Eddy had some similar experiences xD I think a smart man learns this by their mid-late twenties

[@anniebananie3421]

The best point made in this video is that practice is not just for musical skills. I'm glad they pointed out that feelings like jealousy can hit anybody, but the difference between somebody who chooses to behave jealously and somebody who chooses to be gracious is often practice. I tell the people I work and live with that a close knit community doesn't just happen by default. It takes sincere effort and hard work by each person in the community to make it work. Being good and kind is not easy, and doesn't always feel natural. But working at it consciously will have results. And like with music, the harder the work that was put in, the more effortless and beautiful the final gift will be.

[@kaylanoel2011]

If you can advice slowly you can advice quickly

[@jodietypn]

As you said in your 1st podcast, Brett is in charge of the logistics stuff while Eddy is in charge of the creative stuff. Can you make an episode and talk more about the creativity preparation for tours/content, where to find the resources/inspiration, whether Eddy has to persuade Brett to follow his ideas etc.?

[@brothercuber3288]

Babe wake up, new twoset talks episode dropped

[@eiralinnea]

This episode hits on TRUTH. Being happy for someone can only either be neutral or make a positive impact in the friendship/relationship, but being a dick about someone else's success ruins their vibe and eventually, your own as well. Letting envy consume you and letting it dictate your actions is destructive to also your own well-being, you're not being the best version of yourself. Also, I think it's important to at least sometimes go see the other perform. It means *so much* to me when any of my friends come and see my choir! I also try to go see my friends perform when I can. And I'd imagine it would become a bit of an issue if your partner never ever comes to see you in anything you do, even if they had time. You start wondering if they're truly that busy, or if they think your music sucks, or if they're just envious you are performing and not them. :/

[@DavidPerez-pi1iy]

Just my own perspective. I started dating a girl in my studio during my first year. She was in her third year, and is a lot more musically advanced than I am. I never though, “ Oh I wish I was better than her. Ah! I’m so intimidated!” I’m just glad that I can hear her play. It’s so inspiring! We both have our own unique musical instincts. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of standing behind her in the organ loft, turning her pages ;)

[@sisidiam1096]

On the talk of envy: Sometimes when you re jealous for a person's situation they might be jealous of you for your situtation, because humans tend to want what they dont have. Example: i had a friend (around middle school) and I once told them that I was super jealous of them because they had their own room and didn't have to share, and they replied that they were jealous of me because i had to share with my siblings while theirs had moved out. A more recent example: I whine to my friend from music school that their university offers a lot more opportunities for extra credits than mine, and they whine to me that they dont have time to practice their instument like I do (how we met) because of that. I guess the take away here is be grateful for what you have while using others people achievements to motivate your own :)

[@user-hl4kk8wd3k]

@22 min. They really describe their own friendship to a tee!! Eddy says that if both persons in a relationship are musicians you can help each other reach your goals...you have to be a team, the moment you are competing it's "Game Over". Brett then said if you are helping each other, your improvements will be exponential. You have a constant pair of ears, to listen out for you. Just imagine the amount of feedback you can get at a rapid rate. There's someone there for you 24/7. It's a huge advantage!

[@gracelaw6929]

Feels like this is not only a phenomenon within the music circle, but also maybe some other industries like finance or legal etc. where status and performance matters and competition is vast with limited positions and spots available. But in reality, it is difficult to find a person who genuinely feels happy to your success when by nature they are competitors in the same field. I can't imagine how bad it feels if your partner becomes a world class musician meanwhile you can't even get into an orchestra (maybe exaggerating but yea)

[@antine1279]

Fantastic advice. As someone your age who is not a musician, I've experienced so much of what you're talking about in past relationships. It's not music-specific, it's human and people's stuff comes up in relationships A LOT. It's definitely a tricky area to navigate and requires a lot of self-honesty and introspection. The women you end up with will be very lucky!

[@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch]

Should I be concerned I actually clicked on this because I trust these two for dating advice??

[@cecilia7259]

No, don't be concerned. I was the same, thinking, you guys sure you have expertise in this area? Then clicked on it right away anyway 😅

[@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch]

@@cecilia7259 we can be worried together :)

[@josephineraeburn5809]

These boys Brett and Eddy speak words of wisdom. In some of their videos, they may joke and act crazy but in serious videos like this, you will find precious gems in their nerding, feels like being enlightened. Twoset brett and eddy are wiser beyond their years. Really.

[@chia_s_ee_d]

So the solution is ………. JUST GO PRACTICE!!!!!!!

[@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch]

hey chia seed i need help should i play viola or violin :)

[@chia_s_ee_d]

@@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch do u want a job in orchestra and be made fun of? If not play violin if so play viola :)

[@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch]

@@chia_s_ee_d idk what to do because i can either audition for my first orchestra as a violist or a violinist but everyone wants me to be a violist because there are prodigies lol thanks :)

[@igrutinovicana]

​@@IluvtwosetandwatchtoomuchChoose what you truly want! Listen to some pieces of both, the viola can be a beautiful instrument with a rich sound, it's definitely not all bad.. also, less competition lol

[@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch]

@@igrutinovicana thanks :) yeah definitely less competition where I am lol I will now listen to the best viola concertos and we'll see what I decide lol Thank you!!! 💕💕

[@maricello_m442]

I can tell: yes, as musician marring another musician could be an enrichment to each other. Sadly we had all the problems the twoset said: I felt oppressed, cause my husband always wanted to give me advices, even after i said, I would like to hear that from my teacher and when I became successful (and more successful as he) he began to hurt me much more and finally he left me... I think this is only one part. I wish, to know this advices 10 years ago!

[@rae_halvi6392]

they really shared useful stuff here. not just for romantic relationship. this can be applied in a family, friends, or even in workplace. so nice. ❤️

[@fatimaestinzo6139]

damn, reminds me of pianist Yuja Wang and Klaus Makela's recent breakup and cancelling concerts here and there. 😬

[@ducks5377]

ik i was about to comment this! i was abt to go to their concert in chicago! its a bit of a shame

[@fatimaestinzo6139]

​@@ducks5377 yea, like damn. how can they be that bitter against each other. :( sad for them though. also sad for the orchestra/audience who expected for them to come over.

[@ducks5377]

@@fatimaestinzo6139 i mean it's sad for them but at the same time a lot of ppl we waiting for them- i had a friend who booked a flight and was already in the hotel when the cancellation was announced i get break ups are hard but it's also their jobs 😬

[@fatimaestinzo6139]

​​@@ducks5377 true. i've heard stories like that. could've been better if they [Yuja and Makela] just act civil/professional towards it.

[@ducks5377]

@@fatimaestinzo6139 i agree! the whole situation is just kind of strange 🫤

[@maurmi]

Great advice, Twoset! Your maturity is impressive - from a fan almost twice your age

[@alicja.kinga91]

Why are their voices so comforting 😌 I’m just sitting here on a cold rainy day watching this and feeling so relaxed 🙈 thank you for a great conversation!

[@maygel]

twosetdads our tiktok attention span can't handle this 20 something minute podcast episode i think we need t go back to the longer 50 minute podcast eps pleasepleaseplease!

[@TheMissKittey]

Fun fact: My parents basically started dating because my dad is a musician 🎶💘🎶 They grew up in the same small town, so they kinda knew each other, but not very closely. My dad already had his eye on my mom for a while, but she wasn’t interested in him like that (yet). Well, all of that changed when they both joined the local church choir. At first, my dad was just one of the singers, but because he was able to play organ he eventually became the choir's accompanist. Seeing him play the organ completely shifted my mom's perspective on him. She was mesmerized by his playing; fascinated by his abilities on such a complex instrument. My mom said she "started to see him in a different light.“✨ Eventually they started going out, and the rest history. 🥰 Growing up my mum often told me she "fell in love with his way of making music“ 😍🎶which I think is just beautiful. They have been together for over 40 years and counting.❤ If this is not the ultimate motivation to "GO PRACTICE!" I don’t know what is! 😉

[@baseballbatbadass321]

Somewhere down the line, they are talking about themselves. Anyway i totally agree. In a relationship - any relationship, you and ur partner should see urself as a unit, rather than a separate entity. It won't work otherwise - if it happens, just move on.

[@e2pii213]

Definitely they were sharing their own experiences. They were asked so many times in interviews, Q&E sessions about how they solve problems, avoid competitiveness etc. - they always gave similar/identical advices they gave here.

[@paulacoyle5685]

18:39 the thing about the mother who is the pianist, yes, my dad and all of the other pianists in the area taught each other’s kids because they had a rule that you just don’t teach your own kids, it’s very difficult. Although he did teach me.

[@antine1279]

It makes sense though, you're stepping into a different role, from parent to teacher and the dynamics is different. I remember when my mum tried to tutor me in math - it was a disaster. I didn't "respect" her as a teacher. Yet it was easy when someone else was explaining it to me

[@imsamduh]

"We made all the mistakes so you dont have to!" But I'll still manage to make all mistakes possible!! :)

[@keyyotcake]

It actually sounds so general it can be took on any major in uni haha thanks a lot for your advice, it actually made lot sense 💛💛

[@RiceLilyMeadows]

Same could be said about other art fields. The competitiveness, the jealousy, etc. I’ve dated both a musician and an artist. The musician dumped me because his ambitions outgrew our relationship. He was a really strong flautist and I admired him for it; even asked for his help a few times but there were other things that were my realm like drawing ✍️

[@kokod2736]

I recall an OLD TSV episode (at least 6 years ago) where they said they don't fight when they have different opinions, that they talk things out. Looks like they are still practicing doing it.

[@zarakoda]

Really appreciated the discussion on knee-jerk envy reactions and countering it with practicing joy for someone else / staying within your role. It hit the nail on things I need to work on, and provided a new angle by which I can grow myself and get better. Thanks for these podcasts. The serious, long-form talks are a great addition to your content.

[@agatafurczyk9149]

"One of the chosen few" who made it to the end, here 👋 but I'm older than you, so I guess I wouldn't have an excuse for a too short attention span 😆 I agree with what you said. And, like everything else, relationships of all kinds - to be good - require practice! 😊 I think that people sometimes break ties with someone more succesfull, not because of envy, but because they begin to think: 'What can I possibly do for them? They don't need me anymore. They must think I'm a looser...' Overcoming such an obstacle is possible only if both sides want it and communicate it. Otherwise, everyone just ends up acting based on their - possibly wrong - assumptions.

[@chia_s_ee_d]

I think it’s good to have friends in and out of music so you get the best of both worlds!!!

[@Smilepiien]

I have experienced the "Suddenly finding out who your real friends are." in failure instead. I got diagnosed with Bipolar and when I opened up about it my friends from school just didn't know how to be normal around me. The way we interact in the friendship should not change, even if one person is experiencing failure or success. It felt really weird how they suddenly change their behavior towards me and it also really hurt that during my hardship that was the moment they decided to leave. I imagine this hurts the same way that when you finally succeed that is the time they decide to leave you.

[@claudiabarajas2106]

This episode was amazingly insightful not only to dating just in managing all kinds of relationships. I love how intune both Eddy and Brett about their self and emotional awareness. This was such a great episode. ❤❤❤

[@clara_c930]

thank you for mentioning that envy like you said applies in romantic as well as other relationships, can become so toxic that not only it ruins the relationship, but also brings both people down. It is so important to keep an eye out for this, to be able to recognise when it pops up, not act on it, and think and act with a cool head that benefits everyone. edit: can we have twosettalks on apple podcasts please? 🙏

[@ofkgjsl]

I didnt know this channel existed! Love the calm vibe and more serious podcast format. I‘d love to know what their opinion is on all things mundane, because those guys are super wise, sophisticated souls, yet so relatable and human with all their emotions and struggles in life as all of us millenials kinda are. Would also love to hear more on mental health, relationships, dating, performance pressure, Asian pressure of society, western culture and mentality through classical music etc, so many topics.

[@e2pii213]

While waiting for more new episodes, may I recommend one from Brett's old podcast channel? 'Music- Bretty Bang Show-Episode 6 - How to Stay Motivated and Overcome the Fear of Judgement.' Another gold: 'Inside the Mind of Hilary Hahn' - a 90 min(!!!) talk with Hillary.

[@SoundEngraver]

I'm in music, and I'm glad I didn't marry a musician. I'm happy to be in a separate profession from my husband. Great video, Twoset. Your advice from professional experience is invaluable.

[@mlilac]

I'm just blown away by how mature and wise those two are at such a young age

[@ieeerr.]

I would love to see an episode about everything tour related, the planning, logistics, but also the script writing, script learning, music related decisions, practice, stage design, outfit choices. All that good stuff. 😍

[@chia_s_ee_d]

The planning and logistics are kinda in the first episode!!😊

[@ieeerr.]

@@chia_s_ee_d True! I guess I mostly meant stuff like deciding on where to go and when, and that puzzle of how to make it fit with enough rest days in between, if that makes sense. 🙈

[@chia_s_ee_d]

@@ieeerr. ahhh yes, I agree!!!

[@mariavidineeva2524]

Even though I'm not a musician this was realy helpful and insightful! I do struggle with envy sometimes and it's great how you give advice for this situation while highlighting that you shouldn't blame yourself for feeling it. Thank you guys your podcast it always makes me so happy

[@ZiaElohka]

So the secret of your succes is, besides being multitalented, your friendship.

[@knettle6743]

I wish these talks had subtitles 🥺😅 A very interesting topic, you can think about it and apply it in your private life having nothing to do with music, just for the growth of any common healthy relationship or friendship. Their emotional maturity and level of culture are just impressive 👏🏼

[@cookingmusician]

Yep, it’s a challenge…! I met my now husband the first day of music college and we’ve been married 27 years now. Most of the time we are filled with joy at each others success, but when you’re having a dip in your own playing or your own achievements, it’s something that is harder to feel… and it’s also important to keep communicating with each other about your own self-doubt, etc, so you can be a support to each other. One persons success doesn’t mean the other persons failure, but it feels like it sometimes with that comparison and envy going on in our mind, often subconsciously!

[@kj62431]

My first relationship was another musician. I came out of it vowing never again. Then there was the guy who knew nothing about music and could not even clap in time. I came out of it vowing never again. There is a happy medium there. And as far as ego goes, you have to have some ego to put yourself out like we do to an audience.

[@TheClorifolio]

I came here to gossip and left with a life-lasting lesson...thanks so much Brett and Eddy 💕💕

[@carolinesaintdenis]

"a lot of ego involved" - understatement of the century ! 😅

[@lozzawazhere]

Please actually upload these eps to Spotify and Apple Podcasts!!!! Need your dulcet tones for audio only listening in the car 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@heitron81]

13:13 I am not a musician but that has happened to me. I am trying to find a place in this world after re-starting life in my 40s. I had sacrificed my dreams and ambitions to please the man I loved who could not stand me being successful or even happy.

[@JacquiCuff]

Y not on Spotify 😢 ono one episode!!! But also, I love hearing your guys banter so this is a welcome podcast to add to my list! Thank you!

[@chia_s_ee_d]

Brett and Eddy lookin real good today!!!!

[@mai4717]

I mean, im not a musician, but even in uni, i get competitive when my friend got higher grades. But its not a malicious envy, its just a trigger for me to study harder. Its a positive competition, but we are still friends and close to each other.

[@oongaboongagang]

How Eddy said "Love" made me slightly smile~~~ 😍😍😍😌

[@oceanicGrimalkin]

16:01 That kind of mindset is also called "crab mentality" in some places like my country. Crabs in a bucket pull each other down in competition to ascend.

[@oceanicGrimalkin]

@@handlenot030 It's basically the same thing- pulling others down to your level out of envy because of their success.

[@elaine378]

Brett knowing that the correct term is “unconsciously” not “subconsciously” makes me so happy lol

[@chaotic_violist]

I’m disappointed they didn’t give any advice about what to do if you travel back in time and fall in love with Tchaikovsky while you’re trying to save classical music…we know that Brett has experience with that from the virtual world tour lol. It would be VERY realistic and useful advice.

[@mariavidineeva2524]

Lolllll that would be very useful for sure especially with all Brett's experience Also I love your username!

[@selgeaus]

My wife thought I was gay and safe to hang out because I was studying music composition when we first met. That was 25 years ago.

[@chia_s_ee_d]

I think I’ve also gotten better at being happier for people by just trying to block out everything else. Bonus if you’re close friends❤

[@peterhickey876]

Very heartwarming and sincere. I have tremendous respect for you both.

[@rebeccang4331]

my mother finally won a grammy award .screw her. i cant 🤣😂🤣😂

[@chia_s_ee_d]

maybe it’d be a bit easier dating from different music families (eg string dating wind) idk tho

[@Swishyhead]

That tracks! It's not quite the same, but my sister and her husband are both lawyers, but in completely different types of law. They have enough background in law to be great sounding boards for each other while also never getting jealous, since their careers are so dissimilar.

[@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch]

i guess that's why there are different musical haha

[@km2549]

I think that this is my favorite podcast so far! I loved all the points that you guys made here. Envy can be so ugly and drive people away, but I like how you guys put it to where you are not making people feel guilty for feeling it and giving tips for how to overcome it! This was a very informative and fun episode and I can't wait for the next one! 😁 P.S The comment about how being good at your instrument makes you more attractive is so true. I have seen this, especially being someone who plays an instrument myself.

[@krpzsvrm]

24:34 Gen z here! Guys I listen fricking 1,5 hours long symphonies of course i am gonna watch 25 min video of yours :D

[@chia_s_ee_d]

Smeeeee

[@user-Lauriionss]

At the end of the day, it all just comes down to practice!! I agree with whatever they said bc at the end of the day a healthy relationship/friendship is just being each other's rock, a stepping stone, or a steady support you can lean on when things get tiring. It's all a learning process, and it's totally normal and okay to feel envy towards your friend, but how you respond to the emotion is the most important. Do you push it down and share the joy, or do you bring the other party down instead? The best part of being in a relationship/friendship is to share the happiness, excitement, sadness, frustration and pain. It all just comes down to seeking to understand the other party and working well together 💗💗 (e.g. our favourite violin duo)

[@Iluvtwosetandwatchtoomuch]

9:59 as a perfect pitcher, the f# being sharp is so relatable lol

[@sabrinai]

They probably won't read this but you guys look fiiiiineeeeeeeeeee in this podcast!

[@feli__23]

For another episode I would love to hear a bit more about the Wolrd Tour (apart from all the organization stuff). Which city was your favorite until now? Where did you play for the biggest audience? Which concert hall was the best? Which city/country was the friendliest? Furthermore it would also be interesting to know how you met Sophie?

[@hydrogen3266]

My first year at music college, I was very naive. I made some friends, and one friendship became more than that. He told me we had to keep everything a secret bc his ex girlfriend was also a music major at this school, and that she’d be upset and would hate me if she knew. However, I soon realized that he was just using me for attention while he warmed her back up to the idea of getting back together, and he didn’t want her to know that he had a side piece. After 4 months of me letting him treat me like this, he left me for her, and I was devastated. I had to still keep quiet about it, but she did eventually find out. That relationship was such a toxic mess, and I wish I’d just kept to myself and practiced instead

[@ciara7084]

I was in the talking stages with a guy a couple of months back, we weren't dating.. just talking 😭 for reference I'm a pianist who focuses more on teaching and he tends to focus on gigs. I was learning a new piece and when I told him (after like a week or 2 of knowing e/o mind you) he was like "oh that piece? I learned it like 4 years ago. i can help you. I can teach the teacher lol" it's fair to say we never got past the talking stages and I ghosted him like a day later 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 he proceeded to text me again like a week later like "was it something I said" like hm I wonder 🤔

[@chia_s_ee_d]

This channel deserves way more recognition!!!!!❤

[@cricketcupid]

OH MY GOD 2 TWOSET TALKS IN ONE MONTHS?????????????????????

[@perfectheart7010]

IT'S A MIRACLE FROM LING LING THEMSELF!!

[@elizavetatihonova]

We are blessed!

[@antoninapyzik9200]

Unfortunetely, I couldn't find the podcast on Spotify, even though it's marked in descriptions as avalaible - it would be more convenient.

[@sandakinskywalker3128]

There’s definitely a musician dating trope where soloists will marry their managers. Often works fine for a few years, but then the soloists feel like they’re being micromanaged by their partner and both end up miserable via lack of boundaries or get a divorce.

[@chia_s_ee_d]

oh dang, thats new information for me

[@Isabel44Meridian]

My mom does not have a musical bone in her body. My dad is a talented amateur musician who practices A LOT, like easily 4-6 hours a day in the house. He can practice the same chord progression a hundred times and she will not even notice. There have been times at gigs when she asked him when he learned a song--one that he'd been practicing for months. It's not the only reason for a happy relationship, but it definitely sidesteps the possibility of conflict. They have other musician + non-musician couple friends who say the same thing.

[@perseus31]

I think competitive relationship with your friends or a loved one is great as long as you have emotional maturity. Your friend or your lover can push you to the top with advice or practise sessions together. When one of you start to loose the passion other one can inspire to gain passion. As long as you don't see them as your opponent, thesituation would help both sides and make them happy.