Relationships in the Philippines/Have Expats Abandoned Family?

Relationships in the Philippines/Have Expats Abandoned Family?‪@paulinthephilippinesolddog9234‬ I explore the subject of leaving family behind as we begin our new live overseas

[@rayrunn9441]

Agreed with your commentary completely. I’m 71 tomorrow. I came to the Philippines in September and married my LDR girlfriend. The I came here is because I didn’t want to be alone. When I was in the states I lived and worked in SC. None of my kids or grandkids visited me. Ogaden to drive to BA or PA to visit them. They were all too busy. They were making and living there own life. Too busy for me. My biggest fear was dying alone. Nobody would find me for a month. I wanted to be with someone. I didn’t their permission I just told them I was going. I’ll return to visit but why stay there and die alone! Anyway. Good video OD. 😊

[@tuforu4]

Your very CHEERFUL.

[@Dave-tt5ne]

I can so identify with that

[@fendermon]

You did the right thing. Good luck @Ray

[@philipcooper3330]

Good for you. You did make a good decision, now live life to its fullest and enjoy your surroundings!

[@davidwarrilow7083]

Congratulations, Ray, on your good fortune. Dying isn't even the issue. Every day having someone to love and share life with is far more valuable than any number of days being unloved and alone.

[@forestraven5271]

Hi Paul I’m glad you put this out . I became a single dad at 26 with two boys, I’m 70 next month. I was going to move there 24years ago after the youngest finish high school. Now that I’ve been part of their life and grandkids life I’ve got my homestead up for sell . I’ve sol all my furniture or gave it away. My sons were in dismay of my plans on moving to the Philippines. I didn’t think they would feel that bad . They both are doing fine. I told them I was planning on doing this but put it off to be a part of their kids lives . I’m in pretty good shape because I was active, after a 13 hr day I would either mtn bike or hike 11 miles ea day or surfing or gym . My doctor thought I was in my forties . Money wise I’ve put $200 away ea. Week 35 years ago till I retired , plus I’m getting a large settlement and money from my property I’ll be set . I’m going to give Philippines a try . Thank you

[@davidnordella7408]

Child support is never enough. Children need their fathers. Adult children can love their fathers but will form their own lives. Thank you for opening this conversation, Paul.

[@henrygarcia2159]

I felt like breaking down and cry on this topic. It's Thanksgiving week and it's just so horrible not having the food, cold weather, family and friends , it's so hard. I'm in Leyte and I'm just think about it as just another day. Kids are gone, the "Ole lady is gone so now I'm an expat away from home . Just stay strong everyone and let's make the best out of these holidays. Happy Holidays let's just be happy with our new life. cheers!

[@Brandi6666]

So

[@philipcooper3330]

Hang in there Henry and make the best of it. You’ve got your memories to hold on to!

[@danielhuntington2116]

Hi Henry...hang in there. Maybe step out and treat yourself while saying hi to and engaging others. All the best.

[@joesphavery3183]

Happy Thanksgiving to you also.

[@henrygarcia2159]

@@joesphavery3183 I really wish you great happiness and great meals that bring you closer to the ones who care for you . Everything is wonderful, Happy Thanksgiving.... "pass the potatoes and biscuits please" 😊

[@keith4826]

I raised a daughter from a different father. Got custody of my own daughter at 13…. Long story…. Fed them…. Housed them…. Clothed them…. Tried to send them to college but they would have none of that. After more than 20 + years of parenting and Grandparenting…. I did not ask permission to move abroad. I gave more than I got…. They did not want what else I was trying to offer….. It’s officially my fu(k1n’ time

[@tonyste12]

you did a lot, it's time for you to try and enjoy life, before it's to late and from you are saying, no one appreciates what you did or will be there for you?

[@Matthew-gz4oh]

Best 13 minutes I could have on your couch Dr. Paul. Well done, and thanks and better price than my shrink. :-)

[@ralphmossor3160]

I spent two months in the Philippines this year and wish I had done it years ago...an eye opener in so many ways!!!!

[@jimmygorgiev9379]

I like your videos when you sit by yourself and gab in front of the camera. You know how to connect with people with honest discussions and good candor. You seem to break your stride when you have other people on it, or even your girlfriend. When you are by yourself and start speaking and you get into the zone with some interesting topics I watch right thru to the end. That’s just my opinion. This was an interesting topic.

[@todd7756]

Agree with that, not that the others are bad.

[@mojomojo5779]

We have a similar story. Marriage was maddening. As crazy as it sounds, divorcing and moving to the Philippines saved my life

[@TheDocFury]

I also was there for my children till they moved away to live their own lives. Different situation as they were and are manipulated by my toxic ex. 20 years of dedication to my children who’s only response to me moving and being married to a Filipina was very uncaring and hurtful. I’ve not talked to them in years. Painful, yes, but they’re adults and live by their choices.

[@Pietro-ug8io]

Paul you uttered 13 minutes of wisdom through experience. I can relate because my story is very similar to yours. It’s unfortunate that many men especially in the states cannot or will not take that “leap of faith” step to enhance the twilight years of their lives. Very sad.

[@mypov4343]

Two of my three daughters went with me last time I was in the Philippines. They loved it as much as I did! I know the Philippines is going to be in all of our futures.

[@mindorokano]

My oldest (49) wrote me off feels I abandoned him directly, my youngest (39) supported me 100%. The guilt from the oldest and the Ex are still present.

[@Abelius]

Man, I'm two years younger than your oldest! There's no reason for you feeling guilty at all, and he should look inside for why he feels bad about his dad trying to be happy. Maybe he should accompany you instead, and touch grass.

[@travellolo]

I am 54, I have a 23 year old daughter and a 27 year old son. My children support my decision because they want their father healthy and happy. You only owe your children love and to teach them to be independent. Maybe your oldest in not independent.

[@tonyste12]

@@Abelius some times 'kids' are selfish and maybe are afraid if their father finds someone else, they will lose any inheritance, if there is any?

[@iangibson8703]

Well done Paul. You make so much sense to me. I am divorced and have been lucky enough to have been a single father of 4 kids. Still have a daughter at home. I would desperately love to come to the Philippines, meet a lovely lady and start again. Firstly I need to see through my responsibilities with my daughter. If in 2 years it is all good then I will move there with my children’s blessing. Meanwhile I am building a second online business to ensure any move there can be comfortable and financially secure. Thanks mate every time I hear you I feel like we see a lot of things in common and if I am always wrong I know I’m not the only crazy bastard out there😂

[@alsmidlifecrisis8765]

my mother still accuses me of abandoning my son even tho I raised him alone untill he was 20, left him with a free house to live in and cars to drive. Plus he is happy for me. people will never understand and use it against you for their own failings

[@papabear007]

Well said my daughter said the other day dad why don’t you rent your home and go to the philippines for awhile see if you really want to live there . Felt good I mentioned this a year ago but was worried she get hurt . She’s 33 but felt good to hear it

[@plantworks100]

Hey Paul my dear friend, my family back in Arlington Virginia, definitely supported me in my move to the Philippines. My two children are fully grown and have been on their own path for more than 12 years. I only had one family member that said to me that, I'm making a big mistake moving to the Philippines. This family member has always been jealous of my success in business. I talk to my family at least once a month. Unfortunately, my parents are no longer on this earth. But they are in a much better place with God. Paul, I will tell you, moving to the Philippines was one of the best decisions that I have ever made in my life. I'm married to what I feel, the most beautiful and wonderful, and caring Filipina woman that I could have ever married. I wake up every morning loving life. Thank you Paul my dear friend for sharing this awesome video. Please stay safe and healthy, and God bless you, Baby Mae, Riza, Jennifer, and the rest of your beautiful family.😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[@philipcooper3330]

Paul, outstanding video today, very thought provocative and thought out. By the looks of your comments, it stirred a lot of emotions up. That’s a good thing. I hope your doing well, take care!

[@tomsphilippineadventures7935]

I faced this dilemma with my own children, all who have productive careers and families of their own. I raised them to the best of my ability and love them dearly. When I told my daughter-in-law my plans, she was adamantly opposed to it, arguing that my grandchildren would be devastated; mind you, I rarely if ever saw them, but when I sold my house, she invited me into their home so the grandchildren could bond with their grandfather before he left. Fast forward to six months later when I had to return to the US for surgery, and I was no longer welcome in their home. My youngest son seemed somewhat agreeable with the idea but, it was pretty obvious that I had become a pariah in their eyes. I will always love them, and that will never change even when I am accused of substituting my girlfriend's child in favor over them. Have I felt guilty? yes, but after having received such a cool reception upon my arrival home and this timely video, much less so.

[@eriksundstrom6826]

Have you returned to the Philippines?

[@eriksundstrom6826]

I know those family circumstances are hard. But, it sounds like you have a loving Filipino family that appreciates you! Yeah! Take care.

[@eriksundstrom6826]

Those family circumstances can be really hard, after a lifetime of loving in people. But, it sounds like you have a loving Filipino family! Yeah! Take care.

[@andreww3621]

Not welcomed in their home? Your daughter in law is a bitch and your son is a cuck for allowing that to happen. I wonder who plows who🤡

[@bobbyvee8941]

I'm 73. I sold my company in NC and moved back to Georgia at my daughters request so she could, " look after me" as I aged. I have been here 6 years now, and saw her more often when I lived in NC than I have here, 8 miles away!! I'm taking a close look at options as my New Years resolution.

[@tallbarberFL]

Another great video Paul. Keep up the great content sir.

[@JAYY_JAYY]

My personal belief is you should never leave the country if your kids are not yet adults. I know there are some KZbinrs who have done just that . I understand the court system may not be in the man’s favor . I would do whatever needed to be done to be involved in my child’s life until 18 .

[@bannertraveller5879]

Philippine KZbinr Tim K did. His boy is very resentful from what he posted.

[@GBU61]

My daughter got pregnant and had a child at 17, completely against everything I taught. I told her if I stay, I will become a crutch and not allow her to accept and understand the huge responsibility she assumed, despite not being ready for it. I left two months before she turned 18. She moved in with her mother, then got her own place about a year later. She is now in her early 20s and admitted to me that my decision was best for her. Each decision is unique and depending on the situation, leaving is best for everyone. Mine worked out because I knew my daughter but she was almost 18 anyway.

[@valeriek5020]

@@bannertraveller5879 Yes, there are a few youtubers that have children under the age of 18. Did they actually abandon them. Are they supporting their children financially. Then they marry a woman with a child/children............just does not make sense.

[@jamesdehart442]

I agree with everything you said. But I really enjoyed reading the comments they were educational. My grown kids won’t talk to me at all but it’s ok after 50 years of working I’m going to live for myself for once.

[@dumatanjay2097]

Yup, live your life...it's OK for sure. Some of my family think I'm disgusting for not choosing a western girl and/or that's within 10 year age gap. Ha, well, I don't loose any sleep over it.

[@youngandfree93]

@@dumatanjay2097 some Asians even here too can be judgemental with age gap and laugh and snicker about it. It is what it is and will have to feel comfortable with it if you're with someone so young.

[@man4YAWEH454]

I would still keep trying to talk to them.

[@stevenleduc7381]

My mom died during the height of Covid. Going to see her before she died would have meant leaving my family in Thailand with uncertainty of returning. She agreed with my decision, but I always regret it.

[@MyLifeThai371]

A 28 year old German woman I met was going to college in California. She got the call that her mom was sick. She flew back to see her and was with her for her death. The u.s.a. would not let her return and she had to hire and immigration lawer. She kind of hates the U.S.A. government now.

[@ryanschwartz9607]

@@MyLifeThai371 "The law is an ass" Charles Dickens

[@MyLifeThai371]

@@ryanschwartz9607 I think Thailand has the same laws as the U.S.A. If you are teaching at a public school, with an education visa, if you leave, you need to apply for a completely new education visa to go back to work. :(

[@larrysmith8315]

Great Video Paul. I had a similar feeling long ago, but I realised that I had to get on with my life and they doing the same. You only have your kids for a short period of their lives and they have to go and do what they have to do. I regularly came back to Australia and I made the effort to see them, rather than they made the effort to see me. That is life.

[@jean-pierredeslauriers574]

My only child my son is 47 years and is flying on his own wings and doing very good. All he wants for me is to be happy. We keep in touch on FB only. Now it's my time to enjoy life here in the Philippines. Found love and we both starting a new life together to be happy.

[@anthonyadams2222]

Absolutely wonderful video! Great thoughts and ideas! Stay Safe! God Bless!

[@HanginOutWithStan]

Good video Paul. My daughter died in 2014. I am the only one in my family left and never imagined it would end this way. I miss family a lot, especially at holidays.

[@bananapatch9118]

We have 4 daughters and 10 grandkids. We are 55 and 60 and our plan is to move to Mexico in 4 months with our senior dogs, and when they pass away we will take 4-5 years and slow travel from Mexico all the way to the tip of South America. Buenas Aires will be the last stop UNTIL, we fly to SE Asia and bounce around for a few years. By 65 and 70 we should be ready to pick a spot and settle down. Our daughters were born in Nicaragua, all are bilingual, and used to traveling. Because of employment we all live in different states anyway. Florida, Carolinas, Virginia, and Oklahoma….so being a plane ride away in Mexico or Nicaragua or wherever is not a huge deal. They are busy with their lives. We all love each other, but everyone has to live their life ! They can come see us any time.

[@CJHealthyLife]

Really good Paul! I’m going to watch this one again. Appreciate the sound words

[@eriksundstrom6826]

Nice video. Aside from the issue of "abandoning your children", you put in perspective the big picture of our children moving on with their lives.

[@kevinegger9646]

My boys were like yours. Very supportive and happy for me. I also had a hard time with the ex wife during our marriage. My oldest son thanked me for staying with her till they were grown. They knew how hard it was. I'm in contact them almost daily on the internet so it's not as bad being apart.

[@johnscheitlin3647]

Hey Paul: Back in Montana, been here for 2 months and have seen my son (28) twice and have yet to see my daughter (31) who feels I have abandoned her. My son is busy like you said running his own life and taking care of his family. My daughter uses my granddaughter as a tool to try and guilt me to stay and take care of any problems she and her husband may have. My daughter and her family were renting my house while I was there, paying much less than my mortgage for rent. Short of it ( I got screwed). Meanwhile my filipina wife is still in Negros Oriental waiting for me to come back so we can be together when our baby is born. And we are still waiting for her spousal visa to go through so she can travel with me back and forth to US. I would still like to catch up with you and have coffee whenever I get back.

[@sonny8746]

Retiring to the PH in 1yr! Absolutely a great topic!! I asked my son and he was cool with it..I know I will miss my son and grandson's.

[@rickdunaway6867]

Excellent video filled with truths! Of all my grown kids and stepkids, only one has talked to me for many years (look up the Ted Talk on parental alienation for a perfect explanation of my situation). So it became time to make myself happy for a change. And my stepdaughter knows that she is welcome to visit me anytime on a Philippines vacation. Bottom line is that I am the happiest I have ever been.

[@johnbergeron9997]

I tell you Paul that hits home for me in so many ways! You have no clue, but my daughter is no longer with us, it's a hard subject for me

[@koolaidcoastie3940]

Absolutely great video bruh! Thank you

[@scottar3181]

I was getting some pushback from my daughter who is 35 and has her own healthy busy family. So as you said I posed a question; I said you come home tomorrow and no one’s there. All week, same thing. Next week, next month, next year…how would you feel? That’s my life. I have a good life and I love you all, but… Good decision Paul, thanks!

[@fendermon]

Clever 👍(and legit).

[@6foot596]

It's sort of how it is getting old no matter where you are. Pretty sad but such is life. The world favours the younger generation in many ways. My grandpa I remember telling me that 30 years ago. Hasn't seemed to change and I am your daughter's age.

[@tryscience]

Thoughtful video, makes sense. I agree that kids need a father figure in their life, probably a lot of the chaos in the US results from not having this. Kids don't magically end up wonderful, they need love and guidance.

[@leestack]

Wisdom as always, Paul. In 1986 - my visit to Clark AFB changed my life perspective.

[@leroyline2987]

Hi from Thailand Paul, I have 5 kids in America from 2 marriages. All of them are over 20 years of age. Divorce can be hard on relationships my son and youngest daughter I have a great relationship with. The other three girls not so much. That being said my so and daughter had know problems with My move to Thailand. They said it's time for you to find happiness and we're glad for you. I speak with my kids more since I'm here than when I was in America.

[@rayb3000]

Excellent video, excellent topic, excellent views and wisdom. Keep it up Paul!

[@jspice-kl2wc]

You could do videos on that subject forever. Thank you for sharing. 🙂👍👍👍🙏

[@jimmarquus]

Paul , this subject hit home for me . As I have been experiencing the Philippines for the past 2 &1/2 months & loving it here . Being a family oriented guy my whole life & enjoying my 8 grandchildren when possible as they are growing up themselves . I feel guilty at times not being there in the States with them . But as retirement is finally here & my love for the Philippines is real . I will hopefully find a happy medium & enjoy most of my time here in good old Dumaguete & visit the family 3-4 months a year . Time will tell.

[@dumaguetedreaming]

I would imagine that a father's ability to stay in contact with ones children has increased exponentially with streaming technology. If we did decide to stay in the PI I got their digits.

[@garyburgmylifeandtimes6354]

You nailed it Paul. Great information and recommendations. I also agree 100% about your statements about those fathers if it’s convenient guys. Man up and take responsibility if you brought a child into this world. Broken families as extremely hard on the kids and create developmental problems for the kids

[@fendermon]

Agree fully Gary. Having kids isn't having puppies.

[@rickylee6129]

Excellent VIDEO Paul 📹 👏 👍. I am in this exact dilemma. I am going to be 64 and I have been divorced for over 30 but had relationships. Been single for over 7 years now. Been taking care of everyone because that is what a responsible father and friend is supposed to do. We did foster care for over 7 years. This is how I adopted 2 of my children 18 years ago. Ages now 19 year old daughter and 24 year old son, brother and sister. I have already been getting them prepared for the Last past 3 years. It's sink or swim Time. Come April 1st (Tentatively) I am moving to the Philippines 🇵🇭 and travel throughout Asia 🌏 ♥️. Selling the house and truck with no regrets. I'm not saying that I won't miss them because I will deeply.

[@scottyp5870]

Good for you man. Wishing you the best.

[@dbglodowski]

Spot on. The road goes both ways!

[@Abelius]

This topic is indeed a rarity in the "Philispehe" YT community. Sometimes I've commented the only reason for not having returned there is that: 1. I'm trying to get back up financially. 2. My daughters here are ten. But I have an online job that when it does enough money will put me in the same situation as I had in 2018, when I went there with the illogical idea of returning to my country every 3-4 months, to visit my daughters. Now, a bit wiser, I think that's not realistic from an emotional standpoint, theirs and mine. Now I believe that you need the blessing of your kids to leave, or at least some kind of understanding. So, I guess I'll watch your videos for a long time.

[@travellolo]

This is a sensitive subject for me. I worked 32 years in a physical job and my body could no longer stand an 8 hour job. Both my children were supportive of my move and are financially stable, but it was still a hard decision. I saved enough to have a comfortable life here in the philippines but I would be unable to survive in the USA without having a heart attack by the age of 60.

[@allenhaney9439]

Good video Paul. I agree with you completely on our responsibility as fathers.

[@marcrichard7251]

Very good video Paul…right on point and I relate to most of what you said. Hope to be in Dumaguete early next year to retire….

[@stevesmith1127]

My daughters have both said that I should be happy and date again after my wife passed in 2008. Lately I have been thinking about going to the Philippines, however I know that my grandchildren will both be upset and miss me a lot!! I have been in there lives sense they were born. I watched them as there parents worked until they started school. Now I am asked to watch them once in a while but I visit them usually once a week:) Just saying its a hard decision to leave them because I love them but I still want a life with love again:(

[@johndi7258]

Ok Paul, heading out in morning to catch two ferry to Dumaguete. Hope to meet you.

[@chidoboy818]

Good wisdom. Thanks for your presentation

[@dannydubose]

Good points to cover Paul. I agree

[@Bob-eq1ny]

You know, I guess that is why I Love listening to you in your videos Paul, You hit the nail on the head, struck that pot of gold inside my heart, so damn close to home.. Thanks Buddie, I am not alone, LOL....

[@retiredfive0829]

That was very heartfelt video. Thanks for sharing. !

[@JohnSmuloTV]

Really great topic that is on my mind often with four grown sons. I had shared custody and part of the time solo custody with my kids and always fought to be in their lives, at great cost and pain for years. So it feels odd being so far away now that they are in their 20s. Appreciate you Paul. Thanks for this video.

[@jd1811]

Me too John, mine are also in their 20s but it does feel hard being so far away.

[@JohnSmuloTV]

@@jd1811 Definitely. Hoping they'll come visit here next year and I'll also go there. I'd happily not go back to the US but want to see kids

[@ldrcoupleinlove910]

My oldest daughter, asked me to not retire in the Philippines. I told her I will always love her, goodbye. I removed my family from my small last will. I have only ever done for others especially in my family. It's my turn to enjoy life.

[@roygoad2870]

I hate that word abandon, personally I don’t think I’ve abandoned my family. I’ve been living in Thailand for nearly 3 years, stay in touch on line every week and more. My 40 year old daughter came to Thailand and spent a month with me and we traveled the country. I have two sons who are busy with their business that they have together, we all had a holiday in Spain for a month recently and I’am going to spend Christmas in London this year with my family. The only regret I have is not building a bond with my 3 grandchildren, hopefully as time passes that could happen!

[@Camera1931-p5v]

You are a good man Paul!

[@dustbusterz]

Great Video Paul. I Too Have Little to Know Respect for Father's Who have Abandoned Their Responsibility to the Child They Helped Create. That Said, Moving To Another Country once those Children Are Taken Care of ( to Your Best Ability) is Not Abandoning Your Children. You can Keep in Contact in So Many Ways. Phone, And Social Media and Even Occasional Visits. Likewise , If They Get Feeling Like They Need Time With Dad, Yes, They Can Secure Passport and Plane Ticket and Visit.

[@danitzm]

With Thanksgiving coming up in a few days when families get together it could be a tough time for some expats. I did notice that expats tend to be more likely to be estranged from the children then other older adults. I think daughters have a tougher time with the dads having young girlfriends then their sons. For me with a daughter with special needs it would be a difficult move.

[@davea3329]

Great topic Old Dog Paul. This is a super important topic that doesn't get discussed often. One of my kids already told me (half jokingly) that if I were to start a new family overseas he will disown me. I agree with what you said about fulfilling obligations, once the kids are raised to adulthood the parents have completed their obligations. Just as some of your subscribers have commented, the holidays can be a time when it becomes a challenge. However, as you point out, even if all family members are nearby people are busy and may not see each other often, just commenting on when all are adults of course. Tough decision for many.

[@gregoryharstone4768]

Well said your are a good guy....glad to follow you...from thailand!

[@dickeyspaz3222]

Excellent subject Paul. The last of our 4 sons will graduate high school class of 2024. Then off to college and once he is finished with that and on his own feet we are moving to Bago City, Neg Occ. All the kids know of our plans and at this point with no grandkids we are good with our plans. We'll come back to visit and if grandkids come I to play possibly split time but until that time comes Philippines here we come.

[@silvacalvadores4727]

Hello sir and sis Mae thanks and happy to meet you

[@AidaJof]

Yes, one can understand when relationships do not work out, but where there are small children involved every effort should be made to be present in their lives and formative years

[@davidh2420]

A similar story: All my wife's family lives a 6 hour drive away. When our kids are small her family would ask, "are you coming for Great, Great Aunt Tilda's baby shower(fill in a BS thing ). Or would say "when are you coming to visit." Me being me, would ask, when are you coming to see us? we have plenty of room. I swear to god, the answer, It's too far a drive!!! WTF??? it's not too far for a woman alone with two small children???? People are a$$ holes.

[@zoraster3749]

Facts 💯

[@pepperello1652]

Very good video Paul!!

[@lingdinh4510]

I'm in Australia and went through a bust up 12 years ago. Left court $10,000 in dept no car and no way of fighting for custody. Child support just treat you like a criminal. I have seen my son in the past 2 years but he has ended up a f#@k up and my daughter dosnt want to see me. They both have criminal records and the mother still wont take any responsibility. I don't blame any man for fleeing this system.

[@jagenau6334]

Fellow Aussie here. I got driven out of the family home in 2011. Wife got bored with me. Poisoned and brainwashed our 2 sons against me. Lost hundreds of thousands in settlement, years of dealing with child support extortion system. Today, one son is a tatted up cocaine gangster, the other , an obese, lazy couch potato. Guess who they blame for every problem in their lives. I hear you ,brother.

[@lingdinh4510]

@@jagenau6334 the system has to change. Now my son is locked up at Wacol, and my sister is doing it to my brother inlaw who is a top dad. My family hate me because I back him. He has 2 of the 3 kids and she tells child support they live with her and he has to prove he has them. The problem with us blokes is we just move on for the peace. We should be striking as a large group until it changes!

[@hughjames8339]

I am with you on this Paul,although i never had kids and i dont how some guys would deal with it. I do have brothers and sister and friends that i will miss. I will be moving to Ecuador in the next couple months .

[@guadguadalupe2614]

Good conversation and I might say a cool way of saying it.. thanks for you video

[@cyndig1670]

Good topic!

[@ladybug111]

I would love to be abroad now but I’m having a hard time even thinking about leaving my 14 month old granddaughter. In fact we are having a sleepover tonight.

[@fightinspirit]

It's a tough decision. I'm now in love with a Filipina woman and will be visiting her in two weeks. During this visit, we will be determining if our love is real and if the Philippines is a good fit for my retirement. I have discussed this with my family and all are very supportive. All except my grandchildren. My oldest grandson is devastated at the thought of my living so far away. He's 13 and really struggling with this.

[@youngandfree93]

In love with someone you met online? Gosh please be careful.

[@fightinspirit]

@@youngandfree93 thanks bud...should have phrased that more carefully. Online love v. Real love. We shall see if online chemistry holds up in real life.

[@morgan97475]

Good video....good info.

[@scottyp5870]

Not talked about enough. It's probably a sensitive topic. I understand, I have a 17 and a 15 y/o but won't leave for the Philippines until they are 18 or so. Soon. Thanks for the video.

[@elterrifico9522]

Another top notch video from the legendary Old Dog

[@brucesnyder690]

My Wife and I raised two Daughters. Both doing great. Wide if 44 years passed away from cancer 3/17. After a year went to Thailand and started a new life. It's been great. The past is gone, need to live your life now. Never going back to the US

[@tomcataleno9128]

Very good,,,thanks

[@dashuertas3001]

Right on Paul with your thoughts on being a responsible father!👍 You do your job to raise the kids until they are old enough to be on their own and living their own lives. I think after that, there is nothing wrong in doing your own thing or pursuing your happiness.

[@rickburrill8486]

Hi Paul. Great topic for this video! I enjoy watching and listening to your videos. I've been married to my Filipina for almost 2 years now. She came to the US on a fiance visa after our dating and meeting period of 3 years. At some point we will be moving to the Philippines to live full time in Davao City. Keep up with the great topics! Hope we can meet up someday.

[@smcaulliff]

Excellent video.

[@chrisnye6198]

Thanks Paul for this video!! This video has answered a lot of questions and feelings I’ve been having about moving there now. I can hold off a few more years till they are older and the same time I can keep working and planning for my future in the Philippines.

[@keithjames2450]

Very insightful Paul, always great objectivity!

[@justinmcintosh6554]

A super relevant vlog, Paul. For me my nagging issue is ‘ how soon can I leave for sth east Asia?’ By the time my youngest are 18 and 20 I will be 65 and frankly I’d like to leave earlier but they may still need Dad. But in 10 years they may have virtual reality headsets and won’t need my physically there! Who knows?

[@watchsymposium]

12:40 Amen, brother. But once they're grown and have their own lives, it's a different matter.

[@KimonHaramis]

Very timely topic- I was just offered a golden handshake but I’m refusing because my youngest is 14.

[@farmerboy8659]

The Old Dog is right on . Nothing to disagree here . Holiday's season can be very difficult time for many . I like many will be by myself , but with health issues as concern I will worship my Lord and Savior in the name of Jesus Christ . For I will cling onto HIS mercy and with the Grace have many more Holidays . We are all dealt the hand and we shall rejoice in life . Thanks Paul .

[@sgil9645]

Hi Paul - I really don't plan on moving overseas. I just retired at 60 here in the states with my wife (a wonderful girl I met in Japan long ago) of 30 years, yet I love your content. Keep up the good work.

[@u.spatriot6469]

I agree when you say you raised your children, and you fulfilled your fatherly duties, and you proved your point by quoting the bible saying the kids should honor the father and mother. I also agree when you say you have a hard time with men who have little kids and just bail and leave the woman to fend for herself. My question to you is, what goes thru your thoughts spiritually when you haven't taken the leap to make Baby Mae you wife when it's obvious, she loves you with all her heart and worships the ground you walk on? I hope you are as transparent with yourself as you were judging others

[@tadjones1191]

This video really hits home for me. I’m from the US I’m 51 years old my wife a natural born Filipina is also 51 and we are retired. we’ve been married for 26 years and have three children and one grandchild. I’ve been to the Philippines four times with my wife. About six months ago I asked my wife how she felt about moving to the Philippines for good she said yes and no and that’s where we’re at right now. We’re both pretty sick of America and we are on the fence on what to do. Truthfully, our children are the only thing keeping us from pulling the trigger. FYI, our children are grown and doing fairly well.

[@fcaputo2012]

A great video

[@SunshineCityDude]

I retired 4 years ago. I wanted to come back here and retire. Only thing is that I had a teenage son.He was 16 at the time. In the USA. His mother is a Filipina of the bad type. So I truly did not want to leave him. Finally I came right out and told him what I wanted. He looked at me and said " Dad. I am almost a grown man. You have to do what you have to do". To be honest I almost cried realizing that regardless of what I thought had happened with his mother that I had raised a very wise young man. Even though our contact had been limited because of the divorce from his mother. So here I am in Davao City. And he seems to have suffered little from my being here.

[@stevephillips3541]

More men and young men are finally seeing the truth of Divorce and modern women and the courts. Its Men that are the Victims in most divorces ... we just don't get sympathy when we are crying..... in the darkness

[@carolinafilipina4933]

Great story!

[@mikeswave2]

Lost my wife 3 years ago to cancer. September this year I went to Thailand for the first time. But I think I found that maybe Asia is where I want to go. I have 3 Adult children all have their own lives. Two of the three children tell me go but the youngest daughter is against me going even though I don’t see her but once a month because her life is so busy. I am 71 time may be running out. So I am really thinking seriously of going.

[@thomasboutin6045]

I suggest you prepare to live in the Philippines and find tranquility

[@fendermon]

"...even though I don't see her but once a month" What does that tell us? You rank right up there with washing the car. Do what makes you happy.

[@mikeswave2]

@@fendermon I think you posted under the wrong comment

[@richardhaughton4303]

If you are a good dad who cares then it will work out, but one thing that is important and that’s communication 😊😊

[@brucejones8047]

I’m an American married to a Filipina for 27 years. We are in the process of purchasing property in Cavite city. A beautiful farmland property. I’d love to look you up when we finalize the transaction. Yur a good Joe! See ya in a few months. I was there in October for 30 days. I was sold. Loved Ilocos and Taygaytay, especially. Great experience. See ya soon!

[@jonasnight]

I've been wrestling with this subject for a while. I had my last child rather late, and he is 12 now. Despite the urge at times to take off, it just isn't in the cards. I'm not very appreciated here, but I have to see it through, or my time abroad will be ruined by unfinished work I'd have left behind. At 54 I'm aging fast, so I may wind up missing my chance.

[@dickeyspaz3222]

We are the same age. You'll get there one day. Use the time to plan your move. Glad to hear your 12 yr old kid is your priority. Stay focused.

[@RK-db4oq]

"aging fast". Four things: God (Jesus); help others when you retire--don't make it about your personal comfort most of the time; diet and exercise. You won't age so fast.

[@phil-be-health]

Get off your ass and start exercising and eating well and stay in shape. Once you let your health go your life will never be the same and here in the Philippines it won't make it any better.