Repairing Relational Injury | Dr. Jake Porter | Ep. 364

[@jsjoel2]

I’ve probably listened to over 250 PD podcasts and am amazed at the variety of topics they cover. The quality of their guests and the experience and expertise they provide has helped my almost 8 years of recovery beyond words. When they focus on one of the many aspects surrounding the issues connected to sexual addiction and betrayal impacting relationships I gladly receive it and look for ways to improve my story. I also am better equipped to join other guy’s stories and be a better group member and leader. I greatly respect all three guys and the courage they have shown by being involved in what is hardly on anyone’s list of ministries to strive for.

[@PureDesireMinistries]

Thank you so much!

[@sarahalderman3126]

Omg! 12:15 I have never heard this articulated in this way and it strikes me in such a deep way. I have experienced a significant amount of sexual trauma, beginning around 4 or 5 when I was molested by my three teenage and young adult cousins and then later at 12 my forty something year old ex brother in law. Later I married my husband who is a porn/sex addict. Twenty three years later he cheated on me and it has blown our entire life up. In fact this betrayal has brought everything back, all my pain, all my fears, all my insecurities… everything has come back and probably a thousand times stronger. Panic attacks and anxiety rules my life right now. The pain cuts right down to my very soul. It has actually felt as though I might be dying at times. This desire to simply disappear so strong. It never made sense to me, until I heard to phrased this way.❤

[@lorraineortega1031]

We live in a world of men, living by the rules of men, experience much of our trauma at the hands of men - who are so self-absorbed that they do not pay any mind to the destruction they cause to the very souls of those affected. The wound is spiritual. It requires an extensive period of grieving the loss(es), especially of trust. It also requires a whole lot of self-compassion, validation, for healing to occur.

[@PureDesireMinistries]

Thank you for sharing! And thanks for listening!

[@UsualCase]

Is there a particular PDM episode that gives specific guidance on a periodic (weekly) check-in format for the addict and the betrayed partner to use? Or is there a recommended resource for it? It has been a HUGE struggle for my wife and I to get on the same page about what is beneficial to discuss during our weekly check in conversations around my SA, and to what level of detail.

[@PureDesireMinistries]

This is a great question. We've seen a weekly check-in using the FASTER Scale tool be incredibly helpful for what you're talking about. Here's a link to the free tool on our website: drive.google.com/file/d/1DYzE1u7FcfFXhPNa-R6JLDjHZFv8bOtk/view?usp=sharing

[@bluelynx4493]

Not defining a problem in the solution leaves nothing to be solved.

[@vickihogan8207]

In my dream world this would happen with my spouse.

[@PureDesireMinistries]

Send them this episode!

[@baryl3969]

How do we find group therapy? It’s rare and I can’t find it where I am.

[@PureDesireMinistries]

We don't offer group therapy, but we do offer groups that work through clinical and biblical resources to help recover and heal.

[@Tarapinupgirl]

As I sit watching this episode, my fiancé is locked in the bathroom paying sex cam models… with my money. 😖😭 Won’t admit it even though I found all of it on his phone. Hurtful.

[@JoelDunn-lw8uq]

🙏🏻😢🙏🏻

[@MrsB-qm6ly]

Traditional therapy has been destructive. We are on the road to a D. We have done no work together. So there has been no healing together. Three and half years later we are worst on than before. So it is hard to want a marriage. Through traditional work my husband sees me as the root problem.

[@PureDesireMinistries]

We're so sorry to hear this! In all honesty, this is exactly why we exist. To help men and women in your situation. Are you interested in looking into support from us?

[@MrsB-qm6ly]

@@PureDesireMinistries I have been looking. Thank you!

[@mrbillinsf]

I do not get it. This guy talks about being in recovery but never speaks to the specifics? He says he became a believer, but at the top of his website is a quote from Ghandi, a Hindu. I do not mean to be mean, but both the host and Dr are very effeminate.

[@PureDesireMinistries]

Thanks for the feedback.