Richard Gilmore realizes they failed rory

[@esc1224]

the reason rory can’t take criticism is because everyone in her family treats her like she’s a god, and they always defend her actions no matter what

[@MazzyDairies]

facts

[@amymenjivar3489]

She had a 'friend' instead of a mom who didn't prepare her for the savage world outside of Star's Hollow. Life is cruel.

[@marywokocha6908]

Fax

[@seldak9066]

Omg that is so right .And what makes her so special? Richard, Emily, Lorelai, and Luke all act like Rory is the golden child who is bound for unbelievable things. Rory has plenty of flaws and it's odd that no one else sees them.

[@cr1msonredd]

she’s always been compared to her mother so by society’s standards next to her mother she’s amazing but in the real world she’s not the amazing smart perfect girl she’s always been told she is and she doesn’t know how to deal with it

[@londynchen210]

Ngl Rory kinda showed what almost every gifted child goes through. They get praised as a child for their intelligence but then they grow up and either burnout or end up being average. I’m not saying average is a bad it’s just to them it’s a bad thing.

[@dido.the.side.h0646]

lol true. Ig I have straight 9s and a Cambridge offer but I have the social skills of a lobotomised walrus

[@carleigh3223]

literally happening to me right now.

[@Unpoeticirony]

And gifted children become amazing at following directions and being obedient, then in the real world they need to be creative and independent and they don’t know how to function. Rory was amazing at studying and following rules, but I can understand why she didn’t have the gaul for journalism. You have to challenge and compete and that aren’t the skills you get from a 4.2 GPA at a school where you aren’t even allowed to choose your own clothes.

[@dinavienna]

I don’t know .. I never went through that. I was „diagnosed“ highly gifted at a time I really Struggled in Highschool (being bullied by the other kids , in trouble with one particular teacher ). I understood many years later that I was bullied because I was different - and that I wasn’t ready to succeed socially at all in Highschool. I M still not fully succeeding socially in my mid 30s to be honest but doing much better. Uni allowed me to spread my wings and my early professional life too. I was able to put theoretical talents to use and feel I did. I sometimes wonder if I should have gone into research and try to change the world with my „gifts“.. but am quite happy in a Consulting industry. I earn a nice salary and feel I can use my brains in my job. That s not too bad .. I like my work. I don’t feel I ever burned out or was average. Also not that average is bad but when your brains are wired a little differently you typically have social disadvantages.. you better reap some benefits intellectually else that S really not a fair deal !! So I don’t know where you get that idea from .. I think people ought to be careful with such dramatic statements too .. teens and young adults that are highly gifted tend to be insecure internally and struggle with being non conforming .. so such damning statements can do serious damage to people you don’t Even know. Why would you want to do that ? Please don’t do things like that just for the sake of saying something „deep“.. you Never know who is affected by something you quickly say on the internet and then move on with your life ..

[@iwanttoswimintheswanepoel]

literally this, & parents question what happened to us after raising us to unreasonably high standards.

[@sabrinafauteux1011]

It’s funny because Rory was the one who was supposed to succeed but she didn’t when Lorelai excelled without a super fancy education and Emily and Richard never noticed it’s kinda sad

[@adriana12995]

Lorelai succeeded because she never gave up and because she had a reason to fight: Rory. Lorelai had so much humility that she even worked as a maid just to raise her daughter when she could have easily stayed with her wealthy parents. Its a very interesting parallel when you think about it: Loleai was a hotel maid at one point and yet her highness Rory (in the last season) felt she was too good to even answer questions at a job interview because she thought they should have given her the job right away. Rory doesn’t have any motivation other than the endless praise that she would get from everyone. When she stopped receiving that praise, any motivation to humble herself and work harder was gone. I think it’s actually very realistic to show that having a fancy degree means nothing if you’re not willing to work hard and take constructive criticism. Rory thinks she’s better than everyone and got accustomed to receiving instant gratification instead of working her way up. She preferred to be homeless, broke, and unemployed in the last season than to actually put effort in a job interview.

[@whatismyadjectiveiconfused]

I always thought lorelai is successful person from the start of the series. She started from maid to hotel's manager to having her own inn. She has daughter who enrolled to yale, while she is a high school dropout. Although she is somewhat hard headed and childish, I found decisions made by her were thoroughly thought

[@lg5627]

When Lorelei was 16 to her 20s, Emily and Richard thought they failed her, or at least that Lorelei failed herself. When Rory was 16, she seemed to have pretty much everything going for her. It’s funny how Lorelei ended up with a more successful future than Miss Rory did despite their different circumstances at that age. I see this happen in real life. Overachievers in early life can get drained and peak at that time.

[@thesunshineisgrae6987]

Well Richard always said that Lorelai was bright and exceptional.

[@kathrinefer7301]

🤯 your right she is kayak

[@Black_pearl_adrift]

“If she’s got what it takes she’ll bounce back.” That exactly. As much as I love Rory, her aspirations were never tested, the road was so well paved for her that she couldn’t bounce back from criticism.

[@CCEkeke]

Plus, she came from a small town where she was showered with praise at how awesome she was at every turn.

[@Black_pearl_adrift]

@FlyingMonkies325 🤷‍♀️ I kinda see your point but journalism is a tough field with a lot of competition, Rory didn’t seem to have the determination or grit to compete at the top level. Which is fine not everyone is going to be a top journalist. She shouldn’t have taken that one blow and quit it should have either driven her harder to succeed or helped her realize a different more attainable vision of success.

[@HelTra91]

She got a few dislikes and completely fell apart, with that attitude she should have just stayed in stars hallow

[@danieldickson8591]

@@HelTra91 Except that she did bounce back. Once she grew up over what happened, she went after a newspaper reporting job, and when she didn't get it right away she kept pushing until she did. This was the kick in the pants she needed.

[@retropyro]

@FlyingMonkies325 Nah, people who have it and want it will bounce back. They will take that criticism and use it. They'll keep pushing. The ones who make it to the top have to claw their way. Those who crumble when they're told by someone that they aren't good enough, don't deserve to make it. Not in that particular field. Having the talent and skills is only one part. You have to have the determination, humbleness and will to succeed.

[@No-qf1vg]

Rory’s character really shows the importance of teaching kids a growth mindset. If you raise your kids giving them rewards for getting A’s without even studying, constantly calling them naturally smart, talented, and perfect, they’ll crumble whenever they face criticism or something doesn’t come easily to them. Instead, reward your kids for effort. Praise them for being hard workers and dedicated people through the things they decide to do, and teach them that when they fail or face adversity it’s not an excuse to stop working hard. Even if something doesn’t come easily, they still have the power to succeed at it. That way, their ego and self confidence don’t shatter as soon as someone puts them down. Because Mitchum was, in some ways, right. He said, “if she’s really got it, she’ll bounce back.” He was testing her to see if she’d keep going when facing adversity. But she didn’t. Because she’d never been taught to deal with something that didn’t come easily to her.

[@spinacetta89]

I agree with you but Rory DID work hard nad wasn't being handed rewards without studying, she had to work hard when she started Chilton, and even at Yale when she realized she couldnt' do all the courses.

[@gabrielaacuna4036]

Maggie, thank you for sharing your comment. It made feel better. I am studying and (also strugling) for a test for almost 2 years. I see it's not only about the result, it's my effort that should be valued.

[@No-qf1vg]

@@gabrielaacuna4036 Yes! It shows incredible persistence and hard work on your part to continue studying for a test for two years. Give yourself some credit for that, you’ve kept moving forward even when it felt like a struggle. You’ll go far with your effort and positive attitude! Good luck to you!

[@beckpal7267]

@@spinacetta89 I completely agree. Rory worked really hard for where she ended up. She studied ten times hard when she got to Chilton and her grades even slipped at one point in her English class. Rory worked even harder to pull through and make her grades A’s.

[@fatmabetul818]

this is me. I was always naturally good at everything and people think that so too. but when they praise me by saying "you are naturally talented" ,I now realise, I was stopping putting effort for the things that I think I cannot do naturally. so I was maybe good at many things but never put the effort to get these abilities to the next level. And also, until the college, I didn't need to work hard to get good grades. I got into one of the good colleges in my country, but after I started ı failed many of my classes again and again. for the first time in my life I really needed to work/study, make an effort to get something I want. and I actually didn't even know how to do that. and I was also criticized by a few people in my first year at there. I still don't thing they were right about the things that they criticized about me, but again since I haven't had any major conflict with people before, it broke me down. But finally after all these things, I now know I need to make an effort to get the things I want. I should really want it, and work for it. It shouldn't just handed to me. I am still working on it, but I am happy and proud of myself for realising this situation and try to do something to fix it. it is kinda hard to teach yourself to work after being lazy all your life. But I am hopeful :) (sorry if it was too long, but if there is someone that suffered the same or similar things I did, I want them to know they are not the only person that these things happened, and it is okey to fail or being criticized sometimes, there is always a lesson to learn.)

[@danielle15ann]

Mitchum is right though. If she got what it takes, she'll bounce back. But she didn't. Rory was so used to being praised by the people around her that one criticism destroyed her

[@theferryman4916]

spoken like a true bully...

[@theferryman4916]

@@bellalalala3327 I'm not surprised you don't see the problem here...

[@contelookhere7568]

@@theferryman4916 are you for real? Was he not right? What exactly did Rory do out of her life and the whole journalism thing? She's a spoiled brat that always got what she wanted. You can like her as much as you want but it's the truth.

[@jennamichie7245]

@@contelookhere7568 yeah I never actually saw any of her true journalism love unless you count the life and death brigade and maybe the story about the sidewalk pavement or something like that but even then it was far less than what I expected to see. Most of the show was of course based on the girls relationships

[@itsmemiaa738]

@@bellalalala3327 I agree with you, but at the same time, I think I'd be lost and destroyed if someone told me I wasn't good at my dream career that I dreamt of since I was a child. But you're right... the fact that she was praised all the time and that she NEVER heard a "no" in her life played a huge role in her future. She was born bright and gorgeous, she had 3 boyfriends (ok 4) and 2 guys (tristan and marty) completely in love with her + she wasn't rejected by any of them because she was ugly, fat, dumb, or something like that. She only had one "obstacle" (the D she got when she started chilton) as a teenager. She never had to deal with what most teenagers go through (pimples, anxiety, depression -I'm not saying these are exclusively teenage illnesses, ok just to be clear-, low self-esteem or loneliness). She didn't have a bad relationship with her parents, she was raised in a loving and safe town. I mean, I'd die to be rory tbh even if I don't like her character

[@Frontdesk_tragedy]

Rory couldve excelled at any other field, journalism never fit.

[@kinjalkadakia6933]

I feel like lorelai would've made a great journalist tbh rory should've chosen to be an english teacher or prof since that suits her better

[@LOVEAapjes]

@@kartunland it depends what kind of journalism.. if you do a lot of research, long documentaties,.. or if you go after the news on the daily. Soft news or hard news. Stuff like that

[@bonnyp3774]

even jess knew it, he said smth to her on the illfated car ride about how he couldnt picture it... she always only did what was asked of her, at the internship, even in high school when she wasnt going to try for the bicentennial speech because she didnt HAVE to do it and she only did bc lorelai pointed that out to her and kinda goaded her into it

[@cassidyrobbins7895]

She would have made an excellent doctor in my opinion... or a vet or something along those lines

[@Frontdesk_tragedy]

@@cassidyrobbins7895 seriously. She could've been amazing.

[@kiwipeaches7905]

It’s heartbreaking that Richard Gilmore’s actor is gone now, I really respect his role in the series 🥺

[@loosilu]

He was an extraodrinary actor. This scene is such a beautiful example.

[@lovewhitey4462]

Powerful performance 🎭💔

[@reikun86]

I also remember him as Richie Rich's dad, Richard Rich.

[@MadaraUchiha-.._]

@@reikun86 Dude, I know him from the Lost Boys, no wonder he looked so familiar to me.

[@SeminarioMAE]

whaaat when did that happen

[@phoebecp]

After rewatching the show countless times I also like to compare Paris and Rory. Paris always worked hard and never let her guard down. She always seemed to overprepare but guess what she ended up successful while Rory didn't prepare much at all. Doesn't matter that Rory got into Harvard and Paris didn't. Paris said she needed Rory to be her competition and motivate her, but Paris actually pushed Rory a lot as well. I think that once Rory and Paris separated ways, Rory didn't have that person to push her to work hard anymore. Everyone else just says "you'll get it you're amazing" but Paris is the one who tells her the truth - you have to apply for many different jobs and companies, have backup plans, and even back in Chilton when she told her you need extracurriculars. Anyway I love Paris she's a great friend to Rory towards the end.

[@LeoDomitrix]

Paris was the anti-Rory. She had none of the adoration, all the same smarts if not more, and she kicked a$$. :-)

[@lilly7346]

Paris is always right

[@aanyaganesan6766]

Damn

[@lucijastanic6278]

@@LeoDomitrix defo not more she just studied like crazy, everyone would have that grades if they studied that much

[@sabinahoudkova1417]

@@lilly7346 especially with Valedictorian

[@hailsh2029]

She's the exact definition of "peaked in highschool"

[@vyentro29]

Trueeee

[@sodagoth]

that's what i was thinking. "peaked in high school" is usually used to describe people who were popular in high school and did not maintain this attention after. but rory's case is even worse cause her peak was used working towards a peak that never came.

[@trustyourself-ashleyching3646]

She did well in college yeah?

[@Isabungaa]

Unfortunately honestly I look up to Lorelai more than Rory 😐🙁

[@zoecolbert550]

@@sodagoth CAN U PLS EXPLAIN WHAT RICHARDS FACE WAS THINKING AT THE END IF THE VID. I don’t know if he was proud of Rory or upset IDK

[@drm1417]

I feel like Rory flopped because she got everything she wanted from the supporting cast and they all put her on a pedestal. And she had high expectations and thought she would float through life like she did before. I agree they should’ve encouraged her and her intelligence but not inflated her ego. I feel like if that didn’t happen she would know how to stick it out and learn how to work hard to get opportunities.

[@allegraanegra455]

Yup for sure even when she was obviously in the wrong and was capable of making her own decisions they found a way to blame the ppl around her and then baby her.

[@Vampire_Nightshade]

@@allegraanegra455 yes, exactly! She became bratty which is understandable but still annoying af

[@soukscriedhere]

Actually, Rory did work hard. She always studied patiently and everything. Now the problem is, that that hard work used to always pay off... Unfortunately, in real life, sometimes, even when you work hard, you can fail. And that´s something she never learned

[@phungyw91]

@@soukscriedhere I always imagine, what if Rory did went to Harvard.

[@soukscriedhere]

@@phungyw91 Oooh, same! I feel like it would change a lot

[@XMizzTuraX]

Richard's reaction when he sees how Rory is flourishing by being praised on stage at the end, shows incredible acting talent on his part. You can literally see the moment he realizes where things went wrong.

[@byalephbetcomics]

I haven't watched this episode but oddly super curious lol, can you explain what it is that he sees in Rory at this moment where he realizes things went wrong?

[@XMizzTuraX]

@@byalephbetcomics it's not as such the episode itself but the context (I’m used to study film and media so always look deeper into things) Rory spends the entire episode upset and thinking she’s no good because she’s been told that she is top tier (not as such but in her head she’s being told she’s a failure and will surmount to nothing). Richard obviously does what he can but he’s not really hands on in the sense someone needs comfort. That night at the charity event after she’s been moping all day, he walks in on her happy as anything and in her element because she’s been showered with praise and seems to have forgotten to be sad because all attention and praise is on her. So Richard sees first hand she can’t handle criticism but only praise with in life you need to be able to balance both

[@byalephbetcomics]

@@XMizzTuraX ah well said! I knew this about Rory but in those words and from your observance of her feeling the praise on stage, which I TOTALY didn't think anything of, makes her character all more apparent! Thank you for the explanation ^^

[@jaycievictory8461]

@@XMizzTuraX That's really interesting. I always took it as he realised their coddling approach e.g. never criticising her for leaving Yale or making her go back had led to her (in his mind) wasting her talents by immersing herself in their superficial rich events world. So, yes, they had failed her, but in a different way.

[@Themsbeatlesrock]

@@byalephbetcomics to me, I think in this scene Richard saw how much Rory is like Emily, who live for organizing events (nothing wrong with that). You can see Emily clapping so proudly and Richard is so disappointed because I guess he never really wanted Rory to be like Emily because he sees the superficiality in Emily’s world and Richard was always more down to earth and wanted Rory to be more like him rather than Emily.

[@lizziecatherine7048]

One thing that always bothered me was when Lorelai would defend Rory by saying, “She’s the sweetest kid in the world! She would never hurt anyone!” I feel like that lead her to be the opposite, especially in relationships. She seems like the person to always do the morally right thing, but then she cheats on every relation she’s ever had, either with them or on them. Her whole family lead her to believe she could go through life with no trials and only the way she wanted to. That truly lead to her downfall.

[@RenaissanceRockerBoy]

Also Lorelai was a terrible mother. Rory was never taught how to be mature or handle relationships because she had an absolutely irresponsible and entitled mother who she should have been separated from.

[@lizziecatherine7048]

@@RenaissanceRockerBoy well, I don’t totally agree with that. Yes, Lorelai wasn’t a great influence on Rory with relationships and I don’t think she should have kept her relationships separate from Rory, I don’t think she was entirely entitled. I think she taught Rory the importance of independence and education, even though Rory later in the series turned away from that for a little while. I think she tried as hard as she could to provide the life for her child that she wish she had, though some of the things she implemented were not beneficial, such as never critiquing her or disciplining her the right way. So I don’t think she was a terrible mother who needed her child taken away, but maybe altering some of her parenting methods. But your entitled to your own opinion, this is just mine.

[@TheMarkmcr]

@@lizziecatherine7048 rory being turned into a narcissistic rich girl means that lorelai cared about her too much, which definitely counts as irresponsible

[@lizziecatherine7048]

@@TheMarkmcr though Rory has the ability to make her own decisions and had other influences other than Lorelai. Being turned into a narcissist isn’t a direct result of how Lorelai raised her. And I don’t think caring about your kid, especially when you are close to them, is irresponsible. Maybe, as I said in my comment, Lore and her family praising Rory and heightening her ego was, but I don’t think it was ill-intended. I’m not criticizing your opinion, just stating my own, one that I have been curating for the seven years I’ve been a fan 😂

[@TheMarkmcr]

@@lizziecatherine7048 I didn't mean that lorelai should have been an absent parent (although that certainly had a positive effect on paris). The issue is that in the pilot episode, she describes her parenting style as "We always had a democracy in this house. We never did anything unless we both agreed. But now I guess I'm going to have to play the mom card". Sounds to me like she let rory get away with a lot of stuff during her childhood

[@jackofaces107]

The main issue I have with Mitchum is he didn’t just criticize Rory. If he criticized her, then that would be pointing out one of her weaknesses so she can improve on it. But instead he chose to completely degrade her. Saying she’s not good enough but then not telling her why she wasn’t good enough, even going as far as to say she’s make a good secretary to someone. Richard was 100% correct in saying Mitchum crushed Rory

[@justforyounow5387]

the “secretary” part just sounds like sexism tbh

[@bdubs9040]

Exactly. People keep downgrading how crushing situation was for Rory. She can take criticism, but this was literally “the” newspaper mogul telling her that she basically wasted her life wanting to be in this career field. He never even looked over how well she could write. From what people say about her writing you could tell that she was an excellent print journalist (if not a little judgy in her reviews lmao)

[@vanessa3550]

@@bdubs9040 I agree with everything you said but I also think it's important to note that Mitchum was not a stranger. He was good friends with her grandfather and is the father of her boyfriend, so there is a connection there beyond professionalism. Being talked down like that by someone who you actually know in your personal life, even if you don't like them, is going to sting differently than if it was some random person. The rest of Logans family had already made sure they knew Rory was not welcome. Mitchum offered the internship as an apology, Rory at first didn't even want to accept it, the whole deal never started on neutral ground. It was not just some random internship and some random boss she never met before.

[@emilycain2137]

That is very realistic for that field though. Journalism is very cut throat and sometimes it isn’t something specific you can fix, you’re just wrong for the field. That absolutely would be devastating, but something like that was bound to happen especially when no one ever criticized her and put her on a pedestal for all of the earlier seasons.

[@hpr2008]

@@justforyounow5387 She was running behind him and getting him coffee like an assistant, so he told her she may want to continue doing what she'd shown she was good at.

[@m.layfette6249]

I'm glad I found this clip, because it really shows the utter disappointment and guilt on Richard's face. In his heart he knew Lorelei was right all along. #TooLitteTooLate

[@bagelfish8916]

Right about what

[@bianca.asmr1]

@@bagelfish8916 right that Mitchum critiqued Rory and that they didn’t want her marrying into their family

[@bagelfish8916]

@@bianca.asmr1 ohhhh

[@bonnyp3774]

yep and not just that, i think in the big picture he knew that rory had lost her way that he had basically funded her fall from grace

[@Maatjuhhh]

@@bonnyp3774 They also failed Lorelai. This was the first time in a while that Lorelai called for big need in help. She even outlined how much she need Emily and Richard to help her Rory right her ship. To ignore her and do what they thought best was abysmal. I feel a big part in this was Emily's thinking. At least Richard redeemed himself at season 7 end at the Rory's graduation/farewell party.

[@kristinanance7100]

When I rewatch Rory's college journey up until she drops out you can see the building blocks... it's not just that Mitchum told her she "didn't have it", it was everything that happened leading up to it. She got to college and had multiple hits ot her confidence - that guy she asked out rejecting her, not being able to keep up academically, not really stading out there - at Yale she was just another student. Her homesickness and lack of a love life leading to the whole disatser with her now married ex-boyfriend - then the whole confusing up-and-down relationship with Logan. I think by the time the Huntzbergers told her she was common trash that could never marry into their family - followed quickly by Daddy Huntzberger telling her she could never be a journalist but was more suited to being a secretary... it sent her into a spiral. Everything she thought about herself going into college had been challenged, and now the one last thing she felt certain of was crushed too. I could see how she would just say screw it and walk away in a moment of weakness. I think at that point she didn't even know who she was anymore.

[@andychia3132]

She's the typical White privilege kid that has it all in the beginning that amounts to nothing because she thought she was "Special". There was nothing special about her other than being spoiled and coddled by Rich people surrounding her. When reality finally hits her in the face, she crawled back into the whole. Even got pregnant while crawling back.

[@regaliaretailfashionmerch4314]

But if she had mettle, she wouldn't have placed so much stock in that trashy family and their opinions at all, and what they had to say about her, with respect to marriage or in career. You are who or what you choose to surround yourself with, because you are placing value and time in them. Rory needed to start afresh with a whole new set of values after experiencing burnout and peaking

[@rosesweetcharlotte]

@@regaliaretailfashionmerch4314 Yeah, but Rory believed she was part of that world. Her grandparents always made her feel welcomed in that world. And it's not like she did anything to be low class. This is one factor of her life she has absolutely no control over and no one really made her confront it until that moment. She had no defenses against what they were dishing out

[@JustMe-vs1kj]

@@rosesweetcharlotte she wasn’t rejected because she’s lower class (they’re both high society). She was rejected because she would be a working woman while the huntsburgers expected Logan to marry a woman that would stay at home as all of the high society woman would do. Even Emily did that. They even said that in the show… surprised you didn’t catch that

[@laurasosnow383]

This is a very astute way of putting things.

[@1andonlyzara]

The look on Richard’s face when Rory starts crying. Like “Oh shit. Emotion.”

[@nourtomi1]

Oh shit, spoiler 😭😟

[@aimeejane_writings]

Lmaooo

[@matthewtran5046]

oh shit, i shouldve used a condom

[@YouTubeGalPal]

@@1andonlyzara typical guy response. Smh 😒

[@somahargitai9251]

He's like Ron's mom in Harry Potter. Looking for a tea if in stress.

[@signalfire15]

This scene is just fantastic. You can hate the events that happen in Gilmore Girls, you can hate what becomes of Rory, you can hate the actions certain characters take, but you can never say that this show isn’t depicting reality. It’s so real. What is happening to Rory is so damn real. What Richard is feeling is so real. It’s things that all young people have to go through and all older people have to realize and I’m glad that the show chose to tackle these things head on, no matter how unpopular it was!

[@saradelriocelaya4818]

What chapter is this?

[@nevenazMadwrld]

agree, very rarely does tv make characters and life events so realistic

[@SagemaGrindset1894]

i just started watching this and i love this show, even though it's sometimes so hard to watch for how absolutely real it feels. I'm still in season one, episode 16, couldnt finish and skipped episodes Double Date cause i cant bear to see Lane in THAT kind of pain and Donna Reed coz idk i think i was reall more invested in the story's other plot line. im currently having trouble finishing episode 16 cause the pain and misunderstanding is just sooo hard and painful to watch. idk why im rambling all this i just came here to see people discussing this show cause i still love this show soo much but it's just hard to continue right now, might resume watching it later tho

[@heyhi7762]

literally like the realest show

[@cheergirl1364]

@@heyhi7762 i like gilmore girls but i feel like shameless is the realest show

[@nicnac6104]

Honestly, most people don't like the turn that Rory took at this point, but it resonates so much with me. As a gifted kid, I was always praised for everything I do from the age of three, and I still am, to the point that I don't know how to react when something goes wrong or I do badly. I was criticized so little as a kid that I never learned how to improve my skills in various factors, and now I don't know how to react when people negatively view the things I do. It's so interesting to see a character deal with this on television, and how much it aligns with my issues.

[@Sim0sama]

It is also more interesting since her mom is the opposite, she gain everything she had thanks to her strong personality and capabilities, she refused everything her parents gave her to start over from zero. Her daughter instead grow up in an healthy environment, happy and with everything she needs, being loved and appreciated, so when the world start to reject her she couldn’t handle it and she didn’t know how to react and what to do. Really interesting to me🤷🏻‍♀️

[@nicnac6104]

@@gordythecat Exactly. With my gifted program back in middle school, we weren't at all challenged to do better, but rather praised for what we did in the moment. It's a terrible curse for kids who have a chance to do great things. I just hope that, with time, I get out of the bad habits that I'm stuck in.

[@kim-it8de]

@@nicnac6104 if you know your problem, itll be easier to fix it. but there comes a point where you cant attribute all your academic failures to the gifted program, thats just denying yourself accountability to protect your ego.

[@nicnac6104]

@@kim-it8de Yeah, you're right. Some of the responsibility does fall on me. Now I just have to teach myself to get out of the habits I've fallen into. With time, I'll get there. 👍

[@Soccer40Chick]

@@gordythecat I love this. We are worth it intrinsically.

[@maxinesteuer1959]

To me, Rory’s story drives home how important it is to teach kids how to fail. You’re not going to be good at all the things you like, sometimes hard work will not pay off, and it absolutely sucks but it does happen. I don’t believe in “tough love” as the way to raise a kid, but I do believe in making sure they understand the differences between achieving and not.

[@untitled1464]

It took me studying abroad in college to realize how freaking sheltered i had grown up and why i developed so much anxiety. I never got a break from school bc my parents were always pushing ivies onto me. I don’t blame them as much as i use to but in Rory’s case, Lorelai went the extreme route sheltering her daughter in a small town.

[@ChrisAtheist]

To Lorelei's defense She wanted to protect her daughter from her parents who weren't really good parents At the beginning they especially Lorelei's mother wasn't great grandparents, Richard was the first to get close to both by realising that he made mistakes.

[@janderson947]

True bvb butbloreli never sheltered her grandparents did mostly her mom was there yes but her grandparents are the one who funded her school rory yelled Harvard while lorelai just wanted her to he happy but true rory always wanted everything to fit perfectly in her plan but that's not the way life works...

[@CM-pf1xc]

I’m glad you had the opportunity to study abroad (such a privilege) and gained a new perspective! So important to see beyond your own community

[@shayla106]

It was the same for me, I was in advance led English classes in high school(in my home town) but in college(in Atlanta) I could only get a C. No matter how hard I tried.

[@Tessy29k]

You need to travel round the world and see how other people live. It will help you gain perspective.

[@rayrei8620]

I always hated how much they coddled Rory. That guy was right, this is business, and you either have it or you don't. Why is it ok for them to be forward with everyone *but* Rory? If she can't take criticism and dust herself off and bounce back, then she shouldn't be in the business period.

[@mattyc.9332]

The first time I watched it, I thought he was being mean to Rory. Then as I'm rewatching the series I realize he was right. Rory kinda fell to the wayside as the series went on.

[@tammiepage6489]

Yeah but people don’t need to be cold hard either because I can break anybody even not a spoiled person I’ve known people that things broken down and they weren’t spoiled in fact it actually breaks more people they’re not spoiled I don’t have everything handed to them

[@sweetyetunrefined9335]

There is no such thing as "having it." Every "it" that someone means when they refer to "having it" is a learned skill, and if someone doesn't "have it," it's because either 1) they haven't been taught or 2) they don't want to learn. Now, someone not wanting to learn what it takes to make it in their field, that's a valid criticism. But if someone hasn't yet acquired the skill, and you're too lazy to teach them, that's on *you* (in this case Mitchum).

[@BriaBarrows]

Me too

[@BriaBarrows]

Either having it or you don’t is not true. You can definitely grow to be a good writer and excel in the field.

[@TommyLellan]

The most beautiful thing about this series is the twist that Mitchum was 100% right. And of course he was. He’s a professional.

[@whorable]

fr i hate how they ruined rorys character.

[@sailorarwen6101]

Journalism never seemed to fit her character to me. And why spend all that money on an Ivy League education for...journalism...something that finding success in is not easy

[@xminaa1397]

@@sailorarwen6101 true like Ik she apparently loved it but they never rlly showed her true passion and she wanted to go to Harvard just for a journalism major

[@itsmemiaa738]

@@xminaa1397 i think an english literature major would suit her more

[@varshitharamakumar9431]

@@itsmemiaa738 she DID major in English lit

[@kavyareddy7807]

Richard and Emily got a taste of their own medicine. They treated dean as if he wasn’t good enough for Rory and when the exact same thing happened to Rory, they can’t take it.

[@Hi-vr3kd]

yep and they didnt believe lorelai and turned on her, then suddenly realize she was right after speaking to mitchum and seeing what a waste rory turned out to be under their guidance. they had it coming

[@isabelleetienne5337]

@@Hi-vr3kd I think they didn't believe Lorelei because of the relationship they had. For example they have a good relationship with Rory and they wanted to keep it like that so they were quick to take Rory's side of things. If you really look at it Richard and Emily have a better relationship with their friends like Mitchum more than Lorelai. After Lorelai left she became a stranger in a way so I guess they couldn't trust her.

[@priscilalopez8957]

When Mitchum said she didn’t have what it takes, he didn’t mean that she wasn’t a good writer, he meant that she did not have the emotional stability required for the job. And he was right. edit: After one year of this comment i come to say… MOMMY IM FAMOUS edit: damn 3 years and I still get replies to this 💀

[@chasbodaniels1744]

That’s one interpretation for sure. Most sensible observers would probably say that Huntsberger ought to have been a lot more diplomatic, especially when dismissing a S.O. of his own son.

[@KK_183]

Did he articulate that to her, or did he leave it vague so she could form her own interpretation if what that means?

[@debasmitachatterjee6455]

@@KK_183 Why would he bother to articulate? Everyone around her makes her feel special, but he just represents reality. In the real world, no one gives a shit about your feelings. He didn't hurt her, he just said what he felt (and he was right).

[@NM-jt5lr]

Young people don’t show up to a job with everything it takes to succeed. As a mentor, it’s really important to criticize, but in a nurturing way, not in a way that makes the kid feel like she inherently is not good enough. You say, “That thing you did was not good enough, you can do better. Here’re some pointers.” Not “You don’t have what it takes,” which implies that she intrinsically isn’t good enough. Mitchum is a selfish asshole, but apparently that’s forgivable as long as you’re a “businessman” and “successful” (things he was spoonfed by his wealthy family). For every tantrum and unprofessional moment someone like him has, someone down the chain of command is picking up pieces so that every intern or new employee isn’t fleeing a toxic workplace.

[@KK_183]

@@debasmitachatterjee6455 He would "bother to articulate" for clarity. Keeping things vague doesn't help her realize how she can improve, which doesn't help her in any way. Your biased against Rori, so you don't see the benefit of constructive criticism. This isn't about catering to her feelings, as you imply; rather, it's about helping someone realize where they are lacking and providing the feedback that will help him or her grow. Also, you say that "in the real world, no one gives a shit about your feelings." Having lived in the real world, I call BS. Obviously, there are people who don't care that they offend, but there are also people who do, so the idea that once kids go out into "the real world" people are completely indifferent to others' feelings is factually untrue. All that being said, there is a way to constructively criticize, which I'm all for, even if it is uncomfortable for the recipient, because it at the very least provides clarity on how the other person can grow. What Mitchum appeared to do was just criticize, without any advice or feedback for how Rory could improve. That kind of feedback is largely, if not entirely, useless, and it comes from a place of ego and superiority.

[@aria2226]

When I rewatch the series it’s pretty clear that Rory is a character who has never really been rejected and has always been given love and praise by people. Everyone in stars hollow loves her, all of the boys she’s ever liked have been enamored with her and with some small exceptions she has always achieved academically. I think being told that she isn’t cut out for a career she wanted was crushing for her. But tbh most people who pursue their career or a goal have been told by people that they aren’t cut out for what they’ve been striving for. By their families, friends, and bosses etc. Mitchum’s singular opinion (although the opinion of someone highly regarded) shouldn’t have destroyed Rory’s drive and motivation so much. Mitchum was obviously an ass about it but tbh people in position of power and wealth like him are rarely kind or thoughtful of other people’s feelings. It’s obvious by looking at Logan and his family that Mitchum is probably not much kinder to them either. And if you want to excel at any career you have to deal with a lot of people rejecting you/doubting your abilities when you start out. It’s your job to prove them wrong. And with her actions afterwards Rory proved him right.

[@AddBowIfGirl]

Laundry room boy didn’t like her. And having boys like you isn’t remotely abnormal for girls, especially pretty girls.

[@aria2226]

@@AddBowIfGirl I’m not saying it’s abnormal, just pointing out the ways Rory’s character didn’t usually have to face much ‘rejection’ whether it be academically or in her personal life.

[@bear6699]

nah

[@jamarsh09]

Especially a career in journalism. People are harsh af almost all the time coming from all corners. I can kinda get her being down for it being the 1st time it happened but she never got better at her recovery so in turn never really improved

[@MsJubjubbird]

I agree. I mean there is a point in your career where you have been rejected so much that you have to accept you are just not cut out for it or there just isn't the market for it. But after one rejection from an impartial source you can try and improve; or if not then find something else you want to do just as much

[@wsw360]

Missed out Emily destroying Shira, iconic.

[@belmarshall9103]

@@happylamma4643 she didn’t do anything shira didn’t do to rory. shira claimed that rory wasn’t good enough for their family, emily was pointing out that at one point, that was true of shira. she was showing her how hypocritical she’d been.

[@latricee_2000]

@@happylamma4643 NO

[@elanorapowell6811]

As a gifted child who is now an adult who burned out before her senior year I still cry when I am criticized. I’m working on it but when you are told growing up you are either right or wrong and there is no in between, than being wrong hits so much harder. I feel for Rory, it’s not her fault her family raised her to rely on the attention and approval of others.

[@blairwaldorf-bass8180]

I can’t relate, but my sibling is this way. I was always the f up so it doesn’t bother me when bad things happen to me and i am unsurprised. But for them it’s like the end of the world and they can never handle being told they’re wrong. It’s going to present a challenge in the work place but not my problem 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@elanorapowell6811]

@@blairwaldorf-bass8180 It depends I also have BPD from abuse and neglect growing up which doesn’t help my gifted child syndrome. You should realize by now though that people who crumble when they’re told they aren’t perfect are horrifically insecure and depressed. It just shows differently. Maybe have a tad more compassion.

[@insaiyan634]

Shame 🤣🤣🤣 thats what you get when people kiss your ass.

[@matthewdietzen6708]

It's a form of disguised warfare consisting of psychological manipulation.

[@blueredcityy6882]

how you know you are gifted? 1Q?

[@bef9612]

A "slight criticism" would be, "You are not behaving aggressively or assertively enough for this business," but that is not what Mitcham said. He said "You don't have it" and "You would make someone a great secretary," after Rory spent years of her life wanting to be a journalist and not knowing where to go next. Her emotional reaction was understandable, because she was blindsided. Her actions afterward were NOT. But Rory did not crumble; she polished up other talents and started working at the DAR, came back in and started running the Yale Daily News. Mitchum was right overall, but he was dealing with a student first, and should have learned to give her constructive criticism.

[@roter13]

No, it was not understandable. She was spoiled and raised to think that she was incredibly special. Most people don't steal a boat because of a person's opinion.

[@hayatidk]

Honestly my annoyance with the boat thing was that it would typically be a Class A felony with jail time, and because of her status as a rich WASP at Yale she was able to get it reduced to a misdemeanor with community service, and she still acted like she was so above the other community service doers and it was such a waste of her time. Like, if you weren’t a rich white girl there’s a good chance you’d be in a cell right now.

[@dannysanchez3525]

Rory did crumble though. She dropped out of school, committed felonies, and GAVE UP on journalism. She did all that instead of trying to prove mitchum wrong.

[@realkareno]

When we catch up to Rory in A Year in the Life, we see that Rory still struggles to be that assertive journalist. We see that she has remained the entitled girl who felt that she was owed things because of how great people say she is. She assumed that Conde Naste would bend over backwards to have her on staff. She felt entitled to the job.

[@maryem9225]

you say she came back to run the Yale Daily News... and while she did do a good job at it, that position, really, was handed to her like so many things: Yale itself, the internship, her boyfriends, the job Lorelei got her that one summer, the Washington DC thing she got because of Paris, the VP position she got bc of Paris, etc. The problem isn’t that she isn’t talented or “doesn’t have “it”” but that she is used to be given things because the people around her always did because she was “special” but she came into the internship hoping Mitchum would see it too, and 🤷🏼‍♀️ he didn’t. and it crushed her. Lorelei and her grandparents really did smuther her.

[@RS-uz3ud]

Three things I learned from watching Gilmore Girls: 1. Offer love and support but don't tell a child he/she is perfect and can do no wrong 2. Let your child fight his/her own battles and face consequences 3. Never tell your child there is only one path to success or happiness.

[@Mr.Awesome-j1n]

4. Be more of a parent than a friend. Yes be a friend but parent more. It always felt like Lorelie wanted to be her friend more than be a mom.

[@Chichi-dc9rd]

​@@Mr.Awesome-j1n that because she got pregnant so young, she raised a friend and not a daughter

[@lizethrodriguez6919]

Lorelei LITERALLY confirms it in one episode that she and Rory are best friends first and second being a mom. She even mentions that she doesn’t even like playing “the mom card” on Rory like Ma’am 🙄you are a mom. But mostly maybe cause she doesn’t want to be like Emily.

[@zezokh4754]

rory was a big fish in small pond back in Stars hollow sheltered and kept safe from the big world by the entire town .. Mitcham was the first one to tell her the hard truth she doesn't have it journalists aren't sweet little blushing girls from small town she needed sarcasm ruggedness a taste of the real world and SHE DIDN'T HAVE IT .. 2 characters in the entire show 2 people helped Rorys career Mitcham and Jess

[@christinabunt9886]

Exactly. Sie is beautiful, intelligent, kind and loved by everyone. But there will always people who will be better and Rory was never really though. She was "to perfect" in my opinion.

[@EmilyShaelyn]

Exactly its easy to be the smartest and best in a town of 1000 but not in a major company thousands fight to get in every week

[@adriana12995]

@@christinabunt9886 kind? Did you watch the parts where she was a cheater? She was never perfect. I don’t know why people act like she was ever perfect. The other characters treated her as perfect, but she was never a perfect character. Big difference.

[@milam3382]

@@christinabunt9886 she was too polite and introverted. paris would have been a much better journalist.

[@sodagoth]

it's just like kurt cobain's art teacher telling him he had exceptional talent and would make it big one day as a painter but he knew he was only exceptional at his small town high school so he didn't pursue it

[@niamh5899]

I think Rory and her development, or lack thereof, is really interesting. Often I think about the comparison between Paris and Rory. Rory, although hard working, was never criticised; shes the perfect example of a "gifted kid". I think a good example of the treatment she was given is when Rory and Jess got into that car accident, Lorelai refused to accept that Rory was partially responsible. Rory was taught that she could do no wrong, and everything she did and said was perfect. Now, I think there seems to be a narrative in the comments that Rory was a "bad journalist" specifically because of what Mitchum said here. But then we're disregarding her experience within the Chilton newspaper in which on her first assignment she persevered and wrote a brilliant piece on an otherwise utterly boring topic. I don't think she was a bad journalist, I think she never learnt how to be a great journalist. She never improved beyond that level because nobody ever taught her how to improve, because shes Rory so what is there to improve? But then also on Mitchum, I don't think Mitchum was entirely correct here. His "criticism" was highly degrading and condescending, I think he was correct in not coddling Rory, but he should've told her what she could improve on, how, things that are beneficial! Instead he told her she'd be a good receptionist, which comes off misogynistic to be quite honest. But back to the comparison between Paris and Rory, Paris was rich but she didn't have half the emotional support system Rory did. That girl worked for everything she had and she was unapologetically ambitious for the insanely high standards she created for herself. And yet despite her efforts, Paris continuously failed to achieve what she really wanted. She didn't get Valedictorian, she didn't get into Harvard and in "A Year In The Life" we see that she is divorced and unhappy, unable to continue the career she had strived for. Paris to me always seemed like the one who really deserved the opportunities in education Rory got.

[@Vancity6048]

I disagree about the Paris part.. because Paris actually turned out to be pretty successful. During her time in Yale she received so many acceptance letters from various colleges such as Harvard, and this was during Yale when they were close to graduating. Meanwhile Rory didn’t receive anything. Also in the “ A year in the life” she may have been divorced and she may not have pursued a career that she “strived” for but she’s successful in her present career, making good money and she seemed pretty happy to me lol

[@trassaelpmis6918]

I love your comment, but don't like the part where people criticize Rory. It is not constructive people. Y'all don't consider that she grown so perfectly without a father. I share the same situation with Rory. It is tough not know what is to have a father. As for her identity crisis is something that most of us has or will have in our life. I believe that identity crisis made her better, grow as person and professional. I also think that everyone treats her on special way because Rory has their hearts. She and Lorelai worked for that reputation. Not every person will treat you so well until you earned their trust, respect and friendship. Paris is cool, but I guess she failed with her marriage mostly because she did not develop interpersonal communication skills. She always lacked and still does. But I love and admire her for being Paris💜

[@niamh5899]

I don't dislike Rory's character and I do still think that what Mitchum said wasn't constructive and like I said before was actually quite insulting. I think she's a likeable person and I do agree that they worked for their reputation however there was a clear lack of constructive criticism otherwise she wouldn't have come so unprepared to the interview in A Year In The Life. She also was still seeing Logan whilst he was in a relationship because she still sees herself as his number one. Everybody has faults and I think there is quite a clear level of arrogance that Rory holds. On the side of not having a father, I myself cannot speak from experience and I'm sorry that you can relate to her in that way. However whilst Christopher was never present in the way he should've been - he did still try to be there for Rory and it was always incredibly obvious how much Rory meant to him. She also had an insane amount of people around her who loved and supported her so she was never without a support system. She never became professional ion the way she should have because if she had, she wouldn't have showed up to an interview essentially expecting the job to be handed to her without any sort of preparation whatsoever. She's a pretty complicated person but in the end I do like her, she just has faults and whether those are a result of her own lack of maturity or because the people around her never pushed her to learn and grow from these mistakes (to an extent, I do think Lorelai coddled her but when she slept with Dean when he had a wife Lorelai was straight up with her - but then Rory did the same thing again in A Year In The Life.) I think Paris just deserved as much as Rory got or even more and its seriously a shame she never got those opportunities.

[@carlyedwards1422]

Mitchum actually didn't do anything wrong. He told her what he believed to be the truth about her (ultimately he was right). That's how life goes sometimes. We are told we aren't cut out for something we want, we dont get the job we want, we fail. Rory did it to the ballerina and Richard literally said he did her a favor, mitchum said he did what richard would do meaning Richard has done it too. It's only bad because it's perfect little Rory getting a dose of reality

[@ChrisAtheist]

You're right but , when it's family everyone who loves his child or grandchild act different, if Richard would have done it to Logan or how his name was mitchum would been pissed too In Rory's Case it was worse because her grandparents we're to strik with their daughter and wanted to better with Rory and that backfired

[@Vampire_Nightshade]

Yeah, he could have done it more gently, but he shouldn't be villainized. If Rory couldn't face that critisism, journalism was never right for her

[@Alex-wl9xw]

Exactly. Normal people do get told that they don't have it in them to become XY. Look. I failed most of my classes as a phys/chem student, ultimately proving what people told me even before. Now I study Russian language, have my research, I may get another degree in history, it's going great for me now. Sometimes people need a huge slap of reality, high schoolers don't know what they are capable of or not

[@enadine6405]

I agree but there is a more tactful way to say things.

[@Vampire_Nightshade]

@@enadine6405 he's been in the buisness for a long time, he's not really supossed to be sensitive. It's understandable, yes, he could've done it differently, but that's how he handles things with everybody else

[@marilima9986]

You can say what you want about Mitchum, but he is smart and cares for his company. If Rory was really that good he would've kept her. Richard is such a hypocrite, he did the same to Lorelai when he screwed her boyfriend Jason over in the insurance company

[@Claudia-fw9ot]

that's not the point. he could have said, "i have to let you go" or given her anyway to improve. instead he just said "ur not good enough". is she really a drain on the entire company, she's just an intern lol the whole point of internships is to teach them and give them resources, they're not supposed to add much to the team. she was only 19 or 20 when she was doing her internship, people grow and get better with actual, helpful critiques. but yea her mom and grandparents also shouldn't have praised her so much growing up.

[@tomh.2405]

@@Claudia-fw9ot I think that's one of the subtle character touches that made this show great: Rory is an impressive person in many ways, but -- whether it's from being an overpraised only child or some other source, she does have a tendency to overreact in the face of setbacks.

[@31WinterWolf31]

@@Claudia-fw9ot that’s what his character is meant to be like. If Rory can’t handle that kind of persona, she never would’ve survived being a top tier journalist and she definitely wouldn’t have been able to be that role model she kept wishing to be like

[@Claudia-fw9ot]

@@31WinterWolf31 it was uncalled for coming from her boyfriend's dad and his entire family told her she wasn't good enuf at the dining table. i'm not saying it justified her quiting yale, she had a moment. lots of people have moments. and maybe she worsens in the reboot, but i think she was just acting like a normal privileged girl who was taught her whole life she was the top of the top. people grow and change and their skin thickens

[@bonnyp3774]

i think the best parallel is when richard is telling rory not to feel bad about the ballerina article because some people need to be told at a young age that theyre not good at doing something and now she can go into business that’s literally what happened to rory

[@elizabethpizano1216]

Yes Rory is a writer not a journalist

[@undead.rising]

And whenever Rory did something obscene, such as party like a spoiled rich girl, or steal a yacht, people would always say: "Oh she's not one of those girls!" when it is incredibly clear that she is.

[@rosesweetcharlotte]

That's sort of the problem. She totally is, but at the same time, she isn't. She will never be allowed into that world to be able to take full advantage of it, but her grandparents never fully seemed to realize that. Nor did Rory until she went off to school.

[@claraolson6803]

the fact that she didn't realize it herself made it true

[@Ambereigh]

@@rosesweetcharlotte she was entirely allowed into that world she just chose not to accept it.

[@elvickRULES]

@@Ambereighshe was still friend with the life and death clowns in the revival. Cheating with Logan. They through her a party for being arrested. She was accepted by her rich peers. She was accepted by the DAR ladies too. She even made friends with one of them that Emily didn’t like. Which was contradicted later by bad writing but this show is full of inconsistencies

[@kathreath1]

I think it was supposed to mirror Emily in the way that Richard's mother didn't approve of Emily when she married Richard.

[@t4ngy]

i feel so sad to see his face in this final scene. its like he's seeing all his hopes and dreams for her going away as she settles to being a housewife.

[@aishaz6552]

Being a housewife is not 'settling'. To have the option to be one is a privilege.

[@t4ngy]

lol guys i meant to say that this was how he was feeling, not that being a housewife is a bad thing. its just not what he wanted or imagined for her future.

[@bellajewels]

I always felt that he felt that way watching her in the ladies club with Emily. Like he felt she was wasting her potential. I even feel like there was an episode where he said something like that to Emily and she was hurt by it, like he didn't think much of her. My issue is that rather than tell her she was great I would have preferred him to say, "look kid. You got a bad critique. It's like. Now what are you going to do with it? Are you going to let it break you or are you going to rise to the challenge?" Building her towards her dreams was never Mitchums responsibility. It was Richard, Christopher, Emily and Lorelais. Part of that building would be to say, "this is part of life but it's what you choose to do with it that defines you, not his critique".

[@zaarabilal5687]

@@aishaz6552 she did a lot of studying and her whole life dream was to become a big journalist. Going from being someone who has big hopes and dreams in life to not doing anything in a professional business is settling. It is amazing to be a housewife obviously but that’s not what you worked for her whole life. Her dreams came crashing down. Everything that she worked for point meant nothing

[@adriana12995]

@@bellajewels What I gathered from the way that he’s watching Rory up there on the stage is not necessarily that she was wasting her potential, but rather that as he watched her, he saw the weak, vulnerable child who “would become a drain” that Mitchum was talking about. He realized that Rory was indeed, sheltered and unable to accept the criticism of the world, so when she was criticized for the first time, she ran away into a small corner of the world where she felt safe and unchallenged, and that place was with him and Emily.

[@readilykatie8312]

Honestly, Mitchum’s actor is so good at playing scuzzy characters. Mitchum, Quinn’s dad from Glee.

[@michelle-ve3jb]

Omg theyre the same dude!! Can't believe I didn't realize

[@chanelsunshine]

And the restaurants owner on bunheads

[@maireadmccann6269]

I saw him on Glee recently and I was like wow, typecast much?

[@jeansat7922]

i really hope he's the complete opposite in real life lol

[@TheMarkmcr]

He's also in ncis la 3x16. Doesn't end well

[@laurenuttley8592]

Rorys story really scares me because I relate to her so much. I’ve always excelled academically, would love to go into journalism or some field of writing and am about to put myself in loads of debt for an English degree. Her downfall is daunting and unsettling.

[@viralmehta4915]

Don’t worry it’s just a show. I bet you’ll be amazing

[@sabaccium]

Study computer science as a back up. You'll be well-rounded and be able to write about tech with an insider's understanding.

[@RKhere97]

Don't worry much about it, sure have a backup but remember it takes so much effort to pull anything off so don't be crushed when you don't wing it in the first few times!

[@candyanna1506]

learn from her mistakes. these shows are meant to teach us lessons

[@LisaHerger]

You don't have to go into debt. Look into studying in Europe. In many countries it's free.

[@Lordgrayson]

Angry Richard is always so satisfying to watch, its like Luke when he's ranting, the level of love and passion he exudes while being furiously defensive of his family is amazing

[@devworlddaily]

What pissed me off is how they didnt even think to believe their own daughter when she told them what the huntsbergers did! the fact that they dismissed their own DAUGHTER even after Emily is like oh that can't be i loved lorelais reaction they had their chance to stand WITH her and instead they stabbed her in the back

[@sara-hv1fw]

I think the problem is that they never treated Rory like a child growing up and they heavily neglected her by being so focused on their own lives and affairs and forgot that Rory was growing up in scenarios that led her to toxic habits (absent father- escapism through reading, disappointment mother- attempts at being ‘perfect’ put together and responsible) and through never recognizing the deeper nature of Rory’s ‘ideal’ kid persona she built all of the unhealed aspects of herself up and her lack of an emotionally fulfilling childhood led her to a really burnt out point so when we see Rory acting like a mess and not who she is its because she never actually knew who she was, she never got to. She either had ideas of who she was projected onto her (even from an earlier age ex. Lorelai wanting her to go to Harvard) or she was stunting her personal discovery through immersing herself with fictional books- even in her relationships with boys she could only present the image of who she thought she was based off of everyone else’s opinions. Aside from just her raising (mother, absent father, grandparents) she grew up in a town full of adults further propagating the problem of her unchild like childhood where there is a necessity for exploration. And she literally only had one friend from the town she grew up in who she barely even emotionally connected with. There’s just so many things that could have turned out wrong if you really look at Rorys upbringing and the things she was surrounded by/exposed to but idk if the show really means for it to be that deep this is just my two cents. She never matured because she was always made to feel like an independent grownup at a young age and then when she found out the real world doesn’t accommodate to her just because of who she is, she’s met with challenges she’s completely unprepared for.

[@mcgonagallerys]

Wow, I have two questions, are you a therapist and can you be my therapist lmaoo

[@BriaBarrows]

Her friendship with Lane should not have went past highchool. She couldn’t relate to Lane.

[@QuietlyCurious]

This is the first compassionate as well as accurate opinion I've seen on Rory.

[@Pandatruth]

This the one 👆🏽

[@eduardaaraujo9039]

underrated comment omg

[@sthuthis6033]

You guys can't blame Lorelai's parenting for the way Rory turned out. Lorelai - like any other parent - defended her daughter to everyone because she is a MOTHER. But please remember that Lorelai is never afraid to cal Rory out when she's done wrong (eg. the time she lost her virginity). However it is Richard and Emily Gilmore who try and erase her mistakes with money and/or shelter her and give her privilege even when she doesn't deserve it...making her totally unprepared for criticism.

[@ron3200]

It’s the parents fault no excuse. Lorelai only called Rory out when it was ab her love life and look at how she ended up, Rory is still having affairs. And when it came to academics and work she didn’t even mention it cause Rory was so perfect. I feel like it’s mostly bc lorelai wanted to make sure Rory didn’t make the same mistake she did when it came to relationships, so she focuses more on that then everything else.

[@hello7thgod]

Actually what this entire family dynamic is called is covert emotional incest. All adults involved are in fact at fault for the outcome. The parenting style of best friend and romanticizing parent cause Rory a host of issues. Lorelai’s parents had a critical and emotionally abusive relationship with her, which is why Lorelai’s parenting was so close, (making up for own childhood) and an equally romanticizing relationship with Rory. Problematic. 🫤

[@mc2writer]

@@ron3200 Which is what we all do. We try to make sure we don't make the same mistakes with our kids we think we our parents made with us. Some of us do it better than others, but all of us make our own mistakes as well. You also have to remember that Lorelai had no role model for mothering when she became one, and she was still a kid herself. She made her own mistakes, sure, but she loved her kid more than life itself.

[@claraolson6803]

I think lorelei's lack of commitment and unhealthy choices dating wise influenced rory to also make bad choices in that catagory

[@LPSmeow1989]

@@hello7thgod oh yeah I didn't watch most of this show but sometimes I watched it when my other family members were. I remember on Rory's 21st birthday she said that the plans her mom made for the 2 of them to go out drinking on her birthday were some of her earliest memories, like before the first day of kindergarten. Parents can be friends with their kids but they should still be their parents first before trying to use their kid as a built in bff. Lots of bad parenting moments on Lorelai's part.

[@notthatnick5546]

To me, Mitchum's attitude with Rory was a breath of fresh air. "If she's got what it takes, she'll bounce back." He might be an asshole in general, but he's a successful one, with great business acumen. She lacks two very important things to succeed: resilience and humility. And Richard's face at the end of this scene shows very clearly that he now sees it too.

[@Katrina.for_art]

I love how Mitch says, we should have done this over the ph. 😆

[@notthatnick5546]

@@Katrina.for_art Hahaha, me too. It was the "This could have been an e-mail" of that time. 🤣

[@evagreen5928]

Mitchum was a dickhead. Sadly there are a lot of those out there.

[@StanChunghaOrGoHome]

It’s weird because I actually remember Mitchum being a lot meaner than he really was when I first watched the series vs rewatching it now. He’s not actually that mean in what he says, just direct and honest. He gave her the ingredients to succeed in telling her she has to be more of a go getter, but she took that as him telling her she shouldn’t be a journalist at all.

[@notthatnick5546]

​@@StanChunghaOrGoHomeYou're absolutely right. Rory is not used to things not going her way. 😅

[@eikentina]

She would be a great manager, she is organized, she is a socializer (everyone likes her) and would be great with planning things. Maybe she would be a great manager in a NGO (travelling, managing and doing good) or good business consultant (maybe for social start ups). or add a major in arts or music management.... She could even be a good teacher and share her love for literature with kids...

[@shayla106]

But she feels she’s too good for those jobs that’s her problem.

[@milkycollective331]

@@shayla106 this!!

[@zz7073]

You have to be assertive to be a manager, she'd crumple under the pressure of having push back/disagreements from her staff. She's the kind of manager that would start crying and shouting when an employee pointed out something wrong or didn't agree with her ideas.

[@eikentina]

@@zz7073 she showed that she had managing skills at the Yale daily news and the DAR.

[@Theoriginalbubbafett]

There was never a man more suited to play a character than this! His ability was SO undervalued.

[@FufaCobain]

that is acting, the last scene when we can see the pain and regret in the eyes of richard.. rest in peace amazing Edward Herrmann

[@joex1084]

I think what Rory was really missing was spite. When somebody would try to crush my dreams, even if they were right, I would just keep going out of spite.

[@andychia3132]

White privilege doesn't teach you spite. Just makes you weak when people call you out on your bullshit lol. Spite comes from being the under dog against terrible odds when you accept the challenge of others to prove your point. You don't learn that when you're constantly praised by everyone around you because no one ever challenges you.

[@lynnw.3306]

But sometimes someone trying to crush your dream makes you reflect and you might find that it isn’t really your dream anymore, or never was your dream. I mean she had this dream when she could barely understand what journalism really is about but never questioned her values etc. over the years. So I think this time it was the very first time for someone to challenge her on that and she was unprepared, she was confused and intimidated. So she took some time off. And she found herself back on her former path. And that’s ok! It would have been as ok to change her path as to keep on going after some time off. It’s a good thing she reflected and challenged her own views and values on the journalism career goal.

[@lynnw.3306]

sometimes it’s good to do something in spite of what others think or have to say about you, but you have to want it! I would never do something only to show others I had it in me to do it, I do what I want to prove myself right and work for my passions and goals. No matter what other people have to say about it, one way or the other. But others opinions can still make you think and lead to a reflection process. That’s a good thing as long as you don’t manipulate yourself throughout the process.

[@VoIcanoman]

Hey, I'm keeping going on a dream of mine right now, far beyond what some people would consider even remotely reasonable (because though I really do want to succeed in this field, I've always had multiple interests, and could easily have switched paths long ago) partly out of spite for the people who tried to get me to quit. And while I'm a guy, I do relate to Rory in several ways - I was also private-school educated like her, with parents who really couldn't have afforded it without scholarships and bursaries, I was always good at lots of things naturally (not good at everything obviously, and I was only at the top of my grade in one...maybe two areas) and people constantly praised me for achievements/results, and not for the process of trying and failing and working harder to succeed. But it took me a long time to get to this point. My obstacles weren't Rory's obviously...but I did have to fail many times before I gained the skill to identify ways in which I could better succeed (ironically, it was traits that made me successful in strictly-academic environments that held me back in the "real world," and I was in denial about this problem for years). Mitchum expecting Rory to understand a world that, frankly, she's never had to deal with before, and have skills that she never got the chance to develop yet, displays a shocking lack of empathy here. How could she be who he wants her to be...and how will his behavior benefit her? He identified a real problem, but wrote her off without understanding the source of that problem, or the fact that it isn't something that Rory couldn't fix.

[@amelian9677]

I love this so much.

[@cambriatevis6907]

This reminds me of when my PI (principle investigator) / boss at the research institute I was interning at told me that I would never be a doctor and that I don't have what it takes. Well, it took me about 6 years but I am now a 1st year medical student. If you want it, you can make it happen.

[@Meandyoujustus]

Go you!

[@vaayuri]

as a person myself i relate to rory at a VERY HIGH level. i was very multitalented as a kid and the pressure from people kinda pressurised me to be so perfect that i completely broke myself and i couldnt anymore

[@agatamakrucka8065]

same

[@Deport_All_nonWhites]

that sin't what happened to Rory at all... she was a narcissist incapable of criticism.

[@calvoekleiden8664]

@@Deport_All_nonWhites well she became narcissistic after she was raised by a town and mother who praised her always no matter what and never questioned her. Sure she could’ve grown out of some of it but if you dont know any better it can be hard to be objective

[@TheMarkmcr]

​@@calvoekleiden8664 it's because she didn't have an ounce of humility in her to begin with

[@Rana-Ehab-Mohamed]

​@@Deport_All_nonWhites This is exactly what happened to her, but since hating Rory is cool it's ignored. I mean Logan's father wasn't even giving criticism he was a grown-up businessman who manipulated a college girl, criticism is telling the weak or good points not indirectly saying 'you're a loser who won't make it' and people say it's criticism, someone calling you a failure isn't criticism

[@cutelovegigi]

As I grown older I now realize that they always praise Rory for her accomplishments but they never taught her to embrace and learn from her mistakes. She could have been such a strong character if her family, out of all people, taught her to her this. Instead they shamed her for not being anything but perfect, especially Lorelai

[@genesisc6281]

I just realized that Rory being apart of the DAR and organizing corny ass events isn’t at all surprising when you consider all the town events Stars Hollow expected her to be apart of. My memory is failing on specifics but one thing that comes to mind is in Season 4 when Taylor gets mad at her for not having time to be the “Ice Cream Queen” at his grand opening. He mentions how she’s always been apart of every other Stars Hollow function and then guilts her for prioritizing getting ready for Yale. If you pay attention, you’ll notice that Rory has always contorted herself to fit into whatever other people expect of her. She’s overly accommodating (i.e. repeatedly acquiescing to Paris’ demands, pleasing her grandparents 24/7, being a doormat for Logan, etc.) pretty much throughout the entire show. There are a few moments here and there where she stands up for herself but only when she’s been pushed over the edge. And it takes a lot for that to happen. Seems like the way Rory was raised, resulted in her unconsciously just doing whatever was most likely to get her praise in any given situation. It’s why she’s so aimless and lost in the revival. She’s in her 30s- Finally, no one’s there to tell her what to do. All throughout her teens (and 20s probably) if she received praise it was because she had done something favorable in the eyes of others. Not necessarily because she set a standard for herself and followed through on it. Yes, she was very studious and hardworking in her academics. But how much of that drive was intrinsic? And how much of it was just a fixation on what she was “supposed” to be? (I mean, didn’t Lorelai put Harvard in Rory’s head when she was 6? This narrative of a kid in the single digits being passionate about an ivy league seems off.) Those who were labeled as “gifted” or only ever praised for intelligence as children will understand what I’m saying lol. That shit will fuck you up. Your entire identity becomes about being perceived as capable and smart. Rory was never taught how to validate herself. So, yeahh… at least the writing and character arc makes sense.

[@poorvinandwana]

it's scary how much the accommodating for others and receiving praise, along with being good academically and almost never being criticized resonates with me. accommodating for others to the point of my own degradation, and then getting praised for it is such a dopamine hit for me. it makes me feel like all my 'sacrifices' are now acknowledged amd appreciated, when in reality they are obviously not.

[@darkskingorilla]

corny ass events😭😭😭

[@carolinesmith1971]

they treated her like a god and that’s why she flopped

[@Melanie-zk4yb]

yeah. even when she made terrible mistakes, everyone would tell her it was okay

[@carolinesmith1971]

@@Melanie-zk4yb literally they’d be like “rory NEVER screws up like this! she’s allowed to make ONE mistake!!!” but she’d fuck up majorly like every single day in the later seasons and no one cared

[@vanousisi8112]

Yes but this is what season and episode? Please

[@dalewall3726]

In reality is the way Rory was treated really any different from how most people treat their kids. Parents want or are suppose to want their kids to have everything better than they did and more often they not end up going overboard. Rory though as an adult , no matter how much praise she got as a kid , was respondiable for her choices, especially the bad ones. I didn't particularly like the way Rory was proteayed in part of Season 6, but understood the direction the producers took with her character. After she reconciled with her mom and went back to Yale, she seemed to get back on track.

[@sorrybusyreading]

The actor who plays Richard played these scenes so well! I love how you can see his emotions at the end!

[@adriana12995]

I wonder if the people who say that Rory in the last season was “out of character” watched the same show that I did. Rory was always selfish and self centered. Anyone remembers when she slept with dean, a married man? How she stole a yatch because she was upset? How she broke down the first time someone gave her criticism? How she pretended to be above her grandparents “snob” life when in reality she enjoyed every moment of it? (Just look at that scene where the Gilmore’s are fighting at the table, Emily mentioned how she redecorated the pool house for Rory and Rory responded by saying that she didn’t ask for it. Emily quickly shut her down by saying that Rory never told her to stop it, insinuating that she clearly liked it but wanted to pretend that she didn’t. Just one of the many examples of how Rory loved her life of privileges but would pretend that she was just some humble girl from a little town.) This is who she has always been and it’s because everyone loved her and praised her. She was handed everything and with minimal effort. Rory was never virtuous and caring. Her family failed her and coddled her all her life and they never prepared her for failure and hardships. They simply told her that she was perfect and a genius who would achieve everything. Imagine what that does to the average person, even the smartest ones, when life turns out to not revolve around them? I disliked Rory from the beginning because she was spoiled and ungrateful, just like Lorelai. Rory turned out to be an average person who was only smart and successful in school and I think we’ve all known these kids. They excel and thrive in a structured school system until they fall apart and become lost when there is no structure anymore. Outside of getting good grades and that one good article that she wrote for the school newspaper, Rory never showed any sign of extraordinary talent. Her family and those around kept telling her that she had it but she quickly learned that, outside of her little pond of echo chambers, the world would quickly let her know that she is just an overrated bookworm and not much else. She peaked in high school. Nothing wrong with being average btw, but those who live their life thinking they are special also end up falling down hard when they realize they aren’t special. Thank you for coming to my ted talk .

[@msushi98]

Exceptionally well said

[@urspendy]

I think that a lot of Rory's immaturity comes from the fact that her Mom was so young, and really didn't know how to set limits, indeed, didn't want limits for Rory because the Gilmores were hard on Lorelai, and she went the extreme other way, as you say, which gave Rory a sense of entitlement.. I agree, the image of Rory in the town's mind and actual Rory, 2 different people. It's funny she was raised by extreme, so was Lorelai, different extreme, but both the same personality in the end.

[@izl1104]

Rory to me is very different from lorilei (spelling). Rory's mother had a lot more initiative and was willing to work for a lot of the stuff she has (base on how the show presented her.) Rory on the other side had issues setting her own boundaires and creating a work ethic. I think it ia because Rory wasn't put in a situation of having to majorly rely on herself. There are many rory's out here and in any economic status. They just appear different vs someone who is force to make a way for theirself so they can feed theirself. I think that what was said "If she is great she will bounce back from this." Is really saying if she truly has faith in self and conviction to make something happen she will work hard. Rory to me is someone who definitely does not have confidence or conviction. That is why she is in the situation she is in even till the recent season.

[@nadtiai]

Word👏

[@shayla106]

I mostly agree except for the Lorelai part. Lorelai could be self centered and stubborn. But I still wouldn’t really call her spoiled considering that she worked for everything she got and would make things harder for herself just to spite her parents. She even gave birth by herself ( she didn’t even want her parents there).

[@katerpotateralligator]

Reading these comments truly scares me- as someone who has been gifted their whole life, I am used to nothing but praise. After watching this show, I realized how very privileged I’ve been my whole life and how I might turn out one day. Especially since I want to be a journalist after college like Rory did. I know this show is obviously fictional, but it is about something that is very real for some people. This realization has changed the whole way I look at my life. Ever since I could remember, the only person that told myself I wasn’t good enough was my own consciousness. This truly terrifies me. What if I turn out like Rory? This show changed my perspective on my life and has rattled my brain. And even looking back on this comment, it seems stupid and useless to be worrying about a show made for entertainment years before I was even born. I know how privileged I am, to have been gifted my whole life and to be loved by everyone. But this is one of my biggest fears. If you read this far, i thank you. I will never know who read it, but I would still like to say thanks for reading about a total strangers deepest fear in the comment section on a KZbin video. Thank you.

[@amethyst3128]

But again if u always think u are not good enough u are gonna fuck up ur life girl

[@suzy_h6397]

same...

[@TheBrownWitch]

If anything. My story was a lot like Rory too, but the twist was, I learnt one thing, u might or might not fall down in life. But you have to learn to bounce back to ur best eventually. Which is exactly what I did,I was praised for being gifted my whole life till I pursued STEM field. And boy, was I not gifted at all. The first few sems I did terrible really. But eventually I started to bounce back, and it wasnt easy. But u dont have to live in fear of being a failure. Cause truth is, adult life isnt like highschool but u learn to get better. You should focus on learning and growth in your academic life rather than praise. Dont worry 😉

[@csf801]

If you really are scared of turning out to be like her, then you won't. The point is to bounce back from crushing criticisms and failures, and if you have that willingness, then you will bounce back. Now I was never the 'gifted child' nor have I never been not used to getting criticised, so (fortunately) I've never had this fear. But I do have a PhD, and I cannot tell you how many times you have to listen to the fact that 'you won't make it' in academia. Not saying that it's not difficult to get rejections but it is unrealistic for gifted people to expect that things will be smooth sailing their whole lives.

[@uswahefatima104]

u r cooool, prayers, u will be fine, don't thrive offf praise

[@Franksinny0tra]

Y’all are really out here clowning, Mitchum gave her a criticism like a boss would in the real world. Yes he was a little rude about it but that’s how the world works, Rory couldn’t take it and broke down. Which just shows the waste of a character she became afterwards. She always had someone taking care of her and the one time a rich adult wasn’t there to coddle her she withered.

[@Franksinny0tra]

@@velascoescreve yeah but I’m saying that Rory is a very privileged person and has been carried through her life like a China doll. She was not ready for the real world and that’s on her not being mature enough to have that type of job and her character development just getting destroyed after that. I’m saying they ruined her character

[@emmasessoms7986]

Well also he gave her the opportunity not because she earned it on her but because of what his wife and other members of the family said to her. I think that Logan must have talked to him and he thought he could remedy it by giving her the chance and then taking it away from her and making it seem like it's her fault. Maybe if she had more on site training than she would be more prepared. Or if she earned the job opportunity on her own instead of having it be a bandaid to a much bigger problem she wouldn't have reacted that way.

[@bear6699]

nah

[@Franksinny0tra]

@@bear6699 ok?

[@Franksinny0tra]

@@emmasessoms7986 I wholeheartedly agree with you because let’s be real Rory doesn’t earn almost all things she gets in the show from season 4 on.

[@elly7445]

If she really wanted to be a great journalist she would have said fuck that guy and moved on - it really in retrospect could have been extremely helpful though hurtful in the first place. It’s sad we see in the reboot that she never did learn and still expects jobs to be handed to her without effort

[@margaret7984]

TRUEEEEEEEEEEE

[@BriaBarrows]

Exactly

[@TuliTheUnruly]

"We should have done this on the phone." This actually means: "It's easier for me to be rude, hang up on you and not have to deal with actual, human sympathy."

[@corymorrow5329]

Just doin his job

[@belmarshall9103]

No, it means he wishes Richard hadn’t brought this topic up in public. Mitchum was never rude, he gave Rory a chance and then gave a criticism that she simply couldn’t handle, proving him right.

[@bellajewels]

It was not the time and place for that conversation. And if Richard hired Logan for a job, gave him an honest critique, and Mitchum haranged him in the bathroom no one would be saying he was in the right. It is not a good look that because Mitchum gave his honest feedback on her ability in a job Richard didn't see her perform he and his wife got a dressing down for the Gilmores. It was a professional matter and they made it personal.

[@alexisgrammer6629]

If you looked when he said that Richard was making a fist to punch him. He was trying to defuse the situation in any way he knew how.

[@sarahjane4772]

The writers said they wanted her story and everyone’s story to be about life giving you curveballs. Rory ending up pregnant and lost sums it up perfectly. Life often repeats itself in some form

[@claraolson6803]

that's mildly terrrifying

[@matthewtran5046]

thats some bullshit, she just mentally disabled

[@divyarana3290]

It's exactly what Carol Dweck talks about in her book "Mindset"- a child being constantly praised for their intelligence and not for their efforts and choices, end up entering a Fixed Mindset instead of developing a growth mindset. This fixed mindset results in children who could have been exceptional when they grow up ,end up being average. They don't think that they can improve because to them intelligence is what you are born with since birth and cannot be altered therefore anybody questioning that or criticizing it ends up being a limitation to them.

[@vampgirl101rocks]

Rory's grandparents may be the typical rich people who don't have much time and don't really deal with emotions but you can really see how much they love her

[@seannanana84]

The fact that Rory broke after one person saying she didn't have what it takes proved Logan's dad right. She didn't have the spine for a journalism career. Rory became an entitled brat in the revival but it's not that shocking since she was so used to everyone thinking sunshine came out of her butt that she never learned how to fail and pick her self up and brush herself off from her failures.

[@thatotherchannel7945]

The scene where they order a ton of Chinese food and Richard comments how it’s gluttonous to have that much food really sticks with me. Only having Lorelei to provide income, they always indulged on unnecessary things and I think it impacted Rory and put her in a bubble. She never learned to cook, even for quality time with her mom, or how to budget, and she never really got backlash for even cheating on dean. I’m not articulate enough to directly connect and say what I mean, but in many aspects of her life, Rory was coddled and praised for the simplest things

[@andychia3132]

She never had a spine to begin with, she's still bending over backwards for Logan, since now she's his Mistress lol.

[@christianblair8663]

I love the acting on part of Richard. You can see his face is mixed emotions, but the moment he drops his arms like that, you can read in his body language the frustration and disappointment. It's a ''Oh... I see now'' moment for him.

[@SailorIda3]

Let me qout a verry smart induvidual here on yt, "You can be right, but you can be wrong on the tone of your voice". It means that what you say may be right, but if you are so ignorant as to be unable to phrase it in a kind and gentle manner you will only make people ignore you and your points as you seem harsh and crule. THis tends to put people off and thats whatr happend here. He was perhaps right, but his tone might have been wrong.

[@booklover3341]

@@solarydays While I agree that Rory was put on a pedestal, I disagree that Mitch was in the right. He doesn't have to baby someone for his criticism to be constructive. As others have stated, his words and tone were destructive towards Rory. Instead, he could've said "Hey, your strengths are here, but you're weak here. Work on the weakness." not "You don't got what it takes. Get a new career."

[@SailorIda3]

@@solarydays If you as a professionall buisness owner are unable or willing to talk in a polite(adult) manner then I seriously wonder how you managed to become sucessfull, because clientell talk to one a other, rumors will spread etc etc. SPECIALLY if you hurt someone with money behind her such as Rory. Im not saying Rori didnt deserve to hear that she wasnt good enough, im saying that a professional GROWN person should be more than able to tell what he/she wants in a polite and professional manner. You can either say "Your horrible, fuck off" or something more along the lines off "You are not quiet at the point there we are comfterble having you work here. You need to improve in the A, b and C areas. If thats not possible you should probably consider a diffrent profession. Good luck out there." Both means you are fired, one is childish and rude, one professional and mature.

[@TrackerNeil]

Rory should have focused less on the tone and more on the message.

[@SailorIda3]

@@TrackerNeil Yes, a lot of people should do that but we rarly do, we tend to hear the tone before the message. And a older, experienced buisness man should KNOW this and therefor adjust his tone when talking to people. They both messed up honestly.

[@babe8917]

Yeah I always thought he could have said it differently especially because she was Logan’s GF but I think that is just who he is. He is frank and to the point. He doesn’t sugarcoat and some people don’t mind to get this kind of criticism, they even appreciate it but others are more on the sensitive side (I don’t mean this as shade, I am sensitive myself, which is why I always watch my tone when I criticize something/someone) and then you have to watch how you word things. My sister is someone you can be brutally honest with. She doesn’t get offended.

[@inessa5923]

As a post-gifted child, I relate 100% to Rory. And Lord bless my parents, but I will never do to my future kids what they did to me.

[@beestudies_]

the problem is that they always expected too much from rory, always calling her perfect, a prodigy, an angel. but it represented too much pressure to her to succeed and not fail, so when she does makes mistakes she feels like she’ll be a disappointment. many people in real life end up developing mental problems bcuz of that, such as depression, anxiety, procrastination (because they tend to be real perfectionists) and the need to please everyone else, but themselves. it sucks :/

[@k101-c8y]

Living their lives through someone else's life. It'd annoying and exhausting.

[@elladriver1267]

This is the exact reaction all those kids labeled as “gifted” had when they grew up. They were taught they were naturally perfect, and when they didn’t meet that standard, it’s the end of their world

[@Ernie1978]

Edward Herrmann and Kelly Bishop were so bloody brilliant in that show. Just brilliant!!!

[@ChrisAtheist]

I agree it was sad that herrmann died and couldn't be in the revival ,he would had made the revival much better

[@Roos.H]

The fact that people are hating on her “downfall” means that they expect her to be perfect in the first place. I get that people want her to be a perfect role model but she’s showing here that she also lacks a few things, like taking criticism. While i also was annoyed, I think it makes everything more interesting and obviously talked about more! The only thing that really bothers me is when she cheats with Dean.

[@LOVEAapjes]

That why i love the show. You can talk about it for hours bc they are all flawed :p

[@dulcelinea678]

yea what is it with the same "entitled and spoiled rory" comment, i mean, family and friends are supposed to encourage u to achieve ur dreams, so of course rory had the vision that she can do anything. what is so wrong with that

[@TheMarkmcr]

@@dulcelinea678 for most people, that encouragement means being taught to make an effort in life and stand up for yourself. For rory, it seems to mean "I'm entitled to get what I want"

[@0FynnFish0]

The point is that the show and almost all other characters in it try to present Rory as being that perfect, beautiful angel. It is obvious to us viewers that she's not and while the story shows her failing and basically proves Mitchum right, the in-story universe of characters never really do. That's the part that makes it so annoying.

[@elenrocha4102]

She is not and never will be enough for Dean. Ough, Rory always wants what's not hers.. It is pretty annoying! First, Jess, then, Dean's marriage and after grown up, Logan no matter what woman he was with (while Rory was mocking Paul). I think she suffers because she looks for it.

[@elviramontanna7449]

I feel like it was never right that she wanted to be a journalist. She was so smart but didn’t realize what it takes to be a one. Rory was always someone that I would describe as an introvert.

[@celebrim1]

All the journalists I've ever met are idiots. They are C students in high school that love feeling special and love working with people, but they don't have brains and it's not really a job for people with brains. Brainy people would bore and tire of it, and realize that so much of the job is just pretending office gossip is actually important. I don't think anyone should ever set out to have a journalism career. It's not a job for the young. It's a job for someone who has gone out and seen the world actually doing something, and then when they come back they have a perspective and understanding on something that they can share with other people. There are hardly any real journalists left anyway. We have a cavalcade of entertainers, propagandists, clowns and cons creating narratives for one viewpoint or the other, but none of them are the sort you'd trust to repair your transmission, do your plumbing, fly a plane, perform an oral surgery, or even do your taxes. They are no nothings that don't even know how little they know.

[@messymonster690]

@@celebrim1 bro calm down its a Gilmore Girls clip

[@BriaBarrows]

@@messymonster690 😂😂😂😂😂

[@sophiem3794]

@@celebrim1 I agree that journalism is honestly horrible. I felt the same way as Rory to be honest. I love writing and want to try to experience new things and write about them. I like speaking with people and having intellectual conversations. But journalism in the media worships celebrities and facts about people that we honestly do not need to know. It's pointless information that has no positive affect on society. People need to find ways to use their time in a good way so they can affect people in a positive manner instead of worrying about why Selena Gomez has a new boyfriend this month and how much surgery she had, if any. I have to admit, avoiding gossip can be very hard-- But I have fought it and now I am just sick of it. Time is of the essence and we've got to use it well. God bless you, my friend! I'm so glad I found a person on the internet who doesn't like gossip :).

[@Anonymous-gt1eq]

U can see how much love and pride Richard has for Rory the way he looked at her while on stage giving her thank u speech

[@peachstar2285]

Oh my gosh, Richard comforting Rory made me bawl my eyes out! My grandfather passed away a few months ago, he was my father figure, and was there for me more than my real dad. Don’t even get me started on the a year in the life!

[@cessnaespitia4150]

I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you.

[@veruca1234]

I don't want to be obnoxious, but it's killing me. it's LORELAI. not lorelay, lorelei, loreley. it's LORELAI. It's leviosa not leviosah

[@Sim0sama]

Ahhaha true ♥️

[@gracemekayla]

Lmfaooo u funny asf💀💀💀😭😭😭😭

[@leilaniz5909]

Yeah and if you read the description you'll see someone wrote "combinated" instead of "combined". The world is flawed.

[@lesbiangoddess290]

😂😂😂 not the Hermione line.

[@isabellab-c5351]

Lorelai is a different spelling variation on Lorelei (mostly used by Americans). The traditional spelling is Lorelei, a name with two theorized etymologies. First, it's the combination of an Old German word “lureln” meaning “murmuring” plus a Celtic word “ley” meaning “rock”.

[@whorable]

paris and mitchum both were right about rory in the end... yikes.

[@bianca.asmr1]

What did Paris say ab her

[@whorable]

@@bianca.asmr1 when rory got valedictorian at chilton in season 3 Paris told Rory that she did research and found a high percentage of valedictorians don't succeed later in life

[@bianca.asmr1]

@@whorable oh ya true!!

[@malorie8557]

@@whorable because that becomes their shining moment. Nothing compares after that.

[@bear6699]

no they weren't go listen to your shitty band

[@mrslundy1535]

I love that the series showed that Lorelai was always right. Since the pilot ep she was angry with her parents and she was annoyed by them. Not only because she thought they would try to control Rory but also she knew that no one could habe raised Rory like she did. And it proved itself. Their extreme dose of attention on her caused Rory to lose her way and her goal, forget what she realşy wanted to be. I think that is a great explanation of the back story of Rory's actions. She was just a young girl and she did not know what to do.

[@DCfan6767]

When I think of a reporter I always think of Lois Lane personality. Assertive bullheaded strong and will always fight back in a second. I know I know it’s a comic book character but Rory is fictional too. Anyway that’s not Rory she tries to be assertive but that’s not really her natural personality. Rory just wants to curl up with a good book. And she’s a great student. Rory would’ve been a great teacher but she couldn’t get over it being too ordinary

[@signalfire15]

Rory is a gifted writer and, too often, many gifted writers incorrectly assume they would make good journalists, because journalism is based on writing. But journalism requires personality as well. You have to be strong-minded. I think Jess set her down the right path in the end of the series when he encouraged her to write a book about her life and experiences. Interestingly, Jess was the first person who put doubts into Rory's mind about journalism. In the car ride right before they crashed, he told her that being an overseas correspondent seemed too rough for her... But the difference with Jess's acknowledgement that Rory doesn't have it vs. Mitchum is that Jess actually gave Rory constructive criticism by offering her suggestions on what she should do instead of just shutting down her talent completely. I think the seeds for Rory's eventual "demise" in the show were planted very subtly in the earlier seasons.

[@DCfan6767]

@@signalfire15 true but we don’t know that she’s a gifted writer. We are just told she is by the people who love her the most. But people like Mitchum read her writing and are not overly impressed. Which infers that she might not be a great writer.

[@signalfire15]

@@DCfan6767 We were also told her writing was impressive by the teacher in charge of The Franklin. Granted, it's a high school newspaper, but it's an award winning high school newspaper where the editors go on to win Pulitzer Prizes. But The Franklin shouldn't be compared to what Rory was aiming for, which was Christiane Amanpour. But my point is that she is a good writer, but she wouldn't make a good journalist. And Mitchum knew this. Jess knew this. And even her headmaster at Chilton knew this. Just based on her personality alone. She had the writing chops, but not the correct drive.

[@sophienye3192]

@@signalfire15 that was some very nice analysis there

[@signalfire15]

@@sophienye3192 thank you!

[@forthissh-3825]

I see a couple of people saying that Mitchum was right in what he said to Rory and I agree with some of the points made (perhaps journalism wasn’t for her, maybe her environment didn’t harden her enough). But I think we should also remember that Mitchum wasn’t just the owner/pdg/ceo/whatnot of the company Rory worked for; he was also her boyfriend’s dad. It’s rough on the ego to be told that you’re not good enough/you don’t have “it” by someone in your field of work. But imagine being told by a family acquaintance. It’s awkward at best. Also, for me the problem is that Mitchum is the head of a “prestigious” family that denied the possibility of Rory ever becoming a permanent staple in Logan’s life because of her background (the fact her mom had her in HS and iut of wedlock and then raised her without a father). I think what Mitchum was implying (that Rory wasn’t a good journalist [mind you she is only 20ish so there was still time to mentor her into becoming a better one if she had potential]) played a role in Rory’s downward spiral because it could also be understood that he thought Rory (either as a doting housewife to Logan or as a successful journalist) would never have a place in Logan’s life. And what’s better than your boyfriend’s dad questilnning your entire existence at 20, eh?

[@bellajewels]

In this scenario her personal relationship doesn't matter. If she couldn't take feedback/criticism from her boyfriends dad then she shouldn't have taken the position. He said in this clip he gave her the chance because he felt bad for the way his family treated her. But it is so anti-woman to say that because he didn't treat her with kid gloves it was because she wasn't good enough to be a woman in his social sphere. He gave her a chance and she didn't rise to it. If it were a guy and he said, "look dude, you just don't have what it takes" no one would be saying "be nicer". He was critiquing her job performance, which didn't rise to the expectations he had for his interns and he was honest with her. His personal relationship to her did not and should not have had a bearing on it.

[@emnabedi327]

Loved your analysis. Also your sarcasm 😂

[@milam3382]

​@@bellajewels it wasn't even criticism or feedback lol. idk why people demonize her when she didn't receive actual lessons or advice, it was simply a slap in the face. she reacted badly, obviously, but idk why people expect her to act like a perfect angel all the time. and if it was a guy, id have reacted the same. no one is saying she was denied because of her gender. regardless of her skill, he was unnecessarily brisk with her and while she didn't really make it as a journalist in the sequel, she was doing well in the Yale news for awhile. people are so quick to shit on her without really ever putting themselves in her shoes. she was brought up thinking she was perfect for anything and developed a superiority complex that most normal people who aren't as gifted early on lack. most gifted children like her can't handle negative remarks because they simply aren't used to it. shes not a great person but everyone commenting against her lacks empathy. it was even worse that they were acquaintances because he knows that he at some point would have to see her again so he could have been less rough with her.

[@elarhy]

Richard reaction at the start is SO annoying, she is at the door clearly upset and he goes "i'm in the middle of something can this wait", this Made me feel bad for Lorelai. He Even takes his time to return the hug!

[@wixhes5004]

The way she forced her grandpa to hear her is just show how much she needed someone to hear her out.

[@BionicGinger]

Me as a teen: I can’t wait to grow up and have a relationship with my kid like Lorelei and Rory! Me as an adult mother: Rory is positively INTOLERABLE and Lorelei (and Emily & Richard) made her that way, I am SO GRATEFUL my kid isn’t like that and our relationship is better than theirs!

[@fynnfish]

I feel like this would have been a great storyline if Rory realized everything that has been said in the comments and bounced back :( Or if she realized that journalism indeed isn't for her (in the first seasons, with her writing articles and all, it kind of seemed plausible, but they absolutely didn't develop her character enough for that). Her realizing that editing or wrinting is her thing should have been the focus of the final season. The whole meeting with Jess in the revival, helping her find her way, should have happened in the final season :( Also, Rory realizing that her grandparents handing her everything while she was living there is a bad thing should have been more important to her character development and it would have been good for several other reasons as well. first, she would have realized more clearly how suffocating lorelais youth must have been and that it is a wonder that her mother isn't totally spoiled (she's a little spoiled but for other reasons I think lol). second, it would have helped Rory's grandparents to understand what they must have been doing something wrong in lorelai's youth if even their precious Rory can't stand it there anymore, therefore helping fix lorelais and emily's relationship. Rory has an actual relationship with her grandparents, they had way better communication and loved each other, so her grandparent's might have actually listened to her if she said that the current situation and her own character/career development weren't going as they should be.

[@IAmAleksha]

I've been a journalist now for nearly 10 years and what Mitchum said to Richard is one of the most accurate depictions of the industry. 'You either have it or you don't'. That's not relating to skill, necessarily, but whether you can rise up criticism and push on against the tide; something that's even more apparent in the digital age.

[@shmaptainshmap5113]

Richard was the most caring character in this show and deep down he loved Rory, no matter what she studied or did

[@yaseminbasa888]

everyone is saying that rory’s character took the wrong turn but as a gifted child, i relate to her so much. her family praised her, bragged about her to their social circle and when she made a slight mistake, she was scared of them finding out and being ashamed of her since they had high expectations. the other day, i was daydreaming and not really listening to my family and my grandma asked if i was sick, mentally and/or physically. she asked me if i wanted to go to a doctor and i just had a mental breakdown for one hour. i am so tired of the pressure and i can understand what rory had to go through.

[@elvickRULES]

She did. The over praise isn’t why she slept with a married man.

[@erincosta565]

Totally agree with the assessment of Rory. She was so used to getting everything she wanted and being praised for her decisions, that the first time someone told her no, she imploded. That is an accurate reaction, although stealing the boat was a bit much. Being told no hurts, but you can choose to use it as an excuse not to push forward, or use it to stoke the fire. And many times being told no can put you on a better path. Rory has her grandfather wrapped around her little finger, and when the tears start falling, it is all downhill from there. Richard Gilmore maybe a hardened, successful business man, but he is a huge softy when it comes to his granddaughter.

[@mia-rh3xp]

Mitchum was literally right tho her whole life she was praised for everything she did and one little piece of criticism made her break she didn’t have what it takes, and you just gotta accept that this is the real world not everyone gets handed everything on a silver platter

[@AddBowIfGirl]

I don’t understand the complaints about Rory being praised too much. What is the healthy alternative? For Lorelei and the rest of the town to have put her down as she was growing up instead?

[@sarahw3961]

@@AddBowIfGirl a healthy combination of both, they needed to also make her aware of her flaws and actually hold her accountable to her actions(which rarely happened). Not getting “put down” as you say, if that makes sense :)

[@AddBowIfGirl]

@@sarahw3961 Can you give an example of how you mean? Don’t most first world kids have parents who are proud of their gifts and family friends who encourage them? Rory was a goody-goody as a kid, so what was there to criticize if you were an adult who knew her and her mom?

[@sarahw3961]

@@AddBowIfGirl for example when she stole the boat, people scolded her for a while and then immediately went into blame Logan even though she was the one who incited. Criticise wasn’t a good word to use it’s more about her getting held responsible for her own actions. The encouragement is fine, the problem is what just what I said above. Also the High school stuff was normal, she was a kid but when it continued she became an adult that it became a problem, never really learning from her actions because no one really let her (eg the Netflix sequel, and entire University arch) Boy that was long

[@AddBowIfGirl]

@@sarahw3961 But when people said she was praised too much as a kid, they’re meaning childhood and that’s what confused me. Stealing the boat happened way later in her life and she _was_ held accountable for it. Lorelei was pissed.

[@Haunt4maii]

Richard remains my favourite till this day, even at the start when he seemed to not care as much, his character development really improves throughout and I love how he had a soft heart hidden inside and how he’s always there, through all of it. I know his heart dropped when Rory cried in his arms about failing. He’s so humble but so caring and warm hearted and it’s amazing. Rest in peace, fly high as he has passed away for awhile now. 🕊️

[@Amandasbarros]

I don't think this part was her downfall, she never had a break from school, everyone deserves and need one

[@lillianfraijo6621]

Technically, she did have a break when Mitchum told her she didn't have it -- she immediately quit school, and moved in to her grandparents pool house. Yet was still able to graduate with the rest of her class. Amazing!

[@Amandasbarros]

@@lillianfraijo6621 ikr, the problem is on just the episodes of 2016

[@Alex-wl9xw]

I'll have a break from school and uni maybe after a PhD. People need to toughen up.

[@Amandasbarros]

@@Alex-wl9xw that's exactly what everyone who wants to work hard wants and think a first. Some people need a break, others does not. Does not mean someone's better than another one.

[@rini9936]

@@Alex-wl9xw just because you can go through it doesn't mean everyone else can without a break, youre only speaking for yourself right now lol

[@acvines]

Seeing this big man with integrity enraged over his mistreated granddaughter. Poppy you still find ways to talk to me. You are so missed.

[@manny9854]

It’s hard because she needed a mother not a friend. Her mother never gave her real experiences that a mother should and at first it was easy because Rory didn’t need it as much and didn’t realise she needed it but in the end it really affected her because she is deprived from that type of love.

[@diyaisintrouble]

when i watched this scene for the first time. I bawled my eyes out because it's so real. TV and movies don't do justice to the impact caused by academic or career related failure when 80% of kids and students go through it. The main leads always seem to be doing everything right and getting to all the right places etc This show hit real deep with the academic side of it and when she hugs Richard! gosh. i cried so much, it made me miss my grandparents :(

[@river6568]

She would’ve been so good planning events or even being a teacher, if she gets criticized you either work harder or move on and she just broke. She was so focused on pleasing everyone that she didn’t focus on herself

[@lanetamorris2784]

I just re-watched this series last year and felt so many emotions, emotions that I don't think I had the first time around. Was really a good show and resonated with me so much in my own life.

[@unorthodoxblackgirl8112]

But you can’t expect him to be honest and real with everyone, but when it comes to your granddaughter be nice. That’s not how it works!

[@MajorJJH]

You start watching Gilmore Girls because of the amazing relationship between Lorelai and Rory. You barely manage to finish the show (if you do in fact manage it) despite what becomes of Rory. But what you don't realise until later is just how important Richard was - the acting, his on-screen presence, the literal cinematic gravity he brought to a TV show role. This is one of those instances of Edward Herman acting well beyond what the show calls for, and elevating the show as a result.

[@Isabungaa]

This is exactly why this is a great show it’s literally life! Not everything goes as planned sometime your life is horrible the important thing is that Rory went back to school. She didn’t really learn from this experience but some people just don’t.

[@gabg3159]

I feel like every gifted kid that grows up to be average understand her. It's not only her hopes and dreams falling apart, it's people's expectations about her as well. Gifted kids always feel they need to fulfill the expectations of those who believe in them, and it's painful when we realized we failed.

[@jif635]

Tbh as much as Rory's character was a mess in later seasons, I don't like the idea that Mitchum was right, I think Lorelai was right in assuming that he got her that position so he could unfairly and quickly assess her, it seems like something a man of his position could and would do, quickly crush this not-good-enough-suitor so she'll dwindle and fail and reaffirm his biases/preconceived notions about her.

[@filmolivefilm3571]

I feel like Rory’s peak in high school is due to the constant praising she receives from people which not only gave her a false outlook in life but also caused her fall under pressure easily and generally feel pressured by the people who constantly praise her to be perfect