RiffTrax: My Mother Was Never A Kid (Full FREE Short)

Mothers just show up as mothers... right? Find out with Bridget and Mary Jo!
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[@drlee2]

"Didn't she ever do anything wrong, ever?" "Well, she had kids!" LOL

[@LeCrosse]

Came here to say this! 😂

[@TophinatorStreams]

Biggest accidental mistake you’d ever make. Thank God, I’ve avoided having any problems of that magnitude, running up my bills and taking my food. Couldn’t be me. I have money.

[@WVUer21]

"Want a cigarette?" "They're gluten free!" I don't know why, but that's hilarious.

[@chrisnemec5644]

Reminds me of an ad I saw advertising beef as gluten free. 🙈

[@deirdre108]

It's organic too!

[@chrisnemec5644]

@@deirdre108 So is poop, but I don't want to have that.

[@Kornknealious]

It makes them sound healthy..duh

[@RB-fu5of]

😆😆😆

[@abborne1]

I love the Bridget & Mary Jo content. They bring an angle of mundane relatability that seemed more prevalent in MST than in the guys' Rifftrax. "It was MULTIPLE CHOICE!?" chef's kiss

[@troywright359]

I usually skip over B and MJ content, but glad I watched this one

[@bigJovialJon]

What gets me is that lady on the subway working on the same hot pad holder for 30 years without finishing it.

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

Or possibly worse, for 30 years she's never graduated past trying to make a potholder. Her house has like 1000 potholders

[@rewing84]

Is she still working on the potholder

[@Thinminteater]

Honestly the short itself was so cute, made even more delightful by the rifftrax ladies

[@AtheistPirate]

Nice going, Victoria. Now we're stuck in a timeline where corn isn't grass!

[@julieporter7805]

And where we Shake Hands With Danger (Dadoodadoo dah!)

[@skrag2112]

7:33 Whoa! Did anyone else think for a second that she woke up in a universe where Germany won WW2?

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

Yeah wtf was with all the German stuff?!

[@5roundsrapid263]

@@skeetsmcgrew3282 It was a poster about watching out for German spies. They were in New York City at the time.

[@the_once-and-future_king.]

That would have made a much better movie! She then goes back to the future and denounces her deeply uncool mom to the American Gestapo. While smoking a cigarette.

[@johnrudy9404]

Yep

[@DevlinDomini]

“I wish more after-school specials took place in The Twilight Zone.”

[@lauranolastnamegiven3385]

...or...just let your kid also watch The Twilight Zone (my childhood) :)

[@Oppeldeldoc1]

"I accidentally changed the outcome of World War II." This must be the only time travel story set in the 40's that has nothing to do with someone even trying to do that. Which is pretty original, really.

[@Morhek]

"Nasty disgusting things, glad I never was one." ~ Miss Trunchbull, "Matilda"

[@Adamguy2003]

This special's title immediately reminded me of that line!

[@bree9272]

I watched this as a kid in the 80s, never thought it would end up riffed by Bridget and Mary Jo so many years later!

[@BubblegumLightsaber]

As someone who absolutely loves the movie The Bad Seed (the original '50s one), the line "your sister Rhoda Penmark wants to show you the roof" made me guffaw

[@andieallison6792]

Same

[@BernardoGarcia-rw9lx]

"Sooner or later, every young man hears the sound of a defeated woodwind" That was brilliant

[@ElizabethBattle]

That was the best.

[@Shicksalblume]

"Well, she had kids." Thanks, Rifftrax. I'll make sure you get notice of my funeral for death by laughter.

[@sleepyhollow783]

Loved the Twilight Zone feel of this short. It was gosh-darn swell. Cool concept. The riffs, icing. Glad RT brought this short to other viewers, giving it a new life.

[@deanfiora4227]

This film is the ginchiest!

[@theadaptationstationmaster]

I like to imagine that after the credits rolled, Mom and Daughter went and bonded by shoplifting some more just like in the good old days.

[@fromvault801]

Man, don't you also hate it when adults appear sporadically out of thin air without going through puberty?

[@uthertheking]

It's the only way I would have accepted the multiple seasons of How I Met Your Mother, if the mother had been in a state of constant gradual realization throughout the series before being completed and thus completely met.

[@Adamguy2003]

Didn't Ms. Trunchbull in 'Matilda' say she was never a child?

[@deanfiora4227]

I hate it even more when adults never get out of puberty.

[@Skinn-Tuh-Lor]

I just saw the thumbnail and I’m like, “this has Bridget and Mary Jo written all of it.” 😂😂😂

[@atziloth6903]

Boy, ol' Bob Zemeckis sure did a good job with the reboot on this special, didn't he? So well it turned into three movies, in fact! I guess if you add a Delorean everyone forgets about the original.

[@BeeWhistler]

They’ve all been in my head as a set since I was a kid. Marty makes a lot of the same discoveries and a few no one should ever make…

[@TerrenceNowicki]

@@BeeWhistler They both say "this is heavy."

[@JP-re9xj]

This short is based on a book, according to the credits.

[@charlenebaganzmoore]

6:30 I died because I am at this stage with my oldest. Got to love parenting little versions of yourself

[@heyeveryoneimcool]

Brad Fiedel the composer for the Terminator movies scored this thing

[@EricOehler01]

I just noticed that. Mind: blown. God I hope it’s a shared universe. Skynet sends Victoria back to the 40’s to kill John Connor.

[@lisah-p8474]

@Eric Oehler My Mother Was Never a Sentient AI

[@tarlcabot2519]

Fright Night, too.

[@adrianlee3497]

And mom was Charlie Sheen's mother in Two And A Half Men.

[@marklechman2225]

"I might have accidentally changed the outcome of WWII" 😂

[@crowtcameron]

At the end when it showed the credits it said that the music was done by Brad Fiedel. He's best known for doing the music for The Terminator and that also deals with time travel!

[@wwiiinplastic4712]

She should have blown her mom's mind by revealing details from the past during their end scene walk.

[@Notes02Self]

I love Rifftrax and I don't care who knows it!

[@Cheetimus]

This was a pretty well produced short. I was legitimately distracted from the jokes by my investment in the plot!

[@Adamguy2003]

"Didn't she ever do anything wrong?" "Well, she had kids." ROFLMAO!

[@KairuHakubi]

80s teens were so much cooler than anyone else. When I was growing up as a 90s kid, I always hoped and expected to grow up into an 80s teen someday like in the movies and shows... getting to go to malls, have dates, friends, adventures..

[@SiiriCressey]

Chewing gum loudly while talking on the phone for hours.........wearing enormous hoop earrings..........ratting their hair to impossible heights........

[@user-os7ec4dm8x]

@@SiiriCressey Hey leave us alone it was all our mom's fault!

[@KairuHakubi]

@@SiiriCressey Well, only that last one. When that abruptly went out of style midway through the 90s, I got nothing but shit for the rest of my life. But my hair still looks better than theirs, so they can just eat their hearts out and gag me with a spoon. also if I'd had friends maybe I would have talked on the phone with them.

[@SiiriCressey]

@@user-os7ec4dm8x Like OHMYGAAAAAAWD! Totally!

[@deanfiora4227]

I was an '80s teen. Trust me, we weren't that cool.

[@SiiriCressey]

Is nobody else going to bring up how the film just glosses over CeCe's reaction to her new friend disappearing in front of her during an air raid? No wonder she kept the test hidden in her desk all those years. Seeing it again would have triggered traumatic memories.

[@troywright359]

Yes, I agree, I wish they would have handled her transition back to the present better

[@biggeek2256]

Bridget and Mary Jo shorts are the best

[@susanpumphrey354]

19:05 "This is like a claustrophobic introvert's version of hell." Fact check : True.

[@brittnar]

Generational trauma, the short! Great job with the quips!

[@SiiriCressey]

It seems to be low-key about stopping that cycle.

[@CinnamonGrrlErin1]

This takes me right back to 5th grade when we watched this after reading the book. I was so jealous of Victoria riding the subway alone lol

[@WhatHaveIMade]

Who would have guessed that the actress who played the mom would end up playing another mom decades later - on Two and a Half Men?

[@zatoichi1]

And the composer, Brad Fiedel would go on to write music for another time travel film, The Terminator.

[@susanpumphrey354]

"Grammy, you're old again!" "Oh, it's that Dollar Tree botox." 🤣🤣🤣

[@snowballsimpson3887]

I think Bridget and Mary Jo are among the best at riffing. There is something so natural and fun about them. Would love to see more.

[@LB-gz3ke]

I agree. They always sound like two friends just having fun and cracking each other up. I realize it is all very well scripted, but they make it seem very spontaneous.

[@snowballsimpson3887]

@@LB-gz3ke Exactly! Always a delight to watch them.

[@markiangooley]

You can tell they were on the writing staff too…

[@woodsplitter3274]

Yup. They have a different take and style than the guys.

[@lindaeasley5606]

I think they are funnier with female characters and issues they riff on 😂

[@DouglasJohnson.]

Another Bridget and Mary Jo short? Count me in! :)

[@bubbamorrell9812]

Love Bridget and Mary jo

[@llJRLL1979ll]

Meh

[@Rubberbandman0529]

@IIJRIL Yeah, they’re OK, but they’re not as good or funny as the guys

[@davidwalter2002]

Now we need a sequel to show the science teacher's creepy kid all grown up.

[@RBXChas]

I was legitimately concerned that he was going to end up being her dad.

[@zatoichi1]

Nah... her dad was the creepy off off Broadway director that got her mom her first gig.

[@Filmation77]

Smokin in tha LADIES ROOOOOM🎶😁

[@SiiriCressey]

At least this teenager seems to be being played by a teenager.

[@stephen3164]

And the grandmother was played by John Cleese!

[@Memelord2020]

Like how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are now being voiced by actual teenagers

[@JeremyKonzJames]

"Oh cool. A manual Roomba!" Hahahahahaha

[@classiclife7204]

According to Wiki, Bob Zemeckis got the idea for "Back to the Future" in 1980 (took several years to get to the screen). As this amusing short was made in 1980, that fits. The story was based on the first novel by Francine Pascal, which probably explains the better-than-usual quality

[@HailAnts]

I remember watching this when it first aired! Mostly because I thought the girl in it was cute, and because of the scifi-ish time travel story. Years later I noticed its similarity to _Back to the Future_ when it came out, but I've never heard anyone mention it. As far as after-school specials go this was pretty good. Most of them actually were..

[@SteveCarras]

I dyed too. Two and a half men’s mom holland Taylor is in it too!

[@zatoichi1]

I saw on the credits Brad Fiedel did the music, composer for the first two Terminator movies. Guess he has a knack for time travel films.

[@simonster-9094]

At 11:08 she basically paraphrases Marty McFly's "This is heavy."

[@tom1644x]

Wow, Holland Taylor has had a long career!

[@louisdellalucca8969]

I don’t know why, but the whole “I need Plutonium!” Line made me laugh so hard!

[@kingfish4575]

That was actually a very nice short.

[@jaywv1981]

It really was. One of the better shows/movies they've ever riffed.

[@childrenofminervaofficial4316]

Robert Fuest went from directing The Abominable Dr. Phibes to this? Jeez.

[@Louie-Crunch]

The Queens of Rifftrax kill it again! How come Mom doesn't remember hanging out with a girl who looked, acted, and dressed just like her daughter way back in the 40s before girls could wear jeans?

[@zoeyrochellezhombie829]

Maybe mom's memory was erased the second the subway went back to its original era. The mom from Back to the Future didn't remember meeting her son when she was a teen.

[@Louie-Crunch]

@@zoeyrochellezhombie829 Time travel makes my head hurt.

[@JamaicanCastle]

It's probably all the acid she dropped in the 70s.

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

@@zoeyrochellezhombie829 She did kiss a dude like ten minutes before she met her future husband. Maybe she just didn't want to admit she was a bit of a hussy

[@ThatGovrnmntBoy]

The timeline here is confusing. Is Victoria's mom in her 50s, with two daughters in grade school? That seems.....unusual.

[@RobotoSan]

This is a really good short, not sure why the sequel "My Mother Was Always A Kid" never got made though.

[@fromthecheapseats7126]

It did . . . in Afghanistan.

[@RobotoSan]

@@fromthecheapseats7126 Didn't know about that one, but discoveremembered they did make a sequel in the UK. It was called Absolutely Fabulous.

[@corneliashields9202]

This is 33 minutes cut down from the original length of 46. I remember watching this back when it aired and there was a scene with an obnoxious little boy that Cici tells to "drop dead twice" who Victoria in a voiceover is appalled to realize is "my wonderful Uncle Steve." I don't know what else is missing. This version doesn't give the feeling of anything missing but just to let you know it is. Actually, I just found a full length version without the sarcastic comments on Internet Archive. Wish I'd looked there first.

[@timothyrcurtis]

When I saw the credit for the director it looks so familiar. Then I just realized that Robert Fuest directed The Abominable Dr Phibes!

[@lisah-p8474]

What an incredible filmography.

[@Alfje17]

4:05 "I have just the thing to perk you up" I was expecting a gin or booze-joke there, but then the plague of frogs at 5:35 absolutely got me.

[@adrianlee3497]

She was running for the shelter of her mother's little helper, because it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day.

[@shannondore]

Omg!🤣 I remember watching this when I was a kid. Having it get the Rifftrax treatment was awesome!! Do more after school specials.

[@SteveCarras]

I did too

[@cicadathegod8277]

I love the fact she was more worried about a goddamn test than the hecking air raid

[@blueseanomad7435]

I bought this one and thought “this is a good story.” I enjoy the riffing of course, but it’s just “sweet”

[@Kornknealious]

I didn't know cigarettes came in the gluten free variety! OMG< this has to be one of the best Riffs ever!

[@Mr72Dolphins]

So bummed. I really thought "Back to the Future" was an original script! This is wholesome

[@elizabethhouse9454]

Funny riffs! I remember watching this on tv in 1980. At age 12, I thought this was wonderful.

[@JD-xt8cj]

Hilarious episode! Man, we watched so many Learning Corporation of America films at school in late 70s/early 80s

[@tanisdevelopment]

The little sister played Carol in the "Growing Pains" pilot. It tested badly with an audience. I guess she got the blame because they re-shot all her scenes with Tracey Gold and the rest is history. I wonder what her two word response would be if anyone told her to "show me that smile again".

[@guybrush1701]

"Based on the book"? well that's terrifying

[@puddingskin100]

nearly choked on my own spit at "Jesus is listening"

[@Endocrom]

Turns out Ross and Monica are the result of a time paradox

[@fernomoo]

I used to show this movie as a reward in the 80s.

[@Teatime4Tom]

I missed a lot of the jokes due to the short actually being watchable. Sorry, B & MJ. I'll watch it again.

[@JamaicanCastle]

24:19 A girl gang holding up gas stations? Somebody get Ed Wood on the phone!

[@dsprocks]

I would totally move to girls town, some body needs to do the heavy lifting for those ladies 😉 Mamie Van Doren RAWR hubba hubba whoa momma! Why can't all women look like 1940s pin up girls? 🤣

[@Kinnakeeter]

Rifftrax needs to be released on a physical format, DVD or Blu Ray "I'll go back to the future but I am not touching his mcfly" Just for that line alone

[@Popebug]

They sell DVDs on their site

[@mudvalve]

Nice riffing ladies! As someone who enjoys time travel movies and tv shows, I am familiar with this After School Special. I always liked to think that at the end, mom’s ability to become “more like friends” to the daughter was due to her involvement in her mom’s past. That’s just my theory, as the show never verifies it.

[@shampooh8r]

I remember watching this movie when I was in 7th grade. Though I thought it was a little bit longer.

[@MrGadfly772]

"Sooner or later every young man hears the sound of a defeated woodwind..." Mary Jo is too funny.

[@wcharliewilson7004]

Holland Taylor, who plays Victoria's mother, was born in 43. The dream sequence happens in 44. The late 50s would have made much more sense..

[@SteveCarras]

19:00 As lovingly choreophraphed by Shirley Temple.Victoria is so cute with that bow on hair!/ At that dance scene!

[@Merylstreep1949]

It's the Marty McFly syndrome where the parent had no memory of meeting their child as a teen

[@alex.r.g]

This is the best short I have seen yet. By far. It’s really funny and cute.

[@jonathanwashington6083]

Did y'all know that Francine Pascal wrote this short?

[@Merylstreep1949]

Oh hell yeah! The two funniest ladies outside of the 🇬🇧 UK

[@RarebitFiends]

Agreed, and all hail French & Saunders.

[@Merylstreep1949]

@@RarebitFiends French and Saunders are the business! So is Prunella Scales and Catherine Tate

[@goldenagenut]

All joking and riffing aside, this and most of the other old educational films they riff have a definite positive message, important messages that children don't seem to be getting nowadays.

[@jorgezarco9269]

I thought this was going to be Z-grade junk, but I enjoyed it. You can see the seminal influence on Back to the Future(1985). The same author gave us the Sweet Valley High books. In the 1977 book, Victoria was caught smoking marijuana!

[@mintghost]

That was super cute actually!

[@JamaicanCastle]

1:07 I went to high school in the 2000s and this still looked cooler and more modern than it. 😭

[@bunnymud1972]

What a wonderful belated X-Mas gift

[@johnh2262]

"Amscray Abybay" had me dyin at the end 🤣🤣🤣

[@gooniesgirl1979]

Francine Pascal passed away July 28.

[@cathare4909]

Edit** Attention all! The mother is the same actress who plays Jane's mom in George of The Jungle with Brendan Fraser! That chick who plays the mom is someoneni recognize from a movie my long term memory has been working on for 20 minutes now...who is she??

[@cathare4909]

George of The Jungle!!! She's the mom!!

[@deanfiora4227]

"If you want to be treated like a grown-up, you have to act like one. You have to take responsibility for yourself and stop making excuses." Are you listening, approximately half of 21st-century America?

[@JohnSmith-zw8vp]

But then it's like, well if "acting like a grown-up" means being a narrow minded judgemental old killjoy prude then forget it!

[@dmrr7739]

My god, this is the _Apocalypse Now_ of Learning Corporation of America shorts. The director went millions over budget, constructing an entire WWII-era New York- miles of subway lines, fleets of pre-war vehicles. It was supposed to end with a massive bombing by the Luftwaffe. After that, Victoria would have slipped into Germany and assassinated Hitler, but they ran out of money and had to go with the dumb “lessons-learned” ending instead.

[@brettwolfe7479]

lol @ "Mike lets me stay out til 10."

[@troywright359]

This is actually a really nice short. I would have liked it if the mother said she named her after her crazy friend who came over once, and the air raid transition could have been smoother, but still not bad

[@torgman]

1944: CiCi was 14 1981: Victoria was 14 So, when Victoria was born in 1967, CiCi was 37. CiCi is 51 in 1981.

[@ethzero]

She was adopted! "Mother" wasn't putting on a foreign accent.

[@torgman]

@@ethzero ???

[@the_once-and-future_king.]

Victoria opens the hidden drawer and discovers a miniature radio and several code books. Written in German. (Twilight Zone theme plays. Fade to black)

[@dunbar9finger]

So... In 1944 grandma enforced a curfew of 9:30 on mom because of the air raids. Air raids. In New York. Wow, German bombers had a longer range than I thought.

[@JohnSmith-zw8vp]

I think they were just being cautious.

[@algomaone121]

This is the prequel to “Setting Up A Room”...(Victoria and CeCe are the future teachers)

[@courtneywoodbury5198]

Hearing a Pat the Bunny reference made me smile. I don't remember it, but according to my mom that was the book I drove my parents CRAZY with.

[@Cybele212]

Music by Brad Fiedel. Wow.

[@tuckerbowen4626]

y'know as hilariously riffable as that short was, at the same time it was also kinda heartwarming in the end

[@GymbalLock]

26:46 [air raid siren] "that's what all moms sound like to teenagers."

[@diannemose244]

"This is worse than working with Charlie Sheen"😂

[@CoconutDaddy]

It's Tom Hanks Boss On Bosom Buddies!

[@dngillikin]

Thank you. That's where I remember Holland Taylor from.

[@BobCat0]

No one noticed the end credit for "Dance Consultant - Shirley Temple"? Sad.

[@ccjuju]

"Air raids?" "Lady, it's time to get on the clue bus..."

[@fishjones4618]

That gal in the beginning sounded like a Red Sox fan complaining about the lineup with all her “wicked’s”.