Roasting The Iron Hands…the ONE Legion Who PEAKED In High School

Delve into the cold, mechanical depths of the Iron Hands Chapter of Space Marines and get and idea about what makes them tick.
With their mantra, "The flesh is weak," the Iron Hands have become a cautionary tale of grief, bitterness, and overcompensation. From their relentless drive to replace biology with machinery to their tragic losses at Istvaan V, this roast lays bare the contradictions and struggles of a Chapter torn apart by its own obsessions.
Explore the downfall of the legendary Morlocks, the tragic elite Terminators who epitomized strength and unity before their annihilation, and question what the Iron Hands truly envision for their future: a perfect mechanical warrior or a hollow shell of what they once were.
This tongue-in-cheek yet sobering tale examines the Chapter’s fall from glory with sharp humor and biting wit.
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This is a fair use fan fiction work. All original characters copyright: Games Workshop.
#Warhammer #40k #SciFi #IronHands #Warhammer40k

[@MuerganoZFG]

Great one too. You should make one about the Thunder Warriors.

[@CrispyCrusader0.o]

"Yeah but who needs biology when you can have a servo arm" -The Iron hands

[@GrimdarkKing]

True words of wisdom that could have been pulled from the Mechanicus handbook, right there. Just don’t forget the sacred lubricant-nothing screams heresy like a rusty servo-arm in the middle of combat.

[@CrispyCrusader0.o]

@GrimdarkKing 🤣

[@jtmcavoy]

To only take the fights with odds stacked in their favor, looks like you have the perfect description for the video!

[@GrimdarkKing]

That’s a spot-on observation. Their military doctrine often emphasizes achieving a favorable position before committing resources, whether through attrition, overwhelming force, or tactical maneuvering. But in practice, many battles are fought with desperation and grim resolve, where survival is victory enough. It’s a testament to the resilience of humanity-and its enduring brutality. What’s your take on how this approach shapes the Imperium’s long-term survival?

[@jtmcavoy]

@GrimdarkKing it's a calus strategy, but it let's them keep their numbers up (campaigns, kills, and Marine recruits) . On the other hand, it lacks faith in the master of mankind and faith in his creations. The Iron Council needs sit down for a session of soul searching with some grimdark psychedelics, let them reconnect with their humanity and imbrace it, or have a bad trip and get ravaged by demons.

[@jtmcavoy]

@GrimdarkKing I see their way of waging war is short sited and will lead to more tension between the chapters, not as bad as the Fallen can be but ultimately shorting the lifespan of the Imperium.

[@SindyanNoble]

I think a great unused topic for a story would be a Culexus assassin. There is hardly any stories about these horrors.

[@clementnade972]

Waiting for the Iron Hands to fall to a new Chaos god.

[@GrimdarkKing]

A new Chaos God? Maybe ‘Mechanivor,’ - the Chaos God of Broken Dreams and Spare Parts, rising from a pile of discarded purity seals. Iron Hands: proudly one servo malfunction away from heresy.

[@xeniosaias]

My favourite Chapter ❤

[@GrimdarkKing]

Good taste! The Iron Hands may not do emotions, but I’m sure they’d appreciate your ❤-probably by replacing it with a cybernetic upgrade, just to be safe.

[@jtmcavoy]

I had to come back and ask if you could roast the Dark Angels, their track record with allies is even worse. They have a rockstar father but they act like the "Troy" who was bi in his college years and is afraid of anyone finding out.

[@GrimdarkKing]

Your wish is my command. It's now up and running here: kzbin.info/aero/PLn1vOm7E9PR4bbjY4SaplbmyhL7cLpTvp

[@jtmcavoy]

​@GrimdarkKing I saw it uploaded before I noticed the reply, thank you! Already watched!