I Didn’t Want to Live

[@WISDOMSTRENGTHDISCIPLINE]

I broke my neck in 1979, i was 17. Wow it is been 45 years ago. I still have moments when i can't help but wonder what my life would have been without my injury. Looking back on all that i have accomplished since my injury and all the wonderful moments i have experienced I find it hard to believe that i could have done more even though had to do it with a body that made everything more difficult. I too was an athlete and i miss waxing my buddies on the basketball floor or running down a beach in my bare feet in the sand. Ultimately i have learned these are not the experiences that define us. They simply enhance this life experience. Your bravery and courage is off the charts. You have made me a little ashamed of myself because i could never do what you do. I could never film my struggles and share it with the world. In fact i never talk about it except with my closes friends. When you are in your 60's and you are looking back on your life and your babies have babies and you think about all the wonderful things you have experienced and accomplished in your life you will see that these things you mourn over Ultimately just were not that important. You will be an amazing father and a wonderful example of what a real man really is. You will pass your courage and strength to your children and they too will be amazing. I wish i could meet them. YOU ARE A MONSTER MY FRIEND YOU ARE HUGE AND YOUR INJURY WILL NEVER CHANGE THAT. BE BLESSED !! Charisma you are a beautiful and charming he is lucky to have you. my girl is a planner as well it is a wonderful quality..

[@denisedean2446]

Cole was an active athlete and very young when he became a quadriplegic. His anger and depression is understandable. His outlook on life is very inspirational. This was so emotionally raw but his message so heartfelt and honest.

[@tujadili]

The North American culture brings up children in a highly competitive, individualized culture and less communal interdependence hence the emotional and psychological effect when one can no longer participate in that environment.

[@reapersphantomofhell]

Cole showing his raw emotion over the mourning of life before the injury is such an eye opener and for anyone it shows you it’s an on going journey. Thank you for being so brave to share it.

[@coleandcharisma]

Thank you for your support ❤

[@tiffanyandco4156]

@@coleandcharisma hi is the telegram really from you guys or am I going to be scammed!?

[@halimahussein8805]

DATHE yusufyusuf yusufyusuf yusufyusuf yusufyusuf yusufyusuf

[@user-ld1mr8zg4f]

I came across your channel randomly. Thank you for your content! My brother was in an ATV accident 3 1/2 years ago and became a paraplegic along with many other challenges due to internal injuries. He has overcome so much, but still has a way to go. Your channel is incredible helpful! Thank you!

[@mariasirico7365]

You guys are the most beautiful couple I know ❤ much love and happiness to you both forever !

[@jordangrice3565]

I don't think you realize how much you are helping people when you discuss these things on this level. Bless you both and your incredible journey.

[@mothermarie6057]

Yessss to this comment!!! 🙏☀️🥰

[@jjacinto132]

So agree! This was informative and presented so well.

[@foxysnowwolf4134]

I still feel like that to this day so I definitely know how you feel I still get all choked up just thinking of much I did before my accident and how independent I was and how much my fiancé and I used to do together. I am just so lucky that I still have him in my life, I was still surprised when he proposed to me even though I had my accident, but yeah to this day is still hurts but I just now I gotta keep going. I really do hope one day that my fiancé and I can get to a point where you and charisma are at right now. I just don’t know what to do to help in a way that we both can work together, like to get a job or to live together, since I am still living with my mother who is my caretaker. My fiancé. And I have been together for 12 years I just want us to be able to live together where I’m able to help too Pretty much like how you two are you both are like my goal for my fiancé and I to aim for So sorry for the very long message but I just wanted to say also thank you for sharing your life with everyone you guys are so amazing can’t wait to see the next video take care

[@mothermarie6057]

@@foxysnowwolf4134 I said my prayers for you and your fiancé ♥️🙏

[@coleandcharisma]

This comment means a lot. Thank you so much!

[@golden50snomad52]

Grief has no expiration date. Thank you Cole for openly showing that & explaining how your mind & life changes, but your grief is still there, it changed as you changed.

[@Usapatriette]

Well said, Golden50s Nomad.

[@golden50snomad52]

@@Usapatriette Thank you sis.

[@coleandcharisma]

Love this comment! Thank you!

[@bleonard1803]

Man, this is probably one of the most real and vulnerable videos I’ve ever watched and I have to say I think a lot of people will benefit greatly from this. I was born disabled and I even go through situations like you described even to this day. Seeing this video has really helped me to see that it’s ok to have these feelings. I can’t thank you guys enough for opening up so much and sharing this with us.

[@coleandcharisma]

Sending you so much love! Thank you for your kind comment ❤

[@hanifahm.7997]

@bleonard1803 just love yourself more everyday❤️❤️❤️

[@katelynnorrie3106]

@@coleandcharisma yhall are amazing glad you guys do what you do on here much love for you both and Charisma you are amazing rock on!

[@briannamorales6722]

Me too. I was born with cerebral palsy but I still found the video helpful ✅💚

[@---BAM---]

The way Cole was looking at Carisma, when she was talking about getting to know Cole when they first met was so beautiful. 💗 You two are so sweet. Thank you for sharing.

[@marshacurtis4814]

What a beautiful couple. You are both amazing xx

[@radiumlyte]

I went through a similar situation with my sci injury. It hurts to sit in a chair for more than 5 min, so I lay in bed instead of sitting. Some days I just don't want to get up. But I watch these videos, and it motivates me to get out of bed and be productive.

[@feed-our-souls]

May God make it easy for you

[@Usapatriette]

I hear you, as I feel the same as you, having advanced MS.

[@divineencounter8896]

Use STC 30

[@chimstembo2274]

May the Lord give you strength to carry on🙏

[@coleandcharisma]

Sending you so much love!!❤

[@mruggier0]

Geez I cried when I saw Cole being so emotional talking about his former self before his accident. Horrible accident that changed his life . But you have a beautiful outlook on life and wife who loves you for you. Your determination is inspirational to many.

[@SHEILAIGLES]

Its ok. Not to be ok.. we all have our struggles 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@elainebines6803]

Perfectly said, bless you 🙏❤️

[@queentinadoire6931]

Amen.

[@vilmawatson5443]

Bless🙏🙏🙏

[@Usapatriette]

Yes, of course, we do, but all of our struggles vary in degree. And very often with SC injuries and other neurological conditions, it's not okay. That's just a fact speaking as a person with advanced Multiple Sclerosis (MS), a debilitating, disabling, progressive neurological disease involving the brain and spinal cord.

[@Ffollies]

@@Usapatriette Oh no, sorry to hear about that. Wish there were cures for these kinds of terrible diseases. Hope your remaining life can at least be as comfortable as possible and you can make the most of it. We all have a limited life to live, then we will be gone forever.

[@julievaldez21]

I think my biggest take away from this video is to never assume what someone needs. Thank you for sharing! You guys are such a lovely couple 🫶🏼

[@nesemac]

You are so right

[@ridingtheroad185]

Thank you both for being honest! Grief never goes away, no matter what we're grieving. It's learning to live with that grief and how to live a new way.

[@vilmawatson5443]

So true....absolutely👍👍

[@suzanne296]

Agree

[@mlo9797]

Riding the Road thank you so much for saying those words I just I have a son he was a normal 30 years old men suddenly I saw he’s not the same son I use to next thing I learne he has a mental health that hit me so hard I feel like i don’t have nothing on me but my other children say the same thing you say your words give life thank so much

[@ridingtheroad185]

@@mlo9797 My heart goes out to you and your family. Love being sent your way.

[@kimbermichelle3922]

I don't have a physical disability but more mentally, after losing my son but you're helping me and I'm so grateful you are sharing your life. You have done more in life with your disability than I've done in my years on earth.

[@kembakirton3176]

Sorry for your loss. Your son will always be a part of you, your special angel watching over you. Continued Grace and Peace to you and your family. God bless.

[@leokamil6284]

Sorry for the loss

[@TheDufteLady]

So sorry for your loss🧡

[@kathleensaenz4717]

My heart goes out to you in the loss of your son. Someday you will be reunited....

[@saraanderson6615]

Sorry for your loss.

[@TheWheelchairDad]

Love this so much. Made me cry. So many real truths in this video. When Dan was in the hospital after his injury, he searched online for ANYTHING to give him hope and found nothing. So so so thankful that so many of us are getting positivity out there for people to cling to in their darkest days… like you said, WHEN THEY’RE READY! We love you guys. ❤❤❤

[@coleandcharisma]

We love y’all!! ❤

[@jessicagilispie5777]

So many prayers for you both!

[@michellemartelly5169]

Yo pa ka arete m paske mwen se youn sitwayen Ameriken

[@angryyank]

As a quad that has been in a chair for 29 yrs in less than two more months... I still remember about who I was before I was injured and who I am today..... It still hurts to think of where I might have been or where I could have gone before I got hurt but.. I go and watch rodeos & watch football and other sports and yes it hurts to know I cannot do those sports anymore..... But I DID them & those memories make me smile & those memories can NEVER be taken for you... Being in a chair is a kinda like a steps process... we go through different stages along the way... Do I miss who I was before I got hurt? Yes... Do I wish I could go back & be able bodied and having that life back?? Honestly No I do not.. I have come a long ways since that horrific day but It made me the man I am now.... I would NEVER change that for anything in the world

[@queentinadoire6931]

It's okay to cry Cole. You've also gained everything back- your life, your wife, your family, your faith, your subscribers, and your acting career. I sometimes feel this way while fighting and winning depression but the important fact still stands- WE'RE WINNING!

[@melbaalexander9475]

Yes you win

[@kimsealy3633]

Agreed 👏🏾👏🏾👍🏿👍🏿

[@mariasirico7365]

Very healthy to open up we are all humans ….God Bless you and your beautiful wife Charisma ❤

[@jaylene.turner6524]

Cole, I’ve not been injured, but I’ve been disabled with spina bifida since birth. I feel every emotion you talked about, and absolutely agree with everything you and Charisma said. It’s a REAL struggle some days to keep going. Just want to thank you both for this, and for your honesty.

[@Bmaki539]

I remember when you 2 started dating and how as a man you learned how to let Charisma help you. You guys were so cute and it was great watching you grow up, start dating, getting married I love you guys.

[@cannotbesaidenough1971]

Feel what ever you need to feel Cole whenever you need too. You are walking in your shoes. Walk in them your way on your terms.

[@jessicaostrom8460]

They are so in love it is palatable. The adoration and respect they have for each other is obvious.

[@constancemutemi3432]

Love and respect to Charisma for letting Cole 'ride' his mourning' moment without interfering or interjecting but by just offering if he needed more time. This shows how much she loves and understands Cole. This was a vulnerable but powerful and wonderful moment. A very informative video. Love and God's blessings to you both ❣️.

[@hernameispekka_Rebecca]

This! They let the emotion have it's space!

[@dominionpeace]

Love you both sincerely. I pray to God who saved your life will also perfect your health because He can do All things. God bless you 🙏

[@bparr1999]

Having encountered drastic health changes and decline the last few years, and while being so young, it really hit home when you said you mourn your able bodied self. It’s something I have found people can find hard to understand but my goodness did you make so much sense to me. It helps to hear that it isn’t an abnormal process to go through. Thank you so much for this video ❤

[@sjariciamercera86]

Amen

[@coleandcharisma]

It’s not abnormal at all! Mourning helps you heal and grow. It’s okay to feel this emotions!

[@bparr1999]

@@coleandcharisma thank you :) sometimes just hearing that it is okay can help you just that little more through the process. I’m learning that it’s important to feel what I’m feeling and express it.

[@alwaysleasinginc1251]

Damn bro you are such an inspiration I have cousin with similar deformity and he is really young. I am encouraging him not to be afraid and at the same time open a KZbin channel. Show the challenges that you go through. He is 13 years old and trying to be strong with his situation. You are a lucky lad you found the love of your life who accepted you and also you should be happy you are changing many lives and also encouraging people to come out of fear. It’s okay to be different.

[@lauriestanevich93]

I cried with you Cole😢​@@coleandcharisma

[@UppityOne]

Cole, I do not have adequate words for how you make people feel. You make us feel lighter, more free to live in our truths. Thank you for telling us how we can truly help others. You are a light.

[@themessiahsdaughter]

Amen

[@debramedina9347]

I feel your pain and I’m crying with you. 30 years ago, my mom was driving to work and got in the middle of a police chase. The drunk driver hit her and she lived as a C5 paraplegic for 15 years. She had total nursing care, she was paralyzed from the neck down. Cole, you are blessed, you can get around and Charisma assists you when needed. My mom died in 2004 of pneumonia, she drowned, the nurses couldn’t help her clear her lungs, she request DNR. I like to watch how you transport yourself and you have the best support to reach higher levels. I’m soo happy for you and Charisma.

[@stormfire2528]

My nephew was hurt playing football in high school. He is now a Quad as well. It took a while for him to get his drive back but he is now a driving force to kids coming behind him. You are such an inspiration not only for quads but for those of us who have loved ones that have had Sci's as well. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have not suffered near what you guys have so you encourage me as well.. Stay encouraged both of you and continue your positive journey.... Oh and P. S. I love your love. You guys are simply adorably beautiful.

[@michaelramirez5473]

Your video brought me to tears I’m a quad myself, and your very lucky the support u have I have a big family and no one ever helped me or offered a helping hand they kinda just forgot about me , my wife was left with dealing with making me ramps and remodeling the room with watever skills she had She’s my biggest support and I love her for it. I’m grateful for her. All I ever got was stay strong aswell and you will be ok and I didn’t wanna hear it I wish they would offer to help my wife with revocations or just anything . I feel u cole I’m a c7 quad just 1 year in. Love your content your AWSOME

[@gayfrogsociety]

Well in case no one has told you yet, its okay to be upset. Its okay to not be strong sometimes. Let yourself feel because its going to come out some way and its better its on your terms. Its obvious you are strong, grateful and staying positive- so give yourself permission to feel the rest too. And I pray there are more people who find a way to support you and your beautiful wife. You can cry, man. You are strong enough. You got this 💚

[@WISDOMSTRENGTHDISCIPLINE]

Talk to your family they may want to help but don't know how. You need to lead the way remember this new for them as well. Be open and honest and very specific about your needs you maybe surprised at their responds. After that if they don't help move on there are a lot of kind people in this world who would love to help you search them out so you can easy your wife's struggles. just so you know i am a c4 quad...good luck !

[@stacycushey9946]

Gosh, I cry when you cry Cole. I don't even know you 2 but I feel like you're my family. God bless 🙌 🙏

[@donnafrederick8596]

Hi guys............Parham here....THANK YOU Cole.....Thank you for FINALLY letting ME CRY. I've been "with you" guys since day one and I love you & admire you both very much. But since the beginning, there were so many moments that I FELT like crying, but I did not, could not, because you both were being so STRONG & so...I stayed strong with you; that was the plan so I went with it also. But I cried when you cried, and it surprised me....I didnt see it coming either, but it was something I held back since the first video. So thank you & now thats out of the way so, keep it movin', keep brightening up my days & start working on your new house!! Congratulations!!

[@angco9]

Cole you are spot on when you said it’s up to the individual when they are ready to open up about their disability! It’s been hard for me to go from being an able bodied person to now disabled! I’m still learning what I can and cannot do! My family has been my biggest supporters! I will keep praying for you and I ❤❤❤❤

[@lorettahiggins3717]

As I listened to you share your experiences I felt paraIlels with losing my husband Mike to cancer almost seven years ago. People, with good intentions, tried to use religion or activities, etc.in order to help me to "move on" or to "move forward". I didn't want to hear ANY of it! I was too filled with unbelievable grief, anger and the loss of the life I thought we should have had together to listen to them. You and Charisma have built a wonderful life and have found joy, as I have, but the grief is always going to be there and ambush you now and again, like it did in this video. The important thing is to try, every day, to take steps to move forward with positivity. I work on that each and every day, as I'm sure you do. Wishing you an abundant life filled with love and more happy days than sad ones. ♥

[@lindamoore2950]

yes!! I am a chaplain who works with trauma patients and their families. it's extraordinary to me, when I tell the recently injured patient that he/she can be angry at god, the universe, etc... i get so mad when someone tells my patients/families "you just have to pray. you've gotta have more faith. you can't be angry. you can't question god". thank you for sharing.

[@tamarabeck6350]

I sat in the parking lot of a medical center yesterday, after my bazionth test saying I just want to be normal. I want the prior me back. It’s not going to ever happen, which deeply saddens me at times. I’ve learned to let it all out, even scream in a pillow, then attempt to shake it off, and try to accept what is normal for me these days. It ain’t easy! Thank you for sharing your journey.

[@chant2day]

Thank you Cole for letting people know how the person feels. I woke from a coma and could only move my head. My husband asked me did I want visitors in the ICU and I said no because I didn't want to entain people, or have a dog and pony show. Just t0o damn tired. I went to rehab at Sheltering arms and people don't realize how tiring and hard it was to work out 3 hours a day. You hit the point when you said you are in survival mode , making small goals for yourself. I had PTSD big time when I went home and was able to do things again. Suddenly the whole trauma came crashing down because your are NOT now in survival mode. It was similar to soldier coming home after surviving a war. Also I suddenly realized like you said it's not just you but the whole family that went through the event, rehab, took care of you etc. My husband can not talk of that time even 5 years later.

[@Daisy-Girl0021]

Show those emotions my friends 💛 We're here for the journey y'all are on..the good and the bad!! Much love to you both... Cole I loveeee the way you look at Charisma every single video I watch ❤️‍🔥 BEAUTIFUL...

[@arlenemaxwellcopeland1644]

Evolve in a dramatic way, what a powerful statement!

[@lilman0820]

Cole is the most real person I have ever seen Simply love these two

[@Sparkl4860]

You are such a positive person. Thank you for being so authentic. You are truly helping so many. The life you have built with your wife, you are showing the world that things do not have to be perfect. You can live happily ever after. You are a teacher and a guide. You are a lightworker. You are a true gift to so many. Thank you for your guidance. You are right, you don't need help, you are a guide. What a gift. Perfect Match!

[@coleandcharisma]

Thank you so much!!!❤

[@MJ-gj6mj]

As a caregiver, this first hand experience really helps me to be more compassionate and hopefully a better person. Love these videos, love y'all's love. 💕

[@rivkahmiri513]

Right on Cole... grieving is important. My mobility has changed and I have CP and it's really difficult to accept. I've lost a lot of Independence. I'm trying to find someone new to help me with personal things that used to be able to do. thanks for validating the grieving process. This is a great video. also about the dating when I've been on speed-dating things everybody always focuses on my chair. Cole, I'm actually a licensed therapist I'm trying to find ways I can use my skills and not feel like I'm under major pressure because I process things slower and differently. When I got my license I didn't know how difficult it was going to be to use it in the way that I want to.

[@Sunnypeach]

I feel the same way as well with having cerebral palsy and realizing that my body & balance isn't as good as it used to be. It was & still is at times to ask for help with certain things. Thank you, Cole for sharing & allowing us to see this is a normal part of life with having a disability or life-changing illness. It's ok to still grieve for our past mobility & past abilities even if life is going great.

[@michaelevans1193]

Loss, of any kind, is not a journey with an end. It is a never ending path with twists and turns. Sometimes we need to guide people along the path, sometimes we need to follow people on their path and sometimes we need to carry people along the path. Bless those who walk the journey with those suffering loss, for we all will be there some day.

[@kenquilici8193]

Cole it’s ok to cry, I’ve been injured 36 yrs and I still do at times. Sometimes I feel you do get over your injury you just become able to deal with it!

[@bradpogue3448]

Cole and Charisma I’m so glad that you talked about this subject. Many people don’t understand how to deal with it. You both are rockstars. You both are such amazing people. Keep up the great work god bless

[@tookitogo]

12:37 When I was 10, my mom got sick with Guillain-Barré syndrome and was in the hospital for months. She pulled through, but my memory of it is a blur. During that time, my grandmother (mom’s mom) stayed at our house and took care of me and my sister. Apparently, during that time, people from all over the neighborhood, including many we did not know, helped out with things around the house, dropped off cooked meals, etc. Those little things really make a difference.

[@AlrebeccaBarenboum]

Dear Cole, you are amazing!!! Its ok.... tears You are very strong, we love YOU!!!!!!!!!

[@LP-km7gj]

These videos are so important. It’s easy for able bodied people to say “be positive” “it will work out”. Us able bodied people need to read the situation and not just dismiss our loved ones emotions to make us feel better just because it hurts us to see them go through it. ❤

[@lesliecurtis89898]

You two are a blessing I've been sad and depressed almost all day, you guys cheered me up! I would love to love like yours ❤️ no matter the person everyone deserve to be wanted respected and Loved , my children's father was a quadriplegic he lived for 11 years I understand!!

[@debireitknecht6302]

Wow! Cole, I think you are amazing person. Stay strong!

[@Kieran113]

This is my favourite video from Cole and charisma this might make me watch their content on a regular basis. They seem much more real and relatable in this video. A big thing for me is they admit that you can't always stay positive through every situation, personally I hope they reduce the amount of times they say in the phrase stay positive in their videos. I like how they are giving and taking in this video instead of trying to overpower each other in conversation. They also do not see over happy like they do for the majority of their videos I just find them easier to relate to and to connect with when they're discussing stuff calmly like this.

[@janewestcountry5131]

It must be SO hard to have first experienced life as a fully able bodied person before the rug is pulled out from underneath you and overnight you have to adapt to a WHOLE new different life and a whole new different you ! No doubt this struggle will continue for Cole throughout his life. Accepting these changes doesn't necessarily mean that you have to embrace them. So my advice to Cole is a little different. Grieve for the person you once were, yearn for the future you once dreamed of. That's ok. You're making the best of the here and now ...and that's all anyone can ask of you . It HAS to be enough. Take care...warm thoughts from England. ☺️

[@mabeediamond2666]

Sending you Cole my warmest hug. You are one of the bravest people I know. Watching you thrive under the circumstances has made me get out of my depression and try to live each day to the fullest. My battle is colon cancer, many a times I wanted to give up n didn’t see the point of living with all the unknowns. You have been one of those people whom I admire and grateful for. N having someone like Charisma is more than a blessing. Because there are many people who do not have anybody there to cheer them on. I wish both of you the best in life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 🤗

[@milli6415]

MABEE AM SO SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR STRUGGLES, HOPING YOU ARE GETTING THE BEST TREATMENT AND HOPING FOR RESTORATION OF YOUR HEALTH...GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU 🙏

[@lyndamaewilson3453]

You brought up things I haven't realized... wanting to be supportive and helpful but not having the knowledge to know how. Learning how to be helpful is important. Most of us don't learn before hand. You brought to light how to in a much better way. Thankyou

[@jaym2015]

Cole.. one of THE STRONGEST people I know.. God bless you both 💕

[@bellaendale2765]

Thank you both for 'going there.' Thank you for giving me the words to say when i want to help so that I can be a blessing and not a burden. We appreciate you both. ❤️

[@ruthejohnson511]

i just found you and am soooo glad.... i broke my back just above my waist 20 years ago (at age 57)and was paralyzed from my waist down... i spent months in rehab and learned to walk (sort of) and listening to you tonight was so helpful for me.. i too mourn the body i had... as a single mom it was hard not to able to be the mom/ grandma i used to be but my 2 kids have been really great thru all of my journey.. as i age things are going down hill for me and i'm having to ask for help more which is hard for me to do...but i'm learning it's not a bad thing...thank you so much for this video... i'm going to go back and watch all of your older ones

[@lettiegrant9447]

You're going to really enjoy them. Even the one where he proposed to Charisma. Both their families are just a lot of fun and so encouraging . Cole's brother Quint is so hilarious. We love both their families. Such a joy to watch. You'll enjoy all their .😊

[@brendamawenu]

This video has allowed me to feel OK about the continual grieving for my husband...there is no time frame for grief. My heart still breaks from losing my husband of 21yrs..even as I write this I feel a flood of grief envelop me but I know it will pass..thank you for sharing 🙏🏾

[@tookitogo]

::hugs:: First off, I am sorry for your loss! It is totally OK for you to grieve as long as you need. As I’ve heard others say, it doesn’t ever end, it just becomes less and less present. And there will be moments where it’s really strong, and others where you don’t think about it at all. And that’s all OK. What I hope is that your time together was full of wonderful moments you can think about warmly. And that, when the time is right, you find someone else to share your heart with. (My personal belief is not that our hearts have enough love to divide amongst loved ones, but rather that the amount of love in the heart can grow as needed. Nobody can replace someone you lose, and if you meet someone else, you’ll grow “new” love for them, and the love for the person lost stays intact.)

[@gailsgig]

Charism, you are so thoughtful, smart, deep thinking, beautiful, and so supportive! Cole is a lucky man to have found you! I admire and respect you both so much!!! Thank you for sharing this. You never know when life may turn, and this is a strong foundation for many many people to think about and try to understand even well before they may need it!

[@lawsoncabell]

The first person I ever knew well who had suffered a spinal cord injury was injured due to a skiing accident. It isn’t always the case, but very often, the injury occurs in the context of a display of physical prowess. I cannot claim to understand how that would affect you but I am inspired by the full life you have made together. Trauma, loss and general bad stuff does tend to influence the people we become. All I know is that we never just get over loss so when you describe your experience in those terms, I understand what you mean. We either learn to live with loss - in which case, we may develop greater insights and empathy than we would have otherwise- or we give up and die. You appear to be living your best life. However you got there, wow. You are miles ahead of many who have not been injured and who have been around longer. Your openness about your experience is surely inspiring hope and confidence in those who may not know how to proceed under similar circumstances. This is also very helpful and educational for those of us who want to be supportive without sounding condescending. Thank you both for your candor and patience. ✌️

[@tricepnm8590]

Thank you both for being so transparent. I love listening to your testimony Cole and you just don’t know how your platform has blessed so many people across the world. This is you guys ministry. ❤

[@billroberts3864]

I am certain you both have blessed many folks around the world. Blessing to you.

[@JA-tp1zr]

I’ve had to watch this twice, because I felt it for Cole and couldn’t help but cry too. Your strength Cole is your honesty and yes you have the right to feel emotional given what you went through and still going through it. But wow, I admire your tenacity, humanity and your strength in living your life to the fullest. Charisma is remarkable as your support, your wife, friend, confidante etc, etc. Keep smiling, because it’s so infectious when you do. ❤

[@lianne1593]

Thanks so much for posting this. I lost my legs in an accident 8 years ago now (was 27 at the time) and I still mourn every day. And I've definitely benefited from learning not to overstretch myself into what I can do now that I'm not just a bilateral amputee, but also somebody who lives with the way the trauma of the incident and surgeries has affected me, so people being gentle with their encouragement and desire to see me push forward to great things they've seen other amps do is totally important, as you say. Love how you emphasise that the importance of communication between you both might be more pronounced because of being inter-abled but it not being a transferable value to other couples, too.

[@marynamurray9385]

I'm also mourning my previous "life" daily and for the past 10yrs since losing more and more of my mobility due to a degenerative spine. It's so great of you to share your feelings!

[@Harper_lucille]

As an OT who has been working in hospice for the last 2 years, I share the same message you share with my patients and their families. You're allowed to live in 2 places at once. Grief and Joy. Sorrow and Appreciation. Thanks for your perspective and honesty.

[@pamferguson1870]

This is one of your BEST videos. Not only were you sharing about both of your journeys but gave us SO much to think about… not only in terms of reaching out to people with disabilities but to all people needing our help and respect. I loved your raw honesty.

[@lindamoore2950]

what a gift you have provided in this video. C&C, thank you for your words of wisdom, tears of emotion, and sharing your life long experience. I am the lead board certified trauma chaplain at a level 1 trauma center (In fact, I did my training at VCU). i work with trauma patients and families and witness everything you are sharing here. I am so glad you talked about your grief and the distress you felt just after the trauma. My trauma patients will have families and friends who come to the hospital and say "you're going to be great. don't think about it. no reason to grieve. you'll be great!" They are not allowing the grief to have it's time. And, as far as how to help, what poignant words and counsel you provided. I encourage families to write down what they need done, from cleaning to laundry to lawn, to pet sit, etc...and have that list ready for each person who says, "Let me know what I can do for you." Patients and families have a hard time accepting help as well. The information you provided in this video will make a world of difference! Cole and Charisma, if you're open to it, I would love to have additional conversation with you on what worked best for you and your family during your hospitalization from the emotional/spiritual perspective. As the chaplain who provides the emotional and spiritual support/services for trauma patients and families, you have already helped me by sharing this video. thank you!! Linda moore

[@imscanon]

I had a new neighbor who was in a wheelchair and one day he was outside, his car wasn't working so I offered to take him to get parts and we became friends as I drove him around where he needed to go before it could get fixed. It was several times before I simply asked if he was in any pain as I wanted to know that in case it was relevant and he told me he'd been shot 30 years prior but was not in any pain. He was a cool dude but I didn't ask any more questions about it, just carried on, learned how to take the wheels off the chair quickly and all that to put it in the car. Two months later I noticed I hadn't seen him in a week or so and found out he'd died of a heart attack and found his obit. It had been watching your vids that I knew what to do or not and say or not and I think he appreciated just an easy friendship not making a big deal out of his limitations. I even figured out how he could get to the laundry room as from our side of the building there were stairs to get up there but if he went out the front and down the sidewalk to the side of the building, there was a ramp, He was so happy not to have to go to the laundrymat. I never treated him like he wasn't fully capable but just quietly offered a hand when it was helpful. I miss my friend even though I'd only known him a few months. Thanks to YOU guys though, I knew how to be his friend, so thanks for that.

[@pdenise777]

Your raw emotion and transparency are a blessing to me. Thank you for allowing your story to bless others!

[@EmpressChernobyl]

I totally get this. I’ve had health problems and because they’re “invisible” I’ve had struggles from internalizing people telling me “You don’t look sick…” and so for a while, I refused to admit that my body and brain were doing different things. Seeing you guys live life is so encouraging and seeing the ups and downs let’s me know that that is a part of life and new chapters. You’re appreciated!!! Cyber ((((HUGS))))❤

[@saraanderson6615]

I suffer from some invisible health issues and I live with pain 24/7 and I get so tired of people out there that make nasty comments if they see me parked in handicap parking and using a riding scooter in grocery store. One time a lady said “she looks like she doesn’t need to ride in a cart” what the lady didn’t know is that I have bones rubbing on bones in my neck and back because I have no cartilage between bones! Sometimes I just want to smack people!!

[@EmpressChernobyl]

@@saraanderson6615 Same here. I had a couple of people harass me in accessible parking before, too. Before I could hang my placard up they were tapping on my window. Some people try to demand you to tell them your medical history. It’s not that hard to be civil ☹️

[@cbryce9243]

@@saraanderson6615 Having an invisible disability too gets a lot of stares, but I've gotten to the point where I don't even notice if others are looking at me anymore. I just live my life and move on. Try not to worry what others might be thinking and if they say something snarky, don't even acknowledge them. Or you can be snarky back and say, " you don't look stupid either". I don't recommend it, but it's fun to think about.

[@cbryce9243]

@@EmpressChernobyl Simply tell them to "call the cops". When and IF the cops come, they will ask to see your ID and your disability card. They look and usually say, "thank you and have a good day". So far that has only happened once.

[@JAYARE30]

LET THOSE EMOTIONS OUT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN MY QUADRIPLEGIC BROTHER. I'VE BEEN A QUADRIPLEGIC FOR 25 YEARS NOW AND I STILL GET CHOKED UP FROM TIME TO TIME TELLING MY INJURY TESTIMONY. BLESSINGS TO YOUR MARITAL UNION AND GOOD LUCK ON BECOMING PARENTS.

[@ioranaaloha4676]

You don't have to be strong all the time. You have all the rights of the world to be sad and miss yourself on your old you. Nobody understands the pains physical and emotional you are going tru. You are so young and so strong even something you don't feel strong and just want to cry and go to bed and feel you!! God bless your beautiful wife and your beautiful soul!

[@jowilliams2323]

You all are so transparent, thank you. Charisma, you got me with the scarf. I had to rewind to see what happened because I looked down for a few seconds and it was gone. It was cute!

[@oluwemimoolatoye5561]

I noticed that too. She gat a liddle restless...🤣🤣😄🤩🤩🤩🤩❤️

[@claudettedavis9842]

This video is great for ANYONE who is going through life’s challenges…. Illness of various types, mental illness, depression, personal loss, etc! Thank God for the strength this couple/family has.

[@Le0_da-Li0ness]

Cole is such a dope soul !

[@tookitogo]

14:28 This is such a good point: when someone is overwhelmed emotionally, they may not have the headspace or emotional energy to actually take you up on a general offer for help; it’s too much to think about. Offering simple yes/no questions for things you see them needing is immensely helpful.

[@darla.7484]

I think the most wonderful thing to come out of your situation Cole is, well of course life, and secondly Charisma. You are blessed to have each other and I love watching the friendship and growth in your relationship. Stay positive!! 🥰

[@8074sam]

Cole, you are an amazing man, and your journey has blessed me greatly.

[@maryross4437]

I believe Cole is thankful. I believe he is grateful, but we also know he is human. I see his strength also.

[@brendamichel7486]

Thank you for this, I just love watching you two! My situation is a bit different, I was diagnosed with cancer in April 2021. It's not curable but I'm still here and my life is forever different. I look at old pictures of myself and think "Oh, that was before cancer". I think I'm just starting to go through a mourning of my old life and it's tough! You give me hope. I remember when first diagnosed, somehow the word got out and my phone rang constantly, sometimes from people I hadn't talked to in years. I finally quit answering the phone, everyone had advise - eat this, don't eat that, watch this video, try this supplement, etc. I know they meant well but I was super overwhelmed at first (still am some days). This grief is now part of my daily routine, sounds like it's part of yours too. But we're both living a life worth living. Blessings to you both! Keep rolling...

[@Melissa_P23]

It is ok to be emotional over having to live a new normal and mourning the life you had before the accident. Just know that you are so inspirational and the love and support you both share is beautiful! ❤️❤️

[@patgrant8881]

Coles sharing was so heartfelt. I’m sure many will be supported by his words and emotions. God bless you both, you are the best you can be for this part of your journey.

[@mariebrown1878]

You guys are two bright lights!!! always enjoy watching you guys keep shining that light!!! love you both

[@bridgittadams2426]

What a beautiful message I love that how yall spoke about how you are feeling about your injury and I totally agree to help the family and thank you again and ,God bless you both and Charisma you are just glowing my dear friend I love you both and stay positive and be bless and have peace ✌️ ❤️ 😊

[@francesknab9709]

Speaking from experience when or son was injured the community support was beyond expectations and we are so grateful. All you are saying is exactly what my son has been through and continue to go through. I just wish your videos would be a requirement for ALL able bodied people. Thank you for your continued sharing.

[@deepadixit1822]

Thank you for this honest, helpful and important video ❤️ you are both such beautiful souls

[@globalconcern4995]

Thank you for being so honest. I still have my battles. When I'm going through a bad patch one of the worst things to say is," do you know how many people are worse than you?" My answer was you can tell me about that person, when that person is you.

[@Bexatronica1]

Thank you Cole (and Charisma), truly appreciate this. Much love.

[@josieyearall7498]

What I love about you Cole and Charisma is your honesty. While it's not nice to see Cole upset, we know he's being real and I think that helps more than always seeming upbeat. I love your videos keep them coming

[@sybilmcpherson2240]

Thanks for sharing that traumatic time, Cole! Oddly, God spared me the initial trauma part. I woke up in my crushed car feeling euphoric and a voice said, everything will be alright. The feeling of having seen and spoken to a high benevolent power (God) carried me thru my rehab and first year! There have been highs and lows over the 33 yrs - mostly highs! But it u r right, it feels like a different person and a different life. I sometimes think of the before times, but i feel like my life has been very full. I agree that the choice about going forward in this life is always up to the individual, and i work each day trying to ensure that the supports that i had and u have are here for others - so maybe when times r darkest, they'll see a glimmer of light...

[@priscillasmith7262]

I can tell that Cole allowed himself to go back to that moment and really feel what he was feeling back then. I love watching Cole and Charisma, and a "true feeling" moment for Cole doesn't make me think he is unhappy with his current life. He is being true and honest.

[@nancyshantz]

Thank you so much for the advice! The timing is perfect ! I have a friend she and her husband were traveling in Africa when she fell 12 feet from a bridge coming off a boat. She needed surgery , still has no feeling in feet. It must feel like a long way from home, they live in On Can. 🙏 continue for you and Charisma as you sacrifice a lot of things, however you make the best of it! Blessings!

[@consecrated4u]

This is my first time seeing this, and I follow you guys. And Cole this is the first time I saw this reaction. I think I came on when I saw Charisma helping dress you, etc. I have worked in rehab units, and have seen patients throwing things because they finally reached the breaking point. One incident where staff rushed into the room, and ask if I was ok, did I get hit? I said I am fine, but it was not about me, it was about the patient, and continued on my care for that person. The only I said to him was, " I am going to ask a stupid question, ok?' And he looked at me, looked at his paralyzed legs, and we both laughed so loudly. And we both started to cry, and I gave him a hug, and whispered to him..."One day at a time, at a time." Afterwards the following days were more successful and purposeful for him. He would see me and say....."Hey Ms._____ Is this a one day at a time? Can I take a break!" We both laughed because he was having a frustrating day. And I said, "as long if I don't have to duck!" And he wheeled off into the sunset as I call it! I love watching you guys videos!!! Keep up the good work, and I am looking forwards to the next chapter!😉

[@tinamurphy1326]

Sweetest couple, ever 💓 I, actually, got pretty choked up when Cole had his moment of thinking back to that very hard time, early on in his rehab/recovery from his accident. It seems as though there are a lot more happy, positive times now, thankfully. It's amazing to think how, with all of us, the course of our lives can change so quickly. Obviously, such a huge positive is Cole & Charisma meeting, falling in love and now living life together as they prepare to create it and welcome new life and love into their family, as well. I'm just so happy for both of them & can't wait to see what lies ahead ❤️🩷❤️

[@billroberts3864]

Cole, your words are such an encouragement to me. I had a stroke and it changed my outlook on life. I wish you and I could have talked as I lay in the hospital bed after my surgery. I had wonderful nurses and doctors but I needed someone to talk with who really understood how I went from a positive, happy-go-lucky man to someone who is premaritally changed. Blessing to both of you.

[@chrissyfoley7361]

Thanks for this video. I'm a baby boomer and I have always been an open book, for the good or bad. :) Also Cole..don't be embarrassed because you're emotional. God gave men tear ducts too. I'm a huge feeling person and cry more than I like, but I've learned to embrace it. I know it's different for a guy, but it shouldn't be. As a Type1 diabetic for 55 years I try and educate people also. There is a lot of bad info about my disease. Keep doing what you're doing!! Much love to you both.

[@ladyreverie7027]

Cole, you're such a beautiful soul. Thank you for being so open about how you feel

[@reonnaadams2365]

Thank you for being so candid and honest. You are so blessed to have such a supportive wife and family. Your story helps so many people and we can see the love that shines off of you two. You all are such a beautiful couple. We all are learning so much from you too from the advice from Cole's injury to relationship and everything in between. I love your sharing and many blessings.

[@NaturalMc2011]

Cole your Strength is amazing. Your God given Strength is amazing. God makes no mistakes, your testimony is saving lives. You are a blessing.

[@marjorielouis1429]

It is ok to feel like that.

[@euniceolawoyin1041]

I see your disability as an ability,for you engage in activities people in same condition like you wouldn't engage in. I'm nursing some health challenges that reduced my abilities ,osteoarthritis that affects my vertebrae column both lower and upper back,earlier in my life I engage in preaching the good news ,still do but not as much as I do in my early twenties till early fifties,that can bring me to tears,but when I remember God wants our best that we can give I feel relieved and pray for renewed strength for each day. Your courage to move on and inspire others have boosted my morale more too.And your slang 'Be positive and Remain positive' So never give up nor be too emotional about the wheel chair, but be grateful to the Giver of life and its sustenance, pray for renewed strength ,energy, peace of mind everyday to live each day as it comes.You have a good support in this beautiful woman ,Charisma .God is your strength and succor and hers too Psalm 55:22,Hebrews 13:5-6,these verses are my watch word,see if you can be helped more by it👍👍👍👍🌹🌹🌹🌹.

[@jonathanwilson2109]

Cole you have really inspired me God bless you

[@blackberry84]

as soon as you said "I'm crushed"..i was finished! it brought me to 😢 . i watch you guys all the time but never comment. you inspire me so much and just wanted to send love from London x

[@blackberry84]

@OfficialColeAnd.Charisma SHAME ON YOU SCAMMER