r/Bestof My Wife Abandoned Our Baby to Die

[@winterdemon1]

I'd rather be married to a pebble that treated me with kindness over a diamond that treated me like a punching bag.

[@JamilKhan-xu9fo]

No "pebble" who treats you right is a pebble that's a diamond and vice versa.

[@KarmaTube5]

@@JamilKhan-xu9foI pronounce you husband and pebble

[@HiAgainTheNameIsStillAyle]

​@@KarmaTube5You may now kiss the rock

[@sabrinasugar2819]

Jokes on her though. Diamonds aren’t actually valuable, people just think they are. So that actually is a pretty accurate view of herself. I hope OP finds someone who will actually love him and their kids.

[@rubyred6169]

@@sabrinasugar2819 I think the joke's on her is that she views herself as a diamond, but she really doesn't bring much to the table in a relationship. OP holds a job and a money. She keeps threatening divorce, but in reality, he has more power than he gives himself credit for. If she doesn't have a work history, it would be harder for her to provide for the kids and a judge might not be keen on leaving the kids with her as a result.

[@mustachiolps1623]

A partner refusing to do therapy for the health of themselves, let alone their marriage, is a major red flag for me. If you truly cared about your partner you would put your pride aside to work through the issues.

[@DianaWanMa]

What you said is true but I read that for sociopaths (prolly narcissists too) is worse to go to therapy, because they get tools to manipulate people even better

[@ramenbomberdeluxe4958]

But this is how delusionals who hate accepting the concept they can be wrong operate. They step out of line, they attack you for no good reason, and when you finally defend yourself, you're treated like the scum of the earth despite the fact that THEY were the ones who started this shit to begin with :/

[@lorilancaster5917]

I wish OP would start recording these altercations with his wife. Between him going to counseling while she refuses, her verbal abuse, etc. is grounds for divorce and possibly OP getting full custody. He’s a single parent already so what’s the difference?

[@survivedandthriving]

@@DianaWanMa Agreed. My mother is somewhat like the wife in the OP. She and my dad went for therapy. Two results: 1) my mother manipulated the therapist into agreeing that all of the problems in my mother's life were caused by my father, except for the ones caused by me (the black sheep) and one of my sisters (the scapegoat). 2) my mother better learned how therapy worked so that she could better try to sabotage the healing efforts of the rest of us. She was partially successful. About 60% of me and my many siblings got enough help to leave and go LC/NC. The others continue to kowtow to her - partially from the brainwashing, and partially in the hopes of getting whatever is left of the inheritance after my golden-child brother is done robbing their estate (parents are still alive and he's already doing it). Therapy is great for those with non-cluster-b brain wiring. And, it can be a red flag when someone is not interested in going - and really, for many of us it is fear and stigma rather than pride. But, for the Cluster-Bs therapy is just a game that they use to manipulate the therapist and those around them.

[@eddiekalista3222]

I was in a very bad place mentally. My wife gave me the ultimatum of get into therapy or get out of the family. I got into therapy.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 I heard this one before. So many people were making excuses for the wife. If op left the children in what he thought was a home invasion they would be screaming to leave him and never let him see the kids again. The double standards need to to stop.

[@Diamondr11Blue]

"But her mental health!" Edit: yall this is a joke imitating biased reddit excuses, that's why it's in quotes. please dont excuse shitty behavior😭

[@Connor-ONeill]

I know you're being sarcastic, but that would be another reason why she shouldn't be trusted with the kids.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

for real even Rslash is bad about the double standards sometimes in a recent AITA post, apparently, OP is responsible for his wife being spineless and placating to his abusive and monstrous daughter instead meanwhile, if the gender roles were reversed, he would be screaming "divorce" I'm glad Rslash isn't completely beyond redemption so that he can see who the problem is here pretty easily, but he's had some takes bad enough that I wondered

[@Diamondr11Blue]

@@dragonriderabens9761 bro has been a simp for years. His wife has acessnto all his shit is why. Bro doesn't want equality he's trying to please the target audience

[@codm22712]

@@Diamondr11Blue don’t give a damn about her mental health

[@dracko158]

Story 1: OP, wake up, please. And run the hell away, NOW. The way your wife treats you is NOT okay at all. She screams at you, gaslights you, and pretty much blames everything on you. She clearly doesn't care she is acting this way in front of the kids. Since she is constantly threatening divorce, why not just do yourself a favor and divorce her? She also ABANDONED the kids! Please take the kids, and RUN. You will never know what she will do next.

[@lorilancaster5917]

I don’t know why is against divorce. This would be his only escape from her. Yes he would still be bound to her for about 17 years for the kids but he can have arrangements to where all correspondence is done through lawyers.

[@junyangli8882]

While logically this makes sense, this will financially ruin him for the next 18 years. Since she's a stay at home mom the court will most likely put the twins under her care anyway and he will be responsible to pay child support and probably not be able to be in their lives as she sounds spiteful.

[@JoeKerr019]

Story 1 : your wife wants a divorce but she is not willing to take the first step so she doesn't come out and the Bad person and so she can be the victim

[@barbaraminerva]

@@junyangli8882 If op plays his cards correctly, like installing cameras in the house, and keeps a detailed log of things, he might have a escape, the thing is he is teaching his kids that their mom's behavior is Okay, and he is causing a lot of damage to them in this "I'm against divorce". Is a very bad situation.

[@Me-dr9dv]

Gender bias and her manipulating will likely give custody either solely or partially to the mom, and we just know that she'll take anything and everything from him, crying out "abuse!" if he doesn't comply.

[@DarkEinherjar]

Three minutes into the video and all I see about this wife are red flags. She's abusive, she's a hypocrite, she's a narcissist who only sees problems in others, she's irresponsible... seriously, either she seeks therapy or OP needs to GTFO and take the kids with him. EDIT: Me at the end of this story: "HOLY [bleep], DUDE GET THE [bleep] OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE!!! SERVE HER DIVORCE PAPERS, LEAVE AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!" LISTEN TO YOURSELF, MAN!!! YOU. NORMALIZED. THE. ABUSE. THAT'S HOW BAD IT IS!!!

[@bigjalapeno7061]

Yea...

[@Vixa_Jaz]

If he’s not able to get out for himself then leave for the kids

[@akl2k7]

Exactly. Such treatment should never be normal. She should respect and love her husband, and she also shows how little she loves her kids by treating him badly in front of them.

[@TheEDFLegacy]

​@vixa__J A redditor actually replied giving their own story about their own abusive household, and OP replied, saying it was a wake-up call and he was going to do something about it. Thank god.

[@OldsmobileCutlass1969Va]

The problem is once a bad behavior is normalized... It's 100x harder to leave! And unless you've been in the same situation you don't understand that you just can't leave... Because anything else will feel not normal. OP's wife sounds a lot like my ex wife... It took her almost ending my existence to break me out of my spell!!! How bad was it?! I bet OP didn't get blamed for the bad weather on my days off so we couldn't do anything outside...

[@Eppon6]

"I'm a diamond and if you leave me you'll only be dating pebbles" I'd rather have a humble pebble that can help support my weight every day than a blood diamond with a legacy built on the suffering of innocents who needs to be carried everywhere and maintained in order to shine.

[@GhostBear3067]

Not sure where she is going with that, I have seen plenty of pretty pebbles worth keeping. Besides, diamonds are only beautiful after considerable work shaping from from a gem cutter while a pretty pebble looks nice after maybe just a light rinse with water.

[@dinlupus3196]

if you can put shit a diamond's price, then yes, she is a diamond

[@Whooachannel]

This story frustrates me so much because OP is in an abusive relationship, recognizes he's in an abusive relationship, recognizes that it's bringing stress for his kids and that his oldest is even starting to mirror that abusive behavior, BUT STILL REFUSES TO LEAVE. What OP needs to do is gather evidence of his wife's abuse and then go talk to a divorce lawyer and try to get primary custody of his kids until/unless his wife gets treatment

[@holdendewit7088]

Most men even in circumstances of abuse cannot secure sole custody and since she already claims he is a not doing enough and is attempting to turn the kids against him. He is probably worried if he leaves her that he will get partial or no custody of the children and that she will succeed in parental alienation, ie he will lose his kids forever. When women are abused they usually fear leaving for their safety or stability, when men are abused they typically fear losing everything that defines their lives if they leave

[@abiean222]

@@holdendewit7088 yeah, but OP has proof that the wife is unfit. she did abandon her kids when she thought that their home was being invaded. there are multiple witnesses to that incident and there might be a police report too. that and OP has records of trying marriage counselling and at least one incident of her going psycho during a session. this plus the fact that it is OP who does all the child rearing and has proof, because its OP who takes the kids to school and events and probably doctors appointments too, and OP is the one working, OP has a very big chance of getting sole custody.

[@dx1450]

It's hard to get people, either men or women, to leave abusive relationships some times. My wife's sister was in an abusive marriage for years until she finally got out. I don't remember how many times she left him and then went back until she finally left for good.

[@danacarter9147]

​@@holdendewit7088 True, and if the mother is found to be unfit, she'll lose the kids forever, when social services takes the kids away from her.

[@Juju2927]

The wife in story 1 is the type of woman that both believe that Men should both be emotionnally open and Emotionally shunned whenever the situation fits them best.

[@uNkrEaTIvArTs]

She’s the kind of woman who should live on an island far away from the rest of us normal folk.

[@charminglady2011]

​@uNkrEaTIvArTs true, she seems the sort to abuse everyone in her path. Exile the heifer!

[@ahstiasummers5583]

I’d say she’s the kind of woman who thinks it’s the man’s fault if the woman cheats and he should work on bettering himself, but if he cheats she needs to dump him asap

[@JudeMarchisio]

Nah, she's just a "Modern" woman. Entitled, selfish and lazy.

[@dudeorduuude5211]

She needs intensive therapy.

[@randomvids9507]

Story 1 you need to divorce her ASAP. She's toxic, overdramatic and she's guilt tripping and manipulating you like crazy

[@mushroommagic1697]

She is also endangering the children, leaving them alone when a threat appears is not a behavior that can be ignored.

[@bigjalapeno7061]

Yea really. She sounds crazy

[@MegaAstroFan18]

Story 1: This is... this OP is a very nice person, too nice, to the point of being a doormat. Wife definitely has serious mental health issues, but also doesn't want help, so there's no hope for her. Leave, make sure to get custody, she's abusive.

[@anonymouslee2083]

Narcissists flock to codependents like flies to manure

[@QuietChaos1996]

And the wife believes it's OP's fault for it all.

[@anonymouslee2083]

@@QuietChaos1996 that’s what narcissists do, they blame everyone to distract from the truth they know but are clinically incapable of accepting: they’re the problem

[@TiffWaffles]

I've had to learn the hard way that there are people out there who are beyond help and that sometimes it's for the best if you walk away. I had a 'good' friend of mine that was abusive and toxic. She and I sort of fell into a friendship by accident because we came from households that were similar, and she was the only friend that seemed to 'get it'. She became the very abuser that both her parents were and I didn't realise it for years until finally I woke up one day and told myself that none of her behaviour is normal and simply cut her out of my life. It was maybe one of the hardest things I've had to do because there were definitely moments in our friendship that were really good, but when the bad moments outweigh the good moments, then there's no friendship. I do sometimes find myself wanting to reach out to see how she's doing, but a look on her social media shows me that she's the same erratic and toxic person she was before.

[@BeeWhistler]

She’s scary. His description reminded me of the mom in Sybil. Dunno how many people have seen that movie these days, but it’s not for the faint of heart. Woman was a full nutjob.

[@Renge43]

WTAF is that wife on. Op needs to run not walk out with all four of his kids

[@nicholassanabria6493]

What he needs to do is teleport out of there with his 4 kids

[@junyangli8882]

He better get a really good divorce lawyer then. Because if he lives in the US, the family court will destroy him since she's a stay at home mother.

[@darko-man8549]

@@junyangli8882I’m thinking she’s cheating, so hopefully OP is able to get evidence for that

[@junyangli8882]

@@darko-man8549 unfortunately won't matter in a no fault state.

[@danacarter9147]

@junyangli8882 If the wife abandons the kids again, in another home invasion, social workers will destroy HER, and place her kids with foster/adoptive parents.

[@LadyKattrina84]

Story 2: OP was honest with her, good on him. He had boundaries that he wasn't willing to cross for anyone, especially so early in a relationship. It's a super healthy stance to have.

[@Hellysal]

True, and also I don't agree with rslash cynical comment about the girl. She did absolutely nothing wrong, she's not a villain here, she didn't overshare online, she made ONE POST about not wanting to go out at the time. I really think it's OP who freaked out about it too much and invented a theory out of one tiktok that was probably a few seconds long. So like, it's not like he 'dodged a bullet', they just probably aren't a good match. He'd feel disrespected every time she's sharing online and he would put her down over his insecurities. With that attitude they'd be miserable with each other.

[@i.korezom]

@@Hellysal completely agree

[@dx1450]

@@Hellysal But, I agree with the OP in that story that I wouldn't want to be with someone who posts every single little aspect of their lives on social media like that for attention. Some things are better left private.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

@@dx1450 I think the point is that she's not hurting anybody or being malicious, they just have a different approach to social media and they're incompatible for it.

[@eyeruscat9439]

@@Hellysal I honestly agree with you. A lot of people post things like that and that doesn’t mean they’re sharing absolutely everything in their lives. She made a simple comment about someone who she left completely anonymous and then the guy just immediately decided he didn’t want to be with her. I don’t know, I felt like that was a little bit of a quick reaction, but maybe that’s just me. I feel like things might’ve worked out. Had he just talked to her about it instead of just immediately deciding he didn’t want to be with her.

[@DavidTheBaker]

The wife issues story is absolutely insane. The OP is kind of an A-Hole for subjecting the kids to this kind of environment. For better of worse, he wants to take the abuse “on the chin” but he’s also making the entire family live with that sacrifice. The only thing worse than having a parent as a narcissist, is having the other parent not able or willing to protect you

[@friendlyneighborhoodhater]

yeah i'm sure through his job and chores and taking full care of the 4 kids he'll find time to immediately fix the issue 🙄

[@DavidTheBaker]

@@friendlyneighborhoodhater I never said the problem had to be immediately fixed, but I do assert that problems, when they arise, should be immediately addressed. Prolonging his own abuse, and inadvertently subjecting his children to an abusive family dynamic by “taking it on the chin for 17 years“ is not a humble sacrifice. I am not saying that he is the problem, I’m saying that by not addressing the problem critically, he is enabling things to get worse and subject his children to more stress. Don’t 🙄 roll me.

[@1nn1tmate]

Never expected to see you here lol I love your raps

[@Blackbird_26]

This man was being emotionally abused on the daily for however many years and if everyone he's ever brought up this issue with irl (if he ever had the nerve to do so) reacted like most of the commenters on that post, likely he's also been gaslighted by everyone outside his marriage that somehow he's the one doing something wrong. If the genders were reversed here no one would be saying shit like this or talking about how OP has to get the wife into therapy, etc... they'd be saying "this is abuse, leave". No one directly told him that until the post escalated into psychopath behavior. It's very easy to say shit like this when you're on the outside and able to clearly see every issue and not the one dealing with a narcissist whose behavior would likely be overlooked by a judge in a custody hearing. So good luck to those kids if she got full custody of them.

[@Pratt_]

Lol what ?! That's just classic victim blaming right there. You really don't know how abusive relationships work.

[@soulgazer11]

She doesn't want therapy because to her, she's not the problem, everyone else is. My mother is the exact same. She's a malignant narcissist.

[@bigjalapeno7061]

I guess that could be an explanation

[@TomDarkwulf87]

Wtaf was that first story??? That was one hell of a rollercoaster. Op's wife is freaking NUTS!

[@juliaboskamp9666]

All i can think of is that she panic, but parents should think of their children first. This is something that needs to be talked about in therapy

[@TomDarkwulf87]

@@juliaboskamp9666 the whole first thirteen minutes is the same couple

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

@@juliaboskamp9666 Her running out of the house and leaving the babies is only one very small part of the horror story. That poor man needs to learn to value himself and hold those who he chooses to be around to a higher standard than he currently is.

[@Winddagger23]

If he stays with her she will endanger the kids again guaranteed.

[@Winddagger23]

I personally think OP 's parents failed him. The op from the first story.

[@davidjacobs7465]

I have no doubt in my mind that she's cheating. The laptop is the first indicator that she really didn't want op to look at what she's been doing on it (if I read that correctly). The 2nd indicator is how she keeps telling him how he's not a real man, suggesting that she's seeing some man or multiple other men. I'd say check her phone and the laptop, get an std/sti test done and get a dna kit to see if his kids are HIS kids.

[@patriksvensson2360]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. I know nothing of their lives from before the first post, but it seems abundantly clear that she doesn't see OP as a fellow human being worthy of care and respect, and with all that shady shit she's got going on, the sky's the limit for the kinds wrong she's putting him through.

[@dinlupus3196]

yeah, i thought that too, she go out and refuse to tell her husband and kids where she is weirdly secretive even with things that shouldn't be a problem to anyone else, like with the printer (i wonder what she was doing with it , if she feels the need to block OP so he couldn't see anything)

[@kuckag5710]

Maybe it's cuz i hate running, but the run groups sound suspicious

[@soulgazer11]

My mother is 10 years older than my dad. She treated him VERY similarly to OP's wife. She's a narcissist. I haven't talked to her in over 3 years because I was lucky enough to realize what she was doing, but she turned my sister against everyone. People like that are MASTER manipulators and have 0 remorse. She probably will try to make OP's life hell once he divorces her, like my mother tried to ruin my dad's life. But once she runs out of leverage (once the kids are too old or unreachable), she'll stop. If I were OP, I'd file for full custody because she 100% will do parenting alienation and turn all of his kids against him, she already started. She doesn't want therapy because she doesn't think she's the problem.

[@ScooterBond1970]

I'm surprised the age gap hasn't come up yet. If the dude were 10 yrs older that would be at the top of everyone's list of red flags.

[@zetsu8ou]

​@@ScooterBond1970No? That would be a 34 y/o grown ass woman tf are you on

[@Hybrid301]

That wife is the full on psycho version of the “Never let them know you’re next move” meme

[@rapheAltoid77]

*your

[@Richard_Nickerson]

Your*

[@petefcferris]

Story 1: OP, RUN. You say she spent the last 6 years threatening a divorce. Well, call her bluff. Slam the papers right down in front of her. EDIT: have gone onto the post itself and in the comments OP mentions that his posts and the responses have opened his eyes to just how bad his situation is, and that he's now working on an exit plan.

[@GremlinAbsolute]

As someone with experience dealing with narcissistic people, OPs wife is a clear textbook example of that. OP needs to get himself and his kids out of there, considering that the behaviors are starting to rub off on the kids. And I think OP needs to get more help than he currently has, since his line of thinking has started leading to a sort of Stockholm syndrome level issue.

[@maxwhite8616]

She is abusive as hell

[@bigjalapeno7061]

Yes very

[@maxwhite8616]

@@bigjalapeno7061 should we guess her name is amber?

[@bigjalapeno7061]

@@maxwhite8616 Lol probably

[@vpuppyshadow9293]

Amber, Jessica, or Meghan

[@jenniferhart559]

I remember being 7 or 8, and praying every day that my parents would divorce. Paternal unit was violently abusive and a functional alcoholic. It was the early 80s, and in my child brain, we kids would live full time with mom and only have to see that POS on holidays. They stayed together until the youngest turned 18. We're both messed up...PTSD for me, and alcoholism for my brother (who's probably self medicating his own PTSD). Don't "stay together for the kids," my brother and I are just one story out of millions of similar abusive situations. It has lifelong unintentional consequences 😢

[@jasonphelps4218]

In the first story, Iwas in a relationship exactly like this. OP needs to get a lawyer ASAP! I was blindsided that the relationship was over when I showed up to work with a sheriff holding a restraining order. She the. Accused me of multiple felonies against her and our daughter. It took me 6 months to prove my innocence during which she was telling my daughter I abandoned them and didn't love them. It took another 3 years of custody battles to finally get joint custody. During that time she demanded a psych eval. I agreed as long as she took one too. In the end I was cleared and she was diagnosed with BPD although I think she has NPD as well. The social services gal had told me if they didn't have to account for her other children ( she had 3 other kids from 2 different dads) they would have given me full custody. Knowing what I do now I would go through that relationship to have my daughter again I would have definitely better prepared for the onslaught she unleashed when we split up. OP needs to prepare now before he tips his hat to the divorce.

[@Raikuthedragon]

Story one: oh my GOSH. This is not a red flag, this is a giant red flag with blood with a sign that says red flag on it. Op needs to run from her and take the kids with him: she's abusive, a psycho, not supportive, narcissistic, and manipulative. How can OP still be with her. He needs to leave, for him and his childrens (get full custody)

[@theheck1895]

I think this is the first video on this channel that I had to force myself to watch all the way through. The "wife" is an awful person. Please run away and drop all contact with her if you can. The only person that can look out for you is yourself. Rslash said it best drop everything and run away! Save yourself and then your children if you can. Your so called "wife" is a lost cause.

[@lorilancaster5917]

I have a hard time seeing this as a best of update since nothing was resolved.

[@meepmeep3308]

"save yourself then your child" is very interesting advice since she did the same and lots of people are upset about it

[@theheck1895]

I agree it's only going to get worse before it gets better. Can you try and imagine the pain and suffering that poor guy is going to go through trying to get a divorce? That woman is going to rake him over the coals for ever daring to divorce her. Guy is going to loose more than half his earnings. Plus his children will think that he is the bad guy. But I think divorce is his only option to save his sanity and his life. @@lorilancaster5917

[@theheck1895]

@@meepmeep3308 Different situations in my opinion. The divorce proceedings are going to be more than contested. She will try and bury him for years to come. Those kids will be probably put under her care and then poisoned against him for years to come. He has to survive the divorce before he can rebuild the relationship with his kids. That will take time, probably years.

[@dx1450]

Honestly I have no idea why he's afraid to divorce her. She sounds absolutely horrible.

[@Milk-ck1wv]

1st: She sacrifices constantly? DAMN RIGHT, SHE SACRIFICED YOUR KIDS RIGHT THEN AND THERE BECAUSE SHE WAS SCARED!! Honestly she doesn't believe in "therapy" either? He still stays with her even when she makes fun of him? Absolutely not. She's a red flag and a danger to those children. I would of been left, tf is this woman problem to think she ISN'T in the wrong. I have 0 sympathy for this person, Op RUN as if she's the burglar. If op doesn't divorce her and get his kids to safety then he is an enabler and he sucks just like her. LEAVE BRO

[@Aria_Kitsuragi]

Story 1: that “wife” needs major help, like bruh, you NEED therapy, you have so many issues. I feel bad for op and the kids, hope he gets full custody and gets as much child support as possible from such a stupid person

[@uhohspaghettios3801]

"My wife doesn't believe in therapy" 🚩🚩🚩

[@Phaugirl]

Story 1: Whenever I hear OP says “I just don’t know what to do”, I can’t be the only one who wants to scream at OP to “GROW A BACK SPINE”. Like….oh mi god OP, have some self-respect for yourself. Not to mention that he is teaching his kids that this level of abuse is normal. Im giving OP the YTA to himself until he realises that he needs to stand up for himself AND his kids against his wifezilla.

[@QuiteSpiffing]

That woman is a monster, not a mother.

[@bigjalapeno7061]

That might even be an understatement

[@lucifermorningstar2505]

How is it interesting that someone partner is 8 years older it’s pretty common now. why did op even get married to this Karen in the first place

[@jimdob6528]

Usually it’s the man who is older. That’s what’s interesting. Also men being married to younger women has always been common. In every single culture across the world.

[@lucifermorningstar2505]

@@jimdob6528 I seen plenty of people when the men is younger then the women

[@dovahkiin6488]

Yeah, idk how that was interesting either.

[@lucifermorningstar2505]

@@dovahkiin6488 maybe rslash needs to come out of his basement and see the real world when the last time he actually went outside before the big pandemic

[@kellharris2491]

And often it's an older partner that is abusive.

[@briangarrow448]

First story- this is spousal abuse. Full stop. Possibly child abuse also. And anyone who disagrees with me should really look at your own behavior and actions.

[@lancerevell5979]

He should have long since divorced this utter controlling trainwreck of a person. 🤨

[@rebeccalahti9468]

Whats disgusting is he just accepts the abuse doesn’t want to leave and sees that it is affecting his children negatively he’s a freaking doormat

[@bigjalapeno7061]

Idk why someone would disagree. I doubt anyone would have the balls to disagree publicly

[@DAISNAID214]

I think the last story is a nobody sucks situation. Like OP mentioned. Some people said she might have just not felt like going. If it really was saying man this guy kinda sucks on the surface then ok fine. I feel ya. However, it's also completely ok for you to not want someone for the reasons OP stated. And he made that clear in a professional manner. Idk. Benefit of doubt imo. Seems really extra to assume so many things.

[@yomitakano284]

Mirroring my thoughts exactly

[@joshfly210]

OP in the last sorry sounds like a really stand up guy with a good head on his shoulders and knows what he wants, or doesn’t want in a partner. He’s very in tune with himself and knows social media won’t bring much in his life.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

1st Story: Reminds of another story that Rslash reacted to about a man that came home to his wife claiming that the house was on fire and that she left their baby girl inside. The husband went in to save his baby and discovered that the "house fire" was a simple grease fire he put out. The wife came back with emergency services, claiming that her husband and daughter were casualties of the house fire 🤨🤔😑

[@NautAlp]

Hey Rslash, please continue uploading more BestOf its probably one of the best subreddits

[@Dragoon1809]

Goodness me, that first story is the reason I never want to get married because who in their right mind would want to be in that situation.

[@Alex-zz6vt]

"I'm a diamond, and if you leave me, you will only be dating pebble." Anyone who proclaims themselves a diamond is certified 100% shit rock at buttom of a septic tank.

[@geistgrace6452]

The mother is the first story. Yeah, Crocodiles are better moms than she is. Oh she sacrifices all right! She'll sacrifice her own children to save her skin. OP need to leave NOW. That woman is a danger to anyone around her.

[@southpike1000]

That first story...the wife is a prime reason for divorce. RUN AWAY

[@rentheseer190]

That first story is so triggering for me. Take it from someone who knows, growing up watching your parents have vicious fights where even the smallest things set them off breaks something inside of you. She’s hurting your kids, if your kids are observing it and REACTING to it, it’s hurting them even if its not physical.

[@maranathaschraag5757]

I had a family member who, once I went to therapy, told me doing so "made me worse". Basically, me understanding and acknowledging that I was being abused, setting healthy boundaries, and learning to say "no" for the first time, made me selfish and evil because I would no longer just do what they said all the time. Anyone who dismisses therapy outright - that's a red flag for me. And if they mock therapy altogether, then run far and fast And this random behavior with bizarre demands, irrational anger/screaming, and using kids as emotional blackmail is very common with people who are mentally unstable.

[@mavisvioleta]

That woman wanted the children dead, that's why she run... She was hopping that man took the children away, so she could play the "poor mom" and blame the husband. I don't know why this man stays, he needs to take his children and run!

[@bigjalapeno7061]

If she wanted that then she should've tried to make it look like she didn't abandon them

[@moneygrabbercodswollop8133]

She was hopping mad with drugs or delusion, that’s for sure. Hoping* is accurate too

[@ScoutLaViolette]

I don't think it's that deep or calculated. It's pretty simple, she's just a selfish woman who in the moment didn't care what happened to her kids as long as SHE got out fine.

[@racheldugger7619]

She's experiencing intermittent paranoid psychosis. It's serious. This isn't selfish and wanting attention, something has gone mechanically wrong.

[@danacarter9147]

​@@ScoutLaVioletteGiven that, she'll be on her way to losing all 4 of her kids to foster care, and then, to adoptive families who care about them.

[@cherenkov_blue]

Story 1: what exactly does OP's wife even bring to the relationship? She honestly sounds like a narcissist. She hardly takes care of the kids, doesn't drive them anywhere, refuses to do any sort of work on the relationship, constantly puts OP in double binds, and is verbally abusive.

[@reddiamond6524]

I haven't even started watching the video yet. And i'm already like what is with all these crazy wives abandoning their kids?????

[@TheVoicesOfTheBeyond]

Some people shouldn't have kids.

[@trevorseitz502]

Story 1: he's not supporting her, he's enabling her. She needs discipline.

[@emiliaholmberg3320]

OP in the first story needs to divorce his wife and get full custody of the kids because both he and them deserves better

[@HaakonTheRayquaza]

Story 2: I bet she got offended that OP didn't feed her ego and that's why she got angry that OP rejected her the "How dare he dump ME, even though I don't like him" scenario

[@ShadowSorcerer]

I legit don't think she wad angry. Most people don't respond after getting shot down for a second date cause then it's just awkward after.

[@jenarosec37]

How was she angry? She just, didn't reply. There was no need to, he said he wasn't interested so she left it there. Pretty mature, really. I honestly don't think she did anything wrong

[@_.hybrids._1680]

Off of what evidence? She could just not be replying because she doesn’t know how to respond or maybe it was the best thing to do. Not only that, but we don’t have enough information about the tiktok to know if she was an AH or not. There’s a billion reason she didn’t want to go and none of them being about him. She could’ve been condescending or she could’ve been just talking about her nervousness. We just don’t have that information.

[@alexisgrunden1556]

*Story 1:* I really hope we get an update where we learned OP recorded a few of his wife's abusive rants and tantrums, and got a divorce, because the last time I saw this many red flags waving all at once, I was watching the opening ceremonies to the Beijing Olympics.

[@TheVoicesOfTheBeyond]

That comparison is funny, but you are speaking FACTS.

[@TheEDFLegacy]

A redditor named Seaweedmama22 made a really painful comment, explaining that they were his kids, that they grew up in that very kind of household, and it took over a decade to get over it. OP saw that, and replied that it was a wake-up call and he was going to do something about it. Thecanadianjen also replied adding to it, and OP said he had plans to get out. Thank god.

[@NoContext83]

Story 1.... that bish is cheating. Op needs to run, not walk, away... asap

[@toradrow777]

Story 1: OP, if you're watching this, get a divorce and file for custody of the kids. This is not a situation that can be fixed. This is a situation that will only escalate. And what makes this worse is that she's already having a bad influence on your kids.

[@ElecticalCheetah]

Story one: the wife is more of a turd than diamond, I wouldn’t be surprised if she changed her tune once Op files for divorce and she realized that she Fed up unless she’s been cheating

[@chocodraws5137]

She's a diamond in the sense that she's self centered and draws so much attention

[@TheVoicesOfTheBeyond]

"I'm a diamond, and if you leave me, you'll only be dating pebbles" I'd rather have a caring, loving pebble that will treat me equally than a blood diamond who stomps on me and would rather let my kids die. The term 'diamond in the rough' comes to mind, as does the term 'narcissists are fcking stupid'.

[@Junior76104]

Story 1: she is 100% cheating on him.

[@undrhil]

In the last story, it's very possible that she didn't want to go but after the date she realized she had a good time and changed her mind about it. So, that's fine. And it's also fine that Opie doesn't want to go back on another date with her because of her public tiktok. But that doesn't make her a bad person nor does it make Opie a bad person. OP, not Opie...

[@lorilancaster5917]

If that’s the case, why keep the TikTok?

[@madisonnai]

also her being hesitant could also be bc of smth other than the op specifically, it could be the activity, maybe something came up that has put her in a mood for not wanting to go out that night, etc.

[@undrhil]

@@lorilancaster5917 from what I remember about Tik tok, the Tik Tok posts last one day and then are automatically deleted, correct? If so, she probably didn't think about deleting it because it would go away eventually on its own... but it's been awhile since I used Tik Tok so that could be incorrect

[@undrhil]

@@lorilancaster5917 also, she may have posted a follow-up tiktok stating that she had a great time and was looking forward to another date but since o p never looked again, we don't know if she did or not

[@undrhil]

@@madisonnai exactly. We don't know the exact wording of the tick tock, just Ops interpretation of it

[@pokemaniacalex8031]

Story 1: OP should ABSOLUTELY divorce his wife. He tried and tried and tried and tried to salvage the absolute trainwreck that is his marriage, and she didn't even want to entertain the idea of self-improvement. She's a complete narcissist, abusive, neglectful to both her husband and her own children, et cetera. The only option OP has is divorce. And if he's worried about how it will affect his children, the divorce would benefit them as well. Children are statistically much worse off having to endure witnessing their parents constantly fighting in their failing marriage than if the incompatible parents just break it off and share custody. As long as OP maintains a good relationship with his children and remains a consistent presence in their lives, he's in no way obligated to stay married to that absolute grunt.

[@mackdee911h3]

I am so glad that Rslash had a take i can agree with for Story 1. I think hes getting better at assessing situations. And as for what the wife said aboit dating pebbles.... I'd rather date pebbles than the bam-bam she is.

[@ladykay5891]

Story 1. She’s a diamond and if he loses her he will only find pebbles. Well a diamond is tough, cold, see-thru and everyone either wants one or has one. But every pebble is different. Some have beautiful unique waves of colours other have multi coloured spots. I’d rather be a pebble than a colourless diamond that might be only a cheap piece of glass.

[@Me-dr9dv]

Story 1: He needs to make sure to check up on his kids' mental health, as they'll probably need at least 1 therapy session in the future. Seeing parents fight can be traumatic (from experience), especially if it gets physical. What exactly does his wife do at home or for the kids? She's literally just a leech/parasite, using him as an atm, punching bag, and childcare (she seems to like the idea of being a parent, not actually being a parent/caring for the kids) while she does whatever the hell she wants. Honestly, this is another swap the genders and see how different the reaction would be scenario.

[@throneisbed7833]

That first story... I'm halfway convinced this man hasn't married a woman, but rather a nice rectangle of fabric, cotton or linen perhaps, in a luxurious shade of crimson. He saw its beauty dancing in the wind one day and pursued it, evidently not seeing he was marrying just, a literal red flag incarnate.

[@luvondarox]

Story 1 Holy crap. I had to triple check that all of that was from a single post / woman. What the actual everloving heck. She's chaos incarnate!

[@ConejitoPequenito]

Story 1: i feel so bad for the kids. Neither of their parents care to shield them from abuse

[@Coolhand118]

I feel like OP in story 1 should get a divorce, OP’s wife is emotionally abusing him at the very least. She doesn’t do shit for the house and from what OP implies from the story he makes at least most of the money of the house, that and makes him take care of the kids and take care of the house. On top of other things, I feel bad for him, hope he gets out.

[@SomeoneCalledCrystal]

7:39 “She wouldn’t let me see what she was printing.” I smell a case of….. *INFIDELITY*

[@cartoonking1789]

Hope everyone had a great Christmas 🎄

[@LunarTFM]

I had a very merry Christmas, got some Sonic The Hedgehog socks and some new headphones

[@cartoonking1789]

@@LunarTFM way past cool 😎

[@wouldntyouliketoknowwesath7789]

I feel bad for the OP in the first story. Dude's basically a single dad already, he's just married to a manipulative narcissist who does a terrible job at hiding her true colors

[@itsybitsybosmer]

I kind of have to take issue with some of the wording. "this is teaching your sons to be spineless pushovers" No, OP is the victim of spousal abuse full stop, not a spineless pushover as is being implied. The situation isn't teaching the sons to be spineless pushovers, it's teaching them that being screamed at, gaslit, and emotionally abused by their partners is normal in a relationship. I bet if the genders were reversed, RSlash would be saying OP was teaching her daughters that being abused by her spouse was normal behavior. Idk, maybe I'm reading too much into words.

[@BDM276]

No, you aren't reading too much into words. Your point is valid. OP is a victim. It's like telling an Rword victim that they should have tried fighting it harder. Telling spousal abuse victims that they are pushovers for not stopping the abuse is disgusting.

[@onettaviator5396]

It's both, though. As a man who's lived through an abusive girlfriend and witnessed it between parents, both of these things are true. OP is being abused, and he is the victim here. But when he normalizes this shit, the KIDS do, too, and that's the problem. When you're a parent, you have a responsibility to look after yourself as much as possible in order to be the most stable version *of* yourself. Because, frankly, it's harder to take care of a family when you're dying inside yourself. By staying, OP is not only exposing himself to more torment, but his children as well. And that's not his fault. But he has to do something. NOW. Anything that he can. His kids aren't going to feel safe in the home if they see that their dad can't stand up for himself. And I know because I watched my mom and older sister welcome my dad back home after he laid hands on them time and time again. Even when he left on his own and we, despite hurt feelings, still got by okay. It showed me that they would rather feel the comfort of having a dangerous man they "loved" in the house than consider my safety as a little 13-year-old boy; the only one he was yet to attack at the time. If he ever got violent with me... who would save me? Them? The ones who always run, cry, let him go, but then bring him back? Yeah, right. I started keeping a boxcutter in my room for protection. Because they never took action. And all I would ever have is me. I'm 20 now and moving out soon. But I still keep that boxcutter. Because I know for a fact that my family isn't gonna protect me one little bit. This isn't normal. This isn't fair and it sucks, and OP sounds like a great father. But he can't stay a victim like this. He needs to become a survivor.

[@MsAnimallover01]

"It sounds like she might be a narcissist, where everything is always somebody else's fault; she wants what she wants when she wants it & if she doesn't get it, she explodes at everyone around her".... rslash-you just described my mother.

[@RunicSigils]

First story is pure narcissism.

[@luciellawliet]

First story: As someone who has been severely depressed with lots of mental health issues since I was little and never got taken seriously until after numerous attempts on my life-as soon as I heard his wife mocked him for going to therapy and just called him a “depression case” using his mental health to degrade, belittle, and invalidate his opinions and concerns, I knew that marriage was toxic and should be ended right then and there. A good person and no one who loves you should or would ever say something like that. I haven’t even finished listening to the story yet, but the wife seriously needs to go. She’s refused the opportunity to get better and work things out in a healthy way multiple times, that is someone who is not willing to change or compromise, doesn’t truly care about you, and needs to be dropped and cut off. Good on the husband for taking care of his mental health. There is a serious stigma attached to men’s mental health and it prevents people who need help from getting it. Men are people too and their mental health should be taken seriously

[@silverflight01]

Story 2: Bullet dodged, she doesn't sound pleasant. Like, she could've just said no instead of making that TikTok

[@lorilancaster5917]

Sounds like she thought she would like him if her stomach wasn’t empty.

[@j.j.juggernaut9709]

She is literally one of the thousands of Tiktokers and KZbinrs who do a "get ready with me" type of videos, how on Earth do you consider this to be out of ordinary. It's not as though she even named OP so it could have been someone else she was talking about. You're defending a guy just because his feelings got a bit hurt 💀

[@Me-dr9dv]

​@@j.j.juggernaut9709 The idea is that she never gave a response to him when he mentioned the TikTok (positive or negative)

[@j.j.juggernaut9709]

@@Me-dr9dv And she was very correct for ghosting him for such an absurd behavior

[@onehittalon789]

Story 1: A similar thing happened to me except the person that went into my house was an ACTUAL burglar, and I was the kid that was abandoned... By my own younger brother while my mom and dad weren't home. Basically, the same exact ordeal happened in this situation, except, the guy that BROKE IN to my house had a knife, and I was ASLEEP when this guy came in the house, and my younger brother literally abandoned me with this random, potentially dangerous guy lol. And this happened the day before my birthday. I like to tease my brother about it sometimes lmao.

[@sayadiva123]

Jesus Christ. The wife in story one is a a tornado of narcissism and insanity. Did something happen in her life to make her like this?? Whatever it is…she needs personal therapy and maybe (not being judgmental) some medication. Cuz no one is this crazy for no reason. I have no experience with it but this also doesn’t seem like PPD either. Either way….OP needs to take the kids and run far away from this woman. Because it’s getting worse since one of the boys is mimicking her, which will become a problem in the future

[@frootsnacc6790]

This guy needs to leave the marriage *fast* because if she’s treating him like this, imagine how she possibly treats the children when left alone?

[@Piman1607]

The date story, op has a very understandable opinion and that is a perfectly acceptable reason to me to no longer want to see someone. But idk that the girl really did anything wrong. It would really depend on what she said in the video, of she was talking about being socially drained and not looking forward to socializing I think she's in the clear. However if she truly only said yes to the date to keep the peace, get a free meal, or really anything other than being interested in OP I think she needs to reflect on herself and how she is affecting the people around her.

[@Jay-Gruener]

Jesus Christ that first story. That woman is so chaotic, so abusive, so detached from reality that there is no way to 'fix' this marriage. I don't know if she's having a mental health crisis or is really just that selfish and self-centered but the 'I'm a diamond' line would have me running to an attorney. She's only been threatening divorce because she has more to lose if OP goes through with it. He pays all the bills, does all the cleaning, all the cooking, most of the childcare. He sounds like a catch and a great partner. I hope someone on Reddit was able to wake him up and make him realize he and the kids have more to gain if he leaves.

[@Drunken_mage]

Story 2, there's another update. She does get back to him and explains that she wasn't feeling app to Going Out that night in general but had fun and they did go on a second date IIRC

[@endlessnutellatoast]

there is no update, tracked the post down. man said he wasn't going to speak on it further. don't sell me lies.

[@truthseeker9249]

You dirty liar.

[@tristanilletschko6700]

Fucks sake I'm pretty sure Satan would cry being married to this woman in the 1st story

[@jimdob6528]

I have heard story 1 before and parents like this are why when I hear about spouses ending their partners I now don’t judge them anymore.

[@Haldoe]

the first story, he needs too get his act together because she is actively hurting the children with this behavior. OP needs to just suck it up and protect his children from that woman.

[@chronobretz9511]

Story 1 op there are so many red flags why on earth did you marry her in the first place or have children with her she is stage 20 out of 5 insane Story 2 classic case of she used him for a free meal

[@jimdob6528]

Average woman can hide their true selves for 5 years. Average man can do it for 2 years.

[@aduckofsomesort]

Well it’s not like you can abandon your baby is in a dangerous situation if you didn’t have babies or a dangerous situation before

[@NekoYuki]

"I don't believe in therapy" is a red flag for me. Not just red, *crimson*. It foreshadows sooooo much heartache. Edit: HOLY CRAP THIS WOMAN IS A NARCISSIST!!!

[@excusememr5741]

Hope everyone is having happy holidays!! Today is my birthday and of course I'm starting it out with some rSlash lol

[@x-treme_gamer]

Happy birthday, fellow rSlash enjoyer 🎂

[@crimsonteir2130]

Story 1: Dude needs to get a lawyer and get a divorce. They need an actual partner not an abuser.

[@jameslove3860]

My gfs side is closer to the door but mine is closer to the gun... lol She has a literal knife and sword on her side too, if shes worried about that she should learn to help protect her family. Lmao.. Tf...

[@kitkatkarebear11]

My mum is closer to the door too, because we kids would come in at all hours of the night. The martial arts weapons, however, are on my dad's side of the bed.

[@jameslove3860]

@kitkatkarebear11 Understandable usually your kids will say something if they walk into your room tho (Idk tho I don't have kids tho lmao) but I would imagine.

[@kitkatkarebear11]

@@jameslove3860 probably some variation of "Muuuuum..."

[@epicbruhmoment6985]

OP should really just be ending every argument with "you left our children to DIE." after you've done that you basically lose any right to the moral high ground.

[@breezy3392]

OP, why are you still in this?

[@AvionBlackstone]

Hey just a heads up for everyone about story one: that is what abuse looks like. It is frequently what escalates and into serious physical abuse. It really does not matter what the gender combos are. This woman is intentionally depriving him of sleep, setting up double standards, gaslighting him, And attempting to isolate him from therapy which seems to be the only support that he has. That man and those kids are in danger.

[@TheT93]

Great opener rslash. Not really sure how it's weird that the woman can be older in the relationship other than that it makes it a bit harder for you to blame the guy. Okay, story one, great job blaming the abuse victim for not leaving rslash. You were also MUCH kinder than you would have been if it was the guy doing that. Also I laughed out loud at 12:30 because dabney literally described himself.

[@IronMaiden756]

That first story was heartbreaking and horrifying. The OP and children's father NEEDS to divorce her and get full custody. That is not an environment in which children should be raised, unless he wants to raise children who will treat their significant others the same way. 😥

[@MadsBaird]

Hope you had a great christmas with your daughter

[@ElkiaStellar]

Honestly, it sounds like OP needs the reality check more. He's getting abused everyday and not only sees nothing wrong with it, but he's also allowing his children to watch their fights and letting the wife poison them. He needs a grip on reality and a divorce.

[@juanhaines7295]

Hope everyone had good holidays.

[@lancerevell5979]

Story one.... The wife is, sadly, one of those people who when faced with a sudden critical emergency, goes into total brainlock. This will not get better. 😒 As the story goes on, it just keeps getting worse. She is utterly toxic. What to do? DIVORCE, of course. 😡

[@PossiblyAHooman]

Goodmorning Everyone!

[@justarandomviewer6756]

Story 1: you know those stories you hear on the news about spouses snapping and permanently deleting their partners? Yeah THIS feels like one of those situations in the making.

[@johncovarrubias79]

Hope you had a happy holidays Dabney

[@cosmokramer1987]

Being divorced myself, there’s nothing like hearing these stories to make my blood pressure rise even more!

[@codm22712]

I’m first with 15 seconds everyone else saying there first is wrong also. Good morning and All that

[@hiroshi7025]

Bro no one cares 💀

[@juanhaines7295]

@Codm222712 good morning to you as well.

[@codm22712]

@@hiroshi7025I have 4 other people say basically the same thing 6 counting me so people do care and this happens every video so your just wrong clearly people do care

[@codm22712]

@@juanhaines7295 thanks and hope your doing good 👍

[@MeshelllChambers]

Hey congrats on being on winter break from the 4th grade buddy!

[@FishAnvil]

Oof, professional doormat. However you're feeling, your kids are experiencing 10x worse, permanently. Stop setting up online courses, stop interacting with her, start recording your fights while scting as calm as possible, then leave.