The Collapse of the Sense of Separation Between You and Others

Rupert has an in-depth conversation about the sense of separation with a woman who wants to know what makes people fall in love with one person versus another.
From the seven day retreat at Mercy Center - October 2017. For Access to the full recording see link: non-duality.rupertspira.com/wa...
Timestamps:
00:00 Understanding Love and the recognition of the shared being
01:12 Comparing the difference between types of love
02:50 What is falling in love?
04:23 The Love between friends
05:27 The Collapse of the sense of separation
06:45 What is love?
09:15 Our expression of love and our shared being
10:25 Do we have any control over our shared being?
12:00 Relationships and the impact on the body-mind
15:23 Recognising the deeper attraction
16:29 Dealing with conflicts in a relationship
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#rupertspira #nonduality #happiness #natureofreality #consciousness #awareness #meditation #guidedmeditation

[@sandymacpherson9400]

I enjoy the deep and complete stillness of this man who is completely unaffected by a lengthy silence, whereas most people dread such a pause, and even feel a necessity to fill such a pause with some form of inanity or other distraction. It is wonderful to see someone so carefully choosing his words and expressing himself with such clarity and economy.

[@benediktdanting9970]

That's an easy one. Rumi said, Love is, when we meet without you and without me. People who meet each other this way have very little personal substance that obstructs their innermost being and this being recognizes itself via the other. That's what this is.

[@chiwizdz]

As those resistances, fears and old feelings of ‘not being enough’ arise in a relationship, is that not the real treasure? That as we feel reaction, I immediately take responsibility for it breathe with it. No blame. Under my sin is mine. Healing begins. So each is master teacher to the seeming other. I am with partner 20 years now. We laugh much ask questions embrace all parts of ourselves and other. The ego comes out of hidden dark into light of awareness to be accepted therefore transcended. Love allows all things,accepts all things, embraces all things, trusts all things. And thereby transcends the world. Relationships ignite healing and allow true into me see, intimacy. Namaste. Eliza

[@kathrynphillips3710]

Havent heard the Rumi quote before but i absolutely Love it Thankyou 🙏💗

[@wilma8326]

What is a smile? It's the way the body expresses a momentary collapse of the sense of separation 😊

[@ean5469]

A genuine smile reaches the eyes😊

[@anudeeparakkathara5520]

I loved the way she persisted with the question and finally got Rupert to speak exactly what she wanted to know about.Rupert admitting to the mystery of how one falls in love was a great sight to watch!Again well articulated and an excellent question.

[@juliangiulio3147]

yes. agreeed. I would like to see the questioner, not just Rupert's face and feelings-delightful(haha) as they are!

[@socjlm82]

I don't know, it seems she wanted an answer from the beginning and not listening to his message. The ego does that, it needs to be spoonfed from a "realible" external source. Her insistence seemed to be the egos need for the answer she already wanted to hear. Don't forget that we usually misinterpret intuition.

[@lindaross783]

The experience of this life is nearly over and all the experiences he is describing are equal in my heart as I remember my life. The connection through the eyes of a few people I remember very clearly were like light beams. The longer relationships where duality creeped in a lot did not seem to have more meaning. It was the moments. We've all felt that. Even more so at the end of this human experience.

[@sebastianmuenzberg4197]

Beautiful, really beautiful

[@thomposthuma20]

for anyone interested in the subject matter, Jan Geurtz - Addicted to love. A very clear overview of the mechanism causing one to fall in love with another. Not only does he describe how the ego (body/mind) is at the root of this longing, he also shows how relationships can be used to recognize the true nature of mind and thereby liberate one from dependency.

[@Lila-cy8qm]

thanks!

[@manoramadivakar7840]

The phrase "falling in love" , in itself tells all. True love is rising in love. Collapse of sense of separation, is permanent in true love. If falling in love initially, can raise to true love, as the relationship moves ahead, it is blessing.

[@thomaserickson568]

I want to see SNL sketches with someone impersonating Rupert Spira in different settings: job interview, working at Lowe's, etc.

[@damiansebouhian5624]

I've felt similarly not so much about an SNL sketch, rather a stand-up comedian who specializes in impersonating spiritual teachers like Spira, Eckart Tolle, Mooji, Depak Chopra, et al. It's an untapped market as far as I know.

[@bille77]

...shaking hands with Trump. 😂

[@ellenrule3189]

That would be funny for us but few know him.

[@AngelOne11]

Love is love. Falling IN love is an attachment. All attachments are delusions of the mind to think that things will never change and the mind makes us feel sad, depressed when we lose the attachment. Physical attraction is another delusion of the mind to tell us this is beautiful and this is not when nothing stays the same. If you meet the same "beautiful person" 50 years from now and say that you feel the same physical attraction to them and would have thought they are beautiful or attractive will be the real test of this delusion. Love is beyond physical and attachments. Love is untouchable by our physical definition. It is the thing that stays with or without the body. Another thought to dispell the delusion of physical love, when one loses a loved one to death or other means of separation, their love meter isn't as strong as it was when they were with the person and as times passes the attachment gets weaker and weaker until it dissolves. I am in love with my mom. She passed away 25 years ago. I miss her today as I missed her yesterday. There is no attachment to her physical being. There is only pure love.

[@saipawankumar5297]

Amazing

[@1234carolynb]

I read something the other day that said that the love two people have for one another is not really love, but attachment. That the two people in that relationship are attached to what the other person brings to the relationship and their partner. Therefore, when what a person is attached to fall away, it signals the end of the relationship. In other words, love between two people is conditional and based on sexual attraction and attachment, not love at all. It is just a case of meeting each other's needs for an indeterminable period of time. True love, on the other hand, is unconditional. True love, by it's very nature, is boundless and eternal and as such, can only be of a divine or spiritual nature. This love is who we are before conditions based on desires and fears to do with ourselves or the other, became layered over the top and we forget what our true nature really is. This is why we seek from another person what we think we've lost. But others can never give us what we've simply become disconnected from. Hence, the unsatisfactoriness that often under-girds relationships.

[@babygorl9541]

this is exactly how i feel about it! thank you for articulating this so clearly 💎

[@danceaway6463]

Hooray! Finally someone stating the bleeding obvious lol. Why someone is sexuslly attracted to another is just that for sex for procreation and To build a unit for safety to make one feel complete be worthy etc etc. It's not true love cause conditional.

[@julieplove9402]

thank you yes ACIM is very clear about this the special relationships special loves and its opposite special hates the free reign heritage of the ego that keeps it alive and self perpetuating. Gods specialness Gods Love the Love of God the only Love there is is unconditional and all inclusive it never seeks to gain nor divide it gives and loves and shares (extends) in its absolute Fullness. Having said that the HS will not take our special relationships (too big a task for many) but can transform them to holy relationships for the purpose of the Kingdom (shared Oneness). Lots of love to us all ❤

[@chehrazed8710]

Exactly❤

[@user-tm8kq2jr5c]

I think you fall in love with one particular person in that way because the being is an infinite spectrum of vibration, like sound or light. The person you 'fall in love with' is an express of the same wavelength on that spectrum that you are.

[@Eazy_Danny]

It is very closely resonates with direct everyday life experiences! I often feel the immense sense of inner joy, almost comparable to an ecstatic feeling, just by connecting with total strangers almost on an everyday basis, just for the sake of sharing our being. At those moments I felt many many times, that really there was no "me", this body mind who's experiencing that, I couldn't or even care less earlier in approaching people and connecting with no particular reason, just because of sense of fear of being rejected. But after the awakening experience, something had radically changed - I haven't had anymore fear of approaching strangers, connecting and just immersing in little chit-chats. I was flying. I felt an enormous joy and a sense of connection and love to everyone. I only by listening this video realised that in those little moments my separate self had been collapsing, and love which is the true nature of myself was shining though.

[@BillSikes.]

It's no big deal

[@Eazy_Danny]

@@BillSikes. It's ok if that's not big deal for you :)

[@Eazy_Danny]

@@BillSikes. Have I said somewhere that special or important? :) I was talking about the joy and intimacy of experience and unity which reminds to me a childish joy. But as I've said before - you don't have to prove your own view to me, perfectly fine whatever you think :)

[@BillSikes.]

@@Eazy_Danny Its none of my business so I deleted it, good day )

[@Hydrasword89]

My friend I often get deeply into separation and identifikation when there are other beings around. The acting gets unconcious and the ego is strong. I feel the awareness and all the things that come up while meditating and it can be clearly seen, that there is no "I". How did you stablelize the recognition of awakening throughout the whole day?

[@shrimpscampin]

The sweetness is appreciation, gratitude for the other. that's why even a simple handshake can make us feel that connection

[@bmillerbiop]

Having been “in love” a fair number of times, it seems the essential element is the anticipation of an experience of transcendence - something that enables one to be/experience something larger than one’s normal, mundane experience. I suppose the same thing can be arrived at through other means - a research breakthrough, a meaningful discovery, travel, embarking on an exotic vacation, meeting someone who already seems “transcendent” (that’s probably the attraction of celebrity, for example). It’s clearly more than just over-active sex hormones.

[@thomaserickson568]

Wrong.

[@BillSikes.]

Smoke some weed dude, chill out, its cool

[@victorjcano]

Well said

[@victorjcano]

@@thomaserickson568 your opinion

[@kevinpersia5201]

When we fall in love, we usually satisfy by the characteristics that the person has and we feel that this person checks all the boxes that we collected from the past and expected to be like that. However, we do not know this person very well, we only judge him/her by the appearance, in other words we suddenly feel that this person is exactly look like the one we dreamed of before so it is likely that he has the same characteristics too. But sometimes after continuing to meet the person we feel that he/she is not the one we expected before although he is gorgeous. The other case is we feel love toward a person we know very well for years, mainly because this love has built up through years ,this one usually is stronger than the falling in love scenario and can last longer because there is so much things behind it as if your building has stronger foundation.

[@thomaserickson568]

Nuh uh.

[@BillSikes.]

Well said, and very true

[@abhisheksharma2138]

The whole of this clip is so enlightening, but beyond 10:15 it is just beyond words of praises!

[@DiegoSouto91]

Awesome!! I'd been looking for some opinion that resonates with the experiences I had on this subject for years... Thanks for existing and for doing what you do, Rupert 🙇🏻‍♂️🙏🏼

[@6davca]

Thank you Rupert Spira for this Great and inspiring video.

[@sitaiyer7161]

Best of rupert spira's in all these years that i have heard

[@spaceforthesoul6286]

Beautiful. Thanks for asking, thanks for answering. 💜

[@smcnern8455]

Wow, what a beautiful yet precise and deeply insightful explanation.

[@victorjcano]

Falling in love is just a very short experience where we actually are able to experience a joining together or a disconnection with ego. It feels great but certainly doesn’t last very long but does give us a sense of what can be, perhaps

[@Yogi_Ram]

Beautiful explanation.. thank you dear Rupert..😍 pranams 🙏 from Tiruvannamalai, India🇮🇳

[@hgracern]

Love is the collapse of 'separation', yes. And so intimate when no required speaking.

[@risheenandparasram4468]

This is beauty in all its nakedness. Thanks so much.

[@MariaCosta-go7fc]

Lovely all the way through, what a beautiful conversation ❤️

[@josevalverde2263]

Rupert spira for president!

[@pheb29]

BEAUTIFUL ❣️ I love you Rupert! 💜

[@MariaElena51185]

Thank you, this is a beautiful explanation of an 'Inner Recognition of Potential' (of a sacred union) ... a deep intuition. 'The entire body/mind wakes up' in this recognition that does not necessarily start with physical attraction. The word powerful brings to mind a On.eness that is meant to emanate this divine love

[@thomaserickson568]

Gay.

[@mohdshahnawaz3864]

Absolutely loved this video. Thank you so much for this valuable information. Lots of love from an Australian 🇦🇺❤

[@ellenrule3189]

Yes,there is a difference I’m in love with life and people and my true love feels totally safe,falling in love with the person.

[@edzardpiltz6348]

In general and speaking from own experience, it's all boils down to human conditioning and the egos inherent feeling of incompleteness and it's never ending endeavour to make itself whole and happy. Just my two cents. 😘

[@yungblade7]

Yes loving without attachment is the deepest love

[@edzardpiltz6348]

@@yungblade7 and loving with attachment isn't love in the first place. It's s business relation, as some sage once put it 😘

[@josefkobzonovski2]

Yes, incompleteness that feels real. Now that incompleteness/unhappiness has been exposed for it is, and everything is now and whole and at peace and one, the need for relationships is no longer there, it feels like it's never been there really. At the same time, I don't mind at all if somehow I end up in one, since nothing is holding me back from doing anything. Let's just have fun.

[@trinidad111]

I just like seeing someone give a considerable amount thought before replying

[@maryrosemitchell9682]

The surface self has desires. It desires the physical, emotional, mental and personality traits that our own ego prefers because it wants to reinforce the self. We try to find another person who will reinforce the surface self or personality and when we find it we call it love.

[@thomaserickson568]

Nope.

[@BillSikes.]

So what, it's perfectly natural and whatever it is, it's exactly as nature intended

[@love2bmindful643]

@@BillSikes. It's all perfectly natural, but nature has no intentions. It just is.

[@BillSikes.]

@@love2bmindful643 Nature does have intent, if it didn't there'd be no reproduction, this is why when we come of age we feel strongly attracted to members of the opposite sex, this is perfectly natural, and it happens to every single living organism on Earth, if it didn't life would of died off aeons ago

[@love2bmindful643]

@@BillSikes.you could be right, but to me nature just is. It doesn't strive or try with intention. Its random energy working and our minds try to make sense of it. We imagine or perceive it doing something we believe makes sense. Some organisms are more complex than others and they have survival mechanisms, but it's not "intentional". It's just how the energy in that organism responds with it's own unique level of intelligence and capabilities. The water in a puddle is not intent on becoming A cloud. It just forms. Then It has no intent on being either wispy or becoming a rain cloud. Many human organisms kill themselves so clearly they don't all have an intent to survive or carry on their species. Also, not every organism has the intention to procreate. I know several people who have no desire for kids.

[@gulumayroz]

Looking at it from a different angle, for some reason or another, an intuition arises, that this person has the potential to rescue you from the unbearable feeling of separation...so this very powerful longing, and hope, arises, in response...it is an intuition that this person holds the key, to help you open your heart deeply, to connect...so, in a way, this person is an invaluable trigger, to save you from the illusion of separation. Weather it is true, or not,..that this potential can be actualized, depends on a complex dynamics, of the meeting of two bags of conditioning...theoretically, every person can rescue you, but your conditioning holds a lock pattern, which zoom on certain patterns...it happens, because, when you meet this person, at one point or another, something deep within you, start to move...like a puzzle pieces is falling into place...when we are together with another, we are together, on the surface, but deep inside the void remain. It is only masked to the conscious level. In LOVE, the togetherness goes a little deeper. Complete healing means, loosing the identification with the me...then there is no one to be alone...just pure oneness.

[@waldwassermann]

You are correct.

[@gulumayroz]

@@waldwassermann 🧡🧡🙏

[@victorjcano]

Well said. Bravo

[@gulumayroz]

@@victorjcano ❤️🙏

[@glynemartin]

The love of your child is second to none....and Rupert is a veritable badass...

[@terefefeyssa877]

glynem: I you separate love from attachment, every love is the same but with a different intensity. Otherwise blind attachment is mixed up as love.

[@glynemartin]

@@terefefeyssa877 If there is an unmistakable *difference* in intensity, how can all love be "the same"?

[@arpitadasgupta9213]

In 1st 2 minutes you answered what i have always been looking for. Love is same. Just expressions are different.

[@life13525]

beautifully explained

[@kathrynphillips3710]

Love is a soul to soul recognition of the pure essence of spirit 💗🙏💗

[@sevahomes7092]

I can’t help but fall in love with the questioner a little bit as she seeks for enlightenment on this topic through Rupert.

[@clankzan3076]

Wow wow wow Thank you soo much Rupert 💛💜❤️🧡

[@sherryfrantz2785]

Beautiful!

[@1ferrozoica]

Beautiful

[@OnlyNewAgeMusic]

Since there is no “separate person” in reality are we not all “in LOVE” - one being in infinite variations of expressions but being and sharing the same love?

[@thomaserickson568]

No.

[@OnlyNewAgeMusic]

We are Love, Consciousness, Being. That’s the ultimate reality we all share ❤️

[@waldwassermann]

Yes. It is correct. The first step is to realize we are One. Rupert calls it consciousness. Others call it by different names. It is all Good. Then what is? Who are we? What is the purpose for all this diversity? Then the answer comes. Love. We are all in Love. All this for Love, for companionship, for warmth, to have someone to be with. It is what you have realized. It is correct. "I Love" as Tagore used to say. Thank you!

[@michaelmcclure3383]

If love isn't attached to a particular person or circumstance, then what's to stop it from being present always. I think this talk was more about the means of celebrating love in the context of an intimate relationship. Its a tricky subject

[@waldwassermann]

@@michaelmcclure3383 Love is always present; it is all that is, air, sun, water, no difference. It is why you are. It is who you are. It is who we all are. Love is One without a second. Suffering is thus caused by ignorance. Ignorance of knowing there are no others.

[@nwoslothbite3077]

Wow insightful!

[@thomaserickson568]

Thank you!

[@waldwassermann]

I LOVE. It is what Tagore said. I LOVE.

[@GioiaIris]

I listened very carefully to the last three minutes of this clip, I listened to it several times ... and I should say that by saying it is a crisis and an unbereable condition I let the limited mind superimpose a conditioned concept to the actual experience . If you share the love and the deep connection with a person who is not the person with whom you are in a relationship, and you get out of this connection because it is too powerful, you are sharing the limits and the destiny of a separate self. if you decide to stop connecting with this person with whom you feel this deep recognition, maybe you act from the perspective of a separate self ... maybe you have to go through it, maybe behind this crisis there is a deeper level of truth love and beauty.... what if just living from moment to moment whatever there is without manipulating it. Of course you can make a choice, knowing that in this case, would be king Lear who is making it.

[@Drrizzt2k12]

I exactly thought the same! That's part of the explanation why people claim more and more a certain freedom in the possibility to be in more than one single relationship. Though they don't necessarily see the underlying reason that Rupert is brillantely exposing.

[@GioiaIris]

Geoffrey defossé I agree with you totally

[@marioludwig3702]

Interesting comment! I can’t make up my mind on this matter. On the one hand, I do think that the separate self wants to share love only with one person to have security. On the other hand, it is possible to have this recognition with more than one person. The question if we should explore the new connection or not is difficult. The separate self might want to stop any other connection on the basis of fear of ending up sacrificing the first beautiful relationship. But it could be also on the basis of love and respect for the first person. Not everyone is willing to accept that his/her partner have different deep connection with others. It is something we can respect: we are not all in the same place, we are not all capable of accepting being in polyamory relationships. If it can jeopardize the relationship, maybe the recognition of a new possibility and choosing to stay with the same person will in fact just deepen the love in the first relationship. It would represent the appearance of a conflict, and the choice of continuing the relationship for the sake of love. In the end, I think there is no answer to this question. One might decide to explore a new connection, while someone else will decide not to, both are valid according to me.

[@GioiaIris]

@@marioludwig3702 if something happens, awareness has already accept it. There is no point, to me, to make a choice due to the non acceptance of my partner. But you are right! There is no one singular fixed answer to this question! 🙏🏾💝

[@marioludwig3702]

@@GioiaIrissorry, I don’t understand what you mean :/ Concretely, if you are in a monogamous relationship of 20 years with a person you love, and you meet a new person with whom you have a great connection, what would you do, according to your message?

[@popitzikaliou7]

Thank you Rupert. Amazing

[@manafro2714]

He didn't answer the question. If love happens on the same level as where we have the "shared being", and our "shared being" is the same throughout, then what recognises what? The physical or mental? But the "shared being" is above both physical and mental.

[@mikeq5807]

Falling in love is an egoic experience. Love is the fruit of divine union. Love is the fruit of the I AM.

[@yotamschmidt570]

Good question actually, not so good answer. Falling in love is not the collapse of seperation. It's the glorification of seperation. It's the celebration of seperation shutting it self from everything that's seperated from it with another seperated thing in order to feel united in oppose and in relation to the seperated. Human love is egoic and not about non-seperating. Unconditional love, which is to say Unmediated, is about unity.

[@TheJooberjones]

Rupert would make a great bond.. lookin good!

[@paulinaestrada8712]

All my questions where answered

[@108lukas]

Perfect Thanx!!!

[@gabyinoz3868]

What Rupert talks about at the 17:35 mark re: "meeting someone else with whom you feel this potential" reminded me so much of the 1997 movie "Deja Vu" directed by Henry Jaglom. The main characters were both faced with leaving already satisfying, good relationships in order to meet this potential. It was a bit of a roller coaster ride.:-)

[@bhbae1]

Falling in love with someone is personal, completely different from infinite awareness, which is the eternity of "love".

[@heidieid2263]

Omg 🤝thank you💎🧡

[@MyLoudawg]

We have given the word love different meanings, when it could be broken down to many feeling and emotions not fully understood by the individual. We put adjectives and adverbs in front of the word love, trying to express certain and specific meanings. The English or western society need specific words or wording to define specifically the true feeling, emotion or intent. When experiencing unconditional love it is very complicated to describe the actual feeling in words so that someone in a different level of consciousness or intellect fully grasp the meaning. Being in a spiritual or physical understanding.

[@medwaca]

It simple... your ego is a specific construct, the ego (and body and energy) of onother person is also a specific construct, and from there it is a key and lock game, some people are desinged that way that they can easily fullfill and open your lock, be it a desired ego love, or a colapse of the self, because the other self is designed that way that your specific self colapsea by the influence of that other specific self...

[@thomaserickson568]

Not even close.

[@bornuponawave]

It seems like it’s not just a question of Non-duality but of biology as well.

[@gardeniabee]

Recognition, varies in degree.

[@joesharma6113]

The love she is talking about is the alignment of body and mind stuff with other person which is different than the love that is the result of non duality awareness.

[@jillom6648]

Who wants to understand?

[@borjaruiz8894]

Jill OM this a neoadtvaita answer.

[@pravinakilpady1237]

It's the mind that makes you feel you re incomplete and you seek that in another thinking it completes you ..a quality that you lack you see in another and mistake that for love or attraction towards that person.

[@msheadcornerstone]

I would have loved it more if Rupert would have emphasized aswel that if you can fall in love, you can also fall out of it and that there is nothing wrong with that. Now people may still think some kind of 'specialness' is present in their falling in love that has to be 'worked on' until death do us part. That has nothing to do with truth and is actually a waste energy in the life system that we are (there is no balance to get from the 'working on it', it is just storytelling).

[@mikefoster5277]

The question the lady asks is a perfectly valid one, but impossible really to answer on an intellectual level. Why? Because real love clearly isn't limited to that one level, and what we're trying to talk about here is reality itself ["love" is merely a word we use to try and explain a particular aspect of it]. In other words, in attempting to answer the question, we're trying to combine different levels of reality [purities of love even] into a mentally satisfying explanation. And that is what is impossible. :)

[@eoghansullivan]

If something can be questioned on a specific level it can also be answered on that level. Perhaps it is the undefined 'love' that she speaks of that creates the apparent difficulty in answering the question

[@angeloiodice9304]

This is an extremely powerful discussion. The intellectual answer is not wholly satisfying as to why in this system, if we are a shared being in Oneness, and nothing else exists, why there exists attraction and repulsion to people, places, situations. That was never answered. It was just accepted that sometimes our content is harmonious with or sees potential in another person, place or thing, that leads to a more involved relationship, and not a simple loving meet-and-greet and moving on. Now, in this teaching there is not much talk of karma, or destiny, or a divine plan, God’s Lila, life contracts, astrology. Because those are like other secondary sources of power, entities outside of Oneness. But, I dare say, there is no other reason or explanation why a regular person continues life and chooses various modes and expressions of life and avoids others, except to complete one’s karmic debt. I must infer that after completion of one’s karmic content, one remains poised, with far less attraction and repulsion, and one separates oneself from society to dwell in solitude, in constant communion with ones’ own being, or to surrender their place on this earth level.

[@ahvyahvyahvy]

if it is the mind and the body that fall in love with another mind and another body, it is because they are conditioned

[@BillSikes.]

Rubbish, you're subtlety inferring it's wrong, it's not wrong in the slightest, it's perfectly natural

[@ElizabethReninger]

A nice complement to Rupert's lovely contemplation here on "falling in love" is this one via Eckhart Tolle: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jGTQmqiXhLymoJo Another thing to consider is that there are deep levels of biochemical conditioning that guarantee the perpetuation of the species -- so to the extent that the attraction is purely physical/sexual, one might wonder how much of it has to do with this ...

[@Misslotusification]

Wanting physical intimacy and 'falling' 'in [and out of] love is due to our mating program, a lovely trick of Nature to assure the survival of our species. Nothing 'personal' really. Attraction (not infatuation) is like a click saying "This one could make a good match for future offsprings." As it seems, smell can serve as a repellent for bad matches. This explains as well why couples fall out of love after about 2-3 years, which is the average duration to build a nest. And this explains as well why we can be aroused by new partners when loosing libido when it's about the old mate. Now psychologically, it seems likes attracts likes, and that can sometimes become an infatuation made in hell, like 'woundmates' (both on low vibration mode fighting against the cruel world).There can also be all sorts of unconscious motivations, like what our beliefs made us think love looks like -- like my dad, not like my mom -- or depending on attachment styles (anxious, avoidant,...) Other people say that we're attracted by what we're missing (e.g. someone non-confident will be attracted by someone daring,...), hence the so-called 7 years itch, when the 'quality-transfer' is done and it's time to move on towards what we're now missing. Often so, it's what attracted us at first that we dislike at the end (e.g. when the daring person will appear ruthless eventually). Nevertheless, all those issues can be blessings in disguise if the challenging relationship helps to get conscious of them; and if both partners agree not to need the other one to make them happy, and either choose to separate peacefully, or to stay together consciously..

[@thomaserickson568]

You don't know anything.

[@zain4019]

Interesting, thank-you!

[@Misslotusification]

@@thomaserickson568 I quite agree with you. Who knows?

[@Misslotusification]

@@zain4019 My pleasure, I've edited it, after a year...

[@sureshgaikwad5004]

Love is one if you really fall in love.

[@waldwassermann]

🙏

[@Mathewmatics86]

It's because personal 😱 preferences vibes and styles,,,as to why you fall in love with one and not another.

[@pippipster6767]

Humans are so lost in thought. I like the contrast of the flower there … which is just being.

[@juliangiulio3147]

I want to see the questioner, not just Rupert's face and feelings... Some of the questioners on some videos anyway, seem to be very alive, -have their own character, -and their enquiry lines (-like this one) are interesting!

[@mauriciobahia]

Maybe it's like the fragrance of a flower that gets you completely stunned, especially when it's wide open and wants to share.

[@sureshgaikwad5004]

If you are loving person you love to all. Rupert is talking about awareness. There is no he she and they.

[@sourav100rav]

mystery is the karmas and give and take account, we are bound to meet that special person. you have to complete the give and take account.

[@plumeria66]

It has to do with individual conditioning. You fall in love with those whose conditioning matches your own. Falling in love is shared being on a finite self level. Because the infinite self sees all as lovable.

[@michaelmcarthur8364]

There are enormous gaps in his theoretical ontological, metaphysical certitude. He is a presentation.of a stereotype, of a sense that he brings as a presentation of a representation of the concept of a bodhisattva. Blake, Husserl, Levinas, Heiddiger, Schpoenhauer, Kant, Nietzsche, Plato, Christ, Buddha, and on and on. Apparently this enlightened being's certitude is drunk on his own certitude. He has all the answers to your existential dilemmas. Really? I love his calm presence and subdued voice. It is textbook enlightened guru. I say... "Do not go gentle into that good night" Laugh, shout, sob and weep and be pissed off and then embrace it all as the miracle we all are.

[@TheRacasil]

Portuguese subtitles, guys! Please!!! 🙏🙏

[@justjamie333]

Why do some like chocolate ice cream and some like vanilla? Why do some like heavy metal and some like classical? Preferences. That which brings us to the experience of beauty, peace of our true nature...we will be drawn to.

[@zain4019]

Wow. Wonderful answer:)

[@DulalAlauddin]

my I, You got me here

[@Ndo01]

To answer her question, the manifest consciousness exists in the realm of form. Things that have form have the nature of behaving like puzzle pieces, so certain things just fit together better than others.

[@jdl2180]

Falling is love comes from the ego, oneness with God comes from the spirit. The special relationship is the egos plan for salvation.

[@leelanjoy]

I collapsed into love to a woman and married her (Internet) although I did never seen her, not knowing how old she is, no photo, nothing. Half an hour later she died. Now my experience convince me, that life is an impersonal automatic process. We are not living. Life is living.

[@LurkingCrassZero]

'Uncontrollable dynamic' oh dear. That's a polite way of putting it. lol Love does not need, nor want or crave. Those are the traits of the ego.

[@something-about-us]

from my experience, when you feel that love it is because you dont feel seperation, you see that there cant be anything more important than love, therefore every your problem (which is attached to body usually) seems so meaningless. as long as you feel like you are love itself and no seperation then you see everything as one, you are not interested in other seperate beings you just love everything and you feel like home so we are so attached to things and we are looking everything from humans perspective not from love and thats why oneness doesnt seem as good as it is for me there was also mind chattering and throwing most triggering thoughts at me but it was just seen and all i had to suggest was love and compassion to that one for whom these subjects were important. why would i fall in love with strangers? you dont fall in love with strangers there are no strangers its true that all we know for sure is that we have a body and when someone suggests to forget your body etc etc its not easy to accept because theres misunderstanding I think. thing is that we shouldnt limit our being to body and thinking there is more

[@katiakita]

Waaaaaaw👏👏👏👏

[@geneedgerton4482]

So, what I’m hearing is: Pure love (from awareness) is realizing we are the same. But falling in love is the highest recognition of our separate selves, not our true self. One love is universal, and the other is the highest expression of ego. One is pure agape love. And falling in love is a mixture of eros, storge, philipe love … until hopefully we realize our true selves (agape love), if we even get to that point. ?????

[@kwixotic]

It could be as "simple" as great timing(at least that seems to happen in my case).

[@rosegathoni5394]

Falling in love is ego's tendency to fragment. Need to be special. True love has no name. It's just experienced as lack of division/conflict. It's impossible to give what is nameless, a name.

[@eoghansullivan]

Rose Gathoni 'the ego' doesnt exist. It can't have tendencies being non existent

[@sammiller9855]

I agree with you. "Falling in Love" in the West often involves confusing physical attraction/lust with love. I would have like Rupert to make a clearer distinction between the illusion of falling in love in a romantic sense versus the truth of recognizing we are love and sharing that with others. I find some of the comments below the video actually more to the point than the discussion in the video. The illusion of falling in love is like two waves seeking to merge with each other in order to be one, forgetting they are already the ocean.

[@MayaState]

Good question!

[@TheAffrojutty]

I’m intrigued! 🤔 The majority of the people on this planet who ‘fall in love’ most likely have no idea or recognition of their true self. Surely one must know their true self (love) in order to reflect it in the world. Most relationships have an underlying unhealthy-ness and are actually perpetuated by attachment and neediness. I’ve heard Eckhart tolle say that the word ‘falling’ (in love) implies unconscious and is therefore predominantly ego centred. How many people who ‘fall in love’ actually realise their full potential (True self)

[@devendrapurohit7300]

I think it's a case of our personal barriers , when an orhasm happens , just for few seconds a unity is felt . . Just a few seconds. This is a total collapse of our personal identity. But it's not a merger , merger happens only when the ego self drops totally and permanently. Then after there's nobody to love because then there's NO OTHERS. In order to love or be lived , atleast two are needed. Turtulien has said that : "The Other Is Hell "

[@MacShrike]

Wonderful conversation, as always. However, I do not concur with the "recognition" part of the explanation of the extra-special attraction felt. I have come to the understanding that is more of a desire/ego/i that desires it to be so. The feeling you feel is never coming from the other but only exists in the self. Especially when there is an off-balance situation, your desire will attribute more meaning to its deeper origins. Narcissists are especially good at inflaming/inflicting that. So either you desire the attention of the other, or you want them to admire you more because they don't seem to get it. If your recognition is right, there will be no doubts, questions or other obstacles.

[@michellelove6681]

I love the whole concept of non duality. I've listened to Rupert on many different pod cast and have bought his books. But watching these videos annoys me These questions are elementary and very childish really. I know I'm sending out the love I'm holding the love for everyone but come on. I understand that other people need to understand and they need clarification but it's also not what Rupert is speaking about it is it's a simple as it just being it or I it's just that simple. We don't need clarification on romantic love versus loving everyone in the world it's just silly. I apologize if I offend anyone it's not my intention it's just kind of how I roll. Love and blessings to all 💜

[@jinnaz02]

If there is no free will , is it me that is turning away from other person, with my free will?

[@qigonglove1240]

Lets never separate baby rup

[@yotamschmidt570]

It's because of the ego god damn it, say it already. Why does something seperate itself from other things? In order to discern itself. How does the machinism of seperation works? Through a symbolised embodiment called the Ego. The Ego is the active aspect of seperation. It is seperating mentally in order to discern, even what is seperated already.

[@onewillprice]

You are the mechanism