Ranking EVERY Peach Kidnapping By How DUMB They Are

in this video, I'll be Ranking EVERY Peach Kidnapping By How DUMB They Are... Like getting turned into a pinball, and getting shoved in cake... there are some doozies.
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[@RussVandy]

Correction: - the shroob princess is not peach. - Peach also wasn’t taken with the Gas - Peach gets captured a 2nd time in Luigi Dream Team Thanks for watching!

[@EatAnOctorok]

She also wasn't kidnapped when she opened the box in TTYD. She was the only one who could open it, and she gave the map inside to Mario. Also important, is that the hooded character isn't the one who kidnaps her - that character is one of the Shadow Sirens, who needed the map to reveal the locations of the Crystal Stars. Peach is kidnapped by an entire other faction, Grodus' X-Nauts, though that's offscreen. ...and they also want to open the door, like the Sirens.

[@174Anime]

Seriously, you need to relook at super star saga. Peach also gets kidnaped in the dessert by random thugs. Was kidnapped by bowser soon after and then they kidnapped a decoy that was actually luigi.

[@EatAnOctorok]

@@174Anime I'm dying at "kidnaped in the dessert", like she's walking across the top of a big ol' pancake and gets bitten on the neck by some child.

[@174Anime]

@@EatAnOctorok desert* but in mario party 1 where she lands on a Bowser space on her cake board, kinda?

[@LavaCreeperPeople]

ok

[@teddyj9482]

A small correction: in Mario & Luigi: superstar saga, Princess Peach wasn’t kidnapped when she was hit with the gas, but her voice was. But in a twist, she was warned ahead of time and prepared a decoy. Then she gets kidnapped while taking a trip to see the toads that moved to Bean-Bean kingdom (multiple times if you struggle keeping her safe) and when Luigi leaves her to get some herbs to cure Mario.

[@variumi]

But in another twist, Luigi tricks bowletta into thinking that the captive princess is fake, leading to an exchange where Luigi gets kidnapped before easily escaping

[@devilsaur]

birdo as a decoy is such a twist

[@mastermewtwo5503]

Honestly, while the whole desert section was stupid (just stop wandering around and forcing me to babysit during puzzle solving, seriously)... the parts where Peach avoids being kidnapped are actually really genius. That would have to be its own tier for counterplanning.

[@ShadowdaHedgie11]

@@mastermewtwo5503 I mean, Peach still got kidnapped, but they managed to trick Bowletta into thinking that the real Peach was a fake, and that Luigi in drag was the real Peach so... they'd lose intelligent points for that.

[@Sing_LoveWRS]

​@@ShadowdaHedgie11 Idk Luigi in drag is pretty fine

[@Coldcolor900]

I think the cake was 1000 IQ. It was so unexpected that everyone was too stunned to do anything.

[@SuperEliasboi64]

I love that one, it’s very goofy

[@joshuakim5240]

Everyone probably just decided to let that kidnapping happen just to respect the sheer audacity of the method. Mario: "Yeah, i can probably stop this right now...but i also really want to see where this ends up going if this is only the start."

[@chaosbringer2659]

The koopalings are too smart

[@specterknight0542]

Exactly, like you dont expect your birthday cake to be a trap plotted by your kidnappers

[@izz0d1nardi83]

It is

[@todorstojanov3100]

You did Fawful's plan in Bowser's Inside Story dirty. It's one of the most convoluted plans in the franchise. His ultimate goal is to awaken the Dark Star. For this, he needs Princess Peach. But he knows that Mario, Luigi and Bowser will be a problem. So he comes up with a plan to neutralize all of them. First, create the Blorb epidemic by giving Toads Blorb Shrooms. This will put the Kingdom into crisis mode and make it easier to take over. Next, give Bowser the Vacuum Shroom and send him to Peach's castle. This gets rid of Mario and Luigi, with the side effect that Peach also gets inhaled. Because of the Shroom's effects, Bowser is unconscious for a long time. Third, conquer Bowser's castle while he is out and brainwash all his minions. Fourth, now he needs Peach. For this, play with Bowser's ego. After he wins a fight with Midbus, trick him into eating a victory feast. Said feast immobilizes Bowser. Fifth, use Bowser's immobility to extract Peach. Finally, steal the Dark Star, take over Peach's Castle and blockade it using the Dark Star's power. If that's not a 1000 IQ plan, I have no idea what is

[@Cool-Vest_Leo]

Not only that, but he also had a plan to get rid of Bowser. He placed a treadmill beneath the floor Bowser was stuck in (too many victory cakes) so that once he got unstuck, he would be forced to work out so rapidly that he caught fire, detonating an entire room of explosives. Only goofy Mario logic kept him alive.

[@wolfzend5964]

​@Cool-Vest_Leo On several occasions. Seriously, every giant boss battle was because Bowser nearly died. And there was at least 4 or 5 of them.

[@gamerdude491]

I've never seen the plot summarized this succinctly. Fawful had the 1001 IQ Plan.

[@MsDarkz123]

If I recall correctly he didn't know he needed Peach to awake the Dark Star at first so a lot of that planning is improvised as he goes along.

[@juanandresrueda4957]

​​@@MsDarkz123 yeah, that's reason why he didn't took peach the second time he met bowser but still his improvisation was top tier

[@paulomatute4114]

I would argue that there is some intelligence with the original super mario bros, with the "sorry mario your princess is in another castle" implying that those castles were just decoys for Mario to waste more time along the journey

[@RussVandy]

My mind was blown with this comment 😆

[@oofley8346]

He also had minions impersonate him using illusions, so that mario wouldn't know whether or not he was at the right castle

[@visualgagging]

I was under the impression that that was just the shortest path to the final castle (not counting warps ofc)

[@paulomatute4114]

@@visualgagging well but still needs to go in the castle, which maybe otherwise you could go around it? We don't have a visual for the map

[@alexpotts6520]

In that case the Toads are extremely smooth-brained. Why are they not standing outside the front door of the castle to tell Mario he's wasting his time?

[@Damariobros]

I actually think Super Mario Galaxy should be in 1000+ IQ tier, because you forgot another detail of Bowser's plan: In order to get the power necessary to summon the UFO and also to teleport the castle away once in space, he attacked Rosalina's observatory and sapped all of its star power, which also served the purpose of neutralizing a major threat to his plans, which would have certainly caught Rosalina's attention given the nature of said plans. Also, he somehow knew that the observatory was the thing behind the star festival and planned this whole thing around it. After stealing the star power and immobilizing the Comet Observatory, Bowser launches a full-scale invasion with many airships. He uses his newfound power to rain imprisoning crystals upon the kingdom, along with bombarding it with meteors from the airships' cannons, in the hopes of hitting Mario, who he knew would be present, and if he didn't get hit, to at least buy himself some time. He would then use his new star power to summon a gigantic UFO that would cut the earth under the castle away, so that he could use airships to lift the whole thing up into space. If Mario got through and managed to make it to the castle, he also had Kamek there to serve as a trump card, and Kamek blasted him off the front stairs. And to ensure Mario couldn't come back and catch up to him, he then teleported the castle away, also with that star power. Once the castle was in the center of the universe, he then created an entire pocket dimension inside the castle using the power of a Grand Star, so that he could build a stronghold inside of it and make it even more difficult for Mario if he even managed to get there. And finally, he had a great number of airships and the UFO defend the outside of the castle as well. The only reason Bowser lost was that Luma managed to escape before the castle teleported away and brought Mario to the Gateway. That is more than 1000+ IQ, that's like a billion IQ.

[@RussVandy]

That’s a GREAT POINT… totally would change my answer if I had remembered that😅🤝

[@Littleha]

Galaxy 1 instantly came to mind when I saw the title of the video. Bowser really thought of everything when he kidnapped Peach here

[@galatheumbreon6862]

Oh shit when you think about it, that's a mastermind plan!

[@Damariobros]

@@Littleha He even had Peach stay on airships, usually Bowser Jr's personal airship, so that she's never staying in one area of the stronghold and Mario can't reach her! Mario could only reach her in the end because the grand star let him fly!

[@DefinitivNichtSascha]

If you consider that, then Paper Mario 64 also needs more points. Bowser practically did the same there by stealing the Star Rod and capturing the Star Spirits, giving himself immense power (the Star Rod makes him completely invincible) as well as neutralising a major threat (the Star Spirits are pretty much the highest autority in Mario's world, being prayed to like deities).

[@finalsurvivor1]

Peach was notably kidnapped a second time in Dream Team, and it was honestly one of Bowser's greatest moves. By that point, he has an all-powerful wish granting stone; and it's all but outright says this that he uses its omnipotent powers to just teleport Peach to him. What drives this into genius status is that Bowser also has Kamek disguise himself as Peach, replace her without anyone realizing, and then lure Mario and Luigi into an ambush super deep in the Dream World. No one even suspects what happened until the trap is sprung as Kamek's impersonation is flawless, and Peach can't be blamed for being kidnapped by something that just warps reality to the user's whims.

[@qwerty3793]

Thank you! Was disappointed this wasn't mentioned - it was one of the best kidnapping plans in the series imo.

[@ananas0799]

Kamek was able to trick them through the power of being a drag queen. 💅💅💅

[@robotron3894]

@@qwerty3793ok, I’m glad two people noticed because I started playing Mario and Luigi dream team and I thought the plan was nearly flawless, the only problem being is that Mario and Luigi beat them. Had there been back ups or a plan to deal with them just in case I think it would have been perfect.

[@memeboi6913]

16:27 I think the implication of the scene was that Sonic slowed down to try to save Pikachu (a small and defenseless woodland critter) and that caused both of their deaths. Which is honestly a perfectly in character moment.

[@user-zs6kt6vu2j]

yes, thats true

[@Kyumifun]

Darn, true

[@lisaanimi]

My European brain watched almost all of the video before realising "Room temperature IQ" is not a full on insult

[@georgetrevor2621]

I mean, even in American terms, it's still an insult, it just means "Basic understanding of the world around them" and not "Has all the critical thinking skills of a Sims character"

[@FuryJack07]

... Bruh. I JUST figured it out. AAHHHHHHHHH

[@pinkymii072]

I mean the fact you're European is a pretty big insult already so

[@Marc-rw3dd]

Fahrenheit: Not the brightest Celsius: Brain damage

[@flyingstonemon3564]

Man.

[@djskillx7008]

Bowser’s inside story is even more smooth brain when you realise that bowser has no memory of sucking peach up and has no idea he even kidnapped her.

[@wolfzend5964]

Considering it was Fawful's plan to take Peach, using Bowser, does that even count? It's like saying a woman got kidnapped by a smart car and not the person driving the car. If anything, Fawful should get credit for it, and since it was technically a success to keep both the Mario Bros busy, and keep Peach "Safe" it deserves more credit.

[@snorpington5910]

Bowser's just a living cage

[@CelloGamerMatt]

Correction: Peach did not turn into the shroob Princess, they are separate characters. The Shroob Princess is the supposed leader of the Shroobs

[@RussVandy]

My brain hurts, thanks for the correction!

[@jjohnson2445]

​@@RussVandy baby peach is so cute

[@JadenYukifan28]

​​@@RussVandyAlso, in Super Mario Bros., it is stated in the manual that Bowser turned the people of the Mushroom Kingdom into inanimate objects, so Mario's harming them by Smashing bricks...

[@mastermewtwo5503]

@@JadenYukifan28 When I researched this, apparently the breakable bricks are homicide-free. It's the item blocks that are the Toads.

[@JadenYukifan28]

@@mastermewtwo5503 Well, whoever wrote that in the Manual was a bit wrong then. I mean, that was what I heard so never read the manual for the game.

[@szszabolcs9582]

Small correction... In Sunshine Bowser Jr. Knew Peach isn't his mother, but he wanted to prove his skill to his dad... it would be kinda cute if none of them were evil in some way

[@IIIISai]

Na he was manipulated by bowser, probably since he has no mother figure he subconsiously wants it to be true

[@TheBlackSeraph]

I was more disturbed by the fact that when Peach was told by Bowser Jr. that she was his Mama Peach didn't dispute it. She was shocked, but didn't dispute it.

[@szszabolcs9582]

​@@IIIISaidid you play sunshine? WHAT I SAID WAS CONFIRMED IN THE FINAL CUTSCENE HE KNEW PEACH ISN'T HIS MOTHER, BUT HE WANTED BOWSER TO BE PROUD OF HIM

[@Kyumifun]

​@@TheBlackSeraphBc that was so ridiculous it didn't even need to be explained to him and who knows how'd he get tricked or at least consider such idea.

[@aaronTGP_3756]

Bowser's Inside Story kidnapping is actually really thought out on Fawful's side. He set all the problems in motion, and gave Bowser the Blorb mushroom in the first place. Which decapitated the Mushroom Kingdom's ability to resist Fawful's kingdom-conquering.

[@josephconover5270]

You mean vacuum shroom. Bowser never ate a Blorb mushroom.

[@goldenhydreigon4727]

5:57) "How are you supposed to rescue someone from a painting?" Idk let's ask Luigi.

[@npaulfun7196]

Yeah, he is the perfect person to ask!

[@the-rats-ruckus]

Luigi would trip on a painting and die, let's ask Mario instead.

[@Nirakolov]

Paper Mario's extra silly since it means that SOMEHOW Bowser built his entire castle UNDER Peach's castle without anyone knowing

[@DefinitivNichtSascha]

I always assumed he just wished it there using the Star Rod.

[@itsmeike]

Fun fact! The GBA release of Super Mario World has a small intro cutscene showing Peach get kidnapped

[@Victini415]

And it's some of the _dumbest shit._ Mario and Luigi test out the Cape Feathers by flying all across Yoshi's Island, leaving Peach completely unattended. When they return to tell her about it, she's gone. Bing, bang, boom, "Looks like Bowser's at it again!"

[@MusSupremeJAR03]

@@Victini415 Bowser: It's Free Real Estate

[@MidnightWonko]

My headcanon about Smash Bros. Ultimate is that Sonic WAS fast enough to escape those beams of light. However, if you watch the intro closely enough, you'll notice that while he's running from them, he slows down to match Pikachu's speed and reaches his hand out to Pikachu, to try and save them both; he COULD'VE escaped, but he wanted to at least save Pikachu first.

[@marche800]

The toads in Mario 64 are supposed to be literally trapped in the walls of the castle which is why they are all right next to walls, they can't move from those spots, they can just jump and struggle helplessly and give advice

[@LeviathanProbably]

I literally see people thinking this all the time and it's incorrect. Trapped inside the walls isn't literal, it just means trapped inside the building.

[@pkmntrainermark8881]

​@@LeviathanProbably Yeah, they're just trapped behind the magically sealed doors.

[@abbeybelanger8118]

I don't know if this says more about Bowzer's stupidity for making most of these plans or Peach and Marios stupidity for these plans working

[@linksbro1]

In Thousand Year Door, the "Merchant" is actually Beldam, one of the Three Shadows/Shadow Sirens, who is personally is on the lookout for pure hearted individual to not just open the box containing the map... but uh... spoilers for end game. It's because she is the one who summoned the cataclysm that destroyed the kingdom 1000 years ago before it was sealed behind the 1000 year door, a seal that could be broken with the crystal stars. Meanwhile, she has long since tricked the leader of the X-Nauts, Grodus, into thinking that the Shadow Queen will obey whoever revives her, thus causing the gathering of The Crystal Stars, the only thing that can both contain... and REVIVE the long since sealed Shadow Queen. But you might be asking "where does peach come into the picture?!" It's because the Shadow Queen requires a vessel. Peach is the vessel. She was taken FOR A PURPOSE, and that purpose was to literally destroy the world. TTYD is not just 1000 IQ, it is Multiverse Brain.

[@joshshrum2764]

It’s really stupid though she shouldn’t have taken anything, and why is toadsworth just not by her side if anything he should been kidnapped to, which would have been interesting.

[@linksbro1]

@@joshshrum2764 they literally addressed this. Peach waited for Toadsworth to be distracted when refueling the boat so she could look around without his constant worrying. Beldam then had to wait until Peach was alone before she could be taken, giving her the time to send Mario the map.

[@Luxynx0502]

Although it's very similar to the original, I think Super Mario 64 DS should be on this list too. In addition to kidnapping Peach, sealing her away, and stealing almost all of the castle's Power Stars to distribute among his minions, Bowser also managed to kidnap Mario, Luigi, AND Wario, and leaving them each under the watch of the Goomba King, King Boo, and Chief Chilly. And although it was pretty straightforward for Yoshi to rescue Mario, Luigi's warp painting was hidden in the attic of Big Boo's Haunt, and Wario's was hidden behind an illusion in the castle's mirror room. Not to mention if you don't rescue Luigi or Wario by the end of the game, they stay kidnapped indefinitely.

[@wolfzend5964]

While some of these kidnappings aren't that accurate, such as Peach being kidnapped by Cackletta in the beginning (it wasn't even Peach, and they weren't kidnapped until much later) amd Bowser's Inside Story being Fawful's plan instead of Bowser's plan. Let me ask this. Is a plan considered stupid of it somehow works? Yeah, these plans seem basic, foolish, or outright cartoonish at times, but the fact they worked probably says more than anything.

[@underplayer420]

Russ: Bowser just stealing Peach right in front of Mario is smooth brain Also Russ: Bowser Jr. Just stealing Peach right in front of Mario is 1000+ IQ

[@harmonixerraze]

An extremely fake looking Mario grabbing Peach in front of witnesses with Mario there? 1000+ IQ Somehow getting a castle underneath Peach's castle and using the ultimate power of the stars he stole to seemingly kill Mario and strand Peach in space? Pretty smart

[@ninjahotdog9036]

Because Bowser Jr got him framed for the crime making it exponentially harder for him to escape.

[@lasercraft32]

12:22 ACTUALLY, this _was_ a Big Brain plan... Not Bowser's plan, but FAWFUL'S plan. Bowser didn't even realize he sucked up Peach, since he was basically drugged when he ate the mushroom. Fawful even sets up an elaborate trap to extract Peach from Bowser's body using some kind of ray gun thing (idk how the heck that works, but still).

[@0ceanking]

> Why was she picking flowers in front of mario's house and not in the castle? > Why couldn't bowser wait until Mario wasn't at the castle before taking it? I think something that may be overlooked here is just how much Mario and Peach enjoy spending time together. They may not officially be an item but they are practically inseparable, judging by how often Peach personally invites Mario to all sorts of activities, even bringing him along for vacations. When she gets the treasure map in paper mario ttyd, her first thought is to invite mario to treasure hunt with her. Honestly, at that point I'm surprised she didn't bring him with her to Rogueport, a shady crime-riddled port town, in the first place. Funnily enough she doesn't get kidnapped by the hooded figure in the opening cutscene, this is pointed out in a later cutscene that the hooded figure(Beldam) didn't do so because it would have been too obvious out in open daylight, which gave her enough time to send the map to Mario before later being kidnapped by the X-nauts. How they did that is never explicitly explained that I can recall, but I'm sure there were ample opportunities to just ambush her as she explored town.

[@lucasmartinez5703]

Are they not officially an item? I thought them being boyfriend/girlfriend was confirmed years ago by Nintendo.

[@Tomato_boi]

Bowser is the most horrendously down bad Character ever 😭

[@joshshrum2764]

Him, and Sanji.

[@espinoth9913]

Bleck should honestly get bonus points for also successfully utilizing Peach to summon the Chaos Heart. Succeeded where Cackletta failed with the Beanstar

[@koopaperson101]

Mario Pinball Land's kidnapping was actually crazy. The goombas took advantage of Peach being a ball and shot her away quick enough for Mario to even do anything. Who would've known that would've happened, definitely not Mario that's for sure

[@linkthehero8431]

5:08 _You know, Mario, most people use something called a DOOR to get in and out of their houses!_

[@aierie-dragonslayer]

some of these really add credence to the theory that the "kidnappings" are just elaborate, consensual roleplay scenarios.

[@joshuana5132]

In N64 version, the toads WERE trapped. They were fused into the walls, just astral projecting.

[@Marc-rw3dd]

lol

[@LeviathanProbably]

Trapped inside the walls just means trapped inside the building, it's just a more interesting way of saying it.

[@royalhighandadoptmeperson5020]

Peach sent those letters to tell Mario to save him not that bowser left it to taunt Mario so it should be in at least big brain 🧠 (if you don’t count the fact that peach was able to leave a letter without anyone noticing

[@ericb3157]

something you said at about 15:10 reminded me of a crazy story, where some Senator tried to make a LAW that criminals MUST warn their victims in advance! did he REALLY think that someone who MAKES HIS LIVING by BREAKING laws would EVER obey a law like that?! that's MUCH dumber than gun-control laws!

[@spamtong.art1987]

11:19 *I think the main reason Mario gone after the Koopalings because of his cake.*

[@ninjamaster9094]

I’d probably actually dock some point’s from TTYD’s kidnapping. The reason behind why she got kidnapped is solid, sure, but the X-Nauts and Beldam were very sloppy about it. First, they didn’t actually kidnap Peach until after she had time to mail the legendary map to Mario, which was crucial to their plans. Second, they didn’t really keep Peach very secure after she was kidnapped, and she ended up getting access to a lot of classified information and was able to send that info to Mario without the X-Nauts knowing. Granted, the main computer of their base was helping her and was likely erasing any evidence that she was doing anything, but you’d think they’d at least have some extra security measures in place with how crucial Peach is.

[@stanthedemon1263]

To give the Bowsers Inside Story one some context, the mushroom that bowser ate was given to him intentionally by the game's villain, Fawful. The intent was to have bowser inhale peach so HE could kidnap her from outside, since he had wound up tricking bowser into getting mega fat and immobilized, all of this so he could awaken the dark star using peach's voice. I know it doesnt add any seriousness to it all, but credit where credit is due, fawful was actually 10 steps ahead of everybody up until the part where he thought he could harness the Dark Star himself.

[@HapLord]

At the time of writing this, I havent look it up. But I'm pretty sure Bowser was being sarcastic of being shocked of Mario's appearance in paper mario 64. If I'm right I'm pretty sure the next line of dialogue literally has him say that he was kidding.

[@professordavidx6505]

In Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga, Peach didn't get kidnapped in the opening. Her voice gets stolen, which turns out to be a lie anyway because it wasn't Peach. It was Birdo. In the second half of the game, she gets kidnapped by Rowlett and just sits in the clown car again. In Mario and Luigi Bowsers Inside Story, Fawfull steals Peach again, after Bowser did eat her. After that, the Dark Star Swallows her, which means she was kidnapped for the third time. In Mario and Luigi Dream Team Peach gets Kidnapped 3 times too. First she gets kidnapped by an old ghost in the Pillow Castle, then she gets stuck in the dream world and Kidnapped by Antasma. And for the 3rd Time Bowser Kidnappes her ofscrenn and Kamek Pretents to be Peach to distract the Mario Bros.

[@mm3shadowman982]

Since when was Rowlett the Gen 7 orb birb in Superstar Saga?

[@paulyoshi8731]

@@mm3shadowman982 the Decidueye's soul fight was so hard...

[@VestedUTuber]

Ok, you REALLY glossed over Superstar Saga. Here's the thing about it - first off, Peach doesn't initially get kidnapped, but rather has her voice stolen and replaced with EXPLOSIVE VOLCABULARY. As in LITERALLY explosive. BOOM. Bowser then shows up to kidnap Peach, but can't because if he does he'd be bringing said EXPLOSIVE VOLCABULARY into his own castle, wrecking it in the process. Spoilers for a game old enough to drink to follow: Turns out it wasn't actually Peach who had her voice stolen anyway, but Birdo disguised as Peach. Now, Peach does _eventually_ get kidnapped in this game, but it's near the very end of the game after you recover the pieces of the Beanstar, where Bowletta kidnaps Peach and holds her for ransom, with the ransom being the Beanstar.

[@appliedatoms7066]

Bleck is by no means room temperature. If Bowser Jr.'s why makes a difference than Bleck's why should too, and his why is excellent. Following an ancient prophecy to cause the end of all worlds through a sham wedding is excellent.

[@thesnazzycomet]

To be fair no one would expect a UFO stealing the entire castle

[@VolcaronaWolf]

Could be wrong here, but I think there’s an argument to be made that Bowser wasn’t trying to kidnap Peach at the start of Inside Story. Various royals and ambassadors are present during the meeting at the start, and Bowser basically points out that he has a right to be there seeing as he’s a royal as well. He just fights Mario due to being annoyed at seeing him.

[@JONOFTHEJONS]

Great video! I’m really enjoying it! I don’t understand how Bowser could just kidnap someone like Rosalina. But that’s just a silly thought of mine!

[@KoffeeB]

Smooth brain No ridges or lumps, no valleys or bumps, all ideas slide right off, like a water slide

[@memes4life885]

I’ve never considered the idea of someone ranking Peach’s kidnapping but now it seems like a pretty obvious idea.

[@zachpro5475]

Now can you rank every Pokémon region based on how good they are to live in

[@user-ni2bo3mu5p]

I would argue Bowaers kidnapping Peach in Paper Mario 64 was 9000 IQ. Because not only did Bowser take Peach’s Castle to the sky, a place way harder to intrude on then the ground, he got the invisible weapon, kidnapped the people who could stop the people, and built a battlefield amplifying the power of the invisibility so even if Mario got the 7 sages to counter the power, they would be outmatched. Can’t even say doing it while Mario is around is a flaw, since he’s invisible, makes it easier to take him out before he can form an effective counter-attack. The only problem was leaving the people guarded by guards and not himself guarding it. But that is a small problem with this amazing plan.

[@user-ni2bo3mu5p]

Invincible not invisible

[@joshshrum2764]

@@user-ni2bo3mu5pMario can become invisible though.

[@jayeldee2009]

My head canon is now that the goombas that "kidnapped" Peach in Pinball got promoted and then kidnapped her in Mario Maker

[@mattyp1857]

Wait, superstar saga has that minigame where peach is kidnapped by basic enemies, and could do so more times if you don't lead her in time

[@Glaceburn]

should've given ttyd more credit, the x-nauts managed to get her onto the moon and held her there until the thousand year door opened which allowed them to turn her into the final boss. pretty smart if you ask me

[@elandresde]

It's funny how when Bowser uses a physical build he needs the help of Mario, Luigi, the stars themselves and even the antibodies he grew from the soups Kamek baked to him as a kid to win but when he uses a magic build he just goes like: "Tengo demasiado machismo acumulado; ya fue: hay que doxxear a Dios y robarle todo su poder". I wouldn't even be surprised if Rosalina used the universe reboot to somehow nerf Bowser by forcing him to go physical

[@trentgawd4292]

I love how it seems like everyone is better at kidnapping than bowser is. Even his own son manages better

[@AntonErgo]

For SMW, the GBA version has a little cutscene where the bros have a taste of the cape powerup, and just let peach open for kidnapping while they're practicing their flying.

[@DaemonWorx]

At 11:14 my question is how the heck did not even one toad see the airship and think “huh, maybe we should alert mario”

[@silvershade313]

In bowsers inside story, I’m fairly certain it was actually planned for bowser to just suck in peach, I’m fairly certain fawful did that so she would be easier to grab

[@egg6932]

Isn't TTYD 1000+ IQ because they somehow supplied oxygen to Peach on the moon? And, they also captured her while Mario wasn't even there?

[@justarandompurplefox3243]

Bowser had already lost at the end of Odyssey, asking her to marry him was a last resort

[@someweirdo]

8:42 Why have I never seen this as a reaction meme, this is hilarious 😂

[@FlameHeart3063]

12:35 I'm sorry....did you just call him Faithful???!! What are you?! Jokes aside, great video even with the minor errors I've seen corrected in the comments.

[@bea_chan]

I feel like we have to give points to the Peaches in Paper Jam for setting up decoys to prevent themselves from being kidnapped. While it didn't work in the long run, the Bowsers do fall for it for a bit! Not enough to be docked to Silly Pants tier, but still quite impressive on Peach's part.

[@xanderscookingschool1497]

3:55 Is Bowser not allowed to want an obstacle or challenger for his entertainment? Edit: 64 and Sunshine are also my prime examples to show how Bowser is actually very smart. In the former, he somehow found a way to not only convince the Toads that they're trapped in the castle, but also kidnapped Peach and captured her into her own castle somehow. And in the latter, Bowser sent B. Junes to get all the shine sprites to flee Delfino Island by polluting the island disguised as Mario, which made Mario get arrested and convinced the residents of Delfino Island the the pollution was the islands, not the lack of shine sprite.

[@Goldenbear-_-]

Another time peach gets kidnapped is if u fail to break peach out of the cage waril will come in and turns her into a statue and then takes her ness and Luigi and the DEDEDE kidnaps warios car thing and yea

[@Goldenbear-_-]

In smash brawl BTW

[@hipokeme]

Guessing not a Zelda fan to easily miss the kidnapping from “Wario”

[@Unimportant]

I don't think you give the original Super Mario Bros Bowser enough credit. He didn't just kidnap her, he set up a bunch of decoy castles with no princess in them to throw any would-be-hero off track.

[@ThePencilWizard]

To note, for the toads of SM64 were cursed to be stuck within the castle walls and almost turned into paintings themselves like Peach before Mario gets there hence why they come in and out of translucency.

[@the_lade3146]

I would move the thousand year door kidnapping to at the very least smart. Peach doesn’t get kidnapped when she opens the chest, that’s just when she gets the map for the stars that open the thousand year door. The X-Nauts kidnap Peach off-screen and bring her to a cell on THE MOON via a teleporter that’s hidden in the underground ruins of an ancient city. All of that so that she could be a vessel for the ancient demon spirit they plan to awaken. You could argue that the last part of the plan is somewhat dumb; you can’t expect to be able to control an ancient demon, but regardless, there is an incredible amount of effort in their plan.

[@supleh5937]

8:02 I’ve just played the remake so forgive me if I sound dumb, but the sales person also looks surprised when the box does its weird magic

[@Lilliepup]

I screamed when I saw the Mario and Luigi RPG series games.

[@VolundMush]

My view is, Bowser is not all that "smart" sometimes cuz he's not after Peach out of creepy possessiveness. At best his intentions are like in the recent movie... corny obsessive romance but he has STYLE, he wants to show off how AWESOME he is but he's a bully and a tyrant, not a rapist or a murderer. He has CLASS, in a sense. For Bowser, he seems to do what he does simply to show everyone in the world who's boss. He does it for the fun of it. For the thrill. Sometimes, he also goes above and beyond, like going for the Star Rod but for the most part he seems to just like stirring up trouble and loading other to do something about it. Not much else makes sense.

[@villvall]

I use celsius for degrees so I thought that the 'Room temperature IQ' tier was for the more stupid kidnappings (20°C, 20 IQ) and I was so confused 😭😭

[@themagnificentsansandmylaz4115]

What do you mean? Pinball land is top tier, use the stupidity of others for your own gain

[@TheBester7]

Interesting video! I just wanna point out that we DO get to see how Princess Peach gets kidnapped in Super Mario World, except that we only see this on the Gameboy Advance remake (Super Mario Advance 2). There's a whole cutscene where Mario and Luigi fly with the cape powerup, and we see a bunch of enemies. Then they come back, but Princess Peach is nowhere to be found. I actually expected you to talk about it.

[@alinerodrigues9761]

Actually, in the GBA version of Mario World, there is a cutscene where show how Peach was kidnapped

[@Ganonmustdie2]

I would personally put the original Paper Mario in 1000IQ tier. Bowser went for the confrontation with Mario, which typically is characteristic of a bad kidnapping plan yes, but this wasn't a stupid kidnapping plan. He procured INVINCIBILITY before tackling Mario, only engaged Mario when Bowser knew he'd win, and then beat Mario so badly he rendered him comatose for an unstated period of time. Add that to the floating castle hijinx to imprison not just Peach but also multiple other denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom including ministers and dignitaries, and Bowser's plan was a near foolproof way to nab the princess and eliminate his strongest opposition. Granted, he had no idea what to do after securing the win...but that all happens AFTER the kidnapping.

[@zombathinlostleghackercat5233]

11:36 She probably doesn't know the Koopalings.

[@milesprower6110]

For Supe Mario World, the port for Gameboy Advance (I think it was Advance 2) they show how Mario & Luigi were with Peach for picnic, they started to have some fun with their new power to fly and when they finally return, she was gone.... I think that can go for the Smooth Brain Category as well, lmao.

[@YotamFolyEhke]

Correction: The way Peach was kidnapped in Super Mario World was shown A decade after It's the same As NSMB2 But It was Bowser and he never left a letter

[@Sly88Frye]

I love this tier list. Glad this showed up in my recommendations because yeah it is interesting to actually think about to now think about how smarter dumb the kidnappings were

[@lasercraft32]

They're ALL big brain compared to Mario's smooth brain, he falls for every single one.

[@levilangolf3121]

Aye what about when peach was turned into a statue in her ice garden in Mario Super Sluggers 👀

[@mobbs6426]

Room temp IQ is a very different insult in Europe

[@Mr_Moneyz]

I would have put galaxy 1 in 1000 iq because they take the entire castle into space where the mushroom kingdom technology wouldn’t be able to get to. They even destroyed princess Rosalina’s starship which could have been the only way for Mario to save peach. Although Mario was onboard the castle when it was taken, Mario was hit off the castle and sent into space. This would have completely destroyed any chance at saving peach because Luigi was also captured in one of the galaxies.

[@MrWahoo64]

Goes to show that Junior should never be underestimated, since he directed and executed the top two kidnappings in the whole tier list. Kid deserves his spot as Bowser’s successor

[@KingLit100]

Bowser Jr is seriously 1000 IQ!

[@lennyblox023]

16:26 sonic COULD run fast enough, he just slowed down for a fellow rodent (pikachu)

[@robertlauncher]

Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World implies Bowser took her while Mario and Luigi were playing around with Cape Feathers. Not the brightest idea in my opinion, what if they caught him and decided to fly after them?

[@tinystalker1821]

If it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid.

[@BUGFlower413]

the only thing i'm wondering is if someone ate the cake after the NSMBWII kidnapping. like that was a _LOT_ of cake to just let go to waste. also like, it was her birthday, let the bday girl eat cake

[@josephconover5270]

Exor isn't the main antagonist in Super Mario RPG, that was Smithy. Exor is the transport for them.

[@MsDarkz123]

Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World adds a little intro cutscene of how the kidnapping occurs.

[@Chronoflation]

Origami King is 1000+ IQ because he kidnapped her in a way that not only made her a willing participant, but also got her to work for him and help send away her rescuers

[@Goopyguts]

Fun fact: Sonic could have outran galeems beam but slowed down to try and save Pikachu, but they both got beamed in the process

[@gamerdude491]

This is truly one of the rankings of all time. It's the ranking we have all been curious about without knowing it.

[@supersaiyantravis6962]

I have to dock points off of Galaxy's kidnapping purely because however Bowser contains Peach, she's able to both send mail and gather 1UPs to include with these letters, like just... how?

[@paulomatute4114]

5:56 *Luigi's Mansion trilogy enters the room*

[@franciscotapia9682]

The kidnapping in superstar saga made by a Gritty goomba is the funniest nabbing in the franchise

[@Ilikesceptile11]

14:50 So Bowser used the power of the N-word pass in order to perform the act

[@GameGodZERO]

Iirc Bowser purposely did his plan in PM while Mario was there specifically so he could trounce his nemesis finally So taking the castle while Mario was there was intentional And for Thousand Year Door it wasnt the chest that kidnaps her, it did have a treasure map, and she wrote Mario about coming to help her look for the treasure, sending him the map; and after sending Mario the letter the XNauts kidnap her thinking she still had the map, the act of we dont see

[@victorlinares4137]

Finally some actual good content on this site

[@GameAW1]

Paper Mario should be moved up a tier. Yes Mario was there, and Bowser himself outright says he knew Mario would be there. He planned everything to go the way it did. In other words, the run-in with Mario wasn't an accident, it was expected and planned around. He did it in such a way that Bowser didn't have to give a damn that Mario would be present. Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga also needs a serious second look because later in the game, you learn that they didn't get Peach at all and instead they got Birdo to disguise as Peach and take the fall. She would later get kidnapped by Cackletta (in Bowser's body) when Mario's sick and Luigi is away to get the cure for him, but that was less planned and more convenient timing for Cackletta.

[@Ah0yKatie]

It doesn’t really feel like he understood the narrative choices of, like, any of the Mario RPGs. Apparently he thought Princess Shroob was Princess Peach transformed??? Gonna have to give the media literacy at play a solid “silly pants” tier

[@SomebodyOnYouTube5097]

So, something that I want to say is that Peach actually gets kidnapped twice in Mario and Luigi Dream Team, and the second one is really smart. But first, the first one wasn't her carelessness, rather Antasma's presence. So, as far as the second time goes, we see Bowser and Antasma teamed up to get the Dream Stone, which is promptly followed by the two putting the entire island to sleep to power the Dream Stone, which includes Mario and Luigi. Luigi falls asleep, but goes so far into slumber that the dream portal actually closes while Mario's still inside. After successfully reopening the portal, Mario and Luigi get the idea to protect Peach from Bowser by hiding her in the Dream World while they take care of Bowser and Antasma. However, like 3 hours after initially bringing Peach into the Dream World, fighting through to get further, it turns out that Bowser already had Peach, and it's implied he kidnapped her while Luigi was asleep. It's revealed that Kamek was actually in the Peach costume, and he summons the Elite Trio to fight the bros off. This fight also is kinda smart as far as the enemies go because if you don't defeat all three at the same time, you don't win. So essentially, they dragged Mario super deep into the dream world without him knowing that he wasn't actually doing this for Peach, and then take him out without an escape route. The Mario and Luigi games are awesome man... 10,000 IQ