THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES #93 - Contaminant

MAG083 - Case #9950503 - Lester Chang
Statement regarding the cleaning habits of their father-in-law.
The Magnus Archives tells the tale of their fastidious father-in-law whose concern over the state of their house became somewhat alarming after they became a widower.
Content Notes: OCD, mould
Starring: The Archivist - Jonathan Sims; Georgie Barker - Sasha McKenna
Writer: Jonathan Sims
Director: Alexander J Newall
Editors: Alexander J Newall, James Austin, Brock Winstead
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[@samlueke2855]

jon interacting with that cat might have been the cutest thing i have ever heard

[@lokimemes4694]

Sam Lueke Exactly what we all needed after 92

[@RoseMultiverse]

Sam Lueke Ah so this is why people keep drawing that cat in the tumblr art

[@b-blythe6763]

the cat's little purrs

[@mom2lane]

"Ope....that's your ass....yup" and I actually choked and died.

[@emmaliving588]

10/10 would recommend

[@KittyLuvYou]

I came for the archivist, but stayed for the cat.

[@echowolf22]

Mood :D

[@syrusangi8743]

You decided to stay for the cat after 93 episodes?! 🤣

[@dull_demon4717]

​@@syrusangi8743 i mean, jon is kinda cat like, but now theres an actual cat

[@RainWelsh]

Honestly, *feline shrieking* “please stop hurting me” “oh, there’s your arse” *belly rubs intensify* “yep, see you next week” just sums up cat ownership so perfectly, I love it

[@v3pic]

"I bet the world ends and you do just fine". Relistening to this series is perfection.

[@voidjockey82]

I was looking for just such a comment. Took a while so thank you.

[@cocoTr33]

Spoiler alert

[@alexandraluster284]

Well, it IS cat. World ends, cats are thriving.

[@nimblejarl7635]

​@@alexandraluster284Just like Stray predicted

[@peacebuddha96]

Can you keep your fucking spoilers to uourself or give a warning????

[@tifftom2132]

the beginning with Admiral is so adorably accurate. Cats are always like "hey, hey pet me. Here's my ass. Look. Look at my ass."

[@mechengr1731]

"Now I'm done, dont touch me or even look at me."

[@albuseisenhorn3385]

Arin Hanson is that you?

[@NaturallyCapricious]

"pet me, tell me you love me, and then I'm going to bite you and act like I hate yoooouuuu"

[@dull_demon4717]

Mine is either that or "Im going to climb everything in sight!" or "you wont pay attention so im going to destroy toilet paper and the box of litter"

[@dopesunbear]

I was doing some photography once and my cat stepped in front of the camera just as I took a picture. Half of the picture is just his dingaling, ass, and smug face looking back at the camera.

[@HumanMordecai]

"we dedicated a minute and a half of todays episode to a cat terrorizing jon and we're still the best"

[@broblerone413]

even better actually, jon hanging out with a cat is the best thing

[@bandersnatch9793]

We dedicated an additional 10 minutes to Jon's ex putting him through a paper shredder and now we're even better

[@stranger666karma7]

​@@bandersnatch9793 her criticising Jon's qualifications 😭 Formal qualifications aren’t everything, Georgie

[@launch_queen]

"Jonathan Sims, are you trying to save the world?" when you put it like that it's like an adventure!

[@smeevca]

I feel like in a different genre and a different series this would've been the end of the pilot episode

[@saurabhsharma6939]

Well all horror stories ARE adventure

[@clayxros576]

@@smeevca In this story, we have to figure out if it's even possible.

[@hp_minecraft522]

Jon having a formal conversation with a cat gives me so much serotonin

[@miratarnish6316]

Only Jon would address a cat like they're an actual Admiral

[@KemonoPriestessHazuki]

"What is something you would never choose to tell me?" *[Static noises got louder]*

[@KemonoPriestessHazuki]

The Eye = The Magnus Institute The Desolation = Cult of the lightless flame, Agnes Montegue The Stranger = People's church of the divine host(?) Michael Salesa, The 2 gigantic men with a cockney accent, probably the ones also seen back in Yuri Utkin's statement. The End = Lukas Family? errrr.

[@KemonoPriestessHazuki]

i have a vibe telling me that there will be a "neo" People's church of the divine host stuff, its too early for them to go "bye-bye" ;w;

[@KemonoPriestessHazuki]

This season is jampacked with stuff * W * I'll stop for now. But yeah, I think the open and closed eye cults is somehow associated to the Ceaseless Watcher deity too, like the magnus Institute, but lesser when it comes to understanding the god.... remember the father, who got a lot of photos and stuff? maybe it is also a ritual to appease the Eye, the beholding.

[@mimkyodar]

@@KemonoPriestessHazuki You're off the mark on Lukas there.

[@beltaya276]

i feel like theres a void related one... and also a web related one but i cant recall any names associated with one. from what i can gather so far the groups seem to be the eye, the desolation, the stranger, the end, the web, the flesh and maybe a void one???

[@tonio1377]

2 things: One, having Jon explain everything about the Entities to Georgie was really helpful !! Now I understand what the Stranger is x) Second GIVE ME MORE SCENE BETWEEN JON AND A CAT THIS ID THE CUTEST THING EVER

[@Kennitto]

GEORGIE JUST COMING FOR HIS WHOLE LIFE

[@mabelmouland6114]

What?

[@flying_pig_girl]

She really decided to snatch his _whole_ wig!!!

[@Iquey]

When she said she thought he was taking his accent. I felt that.

[@clayxros576]

Georgie just compelled him with the Mom Look. Legendary

[@defme1]

i absolutely adore how level headed Georgie is when Jonathan is trying to explain everything, what a champ

[@clayxros576]

Georgie should be the archivist. She has a shred of "Sure let's go with it" that Jon lacks

[@tonybradford678]

That fact she is taking this so well, makes me very suspicious of her, she could be a player in all this.

[@fish3977]

Well they are a ghost investigator and has apparently met death or something so...

[@Novastarlight_]

She makes me uneasy honestly.... I don't *like* her for some reason...

[@mistydevillier2197]

​@Novastarlight_ how can you not like Georgie!?

[@caniusdirus]

I love how the cats in this whole podcast have names like Admiral and Major Tom. Makes me feel like there should be a few more names 'Supervisor' or 'Constable'.

[@nanahuatli2144]

Board Director Whiskers.

[@matthewhaggar]

Profe Maullido

[@rileyhunter7753]

You mean “supurrvisor” ;)

[@deadinthename]

Evan and Kaitlyn? Anyone? Just me?

[@caniusdirus]

@@deadinthename #doublefingerguns yeeeee :D

[@proinsiascassidy2888]

"Belly rubs?? That could've been us, but you playin, Jon" - Martin, probably

[@c.r.4985]

Oh my god

[@Forlorn_Overseer]

I'M SCREAMING AJABAHAHHAGZ

[@doctorjay8673]

Martin definitely

[@mxxnlight111]

jon saying "HEAD archivist of the Magnus Institue" made me so happy i screamed. HES BACK ON BOARD BABYYY

[@flying_pig_girl]

I'm sorry but where's the voice credits to Admiral????

[@RoseMultiverse]

flying_pig_girl sounds exact like my cat

[@WholesomeCryptid]

i believe it's Jonnys sims (the writer) actual pet cat Ambassador!

[@amphitritemists4595]

Im pretty sure its just stock cat noises😂

[@theprideling]

@@amphitritemists4595 Nope, they brought in an actual cat. It stole some of that cast's food.

[@amphitritemists4595]

@@theprideling That's an amazing fun fact that's made my day =D

[@McHelterSkelter]

Most underrrated joke so far in the series, my laugh is just hissing soundlessly out of my mouth. Just, "when I first met you, i thought you were putting on that accent just to sound impressive" F-ing wheezing at that.

[@jojoceda]

BUT WHAT WAS THAT STATIC BEFORE WAS IT JUST JON OR .

[@jormungandrworldserpent6437]

@@jojoceda lol, yes, it was John using his “compulsion” abilities

[@lightninghedgehog5963]

Fun fact, apparently a bunch of people thought the irl voice actor was fully faking the accent (he emphasizes it a little, but if you listen to the Q+As it’s not that different from his usual voice)

[@broblerone413]

@@lightninghedgehog5963 yeah lol it's cool they decided to actually include a joke referencing that

[@mrjones2721]

No matter how great, how dedicated, or how pompous, all are brought low by one demanding kitty.

[@joyfullyitdevours]

“there were some,, murders” “o h. O H.”

[@gabrielbruce1977]

"Well. S h i t."

[@mr.sheeppeehs4204]

Subject: “This excessive cleaning is unhealthy.” Father in law: *downs 3 bottles of alcohol* “no, that’s unhealthy”

[@kiyara94]

"Aah yup, that's your arse. Thanks for that" yeah that about sums up living with a cat xD I adore the Admiral and also am gonna check does the dog die cause I need to be prepared for possible kitty death Edit: bless the creators for assuring us no pets we meet will come to harm, I'm relieved!

[@rosemarycat5]

This is what i was checking the comments for. Thank you!

[@JaneyCakes805]

Jon interacting with a cat is literally the best thing that has ever happened to my ears. This is the true ASMR

[@clovercard22]

".....alright you want a belly rub...? aaAaA WRONG HAND CAT WRONG HAND"

[@jambur6577]

Petition for more admiral and Jon interaction

[@BreadGolem]

Signed

[@CapitanaGabs]

Signed

[@georgiaf1354]

Signed

[@riversrieds5247]

Signed

[@kingofallfrogs]

Signed

[@lilimia100]

i would die for Admiral

[@tharchandran3709]

Awwww...after all Jon's been through, I'm glad he's getting some kitty love. :3

[@stortsy]

Currently crying tears of joy because it’s my first time listening and I kind of understand what’s going on now, I’m too dumb for this podcast lmao

[@mayormayo1853]

Oh me too lol I always scroll down to the comments section to see if someone spelled out what happened

[@dendakrmelova1201]

and that's why i've been taking notes since like season 1

[@nopeimout3182]

I got spoiled so I always kinda knew, but still it's nice being sure.

[@mayormayo1853]

@Nope, I'm out! A good way to avoid being spoiled is to listen to it on Spotify so there’s no comment section lol that’s what I started doing after getting spoiled

[@AmazingAroAce]

mood

[@Miztli3]

Why did nobody tell me there was a kitty

[@germanerd6148]

There is a kitty

[@namaschu9418]

@@germanerd6148 thx for telling

[@amphitritemists4595]

They mentioned there was a kitty before i thought we just never heard from the kitty😊

[@RoseMultiverse]

BREKON & HOPE!? These mad lads are just everywhere, aren’t they?

[@Mia-hh9uh]

“Head Archivist of the megnus institute” I’m not the only one who got a rush of nostalgia 😅

[@b-blythe6763]

so what i'm getting from this is both Jon and Martin were equally unqualified for their positions, Jon was just better at hiding it lol

[@debbiebishop86]

uh oh! there's a fungus among us

[@plxnetastro]

how is this comment more relevant 6 months later.

[@deadinthename]

@@plxnetastro this aged well, didn't it

[@DSCDUO]

Well this aged well

[@Jbip]

get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head

[@winterwolf211]

What is it with the author trying to mark Jon with a scar from all the entities 🤣

[@ksimvanderhlaar]

*nervous laughter*

[@mimkyodar]

The admiral. Truly the fiercest of all the entities.

[@kyberserpent6397]

Oh honey...

[@moredoor9178]

The author is Jon, sooo......

[@twigthetroll9279]

**shaky nervous chuckling that slowly transitions into evil laughter which builds up in volume before eventually turning into broken sobs**

[@BreadGolem]

Next season better be nothing but Jon playing with the Admiral or I'm throwing hands.

[@Yaldabaoth413]

I don't know if you guys read this comment section, but I want you all to know that I LOVE this podcast. I'm almost caught up now and I can't wait to see where the story goes from here. Thank you so much for all the work you put into making such an excellent show.

[@noimnothim1662]

Yaldabaoth if you are only watching on youtube, they are up to Episode 115 on the podcast itself. I haven't been able to put it down lol

[@Yaldabaoth413]

@@noimnothim1662 I know thank you. I've been listening there too but I thought I should comment here since there's no comment option on Android podcasts

[@RustyQuill]

We do indeed and thank you very much!

[@sandymcneish7820]

@@RustyQuillI only listen to this on KZbin but I know season 4 is almost done so when are you planning to upload that?

[@RustyQuill]

@@sandymcneish7820 The current season is almost half-way through, but we're not going to wait for the end before uploading this time round. Expect Season 4 to start here in May at some point.

[@purplecatloverrandompizza]

We love Georgia being the only person to actually point out how weird it is that he suddenly got the job as head archivist with no experience

[@agoatinthecircus125]

oh boy i was on the edge of my chair for when he was going to say the words and the way he slightly hesitates before calling himself the archivist has me like 👀👀👀

[@klltsun_2576]

I wanted someone to give Jon a hug, but a cat demanding some pets is close enough. When he started again, his voice was a little stronger. Purring is also in some sort of frequency that promotes healing! Thank you Admiral ❤️

[@CallMeNIBS]

God im so in love with georgie

[@cutiepie120048]

I can hear the static pick up the moment he "Questions". Cool!

[@ironbarsjack7977]

I wore headphones for the first time listening to this and I heard the static when he used his powers and I just think that’s really neat

[@vX-ter_]

The silence when georgie didnt answer about the death entity thing was deafening. Also admiral just walking in to get some attention and belly rubs while jon is recording is adorable :D

[@xiaocheng6643]

The curious thing about cats is, many people think they don't care, but they do. When a cat likes a human it will come find them whenever the person seems distressed, agitated or suffering. The cat will choose to lay in the person's lap, on their chest or somewhere beside them, asking for pets and purring loudly, because they know it will help, distress and heal. Cats know how to love. They will help when needed and seek out affection on their own terms. Knowing this, Jon being "bothered" by The Admiral until he audibly smiles is such a nice touch. You can feel this small moment of respite was something he desperately needed. And it clearly shows how exhausted and especially mentally drained he is at this point.

[@kehlcassidy9562]

My mom's cat is normally very aloof, but when I am sick he becomes a blanket. Cats are so intuitive and so soft

[@daisybell5884]

I love admiral, and it’s good for John to get some nice kitty love to help with the stress

[@DarkRelm22]

Me: still in many moods from the last episode less then a minute ago: :( The Admiral: -cat noises- Jon: -happy cat owner sounds- Me: -broken, squished, squeaky toy noises- bABY!!! KITTY!! :D!!!!!

[@_kai2702]

"its fine, you were asleep" ah, so he does sleep! good.

[@dogzilla8you]

lovely hearing jon be able to talk and vent about his experiences without judgement. georgie mvp! i hope nothing bad happens to her ...

[@belindaluna2067]

I can't help but think things like this are going to save Jon. The eye is about disconnected watching, but if he stays connected...I mean, look at Agnes.

[@TheJuliana0901]

yeah!!! reminds me of that one conversation she had with... Barnabas? when she asked the man if he had a fate, he said no, and she said "that'd be nice"

[@Companion92]

I'm so happy, that Jon has somebody to talk too.

[@maguc5906]

Jon trying to explain that monsters are real only for Georgie to roast him for not being qualified for the job, classic

[@nanahuatli2144]

We need a legion of cats to bring down the stress levels. Georgie's the best. It's so refreshing to see a character who's understanding and believes all the crazy shit. She has a statement to make, of course.

[@eliwhite6159]

baby. adorable. if admiral dies i will let out an unrelenting sob of pain

[@SilverDemon456]

I love how Jon sounds so exhausted and depressed in the beginning but then the cat appears and when he leaves Jon doesn't sound so sad anymore :)

[@user-vi4kq7rb1m]

I love Admiral and would die for him/her aaaah Also, i love this podcast and it deserves so much more regonition♡

[@jackdawalexander9359]

im literally just sat here weeping over jon and the admiral at one seventeen in the morning and i feel like that gives a clear insight into my mental state lmao

[@horrificreader4084]

F But also *yes cat make Jon happy*

[@RemiStarz26]

It is a horrifying thing that I read this comment at 1:14 in the morning Thank you for giving more terror as I listen to this podcast

[@Cris.as.in_Crisis]

It probably wasn't intentional, but the beginning with Admiral and Jon going "wrong hand" reminds me of the way cats can sometimes sense when people are hurt and will purr next to that person as a way of comforting them. Jon's probably been in a lot of pain lately, and I'd like to think Admiral was trying to help him feel better in his own cat way

[@HyacinthoIgnis]

oh wow, georgie taking it in like a champ! technically mike didnt give him a scar but oof, i hope he gets an encounter with no scars from it and none from the aftermatch

[@nanahuatli2144]

Not a physical scar, anyway!

[@jadynnkotch1833]

GEORGIE IS TAKING NONE OF JON'S CRAP

[@RoseMultiverse]

That father-in-law... what a *fungi!*

[@TheNitpickChick]

Eyyyy 👉😎👉

[@juliapazosmaidana2929]

*Live-audience laugh*

[@Drak_buddy]

The fact that my cat came and went at the same time as admiral is adorable to me

[@Kefkaesque13]

Georgie (host of a ghost hunting podcast): Would one of these thing's happen to be Death? Me (first time listener): Oooohhhhh Nooooooo

[@shinyorbo9353]

i love when fungus turns me into the man behind the slaughter

[@alicestolze8327]

OMG ADMIRALLLLL SO CUTEEEEE

[@kyralemieux1271]

The start of this episode is actually me with my cat in every serious call I try to have for my postgrad course during isolation. "Yep- okay, that's your ass. Thanks for that."

[@Child_of_Fae]

When Jon asked to meet a monster that does not leave him with a new scar or something I really believed that Georgie would be like "Yo, plottwist, I'm a monster" I mean, there was even a short silence after he said this

[@headofathousandsheepswool]

So that's why jon is doing the voice acting for the statements! It's not acting, he feels it

[@espinacasable]

Georgie believing Jon so readily and not interrupting or making him feel crazy is really getting to me. With horror in general there's always a neurodivergent reading somewhere in there but it's never nice. This series is truly something else

[@aw3707]

the static is such a wonderful detail!!! im so glad that georgie believes jon. makes things a lot easier. (also, like others, I would die for the admiral. baby kitten.)

[@mrs.han_whitethorn]

YES ADMIRAL I LOVE YOU. WE STAN A KING. WE LOVE A LEGEND!! HOW QUICKLY HE LEFT IS MY TWO CATS

[@AnanasVert]

"Yep, that's your ass, thanks for that" Cat owner mood right there

[@laurenbosley8803]

I was half-listening to this episode whilst preparing dinner and thought for the longest time that Lester was in a polyamorous relationship because my brain forgot Danny/Dani/etc could also be a female name...

[@cutiepie120048]

😂😂😂

[@cmcoy5982]

Danielle

[@pollux_the_insufferable.]

yeah

[@nojhjnbj]

John w the cat IS SO WHOLESOME OMG.

[@ButterflyColors]

Can I just say I love the sound of Jon’s powers. Usually the sound of static (especially in this show) is irritating and uncomfortable, but here it’s kinda enjoyable and cozy

[@TheJuliana0901]

oh, the eternal horror of being a man with ocd being overtaken by filth. LOVE Georgie, LOVE how readily she believed it. I kind of like... how Elias recognized that not all knowledge is theoretical or intelectual? He said Jon would have to actually go through things to truly know, truly understand, and I just think that's true in a lot of things

[@ohrions]

THE ADMIRAL AND JON INTERACTING THAT WAS THE CUTESTTTT

[@fluffsnake]

oh boy the way this ended I fear for Georgie, is she already involved in something and Jon won't be able to help her because he'd feel compelled to "study" what is happening instead????? oh wow now I am the paranoid one

[@MirunaNero]

Late but as a first time listener it kinda. Feels like Jon isn't *exactly* compelled? Like Elias said, he had many different points where he could simply leave but he didn't. He pressed on anyways in an undying pursuit to know Given Gertrude's actions it seems like that beyond being "bound" to the observer or whatever its name is, they're mostly free... This is just. A simmering crackpot theory but the observer seems... Neutral. And it doesn't care whether they act on their knowledge or simply stand back and record, as long as knowledge is being taken in. Because for all of Elias' bluster about "sitting back and simply observing out of curiosity" he still wants the unknowing to be stopped and he still killed Gertrude and Jurgen and he still fed Jon tapes etc So it seems hypocritical that he takes that stance

[@wren5926]

Me to my cat during my online classes

[@hamburgerdog25]

Looks like even the cosmic forces beyond this realm of reality are no match for a cat in desire of belly rubs. I do love that Admiral puts Jon in a better mood immediately. Maybe that was the goal

[@acidslushie]

OH THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE... full minute of jon petting a silly little kitty cat im boutta cry

[@AnaLuiza-bb3hy]

“there is mold in my drain” every time i listen to this part i get chills bruh. i can visualize the scene completely in my head and it makes my skin crawl. imagine being the dude who hears this while the father in law says this deliberately looking into his eyes. ew

[@lukabellerose3385]

as a cat owner, listening to jon interact with admiral is one of the best things

[@smeevca]

I! LOVE! GEORGIE!

[@pianos4095]

Honestly me too

[@Entias]

"The world ends, and you do just fine" -Jon to The Admiral That statement aged...interestingly

[@backtonad]

Never thought id miss Jon saying "Head archivist of the magnus institute"

[@missep1830]

Admiral trying to give his statement, Jon failing by not understanding Cat

[@V_Cerra]

Admiral is the closest thing where Jon is having some kind of treatment and it's the best thing i can imagine for his wellbeing so far.

[@aw3707]

"thank god.." the observer: Yes That Is Me You Are Welcome :)

[@yeetusdeletus84]

Georgie really making me feel some typa way- Didn't know I could fall in love with a voice but here I am-

[@starsixseven9259]

Georgie's murdering him with words there

[@ashcanicall5297]

I dont think I'm ready for whatever horrors await Jon. I'm so attached to him 😭

[@bindablinda]

that slight change of tone when jon used his power just hit me like a truck

[@Shadowreaper5]

Boy she seems super chill about his whole explanation. Makes me think she's had a run in of her own. Edit: also what does everyone have against the word "eldrich". It's designed for situations like this.

[@pollux_the_insufferable.]

im not a native speaker , i heard ppl use that word , from context i understand that its referring to monsters? i mean i heard , eldrich god many times or old eldrich goddess

[@Shadowreaper5]

@@pollux_the_insufferable. Eldrich means "something otherworldly, weird, ghostly, or uncanny." People often associate Eldrich Horror with the works of H.P. Lovecraft.

[@pollux_the_insufferable.]

@@Shadowreaper5 thank you

[@Hero_DZN]

Jon hesitating and they saying the "head archivist of the magnus institute" line, made me smile really hard he got a bit of ""home""" back

[@sofiv95]

If anyone is worried about the cat don't be! It was already said that no pets will be harmed in the show

[@lokimemes4694]

Jon: "Bet the world ends and you do just fine" Me, up to 192: Oh wow that's, uh,,,,,, something

[@trucetruce335]

ACCURATE CAT INTERACTIONS

[@AlysidaMagica]

I’ve been rewatching this series during work the past few days. Why is it that statements about the Corruption always pop up while I’m on my lunch break?

[@hannahcartwright8190]

"I don't know what I just witnessed," You just witnessed your father in law becoming Señor Mold Man, congrats

[@Harleymotor]

Dude Jon's interaction with Admiral is so on point I literally pictured my cat

[@penusbutter4182]

this didnt need to to feature Admiral but it did and i thank jesus for that every day