RWTPW

[@katrinaa7581]

Can’t wait to watch this, I’m a birth mother in a closed adoption. The adoptive parents promised an open adoption but after some issues they decided to close it about 12 years ago, my son is 13 years old. It’s heartbreaking but I’m strong enough to have an opened mind and work on myself. Thank you. 💖💖💖

[@blondeartistmanagement2665]

One thing about storytelling is that you start where people are, so I think starting at Adoption is love, makes sense. Then, once you've hooked them you lead them to the story you want to tell. Kudos.

[@DewLaProductions]

yes, thank you!

[@lindsaygibson1518]

Looking forward to seeing the whole film. It is one of the most complex of topics, it's got it all going on. The more we can talk about it the better.

[@DewLaProductions]

Thanks! Agreed. Almost everyone I’ve talked to who isn’t adopted is like hmmm I never thought about it that way...I guess it is kinda sad. Will update Instagram the most @theprimalwound

[@kb3239]

Looking forward to watching this, my aunt Doris helped out :) amazing

[@DewLaProductions]

Doris is definitely in this film! What a harrowing story she has to tell. Thanks for commenting!

[@laurendavis9203]

I can’t wait to see this when it comes out! Great job on the trailer! 💖

[@DewLaProductions]

Thanks, Lauren!! There's a newsletter on the website :) www.theprimalwound.com

[@DewLaProductions]

Nancy has weighed in on @angieboom's comment about Adoption not being love. So, on behalf of Nancy Verrier "I certainly understand where they’re coming from. Their lives were completely manipulated, usually by a society which thinks it (society ‘s collective values at the time) knows best. One problem is that human beings think they’re smarter than any other species. This may be true for some things, but we have to remember where we fit in the scheme of things. For instance, we are mammals. Watch Animal Planet to see how mammals treat their young. Who takes care of the babies? We have those mammalian glans for a reason. We have instincts that are very strong. Yet we find all kinds of ways to by-pass those instincts. It often has to do with money. Please remember: all human (and other mammals) know who their mothers are through their instincts, their sensory memories, their intuition and so forth. Everyone else is “not mom”. We are being naive to think that we humans can just exchange one mother for another, the baby won’t know it, and everything will be fine. We may fool ourselves, but we don’t fool the babies. THEY KNOW. And they are confused, disregulated, and disorganized and they begin coping right from the get-go. This is what The Primal Wound is all about -coping mechanisms. The first two chapters of Coming Home to Self give a more clinical explanation of this. It gives the reasons that adoptees don’t usually believe that adoption has much to do with why they feel and act the way they do. It has to do with the difference between implicit and explicit memory Believe me, it has nothing to do with who they are. That actually has more to do with their genetics. But from the minute they open their eyes and see “not mom” and feel a whole different set of sensory signals that are foreign to what they were used to, they begin to cope with their situation and try to adapt to their present circumstances. There is a sense that this is necessary for survival. This does not change the essence of who they are, but it may make it difficult to maintain that authentic person as they live this alternative life. Survival means fitting in. Now about adoption not being love. I know that I loved my adopted daughter right from the start....all the while she was trying to figure who I was and “where is mom?” And today there is a great deal of love between us. We all have a deep love for one another. I couldn’t ask for more wonderful daughters. But when I gave birth to my second daughter-that very day-I vowed that my first daughter would meet her first mother. I couldn’t imagine how either of them survived that separation. It took awhile because California is a closed state so far as adoption records are concerned, but we beat those trying to keep secrets from this one group of people who don’t have the basic right to know who they are and to whom they are related like everyone else. Amazing! Yet there are people who can beat the system. So today my daughter has two mothers who love her and who love each other as well. Not a bad thing, huh? But it started as unnatural in the beginning, with many bumps along the way. There can be love in adoption but everyone needs to know how difficult it is for the adoptee who had no conscious or explicit memory of the events which lead to this unnatural way of joining a family to which they’re not genetically related. There are hundreds of ways in which we are related to our biological families. And when a child grows up within those families they see themselves reflected over and over again. This lets them know Yes this is where I belong. Adopted children are always trying to observe how they need to adapt in order to feel as if they belong. And if they don’t seem to quite “make it” they believe they failed just as they failed to get mommy back. It helps a great deal if everyone in an adoption situation understands these things. That’s part of the story. You all can fill in with your own experiences. But just remember: You started life as a perfect human baby. Then unnatural things started happening to you. Those experiences may have determined how you felt and how you acted, but it didn’t change the essence of who you are. You don’t need to identify with those feelings and behaviors. Just allow yourselves to become who you truly are."

[@angieboom1177]

Nancy, I read your book decades ago and have guided hundreds of Adoptees to it. I understand everything you say, but I cannot agree with all of it. You, as an AP (and other APs) may have chosen adoption out of love, but *adoption* itself is not love. Adoption is the permanent, legal severing of a child from their biological family for their entire lives (even if they are reunited, the law does not recognize them as family) and the permanent alteration of their identity as a human being. None of that has to do with love. Even if Adoptees love their adoptive families, and their adoptive families love them - which is not always the case, quite often not the case- adoption itself is not love. A woman or girl giving away her very own born child because she is unsupported, scared, brainwashed, or forced is not an act of love- it is an act of fear or desperation. So no, I will stand by my statment that adoption is not love.

[@jancollins4392]

When does the documentary come out?

[@DewLaProductions]

trying to up the engagement and views for a solid pitch strategy! Hopefully within 6-12 months :)

[@jancollins4392]

@@DewLaProductions awesome! How can we be kept in the loop?

[@DewLaProductions]

@@jancollins4392 of course! and follow us on instagram @theprimalwound for updates, too. and if you fill out contact form on website I'll have your email address and make a newsletter soon. :)

[@nonayobiznez5311]

I hope the documentary is more clear than this intro. I find this confusing.

[@DewLaProductions]

What do you find confusing about the trailer?

[@angieboom1177]

Adoption IS NOT love and if we are going to be honest about the heartbreak of adoption, then you shouldn't be stating that it is.

[@DewLaProductions]

So the fact that the love changed to loss was kinda lost on ya, huh? You can come through with your hot take, that's fine.

[@angieboom1177]

@@DewLaProductions It was never love to begin with, that is the point. APs watching this will see "It's love AND loss." But it's not both, because it was never love to begin with. Women who are told adoption is an act of love are being told a LIE.

[@DewLaProductions]

Well that’s kinda where the trailer goes, no? Did you watch the whole thing?

[@angieboom1177]

@@DewLaProductions Yes, I did. I am an Adoptee, and I know the way APs think. They will conflate the two and in their minds because they believe the love is more important than the loss.

[@DewLaProductions]

Ok. I hear you and am also an adoptee. I started with that part of the narrative bc AP’s are who I want to watch this film. I don’t want to deny their experience and starting with what you’re saying wouldn’t get anyone to really listen and hear us. Glad you weighed in, thanks.

[@cingocia2760]

E' un incubo..... per me e per la mia famiglia adottiva che essendo settantenni non potevano sapere.....

[@DewLaProductions]

grazie per la condivisione

[@cingocia2760]

@@DewLaProductions prego.....