Ryle Accidentally Pushes Lily Down the Stairs - It Ends With Us | Blake Lively

[@cammielinford9919]

Every time her name is said “Lily Blossom Bloom” “Lily Bloom” it just takes me out of the story and it’s real hard for me to take anything going on seriously

[@bananamanchester4156]

Perfect Victim mentality is when we expect the victim of DV or abuse to have consistently acted in the most sensible, non-confrontational and polite way possible. Anything other than perfect behaviour from a victim of abuse is met with accusations of provoking their abuser. The truth is, when we put someone in an intensely stressful situation, they're going to respond with stress. When you repeatedly violate someone's boundaries and make them frightened or unhappy, they might respond by yelling, trying to fight back, having intense anxiety and clinging to you, or any number of unhelpful reactions. So, what differentiates this from abuse, you may ask? After all, he was trying to leave, and she wouldn't let him go. That's a violation of boundaries, right? Well, contextualise her behaviour for a second. By this point in the movie, he had already hurt her once before. She is afraid of his temper. He has also engaged in a fight with her ex-boyfriend, simply because he caught them talking in private. He has shown clear signs of jealousy over her when she has been faithful to him. He has made her feel responsible for soothing him when he is angry, blaming his trauma for his actions to get her sympathy (I believe this was subconscious on his part but still important to note that HE doesn't feel responsible for his actions). And now he has shoved her down the stairs, endangering her life, and lied/gaslit about it. So what differentiates her actions from his? Power. He is setting the tone for their interactions. Her mood hinges entirely on his mood. He acts, she reacts. This is important, people. This is important because it is the underlying message of the movie. This is important because victims stay in relationships like this for longer than they should, because they think their stress responses make them just as bad as the abuser. It is important because internet commenters hear the stories of real life survivors, tut, and point out the one thing they did imperfectly to provoke their abuser.

[@sayelashkari2724]

Im a vict too. My husbond pushed me hard to get me out of his room, this led to torn ACL. I had a surgery and hard time to heal. And can't have my previous feelings for him ever.

[@julie.66]

so you are divorced,right??😢😢😢😢😢i hope.he should even pay the court/you for all this emotional damage.divorce should help the victim .i hate him,yoir ex.my ex was the same.

[@julie.66]

i mean IF you arent then move away first,with help of a woman help center smthg like that,maybe get a new job if you dont have ,THEN ask for divorce and there must be legal aid in your country.he is the one at fault so it should be hard for him to win or pay nothing💪💗

[@victoriaford8449]

It’s Ends With Us this scene was so crazy Ryle gaslighting Lily 😮

[@kittymaui]

yea he kept asking her to say things for him to hear instead of really asking her if she was ok - subtle but it is exactly how it starts - controlling the narrative

[@hollygiese4839]

I don’t understand how he’s gaslighting her issues of chase him and he turned around quickly and she fell. I don’t understand how they’re saying he pushed her.

[@wolf2966]

he said she tripped if you go back he did push her but it was more to push her out of the way and when in that head space and that environment such as stair cases accidents are bound to happen the issue is he isn't owning up to his end of the blame i can see it being an accident and if he showed remorse for his actions but he's intentionally saying she fell because she made a mistake instead of saying he pushed her out of the way without thinking and ended up hurting her and they should discuss how both would wish to handle future situations and arguments so something like that never happens again i regrettably accidently hit my girl on the cheek one time because i had my back turned and turned around arms essentially flailing from frustration i was angry cause my car had broken down and i wasn't being rational immediately after i owned up to what i did showed remorse and then few hours later we discussed in length for like 5 hours how we should best handle one another when either one of us is angry and how each of us wants to handle conflict with the other it hasn't happened again since

[@Ennui83]

The bigger issue is the lies he's telling about the incident after the fact.

[@friendshipforever12]

Justin is such a good actor… people get distracted by his beauty. He will get far the older he gets. I also believe Blake and him had a real chemistry here. And that he actually got lost in feelings given his strong loyal beliefs … he ultimately created a reverse psychology drama around the fights they had to not upset Emily. But hey, just a guess.

[@ellenchavez2043]

He's an abuser. It is about control. He'll spread honey or use fists, just as long as he's in control.

[@holly3359]

I don't see his "beauty" like everyone else. Nice smile but I guess I'm the odd one that doesn't see a handsome guy.

[@friendshipforever12]

@ Not odd at all. He is a stereotype of beauty. Thank god everyone has a different taste, the world would be boring otherwise.

[@holly3359]

@@friendshipforever12 very true. Not saying he's ugly, just not my type. Your comment is very refreshing against the many others in my past who claimed I had no taste or I'm too picky.

[@friendshipforever12]

@@holly3359 that incredible … maybe you see things others don’t - and that’s a gift 🎁

[@chloelittleton9047]

“accidentally”. that was purposeful wth.

[@carmellem6813]

That's so inappropriate. It's like announcing your pregnancy during your friends baby shower. 🚩

[@sharonstevenson1770]

Get over it.omg

[@matsyvanoers]

It's a movie

[@jackchop1576]

❤❤ ALL women are heroes! ❤❤

[@SaraFeatherling-jf9mx]

Get over it it’s a movie

[@rogueryder3285]

It is a little rude

[@melissanoyb]

Are we not going to address the fact that he repeatedly said, "Stop"." He's trying to get away from her, then she steps in front of him on the first step. Where is her awareness in this situation?

[@dkg_gdk]

are we not going to address the fact that he hit her and the pushed her? did you not watch the movie?

[@mcnoneya]

That’s what I was thinking I had an abusive father, my mom left him, that being said she didn’t respect his boundaries. That being said he had me until he said “tell me it’s nothing” that’s when he lost me. That’s him gaslighting her and manipulating her.

[@mcnoneya]

@@dkg_gdkhe didn’t hit her in this scene his it the ground

[@bananamanchester4156]

Perfect Victim mentality is when we expect the victims of abuse to act perfectly, at all times, or else we accuse them of provoking the abuser (at best) or deserving it (at worst). People act in stupid, uncharacteristic ways when placed in a situation they have no control over. They might yell or say hurtful things, they might hit back physically, or they might do what Lily did- panic, ignore the boundary being set and cling to their abuser in an attempt to keep them from leaving and doing something awful to someone else/ themselves. Lily knows Ryle has intense mental health issues and anger issues. Now, if a stable man had an argument with his wife over her ex-boyfriend, you'd assume he was going to go and calm himself down, right? Maybe a walk, a drive, maybe going to have a beer or two before returning to the home. What about an unstable man with a volatile temper? Where would you assume he's going? Here's what I would assume- straight to the ex-boyfriends house to give him a hiding. Or maybe straight to a bridge to jump off. When someone shows they aren't trustworthy, we fear them. And that's not her fault. He has the power in this situation, not her. He can choose to hurt her, or himself, or anyone else, and he's shown he is willing to do that. But sure. It's her fault for ignoring when he said stop. Perfect Victim Mentality in action.

[@holly3359]

@@mcnoneya That's not gaslighting, that's him asking her to confirm her relationship with the guy was nothing serious anymore.

[@wolf2966]

damn this is hard to decipher do people make mistakes and things like this happen unfortunately yes i think it would've been more forgiving and self aware if he owned up to what led up to her getting hurt and that he leave for a few days to to cool off and think over what happened and then discussing with one another how to avoid situations like that happening again. he had said he lost his temper and in the moment i don't think he intentionally tried to hurt her but was definitely not thinking at least as far as i know i haven't watched the movie but acts like this are usually not intentionally trying to do harm but the guy could definitely do with some anger management and learning how to better handle conflict she should just respect the boundaries when he said stop and leave him alone

[@thickymcghee7681]

I dont know why the Director made Lily constantly lie during the whole movie. Her husband asked her not to speak to one person, her ex, a totally reasonable request, and then she continues to lie to him? And then he repeatedly tells her to stop and get away and she keeps on physically getting in the way and grabbing and tugging at him? And it's his fault she tripped while trying to cut him off on the stairs? No wonder this movie did horribly at the box office.

[@sarahfara1539]

@thickymcghee7681 She didn't "trip", he literally pushed her with both hands, as you can clearly see (in the other scene where she remembers it's even more visible). Her lying is neither here nor there. There's NEVER any justification for violence. If someone lies to you, you can get upset, you can break up with them but you can't lay hands on them.

[@thickymcghee7681]

@@sarahfara1539 Dude a person is walking, telling you repeatedly to get away form him, you jump in front of him while he is on the stairs, a stair step only has like 6-inches of foot-room, come on let's use some common sense.

[@sarahfara1539]

@@thickymcghee7681 I'm not saying she was acting wisely but I still doubt she would have fallen if he had not actively pushed her. And everyone should, even when upset, be able to still have some ingrained restriction to not push someone and to be careful yourself and others don't get hurt in a potentially dqngerous place like a staircase. The way you excuse him completely and are putting all the blame on her is alarming

[@thickymcghee7681]

@@sarahfara1539 Well I agree with you, if she had been acting wisely she wouldn't have fallen. Have to take accountability for our action. Also I find it kind of funny you completely excuse her with "...well she was acting unwisely." but not him. Why couldnt he have been acting unwisely also?

[@diamondflake5407]

0 chemistry

[@twodaysleftable]

What was that number though?

[@sandrakimball518]

I believe it was Atlas's number. He gave it to Lily so that she could call him if she ever needed him. 😭☎

[@chloexo3503]

I mean he doesn’t exactly push her down the stairs.

[@Roxyfoxy157]

You have to see the movie. You’ll be surprised

[@lauraalbert3607]

Read the book😢

[@haileyjuliasuarez6988]

He didn’t accidentally push her he meant it

[@rrr826]

Um why did she take the note from the guy? She’s a huge red flag. If she liked the other guy why didn’t she tell him the truth?

[@nieceyb2067]

It Ends with us Book by Colleen Hoover. It's a really good book. I hope everyone gets to read it. I'm told there's also a moving coming out or it's already out. However, the BOOK IS EXCELLENT!

[@melinabrown3185]

Yes I feel like so many little details weren't to mentioned in the movie. The book covers so much more that happened so much more that was said too.😢

[@gracerosegonzales2951]

He did not push her, she is a mess by herself

[@risjones]

'Accidentally' pushing someone down the stairs is an oxymoron

[@Lizwebb1287]

She did chase him and annoy the mess out of him lol. She was getting on my nerves at that point 🤪

[@bananamanchester4156]

Do you throw people down a flight of stairs when they get on your nerves? His actions are unjustifiable.

[@gracerosegonzales2951]

God that hair is a mop

[@iamreborn3463]

Terrible acting from her awful castinh

[@deerheart87]

She fell

[@saharrayes5364]

He loves her so much and he couldn’t except the first love of her to back again to her life as she promised him that will not meet him again .😢