Schizophrenic Wands | Noita

[@weakspirit_]

"here's a wand that summons the fucking sun" - only in noita

[@A_very_bad_youtuber]

"As a fun extra, i made other one that can launch the sun"-also only in noita

[@DJ_AwesomeSauce]

" I cast *_THE UNMATCHED POWER OF THE SUN._* "

[@nostalgicwarframeplayer1231]

One made out of *lasers*

[@KINGOFTHESPARKS755]

CRUEL SUN

[@rafaelkmmendes5544]

He said calmly.

[@HadesIsHere11]

ive been playing noita for a few months now, this community absolutely scares the shit outta me on a regular basis, but bravo this, this is terrifying

[@Kristopian]

I find it kinda funny that Noita is one of the (slightly) less deranged games to come out of Finland

[@keithklassen5320]

I've been playing for years, and this scares the shit out of me.

[@CursedSFMS]

@@Kristopian Cruelty Squad and ULTRAKILL come to mind

[@Kristopian]

@@CursedSFMS I was thinking of both when I commented this, I have a hard to explain to normal people amount of hours in Cruelty Squad

[@Kristopian]

@@CursedSFMS they also have Clash of Clans, and Angry Birds, although those are deranged in a completely different way

[@surr3ald3sign]

Bro became the wizard that got tired of ppls shit and started casting super enethical spells like "instant brain hemorhage" and "unending panic attack"

[@timelesspoultry8849]

Little trolling :)

[@chaitanya8126]

Enethical 😭😭

[@B_4035mn]

Ah at least he didn't use the famed "Testicular torsion" spell.

[@snarkycommenthere9027]

"alright man that's it that's the last fucking straw I summon ZEUS"

[@NuclearRaven13]

POWER WORD: SCRUNCH

[@tolafia6708]

optimizing wands that deal millions of damage to need only 30 max mana makes me so proud of the community. You are all more scary than any cryptid

[@surr3ald3sign]

Not only that but NO RECHARGE is insane, bro i struggle to get a functional spark wand build most of the time and my all time strongest wand only dealt around 100k damage per shot (it was a spark trigger to summon rocks that had 2 of the projectile auras on them iirc, it was fun until i touched a few pixels of poly and the rocks came right back at me)

[@michasokoowski6651]

​@@surr3ald3signOh, i know the method. Anyway, if you want a lot of damage from simple wands the easiest way is to combine accelerating shot with bounce projectiles. Their damage scale with their speed compared to how fast they were at the start

[@orange0666]

@@surr3ald3signpiercing short range homing area teleport spark bolt with trigger that fires off freeze-charged tentacles.

[@seankenny174]

Technically it also needs spell capacity but yes lol

[@mikelezhnin8601]

This is not just wand crafting, this is wand crafting turned into art. I'm so used to just going for simple and efficient wands that just kill things, seeing these wands felt like a breath of fresh air.

[@mapron1]

Someone will make baba is you engine in wand spells one day. And run Doom in baba in you because why not.

[@stevesabba2379]

8:58 "Once inside Minas Domain Expansion: Metempsychological Prestidigitation. The infinite souls of Minas past lives diffuse into the target causing their body to violently erupt with cursed energy, killing them instantly. It is feared among even the most powerful of Sorcerers as Minas cursed wands allow them to perfectly manipulate Cursed Energy to their will similarly to the Six Eyes of Gojo Satoru. The end result is a Technique that not even Limitless could defend against. It is a perfected Work."

[@stevesabba2379]

Me 3 minutes later, I did not expect the malevolent shrine after pocket dimension XD.

[@stymlice2332]

​@@stevesabba2379 i think "domain expansion" name suits pocket dimension one better

[@stymlice2332]

Before his inevitable death, The Master of Masters asked Minä: "Are you Noita because you are pursuing knowledge, or are you pursuing knowledge because you are Noita?" She replied: "When it comes to the pursuit of knowledge, there is no one except me. Because throughout Infinite Parallel Worlds I alone am The Creative One."

[@tehcodekid8421]

This goes hard af

[@БруноБуччелати-н6б]

I'm stealing this. Sorry, its too good.

[@grac7791]

The pocket dimension one feels like a final smash

[@SpringySpring04]

it literally is

[@atroposV]

same with the storm

[@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828]

It's literaly a goddamned Domain expansion like WTF-

[@richardfernandespereira1424]

"For his neutral special, he wields THE SUN"

[@Flesh_Wizard]

You ever just throw a G class star at your enemies? It's very therapeutic

[@Orvixran7692]

3:38 "No, the sun is a deadly lazer!"

[@Merlin3434]

Good reference, however. The sun is more of a deadly bomb in this case.

[@KJxthetap14]

"Not anymore. There's a blanket "

[@calamus8287]

What... The actual... I can barely assemble a flamethrower, and this guy made TWO SEPARATE WANDS affect each other! What the hell! That was just amazing.

[@morpheus_uat]

you get obliterated if you touch poly.- "whats that??? thats not my master!!!!" game over

[@OmnipotentNoodle]

This is some real wizard shit. Crafting masterwork artifacts that thoughtfully combine basic elements to bend the fucking fabric of reality and summon mind-boggling destructive forces. Idk if i can even pick a favourite. Malevolent Shrine is obviously sick as hell, and the SOUND of it is legendary too, but the "pocket dimension" combo feels so clever, and the artificial sun being able to do solar flares has me creaming my jeans!!!!

[@theroboticpotato]

ok but could you pair pocket dimention with some kind of stun to make infinite void

[@gorrilaviking3936]

Bro made a domain expansion wand 😂😂😂

[@MorningLightMtn]

This guy would be the type of wizard that would call "Testicular Torsion" a rookie spell, and then invent a whole new unethical spell in an afternoon drunken bender that somehow combines slowed time perception, hyper regeneration, constant ejaculation, and transmute-sperm-to-super-acid.

[@tx7300]

why are they all sex related

[@RhondoDio]

@@tx7300 To 1-up on testicular torsion, duh

[@DawnAfternoon]

These wands make testicular torsion look like a cheap spell

[@terrapin6]

bro... dont remind me. had that shit when i was younger. worst pain ever. had the operation so it could never happen again

[@epsi11i0n]

You didn’t show us wands, you showed us war crimes

[@peterhacke6317]

It's not a war crime the first time.

[@tardigrade1223]

That’s what Wands stands for in noita War crimes A N D Stuff

[@kylestanley7843]

Wand crimes

[@Pindeckoo1]

War crime sticks

[@LordTyph]

What's the difference in Noita? If your wand isn't a war crime in this game, you aren't good enough.

[@yeehawtaw2134]

The pocket dimension is crazy it's like you have a cutscene finishing move just on hand at any time

[@froschreiniger2639]

8:00 the judgement cut one and 4:30 the stand are so fucking awesome. Actually they are all awesome, especially the anime ones. Such fancy death.

[@BlackReaper0]

This is the kind of shit that traumatizes people in the wizard war.

[@aricohen5960]

This makes "The Ten Hells" look like "The Ten Soft Kitten Petting Rooms".

[@A_Person_OTI]

Been cooking this one up for like a month or so, some of the wands use slightly different spells from the ones I posted but their function remains the same. Note: Although none of the wands use any modded spells, some do use spells from the beta/experimental version of the game, I've marked such wands with the slow-but-steady icon, (I have also marked wands that require unlimited spells with its icon as well)

[@theroboticpotato]

could you make a list of the specific spells/order for each wand, im relatively new and it dosent say in the video

[@veaxvoid]

This dude just straight uploading forbidden magic on youtube.

[@kenesys8713]

I love the extra effort to make them as accurate as possible, like the judgement cut having a delay, or the malevolent shrine making cleave more powerful. Good video!

[@LuckOfTheRoll]

Noita was release as a social experiment by real wizards to see if humans could be trusted with magic. We have failed horribly and the wizards have left to their home dimension

[@fatrat92]

I've had my eye on Noita since it came out, waiting for 1.0, but man i didn't know you could get this insane with it's magic system.

[@Asdayasman]

"Waiting for 1.0" is crazy, what do you MEAN, it's been in it's final release for years.

[@fatrat92]

@@AsdayasmanYeah, well last time i looked at the game it was in early access.

[@Asdayasman]

@@fatrat92It was released in Oct 2020, and had its last intended update in Mar 2021. If this is you "having your eye" on something, you must be blind af.

[@AziSlays]

@@fatrat92 go get it chief. This is but a fraction of the absurdity you can achieve.

[@surr3ald3sign]

​@@fatrat92the early access tag you see on steam is from the "added by the community tags" Noita has been full release for several years but even in beta it was a better game than pretty much everything else on steam

[@TheLaXandro]

3:42 so the sun IS a deadly lazer.

[@deadlylaigrek]

🎵not anymore there's a blanket 🎶

[@legacytwilight]

When I saw pocket dimension I was like: "That looked like some sort of domain expansion huh", and then he pulls a real one. Holy shit man. I've still got so much to learn about this awesome game. It's like Magicka but 1000 times more combinations

[@sunofabeach9424]

me: oh hey a trigger spell with an explosion is a great combo the least deranged noita wand builders: RAINING ARROW THE SUN COKC AND BАLLS ANNIHILATION

[@FredDino]

People really be out here building The Throngler

[@spookyboye2160]

You had me goin for a second there with the Star Platinum: The World bit that you actually found out how to stop time😭😭😭

[@A_Person_OTI]

I mean, you could use circle of stillness then casting it at NaN-coordinates by giving it "infinite" speed using a ton of fly upwards. This will freeze every single enemy which is close enough lol.

[@GhostVolume]

@@A_Person_OTI Sounds more like Gojo's Limitless lol

[@xetoegaming]

Aint no way bro is casting epic magic. We unraveling the Weave with this one 🔥 💯‼️

[@joshuaraphaelhutahaean223]

FORGOTTEN REALMS MENTIONED 🔥🔥🔥

[@mythosinfinite6736]

I summon my Stand, Shadow Wizard Money Gang

[@nmzp111]

There is no better noita content than wand showcases

[@surr3ald3sign]

I politely disagree with the counter point that the puzzles make for very interesting videos (like the eye puzzle that we STILL cant solve)

[@nmzp111]

The puzzles are interesting for people in the know and definitely a staple of the community, but aren't most people interested in the solutions, not the process? Especially as convoluted as solving the eyes. If I wanted to get someone into noita, i'd show them reviews like albino's and wand builds like this one, since there aren't a lot of spoilers there, the wow factor is huge and they give a good impression of what the game is like. The eyes are simply too far down the iceberg for people that aren't active in the community. But once it will be solved, I can't wait for the 2 hour video essay from SummoningSalt about the solution.

[@gobs5061]

*casts pocket dimension* "it's so sad steve jobs died of ligma" "what?" "ligma balls"

[@wasntwas]

I love how this meme went from being an actual joke to the glorious shitpost that it is today.

[@lanfour4444]

0:16 The search for the brown note wand.

[@genericuser984]

Noita spells are why i fear being drafted into the Wizard Wars, my 'Power Word: Krill' just ain't gonna cut it against 'Spell of Sun Throwing'

[@Nesymafdet]

Or Sukuna’s domain expansion,

[@abraruralam3534]

Me: * makes my first sparkbolt machine-gun wand * "So...I must be really good." APOTI: "By the beard of Merlin, the fool doesn't even know of the pocket-dimensional meteor-shower megalodon-ultrakill spell! May their crystal ball forever scry buffering runes!"

[@donovanmoran7937]

As a Noita player I remember doing tinkering to non-descrip manners, trigger shotgun, divide by 10, gravity field, homing, the greek one that makes tho nest spell cast (no charges needed), rock... then I changed rock to thunder didn't worked as I planned and blew my self in super slow motion. how I love Noita, Noita is the friends (and warcrimes) made along the way

[@evaind]

Very cool demonstartoion. I got chills when saw the malevolent shrine.

[@gms02]

to make something cinematic is so hard to do in freeform games, ones without cutscenes and scripted events. You are glorious, and these are wayyyy too sick.

[@TheLifeFruit]

This is by far the most creative showcase I a have ever seen

[@Josh-bq6rm]

"The Gods question your sanaty at the sight of your creations."

[@FortunesFooll]

The poor frog staring into the sky as I cast thundering silence upon him

[@godslayer9000]

Please make another video explaining these wands, how every spell affects the final outcome. I want to make one or atleast get close to making one of these in an actual run. Especially the malevolent shrine, that one had my jaw on the floor holy shit, it could not have gotten any more accurate. I've long thought that world teleport wands were the peak of wandbuilding insanity but you've shattered my concepts of reality with these wands. Something like the explanation of the poly-safety egg wand will suffice, if only for the malevolent shrine wand, because the egg video looked like a lot of effort.

[@gyrro6377]

I've been playing this game since 2020 and I still don't understand how these radically complicated wand builds are both thought of and executed.

[@Luxof_]

I like how the domain expansion wand actually produces the same ringing sound that Sukuna's domain makes when being summoned, it's really cool.

[@SyphTheGoblin]

looove the sun wand with it's pretty swirls and the explosion one from the pocket dimension section, something beautiful about the orbs floating towards the targets before the explosion on that one. On a side-note: fucks me up that I legit made a "the sun is a deadly laser" reference just yesterday when talking to a friend and then today I see this video and it makes the same reference! Neat coincidence to me.

[@Shadramelk]

>something beautiful about the orbs floating towards the targets before the explosion on that one in essence, the FF Flare spell

[@BardyYasha]

What the actual fuck, this is really really impressive, I've never thought you could build some of these! Also great pacing on the video!

[@surr3ald3sign]

The sun wand is wild... the fact that you can even throw out solar flares is wild (surely that wasnt originally intended but is a cool coincidence lol)

[@joshuaramirez9088]

This makes me very happy. I want more. Cool wizard doing anime techniques is cool. Indeed.

[@Ballfondler794]

Lightning bro just throws a little spark at u, and u teleport him into a dimension of pure torment. Crying.

[@simplysmiley4670]

This community amazes me, intruiges me, and scares the hell out of me. Fantastic.

[@xanderschwartz9864]

This is the guy that sells the shovels. This is the guy that sells the pitchforks and torches. This is the guy that sees death ride in on a pale horse, and with no reaction says “you need a Shootin’ iron?”. This is the guy that will end the Wizard War. This is the guy that gets a cowboy hat tipped in his direction and hears the words “from one legend to another” but doesn’t check to see who spoke those words. Its Him. Himothy Main-Character Andy.

[@someoneontheyt]

As a dmc5 lover this was the POWER I needed, time to get MOTIVATED and hear those devils cry

[@squidgy2247]

Judgement cut was so cool and Malevolent Shrine was very creative 😂 My favorite was the pocket dimension though

[@sarge2115]

4:28 cant help but imagine Come A Little Bit Closer - Jay & The Americans as background

[@Snecktf2]

I havent finished the video yet, but i have to say, my jaw quite literally hit the floor when i saw that thunderstorm wand. I saw the title of the video chapter and thought "it would be so cool if it conjured a scaled up thunderstorm". Then i saw it procing on the enemy over and over and thought "oh ok thats kinda boring". Never mind i guess bro caught ragnaroth and forced it into a wand.

[@caraprism9074]

**Gets to wand 7: pocket dimension** “As someone who’s never watched JJK this is basically domain expansion in my mind.” **The very next wand comes up** “O-Oh…” (Seriously though these wands are actually so unbelievably cool)

[@deusexmemeshina1303]

2:03 Dude literally create Weather Control SW from Red Alert, daaamn.

[@frozenmana]

I wish i could make things like this, i really do. I can make things that do a lot of damage or teleport me really fast, but things like this are actual art and a true demonstration of what's possible in this game

[@Hlebuw3k]

All of these are actually so creative and incredible, I can't even chose a favorite!

[@zi4ina]

awesome! the possibilities of magic in this game are just incredible

[@matellie]

Really cool wands !

[@Erizo_]

I am in genuine aw at what the community of this game is capable of. This video just further convinced me that Noita is the greatest rougelike that I ever played and most likely also will ever play. I just wish that there will come a day where I get a god run where I'll be able to create a masterpiece wand like these

[@sipofsunkist9016]

10:55 this right here. Noita is the best mage game. you cant change my mind after this!

[@justin7509]

That pocket dimension wand is absolutely horrifying. Imagine you're just a regular Hiisi minding your own business shuffling slag out of the wand forge when you suddenly disappear into an endless void of blackness and then get your molecules ripped apart by the business end of the Death Star's primary weapon.

[@Geilolp.]

this guy is really out here making malevolent shrine in noita. i don't even know how he increased cleave's range like that its literally magic

[@cert650]

You have achieved mastery in crafting. Recreating super attacks from anime using wands is an art.

[@thepresetvenoms]

man thanks for this, now my bones wand folder is gonna shred my future runs in STYLE.

[@lukeyoungerhi]

you've earned more than my respect. there is no word to define how highly i hold u after watching this.

[@katastrophicats9590]

Behold, the power of the sun in the palm of my hand.

[@ИванМартемьянов-м7б]

Now this is what i call MOTIVATION!

[@GlorifiedGremlin]

I appreciate the reference to "THE SUN IS A DEADLY LASER"

[@carterbennett7528]

make a super mega long wand crafting guide, no one has ever done it, and you possess the editing skills to do it. the noita community needs it

[@starwall8755]

I want all of these wands in my Noita's bones folder

[@B1esky]

these are, without a doubt, the coolest wands i have ever seen i am so impressed. also the second wand was my favorite i didnt even know it was possible to make spells rain and i have over 500 hours in the game :p

[@AdorableHamster32]

This is *amazing*. You made all these feel amazing. Most people just build wands for efficency and yours are a true spectacle. Well done!

[@jackgordon4306]

i love this video. the references, the wands, this sorta thing is why i love videogames

[@Faero2566]

I cast *Domain Expansion*

[@ern1353]

3:14 “I cast fireball at 10th level”

[@arcane1012]

That second wand of the pocket dimension hella invokes Nox Obliterate vibes

[@iminpainhelp2979]

Hardcore noita players are genuine irl wizards.

[@GlozoBozo]

The wizard wars are about to get even scarier

[@JmonsterNEO]

Number 7 is essentially a Domain Expansion

[@ninjamantis8309]

simplest schizo wand, anything with trigger, any touch of spell had a non shuffle, SINGLE CAST regular ass wand cast a touch of spell ontop of me, died and reloaded my backup save from a while ago tried it again this time making 100% sure that the wand was what it said it was and BOOM saving grace saved me this time so i checked the wand to see what could have happened healed up and tried it again only to have saving grace set my hp to one a second time, convinced my game was just bugging out after my playthrough surpassed 20 hours on the same save, never touching touch of spells without saving grace and yes i know they can 1 shot bosses

[@AziSlays]

frost + tentacle instakills anything that can take melee damage

[@Mertly]

Definitely the stand one is the best

[@miss_bec]

Judgement Cut End and Domain Expansion absolutely sent me, these are absolutely fucking genius homie

[@IceAokiji303]

*music jingle* "The sun is a deadly lazer!" But this one's made of multiple, actually.

[@sTheecreep]

This is like a masterclass in what is possible

[@trippletrip9374]

The best types of wands are how far can I push this one spell and moments later you can’t understand your screen. My favorite thing to do in Noita is make what I call an aggressive rock. A rock with accelerative homing, teleport homing, damage area, and venomous curse. This thing will fly around caves and destroy anything that doesn’t destroy terrain. Add boomerang if you want it to be an annoying yet hostile companion.

[@TheInGeneralGamer]

9:04 After seeing this wand I immediately thought of the name "Boss Nova" for the explosion wand

[@venomous7321]

i don't even know how to begin to comprehend how some of these wands work

[@janus2638]

2:11 THIS MAN JUST USED DOMAIN EXPANSION ON THE POOR SLIMEBOY 😭 edit HE HAS ANOTHER DOMAIN EXPANSION these wands are sick

[@dorcusss3693]

I haven't even gotten Noita yet. I'm just waiting for a sale, because the game seemed pretty cool. I didn't think this was possible. Knowing you can do crazy stuff like this now makes me even more excited to play. I think Judgement Cut End and Domain Expansion looked the coolest

[@dsgda153]

Dude that's awesome! Vergil and Sukuna were especially cool. They're all actually cool!

[@ianchandler3282]

I have played noita a small amount, enough to get what I thought was a modest idea of the game... this video put the fear of god back inside me

[@Luxof_]

9:00 DOMAIN EXPANSION: INFINITE COMBUSTION also quite fitting that Gojo can use his domain 5 times in a day, and that 10 use limit on the wand makes it so you can only use it 5 times before you recharge it. Edit: Aaaand I realized that there's another part of the video specifically titled "Domain Expansion".

[@marijuano6956]

400 hours in this game and i still feel like a beginner, thats noita for you

[@morganbondlvl130]

Bro these are way too stylish, this is unreal how cool it is

[@whaleborne1308]

My brain is not big enough for this game honestly. It's just so much

[@powrof3]

Number seven really be "Domain Expansion: Get Blown The Fuck Up"

[@dvcken]

Now we need explanation video of how this wands are working, cuz it would be funny to cook some cursed wands

[@UniGya]

I was going to say the pocket dimension and explosion wands were just a domain expansion but then you somehow made Malevolent Shrine. Seriously I would love a detailed explanation of how these things work