Secrets# 583~ Rov Pom Koj Kuv Ceeb Tag~ 03/18/2024~

[@msmoua100]

Q2- I have to say….you should be blessed that your in-laws loves you. And it’s not your in-laws fault ! Your husband should say no if y’all have plans already. He needs to understand that and you need to inform him. Even if he said yes to them you don’t need to go. Tell him you already plans there’s always next time. they’re family they should understand and if he rather go to his family outings then let himmmm.

[@angelalee4598]

Koj tus txiv hais yog lawm ma raws li koj piav ces koj cov muam lawv yeej tsis tau ua tshaj los yog control koj lub neej os yog ib family siblings lawm ces yuav tsum sib hlub li no yog koj cov muam lawv ua ab tsi lawv tsis hais neb 2 niam txiv ces koj oh yuav tu siab thiab , qhov reasons ntshaw muaj siblings coob2 ces twb yog thaum ua ab tsi los sib yaum sib pab ua ab tsi los ua ua ke xwb 1. Koj tus attitude yog tus tsis nyiam social life nrog lwm tus 2. Tos koj tsis xav txais koj niam pog lawv nyiaj los vim koj tsis xav mloog thiab ua li lawv hais ces yog koj siv lawv nyiaj lawm no ces koj xav tias lawv yuav control tau koj ( raws li koj piav tsis yog control nawb nws yog ib txoj kev hlub normal los ntawm ib family xwb 3. Peb ua neeg nyob ces tib neeg yeej tsis sawm zoo peb pheej nriav thiab ntshaws yam peb tsis muaj tiam sis peb pheej drhuav thiab tsis nyiam yam peb tau. Koj tus txiv hais yog lawm os yog koj tsis to taub ces koj mus draw 2 daim pictures 1 . Daim muaj siblings coob2 ua ab tsi los ua ke cov muam ua ab tsi los nco ntsoov lawv tus brother thiab nyab 2. Daim muaj coob2 tiam sis lawv tsis care koj thiab koj tus txiv tos koj paub lawv ua tas lawm 3. No siblings muaj koj tus txiv neb 2 leeg xwb es neb ntshia luaj tej siblings sib hlub sib pab ua ab tsis los sib yaum do together Yog koj pom 3 daim pictures no tas es koj qhov answer tseem yog li qub xwb koj yeej tsis nyiam leej twg li. Yog li no ces kuv qhia koj tiaskoj yog ib tug neeg tsis sawm zoo xwb tsis tim lawv tiam sis tim koj lawm. lawv hlub koj los koj pom tias lawv bother koj tiam sis yog lawv tsis hlub koj ces koj yuav pom tias lawv siab phem lawm koj yog tus neeg uas lawv siv lo lus tias ua li cas los yeej zoo tsis txaus yus . Txob chim nawb nws yog my opinion xwb No wrong No right

[@kellyxiong298]

Yog lawm os, it doesn't hurt just to say sorry, if you know your wrong.

[@ljvue]

Poor boundaries everywhere. The imbalances are epic proportions. Some too rigid and some have no boundaries at all.

[@atthao5631]

Qws txob thiab tshuaj khib rov sib ntsib dua lawm. Tsis txhob lam cia tuav nawb.

[@cheexiong1634]

Well he definitely doesn’t know his priorities in your guys life and know his boundaries when to say no to his family also… this will be a lot of headache for you so sorry to hear… hopefully he can realize it sooner then later. There is a time for his family and time for yours too so nothing wrong with what you’re thinking also.

[@xayxiong1061]

It’s not the sister’s fault but your husband’s only. He doesn’t have boundaries to his families. It’s ok to just be honest and tell them he has plans and will do afterwards.

[@sunvaj6754]

Q#1. You need to have a friendly conversation with your mother in-law. And, that depends on what you say and how you say it with her. I believed she will change. Her relationship with you will improve. Communication is the only way to solve problem. 👍

[@l0ve_tr3e54]

Tsis sister es tau tus txiv spoiled, koj yeej xav yog lawm, koj tus txiv neb yeej lucky qhov neb muaj muam thiab niam pog, txiv yawg Hlub, koj tus txiv need to tau hais rau nws family to understand that neb need to be alone sometimes!

[@leechai11]

Q.2 yog li koj tus txiv hais lawm Los mas koj tseem siab loj tsis tau xwb you have to learn how to get alone with them don’t wait until you lose them

[@7stars2love]

Yes, koj xav yuam kev lawm os. Koj siab me zog lawm.

[@TouYang-kl3es]

Koj yuav tsum mus fim ntsej fim muag kiag thov txim ntawm koj tus nyab kiag mas nws thiaj yuav zoo siab hlo zam txim rau koj lihais.

[@chuevang6286]

Tys me vivncaus aw koj muaj muam thiab Niam pog nyiam koj tys txiv neb mas yog ib who zoo kawg li mog

[@TouYang-kl3es]

Yeej meem hlub koj tus niam pog kom ib hnub nws thuaj pom tias koj yog tus tibneeg zoo nawb.

[@lucyxiong6708]

To the last weight loss guy, your wife loves you and wants you to be healthy and live a long life with them. Sit down and have a talk with her about an easier diet or alternatives to losing weight and tell her the truth. Communication is key.

[@richvang532]

To the lady that yelled at your nyab, she loves you and will forgive you. Just go talk and apologize, I’m sure your nyab miss you too.

[@MissPeachie]

To the lady sending a message to her Nyab, just talk to her and clarify the misunderstandings. If she is a good person like you say, she will forgive you. What if she doesn’t listen to this? She would never know. It’s ok to let your guards down because she is family.

[@TheMongcha]

Q2. He needs to get his priorities straight. Your immediate family is first. Q1. Old people always talk behind their daughters in law back. So you just have to let your husband know what’s going on, so you both are on the same page. Just follow what your husband to see what is his plan.

[@leejmuam1]

Question #1. Be careful of people that always bad mouth others especially when they first met you and already bad mouth others. That kind of people just negative energy. Avoid.

[@symouacheupao6228]

❤#1 Kuv yog ib tug niam pog thiab Mas kuv txoj kev xav txog koj niam pog kuv xav tias nws yog ib tug niam pog tsi paub cais nws xav tias nws ua li ntawm kom.luag paub tias nej phem tab si nws tab tom nruav nws txoj kev kom luag txoj trust nws Koj yuav tsum hlub nws li koj yog nws tus nyab Tab si yog nws hais txog ib tug vivncaus twg rau koj koj yuav tau pab nws kom nws tseg nws tsi yog hais txog koj xwb nws hais txhua tus vim nws 1,nruam 2,mekas hais tias nws tsi muaj kev txaus siab rau nws lub neej Koj tes dej num yuav tau hlub nws ces koj yog nyab zoo nws yog poj hmoob nruav xwb

[@casesvang1262]

Some time , we need owners families

[@mhaiyaaj]

Ib tug neeg, yog nws ua txhaum lawm mas nws yeej tsi quaj lis. Koj tus tus Nyaj yog neeg zoo. Yu muaj peev Xwm cem luag yuav tsum muaj peev Xwm los thov txim vim Yu yog tus txaum.

[@SunnyVue-g5x]

Kuv xav koj yog ib tug neeg siab me koj ib leeg thiaj tsis haum lawv

[@maichang4382]

Q2 tus me niam tsev raws li kuv mloog mas koj yog ib tug niam tsev siab me heev koj tus txiv hais yog lawm koj mas twb yog ib tug muaj hmoo tshaj plaws li koj tej nkauj tej muam thiaj li hlub koj tus txiv neb os koj yog ib tug neeg tsis sawm zoo xwb os

[@bunnybunny1111]

The first question: Those kind of mother in laws will never change. Trust me, my mother in law is the same. Ignore her, and I always tell myself and everyone. DO NOT make other people's feelings and words your problem. That's her issue and problem not yours. She don't pay your bills. Why you care what she say???

[@maylovang1880]

Zaj dab neeg nawb, me ntxhais aw txaj muag dab tsi na, yus haj tsi ua tib tug muaj plhus ntxiag thiab las as leej twg nim yuav paub hais tias neb yog hluas nkauj hluas nraug no na,

[@hlubyang4072]

Q#2....yog dhuav cov muam taw kev rau koj lub neej ces nrauj kiag koj niag txiv xwb tiag....kuv ces nrauj ntxov lawv....koj xwb thiaj li nyob.....vim kuv yog hom nyab siab me ne kawg nrauj xwb....

[@Llis3322]

Q2: I know some people like you and your husband. They don't complain about getting spoiled by relatives, yet they hate how the relatives "drives/control" their relationship. the answer is simple. STOP TAKING from them!! if you let then spoil and give you too much then they feel like they "own" you and you must March to their beat. stop taking, stop bathing in their gifts and luxury and learn how to control your own life. I know someone who loves sharing their life decisions with their parents... yet they get mad when the parents disagree or "forces" them to change their mind. Well, then, STOP SHARING YOUR PLANS with people then! so your situation is similar to that...

[@hlubyang4072]

Tu muam es xav xov rau tu nyab na....yog koj twb pom koj kev txhaum lawm ces qhov zoo txhob txaj muag kav tsij mus kiag tim koj tu nyab lub tsev...mus hais thov txim kiag rau koj tu nyab nws yeej zam txim rau koj kawg yog koj tseem muaj lub siab hlub koj tu nyab...

[@adoralor7728]

Well, 1st of all when someone given you too much attend too much of everything than of course you are obligated to compliance, that’s why is better not to owed anyone anything. If you feel strongly that you and your husband are being manipulated by receiving handout, than please stopped accepting them I don’t care what it is, monetary gained, free trips, large amount of foods and etc, and tell your husband’s siblings exactly how you feels. Than again if you that type of a person who takes advantage of handout, but hates to returned the favors than you are just being petty. Make your choice and stopped being petty person.

[@juliaher841]

Sister , koj yuav hmoob ces yeej tsis muaj privacy li os. It’s always something going on in every Hmong family.

[@krissiekhang0218]

Haha 😂

[@atlasanyaandamazingplaces8597]

Peb yuav tsum hlub peb tus kheej thiab yuav tau txiav txim ntawm yus tus kheej 😢buffet my kids hardly looked at it it's a food that is not healthy but make you fatter 😢

[@tongsxiong6138]

Kuv xav tias tej zaum koj siab me thiab siab nqaim zog lawm pob.

[@sandyvangyang110]

Q1: Sounds like your husband lacks boundaries. A marriage is btw 2 people, not meaning you don't love your outside kin but simply making time for yours is number 1 rule. We can't always say YES, because we can't please everyone so we must learn to work around it. Last question: Hey brother, weight loss is something we don't talk about much and how hard it can be. If this tips helps you, take it with a grain of salt. "Consistency plays a vital role in avoiding extreme measures that often yield short-term results but are unsustainable in the long run. By consistently following a balanced fitness routine and nutritious diet, you create a sustainable lifestyle that promotes overall health and well-being".

[@kuvxwb1591]

If you mean what you say, call your Nyab straight up and apologize to her. Be honest!

[@maylovang1880]

Tus niam tsev #2 hais rau koj hais tias kuv tus txiv muaj 3 kwv tij xwb peb sib sib hlub kawg. Tab sis tsis hais kuv tus txiv wb l9s yog wb ob tug kwv txawm peb twb plan tau yuav mus dab tsi lawm los yog yuav ua ib yam dab tsi hauv peb family lawm los muaj ib tug hu tuaj piv xam li lawv yuav ua noj rau hnub ntawd los yog yuav ua ib yam dab tsi rau hnub ntawd ces peb yeej canceled peb qhov mus koom tag tso pem mam mus ua peb qhov xwb yeej twb tsis muaj meem li as. Yog coj li koj hais no mas koj ua diab nqaij dhau lawm os me ntxhais yus tej kwv tij nkauj muam txoj kev hlub tseem ceeb tshaj li nawb

[@maitvang1]

U could keep eating buffet but u have to put yourself on keto mode. Which meant only eat meat and vegetables and seafood. Don't eat noodle and rice or sweet things. So no carbs no sugar u will lose alot of weight. That's one thing about us hmong we love jasmine rice that y we are so fat. If u go on keto mode u will lose alot of weight even eating buffet.

[@maitvang1]

If u drink coffee dont put sugar in only cream that have flavors but not a big amount. If u want soda drink diet soda.

[@lubsiabzooyang2806]

Kuv teb tus niam tsev qhov lus nug #2 tias ; Nws yuav tau hais rau nws tus txiv kom hais rau lawv tsev neeg tias " ua dab tsi yuav tau npaj los yog teem lub sij hawm ua ntej " ( plan ahead ) thiab ua raws li qhov scheduled xwb. Unless tias Emergency.

[@chiataydi]

Q#1 Tus me sister aw koj tus niam pog monther in-law ces coj kiag li kuv tus mother in-law ntag os nrog yus ces muab lwm tus cem rau yus nrog lwm tus ces muab yus cem rau lawv but you don't need to care about her wait until she point her fingers to your face then you'll deal with her yog nws cem tom yus pob tw xwb ces tsis khes txog li os cov neeg phem li ntawv yog nws rov txiav nws kev hlub xwb na yus hlub2 nws ces nws tau zoo noj tau zoo nyob free nws ua kom yus txhob khes nws lawm es yus txawj hlub yus tus kheej tshaj qub xwb os.

[@SunnyVue-g5x]

Nws muab koj tsoob txhij txhuas tim thaib lawm ea koj yeej tseem nco nws heev koj thiaj ua txoj txaj muag xwb

[@TouYang-kl3es]

Koj tus txiv ua tsis txiv xwb os. Nws yuav tsum muaj koj ua tus priority ua ntej mas thiaj yog.

[@Justin-q4w6d]

Omg dude you are always the first in line at the buffet line omg she should’ve bought 1 million and keep asking you to eat more 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@charlielor9877]

Koj tus txiv ko nrog muam pw ntau tshaj nrog koj pw, nws thiaj mloog lawv hais xwb.

[@marylee5608]

Rau tus vivncaus uas ntxub koj tus nyab neeg zoo. All you need to do is say you're sorru from deeply in your heart ❤. You should not have a problem apologizing as soon as you know you're wrong. Kablia hais kiag cov lus peb yuav hais rau koj. Kuv ntshaw ibtug nyab li koj. Peb tus mas yus yeem zoo nws yeem tsuj yus ua phem rau yus tsev neeh. Nws yog ibtug tubsab hauv yus tsevneeg los yus hais tsis tau vim yus hlub yus tus nus, yus hlub2 nws yog hais ces nkawv yuav sib cav sib ceg thaum no yus tus nus yuav tau los xaiv nws ces yuav yog 1 qho tsis zoo. Rau sawvdaws. Txawm xaiv yus tsev neeg los yuav tsis zoo thiab

[@TouYang-kl3es]

Koj yuav tsun rau txim rau koj tus kheej xwb mas koj thiaj yuav poob pound nawb. Noj kom tsau xwb, txhob noj kom zoo siab. Tsis tas li ntawd koj yuav tsum ua exercise xws li khiav treadmill ib hnub li 1 txoov teev lihais mas 3 hlis tom ntej no koj yuav poob pound lihais.

[@END0RA]

Q1: there are just some mil out there that love drama and gossip, not saying that it’s a free pass for her to gossip about you, but I suggest you have a friendly talk to her about a few things you’ve been hearing and just want to clarify if there’s something you’re doing to offend her etc. OR if you’re for sure it’s her gossiping about you then I suggest keep your distance and stop talking or hanging around her. Q2: it is true what your husband says about how you’re loved. You should feel blessed to be loved by his entire family, because many nyabs don’t get that same treatment. The problem is not your in-laws, it’s your husband. He’s the one who keeps dropping everything for them without realizing alone family time is important too. His siblings keep inviting him out, because they don’t want him to feel excluded for missing out a gathering they’re doing. Perhaps talk to your husband how your alone family time is important, also keep in mind to assure him that you know how much his family means to him and you’re thankful they love and care for you and your children too but I’m sure they’re understanding if he doesn’t make it to a couple of gatherings. Also, highly suggest you reach out to his siblings at times and let them know your plans for the upcoming weekend etc and that you guys will be busy just incase they plan on inviting you and your husband. Hopefully it works out for you!

[@diavang3633]

Koj siab me thiab hais mexwb paub ntau tias koj tsis nyiam koj tus txiv tsev neeg pes tsawg xwb hos. Lawv yeej tsis taw koj kev thiab tsis muaj tiag li koj xav hos sister

[@pangxiong2273]

Q1. Koj yuav tau stop cov tibneeg uas tuaj taug xaiv rau koj. Lawv tuaj hais tag rau koj ces lawv rov mus hais ib zag rau koj nismpog. Lawv yog messengers na. Q2. Cov nyab uas tau niampog, txiv yawg thiab nkauj muam hlub thiab saib taus ces yeej coj li koj. Muaj ib hnub lawv tu siab rau koj ces lawv tsi thab koj lawm mas. Yog xav ua ces ua es lawv thiaj pom koj meej es lawv thiaj tsis nkim nyiaj rau neb lawm.

[@vubbieful]

To Q1: I cannot tell you what to do. I am in the same situation. I am lucky my husband knows how she is and all the relatives. However I told my husband I will not deal with her toxic behavior. I do not love her, I do not have her but out of respect for my husband I stay an arms length away and never stop him if he chooses to help her. Likewise if he chooses not to help her I do not say anything either. I do not visit her, if he goes I will go 2 out of 10 times but mostly if it is during a family holiday. Still she finds ways to say mean things to me in front of everyone. I buy her, her elder outfits to fulfill my nyab duties. I will do what is expected of me when she dies. I will not go above and beyond for her. She will never love me. I chose to love myself and not put myself in a position to be her target.

[@Huabtaisdav1972]

Niam yog niam, zoo tam lub ntuj, yog koj niam pog phem npaum koj uas cas hos tsis khiav tawm 30 xyoos nram ntej ub naws. Kuv xav mas koj yog tus phem.

[@Lovecookies01]

First quesdion: omg I can relate 100%!! We are the youngest of my inlaws. My husband uses to be just like yours. But when my FIL passed they treated us so disrespectful and my husband saw their true colors. They called my husband stupid but they use him when they want. Because of this we've built healthy boundaries. Dond get into ouraeriahw business where you have no business. You will just have to step up ans let your SIL know. Mind their own business and have healthy boundaries.

[@TouYang-kl3es]

Txhob quav ntsej txog tej qub kiav roj li lawm os. Vim twb los sib txheeb sib ze lawm. Seb koj puas tau swb cev rau koj tus qub kiav roj xwb los mas?

[@meggiev2001]

To the lady that tripping about her sil and mil, lady of they weren’t nice to you, you be talking mad shit about them. Be thankful you got good in-laws. You’re just hating regardless!!!

[@sunnygirl973]

Zaj 1 koj twb hais ib zaug lawm los sav.

[@richvang532]

Wow, how do you have the guts to put your story on here, koj siab me heev li os. We wish so much to have that relationship with our in laws. Shame on you.

[@menavue9633]

1st story. I believe u are too negative. Im sure they dont call u every weekend to change ur plans between u and ur husband. If its very important to go shopping 🛍️ with ur husband to get it, u both can compromise…by accomplishing what u need and then make time for the immediate families since they have events. Its okay to be late at a event and its okay to say ‘no’ sometimes. As long ur priorities are being met, u both should be fine. U do need to adjust the way u think. He is only making time for his siblings because he may feel the event is more important then just shopping. But u should talk to him and let him know u can compromise by doing half day of what u want and do half day for what he wants. If shopping is very important for u that u cant extend another day or time to get it, then learn to be independent and have him attend those events with ur kids and you will show up later when u are done. Be more open mind. Dont make this a big deal in ur marriage life. 😊

[@chaiyaj6148]

You should tell them to make appointment for 1 or 2 week before the event before happening.