Secrets pt. 2 || Father Knows Something Podcast

[@taeminislove]

The thing I'm noticing is that Jerry somewhat lacks empathy when it comes to dating. Maybe that's bc he's had multiple partners and has experienced heartbreak and different scenarios more times than say, a teen. But for story 2, I rly do believe that the brother was in the wrong for it. The guy set his boundaries and no one respected that. Yes, he doesn't own the girl but no one should be forced to move on and be belittled for "being immature" about it. Cause the same thing can be argued about the brother. It takes maturity to have a serious conversation w the person you're stepping on if you feel like you're truly developing feelings for the person they asked you to keep your distance from. What I don't understand from Jerry's take is how he said "If that's your person, then go". Cause iirc, he also holds the mindset that a lot of ppl can be compatible. You can find your person in many different ppl, it doesn't have to be just this one specific person.

[@MrsBoogie002]

Honestly, to be fair, I don't think it's a lack of empathy (although it could for sure come off that way!) but moreso, it's a maturity in relationships. I think his point is always that everyone who is dating seriously is doing it for the reason of finding their other half, their soulmate, their one and only person, etc. If it doesn't work out, then that's clearly not that person for you. So this guy in the story went ahead and moved on, found another girlfriend who he presumably says he loves, but yet his ex is not allowed to pursue love??? 🤔 Especially when you're young and dating, it may feel super serious and then when you find that person for your and you do life together you realize it wasn't as serious as it felt at the time. So why limit others in finding that person for themselves? Is awkward for a bit? Sure!!! But if his brother and his ex are meant to be together, then he's kind of an ass hole for standing in the way. ESPECIALLY since he supposedly has moved on himself! I think timing is a key factor here. How long did they date? How long has it been since they dated? Also, did he introduce her to the family or not? If she is going to family events with one guy one year, and then they break up and a month later she's at the same family events with his brother, ya, I get that's pretty awkward and weird. But I also think it's pretty weird that this guy is so concerned, yet his girlfriend seems completely understanding and supportive. Honestly, if I were her I'd maybe be a little suspicious of how much he cares about this. Like.... We're together now, why does it matter so much??? I always saw that bro code thing as being more for when you're still hung up on a person you were with but aren't anymore and then it's seen as rude for a friend or family member to engage with them. Basically to spare your feelings. So if he's moved on, why is it such a big deal??? 🤔🤔

[@lornaa6295]

​@@MrsBoogie002I don't think the bf actually cares about the ex moving on, he just doesn't want her in his life which I'm confused why ppl think is weird??? I've had ppl who I've cared for and loved (not exes) that I no longer want to associate with for various reasons. If they turned up at my family table it would 100% make me uncomfortable. I don't have the right to dictate other people's lives, but I can also choose to separate myself from a situation that causes discomfort and would hope to have empathy and understanding for the decision. I do get where Jerry was coming from but the brother is an absolute arse. OP's bf did the mature thing and discussed the issue and his boundaries with the brother. The brother AGREED to those boundaries. And not only did OPs bf get lied to, he was also dismissed by their mother. Regardless of whatever happened in that relationship, OPs boyfriend is allowed to have negative feelings about this entire 💩show

[@MrsBoogie002]

@@lornaa6295 I agree for sure! My comment got to long, but I did want to add that I totally understand why someone would simply not want to have to be around their ex constantly at family functions. With that said, I guess I still don't think it's worth cutting your whole family off just because your brother has been dating your ex for a couple months and your parents are treating it casually. I feel like I'm that situation, I'd wait until it was clear that they were actually serious and she'd be at any and all family events before fully writing everyone off. Maybe I missed that part of the story, but it just seems really early on to be making such extreme calls. And it also just rubs me wrong the way he expects his current girlfriend to be so open and understanding and supportive of all of this. Like she's not allowed her own feelings in this drama filled love triangle shit. 🤷 If I were her, I would definitely be questioning why he was so emotionally invested in his ex and seemed so oblivious to his current girlfriends feelings or potential impression about the whole thing. I think OP was extremely supportive and patient. I really hope for her sake that her boyfriend sees that and realizes how this all COULD have come across and that he needs to be a bit more aware of his actions and sensitive to how he's coming off. Maybe their relationship is just super solid, and OP has no reason to worry. But none of that was specified, so it just gave me some weird vibes is all and I hope she's not bending over to please this guy when he's hung up on his ex. The fact she didn't even mention that this was NOT about his feelings, etc not only about the fact that he doesn't want his ex at freaking Christmas every year, is the red flag for me. I think we can all assume that's what OP meant, but I'm just putting an alternative out there because if it's not spelled out I think it's worth asking/wondering about.

[@jn9424]

It’s simple, I wouldn’t want to be having a family dinner with my ex. The story doesn’t sound like he is trying to assert ownership over his ex. He is drawing the line in terms of how far she comes into his life.

[@taeminislove]

​​@@MrsBoogie002I think that's highly debatable. Jerry has had immature takes in the past. That's why they keep emphasizing that father knows "SOMETHING" instead of father knows best. Empathy requires you to understand why a person's probably feeling a certain way about a given situation. Jerry stated in the story that he's dealt w the same situation, didn't mind it, and proceeded to say that he doesn't understand bro code cause "when you're done, you're done"-- that's a lack of empathy. I don't think it's mature to look at the bigger picture and conclude that the guy is "limiting" the girl from finding her person when he simply stated his boundaries and has been clear about them from the start. I think it also takes maturity to look at the situation and realize that there are other ppl out there that can be for you-- not just your brother's ex. And if it rly IS your brother's ex, there are ways to go about it without invalidating your brother's feelings. It's also stated in the post that the brother lied and is babied by the family but apparently the bf is the only one who needs counseling? Not the entire family? You CAN be moved on and still not want to associate with an ex who's hurt you/shown you disrespect. It's not a black and white "suspicious" sign. At the end of the day, both brothers have their own shortcomings in the situation. OP has nothing she can do about the situation besides telling her bf abt her worries, giving him the validation he needed from his family, asking him questions to see where he's coming from, and eventually helping him find ways to deal w the situation.

[@spaceinveda7408]

As a Justonian Institute alumn I approve Jerry's rebrand 😂❤

[@angiepangie1119]

I remember when I first discovered THT (before FKS was a thing yet) I was annoyed with Justin because of how much of a devils advocate he is sometimes 😂 but the more I binge watched these videos the more I started to love all of you guys! Jerry is right, Justin is the most level headed of them all, I now understand why he likes to approach all perspectives and try to understand them all before his final verdict :)

[@kittenqueendeborah3281]

3:05 Morgan's laugh in the background 😂😂😂❤

[@sarahwbs]

Story #4: I can't help but think that OP's husband totally manipulated her into suggesting they get married, and let her think it was her idea. Even she describes the relationship as "literally too good to be true" 🤔

[@arieslexicon7988]

Story 5: Jerry is so right. If you lie about your age, lie by ommission, lie about little things like that, you're saying that the other person can't or won't accept the truth, and that's not fair. Especially when you're trying to get to know one another, maybe on a romantic level.

[@findpeaceinsolitude]

Story 3 - As someone who also struggled with their sexual identity for many years, I can completely understand the weight of the situation. For me personally, it's not so much about feeling the need to "come out" to people, but more about a fear of backlash if people in your community "find out." In some circumstances, coming out gave me a sense of control over the situation. As an educator, there were many schools where I taught that made me concerned about the ramifications if a student or parent discovered my sexual orientation. That said, I came across a quote from Janet Mock that has shaped a large part of how I view myself in these situations. She describes it not as "coming out," but as "letting in." To OP, I would encourage you to let this be the driving force for you. You'll get to a place with your teammates, maybe some or maybe all, where you'll feel ready to "let them in" to that part of your life. The more you grow into your identity, the more confident you'll become in these situations. Keep being yourself, and your community will naturally grow.

[@Edsheeranluvr58]

The Justonian institute is very silly thank you for being so funny Jerry!😹

[@lilianapatriciavillarroels3249]

In story number 2, I don't know if it's a cultural thing or something from the 70s to see it as normal that an ex is now your brother's girlfriend and having to share family dinner. It looks like a comedy TV show , I don't think it's immaturity or maybe it is, I am immature, I just think about how uncomfortable it must be to see your brother being intimate with someone you once were. If is your ex you want out of your life, not at family dinners and everyone telling him to "get over it" 😐😔

[@KatieKaaBOOM]

As someone whose sister just recently married my ex after dating him a year, I can say it is extremely awkward sometimes lol. But I don’t think it’s a reason to excommunicate my sister for. They obviously want to be together and I can’t stop that. I also have a long term partner myself so I’m not really too worried about my exes. They’re just people too trying to figure shit out too. I will say it would be different if it was like my first love, or a partner who was abusive to me in the past or something. I think specific exes would hurt more than others. Or I’d be concerned for my sister’s safety with some. I do think the brother is still a dick for not at least telling him that he was going to pursue the relationship with his ex. But I don’t think boundaries are meant to be set on anything other than yourself and your personal belongings. Otherwise it’s just possessive and controlling.

[@lilianapatriciavillarroels3249]

@@KatieKaaBOOM I think that each case is different, just as you don't care, he does and he made that clear from the first moment, so it's not fair to tell him that he has to get over it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@rosecodanti2668]

I just wanted to say that I’ve listened to two hot takes and father knows something for probably about a year and a half…. Or just over that now 😅 your videos and conversations have really meant a lot to me, have helped me grow so much as a person that not only grew as a person but also perhaps now found that person that I can be authentically myself, safe and warm with all at once…. you all helped with that, thank you.

[@paigesavell797]

Yayy getting ready for school and get to listen to my fav peeps

[@MasterChiefess117]

Listening while I make a midnight snack. I'm so early! 😁

[@toiubystarlight]

20 minutes ago! I’ve never been so early! So excited to hear what’s gonna happen today, and great cleaning motivation 🥳

[@NorahWinter-mz7gl]

Just Morgan’s giggles in the background tho 😂

[@stephjovi]

Story 1 that seems to be the perfect answer. Ask the cousin why doesn't he care about me but he keeps seeing you? And other than that, just tell him if you happen to run into him. If it's super obvious or you're already at the cousins house with the baby and he's like Why didn't you tell me? You say :you never asked. It's been obvious for many months you didn't see me. Why would I contact you if you're not a father to me why would you deserve to know about your grand child?

[@annakursi7069]

Yes, or why would you behave differently with your grandchild?

[@evaandersen7595]

Story 3 - I'm a cis het danish woman with a gay best friend. When she came out to our friends, there were questions of curiosity, and I think that is what you can expect. If they ask you if you have fancied anyone at the team, just answer no, and that would be weird because you are so good friends/like sisters/whatever/no reason. Be expected to be flooded with questions or nothing at all. Some are just "I expected that" and that is it. Don't fear it. And in the conversation you can say you worry about the coach finding out, and if it can please be kept between you. I'm sure they will respect that. I think it is natural to worry but I'm sure you will be happily surprised.

[@spicysapien]

story 2: ‘you don’t own her’ you’re so right, dad, i’ve always get funny looks about my opinion on this but i agree with you !!

[@karinakissell9565]

I don't think exes are/should be automatically excluded from family/friends dating them. It really depends on the specific situation. Examples: if they dated for a few months in high school, totally fine....if they used to be married with kids and had a volatile divorce, probably bad idea.

[@sammy1396]

Great episode!

[@katherinecorrea3396]

Not gonna lie I wouldn't even say it directly just give the invite for a 5th anniversary and be done withit

[@xariag1588]

For story #3 as someone who has had female teammates who are lesbian, bisexual, straight, nonbinary, etc. TBH I really don’t care about someone sexually because it’s none of my business. I think her teammates would appreciate her coming out and feel very honored for her to feel so comfortable and confident to tell them that information but I don’t think they would change their opinion on her like that because they probably see her as family by the way she talks about them and explains how devastated she would be if they weren’t supportive of her!

[@molliemoghadasnia5357]

Merch idea: "Justonian Institute-Communications Major" but make it look like university merch

[@priscilladubon2898]

This is a good one 😊😊😊

[@ashleyadkins5190]

Hoping this episode can give me any sort of distraction right now because I'm not okay at all. Today is the anniversary of my dad's death and it hit me hard this year. 😞

[@Poolpuppies3]

I hope your situation get resolved

[@ashleyadkins5190]

@Poolpuppies3 thank you ❤️

[@ChronicallyMichelle1995]

Story 1: u wouldn’t tell him and this is from personal experience. First off we never cared we didn’t have a dad. I’m a twin our father was never involved but was a BFF to our uncle so around he never cared to see us or be around us when my sister had her daughter my mom told him and he didn’t want anything to do with us, we didn’t care, she’s 8yo and she just knows no grandpa last name and she doesn’t ask questions that’s just how it is. I think it was mentioned once and my sister told her he just isn’t around and she was fine with that answer. Our grandma was our second parent she helped raise us as I was chronically ill (still am at 29) and my mom needed help. One thing he did that myself, sister, BIL, mom, 2 cousins and great aunt won’t forgive is the day after my grandma died we all got together at my place (mom and grandmas) he came in and didn’t say one word to us wouldn’t even look us in the eye but talked to our cousin he was in our childhood home I still lived there my niece was 6months old.

[@nicolesifuentes4256]

Story 1 I was in a similar situation recently I had my baby for what is soon to be 2 months I'm 20 years old so I knew my dad would be upset about me being pregnant at 19 and since I didn't want to be the one to tell him and deal with his anger as I also barely have a relationship with him due to his inconsistency and his overall way of being and never making much of an effort to be there for my siblings and I, my brother who is the only one who still has a relationship with him was the one to tell him as expected he got mad and we thought he would probably at least want to see my baby but to this day he's not even even asked about her and stopped asking my brother about me even which he used to do every day so honestly you never really know how your dad my react he could just also not try for a relationship with your child

[@jude1346]

Yay new episode while I’m at work thank you

[@paulamontoya4942]

Papa Jerry! Thank you for always providing those of us without fathers, the fatherly advice we need❤️

[@sophia18883]

Loved the take on story 1 but I do not agree with story 2, I don’t agree you should throw away all your other relationships in pursuit of your person… that’s just crazy

[@992dancer]

Exactly!! I was like 😱 when he said he would throw away any relationship in his life if he thought it meant he could be with his “person”…that’s kind of scary 🥺

[@sophia18883]

@@992dancerI personally really value my friendships and my family way more than any new person I’m dating coming into my life. Ive made the mistake of choosing a partner over a life long friend before and it’s been one of the biggest regrets I’ve ever had. I personally think our friends and family (our community) is incredibly important and should go with the person we date/they should coexist and if they don’t something is wrong

[@bomanhome7502]

Don’t agree it’s very controlling to say who other people are allowed to love.

[@munchie420monster]

Jerry Morgan Justin!! 🎉❤

[@anaarias1993]

First story. She needs to get some help like therapy would do OP good. The mentality of feeling some type away that their kid will have a relationship with bio dad when bio dad didn’t have a relationship with OP is not ok. As parents the more people that love and protect our children the better. I was in OP shoes my son loves my dad. Being a dad to being a grandpa is different. Even if he isn’t that around a grandpa not present isn’t much of a big deal as it was for OP.

[@bomanhome7502]

Definitely Agree with Jerry. You don’t own another person. However it’s a lot of fish in the sea so to go out of ur way to date a family member or close friends ex…. You must really be into them. But if that’s the case, sure.

[@anantea]

Last story - I would tell her that I don't want to use those pictures, because they look like a totally different person. She doesn't look bad, so there is no reason to make her look like someone else, it will be confusing for guys and they will feel catfished. I would propose her that we can go together to make a photo shoot session and try to make a good, but realistic pictures she could then use. I would try to convince her to at least try it with those new pictures without altering them.

[@ChronicallyMichelle1995]

Story 4: my sister met and married her husband in 6-months it’s been 10yrs in Oct 8yo daughter she was 19 he was 24, no we don’t have a problem with the age gap they were both adults, but they said when you know you know

[@992dancer]

19:27 I completely disagree with Jerry here, instead of the right way being the brother telling him that he just doesn’t care and he’s going to be with her if he wants to is not the right way to handle it when your sibling tells you that your close relationship will forever be changed if they continue to see someone that they are seeing very casually and don’t care about yet. the correct move would have been to end things with the girl when he didn’t care and his brother clearly did care.

[@992dancer]

And the fact that everyone in his life and even jerry see it as somehow this guys problem and not the brother who lied and then got his mommy to guilt him into coming home

[@cassidybrewer]

Uploaded 5 min ago? Don’t mind if I do 😂

[@choleymoley]

28 minutes ago?!

[@CanteraGentry-w5g]

That's betrayal and don't date your blood brothe wife and family

[@anantea]

Why do people have the need to tell others what they are sexually attracted to? Why would you tell this to someone you are playing sport with what do you want to do in bed and with whom? It is so bizarre. People lost ability to tell what is private.

[@sarahwbs]

It's not just about who they want to have sex with. It's about who they are looking to be in a relationship with, and possibly spend the rest of their life with. They should not feel ashamed to talk about this with their friends.

[@992dancer]

Story 5 sounds like this girl is suffering from body dysmorphia, and this should be handled carefully in order to not set her back further. Personally, i would suggest consulting a therapist. It may seem like she is just trying to be a catfish but it sounds like there are more serious and deeply rooted insecurities and mental health concerns. OP is right that things have to change, because the way things are now with all of the rejections is just going to keep reinforcing the internal self worth issues, I really think consulting a therapist is the best move here 🫶🏻

[@michelle-3798]

Listening while working makes the day a whole lot better!🫶🏻 thankyou