Selective Mutism (The Verbal Spectrum Part 2)... Autism Life

[@Autistamatic]

Following a comment from a viewer requesting clarification, the ongoing, inescapable trauma/stress described in the latter part of the video is a form of anxiety. Selective mutism in this context can be described as an anxiety disorder.

[@robertjohnburton9775]

I have listened a couple of times now because something resonated. I have been gaslighted by those who would blame me for their own terrible behaviour. My responses to difficult situations are haunted by abuse from my past, I shut down & then they say, 'Look he is guilty, he has nothing to say!'

[@Lion-rf8xi]

Omg as a late diagnosis 36 I'm 40 I keep finding more and more people saying EXACTLY what I've been through, very painfull.

[@robertjohnburton9775]

I was non-verbal as a child, then I talked gibberish. However, eventually I grew into talking through reading. Now, after a life of PTSD I talk only when talked to & then often only abruptly. I say more online than I do face to face with anyone. Good video, I live alone & prefer it that way.

[@robertjohnburton9775]

@AM-uh7mv Excellent, your extrasensory perceptions are working well, nothing weird here.

[@babsstrijkert5365]

Its almost like being lost in a country where you can understand the language but not speak it yourself.

[@essencewithin5978]

Thank you for addressing the fact that we don’t give others the „silent treatment“. I was accused of doing that so often and I tried to make people understand afterwards that I wasn’t doing that, but that I genuinely couldn’t find my words in that moment. It also doesn’t help when people, during a shutdown, keep yelling it me, “If you don’t say what you need, how can I help you!! I feel so helpless!!!” If I could say anything, I would. I really would. And it doesn’t help me to be told that it is my responsibility to make them not feel helpless, and making me feel guilty because I can’t. What helps me, is when a person I trust, sits quietly beside me (or even just in my vicinity where I can still see them and know that they are there and care) without touching me or looking at me until I come out of my shutdown.

[@WastingtimeInc]

I (27F) went selectively mute just the other day at the tire store because they gave me a third free tire without me knowing or giving permission. It was loud in there and it threw off the symmetry of the brand of tires on axle sets and they were pressuring me to buy another tire to match the unsolicited free third tire, and I got so frustrated I semi shouted "NO...!" then put my face down on my fist and cried as I looked down, barely breathing and not saying anything for a solid straight minute. Phones ringing, people talking over the sounds of pneumatic tire equipment that was almost deafening... I eventually was able to say I need a moment, but by then the manager was like "We got you" and long story short I got 2 free tires. At least they matched in the end!!

[@Autistamatic]

Thanks for commenting. It's a great example of how even something like a marketing gimmick can throw someone out of kilter and mess up their day. I'm glad they took care of you in the end.

[@Space_Potat]

WHY THE HECC IS THIS CHANNEL SO UNDERRATED??! Thank you so very much for this video. Another discovery for myself, about myself. With something I’ve been specifically struggling lately ☝️ 🧐

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you for the compliment. Growth in such a narrow field is slow, but the best way to help it along is to share the content online. If you choose to do so you have my gratitude 👍

[@Space_Potat]

@@Autistamatic already shared with two friends who might watch it (and one of them, I’m not sure, but probably is an aspie too, but us the one less likely to watch I feel like :/ ) And will share on other places _when_ I’ll defeat my perfectionist fear/s All the power, luck and godspeed to you on KZbin journey ✊

[@Autistamatic]

@@Space_Potat Thank you. I appreciate it 😊

[@jessl1934]

@@Autistamatic You should consider approaching the channel Aspergers From The Inside (despite your difference of opinion on using the term "Aspergers" :P) to see if he would be open to having you feature on his channel - I feel like his audience would be very much open to your content so there is a natural synergy there. It might be just what your channel needs to get some additional exposure.

[@PeppermintPatties]

Masterful description of my mutism and meltdowns, Quinn. Losing the ability to speak and even communicate at all is not a choice in the event of what feels like an existential threat to my autistic self. Thank you for everything you do. xxx

[@AndThenTheresMo]

Thank you for putting into words what I've spent a lifetime trying to understand about myself and wishing others would understand about me.

[@oak_kitten]

Oh wow. Since my recent self diagnosis I’ve been wondering why I can’t remember ever having a meltdown. I entirely relate to shutdowns though, including the mutism on at least 2 occasions. Thank you for this video!

[@joannedixon-jackson7348]

I agree that the term is misleading. Perhaps “situational mutism” would be more appropriate?

[@baker8584]

The way ADD combines with my autism, my cognition fluctuates based on arousal, when I'm lowly stimulated, especially in the morning, I am dyslexic. Bet when highly stimulated, like meeting a group friends, I am hyperlexic. The middle ground is a confused anxious state of constant executive dysfunction 😂, sometimes I can only function by de-verbalizing my thoughts, no words, only form.

[@mdj864]

My son. He has social phobia and panic attacks as a result of years of bullying 🤯

[@turtleanton6539]

Same here

[@Cglay-fw5ti]

Google Peter Levine somatic experiencing. This form of therapy has the power to heal these wounds from the core (survival energy bound in the nervous system)

[@chellie99]

I don't want to talk on the phone. Or much at all. It seems a dangerous practice that exposes me to scorn and humiliation. I have always referred to my 1019 breakdowns while knowing the term didn't fit. They were, and are, autistic shutdowns. Thank you, Quinn. 💐

[@MrAndywills]

Nothing selective about it. When it happens, I don't have any choice.

[@JaneArtsyOtternutKirkwood]

Great video again Quinn and much needed too. Thank you. I also find myself struggling with written communication too which is a real issue nowadays with so much communication being through electronic methods of various kinds.

[@Autistamatic]

This is something I'll be mentioning in a later episode Jane 👍 Whilst temporary affects on our speech are more noticeable and immediate, the same stresses have a knock on effect on other forms of communication too.

[@JaneArtsyOtternutKirkwood]

@@Autistamatic oh good, I'll look forward to seeing that. Mind you, I always look forward to watching all your videos right enough 😁

[@mdj864]

My eldest son. He has ADHD and learning disabilities, and was bullied by peers and teachers throughout school. Because ofnrhos, has social phoboa/panic disorder

[@videocliplover]

This explains why I’ve been having trouble recently speaking my mind during initial wedding planning. It also explains why my mind used to try to forget people after they passed so I wouldn’t feel tremendous grief and pain from loss.

[@supersonictumbleweed]

I learned that if I push myself too far to talk, even further then I lose my ability to understand spoken language and I have to write. God bless smartphones

[@loopylou6841]

I wasn’t sure if I did until I heard you fully, I definitely do, mostly around certain members of the family

[@Zabawne_Gierki]

I think I have it. I never understood the whole 'meltdown' thing, but your explanation makes a lot of sense, that we shutdown instead. Great video.

[@GN315-pe6ul]

This is brilliant and describes, exactly, what brings about my episodes of mutism and how they are resolved.

[@superespiritual1553]

Damn.... this isn't what I was looking for. I can definitely talk,the words are there, but I feel intense anger for having to.

[@BooBooBugalugs]

Yes! This is it!

[@jillchaban7693]

Finally someone that explains this.. and puts it in the category it may need to be

[@andrewprettyquick2070]

Since you just fell into my suggestions today, with such ... compelling content, I think the channel is about to snowball. Or I'm just lucky. Godspeed!

[@lyrablack8621]

Thanks

[@PeteLittle1970]

Another great video Quinn. ;)

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you Pete 👍 Don't be a (mysterious dark) stranger ok!

[@gonnfishy2987]

I have shared your videos in possibly one of the best places with some of the most needing people, so they can listen to your understanding...

[@loricat5606]

Very well put!

[@soniczforever5470]

I was bullied relentlessly about my tone. I'm Anorexic. I live in a house where they bang doors all night so no chance I'll regain to a normal weight for frame. I'm bullied in kitchen. I frequently fast. Throw up food waist is stunted i cant eat like an average adult. Was screamed at 5 times in the pool. Dont know if i want to return. Im 38kg with no body fat as i got cancer scares if i gained fat. I eat little. I have 21 inch waist. I'm constantly yelled at told and lower my tone when i asked people to stop slamming the door. I get by on 4 hours sleep I'm trying to hold it together till my transfer comes through. I don't speak now. I use a whiteboard. Sometimes I won't even be in the house. I no longer talk. I'm half a person after all it's not just my waist damage even weight restored the bones are tiny. People would say be bigger and that's not what happens. I'm a muscular lady that can do pull ups and backwards free throws but very very ugly.

[@Fizziepop]

Wow. I'm speechless. (hah!) This was great, so comment left. Thank you

[@shxwtydntcry]

Very good video 🌌 thank you for spreading awareness on Selective Mutism . Everyone needs to have a voice ♡ I also make videos on mental health and Selective Mutism 💕

[@aspidoscelis]

Hm. If communication is nothing without trust, communication is nothing.

[@georgemarsden4226]

This whilst doesn't solve the issue I'm facing goes a way to help explain it. And for that I'm grateful. But what if I never come out of this shut down? It's been over 2 weeks now.

[@Autistamatic]

Hi George. Shutdowns can occasionally go on for weeks or months, dependent on your environment. If the stressors aren't removed then the stimulus that caused the shutdown stays with them. It's possible that if you're still shutdown after a fortnight your situation may have gone a step further and you may be in burnout. Either way the only solution is to do what you can to remove the causes of stress to allow you to recover. That's not always easy and sometimes entails doing things we'd rather not have to do like changing jobs or ending a friendship/relationship, however if it's possible it's always best to talk it over with someone you can trust before making any rash moves. If there's someone who can advocate for you personally to help you get out of the circumstances that led to your shutdown it's well worth asking. Although it's not a topic I've covered on the channel, burnout is well documented by other autistic creators & I'd strongly suggest you look into it. Even if you're not at that stage yet, you'll find useful information that may help you.

[@krugerfuchs]

And there's complex ptsd

[@turtleanton6539]

Very interesting

[@irenedenbak-lammers2713]

I prefer the term Social Communication Anxiety Disorder instead of Selective Mutism. This term was coined by Elisa Shipon-Blum

[@michellewehner7179]

Can selective mutism happen in regards to a specific person? I find that what you are explaining is very much like my experience with my sister. Yet I can do ok with others. It's like she stirs up so many emotional things in me, but I just can't find the words to express, and I just shutdown when she is around. And it's feels like "unfinished business"... Something that happened two years ago, yet I'm just now starting to respond to her in written word, with short "lol"'s or "thx". (Edit to add: I can't even remember what the original trigger was. This makes me sooooo confused about what is happening.) What are your thoughts? Thank you for everything, you have truly helped me navigate so much iny late dx life. 🙏🏻

[@em.terra.]

amei

[@vixwhite371]

😰this is me too a tee💔

[@AeonZhang]

💫🌟🖤🖤🖤🌟💫