Separation Anxiety - How to Drop Off Child Without Tantrums & Tears!

[@believestthouthis7]

Thank you for telling parents that it would be best if their young children were at home with their mothers. That is really the ultimate solution because babies and young toddlers are naturally going to prefer their mothers to anyone else. The fact that children have separation anxiety is proof that they have bonded with their mothers and that's a good thing! Childcare should be a last resort.

[@UnicornsPoopRainbows]

As a mom of 2 toddlers and a former daycare worker, great advice. Just sent it to my husband. The #1 mistake I see parents make is prolonging the good bye time, hoping their kiddo will cheer up. All that happens is they get more upset. Usually, they get distracted by playing within minutes if they can't see mom or dad!! Now, if your kiddo is upset often when you pick them up, there may be an issue at the daycare. Sometimes, the teacher just isn't a good fit or they change too often. Kids RELY on routine!

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@-LightSmit]

Nine kids! Respect for the information and thanks for sharing. ☑️

[@crys72891]

It is not a tantrum or bad behavior for a child to feel a sense of abandonment or fear when their parents drops them off. 🙄 Wow this entire video made me cringe.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

A sense of abandonment isn’t a behavior. It is a feeling. A feeling that will go away once they learn the routine. And, if a child does this every day--that’s not the issue because they already know you are coming back later. It doesn’t help to make a habit of allowing them to throw a fit at drop off time. That doesn’t make them feel good each day any more than it makes the parent feel good. That’s why you reassure and hug, then move on. They will get it--and as a mature parent, you know that. They will know it if you teach them.

[@expatmentor]

Very informative video. I have nearly 2 years old who will be going to nursery very soon. Great time for this video..!!💕🥰👍🏼

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Thank you! Subscribe and lmk if you have any other thoughts on videos that would be helpful for you. 😊

[@thegrowingstatewarriorbayarea]

OMG me and my wife are new parents and are currently going through this situation . This video is so helpful thank you very much !! Today marks a new day lol

[@MommyAnswerLady]

I’m so glad it helped. There are lots of other videos with instruction for other issues, so lmk if you have any questions. Congrats on your new little one!

[@thegrowingstatewarriorbayarea]

@@MommyAnswerLady He did great this week my wife and I are so happy ! Thanks again !

[@MommyAnswerLady]

So glad things worked out. 😀

[@ashleymurphy1485]

Thank you I needed to know how to handle it tomorrow on my sons first day of kindergarten

[@MommyAnswerLady]

How did the first day go? How is it going now?

[@Tahnaeya]

Very outdated advice! none of the behaviour talked about Is "bad behaviour" children have very limited ways of communicating feelings. and those big feelings don't just go away because you give them a kiss and a cuddle. Time outs are also proven ineffective and often lead to adults who shut down rather than work through big feelings. There are plenty of great videos on KZbin that help children work through separation anxiety not just STOP it for the parents benefit.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Teaching a child to behave isn’t just for a parent’s benefit. It is also helping them! A child is not happy when they are allowed to throw Fits and lose control. Children who are taught how to behave are happy, content and self-confident. If you don’t understand that, I can’t help you. It’s so lame to say “outdated”. Lol. Advice isn’t bad because it’s old or good because it’s new. It’s good if it works and helps a child grow up with an understanding of how to behave and control themselves. If you are suggesting children are happier and better adjusted with the progressive methods you go for, I ask you to walk into any store and listen to the wailing children and overwhelmed exhausted parents toting them around. Not so.

[@tiffanyscarbrough1462]

Hello, I love your videos. I have a 1 year old that constantly crys when he is at daycare but not at home. I do not hold him all the time he usually does really well at playing with his toys in the living room. We have taught self soothing. But here within thr last 2 weeks if I leave the room for even a second he will start screaming and won't calm down.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

First thing is to find out if there is anything going on at daycare. I know you may not like this answer…but staying home with your child is the very best thing you can do for him. If you have to change your lifestyle, get a less expensive car, home, etc…do it. That’s the best. Since I don’t know you, maybe you are the sole provider in your home and cannot do that. In that case, find a daycare that has all day cameras so you can check in and watch what is going on at all times, or get a sitter with a camera in your home. I don’t want to dismiss the idea that there is a problem going on that we are not aware of first. But…let’s say all that checks out. You are the sole provider and there is no abuse or neglect happening at daycare. Then, the question would be…what do you do when he screams? How do you handle this behavior now if he screams when you leave the room?

[@ruckerfamilyjourneytobaby5826]

You lost me at “children’s bad behavior” comment.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

If you aren’t sure what bad behavior looks like, I’m not sure how to help you. Are you not aware what bad behavior means?

[@ruckerfamilyjourneytobaby5826]

Mommy Answer Lady not in relation to separation anxiety. Please explain how that is considered bad behavior? You cannot help me anyway. I’m trying to prepare myself and my 5 month old for daycare. Thanks anyway.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

@@ruckerfamilyjourneytobaby5826 If I can’t help you anyway, then you don’t understand the whole subject. As the video explains, screaming and crying is a reflection of either legitimate separation anxiety which involves social fears, or it is manipulative. If it is social fears, you should help your child overcome so they will not have that anxiety or fear in the future. Loving a child is helping them overcome with a mature understanding of the future. Not just thinking about that moment. If it is manipulation, they should learn it doesn’t work. Either way, a child needs to get over the problem so their own future isn’t full of more incidents of screaming and crying at drop off. That’s why this method is best for both child and parent. If you didn’t watch the entire video, you didn’t get that.

[@crys72891]

I agree. Ridiculous to call a child crying due to their parent leaving "bad behavior". That is not bad behavior! In fact it is quite normal behavior. I would have never left my child with this lady.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

@@crys72891 You confuse feelings with behaviors. Screaming at the top of your lungs because you don’t like something is bad behavior. Throwing a fit is bad behavior. Of course children that are not taught how to behave properly do this. Teach them how to behave and they will. Just because a child feels a certain way doesn’t mean throwing a fit is appropriate. This philosophy that all behavior is acceptable just because a child does it in response to an emotion is why there are so many exhausted and overwhelmed parents toting screaming out of control children around in the store! Telling parents “that’s just the way children are” doesn’t help either of them. Teaching and training does.

[@angelinahuitron4262]

Thank you!

[@MommyAnswerLady]

You’re welcome!

[@margilakhani7670]

Hello! Amazing tips! Further I have a few more concerns with my 3 year old boy. He has a speech delay. He does speak everything but is not yet conversing or much interested in conversations. On his first few days of school I was allowed to make him familiar with the school environments and teachers. But he kept crying seeing other kids all around. I wouldn’t say he’s antisocial but hesitant to crowds and people. It takes weeks for him to adjust. He cried all the time. I tried so many different ways to adjust him make him comfortable in new surroundings and people but it’s just not easy. His behavior is extremely violent and fussy. Please help! 🙏🏻

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Thank you so much for asking. I am curious about his speech delay. Can you explain what you mean by that? Some of his fear and apprehension could be related to the fact that he knows he cannot easily communicate and this causes him distress when meeting new people. But, also, I would ask, why do you feel it is necessary to send him to school at 3 years old? I will do what I can to advise, but would like a little more information.

[@jorgeramos9237]

I am dealing with the exact situation, my son had a speech delay but we got him help has caught up and even excelled. My issue now is drop offs at school, he just turned 3 a day before school started so I believe it’s too soon for him but my wife thinks other ways. I’ve explained to my wife that he needs more time to get thru one milestone at a time, we just started potty training him and is about 90% done with that. I just believe it’s too much pressure for him right now to go from one big milestone to another… am I right for feeling the way I feel or do I just need to put on my “Big Boy” pants one 😅??

[@jessenia198]

How do I help my 2.5 year old have a nice and positive drop off at preschool? She goes one day a week but every time I have to drop her off she starts to cry when it’s time to say goodbye. I left her last week and the minute I turned around she started crying. I waited outside the gate where she couldn’t see me and she calmed down after a while but it’s so heartbreaking that it made me want to stay with her again for class this week. Her teacher sent me an update last week saying she was perfectly fine later on.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Thank you for asking. I can understand your concern. I assume you watched the video, but the problem you specifically will have is that she only goes one day a week. That's actually GREAT! I'm not at all suggesting she go more. But, it will be more difficult to remedy the crying at drop off if she goes a whole week between sessions. In the end, it's all going to be ok. Your child probably already knows she will be fine. And, as the teachers said, she is fine within a short period of time after you leave. She just has to get her mind into something else. Seriously, don't let it break your heart (I know that's easy to say). She is just learning that separating from Mom will result in everything working out for the good. And, do exactly as this video instructs. If you think about it... she will grow up and not even remember any of this. You are the one who will and if you recognize, in the long run, it isn't really a problem... you can move on and all will be well. If you look at all the comments here, I did give a long reply to someone else who asked about this. It may be more difficult with a 2.5 year old to try the bracelet tactic because her understanding may not be up to the level it would be effective. And, like I said, only once a week is going to be hard to make any remedy work consistently until she is a little older and can connect last week with this week. But, if she continues to do this, I would give that a try. I'll come back and paste that reply in a few minutes for you...

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Here's a copy of the reply I gave someone else about the bracelet idea. Like I said, you could try this if she continues after you have done what this first video said consistently. My suggestion is you purchase an inexpensive silicon bracelet. You can find them online or in the description on the short video I’m going to send you. This video is about physical aggression toward others, but the behavior bracelet is going to be the same concept. Get a bracelet and sit her down at home for a conversation. Tell her you have something VERY very special that she might get to wear --- but she has to show she can behave. She can’t wear it yet. Not until tomorrow… (if that’s a daycare day). Make sure she knows all of this BEFORE you show her the bracelet. Then, show her the bracelet, but don’t let her touch it. Ask her if she thinks it is pretty. What color is it? Does she think it will look pretty on her arm? ETc. But, don’t let her touch it. Tell her it is too special for her to touch it yet. She only gets to touch it when she shows she can behave at drop off. This discussion will only take a few minutes, but make sure you hold it carefully and act like it is precious. Then place the bracelet in a prominent place of honor in your home… like on the fireplace mantel on top of a pedestal, or on a cake plate on the kitchen counter. It is best to let the caregiver know this is happening and what you are trying to achieve --- so the next day they can go along with seeing the bracelet and expressing their pleasure that she it getting to wear it. Also hopefully they will give her little comments throughout the day about how special her bracelet is and how happy they are she earned it that morning. For the entire day or evening before, refer to the bracelet every so often and remind her that she can wear it tomorrow if she shows she is a big enough girl to earn it. All she has to do is not fuss or cry at drop off time. All this is to break that habit in her mind and help her achieve a change. And, make her feel good about doing so. Then, before you leave the house that morning, tell her to come with you to the place where the bracelet is and have her watch YOU take it off the place of honor and carefully place it in your purse or pocket or wherever. Remind her again, if she behaves at drop off time, she will get to wear it all day. Drive to day care and ask just before you arrive, say you are so excited for her! She will get to wear her bracelet if she behaves! How exciting! Then, as you walk up to the door, stop, get on her level, and tell her you have the bracelet. Is she going to get to wear it today? Hopefully, her excitement and anticipation at the earning of this reward will help switch her mind into a different mindset and turn off the habit/routine thing by making this morning different. As you place it on her wrist, say, “Aren’t you proud of yourself? You get to wear your bracelet today!” Then say good bye and move on. If she starts to cry, remind her that she won’t be able to wear the bracelet if she does that. Hopefully she won’t at all because of all this drama beforehand. At the end of each day, when she takes off the bracelet, remember to treat it very special and carefully as if it is a precious jewel. Tell her you will keep it in your purse so it will be safe through the night and tomorrow she gets to put it back on when it’s time for day care again. Here is the video I was talking about. It will be the same kind of concept and you can find the link to the bracelets. Actually any bracelet will do, but I like silicon because they are safe for little ones, they can get wet, etc. Hope all this helps you. Let me know how it goes! kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWfIimanh5h4kMU

[@FemmeIntangible]

Lady, you clearly forgot how it feels when you're a kid and parwnt just droos you off with a ton of strangers, big or small... Why is that even a "bad behavior", what kind of talk is that? This video is just unkind,just watch what words are used...

[@MommyAnswerLady]

You clearly did not listen carefully. And remember, your child needs to overcome fear. Not embrace and hold on to it. Helping a child learn this is what gives them confidence and the ability to move on and enjoy their time at preschool or daycare. If you don’t like the advice, you are welcome to disregard it. 😊

[@hamshidasajmal1804]

Hi mam, my son 3 years and 9 months startes his kg class. He cries a lot when I leave after deop off and it stops within minutes. But the issue is he is sick (fever) after the school hours and he is also disturbed during his sleep and cries even at that time. He wants me too in his school. He is such an active boy around the home and is self dependent but only at home

[@MommyAnswerLady]

If your son is not even 4 yet, he should not be going anywhere to school generally. He is too young to be going to kindergarten and daycare is not good unless it is just a few hours in the morning before lunch and 2 or 3 days a week in a safe and loving environment. I suggest you view this video. Let me know if you have questions after that. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iWm7ZIKEaq9rjqs

[@neharicasharma8797]

Thanks for the great video! My 16m old has been going to day care on and off for 1.5m now (skipped for about two weeks as he was sick). He cries so much at drop off and continues to cry there. Teachers have been asking us to pick him back after an hour of continuous crying. He is such a happy, kind and sweet kid at home. We are so concerned on how we can remedy this. Should we seek alternative child care or another daycare?

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Thank you for your question. My first obligation is to tell you what is the very best thing for your child. That is that you are home with him until he goes to school. If finances are a concern, then if at all possible, adjust your lifestyle, live in a smaller house, an older car, etc. Remember this time in your life is short. Only a few years. If this is not possible, then, I suggest you find out what the teachers at day care are doing when he cries. How are they handling it and what are they doing to encourage him to stop and participate in with everyone else? If they do not know what to do and do not have satisfactory answers, yes. It would be reasonable to seek a better accommodation for him. If they are a responsible and skilled staff, they would know what to do and how to handle it. Also, be sure you are doing what is explained in the video about not adding to his trauma by your own responses. Hope this helps!

[@Anna-le8fc]

I am desperately seeking for some advice so any comments from you would be helpful… my daughter is 18 months old and this is week 3 in her day care. Prior to this, she had a babysitter twice a week. She was mostly cared for at home. The director of her daycare wanted us to do 3-5 days a week to create a routine for her, otherwise she said it would be too hard for her to adjust (and she does have extreme separation anxiety). She’s been going to a daycare five days a week and everytime I pick her up, she almost lost her voice due to constant crying and screaming all day. I need to work and can’t stay home with her. This has been emotionally and physically hard for our family. I don’t know what to do now.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

First, it’s not true she needs to go to get used to it. As much as you can have her home, do so. If she could be home all day everyday with her mother, that would be best. Are you a single mom? Is that why you can’t stay home?

[@Anna-le8fc]

@@MommyAnswerLady Thank you so much for replying. My husband and I are both immigrants, and we both need to work to financially support our family, and we have no relatives living nearby. She had a babysitter for a while but we found out the babysitter was neglecting her or letting her watch KZbin all day. We immediately had to enroll her in daycare. Given the situation, would you recommend finding another daycare that allows part-time attendance, or should we explore different daycare options altogether? It's clear to both my husband and me that our child is experiencing a lot of stress. Unfortunately, communication with her current daycare hasn't been great either.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

You will not like my advice. You need to sacrifice whatever is necessary to stay home with your child. I know this is hard to hear. Your child has likely already suffered abuse and neglect when not with you and now has a rational fear of being with others. She knows she is not cared for by them and being unable to care for herself and powerless to do anything about any abuse or neglect she suffers, she is afraid all the time she is gone from home. In order to remedy this, first, she needs to feel confidence. She needs to be home with you as much as possible. Once she is older and has been at home with you to heal her fears, then you can start working on allowing her to go other places, like kindergarten possibly. (Although I do not suggest public school. If you can't afford private, then homeschool.) She could also be in other groups of young people with you there for a playdate for example. And, as she gets over her fears and sees that you will protect her, she can continue to grow into a self-reliant person. But, right now, she has good reason to have fear of being away from you. That is my advice. No matter what, get her out of any daycare that does not communicate well with you. Instead of looking for the cheapest option, look for one that is second best if you have to at all. The best is home with you. See this video please: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iWm7ZIKEaq9rjqs

[@Heirloomspirit]

Your underlying message is correct, but young children don't have the capability of "manipulation". What age group are you targeting here? Learned behaviors, sure, which is the parents/caregivers responsibility, but there is a need that isn't being met and it takes time to develop new routines and establish trust and safety. Your language in this video is incredibly outdated and not in line with what we know about early childhood development of the brain. Labeling children as manipulative or bad, because they are struggling creates a mental block in the caregiver to actually help and recognize the underlying issue.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

First, I suggest you see this video that explains why children fussing at inappropriate times isn't always an unmet need. Sometimes it could be, but that is not the only conclusion in every circumstance and when parents believe this, they are constantly making bad decisions about how to handle various behaviors and feeling overwhelmed because they have this mindset. kzbin.info/www/bejne/aKPLi6SVipyljdU THe word "manipulate" bothers you. The definition I would site is this: “to handle, control, or influence typically in a skillful manner” Notice the word “typically” in this definition. That means usually. Not always. Also, a synonym phrase in the online dictionary was “to twist around one’s little finger”. Do you not think this applies to the way parents and children interact much of the time, especially when there is a problem with childhood behaviors? Young children are not malicious but they DO manipulate all the time. They know that by displaying certain behaviors, they will get certain responses. They are not devious. They are not in any way thinking or conscious of the idea of "manipulation", but they certainly are doing it. The word “manipulate” usually indicates some kind of malicious intent. But actually manipulation can happen by natural causes especially when it comes to infants. Infants are innocent and although they learn as they grow that certain behaviors produce certain responses, they are not mindful of how this effects the emotions or thoughts of others. They are completely clueless about this and that is why the word "manipulate" hits you the way it does. And why people don't like that word used to describe how young children influence or control their parents. My language is "outdated"? LOL I'm not worried about the idea of that AT ALL! To be "in date" I would say how little boys could actually be little girls and we are supposed to drug and mutilate them to help them "be their true selves". Or, I would have to tell parents that if a child is throwing a tantrum, we should "get down on their level and empathize with their feelings" rather than teach them how to behave and then address their concerns after that. If you are calling my methods and words "outdated", I consider that a compliment. Thank you! And possibly you should consider that I have had nine children and raised them successfully to adulthood and worked with hundreds of families throughout the years. There is a possiblity that the "outdated" methods have some wisdom in them and are the ones that work and why the modern world sees children as a burden rather than a blessing. It is because many parents are exhausted and frustrated trying to deal with children's bad behavior and going to the "experts" who are "in date" with their words and messages and finding no lasting relief from progressive parenting methods. Just because something is old doesn't mean it isn't good and just because something is new doesn't mean it is. Consider.

[@Heirloomspirit]

@@MommyAnswerLady I appreciate that you took the time to explain where you're coming from. We agree on much, much more than you probably realize. I don't like the term manipulate to describe children, because whatever the child is doing is a learned behavior and some form of relationship dynamic they have with someone. Fingers should be pointed at the adults in their life, not them. Not all people realize that and take the term as though the child is scheming. When we view children this way, as I said before, it puts the caregiver in a defensive position and that's not where we want to operate from. I believe you understand that, but many don't.

[@hoolie5318]

Manipulation… ok yea. So toxic to say a child is manipulating you. Maybe they need the attention and reassurance. They are learning to regulate their emotions.. being cold teaches them to be cold

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Clearly you have missed the point. It is a very natural thing for a child to do whatever works to get an adult to do what he wants. If screaming works, that’s what he does. That is a manipulation unless he is actually hurt. And…that wasn’t the only reason given for tantrums at dropoff either. This isn’t about being cold at all. It’s about teaching a child what will and will not receive attention. It is to the benefit of the child when they learn to calm down and behave. They are not happy throwing a fit. It is a stressful time for them to not know how to behave too. Not just for the parents or caregivers. The child suffers over and over again. Teaching them to behave brings them comfort and contentment too. Think ahead. Not just in the moment.

[@brokenanalog]

My daughter 3yo ,cries every day at drop off. Has not gotten any easier. Since Sept. now in March. We Walk into school happy temp checks Show her to her class. Quick transition of showing her inside and saying goodbye. Tears every morning at the classroom She drops to her knees at the door (Her teachers reassure us ,it stops as soon as we go around the corner) I feel like there has to be a way to overcome this.

[@MommyAnswerLady]

I'm sorry you are struggling. What do you do in response to this behavior? At this point, since it has been going on so long, that is her routine. It's her habit.

[@brokenanalog]

We make drop off as quick as possible. The advice her teachers have given me is to quickly leave and not drag the process. We have tried talking about it on the way to school. “No crying , mommy and daddy come back” We have tried taking her bedtime bear with her. How can I reset the routine? Or a different strategy

[@MommyAnswerLady]

@@brokenanalog My suggestion is you purchase an inexpensive silicon bracelet. You can find them online or in the description on the short video I’m going to send you. This video is about physical aggression toward others, but the behavior bracelet is going to be the same concept. Get a bracelet and sit her down at home for a conversation. Tell her you have something VERY very special that she might get to wear --- but she has to show she can behave. She can’t wear it yet. Not until tomorrow… (if that’s a daycare day). Make sure she knows all of this BEFORE you show her the bracelet. Then, show her the bracelet, but don’t let her touch it. Ask her if she thinks it is pretty. What color is it? Does she think it will look pretty on her arm? ETc. But, don’t let her touch it. Tell her it is too special for her to touch it yet. She only gets to touch it when she shows she can behave at drop off. This discussion will only take a few minutes, but make sure you hold it carefully and act like it is precious. Then place the bracelet in a prominent place of honor in your home… like on the fireplace mantel on top of a pedestal, or on a cake plate on the kitchen counter. It is best to let the caregiver know this is happening and what you are trying to achieve --- so the next day they can go along with seeing the bracelet and expressing their pleasure that she it getting to wear it. Also hopefully they will give her little comments throughout the day about how special her bracelet is and how happy they are she earned it that morning. For the entire day or evening before, refer to the bracelet every so often and remind her that she can wear it tomorrow if she shows she is a big enough girl to earn it. All she has to do is not fuss or cry at drop off time. All this is to break that habit in her mind and help her achieve a change. And, make her feel good about doing so. Then, before you leave the house that morning, tell her to come with you to the place where the bracelet is and have her watch YOU take it off the place of honor and carefully place it in your purse or pocket or wherever. Remind her again, if she behaves at drop off time, she will get to wear it all day. Drive to day care and ask just before you arrive, say you are so excited for her! She will get to wear her bracelet if she behaves! How exciting! Then, as you walk up to the door, stop, get on her level, and tell her you have the bracelet. Is she going to get to wear it today? Hopefully, her excitement and anticipation at the earning of this reward will help switch her mind into a different mindset and turn off the habit/routine thing by making this morning different. As you place it on her wrist, say, “Aren’t you proud of yourself? You get to wear your bracelet today!” Then say good bye and move on. If she starts to cry, remind her that she won’t be able to wear the bracelet if she does that. Hopefully she won’t at all because of all this drama beforehand. At the end of each day, when she takes off the bracelet, remember to treat it very special and carefully as if it is a precious jewel. Tell her you will keep it in your purse so it will be safe through the night and tomorrow she gets to put it back on when it’s time for day care again. Here is the video I was talking about. It will be the same kind of concept and you can find the link to the bracelets. Actually any bracelet will do, but I like silicon because they are safe for little ones, they can get wet, etc. Hope all this helps you. Let me know how it goes! kzbin.info/www/bejne/oWfIimanh5h4kMU

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Have you tried the bracelet plan?

[@sivalingamsomasundaram5049]

Hi Krisp, did the bracelet plan work for you ? How is your daughter doing now ? I really want to know how you managed through this stage ? My daughter started to go to day care last week and she cries everyday I drop her off , sometimes she stays at the door for the whole day and keeps whining and saying papa come !! It pains my heart I feel so guilty for abandoning my child and not being there for her. Today she is feverish and I feel may be the stress due to day care is making her sick :(( I feel like a terrible person :,( she is 21 months old

[@nishila.t.fasalu9565]

hello mam my baby 1.5 yr old he is screaming when i drop off him at the nursery 😓am so worried can u please help me..? he is crying for hours

[@MommyAnswerLady]

I’m sorry you are struggling. This may not be what you want to hear. My very first suggestion is to stay home with your child. If you want the very best for your baby, being home with mom is the best until they are older. Are you single or are you married to father?

[@swathih1]

@@MommyAnswerLady I noticed your advice on a few comments here. I like that you recommend staying home with the child is the best thing. I recently enrolled my 17-month-old into daycare. But I am having second thoughts about sending her and would love to know why you think this would be a better choice for the mom and the toddler. Such a great video!

[@MommyAnswerLady]

@@swathih1 Thank you for the kind words and for asking. A child cannot be loved and cared for better than with the mother God gave them. In a daycare environment, they may be cared for, fed, diaper changed, etc. But the personal interaction and bond is not there. This is a basic essential to a child’s healthy emotional development. Having that attentive personal interaction throughout the day is what is best for every child. Especially in the first 5-6 years, a child should be with their parent most of the time. A babysitter for an evening or a few hours in the day here and there is fine-(and necessary for mom to have a break!) But not daycare all day. That’s not best. This video though takes into account that there are single moms who have no choice. They are the only provider in their household and may have no relatives to assist. In that case, daycare is necessary. Your little one is only 17 months. If you can stay home, do it. You’ll never regret the time you gave to your baby. Think about it from the perspective of the child. They can feel who cares for them more and they are completely dependent on whoever is there. When they are in a daycare situation, that’s just not best.

[@glamma123]

What would you do for a child almost 4 that continues to do this at drop offs ? Would you imply any consequences for this behaviour. She loves to go and has a great day once I have left but plays up at drop offs I’ve been doing your suggestions with no luck

[@MommyAnswerLady]

Have a sit down conversation. See this video for a plan. Consequences could be a loss of reward specific to going to daycare. Maybe a special bracelet/armband worn each day that they get when it’s time to drop off. If they behave as you leave, you hand it to them. They keep it on all day and if still there at pick up, you do something special, like go to park before dinner, or stop for ice cream on way home. If they lose it, they try again the next day. See this video to implement. kzbin.info/www/bejne/fXbZdXuwl9aejKM