Set 3, Game 3 - No More Jockeys [20.10.20]

No More Jockeys is a game created by Alex Horne, Tim Key and Mark Watson.
✔ HOW TO PLAY
On each turn, players name a person plus a category they fall under. That person and category are then eliminated, and subsequent people must not fall under that category. As more categories are added it gets harder, and eventually impossible, to name anyone new.
★ TWITTER
/ alexhorne
/ timkeyperson
/ watsoncomedian
★ MERCHANDISE
teespring.com/stores/nomorejo...
♫ MUSIC
Symphony No. 104 in D major (Haydn)
► VIDEO
Alex Horne + Haiminh Le

[@NoMoreJockeys]

Let's try again, shall we? This wouldn't happen on Jackie Weaver's watch. Thank you @MildMark - the NMJ Disciplinary Board will be making sure this doesn't happen again.

[@jess228]

Those revolving doors can be tricky.

[@BeccaBee20]

Who is Alan Murdoch please? Yes please!

[@Jambobist]

Can we clarify whether or not Jackie Weaver has authority over NMJ?

[@Peteroranje]

We need a Handforth/ NMJ crossover episode!

[@SplendidChrisLloyd]

It feels like, when you really think about the standing orders for just a second, you didn't read them and understand them.

[@AshleySmith-dw6wh]

No more people who, when you think of them, have re uploaded a KZbin video more than once

[@JamieThelin]

Back in my day Mother Nature was called Penelope.

[@MichaelCoombes776]

Does that make "answering the call of nature" a "Penelope Pitstop"?

[@Kimberton149]

The new normal taking its toll on NMJ here with complete chaos from start to finish. Yet despite the challenges the boys deliver a game for the connoisseurs: Horne putting in some exemplary work with an actual joke, Watto proving he is the absolute master of the Challenge, while Key continues to push boundaries with the sort of panache only a true deranged genius could muster. Beautiful.

[@Izzno]

Proper joke that was.

[@Gnuary]

“This is stuff that, like, a unicorn wouldn’t be doing” made me spit coffee all over my phone.

[@ChuckBeans61]

Omg, it made me spit my phone into my coffee!

[@RJNeary]

I like how prepared Alex is for Tim saying "Listen". "We are."

[@danthecrow1701]

3 series in..... why is it that “Daffy Duck” being credited to Disney is so upsetting that I and many others have to leave our displeasure below the line. Furious!

[@julianlineham]

“I don’t notice half the stuff going on in this game” - classic Key. Good game...

[@whitk034]

When I think about it, I've seen this before

[@BeccaBee20]

When you really take a moment to think about it, ox is more of a job than an animal.

[@yourenosey7604]

When you actually really sit down and have a good old think about it

[@PeterCrighton]

Does it wear gloves, though?

[@BeccaBee20]

@@PeterCrighton Cloven (gl)ooves? Is there something in that? A draft, perhaps.

[@PeterCrighton]

@@BeccaBee20 I did know about draught beer, but not draught beef.

[@csurname]

@@PeterCrighton Oxing gloves.

[@froghornleghorn]

Cant help but think that Key's concoction of a fake mocha should be called a "Mocka"

[@thisgirlfromderby]

I don't mind that at all

[@matthewread2509]

How do you know it isn't?

[@froghornleghorn]

@@matthewread2509 I don't know that it isn't, but because I want it to be my joke I am going to assume...

[@themongoosedog]

I think Key has an excellent point with whether the sex terms should be considered a "type" or "kind" of animal. Which is frankly a bit surprising, because if I recall this is the man that wasn't sure whether a bird is an animal. I think many people would associated "type" or "kind" in that context with "species," not any label for an animal (such as those based on sex/age/state of their gonads). Next time it comes up (and I have a feeling it will again) he should ask for a clarification as the category is declared, and not wait until he has to defend an answer.

[@willorchard]

Totally agree. Otherwise any name, say for instance Enya, contains an animal - i.e. Enya herself who is undeniably a human, which is an animal. I think if the category is going to work, an animal has to refer to the species, and so excludes distinguishing between the male and female form, or indeed the castrated form.

[@savagehenry8286]

When I think about it, the best thing about Fridays is now NMJs. I suggest we stand outside on our doorsteps this coming Thursday at 6pm and, nay not clap, but quietly lift a foaming ale or glass of red in a silent toast to Mr Horne, Mr Key and Mr Watson. It used to be the start of the weekend that was the best thing about Fridays, but the weekend has lost a lot of its muster these past twelve months. What with it feeling like we are stuck in one constant dull weekend. So well done, chaps.

[@MichaelCoombes776]

Tim: I'll go Fox, because you can't change it to make the word Fox. Very clever! Mark and Alex: LET'S GET HIM!

[@misterc5783]

If the end of covid was to mean the end of NMJ, I won’t lie, I’d be torn.

[@peacefulpaul]

It sort of has done and im not saying I’d swap back but I do miss them

[@boozeshmooze6731]

Mark Watson was on Richard Osman's House of Games this week, Tim Key and Alex Horne have also been on in the past. Easily searchable on KZbin.

[@flywithguy_]

I like the fact you’re giving Key an extra go at winning by reuploading this, but I’m afraid it’ll end in much the same way as the previous two versions. Nevertheless, I’ll stick with it and see how it pans out! Key to start.

[@ATwitchyGamer]

I'll put in the work. *This week's categories* Key: No more without defined appearance Watson: No more born in non-UK Commonwealth country Horne: No more colours within names Key: -No more people that share a christian name with a Disney character (that Key knows)- Key: No more world leaders Watson: No more names shared with UK monarchs Horne: No more names one letter away from an animal Key: -No more singers- Watson: No more first + last letter of name in same half of alphabet Horne: No more photographed with moustache Watson: No more of their siblings met by players Horne: -No more met by Horne's mother-in-law-

[@bigjaffa02]

This episode, when have a good old think about it, has been re-uploaded about four times now. Don't mind it.

[@earldizon8532]

Yay thanks for fixing the category cards. We appreciate it. It just gives us another reason (not that we need one) to rewatch the episode!

[@megalamb]

2nd reupload? Guess I’ll just say again that Daffy Duck isn’t Disney :P

[@sirsamuel12345]

I genuinely look forward to this upload every week.

[@MichaelCoombes776]

Now you got 3 in one week.

[@laurapolly5419]

Love the fact that, like my lovely self, you guys know next to nothing about technology but still managed to deliver a master class of an episode. I laughed so hard at one point that my husband came to find me in case I was in pain! When you think about it, thanks boys ❤️⭐️

[@scottsanerd]

What the bloody hell is it with these people and not knowing what an animal is?! Or, more specifically, Key not knowing, and Watto and Horne indulging him 😂

[@AlexRoseGames]

whoah I was searching youtube for the old episodes of No More Women from my childhood and somehow managed to find this despite the rebrand. I have literal hours of content to catch up with

[@AlexRoseGames]

I am now up to date

[@millxxors]

Dungeons and Dragons one-shot game, Greg Davies to DM, plot featuring all the big names mentioned across Jockeys history. ^ If this ever happened, I could die happy.

[@sammybots]

I would love and (more lucratively) pay to see a No More Jockeys live stream. I dunno if this adds anymore weight to my suggestion but I was named after Samantha Fox.

[@izzy-ec6jj]

Yes pleeeeeease

[@Ellyerre]

There is going to be a No More Jockeys livestream on the 19th for the Leicester Comedy Festival but it has already sold out (limited tickets for a livestream is, when you think about it, awful but lawful at best). But maybe they will do more in the future.

[@sammybots]

@@Ellyerre you think I didn’t get my ticket? I got my ticket. I got my ticket as I was watching Tim Key do his live stream because I’m, your friend and mine, mildly obsessed. Genuinely excited, actually.

[@Ellyerre]

@@sammybots I don't mind that. I'm happy for you.

[@HamzaDarby]

@@Ellyerre I need answers. How does an online live stream sell out? Surely there shouldn't be a limit? Unless it's a technical thing, and if too many people are watching it'll break?

[@sierrahunterlewis7677]

I MISS these BOYS 💗 It's like hanging out with buddies!!

[@bencarter6947]

When you think about it, it’s a fast titles whitewash

[@Jambobist]

This is an Ox - Shows picture of Highland Cow.

[@Avistew]

I mean, an ox is a castrated bull, so unless you can tell from the face that it's a cow, and therefore female, it could very well be an ox.

[@PeterCrighton]

@@Avistew Unless you can tell from the face that it’s castrated, it could very well be a bull.

[@Avistew]

@@PeterCrighton Very true, but it could be an ox. It would look the same. So nothing wrong with Key showing a picture of a cattle of undetermined gender.

[@PeterCrighton]

@@Avistew True. I also certainly didn’t want to assume that cattle’s gender. Nice hair, though.

[@MichaelCoombes776]

@@PeterCrighton if you can tell from the face that it's been castrated, something's probably gone wrong.

[@danthecrow1701]

Greatest show not on TV!

[@witherkay]

Quite glad they got it over with quickly. I've been up half the night watching cricket.

[@jamie_rides]

I'm not sure I can be arsed to comment a third time!

[@davelangford2439]

The duckbilled platapus is the #1 draft animal, they're not even close to finishing it. Its more of a spare parts animal if anything.

[@SixteenJacobsCreams]

Nah surely it's the worm. Didn't even fucking bother with that one.

[@Tealoafy]

I’d call that an efficient display. All tight in the 3rd set. This MUST become a tv show soon.

[@katiehough2499]

I think Key has a point - ox is more of a job than a type of animal. John Bhuman wouldn't be OK, but John Bsnookerplayer would be alright.

[@Izzno]

Oh, when he and Kate Badministrativeassistant were on Strictly, made me weep.

[@Avistew]

It's not a job, it's the castrated male version, like a capon is a castrated male chicken. They're animals, and sure it's weird that we have different names for castrated males and whole males but they don't stop being animals when they testes get chopped off.

[@csurname]

Oxes sing the high parts in the cattle choir.

[@elisafrenkel70]

Just watched Richard Osmans House of Games and SPOILER ALERT Mark won. So I think that now means all three NMJ players have a house of Games trophy in their possession

[@tr1ckster]

When you think about it, I’ll have to post my comment about Watto using his catch phrase “I don’t mind it” on Richard Osman’s House of Games this week again.

[@simonbennett9687]

The first person I heard using the phrase was John Robins several years ago. It may well be that’s it’s percolated through the U.K. comedy establishment. I have no evidence of where it started though.

[@cmcbride]

@@simonbennett9687 Likewise I've spotted Key's 'your friend and mine' doing a bit of travelling lately, I think I heard Josh Widdecombe use it recently.

[@dbeightyfive]

That was a relief

[@michaelawoolnough9768]

Currently screaming NIGEL MANSEAL at my phone send help

[@jcsoybomb]

Clamdia Winkleman, a bit later

[@kcolloran]

is manseal an animal? You'd have to add one and take three away. Basically any name is an animal with that kind of work.

[@jcsoybomb]

@@kcolloran Ah, true - No more names one letter away from an animal (Bodger - Badger)

[@michaelawoolnough9768]

@@jcsoybomb just a moment of applause for getting clam and winkle in together, both sea creatures and both innuendo, props

[@Five-lines-of-something]

Pigel Mansell here. I don't think Watto heard us.

[@thomaskuzma4360]

Tim! What are you doing?! Poets are masters of the literary language. Get your name game together! Also you all are masters of comedy, keep rocking on!

[@gappy3234]

What a relief

[@jess228]

Perfectly functional.

[@Afrojoet]

"Sam Fox. That's quite clever, that's quite clever play."

[@Fiddleback]

OH just because... To all of you saying 'an ox is more of a job than an animal' may I present, the Musk Ox.

[@SeanS102]

Up Up and Away, To Infinity and Beyond, All That Lot

[@joehaukemusic]

Oh here it is! It really is a case of when you think about it, I wonder why was the first one taken down...

[@megalamb]

They’ve fixed the yellow box categories it seems

[@NoMoreJockeys]

For one of the shorter episodes, you've no idea how much trouble this one has been, in terms of both tech and the editor's general incompetence.

[@TomMannCenturia]

3 times the charm.

[@SixteenJacobsCreams]

Also I liked the Tess Daly joke

[@petergilbert7106]

Who knew that Oxen would become the new Penelope Pitstop? I reckon this has never been typed before on the internet. Do I win ten pounds?

[@no_more_jockeys_tribute]

1 K Mother Nature - NM without defined appearance 2 W Kylie Minogue - NM born in non-UK commonwealth country 3 H Darren Brown - NM colours within name 4 K Donald Trump - NM world leaders 5 W George Ezra - NM names shared with UK monarchs 6 H Bodger - NM names one letter away from an animal 7 K Sam Fox - NM singers - H (& W) challenge #6 - Key out 8 W Wayne Rooney - NM first + last letter of name in same half of alphabet 9 H Nigel Mansell - NM photographed with moustache 10 W Claudia Winkleman - NM of their siblings met by players 11 H Tess Daly - NM met by Horne’s mother-in-law W challenge #8 - Horne out Watto wins

[@RFC-3514]

Key should have argued that there is no _species_ of animal called "ox", and that it's basically equivalent to saying that a "baldie" is an animal (i.e., a different species where something has been cut).

[@VincaMinor42]

Yay, birthday NMJ! I love Alex's octopus shirt, anyone have any idea where one could purchase it? Also, was anyone else really hoping Mark would come back with a shirt with bats (flying *and* mammal) on?

[@conz1012]

Sam fox.. That's actually quite clever Hahaha the man is a hero

[@RossingtonBear]

1:10 I paused to go and put a shirt on. A shirt covered in Albatrosses.

[@stephaniewaters1777]

Changing minds, changing lives 🧐 Mate got a job in research and I found myself asking if he wears job-gloves when I meant to ask if it's based in a wet lab or just on computer

[@chrisnicol3993]

Didn't mind that one bit.

[@BodywiseMustard]

I feel that ram and ox shouldn't count, but the rule should have been clarified a bit more

[@chriskaprys]

just realised this game starts with Horne's apology song. "How, sorry, am I...(ok)"

[@hanthedudette]

I'll rest easy in my bed tonight knowing that, when you think about it, the FAST TITLES were DELETED.

[@SixteenJacobsCreams]

Can we make the perspective game a permanent feature? Or maybe a separate channel.

[@missSuperknitter]

I would love to see Key’s Google search history. On the other hand though, that could severely damage my faith in humanity.

[@Bluedotred]

Tim's picture on his phone isn't an ox, it's a Highlands cow

[@rkah6187]

No. That is what the whole discussion has been about. Ox is not a separate species, it only means it's a castrated male cattle. Cow is female, bull is a male that has not been castrated. The one on the picture is a Highland cattle and for all we can see it can be a cow, a bull or an ox.

[@timbatrombone]

To any Chinese viewers I just want to wish you a happy new year for next week. It's going to be the year of the ox...

[@veganjackson]

Where is today's ep? My Friday is missing something here.

[@mrfreeman1995]

I know you film weeks in advance, but can we get a show off of all three of your Richard Osman House of Games trophies please? I imagine Mark spent the whole week thinking of the shame of being the only one of the three without the trophy!

[@bencoat124]

A new upload. But 'new' is just one letter away from 'newt' an animal. I'll walk. Or should I ?

[@oliver8891]

Donald McRonald I think he meant

[@gladtobeangry]

I wanted to state that I decline to comment on a video that keeps getting deleted and reuploaded, but I don't have the conviction to express it convincingly.

[@alanbeavan6229]

Watto's always last in lol

[@Drhiggythered]

the category was no more names where you can change one letter to make an animal. you dont need to change a letter to make ox. or fox

[@JanG_GC]

Horne did specify by adding, removing or changing a letter. When you think about it.

[@lawrencepurser6792]

Now I'm not claiming to be some kind of animal expert, but I don't think anyone has ever heard of an Ox, it must be one of those new draft animals.

[@Avistew]

It's not my first language and I still knew that an ox is a castrated bull. I'm very surprised the guys didn't know that, especially when Horne knew how to pluralize it.

[@SuperGlevine]

Claudia Mink-leman

[@DD-qq8sn]

Clam-dia Winkleman. Watto should have bee challenged on so many fronts.

[@oobydoobanooby]

It's a farce. A real slacking in quality of play. Get in the changing rooms, put a fresh shirt on, and get back out on the pitch with renewed vigor. I will stick by you, applauding from the stands. #shirtythursdays

[@totallyinept]

Watson should have gone on Winkleman. By changing one letter in her name you can make an animal; in this case, emu.

[@JuddPlays]

So, why was this episode reupped twice?

[@tracey7241]

It's so short!

[@SteRDLK]

John Paul I talking about his time as Pope

[@cdname47]

Is this a, your friend and mine, reupload? What was wrong with the first upload Also. Murt Azlac

[@MichaelCoombes776]

The first upload had wrong category names in the yellow boxes. Over.

[@Drhiggythered]

Tim is out on ox but Watto gets away with winkle - boooo

[@bobidou23]

A 17-minute episode, oh fucking dear

[@maladaptvs]

tim looks a bit like an ox, when you think about it

[@narrativium]

Would Robin Wright have counted as sharing their name with a Disney character? I guess I'm asking, when you think about it, would Robin Hood have counted as a Disney character?

[@Smudgie]

When you think about it, does anybody actually know the font used in the title/end sequence?

[@petedi-murro1826]

I've thought about it and it's P22 Underground

[@Smudgie]

@@petedi-murro1826 50 Bucks! Challenging... Penelope Pitstop!

[@thepeteachercleckheaton8709]

Caroline Quarantine 😅😅😅

[@Zolbat]

Is there a rule against using a category that leaves no one to say?

[@ajprice]

Don't give them ideas... Tim: "No more dead people" Mark: "No more living people" Alex: ... 😳

[@Zolbat]

@@ajprice what about Noah or some fictional character

[@csurname]

"Name another"

[@Zolbat]

@@csurname that doesn't work. "No more dead people" means you have just named a dead person. "name another" means you have to say another dead person.

[@csurname]

@@Zolbat crap, yeah. shows how awake I was. over.

[@ChrisBillig]

Easy Disney qualifier: no first names same as Disney characters from the shorts pre-1940.

[@AshArAis]

Or no more Disney characters you could go and meet in Disneyland as those massive costumes.

[@ChrisBillig]

@@AshArAis Even that is a bit too broad. Over the years they have had some really obscure costumed characters. But if you say "animated shorts before 1940" that allows a challenger to look it up on Wikipedia and see if any short in that date range had a character with that name, as it's only a 12 year window.

[@MichaelCL]

Key just being too nice here. Not a baseline animal. Doesn't look like a scarf, sure

[@MichaelCL]

Finest four minutes of youtube starting at 8:13

[@RustyBucket2]

Uploading the same game three times in one day? It's awful but it's lawful when you think about it

[@imadeeplyspanishman]

And Key is taken out in the first quarter. . . . Very poor from Key tonight

[@Stuffthatsfunny1]

Key had a point with ox, it's basically the ram of the cattle world

[@csurname]

It's the castrated ram of the cattle world (thus a more reasonable objection than 'ram', which is a kind of male animal)

[@themongoosedog]

@@csurname It really depends on how one is using the word "kind." Many would equate that roughly with "species" in that context.

[@slothrr776]

I'm very surprised he didn't push harder on its "draft" status.

[@csurname]

@@themongoosedog We could say Ox is a kind of a kind of a kind of animal, whilst Ram is a kind of a kind of animal. Since this has come up before, maybe they'll be more specific about "an animal" in future games.

[@certank1]

Why the wrong date , have I missed a joke!

[@complicatedwasp]

The date is when they were recorded 😊

[@eplecor]

No more videos, when you think about them, are less than 30 minutes ;)

[@Hatori64]

FAST TITLES DELETED!

[@bonechip01]

I'm with Key , you can't have him on ox or ram, same as you couldn't have doe, bitch, chick etc.

[@pidgsaints]

this game was, when you think about it, the worst so far

[@babyisaacthomas1007]

These guys drink a lot.