Sex Is Awkward - You Can Sit With Us Ep. 4

[@caithenry8429]

I didn't think I could admire Maggie more, then she brings up asexuality and consent. A queen!

[@luisafernanda6821]

As an asexual i was so happy!

[@sukhk6452]

Same

[@madeleineadkins2905]

Same I was so excited!!

[@alyssao146]

And Rachel, she went off😊

[@jenav1ve]

I love Maggie and I'm asexual :,)

[@snc9035]

Honestly hearing women talk about stuff without being interrupted by men trying to be funny is so refreshing.

[@Mikibear222]

So true - but I do enjoy the Try Guys trying to be funny, that’s why we’re all here right?

[@madgirllolly]

Agreed!

[@snc9035]

It's not just the jokes though. I feel like so many times whenever a woman tries to speak about her own experiences, men interrupt to show their support of what the woman is saying and in the process take over or derail the conversation from what was originally being talked about. Of course not everyone is like that. I don't mean to generalize. But it does happen a lot. It's beautiful to see women talk without having to fight for the opportunity to speak.

[@bmckong]

I appreciate that they can have a platform separately, just as the guys do, and that we can also hear from both together at times.

[@ItsAsparageese]

Women getting talked over by men is a thing, and historically was worse than it is now, but I get really frustrated seeing the idea perpetuated that this is somehow a gendered phenomenon. The amount that I see women also shout down men and correct men about their own experiences is also really excessive and I've seen that get pretty bad over the last 20 in years in particular with some women being highly reactionary and acting like it's some kind of positive or "fair" thing for them to subject men to deplatforming and condescending correction and all sorts of things people commonly like to pretend all-men-and-only-men do. I think it's dandy to celebrate people having their own space to share ideas regardless of who those people are. I'm happy for viewers who have had a lack of seeing women speak freely, totally, I get that some people haven't had a lot of even-handed exposure to that. but I think it's dangerous for society to tread on the edge of perpetuating one-sided ideas about rudeness or attention-diverting being a gendered issue, because it really isn't, and when people choose to believe that sort of thing is a Factually Gendered Issue In An Immutable Way, that dogma leads to the justifications used by those who get reactionary and sexist about it. So yeah, it's super positive to have spaces where women we like talk freely, but as long as we perpetuate this idea that women don't get to talk freely when men are around, we're perpetuating sexism and practicing nasty low expectations of men and acting like women are immune from those behaviors. It ends up pedestalizing women and just making an icky sexist cycle. I wish people would get better at using rhetoric that celebrates women without either overtly or implicitly opposing it to villainized exaggerations about men. That phenomenon isn't as bad as it was around ten years ago because more people have caught on to how toxic the rhetoric gets when logically extended, so more and more mainstream feminists are pruning out some of that bias, but it's still a really insidious thing. (Inb4 the possibility of some reader going off with a privilege rant at me, I'm a chick and I've been pointing out double standards about this for over a decade. If some reader reads the above statements and automatically assumes I must be a male due to pointing out a concern about double standards and generally going against the grain of the "men villains, women victims" narrative, then that reaction just validates my point about some -- not all, but some -- feminists having problematic anti-male bias and refusing to view things objectively.)

[@aidaja7708]

Ariel: "It was about the guy having sex" and all the woman nodding simultaneously is just sad. We all know excactly what she means.

[@homehelpheart7440]

Yep

[@sachikuwahara5460]

Exactly

[@zerosashes]

What time in the video?

[@aidaja7708]

@@zerosashes Starts at 34:00

[@kittycat6524]

Accurate

[@Jennymayg13]

Teach your kids the correct names for their anatomy. As a sex-ed professional we train teachers how to teach sex ed in schools and we have to tell the story about the girl who referred to her vulva as a cookie. She went to school one day and told the teacher that her uncle had touched her cookie, and the teacher brushed it off. Then a few weeks later the mum told the teacher that she had a cut on her cookie so may be uncomfortable when she goes to the bathroom, and that's when the teacher realised that child had divulged that she had been sexually abused.

[@awushuful]

Commenting to signal boost this. At the very least they’ll be pros at anatomy when they grow up, saying glutes instead of butt.

[@blablabladuda]

PERIOD!!!

[@dawn7759]

yes! i’ve heard this story and i get so upset when i hear someone teaches their kid to say that. they won’t know if their kid is being sexually abused if they don’t teach the correct words.

[@TheShannonBobannon]

Heartbreaking

[@rachelfrancis1990]

Literally the story I heard right before I had my first kid. Adam has never known a term other than “penis” and my daughter will learn in the same manner.

[@kimberlyk2172]

Something I wish I learned in school: Sexual assault does not only look like rape (e.g., coercion, stealthing, etc.).

[@leaharmbruster6047]

THIS^^

[@lightheartify]

Yes!

[@kateedwards372]

THIS^^^^^

[@willowpoulin6413]

Yes👏👏

[@caithawkins2738]

THIS- also consent! Should be taught! To everyone! Also that any non consensual sexual interaction IS a sexual assault

[@DreamingPreciously]

THE TRY WIVES ARE THE OLDER SISTERS I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED

[@darthbee18]

The Trypod: Zach starting beef with TSwift You Can Sit With Us: Becky starting beef with TSwift 😂😂😂

[@TryPod]

Apparently we got hella beef

[@jepuku88]

@@TryPod Zach is going to be so pissed if Becky gets internet beef first

[@abigrillo727]

I feel like I'm talking with friends but without the social effort of answering back 😂

[@z0mbiebbyx]

I couldn’t find a way to describe why I enjoy these podcasts so much, and this is why. Thank you. 👏🏼

[@MsRiiik]

Hey hey, teacher from Germany here: Sex Ed in Germany is very different. First sex Ed is in 4th grade (in all German elementary schools, homeschooling is not allowed in Germany). Kids will learn about the different genitals and how babies are made and about the period (and products) and the female cycle and we talk about sexual abuse (which is important so kids can understand what is done to them and that this is not right and learn where they can seek help). In many elementary schools they learn about being gay and trans and that this is something totally normal (this is mandatory in the state of "Baden-Württemberg" for example). Than there are more sex Ed in grades 6 and 8 (I think, not sure) where you talk more about diseases and about consent and safe sex (always use condoms if you are not in a relationship, even if you are on the pill... ). So, in Germany we are aware that many teens will have sex when they are 15 or 16 years old (some even younger). And we tell them that that's OK and totally normal (and it's also OK and normal if you want to wait). It's important to create an environment where they feel save enough talk to parents and teachers about it and not to demonize Sex.

[@jenniferschiller8354]

Yes i also never learned about abstinence in sex ed in germany.

[@ganbaluna]

I don't think that they actually taught about anything LGBTQ+ related in our school. But it's been some time and I went to school in Thüringen. Sooo.. maybe thats why. Well okay they mentioned that homosexual people exist in I think 6th or 8th grade for like 2 seconds. Jut in general I think the problem is, that the school systems just differ a lot throughout germany. Tho I will say that I also don't think I ever heard about abstinence in school.

[@MsAnnaSpatz]

So I am German, but I went to school in Austria and the sex ed is very similar. Apart from the part that they don't teach about lgbtq+, which has improved since I went to school. What I really appreciated was that they told us that it is not only on us women to care for birth control. They even handed out little cartridges to everyone so we could store condoms savely.

[@quinn4427]

I wish America's sex education is like this. I go to public schools in nyc. In 8th grade, I was breifly taught about sex but it was only about abstinence.

[@uwish1144]

Yeah, I'm from Germany too and I never missed anything when it comes to sex-Ed here

[@j.j.225]

as an eighteen-year-old girl in the south with no sisters who literally has never been spoken to about this, i am... highly grateful

[@ryn_young]

Feel free to ask questions~! I know the internet is a valid place to look but I'm also happy to be a resource if you need one!

[@RachelShearman]

Always happy to answer any questions!!

[@emmakenzie]

I’m in the same position! I’m a 17 year old cis girl in the south about to head to college and how little I know about my own body and how I’ve been taught not to inquire about it is upsetting. I feel so much better after listening to the podcast and reading responses from other girls that I’m not alone in feeling this way ❤️

[@sm92127]

Another good resource that has a lot of info on a lot of good stuff related to this is planned parenthood, no matter what your stance on abortion is it has a lot of good info on this stuff

[@holunderbluetenstaub]

Hey girls, you probably know it already but there is also this great show called "Sex Education" on Netflix. It covers a lot of topics, so if you want to learn more in a fun way I would really recommend it! And if your more the reading/comic type: on the site "webtoon" there is a comic called Sex Education too, that covers very specific issues that might go unheared when digging in broader information. Have fun experimenting! And never feel bad about skipping out of something, even if you consented already and are in the middle of something. I know its so tough to say "no" to someone you love, but enduring something you don't like is saying "no" to yourself. You matter. Your pleasure matters. Your discomfort matters. Take care!

[@mc3926]

I adore the Rachel was included as the mediator for this podcast - she does alot for the company and she is also just so kick ass

[@ProtectWomenDesigns]

Rachel should just be one of the ladies of the podcast.

[@StrawberryJamming]

@@ProtectWomenDesigns rachel is the host, like miles is the host of the trypod

[@orie._.]

I loved it so much as well, it feels unnatural when you see someone and they're forcefully being silent

[@kelseywarren8886]

She’s awesome. I wish she talked a little more but I also get her “role” or whatever. I love these girls I love hearing from the other side or the other halves of the try guys.

[@sarah-mj9tw]

Who is she

[@MmeViper]

Another thing I wish was common knowledge: SEX ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HURT. PREP AND FOREPLAY IS IMPORTANT. DISCHARGE IS NORMAL. That is all.

[@briannamccray7947]

wait, it isn't supposed to hurt???

[@alexandracampeau2292]

Yes

[@hannahsezer1573]

@@briannamccray7947 sex does not have to hurt. My first time, I didn't even feel it and thought something was wrong with me. There are cases, like vaginosis or weak pelvic floor, where there is recurring pain that requires a diagnosis from a doctor. If there's nothing seriously wrong like that, then a good amount of foreplay would prevent pain altogether.

[@briannamccray7947]

@@hannahsezer1573 Wow, all my life I was taught it'd be painful and I'd bleed

[@hannahsezer1573]

@@briannamccray7947 Yeah, I was raised with that idea ingrained in me too. I had to learn that bleeding after/during sex was not normal unless you were on your period. A number of things can cause bleeding, like rough sex breaking the hymen or cervical cancer. But, again, it's not normal. I also learned from a Ted Talk that the hymen is not a small film layer across the vaginal opening but more like a scrunchy or a hula-hoop farther in the vaginal canal.

[@mariaeguchi1533]

Ariel: iconic Becky: iconic Rachel: iconic Maggie: iconic

[@ptboy18]

Omg if you rearrange their first letters its can spell AMBR. And I just picture those beautiful amber colored stones that glow. Love them even more now.

[@mayaborg5586]

I love all these ladies, and I feel like Rachel talked more than usual today so I am SO glad, she's wonderful

[@zrszrs2405]

WHAT'S YOUR MUCOUS LIKE, SIR? Rachel kills me 🤣

[@Meagan.lall.]

Well done to the Try Guys for incorporating women into their channels. Intelligent, opinionated, outspoken, brave, different women who all lead by example. Also as a side note, just imagine how much more unstoppable women would be if we learned about our bodies and health from a young age. Imagine understanding what your body is doing and how to accommodate it. Also growing up with that understanding and confidence and how that can change a person? Making myself a promise here that my future child will get that privilege one way or another!

[@hashtagmate]

That's exactly why we were kept away that information. Men fear us because they know we would become unstoppable if they didn't suppress us

[@aiyala1113]

hashtagmate huh

[@zeal23b]

"No, i just pooped a little bit" - the Yale graduate

[@rawlinsdziennik2009]

I pissed myself 😂😂😂😂 your too funny

[@girly339]

Omg I almost laughed out loud which would of been a disaster because I am sleeping in the nursery with my twins.

[@pinheadsnightmare]

Highly educated people are some of the funniest, because its like their brain throws out a lot of unused information. and it creates gems like that xD

[@jessicafindlay6061]

I'm legit crying laughing

[@rosiemichell5781]

My god, the more I learn about Maggie, the more I love her. She seems like such a fantastic person.

[@maggyhovden6993]

I totally agree! I’m obsessed with her! I’m also grateful to learn more about Rachel and hear her views because they are so amazing! It actually makes me like Ariel and Becky less and I just want Maggie & Rachel to talk lol

[@rosiemichell5781]

Maggy H hahaha i still love ariel and Becky! I love them all equally, it’s just lovely to learn more about them and hear them as individuals :)

[@maggyhovden6993]

Rosie Michell I agree with that!!

[@tonicalhoun1934]

She's the cutest thing. Lol

[@emelia33]

There’s been some cases where children have been assaulted & people weren’t aware because the children called their vulva ‘cookie’. It’s really important that children know the correct name for their body parts.

[@bartho5212]

Yes! I have taught my LO correct anatomy because it is so important. Language is important! Also genitals are nothing to be ashamed, they are not taboo. You do not call your arms “floppy dos”. Do not call your vulva “cookie”.

[@TechnologyFML]

I hadn't heard about that, but it makes sense. How awful!

[@anairivera6121]

Its so important if the case hoes to trial because the defense can claim a "cookie" is an elbow but a penis or vagina is exactly what it is

[@Jennymayg13]

I teach sex ed in the UK and deliver professionals sessions too and the teachers are always horrified by that story when we tell them.

[@driften86]

"cookie" is the hungary word for a small penis

[@elis5493]

On the subject of male birth control: there was male birth control created and went to trial in 2016 (with a 96% success rate) but they decided to not go ahead with it's manufacture as so many men were dropping out of the trial due to side effects. the most common side effect was acne, which was pretty severe in some cases, as well as mood swings. One of the men developed severe depression and another tried to commit su*cide so they cut the study short. Although these side effects are super common for womens birth control, they decided it wasn't worth it for male birth control because they don't have any health risks associated with getting someone pregnant. vs women who could be at risk if they fall pregnant. So there we go, the more you know.

[@primeprover]

The problem is that for that trial the comparison was against placebo. Improvements to female birth control compare with current birth control. Standards for side effects were far more lax back when it was developed for women.

[@princessfaith925]

Maggie bringing up folklore not even a minute into the podcast is a whole mood

[@Lindseyisloony]

Oh? And what mood is that?

[@maxwellmccoy1815]

SAME

[@meredith_anne_with_an_e9957]

Love love LOVE hearing women talk about this sort of thing openly, comfortably, and positively.

[@Cynd911]

Me too! I don’t even talk this openly with my best friends.

[@evgeniap8608]

The energies of these four women are so different, but soooooo perfect for each other. I love listening to them. Just wonderful, kind, empathetic women who listen and not interrupt, who understand each other and accept different opinions. Love this

[@bobgavemeabiscut]

“Sex Ed was Health class by a gym teacher.” I’m glad Becky pointed that out. I am currently in high school in Illinois (although it’s catholic school) and that’s what it was like for us.

[@FluffieXStarshine]

Ours was by the school librarian. But your parents had to send in a permission slip to let you go.

[@永学]

I am already in uni and sadly we never got sex-ed. We did study contraceptive methods in middle school, however they were only "a list" as if it was any other topic. We just classified them and never heard of them after the exam. We never talked about consent, relationships and those things. I would have loved to have a detailed talk about what sex was and its intricacies. My only source basically was just some guys talking about porn.

[@april-leigh19]

Ours was the driver's ed teacher in high school

[@minialane9282]

I am a female in 7th grade and because school is back I am taking health and it is taught by a male gym teacher and I am one of 3 female in a class of 11 and it is so uncomfortable.

[@notavailable1174]

all the health classes around me (i live in missouri) regardless if it’s public or private are taught by gym teachers and they all also incorporate sex ed. my teacher was great, he was open and honest and he really stood for empowering women without sounding demeaning towards the boys. he even said he understands probably half the class lost their virginity already and that there was nothing wrong with that, he just wished us to be safe and be considerate. we also watched a video about a man talking about consent, and i thought the class was one of the best that year. i was a freshman

[@JoseW21]

Man, my little ace heart just melted when Maggie said that Asexuality should be taught about in sex ed 🖤🤍💜

[@reaganreynolds4]

I’m so glad you had that moment and I rejoiced with you!! Represent!!

[@morriganja354]

Would be good if they could teach you that asexuality can be caused by antidepressants as that's usually what's really going on.

[@apathysatragedy3114]

It can be caused by antidepressants, but speaking as an aro/ace who has never taken prescription meds (outside of antibiotics) some people are just born asexual and/or aromantic. I do fully agree that people should be told the asexuality can be a side effect of antidepressants, though. It seems cruel to me that people aren't made aware of that before they're given antidepressants.

[@JoseW21]

@@morriganja354 Are you sure that's not just a decrease in your sex drive. I'm ace and have never been on antidepressants so I'm 100% sure that's not the case for me and never heard of antidepressants causing asexuality in ace communities. Lowered sex drive ≠ Asexuality.

[@andreadeharo541]

@@apathysatragedy3114 hey can you explain to me what the difference is between asexual and aromatic is?

[@nickyluvsjesus]

Ariel: I'm a HUGE Taylor Swift fan Also Ariel: Romeo and Juliet... and the one about the rain...

[@LivesLaughsLoves0323]

Omg, I thought the same thing 😂

[@xmen4ever8290]

I thought that too lol

[@VV-jb4cs]

Lol you can like the songs without knowing what it’s called 😂 I’m the same way I love listening to songs but if you ask me what it’s called or who it’s by I have no idea at all

[@swethapirathiviraj1796]

@@VV-jb4cs sameee

[@Cynd911]

That’s what I said!! She’s no swifty! Jk!

[@starboy3026]

can you guys talk about how women having body hair is seen as "unattractive" and "unhygienic"? i struggle a lot with people saying stuff about my body hair and im tired of it.

[@megan55121]

Literally same. I am a heterosexual woman, and I have been told so many times by men I've slept with that my body hair is "gross" or "it's like flossing" or "that's not what I like to see." Doing anything with pubic hair was never talked about in my house or among friends in school, literally the first time my pubic hair even occurred to me as a topic of conversation was when a man told me it was gross. But I don't see the men commenting on my pubic hair doing anything with theirs?

[@SachAlvarez]

@@megan55121 tell them they havr bad breath and stinky feet

[@ohmygoditsjo]

@@megan55121 those men are WEAK holy fuck

[@teeheehello9019]

It's so bizarre, I've seen guys with a whole head of hair under their arms say omg that girl has armpit hair she must stink, there are definitely double standards.

[@misischip3944]

From where I live, body hair in women is considered normal. If you've watched some Asian porn, women's pubic hair is unshaven. We don't usually shave our legs and pubes. The only time I realized that American men are grossed out with hair is when I watched 90-day fiance with Rose and Ed on it.

[@nicoleb1576]

In high school we had to pair up for a marriage simulation. We had to be matched up and have pretend jobs with set salaries and figure out our finances. We also had to find a home to buy and discuss our child care responsibility. Who would clean around the house and do certain chores etc. The gay students in our class were denied the right to pair up as a same-sex couple...this was in 2016 AFTER same-sex marriage had already been legalized. I am in NJ which is a pretty liberal state ...sooo there are still so many problems with our sex-ed system.

[@aurathenomnom]

That's so sad because that sounds like such an incredible exercise that would be extremely helpful for everyone

[@leilam.g.1875]

I live in NJ too. In my school we have to do the same thing as seniors but I don't know if ppl have specifically asked to be a same sex couple who were actually lgtbq+, but they do usually make at least 1 same sex couple her class. Sometimes that might just be due to the amount of boys and girls in the class but usually have one set of boys and one set of girls

[@heeeygirl14]

I went through a marriage simulation too but I went to a religious high school so all we did was learn how to plan and budget for a date, do a speed dating course with the whole class to find our project partners, get proposed to by said partners, and then learn how to plan a wedding on a $20,000 budget, which was our main project. And if there were no more hetero couples for partners, then the same sex partners were not getting married, but they just became wedding planners with the same budget and if they were girls they were still proposed to by some guy in the class. In fact, the teacher gave the guys extra credit for every girl they proposed to after the original girl (cause it was usually more girls than guys in our classes)

[@jra3978]

That class sounds awsome and something everyone should take. But of course be inclusive of ALL types of families with same sex couples and single parents which are more common! Sounds like home ec which was not offered at my highschool. They should also get into budgeting, credit scores, taking out a loan or mortage. I know of many people who struggled with credit card debt in college because they were never taught about personal finances. I was lucky to have been taught some basics from my mom, but even she doesnt know everything. These are LIFE SKILLS highschools should be teaching, along with mental health and how to cope with stress, and sex ed!

[@mo_7199]

I'm from jersey too. It can get kinda karen here sometimes

[@allisonegroves]

I’m a part of milesnation but I would also like us to start a rachelnation

[@thefuckingm00n87]

Milesnation

[@katastrophe__]

RachNasch

[@jdizzle23211]

Rachelnation!!

[@lightheartify]

Yes! I want to hear more about Rachel

[@stypayhorlikson718]

What about Rachel Republic?

[@lilbabykriz8802]

i think the main reason why i like the try wives' podcast more is because they have better voices imo

[@vanvan1018]

Yeah me too! I think because the guys try to different voices when they talk to put personality into their podcast and it just hurts my ears. Like they don’t need to scream or talk on a higher pitch to get their point across and yet they do on every single episode....

[@720lolly]

I see a little bit of myself in each of them, more than the guys - whom I love. I just didn't know I was missing *this*

[@lilbabykriz8802]

oh i also agree! with the guys, i can relate to them a little bit but not as much as the ladies, which makes sense i guess.

[@lilbabykriz8802]

@@vanvan1018 YES! like eugene has a great podcast voice since he's so chill and his voice is so soothing but the rest of the guys try to do the voices thing and i just .... i want Chill Time. also the ladies' laughter is just more pleasing to my ears as well, sorry ned ily

[@david-jonballinger6638]

I just think that sometimes the guys forget they are right in front of a mike that picks up every aspect of their voice and magnifies it. Their voices are louder than normal so they could be at a more normal speech volume and it would read normally in a podcast.

[@lucymakes]

Maggie: “did anyone else have the american girl book?” Me: you mean THE CARE AND KEEPING OF YOU???? Yes!!!

[@ginabateman4062]

I'm 28 and I still have it!

[@emmietrainor7207]

Omg I had the book too 😂

[@imjustsospecial]

This book tho. 1&2

[@lindsaystenico5296]

Yes! It's somewhere but I still have ig

[@annafrolov3024]

sameeeee

[@Celine-fx6bq]

German girl here; I had sex ed in 3rd grade, for half a year, 45 minutes a week. Nearly everything was covered. I still sometimes can't fathom the many stories I've heard about US sex ed. I'd love to hear you talk about work, building a career in your respective fields as a women. Also very interested in talking about age. A teenage girl isn't taken seriously and her hobbies are ridiculed. A young women doesn't have enough experience for serious work or political positions. And when you're past 40 you're old and useless because you're not fertile anymore. Meanwhile the behaviour of young boys is excused with "making mistakes while growing up" and "boys being boys" and old men get away with so much shit and are still respected.

[@corneliali7747]

oh god it's so true. I grew up in an Asian family and honestly my parents are already super enlightened compare to some other asian parents. They still give my younger brother more leniency because he's a boy

[@evasauermann3564]

Also german girl. But we had sex ed in 7th grade for two lessons and it was very focused on the males. So interesting difference

[@Celine-fx6bq]

@@evasauermann3564 oh wow that is interesting! I'm born in 1997, maybe it's the age difference? but definitely not all of Germany has the same sex ed, obviously there's gonna be differences!!

[@evasauermann3564]

@@Celine-fx6bq i was born 2001. But i guess it just depends on the school. I wish we had it that well covered though. Half a year is a really great and well needed amount of time for that .

[@huhn_sepp7951]

German girl too.. . I had sex ed in 3rd, 6th and 9th grade. I think it's good to learn about that early and more than once. The Boys and Girls both learned about periods and the Womans and Mens body. The teachers were always open for every question and we also covered the topic of meeting with internet friends / strangers and all that. I hope that the US sex ed will do that to. :)

[@dancealicia11]

The only “sex talk” I ever had was with my mom and it was when I had a boyfriend and she just told me “Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable doing. You can always say no.”. Best advice I could’ve gotten

[@sarahjohnsonj06]

Alicia Evans my mom told me about sex talk like that i have to be a virgin obi. reglion and tampons will take my virginity but like yea..

[@paulitamme]

@@sarahjohnsonj06 this is why I'm thankful for the internet

[@somber.b0i]

This podcast hit me with a huge rush of overwhelming emotions. Women's sexual health, sexuality and pleasure is never spoken about. Consent is never brought up. Girls are raised on such a sexist system that never enlightens them to the great possibilities of sex. Many like myself struggle immensely to find their own sexuality and pleasure because we are told we're baby makers but have to keep our legs closed to be saints. My virginity wasn't taken delicately, nor consentingly. It was uncomfortable and something I thought I needed to give to him. If I had this video to be encouraged by such strong women just 3 years ago I might of looked at my virginity as something to cherish, and explored inward instead of letting someone else do that for me.

[@radhikabakshi9426]

You're a wonderful person stay strong♥️

[@ItsAsparageese]

I'm not invalidating your *personal* experience, but the broad use of "never" and the generalization "girls are" are both inaccurate and harmful. As long as people perpetuate "this is so bad and it never is fair and it's never done right" rhetoric, it will prevent you and anyone else with those beliefs from ever noticing and recognizing the many positive changes that have happened in this area. You don't speak for all women, and it's not okay to make claims that artificially victimize those of us who have had empowering and fair and healthy sexual education and fair healthy dialogue about it throughout our lives. Your experience is valid and you should speak out about problems you've experienced. But making sweeping generalizations about all women just perpetuates the "women are always victims, victims are always women" narrative and that actually weakens and sabotages women who believe it and women as a whole, rather than helping anything.

[@Ariplaygames]

@@ItsAsparageese I think is very rude of you to see a vulnerable comment like this and say this things just cause she said the word "never". Maybe is you who need to look more closely at what most women go through, even if you personally had a good experience. Have some empathy for the ones who didnt, even if there has been changes we are not even half way to truly fair treatment across the world. That doesnt mean we are always victims or victims are only women, it means there is still mostly wrong things happening and we shouldnt stop adressing them.

[@somber.b0i]

@@ItsAsparageese never was probably too broad of a term to use.. but I'm only speaking from my perspective and experience. I'm glad to know there are positive changes and people have had empowering lessons on female sexuality. But I didn't have that. I know many who didn't. Not only girls. I didn't mean to make it seem like it was coloring women as damsels in distress. Women are the powerful winds that move society. We bare burdens some men can't imagine going through. Please continue to push for women's empowerment and education but next time don't try to criticize the words used when someone tries to share their experience when they drew the short straw.

[@aimeetopaz]

I love this podcast because all four of these women are so well-spoken and they are so open minded.

[@swethapirathiviraj1796]

Agreed

[@Ellenelsje]

Yes exactly!! So nice to sit with them for a little bit

[@david-jonballinger6638]

And they don't talk over each other.

[@aimeetopaz]

@@david-jonballinger6638 Yes! The boys totally do.

[@kateoliviaireland4270]

My grandma (born in 1888 yes 1888) used a piece of sea sponge and string for birth control . She had seven children and was not happy. It truly affected her mental health. My heart hurts that she basically had no choice. She couldn't even vote until after all her children were born. Thank you for opening this discussion.

[@blairelliott]

"We're our own people. So, I thought we should introduce ourselves. But I guess I was incorrect." -Becky Habersburger, 2020

[@Nahimananuna]

Ok... I'm from Germany and I never understood, probably never will, this "fear" in the American school system about sex education. How should someone make a sensible decision without having a reasonable basic knowledge? I am also of the opinion that it should be a standard to discussed consent in the classroom and at home. But also what you should do if someone does not respect your body and/or boundaries. It would be interesting to hear the views and experiences of the guys on this topic.

[@Omenie_]

Yes, it‘s super crazy to me. Our sex ed here is also not the best, but the american way is so much worse! Grüße ^^

[@Anna-vi3xm]

It’s very weird to live in the US and hear these stories about schools that did give sex Ed. I don’t remember ever getting any sort of talk about my period or sex or anything that would be of help for me, anything I learned was from friends and later in social media. I think they fear talking about it because it’s the thought of “if we tell them their going to do it” which is stupid because kids are kids and are going to do it anyways the only difference is they’ll know how to take better care of themselves. I remover when I first got my period my mom only just told me “yea that’s normal here’s a warm water bottle to help with the cramps” and when it came to sex since were religious the only “talk” I had was hearing a preacher say how you weren’t supposed to do it until marriage. They never taught anything useful, I only learned your supposed to pee after sex from Instagram. You read that right Instagram, it was an informative post but well you can never truly trust any social media poat

[@jocelynnmariah2993]

Being from the US and experiencing other cultures..... Americans are very squeamish when it comes to body functions for some reason, and then other Americans intertwine their religious beliefs with their education, not relying entirely on science. So 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@faizaa717]

the try wives and rachel clearly came from very conservative places, and, unfortunately, in places like that, pretty much only abstinence is taught consistently. i have lived in new york my whole life and that isn’t the case here, gladly!

[@jocelynnmariah2993]

faiza a I feel that, when I moved to Washington and had to take health class in senior year, it was the most informative and inclusive I’ve ever gotten from public school teachings. Same sex relationships, birth control methods, how to use condoms, stds, how it all works, etc. When I lived in TN it was very “if you have sex, you’re committing sin” and a school I went to in California literally had us chew up Oreos and spit it back in to water to demonstrate “purity”. 😐

[@ltpetro]

The American Girl book is called The Care and Keeping of You. That book was how I learned everything, because my mom is so awkward about talking about sex or body things. American Girl dolls, comin in clutch for those of us that had conservative moms

[@emilygreen4271]

I had this book too and it was great. Luckily my mom wasn't awkward about sex, but it was still nice to have a book I could reference on my own, especially when I felt awkward!

[@siskykeane009]

That book was everything!

[@devjordan66]

My sister and I all read this book! I handed it down to my younger sister just as Maggie did with hers.

[@gracegavis9439]

my mom taped it shut the EXACT same way that Maggie's mom did! but fr it was a savior

[@AskMia411]

I had that book and an awkward mom too.

[@baileymartin9661]

I literally burst into tears when the ladies where like you don’t have to have sexy if you’re not ready and that it’s ok to wait. I’m 17 and don’t care to engage in sexual acts with a partner but I’ve also never experienced being in a relationship so it’s always weird to be around my high school peers and listen to their experiences because they’re always trying to set me up with people or convince me to find someone. I just don’t want to have sex with just anyone I would like to have a connection with them before sharing such an intimate experience.

[@Michaelangelo591]

Wait for as long as you need to !! I lost my virginity at 18 to my now husband (we're 26 now). My sister is 20 and is still a virgin. Everyone is different !! There is no right or wrong way to do thing. Do what ever makes you comfortable, and don't let anyone pressure you into something you don't wanna do !!! 💯💞

[@SophietheValiant]

sameee, and i am stll waiting, and i am almost 27

[@11892rosa]

Don't give in to peer pressure girl! It's what happened to me. I was not ready but sex was talked about literally everywhere, tv, music, friends, movies, jokes. I felt like i needed to do it because everyone else was doint it.

[@ameliewiseman744]

Honestly, wait as long as you want. I wasn’t really interested in Guys at all until I was 17/18 and it wasn’t until AFTER my first relationship that my parents told me that they weren’t interested in other people until they were 17 or so. Ik a few people who regret having sex so young or who are still not really interested in relationships.

[@corneliali7747]

Don't give in! when you get a little older you will feel badass for standing up for yourself!

[@akilasayouru6868]

When Ariel mentioned that a sexual relationship isn't love, I realized how my generation is at a huge fault. I'm a recent high school graduate and seeing how all my peers and even past relationships ended up, it struck a cord in me. It also made me realize that my current boyfriend is showing me what love truly is. I went to a Catholic High School and the only "sex ed" the girls got was how tracking your period cycle for natural family planning so you wouldn't need contraceptives. There was also a speaker who came for our health class one day who split the boys and girls into different rooms. I don't know what the boys got told but the girls were stuck in a room with our hands on our uterus being told to chant that we would never use contraceptives, have sex before marriage, have an abortion, or refuse to have kids. Looking back, it honestly makes me angry..There were so many girls at my school who didn't even know how their bodies worked. We were taught that birth control killed babies not prevented them. So thank you for talking about this ladies, there needs to be a change!!

[@MumblingPenguin]

Okay reading that Last part about the chanting I am pissed

[@SamanthaSmith-yu2eg]

LMAO IM SORRY WHAT??????? that is INSANE. (the lmao is just bc i find that ridiculous, not funny)

[@MumblingPenguin]

@@SamanthaSmith-yu2eg IKR if I was one of the boys and I found out what they did I would’ve punched something or someone

[@thisisridiculous337]

😰 im sorry you and those with you in the class experienced that

[@Sunnylyndis]

This is really weird and makes me mad. In freakin 2021 we aren’t teaching people about their bodies?! I grew up religious, I personally am not but beliefs vs anatomy is odd to me. I went to public school. We had sex ed & health. We were taught general nutrition- eat well, sleep and exercise. Don’t do drugs or drink excessively. Have safe sex or don’t have it at all. We talked about different contraceptives for males and females. Im 25. Edit. I also have sex ed courses in middles school (which was abstinence) and high school ^. In grade school, 5th grade, the girls and boys were split to learn about our bodies. Idk what the guys learned but we talked about what periods were and that is was normal. We talked about pads and tampons. And also that we might grow body hair and start to need deodorant etc. Basic stuff.

[@LilithZephirus]

Becky: they should teach about gay sex. Me: YES Maggie: And talk about asexuality and that not everyone feels the same. Me: THANK YOU!! I SPENT YEARS NOT KNOWING WTF WAS "WRONG" WITH ME. Well, asexuality was not very explored at the time, but god damn it'd have been great.

[@Yngvolkayno]

Same!! I literally teared up just from hearing someone mention asexuality.

[@reaganreynolds4]

Kasey Lohr ME TOO 🥺

[@spiercephotography]

Hello fellow Ace :D How are ya doing today?!

[@theythemlin8550]

IKR I didn't even know what asexuality was until highschool and until then thought I was weird for finding all of it unappealing 😂

[@LilithZephirus]

@@theythemlin8550 And then when people listen about it (because most don't learn about it), or better yet, when I tell people in real life (which is almost never), the first thing that comes out of their mouths is "and you're engaged?!" "Isn't your fiance going to get bored and leave you?" "DO YOU HAVE SEX AT ALL?" 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[@AO1666-]

In school when they told us about sex they made all the boys and girls go in separate classes to learn about their own things but then they made us switch so the boys and girls had to learn eachothers issues but when both classes passed eachother the boys were saying “Haha! You get periods” and the girls clapped back with “You get Bonners” and then all the boys shut up for the rest of the class

[@runningerins4027]

Literally my school too.😂

[@jdizzle23211]

Yep. Same. That was us in California in 1999-2000.

[@pale_emo_princess]

same here ! NY 2005. my high school boyfriend must have blocked out the girls portion tho bc he thought periods only lasted 24hours and that you could put a tampon in a few days before to "prepare" 👀

[@aussiecountry9320]

We did something like that in elementary school. Its been so long so I can't remember what we learned at all but I just remember them splitting up the boys and girls to learn how our bodies were different, though i'm sure it wasn't super extensive given our ages.

[@medearoxas7819]

sex ed literally almost doesn't exist here

[@behuynh3438]

Idk why but I feel way better about being a “late bloomer” when it comes to sex. In where I’m at, I’m basically ashamed for not having sex since hookup culture is very blasted here. It’s not like I have some religious thing but I just haven’t found a person I’m ready. And I’ve done some shit but just not specifically penetration but I’m still shamed for not doing it (by females my age!)

[@djmensil7303]

Well just know you’re not alone. I have a very similar experience with other girls my age joking that “oh you wouldn’t get it” or that I haven’t even had a first kiss or relationship. It gets really annoying, especially since I’m someone that likes learning more about things like sex and how to know when a relationship isn’t good.

[@bridgetcooney5085]

Do what's right for you, when it's right for you. As someone who wasn't ready and pushed into a situation before I was ready, with someone I didn't want to be with...in one of those not quite assault, but not quite right either situations. I don't want to see any young woman doing anything she's uncomfortable with (or young men/young non-binary persons). I'm still totally sex positive. I want people to have as much sex, when and with whomever consenting adult partner they want. Also, I think late bloomer is, as a concept, bullshit. Having a sexual partner says nothing about your maturity, and only about your comfort with your body and attraction to someone. Not being "ready" is NOT immature. It just is. Just don't confuse readiness with puritanical guilt complexes. Cause those can hamper you even into marriages, if you choose to wait for that. But that's not the vibe I get from you. No need to sweat it.

[@baileymartin9661]

I also feel shamed by certain people that I haven’t even tried any thing sexual with another person and like you said hearing the try wives opinions and them telling us it’s ok to wait and that Ariel didn’t start until college and has shared in some of the same self doubts just makes me feel better.

[@ceciliatapioca]

I applaud you for doing what’s *right for you* 👏🏻 everyone is different and I can tell you from my experience is better to wait until you feel you’re comfortable and you want to, than to rush yourself because of peer pressure and regretting it after.

[@sasaazn]

Same for me! I'm 25 and I never had experience with a guy as a hetero woman... I made out with one of my girl best friends twice when we were drunk and we still laugh about it now because it's just funny thinking back about it hahaha. I'm totally fine being "inexperienced" for my age, I haven't met anyone I really wanted to have sex with yet, although I'd really like to and experience some pleasure hehe but I don't want to rush things with someone that I am not sure of, I wouldn't want to regret an experience or have a bad encounter.

[@mayarose1421]

This is the best podcast I should be sleeping but NO

[@paris425]

Same it’s nearly 3am what am I doing ahha I’m obsessed 🥺

[@mayarose1421]

Paris Thomson hahahahaha

[@lenavr9435]

That moment when it's 7pm in my country xD

[@nicolamayne8260]

yeah it’s 3:20

[@mayarose1421]

It’s 11

[@terryalthea1540]

I enjoy You Can Sit With Us more than TryPod.

[@lynx4755]

same

[@frostyskeletons8950]

It’s nice that they’re not constantly talking over each other on this one. I wonder if Eugene would ever be a guest host for an episode. I feel like we may get a chance to hear them all dive into some deep stuff in a respectful and cool way

[@chadjones1377]

I like that the conversations are more organic and Real. When something's funny it's Super Funny because it's from a sincere place and not just an attempt to one up (or "punch up") the other person's bit.

[@megan55121]

I agree, and I think it's because I don't consume a lot of media created by women (I am a women). I work in a male-dominated space, and most of the media I consume is created by men. Watching/listening to You Can Sit With Us is a really unique opportunity for me to listen to women that I respect talking candidly about experiences that I also have. It's refreshing and makes me feel great.

[@xMaddyPantsx]

Lack of sex ed is why parents need to be more on top of it. Your children aren't going to learn unless you teach them

[@joslynreed6743]

My mom told me to take anatomy and intro to health and that was enough 😂😂😂😂

[@nicavocadobinz]

I softly agree. School is a place where no letter your living situation you are a informed person. Schools need to step up and make sure kids know what is going on with their bodies. Not everyone has someone to go home to.

[@Matty442]

But that means it's not fair on kids with less good home situations I dont think it should all be on schools but it also shouldnt all be on parents

[@vera_nika2]

Add to it religion and taboos....a good receipe for disaster

[@Blue-xt7kc]

I think, as the KZbinr Boyinaband put it, it is not up to the parents. What about single, working parents, what about absentee parents, what about uneducated parents, what about dead parents. Schools should do better

[@maryk5225]

35:55 Ariel saying "it's okay" literally made me tear up, her voice is so calming and just all of them saying, that it is okay, I felt like I was surrounded by 4 loving, caring, understanding moms

[@bobs1290]

as a catholic teen who’s so confused about the concept of sex and periods, this podcast really opened my eyes to different perspectives. we dont have sex ed in my country and we’re particularly religious about abstience. but i am thankful that teens like me have different resources like this podcast that help me understand this topic more, and that it should be talked about!

[@ShaeRose98]

Cielo Bautista I’m glad that you are getting the information you need!

[@sm92127]

One good resource to use is planned parenthood, it doesn't matter what your views on abortion are but they have good info on their website about all this stuff

[@deborahpotter4785]

Right I'm also Catholic but here in Brazil there is this stupid fight about schools should have Sex Ed or not. People who desagree have the worst arguments.

[@jessicabraud3307]

There are lots of places you can go on the internet to learn about sex. There's a really good KZbin channel called "Sexplanations." Her videos can seem intimidating at first, but she's really good at explaining things and normalizing everything about sex. She'll go into contraceptives, different types of orgasms, sex fears she and other people have had, etc. And if you read Webtoons, there's one called "BOO! It's Sex." It goes into things with consent, STDs, contraceptives, and includes lots for LGBT people to also learn

[@eza2873]

I think the best thing anyone ever said to me is that as a woman sex should not be something that is done to you. It's something you experience WITH a partner. You have power in your experience and you get to decide how/when it happens (as long as your partner consents). Also, there's no shame in consensual sex and it is NOT a sin.

[@justineglickman]

I was listening to this as I was doing my teenage sons hair, and he was so interested and found it helpful and educational! He actually had some very good questions for me as well. So Thank You!

[@megan55121]

This is awesome! Thanks for sharing! (Both this story with us in the comments, and this podcast episode with your son)

[@FlagCutie]

That is so cool! Also, thanks for doing your part raising a decent human!

[@ivyrose5153]

Justine Glickman what were his questions? This can be important for adults too, or other parents who don’t know what their kids may be thinking about.

[@cheddarharpy]

I wish they would teach kids that not wanting children but still wanting or not wanting to have sec is valid. Normalize women and couples who chose to get married or stay together for a long time that do not want kids. Normalize and allow women who don't want kids to be able to choose to get their tubes tied and what have you regardless of their marriage status and if they've had children before bc men are allowed vasectomies even if they're not married or childless, why the eff can't women? Normalize that women are not just here to procreate and be your stay at home unpaid maids and a subspecies to men. Motherhood and parenthood is just not meant for some people bruh

[@Lindseyisloony]

......This is a problem?? I've literally never heard anybody who's not a delusional religious fundamentalist even come close to implying that sex is only normal for people who want children. Do you live somewhere extremely conservative??

[@cheddarharpy]

@@Lindseyisloony bible belt my friend bible belt 🗿

[@morningeve_]

​@@Lindseyisloony I would say it's also about constant microaggression which often builds up. It's hard for young women to get their tubes tied because their doctors think they're too young to decide and are going to want kids. Parents, friends, strangers might innocently but persistently ask when a woman is going to get pregnant. Not to mention elsewhere in the world (and in the USA), there's the problem of forced pregnancy and reproductive coercion.

[@briannamccray7947]

@@Lindseyisloony No this happens a lot when women get their tubes tied. Doctors often discourage or wont do it if they're not married and have no children

[@ZeinaIan]

There are way more studies on erectile dysfunction than PMS, when like 19% of men have ED and 90% of women have some form of PMS. The system is against women and our pain. Some poor women have to suffer through endometriosis, which is so horribly painful but men not being able to get an erection matters more apparently. 😑

[@永学]

I do think that research on PMS is important and should be talked about. I also think that studies in prostate cancer are lacking. The number of breast cancer studies is about twice the number of prostate cancer studies and men and women suffer from them in similar percentages. Clearly, it is not a fault of the medical system itself. Its a funding issue that we should urgently address. I would be glad if I could choose to redirect the 100% of my taxes to research funds.

[@heyoitsme2416]

@@永学 while I do agree with you that prostate cancer needs more research, it does make sense that breast cancer has more studies done on it. The survival rate of prostate cancer is amazing, and most of the time it is caught and can be cured fairly quick. The 5-year survival rate for most men with local or regional prostate cancer is nearly 100%. For men diagnosed with prostate cancer that has spread to other parts of the body, the 5-year survival rate is 31%. The 10-year survival rate for local, regional, and distant prostate cancer combined is 98%. Prostate cancer is the most common cancer among men, except for skin cancer. This year, an estimated 191,930 men in the United States will be diagnosed with prostate cancer. Source: www.cancer.net/cancer-types/prostate-cancer/statistics The average 5-year survival rate for women with non-metastatic invasive breast cancer is 91%. The average 10-year survival rate for women with invasive breast cancer is 84%. If the cancer has spread to the regional lymph nodes, the 5-year survival rate is 86%. If the cancer has spread to a distant part of the body, the 5-year survival rate is 27%. More women are diagnosed with breast cancer than any other type of cancer, besides skin cancer. This year, an estimated 276,480 women in the United States will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer, and 48,530 women will be diagnosed with non-invasive (in situ) breast cancer. An estimated 2,620 men in the United States will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer. (estimated total of 327,630). It is estimated that 42,690 deaths (42,170 women and 520 men) from breast cancer will occur this year. Even if the survival rate percentages are pretty similar, breast cancer is almost twice as common. Source: www.cancer.net/cancer-types/breast-cancer/statistics#:~:text=The%20average%205%2Dyear%20survival,with%20breast%20cancer%20is%2099%25. Obviously, cancer is awful in all it's different forms and types. Cancer is cancer. But the reason that breast cancer is researched more is simply because the chances of survival are slightly lower, and it's more common. Obviously though, prostate cancer does need more research. My grandfather was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few years ago, and now he also had skin cancer. We don't know if the prostate cancer spread to the skin or if it's unrelated. So I of course want more research done for prostate cancer. I just think it's also safe to say that there is definitely a good reason breast cancer has been researched more. I don't want to start a fight or argument, so please don't think I'm saying any of this to be rude or condescending!!! I genuinely just want to discuss the reasons and statistics behind why breast cancer was more studied. And I agree, the funding needs to be fixed. These are awful, deadly diseases, and cancer takes so many lives every day. I lost many friends and family members to all different forms. I truly hope one day, even if we never find a "cure", we can at least improve the quality of life of those diagnosed with them, and raise the survival rate

[@永学]

​@@heyoitsme2416 So I went up and grouped the statistics we can compare (left out the not comparable at the end) : Statistic - Prostate cancer - Breast cancer •Diagnosed (invasive+non invasive) - 191,930 (combined*) - 276,480(+2620 men)+48,530 •5 year (local) survival rate - nearly 100% - 99% •5 year (distant) - 31% - 27% •Patients - +3 million - +3.8 million •Deaths this year - 33,330 - 42,690 *The source doesn't mention individual numbers. So for every 1 diagnosis of prostate cancer, there are 1.7 diagnoses of breast cancer. And for every 1 death of prostate cancer, there are 1.28 deaths of breast cancer. Something smells fishy there, doesn't it? Lets divide 33,330/3 million and 42,690/3.8 million 0.01111 and 0.01123 accordingly. That means that in overall percentages of the total populations, the death rate of those communities is very similar (1% difference). But lets account for absolutes, 28% more. So, the only factor that seems to require more attention is patient population and breast cancer only affects 26% more, failing to account for double the studies. The fact that diagnosis is 70% higher is because screening for it is pushed much more, and it doesn't seem to directly correlate with the populations (if diagnosis were 70% higher because 70% more people suffered from it, then the population should also be 70% bigger, but it is not). So, the populations that suffers from it would account for 26% and combined with 28% difference in deaths (absolutes, as percentages would suggest a 1% difference) would explain an output of 54% more studies (that is if you use a sum). That leaves 46% unexplained. The intention of my comments isn't to antagonize breast cancer research, far from it. I'm all for more research. The point I was trying to make with my original comment is that some illnesses are more know than others and that the effort done in a specific one is a product of many many factors. I also wanted to dispel the idea that "The system is against women and our pain". It isn't that "men not being able to get an erection matters more apparently" but that the grants are simply not enough, and when that happens its only natural that professional would be pushed for better paying endeavors (in this case, I guess the market for ED pills is bigger (or has bigger ROI) than that of a specific PMS treatment, but I'm not sure). I just wanted to point out that the issue is funding, not some horrible researchers that are out to make women suffer. Just looking at any 2 illnesses, comparing them and saying "this means more research for men/women" instead of "this means funding for x is low" is pretty bad if you ask me. As for the section about treatment and cure, I'm all for it and share your view. It is truly sad that we are living in what seems to be the epitome of knowledge and yet it is not enough to scare away awful illnesses such as cancer. Statistics left out because they can't be directly compared - •5 year survival rate for non-metastatic invasive breast cancer - 91% Couldn't be compared because prostate cancer data does not mention non-metastatic invasive cancers (in fact, the article doesn't mention "metastatic" or "metastasis"). •10-year survival rate for local, regional, and distant prostate cancer combined is 98% Couldn't be compared because it combines the percentage and doesn't provide for the individual percentages. •The average 10-year survival rate for women with invasive breast cancer is 84% We don't have the corresponding percentage for prostate cancer. •If the [breast] cancer has spread to the regional lymph nodes, the 5-year survival rate is 86% No mention of something similar in the prostate cancer article.

[@永学]

@Gianna Carter I hope you now receive an adequate treatment and that your life quality increases ( I dunno how you fared these 18 months, but I hope it gets better.) Also hope you don't get those big fertility issues.

[@laurenskee2665]

So you can break down other peoples problems because you're butt hurt that (something men have no inclusion in on far as research) no one is paying attention to you?

[@OGxMINI]

I’m a 25 year old straight white male and I cannot get enough of this podcast. Love you girls!

[@Emily-ml3sm]

Don’t Read My Profile Pic, no hate, but I feel like (In my experience) people who have been a part of a minority people understand a bit more and can relate to other minorities. So even if the minorities are like being African American and being gay, they can kinda understand each other and the basis of being a minority. While the actual specifics might be different, they share similar experiences and similar economic and social beliefs. And while I’m not saying all majorities are bad or not understanding, I feel as though it’s a common theme that majorities don’t understand the life of being a minority, and sometimes they won’t try to figure out what it’s like either. So what I’m saying is that being a straight is part of the majority, male: majority, and white: majority. So the fact that this person is trying to reach out and learn other view points is really nice, which is why this person might have put that they were white. Sorry for the long paragraph, it’s like 1 am and I felt the need to type a lot Also no hate just spreading my opinion 💛💛

[@_IVXX]

@@elvisionario9466 mentioning your race isn't creating and racial division. I'm assuming he mentioned it cause most would assume he wouldn't want to sit around and watch women talking high school for damn near 50min. Even my black ass can see the comment wasn't meant to flex on his whiteness like a badge of honor. Please don't use BLM to shut down people for mentioning their race. The fight is for blacks and other poc to the same equality and rights with out having to feel like society has placed a target on their back. Not to shut up people for mentioning things you'd rather them not.

[@sasaazn]

@@_IVXX exactly!! We have to acknowledge that we're all different "colors" and backgrounds and that being difference isn't a bad things, our differences are what make us unique and beautiful! I don't like the idea of "not seeing any race because we're all the same". Also it's nice because many cis heterosexual white men aren't opened to the struggles of different groups of people as it doesn't affect them and it's nice to see support from some of them who aren't closed minded.

[@11892rosa]

That's great dude! I hope this talk gives you understanding of what women think, feel, have to go through, and helps you emphasize with the women in your life!

[@billystokes3917]

Why is it important to tell them your age? Or your sexual orientation? Or your skin colour? Oh wait it's not. It just sounds extremely weird

[@zoet1523]

i really appreciate ariel’s openness with waiting until college, i feel the same way she did (i’m a senior in highschool) and i’m happy i’m not alone in being a bit of a late bloomer. love this podcast ladies! super empowering to listen to!

[@bela1995100]

Trust me on this. Not a late bloomer. Lot of people wait til 20's and more

[@zerocraic3966]

Girl I don’t know anyone who had sex in high school that was having good or enjoyable sex. I had a libido but no interest in sex til I was in college too. No regrets. Have always had a great sex life

[@KBerry-ug5zx]

"People say 'WE got pregnant,' so why can't you say 'WE got a vasectomy'?" Normalize it.

[@ninaasf-ck]

😂 it's always bothered me that men want to pretend like they're pregnant. Like no, it's her life at risk, not yours, sit down and shut up.

[@kellyd6224]

My boyfriend got a vasectomy while we were together. Even people in my age group (25 at the time) thought it was going to ruin his hormone level *face palm* and do a bunch of other horrible things. Men should feel okay talking about vasectomies and all these false facts shouldn’t be spread around. We have a long road of education in many sex ed camps (for young and old) .

[@DShaker24]

I still think it's stupid saying it "we got pregnant'. No. Your wife/girlfriend/that random girl you slept with got pregnant. You got her pregnant, but you didn't get pregnant together.

[@jaya5848]

whats a vasectomy lol

[@TheLemonddd]

@@SaurabhsamAbraham24 it's not a "tubectomy" you're absolutely right about everything else but the actual scientific word is tubal ligation not tubectomy.

[@whish67]

It's just so nice to hear women talk about all of this, and see so many supportive comments. I'm eighteen, and I live in a place surrounded by what I call "diet sexism," where guys don't REALLY listen to women and what they think, but if you call them out they say, "I was raised by my mother, you're overreacting." Or they think that women complaining about the patriarchy or how birth control options are inherently sexist, everyone (any gender, any age) would think you're "overreacting." It's so tiring to be surrounded by people who think fighting for equality and calling things out is "overreacting." And it's nice to not be around a community that thinks that.

[@charlottesmith9045]

A new Zealander here; Sex ed here is pretty great, however, it is still done by gym teachers and we had it once a week. We had a govt run programme called mates and dates which taught us about sex, consent, pleasure, birth control and planned parenthood. It was all-round pretty great but I would have liked to learn more about asexuality and homosexual sex despite the fact that I identify as heterosexual because I can see that this topic could greatly benefit some of my peers

[@bobs1290]

the tv show thing about perfect teens portrayed in the media is so true. it really casts a wrong portrayal of what i would think sex is. so its really nice that the shed a light on these things

[@maryallison0509]

I remember thinking oh wow these girls on tv are so pretty and have great bodies. And here I was with my flat chest no butt and toothpick arms and legs. Then one day my brother pointed out that the teenagers on tv shows were actually twenty somethings. Who were wearing stuffed bras or had implants. And they shadow in abs they use spray on tan capped teeth and a ton of makeup. He told me see them in person without all that junk on. And chances are they look nothing even close to the way they look on tv. That was the day he became my friend instead of just my mean big brother

[@maeberry]

A little sex ed history: “The earliest forms of birth control, as well as abortion, were found in Ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia as far back as 1850 BC. Papyrus scrolls were found to contain directions on how to make birth control, using honey, acacia leaves, and also lint as a form of cervical cap to prevent sperm from entering the womb.”

[@dagmarland]

You forgot crocodile dung. That was used too.

[@ivyrose5153]

Or onions used as a pregnancy test

[@shae113]

And Ancient Rome (I think) used a plant that was so effective as birth control that they used it until it went extinct!

[@eurie1383]

In shadowhunters, Alec and Magnus started laughing over the fact alec couldn’t get his shoes off and that’s the best representation of sex I’ve seen

[@cecefernandes5657]

I love that scene. It's all so sweet and wholesome and they fumble but they laugh through it😭💜

[@harperandrea4462]

Oh Maleeec.

[@noelponder3995]

Magnus and Alec are icons

[@Mikazuki_augus544]

Yes!!!! 😍😍😍

[@user-fh1pu9os7n]

They could just show this pod is sex-ed, this is a great comfortable way to learn bout it. Great job!

[@MrsHelloloser23]

Maggie brought back memories that I didn't even knew I had with that American Girl book

[@elizabethbounds3149]

I wish they taught us that not everyone has the same genitals, that they look different on other people.

[@paulitamme]

Yessss, a lot of people get their "information" from porn. It is unrealistic and at schools they don't even show you or explain to you how genitals look, only drawings pointing the name of things (at least in my country).

[@kalehead0075]

This!!! I was so worried that my vagina didn’t look “normal” when I was younger.

[@aristar9902]

For years I’ve been wanting someone to do like a “sister advice” series, and now we finally have one and I’m so thankful!

[@blackvelvetchic4218]

Sex Ed was literally nothing in high school. I’m still learning about sexual education through the Flo app at the age of 22.

[@mackenziemurray8567]

YES that app is saving my life lolll

[@theEmpress13]

Yesss Flo!

[@earthstar7534]

I didn't know I even had a vagina until I got my period at 15 and was completely caught off guard and went to the emergency room thinking I had gotten hurt at volleyball. Then i didn't learn much more until I was 30 and had my first child. I also didn't know being miserable was NOT normal for pregnancy and misinterpreted organ failure for just pregnancy and almost died and nearly lost my daughter who was born severely premature and has lasting complications from that. We deserve better😩 our lives depend on it.

[@glisel7577]

I literally remember NOTHING about my experience with sex ed in school, so I expect, there was little to nothing there in the first place.

[@tonicalhoun1934]

@@earthstar7534 oh my goodness! I wholeheartedly agree, out lives do depend on it. You were left so vulnerable because you missed out on proper education. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Sound like things ended up okay, I hope

[@erikadodge4754]

They made a birth control for men, but the side effects (cramping, headaches, acne, weight gain) led to it not going to market yet.....🤔

[@amberwings17]

A friend in college made a joke about that, how men basically couldn't handle the symptoms of a period

[@mackenziemurray8567]

There are worse side effects for most if not all women's birth control soo...

[@TeaOverdose]

I read about that, they can't deal with it while we basically have the same kind of side effects 😅

[@schlambabelische3692]

I belive I read an article about Male birthcontrol and the main reason, why they can't take it, is that they produce to many sperms in a day. If you want to "depress" (you know what I mean) the one egg that a woman produces in a month it's so much easier. By man, it would be nearly impossible, they would have to take like 5 or 6 pills a day.

[@ryn_young]

I'm fairly certain I know the one you're speaking about and in trials it was basically ruled "inhumane" and has the basic period side effects

[@mwmxktty]

My mother decided she didn’t want to try to have “the talk” with me, so at age 14 she signed me up for Planned Parenthood’s peer education course. I think it was eight weeks long; maybe longer. I was the youngest in the class. And seeing how I had zero interest in sex at the time, plus being extremely shy, it wasn’t a very fun experience for me. I learned lots though!

[@margaretthym8234]

That sounds like a step up from many parents though - she went to a reliable source to give you the information. I am kind of surprised that at 14 you were the youngest - but mostly not surprised.

[@mwmxktty]

​@@margaretthym8234, now that I'm much older, I'm definitely thankful for the opportunity and information. It is a great program that Planned Parenthood has. Planned Parenthood is right; so many teenagers do get their information from their friends and classmates. But at the time, being a shy, fourteen year old girl, I was way out of my comfort zone. Thinking about it now, my classmates couldn't have been THAT much older than me. Probably mostly seventeen year olds - somewhere between sixteen and eighteen. But in my memory they all seemed way older, and more experienced.

[@nicolevanherwynen4798]

I'm sure it was awkward at the time but wow that's so smart of her to do! I'm glad you got an actual education on sex ed

[@stephc9708]

It’s great to start early since some kids start being sexually active at that age. However, i get that it would have felt uncomfortable. Maybe it would’ve been better if you had people your age in that group or a trusted friend

[@pheonixboi1]

how did ned basically go his whole young adult life not ever hearing the word fart

[@jaykay5086]

ariel so many ppl feel that way. "whats wrong with me? am i not desired like my friends?"

[@katelynnguyen735]

i go to school in the bay area, and i’m very fortunate to learn most of the things you wished you did when you were young. you learn about consent, same-sex sex, asexuality, and contraceptives all in seventh grade. probably the most awkward thing that happened is that my science teacher (science teachers taught sex ed) made us repeat penis, vagina, and sex really loud after her so it would “make us less awkward”. looking back it was funny but i was kinda mortified

[@macksies420]

my sex ed was books and fanfiction bc sex ed in class was the period talk, and I repressed the sex talk with my parents bc I didn't feel comfortable. so, written fiction. edit hello book nerds

[@jadyn9982]

😂😂😂😂 same!!!!!

[@stonedmonstera2493]

Same! It’s how I had to learn everything.

[@aaryalouise6391]

Same. In school we learned the science stuff (specific organs, how babies grow...) but everything else... Books and fanfiction 🤣

[@urjadesai4905]

omg samee fanfiction and books is how i learned sex ed too lmao

[@natjain329]

yeah ngl fanfiction taught me all the non heteronorminative things that health class never did

[@dianenaidas9265]

Wow i cried a little bit when maggie said "take all the time you need." So good to hear some validation that it's ok. Im in my mid-20s and am so insecure about my lack of experience. Thank you to these women for the wonderful words ❤

[@user-bl7kg7tj1c]

maggie talking about that american girl book brought back hidden memories from my childhood hahaha

[@raynnewater]

The ‘I know what you did’ thing is totally what I thought as a kid too😂 whenever my aunties got pregnant that would be my first thought lol

[@ruisenor8993]

Literally lmaooo

[@anikadietr1ch]

i can hear ned just saying nonchalantly that he pooped himself and ariels eyes just going comically large

[@xoJodstaa]

what what? when???

[@katzhang8303]

xoJodstaa 41:56 !

[@Morgan-sk3jk]

I'm so glad they mentioned how intercourse is only taught 1 way and that other sexualities are not included. They really need to adress consent in those talks as well. Thanks for such a great podcast

[@ABNo.1]

I went to catholic school in the Caribbean and we actually leant all about reproduction and birth control in biology class. All about the rhythm method and viscosity of vaginal mucus, iuds, female condoms, spermicide, the pill and exactly how it works with oestrogen and progesterone. Our biology teacher even sort of told us what the clitoris was and we were shocked. At like 14.

[@kayleypalmer]

your school should be the benchmark for the world...

[@sweetie1986]

Same in Canada.

[@ABNo.1]

@@kayleypalmer nah not really. Still a lot of catholic guilt and i'm not even catholic. I think it was an exceptional teacher.

[@tonicalhoun1934]

Very progressive teacher. Kudos to them.

[@sarahberlaud4285]

@@sweetie1986 Wow, really? My Canadian sex-ed was way more basic. They taught us about changes to expect during puberty, and had us label diagrams of body parts. We were shown pictures of condoms on bananas, but nothing in real life... (Ontario, public system, I was born in 1985... also the original comment said in biology class, and I only took that in general grade 9 science, so my experience comes from general health class). I'm glad wherever you were did it better!

[@dulceordonez1126]

I loved Beckys reference to Call Me By Your Name when Maggie talked about the Plum 😂😭

[@_alex_y.not_]

Why is education in certain places passed off as an education when it's usually actually a complete absence of an education (sex ed = don't have sex, drug and drinking education = just don't do them silly, etc.)?

[@humanperson5850]

Thank you so much Ariel for being candid about going into college as a virgin as someone starting freshman year of college as a Virgin thank you for making me feel normal!

[@ivypatrick21]

For some strange reason, this wasn’t awkward at ALL. I really appreciate the fact that I actually learned a few things. Thank you ladies! 💖

[@jorjarice3989]

not gunna lie this was more useful then my school

[@gustavobalderrama6851]

Sadly, anything in Internet is super more useful than what is taught in school. It took 25 years and looking into Reddit to discover that I am bisexual and be okay with it.

[@xPrincessJellyfishx]

As a demisexual, I really wished I would’ve been taught about all types of sexualities in school. I regret forcing myself to have intercourse when I did not feel it. Also, as a person who has been abused, I wish they spoke about that too. Help remind the victims that is not their fault because I felt like it was my fault for the longest. Also, that having had sex doesn’t make us sluts or damaged goods. We need the whole system to change and be better.

[@fionarose6516]

I totally agree! Like men shouldn't say that we're for the streets if we have had too many partners and say we're prudes when we're virgins. Also I'm very sorry to hear about the abuse and hope you get better. I would also like to add if you don't mind me asking what is a demisexual?

[@_IVXX]

@@fionarose6516 demi sexual is under the scope of asexuality. It's having a sexual attraction only was an emotional bond has been formed. A lot of people just look at is as being picky, but I'm gonna argue even if that was the case, so what? No one should feel shame for being "picky" about who gets access to their body.

[@aiyala1113]

Nat Tilghman isn’t that normal

[@xPrincessJellyfishx]

@@fionarose6516 Demisexuality is only feeling attraction for someone you have a strong emotional bond to, like Nat said. For me personally, it isn't being picky since I do not get any sexual feelings unless I'm with that person. So I am not physically able to get turned on and such unless my heart feels it. And even when I'm with that person, if the emotion I feel at the moment isn't love, I won't be able to do it either.

[@recoveringintrovert717]

@@xPrincessJellyfishx took me 2 years to finally have sex with my bf. I thought I was a freak for the longest time because I did not want to have sex at all. Now I know I'm demi

[@kenethy6875]

This is the first time I have EVER heard that I should pee after sex......wow. I was constantly getting urinary infections after having sex, to the point where I just didn't wanted to have sex anymore, it was always very painful. And no doctor EVER told me about this, this is really life changing for me, thank you so much!

[@nightsgrow6575]

It’s insane that Americans aren’t taught about the menstrual cycle in schools.

[@Nikki-tx6kh]

We had a lecture by someone from a pads and tampons company. Giving samples and discount vouchers after.

[@emmabridgette7615]

i was taught abt it in 6th grade *last year

[@nightsgrow6575]

Nikki sounds like capitalism at its finest 👍🏼

[@thegingergyrl455]

When I was growing up we learned about it in health class but it was not nearly in-depth enough. I was fortunate that my Mom was very open about it and I was very interested in the biological functions of humans and read many medical books and some holistic books too. I’m always stunned when people don’t know. But yeah this country is so archaic when it comes to the human body.

[@ReikaSensei]

This isn't true everywhere. They all went to school in conservative communities and one went to a straight up Catholic school. Any part of the country that has a significant influence from religion in the community will have a school curriculum for sex education that reflects those religious views. I went to public school in a liberal part of California and we started some amount of sex education in the 4th grade as a part of learning about the human body.

[@MontserratGyal]

I LIVE for Becky’s energy she is a whole mood😂👌🏽

[@michelledsilva8950]

maggie going "I know what you did" for the pregnant women is such a mood ahahahah

[@DJgirl13able]

That American Girl Doll Book is the only reason I understand my period and health from 10-14!!! Greatest thing!

[@secretlifeofamymac]

this is my petition for a new series called the wives (partners) try. where the partners of the try guys recreate some of their videos like how they did their own version of the mystery box challenge

[@alyssaferry600]

That's the best video idea I've ever heard! Hope someonenfrom 2ndTry see this!

[@secretlifeofamymac]

Alyssa Ferry me too but i’ll just keep commenting it until they notice

[@myyriad778]

I don't think it'll work in the long run. If they made repetitions of the try guys videos it'd end up being repetitive imi

[@secretlifeofamymac]

adenim z yeah it would defos only work as a short series maybe recreating their most liked videos as well. just thought it’d be fun to see the different personalities of the partners like we did with the cooking box challenge

[@katherinetripp6281]

Oregon now has sex Ed and healthy relationships required for all grades every year. They also cover homosexuality and transgender. Most of what you said you wished was covered is now covered in Oregon

[@fernmbc4013]

And Washington!

[@fernmbc4013]

Also there are glbtqi+ characters in fiction books starting in upper elementary and there are picture books about being trans. Things are better than when I was in elementary school in the 90s.

[@ryn_young]

@@fernmbc4013 wow really because growing up I did not have this and neither did my brother or step siblings who are many years younger than me; they graduated last year. Do you know when this was put in place?

[@hannahrose1218]

Its actually very important to teach children MEDICAL terminology for their body parts. That way, god forbid, if anything ever happens they can clearly state "that person touched my *insert body part*" and there's no guessing what they're referring to.

[@---rx6em]

I agree, my nephews were taught that way.

[@eloisewakeham8829]

Hannah rose 100000% this is so important! I will be teaching my son proper terminology once he’s old enough (still a baby)

[@delirium789]

I wish we would all learn about intersex people (“individuals born with any of several variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones or genitals” -Wikipedia)

[@oakes226]

This! Plus normalizing the idea that there's a TON of trans/nonbinary people out there - so men can definitely have uteruses, etc and women may not have them. Cis bodies shouldn't be the sole standard when we're specifically talking about sex and bodies!

[@lauren3173]

I didn’t know intersex people existed until last month when I found out on Instagram. 😪

[@christopherpham2784]

In high school we had to pair up for a marriage simulation. We had to be matched up and have pretend jobs with set salaries and figure out our finances. We also had to find a home to buy and discuss our child care responsibility. Who would clean around the house and do certain chores etc. The gay students in our class were denied the right to pair up as a same-sex couple...this was in 2016 AFTER same-sex marriage had already been legalized. I am in NJ which is a pretty liberal state ...sooo there are still so many problems with our sex-ed system.

[@randomhumanbeing1225]

In my school in germany I actually learned about that in 8th grade

[@xoalsophx]

"what's your mucus like, sir?" I SCREAMED I LOVE RACHEL

[@QuestionableQueefs]

Bettina Buan I hate that a dude taught that 😩

[@cadencequigley5207]

the fact they talk about consent here. this is why we love them

[@birdseyechilis8772]

My fav day during quarantine is Tuesday because of this podcast and the simplypod, sending lots of love from Indonesia💙

[@harryhartz1234]

Eyy Sama Indonesia bro

[@briiana510]

Sames

[@avanic477]

Yesss me too!! I desperately wait for both of those podcasts to release their episodes on Tuesdays!!

[@marifazekas5650]

I did in fact get the “Your Changing Body” Book like Maggie

[@angelakim8100]

maggie’s smile is too contagious

[@jordan_welch]

“QUEEFING IS NORMAL”. Put that on a coffee mug or something. I’d buy. I also grew up with the saying “if you can’t talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it” and I love that. It makes it much easier to have those open conversations with the sexual partner about what is and is not acceptable.

[@mayamurali6583]

When Maggie brought up the American Girl book I audibly gasped.

[@bunnybaby1793]

As a Trans male, it's really refreshing to hear people actually talk about how little the American education system teaches about the LGBT+ community

[@cecefernandes5657]

Seriously, I've lived my whole life not know female condoms existed or what sex even looked like for two women smh American Education system has us growing up all confused for no reason

[@moehatfield348]

i’m a non-binary, asexual, lesbian, so all of the sexed i had was useless

[@lloveshorrorc2440]

I’m a 13 year old girl who’s interested in females only and the sex Ed is so bad at my school and I have no idea why they aren’t taking about protection for same sex relationships too.

[@awushuful]

Cece Fernandes I was today years old when I learned female condoms existed

[@gkeller1031]

My parents never sat me down for "the talk," but they got my older brothers a book called "It's So Amazing!" that taught children the basics of sex and reproduction and puberty, and it even talked about masturbation and how that's a healthy way to explore your body. When I was 8 or so, I found that book and asked my mom if I could read it, and she let me, so that's how I learned about sex. It actually made me really interested in sex education from a very young age and to this day it's still something I'm super passionate about. Sex is way too stigmatized and I think allowing kids to view it as something natural rather than something secret and bad is sooo important.

[@crazeechickee11]

That was how I got my talk!!! I loved that book so much and I still think about it fondly!