In Response to Erica Mena Controversy

GET A FREE TRIAL FROM SQUARESPACE www.squarespace...
Yes! You can start building a newsletter, store, website, or blog for free using STUNNING and easy to use templates with Squarespace, then, when you’re ready to launch you can also save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain go to squarespace.com...
_________
Ashley Cobb on Lovers and Friends
• The TRUTH About Freaky...
Erica Mena gets fired for racist comments towards Spice
Ja...
Join shan boodram as she speaks candidly about race, colorism, and her recent KZbin video with Ashley Cobb that sparked some serious conversations. Hear from Shan about the racist remarks made by Erica Mena towards Spice

[@shanboody]

We had a community chat about this video the day after it was up in hopes of expanding this conversation and making it more actionable. If you're interested you can rewatch that live here

[@shanboody]

kzbin.infoG6rEm-phuEc

[@caramelcheezit6978]

hey Shan, just be yourself. the minority communities often say shit like this based on their subjective feelings. i know this because im a minority myself and observed this insiduous pattern overtime. it can incite guilt out of people when the basis is faulty and wrong itself. Then, you end up selling your soul to the community so you bring awareness to their own feelings but you end up being held back and being unable to grow beyond the community as yourself. They dont care about individuals like that and just want people around them to cater and appease them; if anyone shows their own individuality, they are seen as privileged. they do not care. They just focus on "side eye"-ing people that dont adhere to their own ideas and views. Its not genuine concern about how colorism and racism can affect someones individuality and growth. Just as colorism and racism exist and affect people, the way you're treated by minority communities and i guess white people in this case is just as valid. I fucking feel horrible for you because you're being pushed to cater to someone's feelings and they don't even care to think and consider things as much you are doing (which literally is what you're supposed to do as a human).

[@caramelcheezit6978]

@JessicaEblen this is literally an example of what I just commented about. I'm sorry to Shan because these people do not care about people. Lack of emotional intelligence, and crazy subjectivity. Woman you gotta have some self awareness. Think before you speak

[@caramelcheezit6978]

@JessicaEblen lol what?

[@caramelcheezit6978]

@JessicaEblen hey honestly, you're the one in an echo chamber rn; I see you edited your comment too to add alot more. It's not about you being bad; you're just contradicting yourself and not seeing how what you're saying is being within an echo chamber and acting self righteous. Your comments are straight up self righteous. If you don't want to listen to her because she isn't black in your eyes, what do your beliefs actually do for you? Do they actually help you at all.

[@ChenaiDavid]

All of this! An ex-friend would constantly share anti-Black and disparaging memes about unambiguous Black woman (specifically DSBW). When I addressed it OF COURSE I was accused of being jealous. The reality is I didn’t feel safe in the friendship knowing that she perceived me as inferior, and couldn’t trust her to be an ally to dismantle colourism/anti-Blackness.

[@GaiaCarney]

My childhood best friend was my first bully. She was a beautiful dark skinned Iranian, and had nothing good to say about my light skinned mixed Blackness 😔 I was a conflict averse, soft, easy target. I developed deep insecurity about my ethnic identity and distrust of anyone who who had an opinion about it (and everybody did!) The world has never seen me as white! My Blackness is obvious, yet many people in my life either assume I identify as white, when I never have, or want me to identify as white, which I never will!

[@lindseyaliceford]

This

[@astralplanejane]

Biracials and non black women They are not your ally! make no mistake… dont ever make the mistake a woman who is mixed is is not a black woman or will experience a real black woman’s plight especially a DSBW… they all believe they are superior 🙅🏾‍♀️🙅🏾‍♀️

[@suussuzy4522]

​@@GaiaCarneyIf your mixed than that's what you are isn't it? Nothing to be confused about.

[@dandelion6617]

@@GaiaCarneygirl being called mixed isn’t bullying lmao

[@user-do1qf8rm7b]

I was friends with a mixed girl in the military. We became friends because we were the only “black girls” there. Well when she got around the white girls she acted different. One time the white girls made a joke to her and said I like your weave. And she said do I look like one of those bald headed black chicks. She looked at me with so much shame when she realized what she let slip and I just ignored it and left.

[@treacherousjslither6920]

Ouch smh

[@chiefrocka9159]

Damn. 😹😁😂😸

[@Petey-se1lo]

Mixed girls can still be bald headed though😂

[@queensheba9792]

And for that reason, that's why boundaries must exist and why I recognize biracial people as what they are - biracial. Not black, but black-adjacent.

[@user-dv3kq3rm4h]

@@Petey-se1lo Tell them that- A lot of them use and weaponise the fact that 99% of people don't think this about them. Notice how mixed girls don't get pushback on wearing wigs or dyeing their hair blonde- even if they don't naturally have those features. The proximity is enough for people not to question it, like they do with unambiguously Black women.

[@chrissyn]

She kept it 100 in this video. I respect her honesty.

[@career5690]

Me too

[@cedesley7296]

Sameee

[@diedregary5137]

Thank you for this seriously

[@jennyjones4875]

nah. she's making up excuses claims that woman didn't intentionally offend.. Erika is known for referring to blacks as monkeys

[@maatiangoddess9890]

The colorism issue occurred with O.G and Evelyn Lozada. Evelyn was clearly bothered and even surprised that a man she was interested in was also interested with O.G. She melted down.

[@keycrum4218]

Completely agree. That is the perfect example…

[@Hautenani]

Yes exactly!!! I’m Puerto Rican and Black raised by a Black mother and I was shocked at how many Puerto Ricans and Afro Latinas are racists and hateful. As I grew up I got the most hate and racism from Latina women. This may be wrong to say but the Latino culture for women is a breeding ground for jealousy, cattiness, insecurities and low vibrational behavior. The women aren’t taught to have confidence and are talked down on for having any features that are Black. I look a little too Black and I have a lot of confidence so I usually trigger them and I know exactly how most feel about Black women 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@werringertonney7489]

@@Hautenani1,000%. I’m black but I have very interesting features, to the extent that every time I’m out, a Latina hates on me. I’m not stereotypically black and I’m pretty (sorry if that sounds obnoxious but people make it known too much for me to ignore).

[@ModeFin]

That was really crazy

[@The.L.Is.Silent]

My sister is a lighter skin black woman. She calls colorist light skin and biracial women ALS "Annoying Light Skins". She does her best to disarm darker skin black women who are initially guarded towards her, she corrects women who say low key colorist or anti-black things around her and assume she has the same mindset. I didn't realize the extent of colorism until I grew up and moved out. I may have just repressed it. Looking back on childhood in discussions with my sister she said she realized the difference in how we were treated as children. I tend to limit my interaction with colorist people much like non-black people whether they have black heritage or not. I have a good sense just from energy on their mindset with very little interaction. I'm not wasting my time on women who want to claim blackness while thinking they're a better version of it based on their proximity to whiteness.

[@respectfullyg5580]

You probably didn’t internalize it because your sister was speaking against it and rejecting it. She is an angel. Idk if she was older than you but she probably realized that this may be an issue for you and to make it her business to stand against it. It take an incredible amount of courage and empathy to recognize that’s as a child and take action against it.

[@icildamurray4583]

I know exactly what you mean. I had to learn how to navigate this choppy waters myself as a grown woman.

[@raysha9932]

And this is why as a PuertoRican with African ancestry I prefer to keep my mouth shut . No matter my percentage of African decent I could never ever dream of getting involved in these types of conversations. The reality is I’m light skinned and I could never ever relate to what my darker sisters go thru . Not by a long shot and the reality is I’ve at times have been part of the problem if in being totally honest with myself and you guys I’ve benefited from the systematic colorist society in general . I think the only way I and others light skin mixed races women can actually have a sit at the table is by acknowledging that it’s by invitation only we are not entitled to it whatsoever.

[@user-dv3kq3rm4h]

@@raysha9932 So are you really 'light skinned' then or more so ambiguous or white adjacent/tanned? I ask because I'm a light skinned Black woman and I can definitely have these conversations with dark skinned women because at the end of the day, I am still Black. I don't shy away from these conversations at all.

[@maijahtaejon]

Y’all have to learn that blackness is about your phenotype mainly. If you are not perceived as black you will not have the same experience as someone who looks like me 🤷🏾‍♀️ that just is what it is

[@AlexisMaria]

Exactly and growing up around black people and being hood adjacent doesn’t make you black lol 👍🏽

[@lovenspired]

Interesting, because I'm sure a Black kid with the same complexion as you who comes from a very rich elite Black family and only knowing a life based around attendance at exclusive private schools, country clubs, ivy leagues, and chauffeured transportation wouldn't have the same experience as you either. Also, since you're belief is based around phenotype: should we start excluding white skin, blue eyed, blonde-haired albino "Black" people from the community too? Here's the thing: Black comes in all shades. So, let's stop picking and choosing who's pushed out of the community based on toxic ideas that single out specific groups.

[@howtotododo]

⁠@@lovenspiredyea they would lmao. I didn’t do the whole country club stuff but I was a UNIS kid and around “prestige “ but my blackness overwhelmingly played a part in my interactions w ppl. It’s abt how much ur willing to acknowledge and accept that ur blackness oftentimes indicates the treatment you’ll receive regardless of ur social ladder

[@lillustpotion]

@@howtotododospot on! I do feel like that in those environments my poor-ness was more of an issue than my blackness though 😂 if I’d been a Nigerian oil barons daughter it would have been fine 😂

[@Appleboo222]

@@lovenspiredtrust me they do especially in a black majority country and the elites are mostly non black and you’re black and rich it’s like you see how some react just because you’re black and then some uncultured poor white English person comes around and even they are given more grace than you!

[@thedivinelife3470]

As a mixed race woman, I was deeply hurt by Erica’s comment to Spice. As half of my family is African-American, I would be devastated if someone referred to them as less than human. This is not the first time that Erica has referred to black women or black men as monkeys or gorillas. People need to research the history of the word monkey as it relates to the terrible history of slavery. I also advise people to watch the round table, that love and hip-hop conducted about colorism, it was very informative, and you will see clips of Erica stating that she would say it again, knowing that this word is hurtful to the African-American community.

[@nyecore]

That’s because she really doesn’t like black people. She will use us to make money and for status but she believe she is better even though she acts like our worst stereotypes.

[@mrsp5808]

Wow that is nuts...I am going tongonwatch the round table that sounds interesting. My hiusband(latin) and myself(bw) had a conversation about the Erica Mena comment. I was very upset because he kind of watered the deepness of it down as if maybe she just felt as if spice looked like a monkey. I was upset with him because I told him that given the history of the word monkey in the African American community that is just something that cannot be said. In my opinion the word monkey is in the same category with c@@n and the n-word. In my opinion.

[@career5690]

@@mrsp5808 In Latin America colorism and racism runs deep in those countries.

[@career5690]

I don’t think Erica Mena cares about Black Americans and Blacks in general knowing damn well her two children are mixed race.

[@thedivinelife3470]

@@mrsp5808 facts

[@braidslikebrandy]

I have a lot of mixed friends growing up in cali. It was/is really hurtful to hear the way some mixed or light skin women slip up and say racist and colorist things. As an adult i went to a friend's party (i was the only dark brown skin lady) and a guy asked another mixed looking lady why she didnt sit by us and she laughed and said "its too dark over there". I was so shocked. This is a very real video.

[@MsJonessss]

A Spanish guy randomly said infront of me he doesn’t date black girls because there private parts look like hamburger meat. You see how they try to get a rise out of us.

[@kia.203]

Oh wow! How rude and nasty of her

[@CookWithStephh]

O wow so sorry love

[@libbbbbbb]

You should look for people who look like you. That’s my motherly advice.

[@kay7732]

Absolutely disgusting. So sorry you experienced that.

[@SE-gs6gd]

I wish more people would just say that they are mixed race and not move into monoracial spaces and take over. This is the only problem I have. Otherwise be whatever you want

[@MissPink217]

agreed. they are comfortable saying they’re black but not comfortable saying they’re white when they’re both (and in this creators case Indian as well) and that rubs me the wrong way. say you’re multiracial even. idk.

[@nubeazul5963]

African Americans need to drop the one drop rule and hypodescent. Stop pressuring individuals and mixed race communities to call themselves black. They are MIXED race and that’s their truth.

[@emiliarose18]

@@MissPink217 I am Nigerian. I was told that 'The one drop rule' determines if a person can be called a black person. Is that incorrect then?

[@CyberMachine]

The problem is BW force mixed women to identify as BW. I was arguing with 5-7 BW about a mixed woman should be called mixed and not black. That a mixed race woman with 3b hair shouldn't be the representation for monoracial BW. They insisted she was black and I was a hater.

[@SE-gs6gd]

@CyberMachine you can't generalize with that statement. A lot of black women are becoming more self aware and actually feel quite the opposite. They maybe just don't tell you that

[@marylander3798]

you definitely articulated why I dont feel safe around biracial people. Ive been burned too many times to trust them off the bat. they often choose to not speak up or slander us when its convenient for them, in my experience. **shrugs** I think this is also why I'm not sure about this concept of "being a bridge" because I cant think of when Ive seen that happen in practice or play out in a way that benefits black people.

[@champagneandcupcakesxoxo7139]

I’ve seen far too many divestors usually and mostly African and dark skin African American (BW and WM) where the women will allow white and non black Latino women to use racial slurs against black women. Southern California and American southern states black women and others who relocate to California in pursuit of white males are the worst. Whenever people attempt to speak up for the defense of black women they always get shut down. I’ve observed black content creators allowing white or anti black (-self hate black women) to disrespect other black women. That’s why I call it fake outrage about Erica. If she was darker, with a weave or a 4c afro, an English surname OR a white women who patronizes their small businesses, the majority of black women would turn a blind ear and eye. Off camera they would NOT have had an issue with it. 🙄

[@teedee643]

The continued part of this conversation are the black women and men who made or make excuses for Erica, Cardi B, Evelyn Lozada, Danileigh and so many others because of their proximity to fame or friendship and not hold them accountable and make excuses for their behavior most likely due to their proximity to whiteness.

[@MsJonessss]

Exactly. But it’s black men who are backing them.

[@lovelymix8056]

You black Americans have no one else to blame but yourselves. You let Latinas into your community/space to disrespect you by claiming them as black. Dominicans have been telling you for years they ain’t black.

[@SideEyeee_]

CARDI B IS ACTUALLY MIXED. LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS. DO YOUR RESEARCHES OR SHUT UP AND DON'T COMMENT AT ALL.

[@marvettelacy]

I sincerely appreciate you being an example of doing the work out loud. We all have work to do and few of us are willing to do so publicly. Thank you for being a possibility model.

[@alona724]

These conversations are soooooooo tricky. Especially the Ashley Cobb situation. It’s def not Shan’s responsibility to infer on Ashley’s behalf. But, I think non-biracial people yearn for her to say it because… they are penalized every single time they bring it up themselves. I remember a White historian who wrote about President Lincoln’s very questionable history on race… and that he wasn’t The Great Emancipator he was made out to be. The second thing he said was… “There have been many, many Black historians before me who have said the exact same thing, but they were dismissed because they were Black.” That just made my heart sing. That must have been 15 years ago. And, to this day, I still remember it because it was that powerful and far beyond what I had come to expect to hear. To some extent, no matter what Shan says her presence and her privilege will always evoke a certain emotion from some people. That’s not “jealousy” that’s trauma… of the variety that probably can’t be solved by Shan, no matter what she says. But, at the same time, I respect that Shan seems invested in exploring these topics for herself first. After all, it’s not just “helping” others when she goes deeper… I think it has to help oneself grow and mature. ❤

[@TheBohodiva]

this!

[@DolledByYen]

The main thing I also noticed in this discussion is us darker toned/skinned women has to also do the work to not display internalized racism when these discussions arise. I seen so many black women defending her comment saying they would’ve said the same thing or “worse” normalizing this behavior and this set us back. It’s like your putting a sign on your back saying “it’s okay to call me racist terms because you were offended at something I said” racism and offensive terms is two completely separate things. Let’s not keep trying to normalize colorism and racism within our own community, I promise you these other communities do not do that.

[@laurenjackson2810]

The fact that Shan isn’t afraid to call herself out (now)… she’s gained my respect. I’ve avoided Shan’s content for years due to the fact that she never acknowledged race & color in her digests. That’s something I see often with lighter skinned people who aren’t raised by Black women.. She’s recognizing her privilege in not having to blatantly acknowledge how race/color plays a part in a lot of her topics. This is a step in the right direction 👏🏾 Thank you

[@mika9883]

Im always going to see a mixed person exactly as they are… mixed. The beauty is that you can move between the two or three races/culture, as she refer to as a bridge. I don’t believe it’s a matter of not trusting mixed people either. I have not experienced a moment where I didn’t trust someone who’s mixed. I just hope they’ll have an understanding of the issues within the their communities being they’re from two different races/cultures. If they’re half black and raised in a black culture, then they know what goes on in terms of colorism/featurism/texturism.

[@KaiCiDivine]

Because you didn’t get offended by the critics, and then chose to do the work, and also understand the the criticism was love, and not “hating” or “jealousy”, respect.

[@ms.tinygiant]

I’m on and off about this topic because I am mixed but I say, I’m mixed. I don’t say I am black and not because I don’t want to be seen as black but because.. I am not fully black. So I don’t have the same experiences as a black person. I wouldn’t want to tell someone I am their race fully if I’m not, I feel like that’s diminishing the life someone lives in their race and honestly insulting. But I have black in me yes and I will say that proudly but the truth is the truth.

[@toomuchinformation]

Preach.

[@dontme4132]

Thank you!

[@JanielBee]

My mom is Indian and my dad is black, but I mostly ‘look black’ and I always feel nervous sometimes talking about my Indian side or traits because others might think I’m trying to separate myself from my black side and that is so far from the truth so I tend to avoid saying I’m mixed.

[@JaeElise]

Don’t . say it with your chest. You’re mixed and black people need to stop with the one drop rule. It’s like disregarding the other half of you so they can relate to your struggle than ridicule the other half. It’s like a living thru you syndrome among black people .

[@thedarkam3thyst]

I hope you feel inspired to speak up for your Indian side as well some day. ♥ You're both and that's lovely.

[@ivannarandall2102]

I relate to this so much, I am black and Mexican and I am always told I look more black or that I look more “othered” people can tell I am black but mixed with something else. I don’t feel comfortable speaking up about issues on either side.

[@amberlee582]

Awww, that's sad. I have to better with my biases as a blk woman.

[@changeoffocus1074]

Do you feel nervous talking about your black side or traits ?

[@ga_elle]

A true question that I have always wanted to know is why can't people just say they are mixed and just explain with what after. It always confuses me why is it so bad to say mix. Growing up in Haïti (and keep in mind I was really young) I just find it weird that people needs to choose between being black and what they are mixed with. I do think this does not help the black community because this just makes that any one mixed with the lightest percentage of black is now automatically black when we do not at all experience life the same. I just find that saying you are mixed is okay and that could help soo much.

[@shanboody]

I don’t think it’s bad to identify as mixed, it’s someone’s choice. I can say I’m mixed or I can say I am black, I am Indian and I am white - it’s the same thing but the emphasis is different and personally I prefer the ladder. I agree with you that not adding nuance to the discussion and just considering those who are some all is not helpful. I truly believe we are seeing a shift away from that though. And I think I can sit in my truth without standing in the way of someone else’s.

[@charismao5515]

I completely agree with you. Implying that you are fully black (one thing not part) negates the reality, lived experience and privilege of being mixed). There are real issues and implications related to black womanhood - which are being dismissed, ignored and exacerbated by these acts of erasure. It’s especially alarming when those who share in racial community feel no sense of care or responsibility to center those most affected by its condition.

[@ga_elle]

@shanboody Agree 👏🏾👏🏾. And I want to actually say thank you because, as a long-time watcher and subscriber of yours, this was absolutely the most beautiful way for you to put this forward. Especially how you used this viral pop culture moment and bring awareness to this is really wonderful.

[@Unknown-xq5km]

@@shanboody be honest. Many mixed people like to pick and choose when they claim certain races depending on who they are around. That is the difference between being one race and multiple races. I highly doubt most people who are multi racial really emphasize all races at all times which causes issues of identity for those who can fully claim one race. I know this to be true because now we have to qualify black women with phrases like non ambiguous black women or phenotypically black women. WTF. That doesn’t happen to any other race of woman except with the trans community with the term biological woman. The way mixed people are cosigning this erasure is disgusting and disingenuous.

[@chr85168]

As someone of mixed race with Brazilian roots (my parents both immigrated to the US from Brazil), being mixed race has always been confusing coming from a country whose anti-Blackness is rooted in proving that you aren't "Black black" but "morena" or "coffee and milk colored" as two examples. So now growing up not knowing my race has really confused me. But now I realize it was part of a larger sinister narrative to erase our African roots and eugenicized(is that the way to say it?) the population. But on this topic, yeah I don't think it's bad to say I'm mixed because I walk through the world and receive different treatment than dark skinned Black people, plus my family history with race is v different than most Black and Afro-descendant people. But yeah race really is socially constructed, it's just fucked how we don't realize how colorism further separates us from each other..

[@itsbritt9155]

Erica Mena is a Dominican and Puerto Rican woman from New York . And yes I know some Hispanics are multiracial from history but it’s hard to explain because there’s a whole cultural element involved . Idk how this is a conversation about ambiguous mixed women, their a non-factor in THIS convo, she is neither , she’s Puerto Rican , a nuyorican , and if you from the east coast , you know she LOOKS Puerto Rican . I feel the Erica mena and spice situation is more so about how Hispanic culture looks down on black ppl , a superiority complex. I would like to hear the perspective on this convo between black ppl and latinos because the cultural elements are being left out.

[@sarahgates6947]

People were confused about her cultural heritage and Erica Mena aligns herself with black spaces.

[@TheFearlessBabe]

You have a valid point

[@kia.203]

THIS!!! This is the comment right here lol

[@lovelymix8056]

She also Dominican not just Puerto Rican 😂😂😂😂 and I agree with you a half and half biracial woman from America isn’t going to have the same experiences has a multiracial Latina. So I don’t know why biracials are getting dragged in this mess.

[@ChrissyAnn85]

Her divers license says White. So that's how Erica identifies.

[@t.twashington4001]

As a Black woman coming from 2 Black parents, I wouldn't call being mixed a bridge. Having Black lineage does not automatically make you "Black". Most black Americans have a very small percentage of Yt European lineage by way of rape through the slavery, but we don't and can't classify as Yt. Biracial is a class of its own literally and figuratively. It's always interesting to me how hard biracials (mostly and always women) will go so hard to be accepted into Black spaces as opposed to Yt spaces. You never see that same energy and that's telling.

[@kinyaa8356]

It’s a social class thing which holds different weight in different spaces..

[@BrayBray78]

White culture would never accept them but black culture will uplift them and they know it.

[@queenkahlua579]

They like being put on a pedestal in the black community and placed “above” monoracial black women by colorist black men and they can’t do that in white spaces because white women are pedestalized in white communities. It’s just self serving mixed women nonsense. Notice how she never co-opts monoracial Indian women or white women’s identities and experiences but jumps headfirst into black women’s identity and experiences.

[@marylander3798]

this is an interesting point. Ive definitely encountered biracial mem work hard to hide their blackness in order to be accepted by white people. I think we all know why biracial men and biracial women are making opposite choices in this society.

[@toomuchinformation]

​​@@queenkahlua579Very good point. I believe that the Indian side of her family don't accept her as fully Indian. Of course the White side won't either. It's only Black People (esp Women) who are expected to accept her as "Black". I remember Shan saying that if she was homeless and all raggedy looking on the street, she knows that a Black man will help her out. She's well aware of the privileged status she holds in the BC, esp amongst BM.

[@charismao5515]

A mixed woman saying she’s a black woman is highly entitled, problematic and dismissive - and the erasure of the women who you seek to identify with - of actual black women who have to live an unambiguous black experience. This is all about what benefits non black women with proximity - and not seeking to center or understand actual black women - especially dark skin BW - who experience systemic racism and colorism the most.

[@PHOENIX-ux3gw]

Completely agree.

[@cinnamongirl7519]

Agreeed

[@ha3945]

💯

[@daligogh1]

We don’t get to choose

[@LunaHealing]

While I understand your point, and agree for the most part, I do want to point out that for a lot of mixed race people, that are 30+ we grew up being told that we were black. The 1-drop rule was often brought up. And, not just by the white community. As a Caribbean, mixed race woman, I was often told I was black by white people, by black men and some black women. It was only when I moved to the USA that black women started telling me that I was not black. So, while I do acknowledge and am very aware of the privileges that I have as a mixed race, lighter-skinned woman, I also think it is important for people with a different experience to understand the degree of confusion most of us encounter throughout our lives when it comes to race identity. No, I don't identify as black. However, a lot of people may, and have identified me as such throughout my life. So that is one of the reasons why a lot of mixed race women say they are black. And yes, there are other more insidious reasons in our current culture, for sure. But, I wanted to shed some light on my experience to hopefully illustrate that we are not all trying to erase black women or even compete. A lot of us are just trying to figure it out for ourselves and trying to do it in a way that feels in integrity with who we are [culturally, emotionally, intellectually] and is not at the expense of black women, or anyone else for that matter.

[@haleydunnigan1485]

One thing I really love about Shan is how open she is constructive criticism. She is very introspective and is always wanting to learn and grow. I really appreciate that because I feel like that is rare ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@CharisMaggieTV]

Definitely

[@briolivia]

I was thinking this too.

[@TheWirelessWoman]

Non-white people understand that Whiteness is a protected class. You have no problem saying your Black but you know like all bi/multi racial people you can never comfortably say you are White. Just remember that White people created race. They are the reason why this is even a thing because they wanted to protect and privilege whiteness. Listening to you talk about your racial and ethnic identity lets me know you need to keep working on this and be more ethno-conscious. I have a biracial daughter and did a podcast with her that helped me to understand how much more important race was to her than it was even to me. Unfortunately, parents who date and marry interracially give their children work to do in a world we didn't fix for them.

[@Daijxo]

Period. The one drop rule was enforced to help protect whiteness. I always say white people always know when someone isn’t fully white. Leaving it to the black community to embrace/pressure bi/multi racial people into identify as black not considering the erasure that can happen. Ie in media when they choose a bi/multi racial person to meet the “black quota”. Phenotype, texturism and colourism needs to be spoken about honestly. Because no matter how included one may feel in a community these things create different lived experiences.

[@neawilliams7204]

This 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@sunkistbabe]

​@@Daijxo I'm sorry but white people do not always know when someone is not white because they pretty much focus on skin tone. However, once they find out there's no going back and the person will no longer be treated as one of them. It's really black people who can tell when someone is black more than anything.

[@returnofthemack8347]

Yep. Hence the “I stutter to say”. Mixed race ppl can never go around white ppl and claim to be white like they can claim to be black. White ppl won’t accept that.

[@user-tv7kh7vw5m]

Fact!!!

[@naturallyours21]

Shan, the progress you’ve made on your journey is palatable in this video. You’ve done the work and are so effective here in showing that. It makes me happy to see and hear you more firm and confident in articulating how you identify and navigate the world. And the distinction between “jealousy” and TRUST - yes yes yes. Your communities benefit from how you are using your platform to have challenging conversations, especially with the way you’re centering empathy in your approach. Much love 💕

[@JamesGoldblood]

I've always said mixed kids have a racial complex because we're constantly told what we are and it's different depending on who you're talking to. I've been told I'm not black, I'm mixed by black people and I've also been told I'm black because I look it so even though I'm mixed (by black people). My entire childhood was people either telling me what I am or how I should identify so I never really understood what to say. As a mixed kid, I identify with all my ethnicities. I'm one singularly. And I think only mixed kids understand that concept.

[@suras8984]

I agree with you. Ive been told, Im black, im mixed, I am just a tanned white girl, Im white, yellow. I just say where my parents are from now when people ask, that is if I choose to answer their question. I get asked so much that sometimes Im just so annoyed I do not want to even answer.

[@indi4223]

Omg yes this is so annoying! People are always doing this.

[@sippingsocialite9494]

You get to tell people who you are. I hate that black people do that to biracials. I told my mix niece that she get to define herself and who ever doesn’t respect it, check them and move forward. People need to learn boundaries and have some couth

[@cooki3monstrrr]

"As a mixed kid, I identify with all my ethnicities. I'm one singularly" I LOVE this, really resonates with me

[@EmpressChan77]

My nieces are mixed and I understand the difficulties through them, it's not easy trying to fit in when you are mixed , it can sometimes seem like you are never enough for either and then you try to identify and it can cause emotional situations you can't explain to your peers or even understand yourself as a young adult.

[@nnebugho]

These comments are so disappointing and infantilizing. Race is a social construct. That doesn’t mean it’s without impact and it SHOULD be addressed. And, as an unambiguous Black women it’s a very important part of our lives, especially our sex lives and relationships.

[@sd8150]

Agreed

[@bbernabe08]

I always appreciate how you’re able to clearly articulate such complicated feelings and concepts. Thank you for always willing to do the work and doing so in public spaces so many of us can learn along with you.

[@shanboody]

This conversation is not easy for anyone to have or hear. Who are some people/ links/ resources that you think are doing it very well? What do you know that you wish other people knew too (could be a personal lesson or an accademic one)

[@hailie_Selassie]

CMON! SHANNON. You have yourself refered to CHRISSIE videos when adressing colorism a few years ago!!!!

[@scorpioxrocky]

a personal lesson is that i wish people knew that these reservations are never personal or an attack on a person's moral code. they are just a way to keep ourselves physically & mentally safe.

[@83npat]

Shan. You are a multiracial person. I was introduced to you when you had a unambiguously black "cohost". Her name escapes me. My concern is many biracials gain entry and often foothold via masquerading with or as black. Then, once established, many biracials escape blackness as needed. Trustworthy?

[@lisamariebarrie1989]

I think the name you are trying to remember is danileigh- mother to dababy child (I may have spelled her name wrong)

[@aidadagodess1]

@Jouelzy and @Kim (for harriet) @khadija mbowe and @salkis Rae @intelexual media are doing great content around this space. But also, patricia hill collin’s work particularly black feminist works is great. Most of these women have patreon accounts and resources you can access including book clubs.

[@thedarkam3thyst]

One thing I know for sure, is that you are always going to come with grace, humility, and honesty. You always speak your truth with openness and inherently, that really sets you apart from creators I've watched. I continue to support your content because I trust what you have to say. Hearing that you identify as a Black woman isn't a surprise to me because I've always seen you as so ♥. Thank you for sharing yourself publicly with us! Thank you for navigating this topic in your je ne sais qoui that you always bring to every topic. Love you Shan! 🥰

[@RyjiahKG-.-]

I’m not directly mixed (both of my parents are black but I have some white ancestry that goes about 3 generations back on both of my parents sides of the family) and I definitely notice that some black people I come in contact with don’t trust me and it takes time to build this trust. And most times they are pleasantly surprised that I don’t end up acting “saditty”. These situations did kinda hurt especially when I didn’t see a difference between us and they didn’t even know me. I didn’t understand especially when my parents didn’t teach me to see myself differently. This situation with Erica along with Shan breaking it down helps me understand completely why there is hesitation to trust someone who isn’t obviously black as a black person. Being around someone and trusting them, allowing them in your personal spaces, inviting them into your home, laughing together, sharing your culture with them then having that same person express how less of a human you are compared to them its beyond disgusting and completely hurtful. In Erica’s case her transgressions are amplified because you have children that are half black, she’s on a show where her cast mates are mostly black, she dates black men/married a black man, and she was the video vixen in the music videos of black artists. It makes it seem like she took advantage of the black community to become famous, now that she is she can voice her true thoughts.

[@selena6536]

My concern is that when we have these types of conversations people tend guess their way to their own understandings and definitions when there is a lot of literature that has been written on this topic by experts, activists and scholars, who've dedicated their lives to studying and defining these things. I feel like by building off that work and those studies, we can have more constructive discussions because, more often than not, we keep end up going in circles and struggling to reach commonality. People often get confused when talking about identity as to whether they mean blackness as a racial descriptor, blackness as heritage or blackness as culture (in America this may refer to African American culture, Nigerian American culture etc etc). Some people will be able to claim all of them while others can claim one or two. It gets messy when we start to forget that race itself is a social construct, there's no gene for it or, number of parents, or percentage of it in your blood that can determine if you are black. The construct was created and based solely on how people present phenotypically, and that became the basis for how each group they defined is treated. It's quite a weak construct too, because the boundaries change across time and location. Like how Italian-Americans only started being considered white in the last century or how Shan would not be able to check "black" while filling out forms in my country. In South Africa she would entirely be considered a separate race. Of course some people want to make a distinction between mixed and black people solely to be exclusionary, but primarily that distinction has been used to highlight and understand that there are different experiences awarded to people based on whether they move through the world as a mixed person vs a black person. Mixed-people still do experience anti-blackness by virtue of being associated with black people or having black-heritage, just like other non-black people may experience anti-blackness for being friends or family with black people (or being dark-skinned in their culture) - but understandably people might feel uncomfortable if those people began claiming blackness because they saw that anti-blackness as the racism someone may experience because they are categorized as a black person. The point people want to emphasize is that mixed folks still have distinct privileges and experiences that phenotypically black people do not have the same access to. One of the scholars I read during my studies talked about actually defining blackness and how many people falsely attribute it to a culture when they are many varying black cultures around the world that both mirror and contrast each other. This type of definition invariably leaves out groups of people that are still very much understood to be black. The only constant was that blackness was a "shared experience of oppression" - a particular set of experiences, challenges, prejudices etc that people encounter wherever they may be in the world because of the way they look on the outside. Certain people may be privy to these experiences at one time in history but not another - it all very much heavily depends on what the prevailing white-supremacist systems, institutions and cultural ideology consider as fitting into that box. And it's those systems that encourage us to buy into race as a real thing: Something you can quantify, have a percentage of blood of or have a genes for. or something that is found in behaviour (e.g. this person doesn't act black). Its racial essentialism. When we start interacting with it as those things rather than the social construct it is, we remain stuck in a game that was manufactured hundreds of years ago. Overall, I do understand mixed people identifying as black in the US and surrounding regions. I know it has culturally taken effect because of the history of the one-drop rule and condemning anything to closely related to blackness as part of it in order to retain the purity of the in-group and cause further separation between races, even so far as committing the erasure of mixed-people or "bridges". I just would caution that when talking about these things we examine where our definitions and the parameters we use come from and challenge them. We don't need to perpetuate an understanding of race created by racists but rather, through having more informed and constructive conversations, come to define, understand and connect on our own terms.

[@veeayeveee]

Thank you for gor describing how I feel about this subject matter so eloquently. I can tell you are intelligent and well read. 🙏🏽

[@kooliecurlz93]

Wow, very well articulated.

[@beautifullyflawedone]

This!! Thank you

[@Ruby-kr6fh]

Thank you for this comment. Anecdotally, I have also observed that globally and cross culturally, blackness tends to be defined as a shared experience of oppression (I would love to know the scholar/study that identified this as well).

[@TyraHigh]

I hope she reads THIS comment.

[@thatcreativebeauty]

Yeah, unfortunately race 😒and the shade of your skin makes a BIG difference in how people interact with you. I seen this firsthand my son is very light just like you mixed and he gets a totally different response from people than my daughter does all because she is dark skinned and it’s disgusting. Even though I didn’t treat them any different society is already trying to push this narrative like one is better than the other, even though they literally came from the same parent 😮 so thank you for doing the work, and most importantly teach your children, all the things that you have learned and let them know that people should not be judged based off of their skin tone.

[@achankiir1263]

@ABC-uq3mxyou need to educate yourself cuz you’re displaying antiBlackness by spreading false information. Black people don’t commit the most crimes if that was the case Black ppl wouldn’t make up the majority of falsely accused and highly exonerated. Also Italians are white they don’t experience racism so educate yourself and maybe you’ll be able to come up with better comparisons between groups of people you know little to nothing about ❤

[@tamarapowell8982]

It sounds like you are the type of bw that started dating out because you couldn’t get the black man that you actually wanted

[@shreehill9641]

@ABC-uq3mxthe thing is Italians have to self identify as such. Blackness can’t be hidden

[@NoDustZone]

​@ABC-uq3mxthe black community and Italians tarnished their own image with their behavior.

[@IsaidItand]

@ABC-uq3mxwho is Italian ?! This is about black folks. What does that have to do with being black or what she wrote

[@TM-nb7np]

Chrissie sent me here. And I'm glad she did. Thanks Shan. Thanks Chrissie.

[@deee3950]

It’s the heavy emphasis on “I am black and I can’t change xyz”. Looking at her family, yes, it is multiracial, BUT in her nuclear family they are not primarily or even 1/2 black. They are are the least bit black and that is ok. It is how she speeds through Indian and White that bothers me. She does that because those communities have STRICT rules and membership fees. I don’t want black to be a catch all for people who are rejected from other communities. That isn’t what being black is.

[@Black.hole.]

Yep!!

[@jodyvankuijk]

These talks are always so healing for me, can't thank you enough. I'm personally mixed Dutch-Indonesian but also have Chinese lineage that was buried because of violence against the ethnic Chinese in Indonesia throughout the past century. The name my family carries was fabricated and our old Chinese name was erased from the books. My mother identifies as fully Indonesian and carries the passport, but purely biologically she is technically Javanese-Chinese-German (colonial interracial marriage). My father is white. This makes me very white passing phenotypically, at most people would think I'm 'ambiguous'. But because I spent a huge part of my formative years in Indonesia, and was raised communally and intergenerationally by my mom's family, there is no world in which I could possibly identify as wholly white. While I am overtly aware of the privileges I have because of my looks and my white surname; racial aggression, and sexual trauma due to my encounters with white men are not foreign to me. I find myself more in literature and art by women of color, and don't relate pretty much at all to the white experience. Your way of saying 'I exist as a bridge' is so beautiful and I will definitely be taking that with me everywhere I go now. Thank you Shan

[@glo9163]

You are a great writer!

[@jodyvankuijk]

@@glo9163 Ahhh, that's such a great compliment! Thank you!!

[@Oakmille]

This would be an interesting conversation to have with Amanda Seales. I’ve been hoping to see a crossover on various subjects because you both are so intelligent and dynamic in thought.

[@Rose-xs5fr]

The color purple never says I’m blue to the color blue and it also never say I’m red to the color red. It’s really that simple. In no way should mixed people not be welcomed in the black community, but there is a difference between being a part of and being the REPRESENTATIVE. Sure, mixed people can Identify however they want, but if they truly cared, if you truly cared about the black community you would stop saying “I’m black”. Look at our representation in the media of America. I DARE YOU to tell me that it hasn’t severely hurt the self esteem of little black children in the last 60 years by mixed people being the face of the black community.

[@toomuchinformation]

Preach. Little Black Girls most of all.

[@soniagray5734]

Shan....you did an amazing job.....I thank you for your bravery, most are either too lazy or too cowardly to handle real life conversations....and you did it with grace. Our community has alot of healing to do and conversations like these are lighters.....I felt heard, like someone actually listened .......however we must also create a space for the other side of this conversations without stifling one at hand

[@IndigoChild007]

Thank you for sharing the innermost parts of your soul with us; It was authentic. And as someone who has majored in psychology, the part you mentioned with the amygdala was crucial. I wish they taught these things in elementary and HS. I worked as an Immigration Officer for almost 10 years, and the one culture that has a serious problem with claiming their African heritage are Dominicans. So many of them were darker than you and even me, and felt comfortable enough to sit across the desk and identify as “White”. I was born in T&T and there are in fact issues with colorism there. I truly feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t know who they are, understand the rich history of the Blacks of the Earth, and think that by reclassifying themselves, that it makes them great. You know and understand the heritage and history. And I applaud you for it. You have gained a new subscriber. Well done.

[@YochanaIrie_FineAppleStylez]

I love how you went through and expressed exactly how you identify and your experience! As a fellow Caribbean person, that was not born in the Caribbean… I know of so many mixed people, and have so many mixed race people in my family, but we identify more heavily with our ethnicity. I am hoping that the people who don’t have that same personal experience with being mixed or intimately knowing mixed race people, can truly understand where you’re coming from and what you are saying. I also love how you respect what year is just wants to discuss on your show. I think a lot of times people expect us to always talk about race, and it can be so draining! I think it’s important to realize that we need to acknowledge race, and its impact on all of our lived experiences, but we don’t need to make it the center of our lives end of our experience. I am an unambiguous black woman in America and I have experienced many things because of it, but it’s not the center of who I am and how I identify. Now, of course I think because I come from a culture in which culture is more important than race, that is probably why it’s not the center of my life. But I think in the United States, where race is much larger than culture for the people who were born here it’s different.

[@lovelymix8056]

Shouldn’t the Latino community be having this conversation?!! People who are half and half have nothing to do with a multiracial Latina. We are different and have different experiences.

[@ClassyCourtesan]

Thank you.

[@pipperlue]

100% relate. This perspective is so nice to hear someone else articulate. As a mixed/Black woman the same age as you, I also don’t always know the appropriate way to identify. I’m also, more often than not, extremely disappointed in other mixed people and feel most of us should inherently not be trusted.

[@ebonyb6603]

It’s def a privilege to say I am black without being told u are black lol .

[@Mpatapoccm]

This is why we love you Shan! You never shy away from the meaningful convos!! Appreciated this!

[@josbroadway]

Your honesty and bluntness is always so great. Thanks for being authentic with who you are and how you show up Shan!

[@Techsi751]

I’m so grateful for you sharing your experience as a black woman that is 100% black but can look ambiguous at times, it’s so important that we understand the nuisances in our experiences. We all who share space in the black experience have to bridge the gap between us. Again another great video and thank you for giving us language to educate one another.

[@alyshalight9762]

I love that you mispronounce Erica's name as 'Mean-uh' because it really is fitting when you think about it. Appreciate you putting together such a thoughtful response to this situation.

[@applejellypucci]

As a black identifying mom to white-passing children, I appreciated this video. But I will not make my children feel like they will need to apologize for whatever spaces they are included in. I will teach them to go where they are appreciated, not to beg to get in spaces they don't have an invite to. Erica Mena is also not a good person, never has been.

[@oldschooleazykillz-outlawj6464]

Black identifying? Wth does that even mean?

[@luvsponge]

What is white passing?

[@jadesmith7983]

Does black identifying mean you are mixed/biracial but only identify as black?

[@JJohnson2687]

Lmao

[@misosouperman]

Yep exactly good mama! They have nothing to apologize for! Just teach them to be good people!❤

[@ariana12234]

I feel seen as a mixed person. Thank you Shan for having these conversations. 💜

[@erzulieab6089]

Im always triggered when she identifies as a mixed black woman..why not a mixed indian woman If we put colorism aside every poc gatekeep their identity especially when it comes to women beauty standards poc always claim mixed people when its convenient (naomi Osaka) but because of the ODR being black means nothing I really like shan's content but race convos I can't 🤷🏾‍♀️ S/O to South africans for acknowledging coloured people as a race cause im tired of the ODR

[@em4001]

I think it’s because her dad is Indian but he is from Guyana( which is a different culture from mainland India). So she wasn’t raised “Indian” but moreso Caribbean/West Indian. A lot of indo-Guyanese ppl just identify as West Indian. And her mom is mixed but as she said wasn’t raised by the white side. So it makes sense why she would moreso just identify as black or as West Indian. Instead of India from India.

[@toomuchinformation]

​@@em4001But the Indian side of the family don't see her as Indian though.

[@destinymagic7694]

I'm pretty sure there are Black people who also get annoyed with her when she states she's not black, claiming she "hates herself", so it's like a lose-lose situation for her. Black is still a part of her. She claimed to be mixed as well so 🤷🏾‍♀️ What more can she say or do.

[@roki5337]

"A bridge not necessarily a citizen of any one." That is an interesting was to visualize your identity. I like it. I totally understand. While parents of different ethnicities have a firm foundation in their ethnicity, it can be difficult for their children to find the same. they do not want to exclude or disrespect it but it can be hard to place an anchor especially if the way you were raised often does not "match" or is "obvious" based on their outward appearance and features. I also appreciated how you mentioned that " as a bridge you are privy to the negative comments that can come from the other sides of that bridge."

[@NeoShameMan]

As someone who is also mixed, the thing that strucked me the most, is how people of different complexion talk about race issue. Mixed people like me say "black people", darker complexion kinda always start with "as a black person" , you know there is a different level of first hand experiences right there.

[@rainicewaller6210]

Mixed is not an ethnicity or nationality. Yall emphasize the mixed term as opposed to multicultural because its not about embracing your multicultural identity. Its about being "mixed" its about "proximity to whiteness." That overused trite expression used by individuals who think success is access to European Americans

[@daniellelake7889]

Maybe it's a Caribbean thing, maybe it's a Toronto thing, but I've never looked at women like Shan and not seen them as Black. Am I weary of how their experiences with colourism impact the way they treat me? For sure. But I assume that everyone is biased in some way by colonialism and Eurocentricity. I just leave space for hope that we're all trying to unlearn it

[@Ashley-il8ju]

I have family members and grew up knowing adults that had whole Black families w every skin tone & hair texture & feature so I’m used to seeing ppl w more than one “look” identify as Black, so it’s weird seeing ppl have a narrow view of what Black is

[@toomuchinformation]

​​@@Ashley-il8juIt's not weird; it's all about context. Some parts of the Caribbean are majority Black/African diasporean, so the type of differentiation used in White majority racist US isn't necessary.

[@AnnaM4117]

Haven’t even finished the video yet but I already think it’s helpful lol. I have a Dominican friend who is obviously multiracial (as is the history of DR) and she’s so scared to claim any of her heritage bc she’s not a “citizen” to any one race/ethnic group. She acknowledges her heritage but doesn’t identify with any of it. I think telling her that she’s a “bridge” between communities will make her feel better about her mixed-ness and help with her identity. Which in the grand scheme of things is totally political. We can make educated guesses about most people’s race based on their phenotype and culture. But for the sake of social belonging, I understand why some people ask..

[@DanziLately]

I love what she said about wanting to appear good or smart vs wanting to be good or smart and what each actually entails. My girls always out here with the insightful one liners that really sit with you long term

[@ammilings]

I'm so glad you've talked about this, Shannon. As a East African who recently did a thorough dna test, I was shocked to say the least, to discover that I'm only 37% Black. I've always associated African and Blackness together because to me growing up, they were interchangable. However, in my family and community, they weren't. A lot of East Africans know they are African but get debatable about claiming Black. I believe its because of how 'Blackness' is primary sterotyped to West African features (which is dumb because even in WA, features are very unique. In fact Africa is the most diverse contient on Earth. To go further, life itself began in East Africa). Your phenotype isn't a indication of your blackness, esp with a world as diverse as the one we all live in. It's harmful for people like me, you (Shannon) or your children, to navigate in a world were we claim our blackness, whilst also accepting our other mixes, and having it stripped from us because we don't look 'black'.

[@milahkay212]

5:21 This is deep. The US forces ppl to identify with race (skin color only) where as most countries have you identify with ethnicity/culture and race. I like that Shan brought up that she doesn't want to generically identify as mixed

[@journey_with_jasmine4877]

Being a world travel, I've seen that there is colorism around the world. The U.S. just seems to be more vocal about it.

[@SE-gs6gd]

The entire country was founded on racism. Race classification was created to keep formerly enslaved black people from having access to constitutional rights they should have been afforded. That’s the history of the country.

[@mariejane1567]

no you can choose not to identify on most applications

[@deej5608]

​@@mariejane1567doesn't stop racism colorism featurism texturism all of it

[@AmberU]

@@deej5608agreed I still will not see her as anything but a mixed woman. Because she has her platform and as she said she will not be over sexualized because of her phenotype and unlike her guest who is clearly a bw she doesn’t have that liberty or same ability to be heard.

[@AmbersWorld]

NGL As a dark skinned Black woman I held my breath this entire video ANTICIPATING you to get it wrong. I realized that was my mistrust but I’m glad I gave you a chance and I’m impressed with how you handled this topic of conversation. I’m glad you acknowledged your privilege and addressed the reality of how light skinned and non black women are elevated above dark skinned Black women.

[@scorpioxrocky]

the title was so... raw. i appreciate your understanding and compassion. thank you, shan

[@nobuhleee]

I BEEN FOLLOWING YOU SINCE I WAS 17(lol I’m only 20 now) THIS IS EASILY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE VIDEOS ❤️

[@Effervescenz]

I just love her. I subscribed to her years ago. And might have come across her video today also after a few years but she is so gorgeous. Im an indian nd i feel that familiarity... But i can see your mixed genes and cultural upbringing. You are a gorgeous woman nd i always feel amazed by your confidence and boldness and beauty and voice and passion ❤🌸🌸🌸

[@Sadji594]

Good topic. I will however disagree with that person saying that you should have brought up futurism and being a dark skin black woman to Ashley. I agree with you on why would I bring it up? That's her lived experience. If Ashley want to talk about her lack of having a long-term partner because of her features and her race, maybe that's not the reason. And maybe that's not her lived experience because I think if it was she would have mentioned it. We can't put on ourselves what other people don't feel the need to share. I am not extremely dark but I'm a brown skin woman. I have had many a share of men being attracted to me but I think it's because of my body type. When I was younger I had an hourglass figure and that pulled a lot of dudes. I did not take them up on that offer but all of them were not looking to have long-term relationships with me. So maybe that was not Ashley's lived experience because I think if it was she would have mentioned it. So I think if Shan had brought it up, I think it would have been like oh you assume she she don't have a long-term partner because of how she looks? Cuz in that would make that assumption and that's not true if that's not what Ashley says

[@rainbeauxunicorn5237]

Exactly. Letting the guests steer the conversation allowed for Ashley to say what she felt. Had Shan brought it up unprompted, it would’ve came off as…”racebait-y” (🙄I hate that term). Thought that show went well. It even caused me to follow Ashley on IG. I think ppl need to understand that no one is responsible for fulfilling the personal expectations of others.

[@theyJC]

Found your content when looking for validation of my own mixed identity - thank you for your continued authenticity Shan 💜

[@gaw6272]

Conversations like this mostly make me feel sorry for mixed and biracial people. I feel like we don’t talk about their personal and unique struggles enough.

[@ittybittysha]

I feel like they HAVE to pick a side… I would hate that especially if I have both parents in my life. Why can’t they choose both sides.

[@yonce2347]

@@ittybittyshaRace is a social construct. I understand how it would be hard for mixed people with POC parents but for black/white biracials in America, black people should have concerns. They were and still are treated very similarly. Why is a white skin color that important to mention.

[@gaw6272]

@@breebubssssssss I never wanted to compare the two because I don’t think that does anyone justice. Some people just struggle more than others and I just feel bad that they don’t feel comfortable sharing those struggles in black spaces

[@lynnd.5135]

Surprisingly those with black mothers don't have this struggle. Yes they experience racism but navigate better than those with white mothers

[@deee3950]

Who is “we”? Do the work. Unsubscribe from white supremacy. She does not need your saving, at all. She does seem to have a large black female audience so $$$$ and may she address it to protect her $$$ and views

[@staywoke2258]

Wow what a video title let’s watch

[@hellaSwankkyToo]

whew. this video gave me whiplash. we all have to start somewhere tho + it's clear you're off to a really good start. keep at it! this work isn't easy but keep doing it anyway! :0) 🖤✊🏾

[@TheGoldenRx]

I really appreciate this Shan. I remember a video with Lauren and she said she started identifying as black because her children are but they were saying “brown” and she didn’t like that…. It really rubbed me the wrong way. To be Caribbean is very often to be both black and Indian, to feel MORE connected to the world at large. So even tho the black & Indian come from 2 different parents you still fit perfectly.

[@Pou1gie1]

@4:45 One of the negatives that some see as a privilege of being light skinned or mixed, is that ppl often use you as their racial priest confessing their sins or asking you questions because they feel like your identity approximates theirs while still being connected to another. For example, in grad school I had a friend who was phenotypically Black who was friends with this Yt girl I had a project with. The Yt girl at one point while I was alone with her in a car admitted out of no where that her family had moved out of neighborhoods where Black ppl had started moving in (AKA white flight). I told this to my Black friend who had a relationship with her whereas I had none, and she was surprised because this was never relayed to her throughout their relationship. Another example is a Yt girl I did have a relationship with asked me if I felt she had done something bigoted in her past. The incident involved her calling the cops on neighbors who were having a loud Quinceañera after 9pm. (I told her she could have just knocked on the door and spoke to them about the noise levels) I think being lightskinned we are scapegoated a lot for issues that are more complex than it landing all on us. You can't blame racism on light skinned ppl, but you can hold them accountable for participating in it. At the same time, I think it is important to recognize that not a skin folk as kin folk as Larry Elder and Clarence Thomas make painfully obvious. In a class where a Yt girl from Savannah, GA stated that their needs to be empathy for Yt ppl like her ancestors who lost their property (slaves, land, etc.) after emancipation, I had to watch a dark skinned Black girl follow up my retort against this statement with a statement siding with the Yt girl. Because she was darker than me all the Yt ppl in the class felt like she was the authority and I was trying to "act Black" by being "militant". By the same token, I have two sisters who are more like Keke Palmer's skin tone while I am lighter than the host of this channel. My darker sisters, who went to all-white private schools all their life, don't hang out with or date any Black or non-Yt and non-Asian ppl, but it is always assumed that I fit that description because I am lighter. It's complicated.

[@sharoncarsons5734]

I am happy to hear an explanation on "ambiguous" Black/ mixed race people that is similar to my own. I am an American Descendant of Slavery (ADOS). I look like an "average" Black American woman. Like *most* Black American families, my family was "mixed" generations ago. I am brown-skinned (unambiguous). However, the skin tones in my *biological* family range from "white passing" to mahogany. There was absolutely no difference between my "white passing" uncle and his "unambiguously" Black sister, except for the perceptions of society. They *loved* each other and looked out for one another. I know the appearance of my *biological* children could differ widely. *All* my children are Black, even the "white passing" ones. They can be called Black Biracial. They can be called Black Mixed Race. But brothers and sisters can not be identified as "different" from one another. We will not allow of FAMILIES to br separated again like we were *forced* to do in the past. P.S. - How people self identify is a personal thing and does not matter to me as long as it does not affect me. By the way, I see the Erica Mena/ Spice incident differently because I think Spice deserved to be cursed out. The problem was Erica relied on those old colorist insults.

[@lisasprovidence4572]

Mixed Woman and new subscriber after this video. You nailed it.

[@SagittariusSweet704]

She really did

[@indivijewelthoughtz1150]

i didn't start doing the work and understanding my identity until i was in my mid 40s. and i am sooooo thankful that i found community with mixed and biracial people who were doing the work. i understand why black people may not trust people who look or have experiences like me 😌 just another reason i admire you.

[@LegaciMorganImYourLegaci]

I think the harm in calling yourself a ‘black’ woman as a ‘racially ambiguous’ woman in our American society can be offensive and harmful to non racially ambiguous black women because our life experiences are very different. Although you also have had your own adversities you also have privileges we (as non racially ambiguous) will never experience, and it feels as if that aspect is being disregarded. Although you’re mixed with black you could claim or deny any race and that is a privilege of racial ambiguity that ‘black’ women do not have. However more than one thing can be true at once and this is just my opinion.

[@BrayBray78]

Exactly, I’m black 100% of the time. I don’t get to take it off whenever it suits me.

[@redaleta]

I really appreciate this conversation.

[@musicneurons7807]

Me too. B/c Shan Boody is still the sexpert, dating decoder, relationship conversation starter I want to watch, comment, and read. So this mattered to me. ❤

[@IsaidItand]

One of the reason I don’t have mixed friends. Because they get around me and make me the servant and I hate it. Not all women but you know the ones who use to everyone doing everything for. They love making me they friends smh I dismissed them especially if they’re super pretty

[@vivdash6267]

Hey Shan' I get it!! I'm actually Guyanese and from a mixed back ground as well. My dad is black, my mom is of Amerindian (indigenous), Mulatto, Chinese and white heritage so for me I get it. You did an eloquent job of explaining your stand on the topic. You were fair and you are in noway can be classed with ppl like Mena. Thanks for being so outspoken with topics like these. Your heritage means alot to you and you rep it well all while not making so that you're better than anyone else or that anyone of the races you consists of is better than the other.

[@aladyofleisure2401]

i am so proud of Shan

[@audriiiiroberts3030]

Thanks for this, one mixed kid to another 💗 I’m mixed with Native American, black, white and sometimes it can be confusing but I am just *me*. I totally don’t want to be just “mixed” and I totally know what you mean about not wanting to erase your roots.

[@tammrashell4514]

You hit the nail on the head...the problem with being a bridge is you represent 2 separate parties yet your a separate individual party. Most people are afraid to embrace both so they feel pressured to choose a side...then those who don't choose a side only want to embrace the good stuff not the pain points or struggles. So being a bridge comes with great responsibility! But we shouldn't mistrust anyone based on how they look...allow their energy and character to speak for who they are. I think having this level of self awareness says a lot!

[@LadyKpoetry]

i really appreciate your sincerity & honesty in this topic....as i get older as a non ambiguous black woman who is surrounded alot of times by ambiguous or non culturally aware folks, i know this conversation wouldn't be able to be had...you definitely need a certain level of emotional intelligence & cultural awareness...and i realize as i get older that these things are REALLY important to me...sooo thank you & those that you spoke of for continuing this dialogue because your rational, concise & educated perspective is refreshing.....alot of black women get tired of being the only voices on this topic because the response from others is very dismissive when we say the same things you are speaking on...

[@gotamekanicole]

thank you so much for opening this conversation up

[@SharayaMW]

I was surprised when this popped up in my recommendations. All I'll say is that black women do it to themselves when they consume content from ambiguous black creators 🤷🏾‍♀️I wish y'all would stop attempting to live vicariously through them, aspiring to look like them, and expecting them to see the world from your perspective. There are so many unambiguously black creators put here making videos and giving what we're looking for, but since they don't look a certain way. . . 🤷🏾‍♀️ anyways. Good luck with whatever it is y'all trying to do.

[@CamishaLove]

Okay, I finished watching the video. I still love watching your videos. I really appreciate how much thought and care you put into your videos, into sensitive topics, and into thinking through different perspectives. I appreciate how empathetic you are. I still do stand by my previous comment. But "Ambiguously black" isn't a term I've ever heard before. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I don't think there's such a thing as "ambiguously white" or "ambiguously Asian". Anyway, still a great video.

[@bellakelly1]

I am mixed and I wish I had more friends that looked like me. I didn’t realize the importance of having people around me like me so I looked for people who weren’t mixed. That didn’t go well. At my age I realize I was just a fetish for most and that’s why it didn’t last. I love myself creole Ethiopian etc. 💕🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Kk-yl8fl]

I respect your honest reflection in this video. I do not think it’s about not trusting women that look like you. As a brown skin black women we are intelligent enough to differentiate who to trust and not to trust. My family has all different shades. It’s more about you being aware of colorism and having those discussions. You are black and Indian I think that is beautiful. I don’t think whiteness has to be identified if it was a grandparent and you have no connection to those roots. Black women come in all mixtures. I think tapping into more of your history through living ancestors can also help. Thank you for sharing honestly.

[@j_lynsation]

Beautifully said Shan. 🖤✨

[@SagittariusSweet704]

This was one of the best videos I’ve seen on colorism, to date. Genuinely appreciate your perspective and how respectful your delivery is. It’s extremely refreshing to hear such transparency. Appreciate your allyship.

[@gigilina1782]

the bravery you exhibit is just so inspiring to me, truly. thank you for showing what it looks like for you to try.

[@ClassicDame08]

Hey, Shan, great video. I respect your channel so I respectfully and highly recommend that you and the other ladies look up Princella Lawshawn Clark aka The Queen Maker, she touches on this topic, Racism, Colorism, Capaltialism, etc ALL the Isms are Male Philosophies created by men to DIVIDE WOMEN. Women by nature are communal no matter our race or ethnicity. It's NOT in a woman's nature to be divisive and to compete with other women. If you and the ladies here do take my advice go in with an open mind without getting your emotions and ego involved, if you're a woman who is male-centered her message isn't for you because you clearly don't love women and want to keep the hate amongst women going. Everything Princella speaks about is backed up by science, she starts with Biology, Psychology, and Sociology. She is very educated and an expert in her field for 25-plus years. Her goal is to FREE WOMEN in 6 ways - Mentally, Emotionally, Spiritually, Physically, Financially, and Sexually. This colorism foolishness has to stop, everything that's causing women so much division and pain is at the hands of MALES.

[@shanboody]

I’ll check it out thanks for the rec

[@lnjb]

WHOA! Shan, I have been following you since pre-Jared, and I don't think I've commented yet. Sorry lol... (I am however constantly recommending your work)... I can't tell you enough how I am constantly in awe of your poised, thoughtful, responses, especially when diving into difficult/culturally tense topics. As a biracial person raised by a beautiful melanin rich mama and a father who did his best to shield us from the ol'school racism that existed in his family, I can completely relate to the analogy of being a bridge and never truly fully accepted on any land. This video has peeled back a whole new layer, I haven't considered. Thank you. I applaud your openness to accept feedback without defensiveness or self-condemnation. Bravo! This is why I continue to watch and follow. Thank you for sharing the beauty of your TOTALITY: black, white, indian, and modeling what it means to graciously practice growth. 🙏🏽❤

[@kemartini]

I think a lot of black women come from a wounded place to the point that they feel they can tell people how to identify. It’s all too much, it’s a tough conversation to have when you are raised around blackness then a complete stranger comes to tell you otherwise bc of how you look.

[@sanderson1363]

Great video! As a Black woman who appears " mixed or biracial" and is not, and born and raised in the south colorism is a big issue. I distinctly remember not having many people to play with in elementary school as I was too light for some but not light enough for others. It was very eye-opening. Growing up and becoming a woman and hearing the snide comments about how I thought I was better than others when that thought had never entered my mind. I saw the difference in treatment, even in my family, between me and my brother. I am okay with not being trusted at first, but once I "make my bones" I would like to feel welcomed and backed by the women who know me and I don't feel I always am.

[@renee7113]

Same here. I have distanced myself because I took on so much pain that wasn’t mine and then I didn’t get it back and I don’t mean in a tit for tat way. It’s just too much energy and I wish I had my time back - but I don’t. Thank you for sharing.

[@876LND]

Yeah, ppl never really talk about black mixed passing issues. Because you don't really fit in either groups

[@jasgirl110]

That’s sad to hear but that’s not colorism

[@renee7113]

@@jasgirl110in a non combative way, I would welcome hearing your perspective on how it is not as she is speaking about people being treated different as well as herself due to color.

[@sanderson1363]

@@jasgirl110 I never said what I experienced was colorism. I said in the South colorism is bad. I can see the impact of colorism without necessarily experiencing it. Like I saw how people treated my brother who had a richer skin tone.

[@samoneadams9785]

I’m not mixed but am “light skinned” and this shed light on the colorism that I’ve experienced down through the years. I’m 61 now and still deal with it when I meet women who are darker skinned than I am. I’ve always known that it came from places of ignorance, generational colorism, distrust, self hate, etc., so I have “done the work” to make sure those views/reasons don’t taint my view of myself or others. But I’ve learned that it does take work; it must be intentional. If not, those ideas/comments can sneak right in and the next thing you know you’re thinking those same thoughts and eventually saying some of the same hurtful things that give people plenty of reasons to not trust you. The goal is to take care of one another; not harm so whatever I need to do to ensure that you’re ok then that’s what I must do. We don’t like to hear it but imma say it anyway; God has COMMANDED (not a suggestion) that we love one another; not like the world loves but like He loves. Baaabeeee that takes WORK!!!

[@Rossisreal7]

Been talking to myself about this… and you summarized it best with the bridge. Not fully accepted but usually accepted. Real

[@musicneurons7807]

Being 'biracial' and the question of 'how Black' you are, is such a BLACK diasporic experience. Also, I wish... you'd talked about your experiences with the daytime talk show. That HURT so much as a black women. I felt protective and helpless for all sides of the discourse

[@GeeBee212]

I will strongly disagree that being biracial and the question of how Black you are is just a diasporic expereince. My maternal grandparents are of African and Indian descent. My paternal are Asian and European. I have lived all over the globe and the issues are the same where ever we go.

[@lynnd.5135]

Why are biracial people obsessed with identifying as black? You never hear them fight to be white or whatever other ethnicity they are mixed with. It's constant fight with trying to be black and then be condescending towards black people

[@cupcake1065]

@@GeeBee212 I hear you, but I would say from my experience living in Ghana (as a black British Ghanaian), my mixed-race friends were not seen as any less black than us in a negative sense. They were fully accepted and their blackness was never questioned. Don't get me wrong, people recognised that they were mixed race and didn't erase that part of their identity (as a lot of Americans seem to do with the one-drop rule), but they were 100% integrated into Ghanaian society and weren't rejected etc. Due to colonialism, Ghana has its own subsect of mixed-race Ghanaians who are deemed just as Ghanaian as their fully black counterparts and there isn't a hierarchy. We are seen as one. So I do feel that when you leave Africa and go to Europe or America the question is how black a mixed person is more of a thing, not to say it doesn't exist in Africa, but not to the same extent as the diaspora.

[@GeeBee212]

@@cupcake1065 As a mixed race person who lived in Ghana and Kenya, I would have to respectfully disagree with you. It was all the same difference for me. I did find that the questioning was less of an issue in more cosmopolitan areas whether in Europe, the Americas, or Africa. My great grandfather went to Lincoln University with Kwame Nkrumah just to give you persepctive. I was raised as an -Black- African American despite my phenotype not making that obvious. I was taught that I define who I am. I am not a bridge. I am not the answer to racism, I am not mulatto, spicy or exotic. I am Black. African American because that is my cultural heritage. AA's have always been accepting of "mixed" race people. We had no choice because of the "one-drop" rule. My friend's dissertation asserts that for obvious reasons, there were just as many "mixed race' children in the US in the 17th-early 20th century as there are now. They just weren't acknowledged as such. Clearly the vast majority were the children of white men and Black women. Our DNA is now proving that with 95% of AA's having 10-40% deep European ancestry. 75% have at least 25%. What I notice is when the mother is Black or Black identifying like my mother, the children have a stronger sense of who they are. When they are raised "colorblind" or around only white family members, or their phenotype puts them squarely in Blackness but they say that they are not, findng their voice is much more difficult journey. Peace.

[@musicneurons7807]

@cupcake1065 yes. such an important perspective that I didn't even acknowledge. It came to my mind, but i didn't feel equipped to talk about. Sorry about that. When Black Americans talk about the Black diaspora, we're usually talking about the 🌏 through an American lens. U.S. VP Kamala Harris reminds me of Shan. Her Blackness is still scrutinized. I can't speak for all the West Indies, but I know in Jamaica there's consensus over the motto "out of many one people." I know. Upon coming to the States, many Jamaican ex-pats have a culture shock. Disturbing is the word I hear repeatedly. No-one* owns this conversation (imo). (*from the Black diaspora. To use the best term I know 😂)

[@roots4140]

There is mistrust on both sides.... for extremely valid reasons. And it's exhausting.

[@rusheeda13]

The community is not rational enough for this conversation, most people can't separate intimacy and colorism. I also understand that sexuality and intimacy is different for darker-skinned girls and women, because of how to community looks at sex and relationship.