Share Your Funniest D&D Story #1 (r/dndstories)

Share Your Funniest D&D Story #1 (r/dndstories)
If you have any stories on this topic, please leave them in comments.
We plan to make the last in the series using them!
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Stay tuned for more awesome DnD content!
#DnDStories #DnD #DungeonsAndDragons
What's the biggest mind-f**k you've seen during a DND campaign?
What's your worst loot stories?
What's the saddest death that you have ever encountered while playing D&D?
What's the funniest way you spoiled a important plot element in your campaign?
DND players, what was your funniest “rolled a 1” moment?
DMs, What is a plotline you've always wanted to run?
Ever had another PC kill your character?
DND Players, What is the coolest character you have ever played?
What is the worst name your PCs ever came up with?
What is the worst/best misinterpretation of a rule or ability that you have seen?
What stunt did your D&D players pull that completely derailed the campaign?
What is the most unexpected damage you've ever done as a PC or DM?
What’s your best Tarrasque story?

[@imaghost2961]

“Nearly Headless Nick ain’t got nothing on me.” That’s amazing. 😂😂😂😂

[@pidgewidget6612]

Harry Potter reference, I was so happy when I heard it lol.

[@GeoGamerArtistVlogger]

NIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!

[@astrochemist1107]

for some reason i thought i saw this comment 9 years ago

[@B.E.N_]

I love harry potter!( and i am also a ghost

[@theautisticartist9370]

Snake

[@halodude7167]

In my first dnd campaign I was a Paladin and the DM made the mistake of giving me the command ability(basically I can use any one word command to influence an enemy to obey if they fail a saving throw) so early on our campaign we went up against some goblins and we were losing do to some unfortunate rolls, so in order to attempt and make some progress I screamed "CASTRATE" at a Goblin and the DM let it happen and because I rolled a 20. The goblin did so swiftly and he angled his spear and removed the whole penis, sack and all. After the encounter our group's Halfling Monk picked up the hastily removed genitals and asked the DM if he could affix it to his staff. He agreed and said "The weapon is now called 'the shlong of destiny' and it deals 1d4 slosh damage and gives a bonus to intimidation rolls." We kept it through the whole campaign until I extinguished the sun(that's an entirely different story) by accident and our DM walked away defeated by our stupidity.

[@davemakesnoises]

Dragonlord 672 lol moar like it gives a BONER to intimidation rolls amirite!?

[@flibbernodgets7018]

This is why the DM must read all spell descriptions *thoroughly*

[@halodude7167]

@@flibbernodgets7018 he walked us through making the characters and all our abilities, I just don't think he expected me to use it like that and extinguishing the sun was an enchanted item that was supposed to act like a torch that I tried to enhance and rolled a nat 1 and the effect was reversed thus making it absorb all natural light

[@flibbernodgets7018]

@@halodude7167 don't know if it changed but 3.5 command had a very strict list of what you could and couldn't tell them to do. I had a character who was commanded to "die", and I assumed my heart had stopped at the cleric's word and acted out a really funny/dramatic death scene before being told I just had to lay on the ground for a few turns.

[@halodude7167]

@@flibbernodgets7018 yeah, at the time we weren't allowed to tell them to do anything that would go against their alignment or to outright kill themselves, but this goblin in particular rolled a crit on his action so we kinda loopholed it

[@Dragon359]

So that one group basically let a town get slaughtered by murderers just to get catapulted to a town to get really good pizza? I think I commented this on another video: "The heroes of our time, everyone. Neither the ones that were asked for, nor ones that ANYONE deserves." XD

[@Dragon359]

@Jack Newmark Possibly. XD I made that same comment on the 'Best Tarrasque stories #1' video.

[@Asherbird25]

I remember I saw one that said "You address yourself as the heros, yet all I see are a group of villains"

[@mysterymaiden]

I would have offered the bandits the choice of joining the party. Money and a “safe” way of life.

[@nvfury13]

“You know, road guard work is honest work that *doesn’t* risk you getting hung or adventurers hired to clear you out. Or city guard work.”

[@Minusoh]

@@nvfury13 "It does put you at risk of constantly getting knocked out from behind by people like me, however."

[@JaelinBezel]

Actually i have a fantasy adventure book set in DnD (as evidenced by the words “Forgotten Realms” on the cover) and it shows the very stark reality that adventuring there for real would e dangerous and terrifying and always with the promise of death looming over you. I’m only a little over halfway through that book.

[@Tom-H1]

"Heretics like you belong on a cross

[@mysterymaiden]

Pray tell.. why

[@dragonlord3376]

Started DnD a few weeks back in anime club, dm tells me later that we were supposed to start at a tavern and end at a cave, 1 hour later, one guy got half his vans (the shoe) eaten, one of the rogues burned down the taverm, and the drunk monk ran in to save the beer, rogue trips and takes fire damage, and me and the cleric are just hiding from the swarm of monsters that just went to the tavern, we all walked out alive👍

[@TheAquaAuthor]

Lmao look at our names

[@Uncle-Jay]

Sounds like the DM has a bunch of assholes for players.

[@masteryoda9454]

Lol anime club cringe as hell

[@brianasheffield45]

Got dang I'm actually playing that campaign it's the lost mines of phandelver it's a great beginner

[@mattevans4377]

When I heard the name 'Thurgood Jenkins', I immediately thought of 'Prospector Jenkins'. I imagine that stew ended up being pretty....explosive.....

[@tosfan6489]

Prospector Jenkins, grim servant of death!

[@fiend-off-the-grid]

I was thinking Leeroy Jenkins meself

[@davemakesnoises]

Matt Evans some of you have never seen Half Baked and it shows

[@Xilex90]

Never trust a Jenkins....

[@akisa7865]

It made two timelines, one where he failed the speech and died, and another where he succeeded and lived

[@miniops12]

Friend of mine's character has a shapeshifting/skinwalker sort of ability and disguised themselves to be a big burly black dude so they could get into a tavern (character is only 15 or something). Anyway, a little while later, he gets a room to do some shit, and who else than the person he's disguised as walked into the room. Dude's obviously confused as fuck, and PC tries to convince him that he's his long lost twin brother. Aces his roll and has a heartfelt reunitement with his "brother", ending the session. Had the whole table laughing their asses off. Unfortunately the guy (PC) decided to take him out in the woods and kill him in the next session, don't really remember the reason why.

[@rotaderp88]

@Tater Tot is asking that relevant?

[@rotaderp88]

@Alastair McLean idk the guy I was talking deleted his comment I guess

[@Uncle-Jay]

This is really weird...

[@miniops12]

@@Uncle-Jay aw man, when compared to some of the other shit my party used to get up to, this is _extremely_ tame

[@Goodgu3963]

Guess you could say the psion got his lights knocked out.

[@Tossol]

Funny

[@mikevanvoorst6815]

My first campaign was in a classroom. DM made it simple and easy. Myself and a friend were interested how it worked. Needless to say, we died on the first fight.

[@ladylunaginaofgames40]

The HR department story reminded me of something from the Oxbornadventure. They were investigating what's causing the animals to go crazy, and the pirate decided to eat some suspicious berries. He also got drunk on a separate occasion. Pollution came from an illegal Kolbold distillery. His failed stealth check was hilarious before he claimed he was the illegal distillery health inspector

[@vb-iz5gu]

We had a mission to infiltrate an orc camp and take out their leader, we got some potions that transformed us into orcs. When we got there we decided that it would be best to try too convince the other orcs to take down the leader, since he treated them poorly and didn't feed them well. As we were going around in the camp to gather more orcs to rebel, our sorrcerer saw an orc starring down a hole in the ground, seemingly bottomless. He went up to the orc and said: "If you hold on to this feather, jump up in the air and say "I can fly", you can fly down to the bottom." Roll for presausion, sucsess! The orc thought this was a very good idea, grabbed the feather, jumped towards the hole and said: "I can fly!" He could not fly and fell down into the bottomless pit.

[@Tr0lliPop]

If only he was a Warhammer 40k orc...

[@tb_neitor]

Just like a cartoon

[@codywilliamson4299]

Funniest thing to happen in one of my games happend a few years back. Our group was on the smaller side at the time. My buddy was playing a dragonborn rogue, My other buddy was DMing and playing a human druid ( mostly to help in combat), and my wife was playing a tiefling rogue. As for myself I was playing a gnome barbarian. This story takes place shortly after we completed a small mission. My wife's tiefling stole a ring and put it on without a second thought. it turned out to be cursed, causing her to to sprout wings, longer horns, and to only speak infernal. (she was ok with this) The druid later found a infernal to common dictionary and would translate the essential bits. Anyway we were at a tavern trying to get rooms and food when the tiefling made a statement in infernal (something about the cursed ring) The druid laughed and said "I'm not translating that." Since the tiefling had a habit of casually insulting the party, my barbarian asked. "What did she say?" The druid again said he wasn't translating. My gnome barbarian then made his most common threat to all races taller than him. "Tell me, or I will punch you in the dick." The druid then stood with his legs spread while doing the suck it hand motion and said "Go right ahead" Since this was the DM's PC I asked what do I roll for? Since he was letting me hit him. He said to roll Athletics. NATURAL..........$@%&ING...........20 The DM then says. "You causally walk to the other end of the bar. Then sprint like an Olympic gold medalist across the room and jumping into the air to bring the full force of your punch into his crotch. There is an audible POP. and the room goes silent as blood begins to trickle down the druids leg." And thats the story how I unintentionally intimidated an entire tavern while the druid lost one of his nuts

[@caikelm5766]

HOLY SHIT

[@yuseikiryu923]

It’s almost funny, but it hurts.

[@joelrobinson5457]

Ooh, I hope the cleric was a good healer

[@Uncle-Jay]

I know a lot of DMs try to avoid party conflicts or player VS player fights. I know that sometimes these can be uncomfortable situations, but I have always put solving these problems up to my players and I find it often tells a better story. Frankly, if I was playing with you and you destroyed on of my testicles because I didn't want to be your google translator for the evening, there would 100% absolutely be some party conflict going on there.

[@tb_neitor]

​@@joelrobinson5457maybe the pain isn't eternal but the memory of a direct punch in the nuts is

[@FinallyAlone]

"natural 20" *accompanied by the smash Bros home run bat sound effect* Satisfying.

[@jeffjeronimo94]

Currently the funniest thing to happen: *im DMing for party who were task of bringing in a troll alive so the town doctor can make a super healing potion. So they came across these group of trolls campsite, and started to argue about how to capture one. The table is now arguing when the wizard (a 6 year old) tells me, "i throw a stone to get one of their attention". I said sure, and wouldn't you know it at nat 20. He succeeded in luring one out by himself, the others soon jumped him and begin to tie him up. So when i asked if their done containing the troll, they said yes: "Feet and hands are now tied up", "are you sure,thats it" i asked. "Yup". The moment they let go of the troll, the troll screamed for help. Our barbarian yeet the troll off the cliff to shut him up. Everyone in the table started laughing.*

[@andrewolson5471]

You always gag the hog-tied troll. Always. It's Adventuring 101.

[@benthomason3307]

I've got one that involves the Deck Of Many Things. To start, we need to talk about a friend of mine and fellow player. Let's call him Frank. Frank's pretty stupid. Like, "sitcom dunderhead character" stupid. If they made a movie about his life, he'd be played by Adam Sandler. He had a habit of doing very annoyingly dumb things in this campaign that tended to set our party back considerably. We also need to talk about his mount. see, the DM, my dad, is a very funny guy. Frank was playing a paladin named Hydronos, and this was 2e, so once your paladin reached a certain level, you got a mount. you normally rolled percentile dice to see what type of creature it was. 75% chance it was a horse, but the other 25% had lots of cool creatures, like a 3% chance of a griffin. Frank said he wanted a hippogriff, so my dad opted to just give him a ditzy talking hippo. named Griff. This was no ordinary talking hippo though, this was a talking hippo with the personality of a big, goofy, friendly dog that thinks it's still a puppy. Griff liked to sing "carol of the bells" with heavily malaproped (adjective version of malaproper) and mondegreened lyrics, "Ding, fries are done, ding, fries are done," as an inside joke. not only that, but his stats. he could fly due to tiny normal-sized dragonfly wings on his neck. he could use "hipponosis," which Griff _thought_ was genuine sleep by hypnosis, but actually was where he would walk up to someone, repeatedly say, "you are getting SLEEEEEEpy" right to their face, and they'd fall unconcious from his bad breath. Griff could also use "the spreader attack," which was where he'd turn around and spray hippo diarrhea all over the floor such that people began to trip and fall. he also had a bite attack that dealt 1d20 in _damage_ , and he could cause a small earthquake by dancing around. now, on to THE DECK. my dad always likes to come up with additional homebrewed cards for THE DECK so that we can use an actual deck of playing cards. black cards are bad, red ones good. you drew ace of spades? that's Ruin. one of our other players drew a homebrewed black card that gave him a bifurcated colon, meaning he now had two anuses and three buttcheeks. stuff like that. Now this is where Frank comes in. keep in mind, the Dm had legitimately shuffled the deck before we started drawing. At first, Frank drew a card that gave him three wishes he could cash in at any time he wanted, as per a genie or the wish spell. After that card, he drew a black card that subtracted four from his intelligence. next card gave him ken doll anatomy. because of his stupidity, Frank was under the impression that the rules of random probability dictated that a given string of bad luck must be immediately followed by an equally long string of good luck. next card took three from his wisdom. next card morphed his nose into a floppy penis shape (not an actual penis, just shaped like one) that, because of how paladins worked back then, would cost him his paladinhood if he ever exposed it in public. Next card took another three from his intelligence. next card said that three powerful vampires were chasing him down, and would catch up to and fight the party in a certain amount of time. next card took six from his wisdom. next card said that a horde of demons were chasing him down, and would fight the party in a certain amount of time. next card took another three from his intelligence. next card took five from his charisma (reminder: this was the state the deck wound up in _after having been shuffled_ ). next card took four from his intelligence. Frank only stopped drawing cards at the next one, which turned him into a goat. not a goat with the mind of a paladin mind you, an ordinary goat. _...with no genitals, a penis-shaped nose, and talking hippo best friend._ since griff was still bound to this goat as his mount, we couldn't keep him, so he had to follow when the goat wandered off into the part of the dungeon we'd already cleared. end of session. but sometime before next session, the Dm remembered that his goat _STILL HAD THOSE THREE FREAKING WISHES_ . so when we finished the dungeon and walked to the exit, we found them in a room that now had a river of beer flowing through it, cabbage endlessly, to quote the DM, "bleeding" from the walls, and an oddly attractive female goat with unusually-prominent teats. Then the vampires and demons teleport in, and they just _stare. in. silence._ They didn't even stop us from leaving the dungeon.

[@christiansizemore8737]

lol

[@NStripleseven]

Christian Sizemore I love how he wrote this huge comment, then all you have to say is "lol".

[@christiansizemore8737]

NS777 I like how I say that a month ago and you just now decide to say that

[@NStripleseven]

Christian Sizemore just now saw it...

[@ceilyurie856]

The vampires and demons were like "What the fuck? Uh...I think we must have been mistaken."

[@Mrmotivationalone]

Hope I'm not too late to share and first time commenting! So this is my first ever DnD session face to face with 4 other of my friends. We were playing a Changeling Bard, a Wood-Elf Monk, a High-Elf Sorcerer and I, a Human Artificer. The twist here is that my character is actually from Japan and got sent to our DM's world and the setting for the campaign after he got hit by a truck. Anyways, it was our first session and my character meets the party in the tavern, inquiring them if any of them know magic to take him home back to his world and I ask the DM if I can roll a persuasion check. Sorcerer: "Can he do that?" DM: "I'll tell you what he needs. 10 or lower the 3 of you think he's a spy. 11 to 14 and you think he's slightly crazy and go 'Eh' among yourselves. 15 or above you find it plausible and possible he's from an alternate reality." Bard: "What if he rolls a nat 20?" I roll, I get my first ever natural 20 in my life and the table goes wild. Now the party DEFINITELY believes I'm from an alternate dimension and a place called "Japan".

[@davemakesnoises]

Yiannis Pimentel never too late to share fam

[@Kfaircloth13457]

Always wanted to play in a campaign where everyone gets Isekaid into the current game with the goal being get home.

[@MZZE-my7hz]

“ rumoured is spelt correctly, I like that” why would you say something so controversial yet so brave. FYI I agree that it’s correct

[@davemakesnoises]

M0ZZ1E33 because it needed to be said and i’ll defend it to the death.

[@SSunbros]

That's the UK Spelling, it's spelled without the U in america, same with the word Colour (color in america). So either way the spelling is correct depending on what part of the world you are from. The same also applies to the words favourite (favorite) and neighbour (neighbor)

[@davemakesnoises]

@@SSunbros i'm from canada, therefore colour is the only way. thanks for clarifying.

[@SSunbros]

davemakesnoises Ah thank you as well for teaching me something new.

[@mattb4072]

"Rumoured is spelled correctly, I like that" You canadian too?

[@esppupsnkits4560]

I’ve seen it spelled weird ways

[@davemakesnoises]

Canadian af fam

[@mattb4072]

@@esppupsnkits4560 yeah like rumored

[@davemakesnoises]

Matt B 💯

[@PoldaranOfDalaran]

LolCanada and your bags of milk.

[@a-aron391]

I love that you and Neckbeardia have become community hubs in the past years. Been following you since y'all were in the hundreds, Neckbeardia since they were around one thousand. It's been amazing watching you all grow and change, can't wait for 50,000!!

[@o.d.d.792]

This isn’t my dnd session but another that’s actually uploaded on KZbin in a group of 5 characters they were about to rest near a pathway to town and 2 of the only elves were going to keep watch. During the first watch this elf keep in mind had a noble background and so what the DM describes is that he hears a dangling of chains and then asked the player what to do and so he woke everyone up thinking they were about to be attacked and then everyone woke up and then they hear a “moooooooooo” (ding ding ding ding(a bell)). Then everyone’s like I’m going back to sleep and the elf was like “wait why” and they weren’t worried because they knew it was a cow but this elf was a noble so didn’t know what a cow was he lived in noble areas and everyone was like you can go yourself and one of the bards gave bardic inspiration and so he snuck up (rolled and succeeded in stealth check) and then the dm describes the cows in a very deep and intense manner “you see 3 creatures and 1 of them is slouched on the ground they are almost as large as a horse in a strange black and white pattern and have these 2 horn out of their head” and then the elf said by the gods and then the dm says “you see one of them their head is looming down and biting the grass and then the elf said “satanic creatures” and so he was a sorcerer and got a suprise round and so he used a ice knife spell and one of the cows succeeded in rolling out of the way of the ice” and then initiative the elf is first and one of the cow dies from the ice knife and then rolled to hit for firebolt rolls and succeeds and got 10 dmg from 1d10 and incinerated another cow and the 3rd cow flles in terror and so the elf acted very proud that he defended the group himself and everyone in real life was laughing so hard and I was too I was slamming my desk from laughing. Just in case if anyone wanna know where this is from this is from High Rollers DnD channel with almost 75k subs watch it it has a interesting sci fi setting

[@CatCheshire]

I love that moment and I didn't expect to see it here

[@joshuacr]

At least it wasn't a..._Gazebo!_

[@flibbernodgets7018]

I was DMing for a group where two characters wanted to disguise themselves and sneak into where slavers were holding someone they knew. I rolled for them and hid it until it was tested, so they had no idea they had rolled a natural 1. I determine that they inadvertently made themselves look like someone famous. So they knock on the door and are immediately "recognized" as the mayor of this city, who is extremely vocal in his opposition to the underground slave trade. Things are about to come to blows, but the "mayor" salvages the situation with a nat 20 bluff, convincing the slavers that his public opinions don't overlap with his private ones. They get in, verify the person they're there to rescue is there, and whoop the slavers in the surprise round. This is the best example I've ever taken part in of "failing forward", where failure doesn't end the game but advances it in a more difficult and interesting way.

[@Ajehy]

Lots of stories (15 years of play), but this one’s short: First session, level 1 characters, almost TPK’ed against an angry 3-legged mutant seagull. Not a super-seagull, not a magic seagull. The only thing special about it was the number of legs and its murderous rage. Nobody died, but it had them on the ropes.

[@MetallicD3ath]

Some time ago, when I was first getting into DND in college (we had an actual gaming club, it was pretty large, and one of the DMs there was "legendary," he was DMing this particular game), I was watching some people play. Not playing, not interacting, just watching. I had asked to join, but the DM said the party was full, but if someone else left, I could join in. So one of the players for this campaign was an evil cleric. Of Narul (choose your favorite spelling). This DM played Narul as a reverent deity of death. Keyword reverant. Probably something akin to actual mythological Hades and not the Disney version. The cleric though? Not so much. The player played a lot more like many of the players in the video. (the campaign was actually *mostly* serious, and he was bad at derailing it, so I don't think the DM really liked him, but he was also brand new, so he was given a chance). But importantly, If I remember properly, he had a skull in his pack, and would routinely defile it in one way or another. So this DM has, also, what accounts to a wild magic table, but it's even more wild, and he just randomly gives players the opportunity to roll. (Usually he doesn't force a roll if you don't want it though. Usually. Most of the time people rolled). So this player, this imbecile of a character, rolled the table. And summoned his deity. Now, as a cleric, what would you do if your deity appeared before you? Well, this player decided it was a perfect time to take out the skull and defile it. He started by urinating in it, which of course angered Narul. The DM basically flatly warns the guy (if it was anyone who wasn't new, they probably wouldn't have gotten another chance), but the character *then* decides he's going to procreate with the skull. So that's the story of how a cleric was smited by his own deity, and how I managed to get my way into a full party.

[@frankyquilavafireblast895]

First-ever game borderline one shot because life… Me and a buddy join another friend who is daMinghis campaign One of the first things that happens is that one guy gets convinced to disembowel himself, a healing potion gets launched at the wall so now instead of being wood it is metal and my buddy playing chaotic stupid manages to convince the DM to make a bank in the city they’re in, which was not originally there because it was the day of the raid area 51 day The group stole over 2000 pieces of gold and a helm of brilliance… All things considered, what a hell of a game

[@rosshoffert6915]

I've been subbed to you both for a long time now! Thats amazing you guys are collabing

[@gamesndebunker]

Hello Mr ripper

[@MrRipper]

Hello!

[@nobuggingclue3167]

Hello

[@nobuggingclue3167]

@@MrRipper a

[@ahumantryingtosurvive]

@@nobuggingclue3167 a

[@Not_a_annon]

@@ahumantryingtosurvive a

[@DarkJusn2020]

This world needs more people like that merciful rouge. He's now my hero

[@johnpugh3457]

All these videos make me want to start playing d&d, never have but these are amazing

[@JandLWhatnots]

Way back in Advanced D&D we started our campaign in a bar”of course” and the two ninjas got bored (my brother-in-law and me). Using distraction techniques and invisibility we set half the tables on fire and tied the shoes of our cleric together. Fun times.

[@Thalia_Aquaticaa]

I don't have anything funny to share, but hello there. ACTUAL FEEDBACK NEEDED: is putting Godzilla in my campaign too OP?

[@somethingderpy5995]

Not op enough put 20 Godzilla's

[@Thalia_Aquaticaa]

@@somethingderpy5995 UH OK

[@RenoKyrie]

@@Thalia_Aquaticaa Technicaly Tarrasque is a Godzilla like monster.... But it depends on which Godzilla you want The weak and dissapointing as hell Zilla(AKA a nerfed Tarrasque) Or the death machine that is Godzilla Earth(almost Half the size of Earth) and Shin Godzilla(Litteraly means Death Godzilla)

[@thealienlife]

Maybe give your PCs some OP shit

[@Thalia_Aquaticaa]

@@RenoKyrie I was planning in Earthgoji, and I'm guessing the Tarrasque stat block is the best. Thanks for also having that knowledge of he king of the monsters, I was wondering how to integrate my favorite creature into DnD!

[@theshamanostproductions7391]

Lol that HR story reminded me of a campaign a year ago where I was the DM. The party was tasked with retrieving a liquor license from a goblin gang looking to start up a tavern. They deceived them into thinking they were the health department so they became the Health Inspectors.

[@wyattperry4484]

Yeah I just ran across neckbeardia on my feed. Like today!! Anyway always good to see collaboration between KZbinrs!! I am Already subscribed to neckbeardia!

[@noskalborg723]

Same, this channel sent me there some months back.

[@davemakesnoises]

*stamps ur PP (passport)*

[@walksaselk40]

This hasn't happened yet but I have always wanted to play a lawful evil pig with maximum possible intelligence.

[@Ajehy]

Walks As Elk - One of my friends played a dog in a one-shot I ran. A normal Black Lab, who had learned Rogue and Wizard skills in order to steal cheese and butter... based on her own real-life dog. It was hilarious. She made doggy sounds to cast all her spells, and wagged her tail as the magical gestures.

[@walksaselk40]

@@Ajehy chaotic good?

[@kanseiyamazaru435]

Oh god I actually remember reading the magic catapult story on a forum somewhere. That story alone made me dread ever wanting to be a DM for fear of having to deal with a group that couldn't give a shit about the little things.

[@Dragon359]

I figure if you play with a group of friends or trusted individuals that love doing more role-play oriented stuff or things like horror and/or mysteries, then it should be fine. Get a random bunch together and you'll most likely get *that*.

[@awesomechainsaw]

Yeah but being a dm lets you be just as creative sometimes. For example one of my big bads teleported away. I then asked “would anyone like to follow her?” Whole party that could move said yes. Too bad the big bad was teleporting into the stratosphere, and was the only one with a feather fall spell. Wiped the party, and ended the one-shot with that move. Another great one is to cast transform stone under the party, and then dispel magic the next round. Traps them in two turns. Then if you really want your players dead cast transform stone on the ceiling above them, and cover their heads in a thick layer of mud and watch them suffocate.

[@MisterDiceGuy]

Made a character for a one shot. Fighter. Initially wanted to call him the Iron Chef and give the chef feat with tavern brawler to use his chef tools as weapons, but then I got a better idea. Instead he is an Eldritch Knight with two throwing cleavers that got used as throwing axes using the Dual Wielding feat which has a wonderful overlap with the Bound Weapon ability (at least my dm allowed it, kinda an interpretation). His backstory was that he was a knight that got hit in the head too many times by friendly fire and lost his mind. He maintained his fighting skills but thought he was entertaining a crowd watching a cooking performance. Narrating his movements, commenting on how great things looked, yelling at characters and enemies for messing up saying that they are terrible cooks, and just referring to everything as if he was in a restaurant as a chef. And of course he was a quick witted Brit. Thus was the rise of the Steel Chef Jordan Ramsley.

[@melkiorwiseman5234]

Fun Fact: A Labrynth isn't the same thing as a maze. A true labrynth has just one passage, but it twists and turns in a confusing way so that it takes a long time to get where you're going and you might not know (in the days before GPS or common knowledge of the compass) which way you are facing when you reach the exit. That being said, "labrynth" _has_ become a common alternative word for "maze" even though they're not the same thing. "And that's how you go fishing for ghouls" should have been "And that's how to get all the ghouls."

[@lordvaust5830]

My players were defeated by a disco snail. It’s a modified flail snail that doesn’t attack, instead hiding in it’s shell and using it’s flash ability every round while slowly crawling away, raving like a disco ball. My players chased it for an hour and couldn’t kill it. Eventually I had to force end the encounter because they were nowhere close to killing it. My players were beaten by a disco ball running away from them at the speed of a tortoise walking on super glue.

[@joshuacr]

(sound) Mph mph mph... *three times in rapid succession* mph mph mph

[@spiderdude2099]

Long setup for a pretty short moment but it was a memorable one and we laughed for probably 5 minutes straight when this happened: Our dnd campaign was a Star Wars themed one and also one that used special D12s with special symbols instead of number rolls. The important thing to note is that for any roll we would have a set number of these dice based on how leveled we were in that skill and the DM would roll an opposing number of dice based on how hard the check we were making was. On each dice we had 6 symbols. Hits, misses, advantages, losses, despairs and triumphs. Basically for any check you needed to roll at least 1 hit to connect your attack or succeed your skill. You added your roll against the dm roll and any hits you rolled cancelled out any misses the dm rolled. Any advantages were cancelled out by losses, but despairs and triumphs were not cancelled out by each other. Whatever your net score was after rolling and cancelling was what occurred. This allowed some interesting rolls like missing but with a triumph which usually meant you missed and didn’t do what you intended but you got some crazy advantage or bonus next round. Anyways, lots of setup, but it’s important to the story. So there we were in our starship, when we ran into some tie fighters in a debris field surrounding a planet below, and had to have our pilot engage the enemies and maneuver while the rest of use manned the guns. We were doing pretty well, and almost all the tie fighters had been dispatched except for two. We chased them for a while until they split in two different directions. We followed one and destroyed it, but the other one came out from behind a chuck of spaceship and fired at us. It had advantage so our pilot had to roll against a hefty bunch of dice the dm had for the check. He rolled.....a net score of 4 successes.....and THREE despairs..... Just FYI, a single despair or triumph basically resulted in an insane almost deus ex miraculous effect either good for triumphs...or bad for despairs. Additionally the exact effect was essentially up to our dm, there was no exact rules on what could happen from these insane symbols. Our pilot just succeeded his dodge of the attack with flying colors..but with three despairs. This was the first time anyone had rolled that many and our dm was at a loss until finally he said “ahem......you expertly dodge the attack with reflexes that were truly stunning to behold.....unfortunately....you failed to see the rare and elusive SPACE TREE which was happily growing in front of you! Your ship takes critical engine damage and you begin hurtling through the atmosphere with a crash landing on the planet below imminent.” We survived but we never stopped giving our pilot shit for “running into space trees”

[@Uncle-Jay]

I used to play GURPS in the early 1990's with my Mom's friends from the local factory. It wasn't until around five years ago that I started playing again and I met a bunch of people that can get together on a regular basis to play D&D. We started out with the "Yawning Portal" in the "Dark Cathedral". The book gave me the impression that we could go from level 1 all the way to 20 with the book, but the very first chapter had traps that had a DC of 17, which was insane to me. I ended up cutting out a lot of stuff because I knew the party couldn't handle it. So they end up getting in to F2, DM's who had ran Dark Cathedral will know that there's a entire goblin village down there, as well as bug bears and other nasties. One of my players charmed a Bugbear I named "Lydia", they managed to go all the way to the end of the dungeon, bypass all the monsters and convince the "boss" at the end to give them what they wanted. I awarded the party for all the monster XP. As far as I was concerned, avoiding monsters is the same as killing them. Later, Lydia came back again as a de ex machina to save the party. So moved by the party's willingness not to harm a single creature in that dungeon, Lydia ends up leaving and becoming a paladin that sacrifices herself at the last moment to save the party.

[@VooDooley]

thank you for using your voice in these videos, it makes them far more tolerable to watch and I love the character voices

[@susanwalls3580]

Here's an idea that I pitched to my DM that's currently in review. The Idea: for the next Muppet Movie, the Director (The DM) has all the muppets (everyone at the table) play D&D. Periodically, the game cuts between the muppets around the table and the fantasy being acted out, but instead of it just being the muppets dressed up in D&D costume, its celebrity actors but with the muppets doing their voices, and the actors have to act how those muppets would. One player at the table got possibly the best combo, the IRL player was a barbarian named Jason Mamoa but his voice was that of Miss Piggy.

[@roybenari9472]

I got another one from a while back. I actually have a couple I'm struggling to decide between, but here goes: Our party at the time was constructed of 3 characters (we initially had more, but some had to drop due to scheduling issues). It was a half-elf wild sorcerer dressed in all bright yellow and cannot read common (know how to speak it, tho), named Eilrich, a war cleric/druid dwarf, who is a crazy, mushroom fueled hot-head, named Holland, and my rogue/warlock (genie patron) water genasi, named Snake. For the session in tale, our DM was tired and didn't prepare for it (mostly because he didn't have the time), but he did prepare a large arena map quickly and suggested we spend that session fighting each other in a battle royale. All three of us were itching to play so we happily jumped into it. The premise was our pc's got transported to this arena by some sort of spell, and for some reason suddenly felt the urge to kill one another. Other than that we could RP as we would like, but we didn't trust each other and we wanted to kill each other. Those were the rules. We each got stationed in separate huts, and we didn't know where the others were (we actually had FoW so it was great). Our druid, a fight-enthusiast set out to find the others, walking around buildings and ruins in search. Eilrich spotted a high-point and immediately B-lined to it to get the advantage and maybe a better view. At this time I should mention my familiar imp who could fly and become invisible was there with Snake, AND Snake could see through Luci, the imp's eyes when Luci's in range. I should also mention Snake could use "Genie's Respite" and disappear into a ring he was wearing at all times, and that's exactly what he did, but not before sending Luci out to scout and get a lay of the land (while invisible, of course). Now I could see there was a small lake in the center of the area, and I could also see Eilrich, the sorcerer up on the high ground. Snake is extremely vulnerable against both the sorcerer and the cleric/druid, who could deal massive damage to him, so although he wants to kill them, he also wanted to stay alive and figured his best tactic was to wait for one of them to kill the other, and THEN go after the one still standing (maybe deal some sneak damage). SO Snake jumps into the ring for a respite and has Luci carry the ring, while invisible, to the center of the lake and drop it. From Eilrich's high ground he didn't notice the tiny "ploop" made by the ring hitting the water. I wait. In the meantime, frustrated he can't seem to hit Eilrich, Holland turns into a giant eagle and flies up. Eilrich managed to deal a looot of damage to Holland during the last two rounds, with some fireballs and scorching rays. (My imp is sneaking behind Eilrich, within 10ft. Snake is waiting in the lake). Holland thinks for another second and begins chuckling to himself (did I mention this was a crazy mofo?). He flies up the rest of his movement, turns back into his dwarf shape, casts Conjure Animals about 60ft higher than him, but in a straight line above Eilrich - 8 beasts of CR 1/4 or lower, and those 8 beasts are cows. The cows' fall damage is quartered due to the sorcerer's resistances and it still flattened him out. Holland then plummeted to his death as well. Snake won without lifting a finger.

[@ClaudeMonroe3]

My friends and I were in the final round of a 3 day AD&D tournament at Texas A&M. The final round was going to be a marathon 4+ hour session where we had to somehow recover a staff held by an undead hill giant in the center of a large cavern. The perimeter of the cavern was being excavated by zombie and skeletal miners - at least a hundred of them. Definitely going to be a hard fight. I was playing a Paladin, and after a few minutes, I came up with a plan. I convinced the magic user to loan me his Ring of Fire Protection, and cast Haste on me, and I also drank a potion of speed, and got a blessing from the cleric. My plan was to start the fight in the middle where the giant was, to draw all the undead to the center of the room so they magic user could cast fireball and the thief could throw flasks of oil on the undead. We hoped to kill enough of them in the initial rounds to allow us to focus on the undead hill giant. I raced across the room in one round, and hit the undead hill giant with a NATURAL 20 - using my MACE OF DISRUPTION!!! It was annihilated - in the first round. There was stunned silence around the table - then a cheer. The GM checked his notes and the DMG, looking for a loophole. He even called in the event organizers to make sure we didn't break any rules. Eventually he said 'When the staff falls to the floor, there starts a deep rumbling like an earthquake and the ceiling of the cavern starts to crash down around you". I quickly pickup the staff - which turned out to be a magic staff that as long as someone was holding it kept the cavern from collapsing, and with my boosted speed, quickly left the room back to the entrance. Without the staff, the cavern collapsed, destroying ALL the undead miners. We beat the 4 hour final battle in less than 30 minutes and had to sit around and wait for the other groups to finish so we could get our score. We won the tournament of course, and my friends started calling my paladin The Planadin and my mace was dubbed the One Hit Wonder.

[@alexgorman13]

One of my favorite moments in one of my D&D campaigns was when I played a goblin Rogue by the name of Gerkin. Our party had stumbled into a village during a festival and my character nearly caused a lynch mob with a Panic spell. It ended with him buying a Saint Bernard named Rosie and training her to be his mount

[@PRStuntin6693]

From neckberdia but ive been subscribed since a neckberdia video recommended you

[@AdrienneMorrisa]

I was running an Elder Scrolls DnD 5E game. I have some pretty great stories from it. 1) I was using a critical success/fail table for combat. The party was up against some giant spiders. The spider tried to use its web ability, but rolled a nat 1 on its attack roll. The result I got from the table was "The ammo gets lodged in its container." So I ruled that the spider suddenly became constipated. 2) The party was tasked with stopping some werewolves from kidnapping the local villagers to use in the upcoming Hunt. They encountered the group in the forest with a woman that they were trying to make off with. I gave the woman a turn to try and escape her captors every round. She would roll a strength check at -2, because she's just some random villager. She consistently rolled less than a 5, and often even rolled a 0 or a -1. It became a running joke that she secretly actually WANTED to be taken. Once she was freed, the party just told her, "You need help, lady..." 3) A new party member was going to be added to the group midway through the campaign. He was an orc bard, so I decided that the only appropriate way to introduce him to the campaign was that the party would find him locked up in a dungeon, completely naked (the player okayed this). His clothes were somewhere else in the dungeon, so he went around naked. Every time they found an enemy, he would slap them and scream "WHERE ARE MY PANTS?!?!?" It got to the point where the rest of the party joined in, slapping and screaming "WHERE ARE HIS PANTS?!" He ended up intimidating the boss of this dungeon, but slapped him into unconsciousness before the location of his pants could be revealed.

[@based1195]

So on your first campaign, you played in an already existing, defined world from a different franchise? Props to you. Innistrad is a super cool plane, too. Gotta love that lovecraftian horror.

[@necroticsynthesis4958]

The first character to die in the campaign I'm currently in was my friend's first character, Tordek. We use Roll20, and he used a generic dwarf token for Tordek. After his untimely bullywog-induced demise, Tordek became the biggest OOC joke in the campaign. The DM uses Tordek's token for minor dwarf NPCS now because he loves the joke. Last session, when the DM was revealing the map of the ship we just entered on, he said "Welcome to Tordek" and everyone collectively broke out into a fit of laughter. If one of us notices the token, we are going to point it out.

[@MichaelJohnson-fu2ji]

Bro, AWESOME voices on the bandit camp talking about their rough lives

[@ChryssaBL]

In my first long campaign, my character managed to pick the high DC lock that had the boss in the lock release on failure. Instead of a big fight we found an empty box and a cat. When I suggested we put the cat in the box it (actually a construct) spoke up and asked us not to. We were a hair's breath away for a box that both did and didn't have a cat in it. The science nerds at the table needed a break.

[@GreasyBeasty]

This was my first game as a PC. And still my favorite character. We had a teenaged hobbit (by hobbit standards anyway being 20) Paladin named Milo sting-bottom who had an invisible servant that was his best friend named Ottis. And his dad was a hobbit cobbler that worked for the Hobbit Mafia. A Tabaxi monk name Willow Brightcliffs who is a kleptomaniac and exiled for unknown reasons. and my Lizardfolk fighter named Vikkie who was kicked out of his clan for being of slightly average intelligence (a thing shunned by lizardfolk) and his skin being a dull blue rather than the traditional green. He also couldn't comprehend and use metaphors but still tried his best. He would try getting food wherever he could, even if it was a fallen comrade. Our campaign was a fantasy reality TV show where we were kidnapped from a bar and dropped in, by giant eagle to a remote island, with a guide named Barry Growls and his camera man Cameron. We lost a few other contestants along the way to a native tribe of spirits called Monna-Hoonnay which could explode your head if you looked into their coconut heads. After the first night it came time for the "sit down" where we had a 1 on 1 with Cameron about our experiences. After the other two had gone it was my turn. -Cut to Willow and Milo eavesdropping through the leaves.- The tabaxi had gotten fleas, from a wild animal he had tried to eat on day one, and was scratching at them around his crotch. The helpful and innocent Milo went to help him and proceeded to out dex check the monk to scratch for him. At that point it went to far and he finished off the tabaxi. Who put up no resistance and it hit my character in the face.. On live fantasy TV. And my lizardfolk had a particular habit of eating anything.. and everything.. Not knowing what it was (in character at least) my DM said I had to RP it. And that's how we got the paladin to jack off the monk and my fighter to clean it up all up with his tongue. Gaining 3 temp hp.

[@dbseamz]

Cockney Redbrand yelling about HR was the highlight of this video

[@Lunawolf44]

My party once went to help a bunch of kobolds with some weapons. We were told that anyone who agreed to test out the weapons would get bonus gold, and our sea elf ranger immediately agreed without even being told what the weapon was. We arrive, and it turns out the weapon is a kind of cannon designed to shoot armed kobolds at approaching enemies. We all give some decent tips on safety improvement, then it’s time to test it. Our ranger excitedly gets in and readies herself, then gets shot out over the ocean. My sorcerer was readying featherfall just in case, though it wasn’t at all needed since the ranger rolled stupid high on acrobatics and was able to successfully glide down to the water. After easily swimming back, the first thing she said was “Let’s do it again!” and grinning like she’d just had the best time of her life. Definitely a group favorite.

[@nocount7517]

"Rumored is spelled correctly, I like that." Me, an American: "No, it's not!"

[@davemakesnoises]

No Count everyone else, in the world: “bless your heart”

[@nocount7517]

@@davemakesnoises Oh, bless your heart.

[@lsedge7280]

@@nocount7517 Oh, bless your heart.

[@nocount7517]

@@lsedge7280 That's a Southern saying.

[@lsedge7280]

@@nocount7517 Oh, bless your heart. Grandma's in the isles of Britannia have been saying this for longer than the southern states have existed!

[@grayskindablue]

The end of this as you’re on the way to 200K is absolutely hysterical

[@simonrobinson112]

I was DMing a ghost of saltmarsh module and the group of characters were in the "haunted mansion" fighting bandits and the tiefling warlock found a bag of holding. So when ever an enemy would die he cut off their head and put it in the bag. When they finally got to the boss, a magic bandit leader, he had over a dozen heads. I was going to make the bandit leader make a generic bad man monologue, but in the middle of it the warlock says "I throw a rotting head at his face!" The head SPLATTER onto him, and he is stunned after having had a rotting head thrown at him. The party then annihilated him.

[@ameliabareford4236]

It was my first campaign. My sister and I were playing with my dad as the dm. Obviously, we didn't have enough players, so each of us chose two. One of the characters, Otto, was a paladin in heavy armor. We wanted to sneak somewhere. That didn't work out and we were attacked by like 3 trillion small bugs.

[@dragonicstarblade2049]

"Fishing for Ghouls" XD Brilliant!

[@dusk-smc3188]

I was in a home-brew DnD campaign with some friends, because half of the players couldn't make it and our DM had our character sheets he had each of us three play two characters. We where going into a dwarf fortress that Gnolls have taken over with their hyenas. We walk down the stairs and enter the first door, which was an armory. A few turns into combat the druid (who was also playing the Monk) was trying to heal herself while everyone was fighting. Her black panther tore apart one of the Gnols, the person playing the mage and the ranger had the bright idea of attempting to 360 no scope a hyena using the mage's daggers or the ranger's bow. This proceeded to hit the paladin (me) and drop them down to 1 hp. My halfling thief was generally just throwing sling bullets into the fray. It was the Monk's turn and most of the enemies where dead, so my DM has a home-brew ruleset heavily based off of 2e, so the monk on a nat 19 or 20 can do a special attack based off a site roll. Nat 20 Crit Groin kick on the Hyena exploded it's "private parts" and sent it flying across the room slamming into a wall. Thus she now has the nickname of "Transgender making monk" as everyone was joking about the Hyena being a girl now. Needless to say everyone at the tale was laughing, and a few of us where even crying from laughing so hard. Edit: Also, yes the mage did eventually hit the Hyena with a dagger, giving him the nickname "Dagger swagger" amongst our group.

[@fba90130]

The HR department - We reduce headcount.

[@bunsenn5064]

I remember one time me and my friends did homebrew, and one friend’s character was mentally ill, and owned a 4” x 4” x 4” tungsten cube that would speak to him, telling him to kill people. And sometimes he would give into the voices and bludgeon someone with the cube. My character and his went to negotiate with a town mayor, and he just smashed the guy’s skull in with the cube.

[@AntiTheLost]

I love the stories, Shutup and take my Sub!

[@davemakesnoises]

Bossalinni13 yoink

[@hutao7917]

I’m imagining two players holding the peen on their shoulders, crouching, and shouting “FIRE!!” Before the peen shoots a fireball, vaporizing the enemies

[@nuke7225]

So here’s some backstory to the funny part. Me and some friends were playing a campaign and we had recently gotten chased out of a dungeon by a bunch of trolls. During the fight, I found that my character, a Goliath breadnomancer (warlock) was extremely intimidating to one of the two trolls, and the mere sight of bread scared it immensely. Now we had recently went back into the dungeon, and stumbled upon a trophy room, and while exploring, two trolls entered the room and attacked us. During the fight, I shot a loaf of bread at a troll that had begun to attack me and I scared it away. A friend then proceeded to attempt to use the same piece of bread and failed. When this happens, the troll lost his fear of bread and with renewed courage attacked me. I then used a spell that would take three turns and turned the afflicted into bread. It was a wisdom save so they troll failed every time, and so he had to watch while he slowly became a giant troll shaped hunk of bread. While this was happening, I intimidated the second troll that was attacking an ally by threatening to do the same to him, and he proceeded to try to flee. We quickly got rid of him. One of the funniest things I’ve done so far

[@Flynmn]

I’m in a low level party and this is my first ever game. So we enter this cave and some wolfs are tied up against a stalactite and we were trying to figure out how to kill them. I say “I have a flask of oil” and the lawful good cleric gives me this horrified stare so without any hesitation I chuck the flask of oil at them but I couldn’t light it on fire. Guess who’s turn it was next the cleric he has a hole moral dilemma and he throws a torch at them he rolls... NAT 20 he chucks the torch at one of the wolf’s killing it on impact and burning the other. He was mortified.

[@nhilverda5460]

First two rolls a friend ever did as wild sorcerer for wild magic effect, were both fireball self numbers.

[@hatmcshooty]

My party and I are falling through the sky, and one of my party members is trying to talk to me. I then say that I wouldn’t be able to hear him due to basic physics and my DM said he could speak. I portrayed my character curled up with my arms crossed while falling through the sky. It’s a good thing I have an NPC companion with feather fall.

[@houraishiroyume5778]

I'm very new to DnD but i had something hilarious that happened at the 2nd session. I joined mid session with my friend as a dm. I was a changeling Bard, there was a Tiefling who accidentally turns into plants with her magic, a Barbarian and a birdman Monk who gains power through through the act of.... Lewdness. So after waiting for 2 hours at the first session to be introduced (i don't mind that) we were at a tavern sleeping when suddenly a noise was heard that woke up everyone. Did i mention Chad Thundercock was a Shadow Monk? Long story short he jumped out of the window head first like that one child in the simpsons

[@genericbackgroundcharacter4252]

In one campaign we were camping in the desert when a group of 7 dragons began swooping in to attack us. I use a scroll wall of iron in front of them and they roll 1s and 2s on their reflex saves and hit the wall. Those that didn't die from the impact fell and died from fall damage. Our Gm intended for this to be a hard drawn out fight where we were captured by the villain.

[@colossaltitan3546]

Just revisiting this video and now that "beloved friends over at neckbeardia" bit at the start has not aged very well

[@hogfry]

I was DMing a game last year where a player used wild shape and ate a bad guy... but the guy had a magically trapped Cape on. The trap would curse his killer by shrinking them to the size of a cat. Because he ingested said Cape breaking the curse went from temporary problem; to campaign derailing, comedy roadtrip)... So I had a hilariously aggressive, miniature, formerly orc, bear named Squigbog (the cleric renamed him squiggles for the rest of the campaign)... The cleric kept said angry orc cat bear in a papoose and threw him at the parties enemies for 8 months. He had to communicate in bear noises the whole time... (to his credit he sold the performance like tiny bear Denzel Washington.) Also the cleric had a ring of animal communication that I gave her during a side quest for 7 of those months... and she said NOTHING. When Squiggles found out he had been in character SO long he left the table shouting in bear grumbles! (Think Vin Diesel mumble growls but more beary)

[@Jun.Lullabyez]

Had an invisible high elf hurting us and casting spells and turning invisible, casted Faerie Fire found it, casted Blindness Deafness and it failed, its blind now and I am proficient in Poison, I laced my Warhammer and they had to make a save, failed by 5 or more and knocked unconscious, now it's blind and unconscious, and the party wailed on it.

[@michaelpomato45]

I love you guys and Neckbeardia too!

[@davemakesnoises]

Michael Pomato i love u bro

[@stevedd9725]

One of my PCs rolled under a dinosaur in battle but got slapped upside the head by it's large nutsack.

[@jameschen9467]

Our party was comprised of three spellcasters, a rogue, and me, a barb. (I don't remember the specifics well enough) We were investigating what was apparently a trade due to go down in this inn at the town, so we watched as each of the members making the deal went and rented one of the rooms upstairs, and our party of five took the remaining room. Once we were up there, one of our spellcasters went to the doors to one of the parties and knocked (to gather info? Not really sure even now) and when the people inside responded with "Who's there?" The player just goes: "Oh...this isn't the bathroom?" Props to him for coming up with that on the spot.

[@yoface2537]

Went to a town with several districts, any who have played skyrim probably know what I kept asking, "do you get to the cloud district very often" this went on for 10 minutes until we learned the cloud district had been replaced by an embassy.

[@slycooper334]

“Now introducing, the Great Heroes of the Dawnbreak War, Scourge of the Black Sun, and Saviors of Midgard, Im not kidding this is their group name, THE HR DEPARTMENT!”

[@xXCherryKoolAidXx]

One of my favorite moments was when my players were making their way through a hideout. This is a Sci-fi home brew campaign, and they were chasing a thief so they could kill her and gain passage to speak with the leader of the underground mercenaries. The hideout consisted of 20 chambers connected by portals; somebody would roll a D20 when going through a portal, and their roll determined which of the rooms they ended up in at random. The guys eventually made their way to ‘The Smokeroom’, where people and aliens were absolutely stoned on ALL the drugs. There were illegal substances everywhere and the room was covered with a thick haze that would give the players a contact high the second they stepped away from the portal. Another D20 roll determined how intense it was. One player rolled a natural 1 and started tripping balls so badly that he shit his pants. He was on the ground hallucinating all kinds of wild stuff and the other player (who didn’t get nearly as high) had to sling him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes because his stoned friend forgot how his legs worked. They both rode out the high and made it through the dungeon nonetheless! There were so many highlights from that dungeon and I’m super hyped for the next one!

[@andrewnihart7716]

Found you from neckberdia so fucking glad i did.

[@amberkat8147]

"More shoes!" I was not expecting that, tbh.

[@Rain0and0Thunder]

I got one for you and this was recently during a Pathfinder rp with the group I play in. My boyfriend is the GM so sometimes I think he lets me get away with more then I should. Anyway, I was playing a halfling bard and had taken a verity of strange abilities and spells. One of them cause....well two people to get quite amorous with one another. I did this as a handful of Orcs came charging into the room we were currently in after they had broke the barricade we set up for them in the room across the hall. First Orc looks over at his buddy. "I..I love you." and proceeds to try and smooch him whilst the other Orc is shoving him. "Ge offa me, what you think your doing?" I cracked up but the other members in my group looked ill and we were all finally freed from this sight with a crit fireball. XD

[@funnybone6219]

In my first d&d battle I killed an ork by punching myself in the face

[@SamuelAna4Ever]

These were a lot of fun to listen to. Thanks.

[@christo_unlimited]

The funniest story I can think of comes from my first campain and our Goat-themed Warlock, Crixus. Our DM gave us all magic items connected to our characters, and Crixus got a magic cloak, that allowed him to use charges to reduce damage taken or summon 2d4+2 goats. In the battle after he got it we were fighting a boss from earlier in the campain, and Crixus summoned 9 goats, completely blocking movement for the Boss and his Hellhound. Each goat took a turn when Crixus took a turn, so an eldrich blast and 9 goats later, the boss goes down. After that, the Hellhound was easy work. TLDR: A goat Warlock beat a boss by summoning 2d4+2 goats.

[@sundae_z]

One time, I was playing Candlekeep with some friends. We played D&D at the comic store in our town, so we ran multiple campaigns at once. Regardless, I was using my secondary character: A mute tiefling wizard. Anyways, we were playing Candlekeep, and we were traveling through this…book world with an old wizard. We had gone into a room with fairy dragons in it, which no one remembered except Lee, but that’s besides the point for now. Anyways, Nolan and someone else (it’s been a while and I don’t remember his name, let’s call him Sean) had been messing around with the arrows the entire time: Taking each other’s arrows, stealing everyone else’s arrows, etc. So, we’re in the room with the fairy dragons, and one of the fairy dragons steals one of Nolan’s arrows. He immediately pinned it on Sean, who then accused Nolan of stealing the arrows after his got stolen by a fairy dragon. This started a full-blown fight with Nolan and Sean yelling at each other for stealing arrows. The wizard was nervous by the exchange, especially when they started blaming him. Lee then remembered the fairy dragons but chose not to say anything. I knew he knew something and started pressing him. He still refused. Eventually, it turned into everyone yelling at each other, about either the arrows being stolen or about what Lee knew. Lee eventually gave in, and then that’s when the dragons made themselves known. With the dragons still stealing arrows, Nolan attempted to fly up and get them back, flapping his arms up and down, Lee holding him back (Spoiler alert: Nolan’s character couldn’t fly in the first place and I don’t know why he tried). Then came the dragon breath. Nolan and Sean took fairy dragon breath straight to the face. And then they essentially acted like they were fricking drunk. We did use this as an opportunity to switch up the arrows to make the split more fair. Seriously though, (laugh), they were acting like drunks. It was golden. Another time, during a different campaign, Lee started a chicken uprising. I won’t go into too much detail, but after a crazy thing that happened (got a bunch of chickens killed), Lee got separated from the rest of the party. We then heard his voice echoing across the village, screaming, “CHICKEN RIGHTS!” We followed the sound to find him leading a chicken uprising. Another campaign, Nolan essentially turned the village into Soviets. No kidding, Nolan was supposed to be giving an inspirational speech, and then the DM started playing the Soviet Union theme in the background, and everyone lost it. It was amazing.

[@nedflandersmustache]

Old Cheeser got me dying 😭😭😭

[@AnimeVampire234]

yes please more of the funniest dnd stories. the first and the last story here were great lol

[@Charles-mz7rm]

During the first session, a spiritual being offered a cursed weapon to whoever wanted it. It was supposed to be a "duh, don't take this" kind of thing. As we were walking away, the warrior overpowered the rest of us, ran back, and accepted the weapon (an enchanted sword that probably should not have been able to be found for several levels). He was kicking butt for a few sessions, until it suddenly increased in weight from 6lb to 100lbs, lost all of its enchantments, and it became bound to him. He barely had the strength to carry this thing by itself without combat penalty. He was forced to haul around this dead weight on his back until he found an enchanter that was able to remove the bond.

[@aeon3vale4]

I had a campaign where the main plot is to prevent a horrible future from happening. A time traveling wizard asked for our help and through a tower we were able to travel to and from the future. The time traveling was a game mechanic where we would later be able to travel between the past and future to either solve puzzles or prevent certain events by knowing when and where they happen. But one of the players go time travel wrong as he believed that we should get our future selves to aid us. I said the million dollar response, "That's not how time travel works." We then got into a hilarious 30 minute argument on how time travel works as we reference movies that include time travel. I had to literally get up, go to the white board and start doing the timeline explanation from Back to the Future 2. I never felt so Doc Brown in my life. We all agreed that is what our characters did for the first 30 minutes of their journey.

[@The_Biscuit_From_Heaven]

When my players went into the Redbrand hideout, our ranger-druid actually persuaded the Nothic to kill everyone in the hideout besides themselves, then leave. Hence, Iarno died and he didn't even know it. They were just looting the entire place and getting ready to take it over

[@rickbirch8346]

We had an annoying player in our group that I'll call Bob. Bob had managed to get a wish, but held off on making it right away because he wanted to think about is to make the perfect wish with precise wording so that the DM couldn't mess with him in any way. Later, we finish the adventure we were playing and started to divvy up the loot, which contained some really good stuff that multiple players wanted and an argument broke out over it. Bob, getting frustrated from all the yelling and arguing, yells "I wish you'd all shut the hell up!" Loud enough to be heard over the argument, the DM says "Everyone shut up!", which we all did, "Wish granted."

[@somethingderpy5995]

Can't wait for the DND game 50k

[@jamesherndon5258]

my last DnD campaign (I joined late and was working on my Character at the time) anyway at that point our party consisted of .. a VERY lawful good monk (hated all evil creatures and attacked them on sight), a dragonborn paladin of bahamut, a human bard (who played with a thick (and insulting fake) Indian accent), a half elf ranger, and a sorcerer. to start they stumble into the lair of an almost god level mind flayer. Monk IMMEDIATELY attacks and to make long story short gets everyone but the bard charisma zeroed (or as we termed it ugly coma). now then .... the bard is the humor in this story. during this fight the mind flayer tangles the bard in its tentacles and immediately the bar buffs his dex and starts to slither as dm described like an oiled cooked spaghetti and the mind flayer spent two rounds trying to get said bard in grip. mean while the bard boosts his charisma to around 45 (level 11s didn't pay attention to the spell chain this guy let off) and then convinces this god level mind flayer that he is the mind flayers long lost friend and that the idiot that attacked him was a servant and to spare him to which the mind flayer believed took them all back to his lair served dinner for the unexpected guests in the mean time the bard spent a week getting the paladins cha up to be able to cast again to start reviving the rest of the party leaving the monk in his ugly coma until they were far away. and that is how our Indian bard lied to for all intents and purposes a god and got away with it and the rest of the party.

[@josephkahn5625]

First time I DMed we spent the first 30 minutes rolling for “member” size. The highest was the warlock/ranger imp.

[@ZorillaMyrid181]

Wait is this the guy that used to use Text to Speech? If he changed because of COPPA, that has to have been the best thing that happened to this channel, I love this guy’s voice

[@willowproxy4346]

The first story reminds me of one of my friends/former players. Whenever there were two opposing groups and two big monsters at the same time he'd always be like "We'll just sit back and let them fight it out while we sit back and then finish off whomever is left." This maybe worked 2 out of 10 times, because the party was usually either already in combat with one when the other one showed up or they'd be standing right by the fight waiting and acting like they weren't going to get pulled into it. Me as DM "Um no. This is a triple threat free for all now."

[@autumnleaves9040]

"With his eyes still on!" Love that

[@Forsakei]

Oh man. I was in an old friend's game. This was my first "d&d campaignc (it was heavily homebrewed), but I rolled what was essentially a god among men, not having anything low than a 14. This was in right front of the DM, mind you. The setting was post-apocalyptic zombies, and I chose the role of a sniper. My first roll of the game came as a introduction, where I was going to help the established party by shooting some "infected" that were surrounding them... it was a 1. Ended up shooting an NPC that the group was buddies with. Good time.

[@Ninjaheiro]

I was playing with my brother. Me as the DM him as a chaotic tiefling. He entered a city that was surrounded by a giant wall and metal gate, so it would be difficult to sneak out or in. So being the chaotic player he was decided to burn down an orphanage. Lol he didn’t last long after that. The city guards managed to capture him then hung him at the gallows

[@thefirstofthelastones8952]

If I ever try out a Dungeons & Dragons session I shall make a Dwarf Cleric and his phrase will be "I kick ass for the lord"