She's Pregnant & I don't love her

[@thatsheavydude]

Wish I could be a bit more like Elliot. My biggest regret is that I think too much and don't live enough.

[@johnmag202]

thatsheavydude how bout now

[@MARIN7785]

Yes, how about now?

[@mannyclav]

Yeah, how about now?

[@EmilyC-ve9jq]

wow brilliance. Came across your page initially because of the fitness aspect, but encountered so much more … pleasantly

[@stephanrosa5182]

This friends with benefits shit needs to stop period. If you are a man or a woman doing this stuff just think about the consequences,and if you don't love the person don't have sex until you know you are ready why does this world have to be complicated.

[@shahabsamkan4027]

fuck up western culture my friend ! no offece though

[@BarriosGroupie]

Wow, this dude is a gifted counselor, and I mean this.

[@SergeantDolce]

Probably one of your best videos and I am just coming across it. As a guy, I can say thats real talk. Your a great mentor brother, keep the info coming.

[@82dirtydozen]

As a father I haven't experienced true love until I had my son even though I wasn't ready but I never would regret it

[@phoenixliu]

You're the most un-likely spiritual guru I've ever met, in a good way. I love you. Thank you.

[@reservoirdog77881]

Most guys who grow up without a Father present have serious issues. Look at statistics from the prison population, most did not have a father figure. One of the main reasons we live in a world where men dont act like men is this issue. A woman cant provide certain things no matter how strong.

[@FortHYPEZONE]

George Cast nkgga what

[@shplog2]

Thanks Elliot... She's 10 days late. Similar situation, but I'm not being insensitive to her wishes to keep the child if she wants. No ultimatums. Acceptance. I'm a grown 34 year old with no kids, and she's pretty nuts and kind of a mess, but I'll be the man. Thank you.

[@nibirux5410]

Ryanem damn bro i needed to hear that . Going through the same rhing... Harassment, excessive phone calls , etc.. Any suggestions?? She says she misses me but we only known each other for 2 months.. I bearly know her. We were just friends with benefits smh. Shes nuts

[@heytoua1431]

it was at that moment, he knew....he fucked up

[@rawwby10]

I was in the same situation! Now I can't even imagine life with out my son

[@grapejuice0]

Elliott enriches my life in so many ways. My dad died when I was 12, before I had any big questions about life and I feel that elliott has been able to be that positive male role model that I have been searching for for so long. Thank you Elliott, I love you.

[@sunfireThu]

[cont.] What's happened has happened, and you can't change the past. Be with the girl through her pregnancy and help her get through this coming 9 months (if she accepts it, of course). As far as things between you and her goes, think about it after she has delivered the kid. Here is the tricky part: it will be painful/regretful regardless of the option you take. BUT you need to choose the option that is less painful to YOU in the long run.

[@willhernandez6753]

I'm going through this as we speak. I don't even want to be cruel and it's bringing this ugly side of me.

[@puggyman09]

This is a messed up situation but this is how it happens brah gotta be more careful about who you lay down with

[@user-msjazzy]

How about just using protection

[@HuNtrEsS24tt]

My mom kept a diary when i was a little girl, now that she's gone, it was nice reading her thoughts and what she was going through. It gave me a chance to know her in a different light, I;m so glad she did

[@ilovekettlechips]

Used to watch this channel everyday 10 years ago and currently going through this same situation. Literally just popped on my feed, that's so crazy how things work

[@Crazylalalalala]

that situation sucks. fact that her mom is saying that they dont need his help means nothing. he still has legal responsibilities to the child/mother. i guess you rip what you sow. except it, embrace it, and be the best father you can be.

[@SepherStar]

Here's the deal. Raising kids does not have to be in the context of a romantic relationship between the parents. It's a partnership where you are united in raising the kid. You and the mother are members of a team, and like any team, you need a game plan.

[@SepherStar]

***** Mom and dad are the team.

[@SepherStar]

***** For the better part of history, marriages based on romantic love have been rare. Historically, marriages were often arrange by parents, and the purpose was to forge political ties, divide up the labor of life, and build a household, which increased one's prominence and power in society. I'm sure some people were miserable, but most people made due, and you can have a nice life with someone without having romantic feelings for them.

[@SepherStar]

***** Whether the parents are in love or not, the child with the highest quality of like will be the one with the parents who make a conscious choice to be good parents together.

[@SepherStar]

***** Parents don't need to have romantic feelings for each other to love each other or their children, and just because parents do have romantic feelings for each other, does not mean that translates to love for their children.

[@SepherStar]

***** Because I didn't see it. Humans are animals. Our species name is homo sapien sapien (wise wise man), and we are probably not the only species with the capacity for love, romantic or otherwise, but that's a different topic for a different day. You can love a person without loving them in a romantic way, and in fact only 43% of people claim to have married the love of their life and still be in love with them (that means that the partners of many of these individuals don't reciprocate the feelings), but people often manage to make a happy life anyway. Why does the idea of two people who are not in love working together to raise a family upset you so much?

[@suavejones8298]

This hit me spot on word for word im in the exact same situation. Holy shit

[@ElFinoMendoza]

Same bro, hmu if you want to talk. It doesn't even seem real at times.

[@dragenthatch3623]

@@ElFinoMendoza you need a talk man gimme a call 352-361-0869 or if anybody needs to talk for that matter

[@misscriss99]

Wow Elliott. In Gods hands. I have an almost 17 year old baby that her father didn't want. Though we were in a relationship, I can relate to this fathers freak out. My child's father and I have long since parties ways, but this beautiful gift from god has been the absolute light of my life, and ironically his too. There is no greater gift.

[@VellianoRosso]

Dude the notebook idea is awesome. Keeping a diary for your kid is a good idea, no matter what the circumstances.

[@Lovellyoungwolf]

Yeah Elliot is right. ive been dealing with this same exact situation for 2 yrs now. its hard sometimes but,it turned out to be ok,it really did lol. i love my son and im really glad that hes here now. it wasnt like that at first, it was a very detached feeling. but i let the experience with him build the love i have for him. just like you would when you meet a new friend. you dont really care for a new friend for the first meeting but after some fun times, they become the partner in crime.

[@FrAnkM128]

Thank you Elliott, I am experiencing a similar situation and I needed someone to give me a great advice like you just did. Thank you so much I want to meet you in person someday. In the meantime i send you a big hug

[@moonlitdreamsrc]

It can be a low moment in your life or a lack of forsight but never sleep with a girl who isn't on a ton of protection... because babies and stds are a life changing experience and frankly I never want either 🤔 my heart goes out to you mate I absolutely sh*t myself when I had a scare once and believe me... she didn't look anywhere near that hot 3 months down the line after eating too many biscuits and wearing no makeup 😝 when you meet the next one try and keep the image of her puking with a fat belly and stretchmarks in your mind before hand 'from the first time you see her'... It'll save the 10 years of shock it takes off your life the other way round 😓

[@marceenpeters9804]

I like your philosophy and that you keep it real. People need to be told the truth without all the poetry sometimes. It's neat what you're doing here on the tube and I gotta come back for more. Thank you! :)

[@mickjoseph9431]

Raw, Honest, Beautiful and Loving Elliot, my mother passed away a few years ago with cancer, I wished that she had kept a journal about me when I was younger, so I knew what she was going through. I now have a 3 year old child I will start one now, I think all parents should write a journal or at least keep notes on the back of photographs of special times. Thank you once again Elliot!!

[@mirawenya]

Hey, you can't force someone to have an abortion :S I'm pro-choice, but if someone don't want to, don't mess with it. If you fuck around, wear a condom. If you're a girl and really afraid to get pregnant, do the pill in addition. (It's easier to mess up the pill than messing up a condom.) Sometimes you get pregnant anyway though. But this was the consequence. It happened.The guy has to deal with it.

[@algram8541]

Nah it’s forced fatherhood. Just as wrong as forced motherhood.

[@mirawenya]

@@algram8541 9 years later, I'm for the guy being able to "legally abort". Still very much pro choice, and if someone wants the baby, no one should pressure them to abort. But the father should be able to opt out as well, cause that's as 50 50 as you can get when it comes to the abortion issue.

[@crvenazvezda3671]

Hello Elliott Im in the same situation, i cant sleep for nights. I started praying because now everyday, because i think its maybe gods solution for my unchristian life. I tried to manipulate her for abortion and im feeling guilty because id knew it is wrong. Now i accepts it more or less. The thing you said, about regret, its absolut true and helped me. Im not regreting the child, im regreting if i cant be there anoth and that the child has problems because of my action. I accept my action and im gonna stand up for the child. Im afraid to tell my parents and friends of that. Im gonna give the best, to be there and give the child a proper life and bring him the message of jesus, maybe they accept or not. Im gonna start now writing, this is maybe the best advice ive heard. Im gonna also make a fund and put every month money in it. Thank you very much. Im not sure if you gonna read this because the video is 10 years old and you have many subscribers. But if you read this or someone else who been in the same situation, i would be very thankful if we can get in contact. Now im not regreting more, i stand up and be the man and the father a child needs. Thank you very much May god protect you and your familiy Slava Bogu

[@MrHituptony]

I found myself writing a letter to you the other day on the exact same topic. I chose to be with the mother of my child, and see my son every day. He's the greatest and most beautiful thing I've ever had happen to me. I chose to have my hand on his steering wheel. I chose to tell him every day that I love him, instead of letting him find out later. I asked God to speak to me and guide me, and I was guided. I am almost in tears towards the end of this video. Thank you so much Elliot.

[@zizzon]

I learned to grow stronger from your programs, and this video helped me alot to grow stronger mentally as well. I really appreciate what you do. Thank you.

[@sunfireThu]

So you'd rather see a child grow up in a unhappy family with the mom and dad constantly arguing and cheating with others (resenting each other in the process, mind you) because they have no love towards each other, than let him/her live with the mom while the dad visits him on a periodic basis (while maintaining a friendly relationship with the mom)? You lady/sir have NO clue what it feels like for a couple to stay in a loveless relationship knowing they are sacrificing ONLY for the kid!

[@ps3Gamer101ablesquad]

SHIT HAPPENS! get over it

[@jindrichcink8378]

To that last part about praying... I will add my own experience; I was hitch-hiking 7000km from czech republic to georgia and back and I was extremely lucky whole journey. I really felt a hand of god, taking care of me. When I came back, my family told me, they was praying for me every single day. There is no space to describe it more, and it can look like I was simply just lucky, but there is that feeling in me that it was more than that. :-) peace and have a nice day :)

[@dre_nature7626]

Elliot this might have been the best message I have hward from u bro.👊👊👊

[@Marina23031]

wow, Elliot, I am impressed. you could just help so many people with your insights. Its good if men who dealt a lot with life and knowlege about it share there insights. you could just do youth help or any other. so many people go just judging and blaming without helping. so thanks for sharing. this comes from a psychology student.

[@SciPhi161]

wow elliot is becoming a dr. phil with all these relationship videos

[@MegaSuperbacon]

I'm not Elliot, but I may be able to help. I have had this type of issue and one of my greatest character strengths is that I can be completely disciplined to one subject and go 100% into it. I would advise you to take each of your interests and explore it completely. Pursue each one (individually of course) as if it was the only thing you ever cared about. Through that you will hopefully find what your true passion is and what your really strong hobbies/ interests are. Hope that helps.

[@rowandecker8473]

Bird: *CAW* *CAW* *CAW* *CAW* Translation: Yo Elliott! So I've been flying for about 3 months now. Making some real gains. Just wondering, are there any extra movements I can do to get those 18" wings? Thanks man! You're the best. ...Elliott? ELLIOTT?!?!

[@ramaferrer2721]

underrated comment, really make me laugh haha

[@KIRRRRU19]

Perspective is everything. You've followed your primal instincts, which anyone barely has any control over. Welcome to life, you have it, and you pass it on. Carry on and grow stronger.

[@SugarFreeTV]

Elliott, you're a brilliant man - physically and metaphysically. And IDK why people get mad that you speak about metaphysics, but in reality, I know that how you spoke about praying, you are doing that for those who just haven't made that deep of a connection. So, your words are heard by all ... rather, your INTENTION is picked up by all.

[@Josh-is-Lost93]

If my father did something like this it would have made all the difference. I grew up with only my mother and a abusive step father. Do the right thing man.

[@evilmeme3359]

Holy shit...I am always amazed how you manage to really pull me into the stream of your thoughts and how much in the moment your talking is, when you shortly think about what you've just said...while then finishing of with your "I'm done". You raised some negative thoughts in me with this whole 'sending love to the universe and bringing the unknown forces to spread it to the right place'(aka praying). But since i experienced that you are always right there must be something to it...

[@gordonroot7066]

Adoption is always an option

[@OmgEinfachNurOmg]

I dont even have this problem, but took so much with me. Thank you Elliott !!

[@RVCata]

Eating is essential for the survival of one individual. Sex is essential for the survival of a species. Either way , they're both natural. A short time of pleasure would not be worth a life altering event if that event was certain to happen. Which it pretty much never does with the proper precautions taken.

[@rossholmes7751]

It's a serious shitter being in this situation and I really wish I saw this video over a year ago when my ex got pregnant haha Instead I just juggled involvement with my kid, being young and studying but eventually cut my ex off completely because of how much she would thrive to depress me, tell me I'm a bad person etc etc. My plan now? Finish my studies, get a degree, get a career and then jump back on to getting to know and love my kid. I don't know if it's a good plan but I guess we'll find out in a year or two... Definitely going to buy a notebook and novel the shit out of my thoughts not only for the sake of what Elliott mentions about guilt and what not but also for when the demon woman that is my son's mother inevitably manipulates him to hate his dad, my written thoughts and feelings MIGHT just justify myself.

[@randjan8592]

+Ross Holmes she might not want to let you see the child or something. But I can tell you, that you should try. From my own experience...In a way... I love watching Eliot's videos, because of the weird and REAL people I meet here.

[@mawasim2002]

So refreshing to see a Real man on youtube!! I respect you 100%

[@TheRuizification]

yo elliot, i m in the same situation, my son was born August 20 2013 and i saw him at the hospital the day he was born. that was the only time. i was so stressed with my situation and so desperate not knowing what to do, blaming myself for what i thought it was a mistake and now i feel released. my financial situation barely alows me to survive. i have bills i haven t payed yet, i have no job, i'm to coward to go steal and rob, i'm to afraid to sell drugs, afraid of the jail. my life is fuckedup

[@crvenazvezda3671]

Hey Mate, i hope your and your child are good. Im in a similar situation. I just wanna say i feel you. I wish you everything good and may god help you.

[@RVCata]

Let's keep it real here , 99% of pregnancies happen because of lack of birth control , not malfunctions. While unprotected sex is exponentially better ,granted, it's not nearly as good as not having a kid. So yeah.

[@beamerawsomebest]

Step 3 was the law of attraction

[@safehaven3949]

Went thru a similar situation and I am so grateful they decided to terminate. I can’t fathom raising new kids in THIS day and age.

[@Sawaelo]

It's not fair that the condition the man makes the decision whether or not he wants to have unsafe sex is under a not so rational state of mind while the woman has all the power whether or not she's gonna have an abortion for a long period of time where she can reflect and make a calm decision. Seeing how this can seriously impact a man's life for his remaining days this should be more fair.

[@michaeldaly1851]

Theirs a saying that goes like "Two parents can't raise a child, it takes a village to do it" (Somewhere along those lines, I'm not sure) Weather or not the guy will be their for the child, the community the child will grow up in WILL affect him/her regardless of what the parent(s) do. He doesn't NEED to be their as long as the kid can grow up right with the right set of morals and principles.

[@moonsong4872]

I needed to hear this. Based on the title.......wasn’t what I expected but what I needed it. Thank you.

[@allierae1010]

I'm a girl and these videos never even pertain to me but I just love Elliott and could listen to him all day.

[@SadeMetsavirta]

I think it's really unfair for guys that they often have to end up paying child support for 18 year and are forced to become a parent when they are not ready. Of course women have to have the right over their own body but I think guys shouldn't have to pay child support or have anything to do with the kid if they say so right away and the woman decides to keep the baby anyway

[@CR7CRAKA]

Elliot, thru this video, you've truly been a guide to this and many other men out there in similar situations. You've been their big brothers, their dads, that one friend who enlightens and helps you see reality as it is . The baby will be born since the mother already made that choice, and this guy hasn't accepted that as the reality. His reaction was to flee...

[@Njderig]

ALWAYS pull out, my friends!

[@i-thalhawkins9813]

I love your show keep teaching brother god bless

[@bradleyblackster]

I was wondering where you were going with the whole notebook thing, but that was some seriously good advice!

[@VirtualBFFs]

Thank you for this! Wish the father of my child heard this when we went through it. Although we were together for 2.5 yrs when a child was on the scene he got scared and ran... To every man reading this, as Elliot says breathe into your balls...and just breathe...try and become the strongest version of yourself and trust me the rewards will come. Not saying it will be easy, but there are rewards for sure! I'm doing it all alone, so if I can...you can too. Good luck :)

[@ineedcoffee4893]

Great video Elliott. You are right about what the coming years will bring in terms of perceptions and regrets or guilt or, hopefully for him, the great things that come with parenting.

[@BB9203]

We need to understand that the universe doesn't ask questions

[@hype8912]

Awesome advice Elliott. Probably some of the best advice I've ever heard someone give to a new parent. Great video Elliott.

[@nanahc]

Yo Elliot, I understand what you mean when you say god(as im not a believer myself) and most of us dont think you should change your style but you could always just change the word god to fate or the fate's, gives the same meaning but allows people to fill it in with whatever they feel.

[@Blebona]

wow, elliot can help ANYBODY; and is helping EVERYBODY.

[@chazz256]

For half a second I swore he called the girl a bird. Lol.

[@thepursuitofsuccess9300]

I may be wrong but I think Elliot was referring to the calming effect prayer can have much like meditation. Anyhow I hope we can keep this discussion civil if it continues.

[@kme321]

This is a great video! Very well spoken and I can tell a lot of thought was put in this video.

[@andrefpereiraalves]

That was a good analogy, parents are only 1 hand !

[@UnrealSickness]

thanks so much Elliott, it is so easy for anyone to judge, but once someone gives you this kind of news, it cripples your sense of right and wrong, your moral judgment, i think is wrong but then everyone thinks im the one who's wrong, you just panic...you just want out : ( hurts me to think a child will be out there and i'm the bad guy who abandoned it, im not a bad guy, im just scared...

[@anirudhkumar4507]

No! It's his child too! He has the full right to force her! A baby is born by mutual consent of both parents noth by the consent of the mother! If the woman wants the baby & the man does not, then the woman should compensate the man with money for having the baby or the woman should abort the baby! #GenderEquality

[@drewjohnson4794]

Ok, is that so? Your parents must be so proud. Let me guess, you're dead beat, Dad ?

[@olechkaissocool]

Just letting you know that I appreciate the insightful and wise commentary of yours very much.

[@baldeepsingh4730]

Something similar happened to me. Will there be any other option instead of writing a journal? I want the baby to be part of my life and I want to love him and take care of him but I can’t marry his mom since I could be marrying someone else.

[@aahighondreams9105]

Elliott. .you should never apologize for believing in God. For those who are allergic to God should watch Godless videos elsewhere. Great advise. ..Although I believe MONEY n physical help is needed. Like you said n I believe. ..every child comes to this earth along with their provisions. Some prepare n save all their lives, war, weather, fire, earth quacks etc bring them to level zero. I met too many military service men/women n other professionals homeless. I went through great life to refugee to self employed in the other side of the world. ...never could I ever imagine being where I am today...great stuff mate. Keep up the good work. God bless you amen

[@Jaylyn231]

The above comment didn't say anything about staying in a loveless relationship, just that this guy can still be a father. You don't have to be married to someone to be apart of your childs life

[@alvesa3]

You are saying that it would be okay with you if a guy got you pregnant and left you to sacrifice your education/ career/ life for the child he is EQUALLY responsible for, while he goes along having recreational sex with other women? Do women of this generation have any self-respect?

[@Mexicola454]

That post combined with that avatar is fucking hilarious.

[@MrRyanfisher]

I like Elliot's "Man up and own it" advice.

[@Wolf.of.Gotham]

Dam dat boy's good... Elliot jus dropped the mic & walked off

[@dean18x]

you missed his point, which is that statistically, a child with two parents in their life grows up better equipped to handle life's challenges

[@deadcartmen]

Very well said Elliot! You are always so poetic and beautiful!

[@alvesa3]

"We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the courage to raise one" -- Barak Obama

[@dougieboy2000]

Elliot sheds great wisdom !!! keep them coming man!

[@mtmckenzie]

I'm surprised you would believe the Buddhist monk prayer bit.

[@iheartwarheads]

And what if the woman legally decides to not let her father see the baby and takes him to court so he A) Gets to see his kid only a few times a month B) Is coerced into paying child support for 18 years What about that, huh?

[@black9897]

well...he is right about family structure. as far as the "best" situation to raise a child.

[@sunfireThu]

I really appreciate you answering the guy's question in a totally non-critical way. It is a very easy task for people to look at him in a judgemental way and tell him what he should/should not have done, as long as they aren't the main character in the story. I also really appreciate you not asking him to marry the mom, because he will be physically there but not emotionally invested in it and she will know it. It will be hell for all three involved in the long run and will end up in divorce.

[@mightgai5571]

My ex girlfriend had an abortion...years on I feel like I'll never have a kid...and to be honest I wish I was in this guy's situation.

[@scarredcookie]

it depends on how the statistics were made and who was included in the statistics, because a lot of times it's the same statistical result as the XYY studies or the left/right brain etc.

[@SadeMetsavirta]

I don't know how I ended up here, but I think if she wants to keep the baby and the guy says he wants nothing to do with it from the get go she shouId be the one to take fuII responsibiIity for the baby... It's a whoIe different story if he just waIks out when it's too Iate. Sometimes birth controI can faiI and I am goddam thankfuI no one can ever force me to have a baby or become a mother when I'm not ready

[@FourLetterWurdz]

The book is a fantastic freakin' idea. I seriously wish I had that from my father, but... I guess running off and forgetting my existence is cool too.

[@stellailyayev8861]

oh Elliot I love you!! "Get a BOX of notebooks and start writing"

[@jetjames420]

People complaining about people saying "first" are just as bad.

[@MattDuarte11]

Wow Elliott that was harsh. Telling him the truth.

[@BryantJ31]

than he should distance himself completely until he can be there for that kid the way a father should be

[@MyklProductions1993]

Elliot you allways give such great advice to all of us.... thank you....

[@mrjones12468]

this could probably b a movie

[@chez9044]

I love the way he's going deeper and deeper, then pauses 3 seconds and "im done"

[@jadawhite2309]

Elliott you're brilliant! Love that idea, and I'm on board with your beliefs. Rock on, sugar! You're the best! Like the brother I wish I had!