She Wanted a Man Until Feminism Told Her Men Were Toxic | Hearit Stories

[@Solitaire001]

This sounds like long version of a sad joke I once read. In it a family finds out that their son got divorced. They thought the marriage was solid so they asked him why he got divorced. He looks at them and, with a sad expression, says "I got tired of being wrong all the time."

[@ace1gl]

Dude put up with this for months. If anyone starts to act like this it is time to move on.

[@shiangchingp5645]

Months? Shit, if my girl acted like that on day one, we would need to have a serious discussion

[@ThatGuy182545]

@@shiangchingp5645 That “serious discussion” should consist of her watching your back disappear into the distance.

[@invisible123-l9d]

Yet another man who cannot handle women being strong, and independent, and seeking respect and to be treated as an EQUAL. I pity you.

[@invisible123-l9d]

@@shiangchingp5645 YOU are another man who does not respect women, or treat women as your EQUAL, and cannot handle strong women.

[@douggordon9225]

No serious discussion. anyone that committed won’t listen, just leave.

[@isettech]

My wife picked up some of that in college when she was working on her degree. She immediately noticed when I stopped being baited into another fight, stopped opening car doors, etc. She was concerned enough to enlist the aid of a Christian Marriage Concealer. With his mediation, I was able to articulate my avoidance of conflict and criticism in an attempt to save our relationship. I made it clear I do not tolerate abuse, either physical or verbal when my best effort at something was treated as trash and I walked out stating, I'm not going to hit you", I'm going to go cool off from the abuse before I hit you" and walked out and turned off my phone. 2 hours later when I returned do discuss the issue as adults, she was still boiling over and started to verbally berate me. I made a U-turn at the door and simply stated, "Oh, I see you need more time to cool down". She tried restraining me from leaving again, even winding holding my coat as I peeled out of it making my escape. The next return was completely different after she reflected on her actions as I refused to be goaded into abuse, and refused to be abused. The next counseling session was interesting to say the least. She took it to heart,and worked very hard o mend the damage. It saved our marriage and relationship, as it was just about over. I never did open car doors for her again or offer to take her coat at a restaurant. From that we grew close. We even had a secret code for going to events where there might be trouble with extended family. If either of us was uncomfortable at an event, the code was to pass a quarter to the other, and the sign was "Get Me Out of Here NOW" in unspoken language. It allowed us to attend family events that would have been avoided to avoid a possible awkward situation. In our time together, we used it twice. One wedding reception, under the influence of alcohol degraded and the cops were called. By that time we were long gone. Another event, she handed me a dime and a nickel, and said "I owe you a dime" The message was clear. We left and avoided another disaster. Lost her to cancer and part of me died with her. It's been 9 years now, and I still remember the good times and the time we almost lost it. I am so thankful for the good Christian marriage counselor that saved our marriage. I'm still angry at her college professor that introduced her to toxic ideas. If you want to be a Nuclear family, forget the gender studies as it will destroy any chances you have at finding a lifetime partner in life.

[@victormontes7007]

Did she admit in front of you and the counselor that she was wrong?

[@isettech]

@@victormontes7007 After a while when the counselor laid out the pros and cons, yes. She understood a verbal attack on someone trying to not engage in a fight results in a retreat and lack of communication. The yes was weak, but with us re-establishing communications, without a tongue lashing, communications improved rapidly.

[@invisible123-l9d]

Sounds like you could not handle your wife being strong, and standing up for herself. She did not commit a crime, but you treated her like a criminal, and humiliated her. You threatened to hit her. You wanted a 'little woman', not a partner. You did not respect her, or see her as your EQUAL. You will whine like an infant, and have this reply removed.

[@nicka3680]

We men need to remember, we’re good on our own. It’s women who NEED us.

[@tungstenanderson5991]

Men need women to need them. And when women don't, that's when men want women to be uneducated, not to have jobs and be solely reliant.

[@thaddeuszukowski4633]

Women need men as much as men need women. This woman kept playing no-win games, so drop her. 67F feminist

[@invisible123-l9d]

Women are strong, and independent. Shame you cannot see that.

[@keithprice475]

@@invisible123-l9d Just like men, apparently! Where does THAT leave us all? Ships passing in the night?

[@anniedarkheart5224]

​@invisible123-l9d Can see it perfectly fine on social, the way they totally aren't begging for human ATMs.

[@randyoliva]

And still, the next day in class. She'll forget everything again 😂

[@williamj.dovejr.8613]

Ever notice how a lot of these feminist professors are not married or have children?

[@jackolantern147]

Yup. Look at the ones who are married. I've seen more lively men in a graveyard.

[@carlosenriqueulloa]

That's because most are men-hating lesbians.

[@andrewszigeti2174]

And were never asked out on a date in their teens and twenties.

[@chriswhinery]

Matt stayed 3 months longer than he should have. It's important to ghost them at the first sign of disrespect. How else are they going to learn?

[@cidchocobo6691]

Uh...you could just talk to them. Be firm about how it's disrespectful and then flip the situation on them and ask them if they would put up with that.

[@eneram8846]

​@@cidchocobo6691 aka try and discuss to only turn in another lecture about him being toxic.

[@The-Gate-House-Grognard]

​@cidchocobo6691 we have all tried reasoning for years. What makes you think it will suddenly work?

[@invisible123-l9d]

Yet you think that MEN disrespecting women is fine?

[@The-Gate-House-Grognard]

@@invisible123-l9d how do you get that from what he said?

[@kuvasz5252]

"In theory there is no difference between theory and practice - in practice there is" (Yogi Berra)

[@kennethsmith6367]

I love Yogi Berra quotes!!

[@paulfisher3e]

He is a fool to put up with this for more than 2 dates 😮😅

[@carlosenriqueulloa]

It's not real. It's a made-up story to make a point.

[@waffles9155]

The unbelievable part is her accepting responsibility for her actions at the end.😂😂😂😂

[@User-nx7rs]

One minute in I realized how sophie really is. Matt needs to run and ghost her for his own sanity. Sophie is a unhappy feminist.

[@enricohagn]

Are there "happy" feminists?

[@stwadoo]

Is there any other kind ?

[@paulscottrobson]

@@stwadoo Delusional ones ?

[@Left-2-stray]

Make's one wonder. Was it worth it?

[@Orxbane]

There's no such thing as a happy feminist.

[@thedavecorp]

The only winning move *is* NOT to play.

[@andykapsar4667]

would you like to play a game?

[@Elmerkeith-c5g]

WAR GAMES , 1983

[@Lichmaster_1]

You know it´s fake because she realizes that she was wrong.

[@GeoLawless]

“I’m exhausted from trying to be the man that she wants…” Why did the OP even try to do this in the first place? What does or will she ever possibly bring to the relationship that would justify changing one’s long-established and proven values?

[@draconisdragonheart4248]

Not a minute in and I say Matt run not walk away. She is a walking mine field.

[@gxr7777]

She is a future bitter cat lady.

[@SeawardMari]

🎯

[@robertstudley282]

I'd be gone... She’s insane... Whatever you say I'm out enjoy being single

[@ASPushkin51]

She subconsciously does not want this relationship.

[@stwadoo]

These stories would bring infinitely more value to a gender studies course than all the ridiculous ideological claptrap that young peoples minds are being infected with these days.

[@TheModelmaker1]

That’s how she controls you. By being contrary. Helping you grow is her label for controlling you.

[@johndavidson2365]

The only correct move is choosing not to play.

[@johnbutler1323]

The only reason he stuck around for three months was he was hoping she would get over her bullshit.

[@wendigos_eat_people7177]

That is impossible. Gender studies or women's studies is not only a bunch of hogwash but is very addictive to women ,and once she starts down that dark path it's almost impossible to break it.

[@patrickh6571]

If she gets upset because you take the bill, it's pretty sure she will lecture you if you split the bill or let her pay something about "responsibility of a man" 😂 Dude, let her complain, leave the bill on the table and get in your frigging car!

[@darthroden]

The moment women start using words like that it's time to say goodbye.

[@larrykheel2998]

I have a friend who's getting divorced now. He was unhappy very early in the marriage. He could do nothing right. When she "told" him to do something, if he asked how she wanted it, she offered nothing. After it was done it was always wrong. When she left the home her adult son stayed with his new stepfather.

[@ShaunHensley]

This story is a masterpiece. It's hitting every single contradiction😂

[@MrAmalsam]

Feminism is a game with no winning parameters. No point playing.

[@nickwatson5622]

As soon as this crap starts the relationship is over.

[@purelitenite]

I know the story this was inspired from... Matt gave her a second chance. She became impatient waiting for his proposal, so she began withholding intimacy. Matt dropped her off at her parents.

[@HearitStories]

And you're wrong.

[@purelitenite]

@ I could have sworn it was a story where they tried splitting the chores 50/50 and she broke down crying while trying to mow the lawn.

[@RobertWilson-p1t]

Sophie will still be single in 20 years and making videos on why men wont marry her.

[@davidnash8208]

I would have left as soon as she signed up for a course like that.

[@KillerBebe]

There should have been a third view involved in this, the view of the professor and her feminist man hating views because she herself does not have anyone

[@cesaravegah3787]

First time anyone tries to lecture you put the relationship on pause, have a calm talk to the other person about why does that, why thinks that is apropiate and 99.9% you will find that relitionship is not worth to mantein, applies to gfs, bfs and extended family.

[@dougwheeldon]

Drop out of the darn class and report the professor.

[@B1-268_Twenthe]

Sophie should analyse her own toxic behaviour.

[@cidchocobo6691]

That would require self reflection, a trait she lacks in spades.

[@ChestRockwell24]

I feel no sympathy for Matt. Why are some men so spineless?

[@Solitaire001]

I think it's because he is being patient because he really cares about her (enough to consider proposing to her three months ago) and hopes that she will change. Unfortunately for her, every man has a limit and this final "date" showed him that she would never change and finally killed his love for her.

[@TailzP]

"You did this to us! You did it! It's your fault!" - Eminem, 2000

[@enricohagn]

Simping brings nothing but misery 😂

[@wolfgangpagel6989]

It is not about the feminist ideas. It is about the energy, whether she is positively wanting to be together with him or not. Don't put up with people who imagine you to be an enemy.

[@kinosaga21]

Play stupidity games, win stupid prizes.

[@StevenMRA]

Feminist women really think they have the right to "correct" others, lecture others, and make everyone walk around on eggshells. THEN she critiques him thinking - what she's CONDITIONED him to do - so, no matter what he does he is wrong.

[@andrewcaballero743]

Always grab the parachute

[@petermartin9494]

Matt is a simp for staying with her that long. He should have checked her rude behavior the second it appeared and told her he was a man who did not put up with bs. If she did not like it she could leave.

[@JoelKellenProductions]

Good on the parents and the best friend for calling her out

[@kinosaga21]

"How can i fix it", thats the best part, you wont

[@Corbzer]

1 the guy stayed WAAAY longer then he should have. 2 he finally had enough grew a pair and broke it off with her. 3 her parents knew aboutt he possible marriage and even liked the man enough to actually defend his own actions against there daughter . 4 they even gave her VERY sound advice when lecturing her about it all hope she takes it to heart and learns from it. ((I dont think she will she will just hate men and listen to the prof nonsense I think))

[@StefanVeenstra]

How does someone qualify for academics on merit, when they cannot even grasp elementary level social interactions and think maltreatment is how to fix someone that doesn't need to be fixed?

[@ryuukaze2823]

More than "academic theories" I'd Say "bullcr@p theories"

[@brianfurlong2303]

And there it is. Truth.

[@rmhartman]

some masculine behaviors may be toxic. . but doctor Martinez believe that all masculine behaviors are toxic.

[@Ja_Schadenfreude]

Victimhood mentality is a real thing.

[@georgeprchal3924]

She sounds lovely.

[@popstarprincess123]

Or don’t work at al

[@jdzencelowcz]

I kinda wish there was a part 2, where Sophie talked to Doc M & she says Soph took the lessons completely outta context.

[@goatkiller666]

You fell for one of the classic blunders. It took me over 40yrs to realize that sometimes people say stuff they don’t mean. And worse, THEY don’t know they don’t mean it. She is mad at you, and doesn’t understand why. So when you do anything, she’s mad at you, assumes there’s a good reason, and lashes out at you for doing the thing. Even doing nothing is doing something. The actual thing you do doesn’t matter. You are looking for a pattern, so you can understand her fully rational complaint. But the pattern is you existing. Confront her. Make sure she doesn’t interrupt you, which she will want to do. Then list all of the mixed messages she’s sending, and suggest that what she’s actually mad about is none of those actions, it’s you, the actor. End by saying that as a fully autonomous person, she needs to figure out what’s really bothering her, and then communicate THAT. Because this whole thing where she lashes out at everything is toxic, and instead she should use her words to communicate her problem. Because you are also a fully autonomous person, and barring new information, she seems to be mad that you exist and keep interacting with her. And that if she’s this upset at you for existing in her life, there’s an easy fix: you stop being in her life. “If you dislike my presence this much, it seems like the only answer is to dump me.”

[@Orxbane]

Why go to any of that effort? There are 4 billion other women on the planet, and new ones turn 18 every day.

[@Menruleall]

Absolutely disgusting. She went into debt, so she could learn how to ruin a good relationship.

[@Communturk]

Schrödinger's Feminism on perfect display. Most people think it goes like this; 'heads I win, tails you lose.' Close, but not the truth my dear friends. In reality its 'heads I win, tails I DON'T lose.' Sophie could 'never lose' by criticizing all Matt's missteps, but Matt could never win because he (or any other person in reality) couldn't produce the proper action at the proper time. Mind reading is impossible. In essence, Sophie won every battle, but ultimately lost the war.

[@ThatGuy182545]

My guy you stuck with this relationship looooong after you should have left.

[@leomcmlx]

Professor MartinX

[@blacksunday4231]

Lol she definitely is a "Latinx" type and likely labels herself a "feminista"

[@rjroy8143]

Stop. It's this man's fault he's in this predicament. Dude. You should have set her straight when she first started this mess. You choose a weak woman, and you're too weak to keep her on the right path. Own your failure.

[@kinosaga21]

No, some of us actually have tolerance. Be glad he figured it out, some of you never do nor grow up from it.

[@StrangeUncle01]

Stop victim-blaming. Some of us just plain take longer to learn than others, but he got there in the end.

[@rjroy8143]

@@kinosaga21 I'm glad he (eventually) figured it out. This woman seeks guidance from outside herself. Had he nipped it in the bud, they might still be together.

[@rjroy8143]

@@StrangeUncle01 I'm glad he got there in the end. But he needs to stop being a victim. If "your" woman needs guidance, give her guidance. Don't let someone else guide her. You will end up like this.

[@StrangeUncle01]

@@rjroy8143 Agree, but he got there BEFORE this story was written, so telling him what a loser he WAS is not helping him in any way. It's just being a jerk. If you were scammed by a con-artist, how helpful would it be for me to tell you that you were stupid for trusting that person or handing them your money AFTER you'd realized you'd been scammed, reported it to the police, had the con-artist arrested, testified in court in court to have them locked up and gotten your money back? Would it be accurate to call you blind, weak or stupid after all that?

[@NotSleepy-r5y]

5 will get you 10 that Professor Martinez is single.

[@rmhartman]

This crap doesn't even work well in theory.

[@usamostwanted9798]

Now you ruined that man forever. Im sure this is just a story, but it's too close to reality.

[@keithprice475]

'Some things work better in theory than in practice'. No, not really - if they don't work in practice the theory HAS to be wrong!

[@ghostrider88jinetedelfanta31]

I can't help but wonder if Professor Martinez is married or has a boyfriend 🤔? If she does, is her marriage happy or failing? If unmarried, how long do her boyfriends last 🖤💔?

[@64xxxx]

Stay single. Been there done that. I feel sorry for the bear. I had enough of women's games in professional settings let alone personal ones. Once resigned on the spot from a charity shop doing voluntary work due to how the female manager spoke to me. The look on her face was priceless and from that moment I was done. It had been the last straw. Been talking to a woman of late out of curiosity and given up due to the games. Draw a line in the sand.

[@TheRealPureBlood]

Does anyone besides me realise that this is just an AI-generated story? You're nearly all commenting like it's real.

[@josephj7991]

Wud these woman really even want the man anymore after she "perfects" him? He wud not be the same person sbe was initially attracted to? She is Not the woman he was when they started dating? I wud never put up with a woman like this!

[@mailman63155]

She didn't go back to him, begging?

[@JohnHoffman-t4v]

Omg. Nothing you can say is right. Just dumb her and then ghost her. She’s not/worth the drama. Stay single men!!!

[@andrewszigeti2174]

Professor Martinez sounds like a bitter old spinster who wasn't asked out on a date, EVER. Sophie might have been able to salvage the relationship with Matt. A profound and genuine apology can go a long way, and so can an ongoing commitment to changing bad behavior. She just has to be willing to try. The uncontrollable variable is whether Matt is able to forgive her, which he might... or he might not.

[@Elmerkeith-c5g]

there's a meme going around the internet , ...."Congratulations , you played yourself"

[@josephj7991]

This is no way to live? I wud not stay in relationship like this? No reason to put up with her being so controlling him so much? I dont need to be fixed! She does! MGTOW!

[@zevsiegel4456]

How can I know if this story is really a recounting of real experiences or a made up homily that *could* have happened but primarily makes a moral point.

[@TBOOYY]

Is she acoustic?

[@treevenewson]

Walk away...

[@johnanderson4808]

Got the coveted Like and Subscribe for this one. Truth be told.

[@invisible123-l9d]

Sounds to me that he cannot handle a strong woman, who thinks for herself, and seeks to be respected, and treated as an EQUAL. He assumed that she was too weak to pull out a chair, or open a door, unable to contribute financially, and too weak to be out at events without his protection. Decisions should be made together, not his sole decision. He made decisions without discussing anything with her, such as where to go on dates, what they ate in restaurants, who paid, etc. He did not respect her. He planned weekends away, without asking her if she wanted to go, or where she may have wanted to go, assuming that her time was less valuable than his. HE would have demanded that she comply, and obey him, and not NONE of you would have judged him. Cue the boring abuse towards me.

[@Orxbane]

Found the harpy.

[@ClockworkGearhead]

This post was brought to you by ChatGPT.

[@goatkiller666]

“I’m merely guiding Matt through this process.” Did Matt request or consent to the process? Did he consent to you being the guide? Also, “guiding” someone requires you to show them the way. She’s been great at pointing out his failures, but until you explain the correct path, you’re not guiding, you’re bullying. Honestly, she’s taken actual problematic stuff and turned it into a very subtle form of gaslighting. And since OP forgot to get Matt’s consent to these changes… forgot to even tell him she had decided he would change… she is taking away his agency. Couching your bullying in the language of feminism plays right into hands of the red-hat people complaining about “woke” feminism just being about hating men. She is proving them right, which undermines the whole movement. And it’s pretty ton deaf to accuse him of micro aggressions as she finds fault with things she has previously liked about him, and then finds fault in him DOING WHAT SHE ASKED HIM TO DO. Honestly, this is the kind of bullshit TERFs get up to. And any plan that involves being like a TERF is a bad plan.

[@grondhole73]

lame

[@samsonx1606]

L🤣L!

[@cjsteadman6217]

The benefits of a higher education. She qualifies for a position at WalMart.

[@drl5002]

Probably overqualified for Walmart.

[@cjsteadman6217]

@@drl5002 Not really. A university degree that doesn't involve a HARD science makes you dumber.