The Sex Talk You Never Got feat. Sam Jolman

What if purity culture didn’t just steal sexual health from women, but stole it from men too? What does it mean for a man to have healthy sexuality? Today licensed counselor Sam Jolman joins us for The Sex Talk You Never Got.
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THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
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ALL ABOUT NEW RIVER FELLOWSHIP CHURCH
Pastor Joey Willis, Lead Pastor at New River Fellowship in Hudson Oaks, Texas.
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[@majicears]

Libido has connections to metabolic health as well. If a person is sick, diabetic, obese and all those diseases of modernity, you can't psych your way into libido.

[@tristazerbe8119]

This. My husband and I both have libido issues, he is diabetic among other problems and I have chronic pain and hormone issues.

[@rosaliebarton9724]

Sheila, you are looking lovely and relaxed and cute and young. Just starting this video. Have missed you in May. Glad you got a break !

[@MalloryNewcomb]

Glad you are doing well Sheila ❤ This guy ROCKS. I may have to do a rewatch for all the notes I need to make on this. His idea about sexuality being an area where so few meaningful conversations happen and boys are left to figure it out on their own… I think that happens to a lot of Christian kids!

[@ccarlton4511]

Idk... maybe it's just me, but anyone random looking at me with anything other than neutrality makes me pretty uncomfortable (ie, exposed).

[@mgold7503]

One question, I have a tween son. How can we inoculate boys against red-pillers, theobros, and misogyny?

[@brighidmcmullen9577]

I think one of the ways is to talk honestly about what women and girls go through and what it means to treat them with respect. Understanding helps develop empathy. A lot of times, boys know so little about the female body and it creates disdain and disgust, which then leads them to see women as less than them. A huge part of protecting boys from these red pill messages needs to start when they are very small. Teaching them consent from toddlerhood. If a friend doesn't want a hug then they need to listen to their words and respect that friend's space. Since your boys are a bit older, talk about catcalling and sexual harassment. Talk about how 1 in 4 women experience sexual assualt. Talk about how consent needs to be freely given and if it isn't an enthusiastic yes then it is a no. Point out the harmful messages now and have talks about the ways they are wrong and harmful. When watching a show or movie as a family if you see an example of someone asking for a kiss, point it out and talk about it and how consent isn't all or nothing and can be withdrawn at any time.

[@sanctuarystone]

I so appreciate all you are doing, Sheila. I will be getting Sam's book, and I enjoyed this program immensely. Such a valuable resource!🕊

[@bethcaskey175]

I love your hair!

[@jeffreyzaleski412]

HI THERE YOU GUYS HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GREAT DAY.

[@Jett-mf2dw]

My husband and I both never got to play as kids. We're very hardworking, I think that hurts us. We always put off sex, because there is so much work to do. Especially during gardening season. Good info.

[@stregalilith]

God bless you for asking this question! It is THE most important question of our culture at this moment in time❤❤❤

[@stregalilith]

This was directed at mgold’s question below. And I’m so heartened that Sam is from Colorado Springs where Focus on the Family has done such immense harm to marriage and the family for two generations 😂❤❤

[@yeshuaiscomin]

I think it is true that an arrogant or narcissistic man can be unmoved by beauty but the same can be said for a man that has a hard heart. He is numb and isn’t moved by anything. He isn’t arrogant or narcissistic; just broken and frozen.

[@pmc2999]

Absolutely. I could never get on board with the Christians who didn't want sex taught in school. Christian kids were getting nothing because the fact is Christians find sex to embarrassing to talk about. Somehow it seems vaguely unChristian so best ignored. I'm 63 my mom is 97 we have never discussed sex and dad died but I doubt he would have said anything either. (Since I'm the daughter) There is absolutely nothing wrong with Christians and non-Christian getting together and arranging for actual biological teaching about teenagers and what's happening to their bodies and what they need to understand. Both groups are free to teach the moral or ethical or religious meanings behind sex to their respective children. And yes I hope the church does better than what I learned 45 years ago.

[@renearosser1466]

I like your haircut