Shit Talk, Consumerism, Moms | The Sarah Silverman Podcast

[@tmxcomics]

It was fantastic meeting Sarah and RORRRYY! Thank you so much and thank you Chelsea and Becky! Leah was there too lol

[@tmxcomics]

@Anderson Henderson yo! Didn't Rory kill it, even under the extremely difficult circumstances?

[@tmxcomics]

@Anderson Henderson if you were really there he was the opener. I guess you weren't really there lol

[@sophiel362]

TOAD! 🐸 i'm super jealous

[@sophiel362]

@@tmxcomics what happened? in what way were the circumstances extremely difficult?

[@tmxcomics]

@@sophiel362 hey!! There were some hecklers. Security took care of it.

[@crackthefoundation_]

This podcast needs chapters! Love you Sarah!

[@aparhelger]

I love the segment about how we outgrow friendships and relationships with others. When life pushes us in a different direction, we grow and become better people.

[@neilchapman2929]

Everting I listen to this I find myself feeling what your callers are feeling ☺️ the lady who needs a friend I’ll be your friend. The man who is new to Seattle I’ll be your friend. 🥰

[@ericdoddatl1]

Loved the show in Atlanta!! You and Rory rocked!

[@elishaminor2900]

Always insightful

[@franrhymes]

Good talk about telling people that are on their way out that it's really okay for them to do that.

[@patricklavoie-mclellan]

Thank you Sarah for everything and for your podcast, I went to many therapy it help so much and I still have hard times but listening to you, and with the questions from your callers, feel like I’m still in therapy, I even take note, not kidding, constantly working on myself. And I even help my friends with some of the answers you gave. (And by the way, most of the times, it’s kind what we learn in therapy. For me you are qualify) You help save my life thank you, from my friends and family too, they are thanking you!

[@ashleighcleaver9009]

40:10 my mum did thus for my pop who passed in 2019 and he passed not long after that. And me and my aunty were there for my nan in her last few days alive back in 2021 to let her know we are here for her and that its okay to go. However sepsis is horrible and she went off life support. She wanted to be with my pop for year's so we were lucky so lucky to had her stay for so many year's 🙏💟

[@Vs35796]

Love your podcast and absolutely loved your concert in Chicago!! Thanks! Rory was great too!

[@MNcreampied]

We should bring more positivity to our questions and call ins :)

[@racheller8753]

Sarah whatever you're doing with your face skin regiment keep it up the picture that you showed with your fans you look about twenty, on the podcast you look so so young !! Good for you girl, you're amazingly talented, smart and beautiful! Hell yeah!

[@lauracohen4914]

Consider coming to Dallas!

[@Forestmcmillin1]

Sarah and Whitney post at the same time and I feel like it’s an unspoken competition between their podcasts

[@a.s.jackson8203]

Do most people listen at the same time? I never listen at the same time.

[@lorikasparek7059]

I love you so much! Thank you for being YOU! 🌟

[@anneefreres3299]

Awwwww I love that the jersey meet cute went well

[@robynwong749]

Sarah…FORGIVE ME!!! LOL! My adorable husband and I met you outside of the Chicago theater last Saturday after your show. Husband surprised me with tickets for Valentine’s Day and we drove 5 hours to the show from Cincinnati. We dont get to spend much time together because he works out of town five days a week for the last 6 years so our weekend trips together are a big deal. We decided to wait to see you after the show because the alley to the theater butted up to the alley of the Julien Hotel where we stayed. I have to apologize or I will forever be cringing!!! We were maybe the second to last couple you were gracious enough to talk to and I feel like a schmuck because I was trying SO HARD to not take up your precious time that I spoke a mile a minute and I grabbed and hugged you…thats not cool of me! I don’t normally just touch people and I felt so stupid after the fact. You were just the sweetest and I adore you. I love your podcast, standup, voice work and America, I love you! Was something that got me through the administrations of which we do not speak! You are an amazing light in this world and I wish I hadn’t been as excited as a lapdog that piddles on the carpet in that moment and been able to articulate that to you. I love you!!!!

[@ladyjane8163]

🎶 Please come to Boston in the Springtime 🎶 🌱 🎶

[@ElectrickSoundz]

Great hun on the other line hilarious love you 🎉❤😂

[@justinbrain]

So happy you're doing these podcasts. You, lady, just seem to improve my often shit moods, which is cool. Yeah so thanks for being.

[@Clyde-lb5fe]

Hi Sarah, your tour doesn't even come close to my locale in Oklahoma. Not even Dallas or KC. I want to see u. One of your great fans, Van

[@ladyjane8163]

Hello Sarah 💕😘💕

[@RebelGirlMedia]

I am dealing with my last grandparent dying. Just explained death doula to my family today because it seems we end up here often….

[@StephSellsStuffbytheSeashore]

🌼🌼🌼 I love you 🌼🌼🌼

[@Davett53]

My tip for the 42 year old guy who quit his job,.....he's got an amazing voice,....I heard a French accent, he should look to get work as a voice actor. He should look for open calls for voice actors. Also he should do some volunteer work,..of course there is no money,....but he would meet new people, and new connections. He'd be useful, (helping others in need) and he could "network" with the other volunteers, who might have some ideas or know of links to jobs. Volunteering for a cause, or to help a non-profit, like an art gallery, will bring him into contact with interesting people. Mold is gross, but if it isn't near your food, or your bed, or that close to your nose,....just ignore it. God knows how much mold is in my 100 year old house, which had been a rental unit for almost 40 years, before I bought it. I keep my bedroom, and kitchen as clean as possible. ( I don't want to even think about all the mold that may be behind the wall panels). Out of sight, is out of mind.

[@kittybear9693]

Caller w friend issue- same I walked away.

[@HereBeRabbit]

Sarah be my grandmother!👵

[@roncrocker1343]

Tex Beneke rocks

[@jasonmacdonald5426]

i love your cli!, xox

[@tecpaocelotl]

That other Sarah Silverman could pass as your daughter. Lol.

[@ladyjane8163]

Sarah 💕 I have a question ❓❓❓ That only came to my mind , 🎶 Yesterday 🎶 I can not write this anywhere on social media.. Not because, it's rude, because... well. Maybe childish or.. I'm a dumb blonde..? 😉 My friends told me today. What I ask is very insightful.. I don't know how to Email you with this .. Open End Question,❓⁉️⁉️🤔 Please, if you have the time to respond.. This topic is on your level. I can't even post this question to my life long friends... & I have many songs written about with my words and name ⭐ in them . All of a suppen, I feel shy, ashamed to ask to my life long friends? It's bloody .. ¿?! With all my forever laughing at all you put out with Respect. Lady Jane 💕 😊 💕

[@66callisto]

Keep oil and gas prices up lol it serves a purpose. People NEED to only use solar or electric. Its better for the earth

[@adambogdaowicz2266]

No new hampshire I see 😑

[@baskoning9896]

I can remember when Sarah was fresh, and not yet sold out to the global corporate fascists to spew propaganda.

[@sunsetmind5794]

Yesterday’s big rant edited and added to. Worth the read. Have a good one, Suri-issly cue Drake’s Make Me Proud Ok ladies-I’m talking to Sarah Weinshenk, Jenny Slate, Sarah Silverman, and Whitney Cummings: the Mt. Rushmore of attractive female long-haired , Semitic or Semitic-looking brunette comedians… wassup this was gonna happen, and here we are-already: Let the bidding war for my writing services begin Wa….ssup It’s gonna be some Sotherby’s up in this bitch, ain’t no thang. Consider this my writing sample if you’re unfamiliar with my work. Ok, now here it is. Sliding scale. Obviously, I don’t think the Shenk can dish out the B’s (Benjamins) like SS, Cummings, or Slate. So that’s the first problem. Lemme think it through (me sitting and thinking. Everyone’s waiting) Fuck it, sorry Shenks (point a peace sign at her with two fingers). This is America, and that means “get fat stacks”, anyone that knows anything knows that (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas). We’ll click it with the flic (that means we’ll make the movie) and you’ll be Waltering White in the storage space minus meth kingpin worries wassup (Breaking Bad tv show, he’s got ultimate fat stacks in a storage room). Plus, I forgot I’m already writing for you, for free, as in the Manifesting movie, I just realized that, wait…I’ll be right back (I walk away to think things through. Then I return) Alright, ladies, off the phones, alright listen up, Shenk gets a pass, why? She just does man…she just does. Executive decision. I forgot about the kc-Congdon. Hmm. Fuck it, I’ll write for Congdon. Wait, I am already doing that too-that’s cool, I forgot, in the movie, I’m sending her whole thing to Kill Bill Uma-level, not even hard, not to brag Yeah, I know, you four are asking: why doesn’t he just write for all of us? My shit’s too good to spread around-no, jk, I don’t know, I gotta keep things interesting, and this is interesting to me. Bidding war…I’m kinda freaky, wassup jk (?) It’s like how I want to do a cage match with David Cross one day, the Smarty pants Jew vs the not-as-smart Jew (that’s me). Someone just needs to show that guy wassup, even if he thinks he always knows everything about everything and oh, this is obviously right because I am saying it, the great and powerful Mr. Smarty Pants David Cross, ewwww (me making a fist) Well, there’s about to be an uprising in the male Jewish community. Those of us of lesser intelligence have said “enough!” It starts with me, the cage match, me vs him. Sorry, Sarah Silverman. Am I like one of those overly-wordy Jews (looks around, everyone’s looking down). How dare you, u all agree with her? I don’t care how many asses you can get in the seats for me, I will not be told by you wome-I mean, what I’m saying is, it’s very important to my creative process that it be unfettered, time wise. So I’d appreciate a turning down of the judgy level. Thank u. (to myself) Oh man, these people. (Then to them) Now back to the bidding war. (Me getting out bidding gavel and something to hit gavel on) Ok, so it’s Sarah S., Jenny, and wc So here it is. $9.99 a word. That’s where the bidding starts. (Switch to Dua Lipa’s Don’t Start Now, seriously-bidding business talk needs different music) You have to ask yourself, what is stopping me from hiring this man? I would answer for you with, well, nothing. Shit, buy a sentence for a B (that’s a Benjamin-$100-you guys know that) and I’ll throw in the next sentence for a Heeb (my urban slang for $50, Trademark, 2016). that’s half a B ($50). Buy three sentences, get three for a half Heeb each (3x$25=$75). I like throwing out my own “Urban”-type slang into the world and see if people start saying it. One day I will see an Aryan looking father hand his son some money and say, “now here’s half a Heeb, Conner. (leans in, quieter) Now go out there and Jew’em down at the- where would an Aryan kid try to Jew someone down.? Joke emergency…(to myself) luckily I have some of the greatest writers in America here (I turn back to the four) Hey hey what’s up? You guys, btw, are awesome. Sarah Silverman, your sweater looks great with those jeans, btw, just a random thought. Jenny Slate, those earrings work so well with your…uh… they go well…(everyone’s waiting, I’m looking around at them), they go well with your hair, yeah…so yeah, so, I was just having trouble with that joke about the Aryan family, Whitney Cummings, btw, I love your rings, is that a crystal? so yeah, I don’t know, if u guys could help with this joke, Sarah Shenks, btw, wait, love the big boots when it’s warm out, it totally works…so yeah, I was wondering, just changing the subject, for like, some help. With that joke. The Aryan kid…where would he Jew someone down? Fine. I’ll pay $9.99 a word. Life’s funny, right. 180’s everywhere- Wait, I got it-the playground! Ha ha, nailed it. I’ll fill in the rest later no big deal, Im good now, thanks tho Ok, yeah, Whitney Cummings, I agree, we’re all busy and have other shit to do, get to the point ur saying, I agree, thank u, I appreciate u, I appreciate you so much for rushing my artistic process….fine. Time to start the bidding war. Bidding starts at $9.99 in 3,2,1, boom mic drop, I exit (I poke head back in the room). Hit me up in the dm’s here with your bid. (I exit, then poke my head back in)-wassup (exits again)

[@racheller8753]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🪄

[@sunsetmind5794]

cue Drake’s Make Me Proud Ok ladies-I’m talking to Sarah Weinshenk, Jenny Slate, Sarah Silverman, and Whitney Cummings: the Mt. Rushmore of attractive female long-haired , Semitic or Semitic-looking brunette comedians… wassup this was gonna happen, and here we are-already: Let the bidding war for my writing services begin Wa….ssup It’s gonna be some Sotherby’s up in this bitch Ain’t no thang. If you don’t know my writing, I guess this is a sample of it. Enjoy. Ok, now here it is. Sliding scale. Obviously, I don’t think the Shenk can dish out the B’s like SS, Cummings, or Slate. So that’s the first problem. Lemme think it through (me sitting and thinking. Everyone’s waiting) Fuck it, sorry Shenks (point a peace sign at her with two fingers). This is America, and that means “get fat stacks”, anyone that knows anything knows that (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas). We’ll click it with the flic (that means we’ll make the movie) and you’ll be Waltering White in the storage space minus meth kingpin worries wassup (Breaking Bad tv show, he’s got ultimate fat stacks in a storage room). Plus, wait, I forgot I’m already writing for you, for free, as in the Manifesting movie, I just realized that, wait…I’ll be right back (I walk away to think things through. Then I return) Alright, ladies, off the phones, alright listen up, Shenk gets a pass, why? She just does man…she just does. Executive decision. I forgot about the kc-Congdon. Hmm. Fuck it, I’ll write for Congdon. Wait, I am already doing that too-that’s cool, I forgot, in the movie, I’m sending that shit to Kill Bill Uma-level, not even hard, not to brag Back to the bidding on my writing. So you other three, u three r Chalk n’ Slate and the SS-Express (rap group name for you, if u ever decide to go in that direction, Whitney Cummings, you’re Chalk-that one’s on the house), you three are doing the bidding on my writing. Thanks, btw, seriously Yeah, I know, you four are asking: why doesn’t he just write for all of us? My shit’s too good to spread around-no, jk, I don’t know, I gotta keep things interesting, and this is interesting to me. Bidding war…I’m kinda freaky, wassup jk (?) It’s like how I want to do a cage match with David Cross one day, the Smarty pants Jew vs the not-as-smart Jew (that’s me). Someone just needs to show that guy wassup, even if he thinks he always knows everything about everything and oh, this is obviously right because I am saying it, the great and powerful Mr. Smarty Pants David Cross, ewwww (me making a fist) Well, there’s about to be an uprising in the male Jewish community. Those of us of lesser intelligence have said “enough!” It starts with me, the cage match, me vs him. Sorry, Sarah Silverman. Am I like one of those overly-wordy Jews (looks around, everyone’s looking down). How dare you, u all agree with her? I don’t care how many asses you can get in the seats for me, I will not be told by you wome-I mean, what I’m saying is, it’s very important to my creative process that it be unfettered, time wise. So I’d appreciate a turning down of the judgy level. Thank u. (to myself) Oh man, these people. (Then to them) Now back to the bidding war. (Me getting out bidding gavel and something to hit gavel on) Ok, so it’s Sarah S., Jenny, and wc So here it is. $9.99 a word. That’s where the bidding starts. (Switch to Dua Lipa’s Don’t Start Now, seriously-bidding business talk needs different music) You have to ask yourself, what is stopping me from hiring this man? I would answer for you with, well, nothing. Shit, buy a sentence for a B (that’s a Benjamin-$100-you guys know that) and I’ll throw in the next sentence for a Heeb-that’s half a B ($50). Buy three sentences, get three for a half Heeb each (3x$25=$75). I like throwing out my own “Urban”-type slang into the world and see if people start saying it. The day I hear a stranger refer to $25 as a “half Heeb”, I will truly feel I’ve made a contribution to society. Ok, yeah, Whitney Cummings, I agree, we’re all busy and have other shit to do, get to the point ur saying, I agree, thank u, I appreciate u, I appreciate you so much for rushing my artistic process….fine. Time to start the bidding war. Bidding starts at $9.99 in 3,2,1, boom mic drop, I exit (I poke head back in the room). Hit me up in the dm’s here with your bid. (I exit, then poke my head back in)-wassup (exits again)

[@Twin-jl1bi]

Anybody know anything about the blackface she did, there was another guy that did it or something recently, anybody know if that was on a podcast recently?

[@Clyde-lb5fe]

It's interesting that u don't want to come off as a mental health counselor, but are definitely in those waters. Too much advice from u is expected by your callers.

[@Clyde-lb5fe]

Hi Sarah, I am going to disagree with your statement that what others say about u, is none of your biz. When people are making false statements vs. u and u end u being wrongly charged with a crime, I think I will have to deal with that person who is spewing lies about me. And u can't be kind to everyone u meet, not when they have f'd u with your life, especially more than once.

[@ctwatcher]

A podcast? Lol! Only she can do black face! Just extra for the nose.

[@racheller8753]

People leaving messages can you tell she doesn't like long messages and then this slow-talking..... 😐🙃

[@murrenbuchstansanger3787]

Jew

[@_o__o_]

she old

[@pladtoeputh]

15:56

[@imjstmichael86]

If u call one more person delicious I'm gonna get a restraining order on you and I don't even know u

[@bangarang74]

Is that the tour where you had security rough up a black man in black face?

[@sunsetmind5794]

Hey, it’s Noam, I leave like a lot of vms for you. That guy, wassup Here’s how some wordplay led to a snl-skit type idea that I put you in: Lesbian example, ok guys? Lesbian example, for all people, lesbian example for the world, let’s be an example of a lesbian example…… “New, from HBO and Infinity Fund Productions. this year’s breakout tv show-Lesbian Example They’re lipstick lesbians in a dipstick world. But Jiffy Lube didn’t know who they were hiring. They’re the hot girl you’ll never get. They got the book and the street smarts, the looks, and most importantly, primo ultimate comebacks to sexual harassment while working at a quicky oil change place. Together, they are the…. Lesbian Example Starring Jenny Slate: INT The Jiffy Lube. GERALDINE (Jenny Slate) is under a raised car, changing the oil. Male co-worker CHINO is watching her, rubbing chin. CHINO Damn, girl, how you fit into those jeans with that sweet booty? GERALDINE Funny you should ask. I had your girlfriend help me put them on after she munched on my cooch box. VO: Sarah Silverman: EXT. BETH (Sarah Silverman) is closing the garage door after close. CHINO comes up to her. BETH Yeah? CHINO Damn, girl, I was just sayin’, you got those titties, wassup BETH That’s true, I got titties, I got an ass, I got ten toes and ten fingers, what is this, Sesame Street, auto mechanics edition? No seriously, what’s wrong with you, don’t you know all the women that change oil here are gay as fuck? CHINO Not Jess. I could turn that shit, bet. BETH (gets out a stack of greasy 20s) I’ll give you odds. VO: Sarah Jessica Weinshenk as Bi-curious Jess: INT Under car, changing oil. CHINO’s there too. CHINO Man, baby, you got an ass that’ll last for days, for real. JESS (puts down wrench and wipes grease off hands). I don’t know what that means, exactly. It sounds like a compliment, but then it doesn’t. You know I’m basically gay. CHINO Yeah, Chicka, the basically, that’s the wiggle room tho, right? Not like, 100% JESS Let me tell you, I was in the low 90s before this conversation. but you’re moving the needle up, buddy. Now hand me the 10W-30 premium hose and scram. VO: With Zoey Daschenel as Jess’s straight sister, Ellen INT JESS and ELLEN’s apartment. They’re talking. ELLEN (strumming a eukalele) I’m just saying, isn’t there something nice about snuggling up to a man, like a real man? JESS (listening to eukalele, then finally grabs it and smashes it on the counter). Maybe we shouldn’t have decided to live together. VO: And Whitney Cummings, as the Jiffy Lube franchise owner. INT Owner’s office at Jiffy Lube. DELL (Whitney Cummings) is behind desk, talking to JESS, BETH, and GERALDINE. She’s holding a sample oil hose. DELL Listen, ladies, and you never heard this from me. JESS Heard what? DELL Exactly. Now we all know Chino is the fastest in the oil change business, so I gotta keep him around, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fuck with him, right? GERALDINE But how, I got home the other day and his drool was on the butt of my jeans, this is getting ridiculous. JESS How did you know it was his drool? So gross, btw GERALDINE Oh it was his drool, don’t worry about that. DELL He’s a drooling piggish no good waste of human flesh, but he’s my waste of human flesh. How he can get into those old models and do full service faster than all of you, idk, but (holds up hose)…speaking of butt BETH You’re not saying…no DELL When that little perv is on break, getting high and snoozing, with those little one-sies I hook you up with with the log-dropper trap door in the back, we just go up to him, he’s a side sleeper as we all know, open the door, insert oil hose with an enema attachment I found on Alibaba, and unleash the Valvoline surprise. He’ll get the picture you guys mean business. VO: It’s not Sex and the City, it’s not the L-word or Queer as Folk, it’s not Roseanne. It’s not even Kill Bill. Really. Actually, It’s kinda like Roseanne, when Roseanne was good. Lesbian Example. Coming this fall, check local listings