Should I Contact My Ex To Wish Them Happy Birthday, New Year, Christmas, or Congratulate?

[@CorporateQueen]

No contact is no contact. Give them the thoughtful gift of your loss..

[@Omnitrix8]

That is savage

[@CorporateQueen]

@@Omnitrix8 A little, but deserved.

[@gurniwazsingh8609]

Yeah!

[@gabbymontoya2085]

I agree

[@juliet3227]

Well said.

[@jolie3706]

Give them the gift of your absence

[@lornemalvo565]

Agreed. Five years. she was my Priority for five Damn years

[@sheridandy]

Got em👏

[@nickc3250]

Angelina Jolie 💯

[@neogbfe3587]

The gift of absence, is the best gift. Usually the dumper wants to control the end. These individuals love a FB birthday timeline. They love the validation and if you stick around, they may talk to you. So is it worth being dumped and staying friends or wishing a happy birthday?..NO, unless you dont value yourself. That's what goodbyes are made for, you wish them the best.

[@milsvr4639]

Angelina Jolie exactly 👏

[@signsignsign74]

Today is my ex's birthday. I am giving her a nice gift of silence with a bow on top. I hope she likes it!

[@RealCoachLee]

Perfect! How thoughtful!

[@noziphothusi529]

@@RealCoachLee 😂😂👑

[@noiroblivion6565]

Oh no! Coach Lee didn’t say kill her.

[@danieleckmann8919]

Kinda curious as this was 2 months ago, did she ever reach out?

[@tlinjr]

@@danieleckmann8919 probably banging another dude by now

[@desecrator81]

In general the rule of thumb is to do the exact opposite what your emotions dictate.

[@areed2268]

But then arent you just lying to yourself...?

[@nickc3250]

Andrew Reed no you are being smart..

[@paladintactical8250]

truth!

[@arizonacolour8793]

@@areed2268 they dont want to see you emotional, they dont want your emotions. They want to feel attracted to you..

[@dankline9162]

This is why I fucked up so bad. Follow your heart? Not so much. More like follow theirs..

[@Janeintheok]

I'm a person of faith. Going no contact is easier for me, because I place the person in God's hands. I have faith that it will work out to the good for both of us.

[@kimochiwarui5324]

Bless You❤

[@joelruiz6440]

my ex broke contact and she wanted to meet at church. She never called me when she arrived. After service we met at the parking lot and she noticed I was in better shape, was happy about my baptism, saw me aligned with God; while she spiraled downhill. She did say she needed that sermon because it helped. She felt her reconnection with God. We were to meet 4 days later. She texted me the next day saying she was happy that she went to church. She followed up by saying: "Hey, I don't think I am ready to hang out with you . I hope you understand. " that hurt and all I said (a few hours later): "yeah that's cool" I felt she was overwhelmed that she cled the breakup but she got confused seeing me because I am a better version of myself and wasn't expecting that. It hurt that though

[@dekai8415]

As a man of faith myself i completely surrender my love life to God and I fully trust Him with that. I always pray if it's your willingness then you make it happen or if not then show me the reason to stay away from her.

[@prettydisabled9060]

My heart: Yes. My brain: Hell no.

[@mscisland]

See this is the thing about breakups. If they leave you after all the thing’s you’ve done for them. That ex of yours never loved you to begin with. If they truly “Loved” you. Wouldn’t you think they’d still be with you, and you wouldn’t be watching this video. Your ex may have found someone else. Or they might go back to their ex. But just know that no matter what it might be. Your ex mind is always on you. They might show off the impression that “They are happy”, Or “They don’t need you because of their distraction” ( The rebound person ). You’re, and will forever be on her mind. It might take day’s, weeks, month’s, or even years before you hear from your ex again. But that doesn’t mean that they won’t ever reach out to you. Focus on yourself, and live your best life. Give them the break up, and give them the Best gift of all. Your absence. Silence speaks volume. Trust me. Good luck to you all.

[@Daniel-bd5ur]

M.S.C ISLAND you my man are 100% fucking ob point! if you were good with them, it might takes YEARS but they will reach out

[@mscisland]

Samuel Ose I don’t want her back. I have a better girlfriend.

[@kayand736]

No true . i love my ex but couldn't do the distance

[@manayermussaed145]

10000% 💯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@davidnyro19]

Spot on! I have come to the same conclusion. My ex'es kicked me to the curb...not for lying, cheating, abuse, betrayal, belittling, not communicating, or any of that. They wanted me to give up my music, my family, and prove my love. They thought they could do better, didn't feel cherished, honored, etc. So this was all about them. But, of course, I blamed myself and felt guilt and shame, which is what they wanted. BUT, to your point, someone who rejects/abandons/betrays/leaves, doesn't love you...and more often than not, NEVER loved you. Not really. Someone who truly loves you, accepts you, believes in you, values you, sees you and, more importantly, loves and cares about themselves, isn't going to kick you to the curb; at least not without some serious cause and several chances to right the ship. So you're/we're actually better off, even though it will cut deeply and feel terrible. This is a real price we pay when we love someone and planned to spend a lifetime with someone. But it's time to embrace yourself and be good to yourself, even though you might feel like a piece of crap. As Coach Lee says take heart if you held up your end of the relationship; if you were a stand-up person and were loyal, loving, trusting, caring, open to working things out. See that and appreciate yourself for that. We can't control others and their actions; only us. And do we really want to be in a relationship with another human being who doesn't want to be with us, or doesn't know what they want or who they are? No. No. I know it's REALLY , really hard, almost impossible, to not contact, accept, let it all go, but try your best, because it's the best thing you can do for you. (And the people who care about you!) My experience is my experience, but I have never ever heard from any of my ex'es ever again. 10, 15, 20, even 30 years later. Even when they ended up alone. They all said I set the bar high and would be "a tough act to follow." Yet, they never had any second thoughts, that I was aware of. None of them ever missed me. Or certainly not enough to spur them to act. Again, another sign that you're lucky to be clear of someone like that. And I refuse to believe that I brought no value to the relationships. I KNOW I cared deeply about them and was committed to them and our relationship with all my heart. I wasn't perfect, but I was certainly worthy of real consideration as a partner. And the same holds true for all of you reading this, I strongly suspect. You'll know what's really true if you search your heart. So, while I don't disagree with what Coach Lee says about some lovers missing you, having twinges of regret or remorse, second thoughts, etc. I've never seen it, known it, heard of it. And not just for me. Others I know have experienced same. Anecdotal, of course. But, my money is on presuming the "worst" ("best," in the big picture, right?) and moving on with your life and your love! First, give that great, real love to yourself, and then, if it's in the cards, to someone who will actually see it, understand it, value it, accept it, and be able to return it in a mature, real way. Good luck to all!

[@ldm6752]

Never contact an ex. Give them the gift of your silence, especially on their special occasion.

[@eliswerekio]

1. Respect the decision of a break up 2. He made the mistake of letting u go so its his own fault that he doesn't get the happy birthday wish

[@tootsmay4420]

My ex gave the wish but asked for space before so I guess dont wish her one. I dont want to seem cold because she wished me one

[@Rizu-kc3ze]

She went away twice this time. Her thing is whole year no contact, just wish me a "Happy Birthday, Stay Well. "... And then nothing for another year. I'm suspecting she is going to do it again.

[@josephdelossantos6519]

@@Rizu-kc3ze same here, she went away twice in a year, she went with another man

[@Rizu-kc3ze]

@@josephdelossantos6519 just forget about it man, be happy that you got to know something which was never yours is not yours. Have a fulfilling and happy life man. That's the purpose. Another person can't give you what you r lacking cuz it come from within. That has been my experience, hope it helps you somewhat :)

[@josephdelossantos6519]

@@Rizu-kc3ze thanks a lot, yeah at this 3 m onths of being dumped, im loving back myself, realized its not worth fighting for, yes you are right, im not enough of her, better leave. twice she hurt me

[@joannab1692]

"The only way that your ex can know that they want your presence, is if they don't like your absence." 😂 Loved it!

[@haleylynn1369]

No- the only reason to do so is because you want your ex back. And you’re looking for any excuse to talk to them. As hard as it may be to hear, someone who dumps you doesn’t want to hear from you.

[@yswen828]

will he come back if he ghosted me?

[@OfficialWimpydoll]

Just greeted him personally. He just smiled at me and I felt bad. All I want is to be kind to him.

[@aktywnyobserwator5868]

So i did it for small provocation, maybe... ;-)

[@Kynamagic90]

Not always true lol. Depends on situation, it was mostly mutual tho I basically was the driving force behind its; opening the conversation, turning down invitations of a break. I do want to hear from them, I just want it to be backed up with action otherwise it’s no point yes I feel more in control of the situation and loved. But there’s no point and maybe it disrupts by process or creates denial

[@haleylynn1369]

@@yswen828 I wouldn’t count on it. But he could come back and just string you along. Coming in and out of your life all the time. You don’t need to hang onto a guy who does either. If a guy ghosts you (which has happened to me too) he’s too much of a coward to just end things with you, and you’re left wondering what happened. If he does come back, most likely it didn’t work out with whoever he blew you off for. And he’s coming back to keep you as a backup option while he’s looking to date someone else. Don’t waste your time hoping he’ll come back. Find a better guy who won’t ghost you.

[@vainarrara6651]

You saved me from embarrassment. Thank you coach

[@ms.serendipity1593]

Me too his birthday is coming nextweek i was planning to txt him but lucky i saw this video😆..thank you coach for saving us😄

[@vainarrara6651]

@@ms.serendipity1593 hey guess what? We just made love. 63 days of no contact brought my ex back.

[@ms.serendipity1593]

@@vainarrara6651 congrtas im happy for you love wins💞 ..well mine is more than a half year 9months already he will never be back ..i just only remember his birthday by nextweek if i should greet him.. then i watch this video..thankfully

[@heymsbecky]

@@vainarrara6651 update, y'all still together?

[@vainarrara6651]

@@heymsbecky unfortunately no, we stayed together long enough for me to realize we are incompatible. But I want to give credit to coach Lee. It is much better to end the relationship naturally than abruptly, the pain I was carrying first time we broke up was devastating. this time we broke up in a place for healing. Getting her back was 100% worth it.

[@italiancapo7]

Silence says everything

[@longislandny696]

NihilTimendumEst It speaks volumes

[@kris0369]

It's painful l want my ex back so badly... He doesn't want me back instead their moving back to his hometown in December. He texted me 3 weeks once his son is done school in spring then there moving, that was a big blow l was devastated. In August this year him and his 16 years old son left to Onatrio for 2 weeks holiday. this really hurts because every year we talked about going to Ontario for me to finally meet our family and this year after their breakup he makes the plan is still there for him too visit the family and this time is different both of us did our taxes together a month afterwards he broke up with me he got four times as much back as me he could easily afford to go. After they came back their holiday he called me to tell me their moving back this December I totally broke down crying. He didn't expect me to take it this hard... well when I met him I gave him my heart and all, I did everything for them and he just threw it away like l was rag doll. When he call me I was shopping just about to purchase a item he just told me the news my hands started shaking my voice panic dropped the item walked out in shock. I cried for an hour straight while talking to me then he encouraged me to come over to visit. That turned to overnight I don't know if I regret it spending the night with him he knows I miss him a lot and l want him back, however he says we're like oil and water we're not compatible. It's still breaks my heart it's been almost 5 months since the breakup my feelings is still the same... you think by now I'll be over him but I'm not. I have my stuff stored at this place until I find a new place the thing I'm worried about the most is his 16 year old son is slowly going to myself breaking stealing damaging my stuff burning poking holes in my stuff, sad to see a lot of stuff that's undisturbed his dad never tried to replace it in the end I told his dad his son sabotage our relationship and he allowed to happen and he didn't do nothing about it to save out relationship. Of course he had no comment on it cuz I was right. I believe my ex is narcissist self-centered selfish ass. Like they say what comes around goes around...

[@carolloraine223]

Dont ruin your holidays with their nonsense!!

[@vdubmansmith86]

Facts

[@joshpage3911]

Well said

[@ryancoburn6607]

They can kick rocks

[@daybyday442]

Agreed. Time to move on. Good luck folks

[@Omnitrix8]

😂

[@shivam3487]

Whenever I feel like texting her, I watch your video😂

[@itskbbaby9496]

Thought I was the only one😭

[@renepulido9763]

Thats how I feel too

[@rahmantv6354]

Same here

[@eliascrooker7773]

@@renepulido9763 How's it going man?

[@renepulido9763]

@@eliascrooker7773 Not the best, I reached out abt a week ago cuz I heard she was self harming but instead of talking to me she tried making herself look like the victim in the break up. So I decided tht I wasnt going to break no contact for anything again. Just gonna let her do her and let her friends who all are complaining that she's asking for attention deal with her. I'll update you guys the next time something big happens

[@simplicitytrading245]

Hi all. Just wanted to share a success story! I went no contact and after time went on my ex started reaching out to me a few times which I was polite until we met, where she said she felt worse and worse as time went on as she realised I was not in her life!! No contact is the only way. We are much happier now and in a great place! Edit: it is one year to the day we broke up. What a difference a year can make, stay strong everyone, if its meant to be it will happen, only if you let them realise what they have given up!

[@twisted4207]

Guess that only works if she doesnt right on hop in the next relationship like mine. Happy for you my dude

[@user-ev4jg5dk2k]

Ryan Topp how long were you in No Contact for? Congrats and happy for you both :)

[@simplicitytrading245]

@@user-ev4jg5dk2k thanks mate, just about 30 days but had been exchanging brief messages before we met

[@user-ev4jg5dk2k]

Ryan Topp thanks ...it’s nice to hear happy ending stories. I m approaching 30 days and still no messages or anything. He reads my IG stories promptly but I don’t think it means anything. Sigh...

[@vladanristic4595]

can someone talk to me, i just need someone to talk to...

[@jasondelgado4417]

I think one thing that needs to always be mentioned in these videos is that... there’s a chance that your ex is absolutely confident in their decision and y’all just didn’t connect the way you thought you did and no amount of disconnect or absence is going to change the outcome of the relationship. I’m not saying this is what always happens but it needs to be said that this is a possibility because some people will hold on to their exes forever but sometimes it’s best to just let go...😪

[@Jensaun3]

Yep

[@latricewright1575]

I Do , Agree with you , Just let it go

[@Cluedup2399]

Totally agree let them go move on the quicker the better

[@superseiyan]

@@latricewright1575 I wish the No contact folks emphasized the personal healing and self-improvement rather than the “I’ll show her, and get her back” aspect

[@771]

You are right.. that is why it's best to proceed with leaving the door open, walking away, and never looking back

[@damolaadeleke7282]

Please, guys don't ever wish your ex anything for any reason. Just cut ties and keep moving, speaking from experience and it doesn't put you in the best position trust me.

[@DavidD0007]

so should i wish my ex in new year eve or her birthday?

[@ManviSharma1994]

@@DavidD0007 no

[@DavidD0007]

@@ManviSharma1994 why?

[@eveningowl9443]

@@DavidD0007 im getting tempted cause 10 years, but i ma listen to my brain and not do it

[@redshadlizard]

I was thinking about this today. We loved each other for a year and have been apart for a year. She's been with a new guy for a few months. I was crafting a Merry Christmas email tonight. Deleted the draft. Thanks, Lee.

[@nickc3250]

Well done..

[@jonathanjonnylightning718]

Red if I may ask what caused your breakup.

[@jonathanjonnylightning718]

Red Shad my advise to you is definitely work on yourself excersise and try to build your career. Always stay positive.

[@redshadlizard]

She didn’t like my smoking. I heard she is engaged.

[@StockpileThomas1]

@@redshadlizard Ouch

[@mermaidx9386]

It’s his birthday next week and tbh I feel like messaging him would just give him a huge ego boost, he wanted this breakup so there he can have it I’m not wasting my time wishing him a happy birthday, he can have all of me or none at all, I’ll give him the breakup he wants

[@donlothario8584]

Good idea

[@31Alden]

I Believe ... in the power of absence. Reaching out/contacting an ex on their birthday or any other holiday is a lame excuse for reestablishing contact and can easily be viewed by one’s ex as exactly what it is: manipulative. The only gift he’ll be receiving from me on his birthday and Christmas (a day apart) is my absence ...The Sound of Silence.

[@micallll100]

Sooo finally after over a year (one year and one month) I am totally over my ex!!! I did date others, but still thought about him. didn't get him back, but still so happy that I'm over it.wish you all the best!don't wait for anyone, time is too presoius.A person that loves you will find the way back to you, but go on with your life and don't wait for that day.

[@colinfox3445]

Hi been in NC for 2 months 4 months since wife up an left me, It really Hurts like hell but after 20 years its always going too hurt like hell. She has started seeing a guy already What a shock that was. For sure moving forward is the best method but taking time for me is so important

[@stacym2201]

Michal Sterenberg ...4 real

[@lols5851]

Update?

[@DerMelodist]

Answer: No Contact. My ex has Christmas, New Years, and a birthday all coming up, but I am not contacting her. We even have our first date anniversary on New Year’s Eve/Day coming up. She broke up with me. She said she was sure about not getting back together with me. So, while I improve myself, let her reach out if she’s going to change. My victory is getting myself back and ending this year with freedom from this year’s relationship. Thanks coach!

[@---tn1iu]

The Melodist hecking yes

[@MexicanEagl80]

Damn, I haven’t been able to get over my ex either after like 9 months even after following all the logical steps. Shits hard

[@DerMelodist]

David Hall My ex broke up with me three months ago and those first two were painful. However, I’m now doing great. Life is better and I have a new job on the horizon. I’m working out and eating well. Even my therapist and friends notice it. I still think of her from time to time but I’m not allowing her to live rent free. Whenever a thought of her pops in I interrogate the Thot until it’s gone. I’m sorry you’ve been struggling but how is the time to get through it! You’ve got this.

[@DerMelodist]

Chris Stella Nah. Thanks though.

[@jft2nd]

What if I broke up with her but she is acting like everything is fine but I know she is still hurting because of how she acts on social media and when she sees me? We broke up in September and on and off texted afew times every month but after running into her at church and talking to her, I have gone no contact for 2 weeks and I'm not gonna say anything to her on Christmas but I do want to send a small "Happy New Years." Text on the 1st if that's okay?

[@elle9633]

The biggest gift that I am going to give him on his upcoming bday is my absence 🎁 . After all, that’s what he made clear he wanted when he decided to leave our relationship.

[@miegestag76]

I've heard "Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I've also heard 'Out of sight out of mind'. I agree my friend, because I don't need closure.

[@moniqueuu8777]

These sayings are so confusing!

[@ericvega3597]

Out of sight out of mind better applies to things people have no knowledge of. But if someone loved you, you're on their mind.

[@golf1diesel]

​@@ericvega3597but if they lost feelings for you and you don't recreate the spark will they?

[@dbzsrb9654]

This man needs hero award

[@parth898patel6]

Very well said. I feel so Empowered.

[@Faithplayer1211]

"Getting your ex back is largely dependent on your understanding and knowledge of how to react in certain situations and what to expect." Truth to be told. Thanks!

[@longislandny696]

If he’s a narcissist,you break all contact with them.Those Demons DON’T change.

[@drliveluplaugh75]

true dat

[@byarugabaannet5268]

Amina Abdullah well said dear

[@essav.]

been there.. and its very very hard to crawl out of that bond. The never ending cycle of dealing with a narcissist is both emotionally and mentally challenging. But I've finally broke free. Blocked him and deleted everything that may remind me of him.

[@the99999th]

they are not demons, they just don't know how to control their emotions, my ex is also a narcissist, and oh my god she is the most selfish person I have ever met, they just do what they feel like is right, which is puttin themselves first all the time, that is just the way they are, don't worry they will not be happy in any relationship ever

[@MrShowgun44]

Amina Abdullah exactly

[@azzazz4549]

The no contact rule is gold, but there are people out there that don't use no contact and still get back with their ex. The main thing to keep in mind is to always learn from the breakup and become the best version of you and be very mature towards your ex. If they ended the relationship because you acted immature or needy, make them see how much you have changed with having to tell them

[@nickiboy33]

I agree. Im on no contact rule and been for more than a month, but her Bday is coming up in 1,5 months. I will congrats my ex since she left me because I was an a-hole in a long period of time and after the divorce I changed to a better person and push myself everyday to be better. So this BS rule he is talking about is certainly not the way for mature people! Actually the chances of getting her back is bigger because she sees that Ive matured. I believe in kindness no matter what, be kind and the universe will bring you kindness back!!

[@darksideofthebright4284]

​@@nickiboy33I agree. Though I don't know exactly if that's 100% correct. But I've been d*ickhead many times, she broke because I behaved badly. Her birthday was just 3 days we've met to end this relationship and I left her a gift at the door, like used to. She came back after 3 days, happy about it. I was casual, polite and kind, and even a bit cocky and flirty, she did though asked me if I was with someone at the trip I made that day. Which is interesting, I played friendly with that question but eventually said I wasn't, which was true. And I returned to NC. We'll see what future bring. Peace

[@Walkingsushisushi]

I wanted to share my story. I’m not a fluent English speaker so I’m sorry if I make you confused. I went through a breakup with this guy I loved the most in my life. But he broke up with me three months ago and I was devastated. And I started watching Coach Lees videos. I think Ive watched most of it because I really wanted to get back together and I followed what he says in the vids and I never texted this guy first but when he texted me I replied casually. ( he only texted me twice in like two months after the breakup) And I focused on myself to become a better and more independent person. I was gradually getting over him and I started to like being single but I know I still have some feelings for him. And he told me he still had feelings for me and he wanted to see me again after three months. After all this happened I became a better person and Ive came to the point where I know I will be happy either I get back to him or I don’t. Thank you so much Coach Lee!

[@traviswepfer1270]

I like your blunt demeanor. People need that, in my opinion.

[@MrRedshotz]

Definitely. I've listened to other coaches and they just go on tangents leaving the dumpee with more questions. Coach Lee keeps it 100

[@sheilawhite3990]

I know a man who help me get my ex back in two weeks

[@ronc166]

NEVER!!!!! Have PRIDE TOO your HEART & SOUL.

[@daisylass1712]

Maybe the next time they dump someone, they will think twice.

[@tomdrummy4984]

Some ex’s do not know what they want and never will. Some don’t know what they want when they were with you. Lol Some people will just never get it.

[@rodrigo100kk]

So true, Tom.

[@videshamunusami8537]

Been there done that...... after 10 years he realised that i was the only one he wanted..... that boat has already sailed my dear.....

[@PinkLaptop]

This is very true. I’m honestly scared that my ex will never get it. He is so disassociated with his emotions. He zones out and distracts his self.

[@Ace.0.0.0.]

@@PinkLaptop if he's your ex, it's not your problem if he doesn't get it. Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. You should look forward, not backward.

[@peterwhite4429]

Dude, your videos always come at the perfect time

[@dedikurniawan5058]

Peter White Same here omg

[@redshadlizard]

Same here also.

[@gabe40xl32]

I was just going to say the same thing, but I'll just like this comment instead.

[@hayeslloyd4002]

Yeah 👍🏾

[@peterwhite4429]

Walter White lol I know. It answered my questions about texting her on our anniversary (late January) or her birthday

[@Lea-ik5cs]

My birthday was a month after we broke up, we still talked here and there and he wished me happy birthday. We haven’t talked at all now for two months and his birthday and Xmas are days apart. It was nice he wished me a happy birthday but I won’t be doing the same for him. Honestly he doesn’t deserve it, he left me.

[@Lea-ik5cs]

@Mia never heard from him again. It’s been a year and half now. I heard thru my family he has a new girlfriend. On with life now

[@cap5762]

@@Lea-ik5cs do u Think what would be different if you wished them happy birthday

[@Lea-ik5cs]

@@cap5762 no

[@cap5762]

@@Lea-ik5cs it’s been 3 months of nc for me. She wished me happy birthday within nc at midnight exact. I feel I should say it back. Hers is In a month..

[@whatwouldtarado213]

NO. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[@p.m.dabouteverything562]

she even wrote to me, my ex-wife, almost as you said:Do you really hate me so much that you can't even write to me for on my birthday? '' ,thanks for the video, you know a lot,thank you coach Lee.

[@gogohappygirl]

What happened after that? How did you respond, if at all?

[@Nova-tc6jv]

I was thinking of reaching out on his birthday since he reached out on mine and didn’t want to come off as being rude for not reaching out BUT I’m almost at 3 months NC and I’m feeling great! He decided he didn’t want me to be part of his life anymore and that is why he left. His loss! I am not chasing anyone anymore. Whatever is meant to be, will happen, and I shouldn’t have to work so hard for it.

[@helenuloma3789]

hi friend I know how you feel.I was in a situation like this.when I see a powerful man who help me out he is the one who help me get my ex to me

[@helenuloma3789]

Message him on WhatsApp

[@Goochslapper69]

I went through a very hard breakup years ago and I didnt have these tools back then. I cried, I begged, and she kept going. This time things just faded because of temporary distance and I'm so much better prepared. I knew as soon as she broke up with me I had to do no contact. I told her my feelings in a calm mature manner and havent texted her since. I'm only on day 3 since the breakup. It's still just as hard but watching a couple of these videos a day has helped me so much mentally. I do want her back but these videos are also going to help me move forward if that just doesn't happen. I honestly appreciate these videos because they have helped me so much just in the last 24 hours.

[@SJ-nw1ym]

Update?

[@rprevolv]

I feel ya. You're not alone.

[@conradsmith9441]

You need to show that you have your own life. If you reach out to them it shows that you had that day on your mind already. It shows you are thinking about them. They need to know that they are not the most important thing in their lives.

[@dorethamoses6202]

Coach lee said to be polite and respond back to your ex when he reaches out to say merry Christmas or happy new year, you can say it back but don't carry the conversation on, but dont ignore them, you dont chase him to reach out first. Thanks Lee, I got it.

[@daanxbox360]

The "happy Festivus" made me smile after a tough lonely night. Thanks Coach!

[@rasch760]

If your in no contact and they reach out, by you replying your only playing into their hand. It gives the power back to them. Never let em hear your voice again, have some self respect. They'll only do it again.

[@fasaistanford4244]

He literally just texted me happy birthday and I had to hop on here and watch this so I don’t mess it up, thank you coach lee for being soooo helpful

[@solog9926]

[phone]⏯⏯⏯⏯ Hello it's work i can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up.....

[@solog9926]

What'Sapp him 🖕🖕

[@TeeMingChat]

I so love this! It’s true and great advice. I used to be one who would use birthdays and especially Christmas to reach out to someone I fell in love with but he would never commit to me. I’m so glad to be over him. Rejection is a horrible feeling and I had never been a chaser of anyone! This was a first and now that I know what I know, it is most certainly the LAST!!

[@acquabablair5524]

Absolutely Not !!!! Let the new person in his life do all that he wants and need….you don’t owe anyone anything. Stop making excuses to do things for someone who didn’t think twice to leave you in an uncomfortable situation…even if their decision to leave was justified!

[@rodriguez54502]

I have been watching and listening different videos with different "experts in relationship" and I must say I got so impressed with coach Lee when I found his videos few weeks ago, his sincerity, knowledge, professionalism and passion for helping broken hearts tells me what an amazing person he is. Too bad he is not taking calls anymore. I have been devastated since my girlfriend took off 2 month ago and this was not just a relationship but 9:years of beautiful and wonderful memories for both of us. The truth is we both love eachother unconditionally but some times that's not enough. I wish if I could share the story but I rather not! Merry Christmas to everyone. Love and peace!

[@roselledinglasan3170]

Godbless you...right girl will come ..in Gods will😉

[@dorethamoses6202]

R Rodriguez well something must have been wrong in the relationship for her to just take off it must not have been so wonderful to her it's something your not telling, get well soon.

[@lilstowell]

Hi Coach! Following you for 1.5 years and used your advice from private coaching and videos. He asked me on a date after 1.5 years of trying. It’s been a long road and many told me to give up. Your videos explain the deep psychology involved in a breakup and has helped more than anything to remember steps I need to take so I don’t mess up. I’m so grateful.

[@Naruto16315]

How long was ur first relationship

[@stan______]

How is it going?

[@cwigg7728]

Her birthday is tomorrow…I want to wish her a happy birthday, but I know it isn’t the way to go. It’s gonna hurt me to some degree, because I love her….but she chose my absence. This day I’ll remain absent.

[@reeee4vhjk]

So did you not do it,

[@MsGG623]

My ex recently reached out after more than a month. I responded but instantly regretted it. I was polite and cordial. Listening to you reminds me that my response was fine. Thank you coach Lee, you’re always on time.

[@solarsauce]

How'd things go?

[@pappico]

Why did you regret your response? Isn't responding politely and casually a good thing?

[@nono-iy4be]

why did you regret responding? Did you not want your ex back? or still had feelings for them?

[@MsGG623]

@@nono-iy4be I did want my ex back but I regretted responding because I felt I let my guard down and was afraid to get hurt. But I handled it so well that I didn’t have to feel hurt from whatever response I received. I really feel listening to Dr Lee during this time helped me be stronger.

[@MsGG623]

@@solarsauce we’re back together….and after some time and work we are better than before.

[@carolloraine223]

Personally, No! They're only wanting to test the waters and see if they can get away with more misery Stay true to No Contact and know it's only a game to them!!

[@chefrio1471]

Agreeeeeee

[@downtostandup]

This!

[@aquariuslove5635]

Carol Loraine yup!

[@sheilawhite3990]

I know a man who help me get my ex back in two weeks

[@JeffKnows1]

I went into NC right away after breakup. It’s only been 2 weeks and her bday is in 2 days… I know she thinks I will text her… but I won’t. Stay strong everyone!

[@super_street_racer5094]

How did it go?

[@JeffKnows1]

@@super_street_racer5094 still NC. This is the only way to regain my strength and self-esteem. She left a devastating void with her absence... this is an emotional lesson of a lifetime. Idk if I'll ever let myself get too attached to anyone ever again.

[@rayf5360]

This video is a Godsend, just what I needed at this moment! I've been in No Contact for a month now and with Christmas, New Year and her birthday coming up I'm really torn up about contacting my ex. She's is already going through a rough time and I don't want to appear an inconsiderate dick since I still care for her, but sticking to No Contact is currently what's best for myself. Thank you for your valuable insight coach!

[@kcash6359]

Ray...I hope you stuck with No Contact. I know it's been 3 years since you posted, but I am responding more to reach someone who may be newly dumped. No Contact has the best chance of restoring things, like Coach Lee says. It doesn't always work, but there really isn't much choice anyway. Nothing worked in my case. She left for someone else. After 25 years together, it was a surprise, but there is nothing I could do. The holidays are here and don't plan to hear from or contact her. She left over 7 months ago and there has been no contact except for some business things. There are times, unfortunately, when one has to just take the hit and move on. Tough, but there isn't much choice. I will say, things get better. They always do, but it just takes some time. It may not be what some want to hear, but you have to prepare yourself that it is possible they don't ever come back. I wish you all well.

[@sailorlionheart5344]

It's his birthday today, I'm not saying anything even though I was going back-and-forth this month. Thank you Coach Lee, your videos give me strength

[@simatic512]

Dude, I didn’t text him for his birthday and two days later, he texted me, saying, “I was surprised to not hear from you on Tuesday.” MY DUDE. YOU are the one who said you needed separation and you wished me well in life. I gave him the exact same words you said to say if they complain, and you could tell he didn’t know how to handle me deflecting his message with maturity. Since we began no contact two months ago, he has reached out twice with excuses to contact me. This was the third. I’m not sure what he wants from me but after watching your videos, I can tell it’s just all part of the process of them missing you. However, I’m really scared that he’s going to try to come back before any real changes have been made on his part. I really want to be with him, but his responses are kind of showing me he hasn’t changed much. Is it possible to still get an ex back in the future even when you feel THEY have taken the cake out too early? 😭 I don’t wanna be in a position to where I have to reject HIM. We broke up in October (it’s now March) because he wasn’t ready for commitment. We were together for two years.

[@simatic512]

@coachlee

[@Camcam75]

How did it go?

[@simatic512]

@@Camcam75 He cracked. He told me he missed me, he wanted to see me. We met up and we had a great time. He wants to meet up again, but at our meeting I realized he didn’t do any self-improvement at all whatsoever. It was heartbreaking. I waited for the moment he would crack and be vulnerable and when it happened, it actually made me so sad. Because I knew we couldn’t be together. I had literally transcended him and he hadn’t gotten better. I still hope we can be together someday in the future but he is NOT where I need him to be in life at all.

[@Camcam75]

@@simatic512 oh wow ! This gives me hope and terrifies me at the same time. You do you though ! Take care of you first and above all

[@simatic512]

@@Camcam75 thank you! We’re hanging out soon and he has been flirting a lot. Just gotta play it by ear and listen to Coach Lee!!

[@morrisask8275]

I never knew that I was so stupid enough by posting her photo and text messaging her on her birthday, thanks for this powerful video....I just learned something new....

[@fasakinkemisola5285]

I did same too and now I'm angry I did

[@fasakinkemisola5285]

I did same too and now I'm angry I did

[@QUINTUSMAXIMUS]

I am watching you every day because I have so much to learn. This is more about myself and being right with myself. I owe it to myself. Roger that. I won't wish her a happy birthday or anything unless she makes contact. Your videos are like giving us psychological immunity. If you're a dad, I am sure your kid(s) are lucky to have you.

[@musabalaauchan3091]

[phone]⏯️⏯️💕💕

[@kathyswann1088]

Well I screwed that up on Monday. I emailed him birthday wishes. He didn't even thank me so I felt like an idiot.

[@byhadeel5459]

Kathy Swann he thanked me and blocked me three days later..till now and it’s been a year and a month..

[@kathyswann1088]

@@byhadeel5459 mine married a woman s few months ago he met while still with me. I am done with him with relationships in general.

[@byhadeel5459]

Kathy Swann woahh, stay strong girl you deserve better

[@ernestinaarhin5740]

You are not sweetheart, Be strong

[@eveningowl9443]

Omgg hope ur dokng good

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Hello Lee, I listen to you often, and i told you many times that I will ALWAYS be here no matter what. On this topic, I do think it's a good idea to refrain from any Holiday and Birthday gestures. I remember when I discarded my ex, his birthday, and Christmas were only 2 months away. Dealing with a person (narcissist) I def didn't want to send him holiday wishes, and even if it was a "Normal" breakup, I'm against any form of contact. Coach Lee is the BEST, and at one time I watched his videos over and over. He helped me more than my Therapist. Listen to Coach Lee, and he will lead you down the right path. God bless you, Lee. Love you...❤

[@JuicyFruityify]

Thinking about Ex is just a bad habit. The moment I saw through her, all she ever did was try to hurt me. The NC helped me weigh up her value to me. I now see that I really dodged a bullet. When I do think of her, its just the one step back of the two steps forward. I'm comfortable and happy without her. Saying Happy Birthday would be chasing, I don't chase anymore.

[@VENIvidiVICI81]

You‘ll never contact your ex again. For the rest of your life. Stay strong

[@tiinamettala1131]

Hi coach Lee and all the others reading this. I spent a wonderful Christmas and New Years with my ex last year and my mind and heart is aching to reach out to him and wish him Merry Christmas. I have listen to this x many to keep in track (no contact since December 7). Thanks coach Lee to give me wisdom and strength. Happy holidays everyone and happy 2020!

[@lioydwilliams1850]

tiina mettala,your pretty smile can make the news

[@dorabarkley6335]

No , no way , why are you involving yourself into their lives , you’re over done with , keep it moving😒

[@katherinemoore3059]

Exactly! If they wanted you in their life they would have stayed with you!

[@robikochinchaladze3364]

Lol there is no feeling in this area:)

[@travis6694]

I think a lot of people mis understand these types of videos. It’s not about having no contact to stick it to them. It’s going through a process to potentially have a healthy and peaceful relationship with them. I know a lot of people are upset, mad and bitter and want there ex to feel bad, but a lot of dumpees I see refuse to acknowledge that they might have messed up by being clingy or needy or insecure.

[@ladyenfamouz]

It’s my ex’s birthday today. I wrote him a message in my notes today, I won’t send it; but it helped. It’s been 52 days no contact and although today has been hard, I know this is the path I need to walk to either be reunited with him or move on from him.

[@vSmoKv]

Dude get your hair out of here before you *steal* my ex

[@simonemathew4422]

Lol

[@lg316]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mariaelenabartesaghi6322]

LMAO thank you for this, I needed it!

[@msknich0le]

Before I watch this, I know the answer better be no for contacting them, especially if you're the dumpee. They don't care about the dumpee missing any important occasions. They hope the dumpee keeps it moving.

[@karend6467]

My ex broke up with me and I went no contact for 5 months until his birthday. I dropped off his favorite chocolates and a birthday card while he was at work. Guess what? He contacted me to say thanks and we began talking again. We are back together and I couldn't be happier. Never underestimate the power of a kind gesture.

[@jb3558]

interesting. i have spent years believing that keeping in touch was good. after nearly 6 years of that and only ever getting the crumbs, i was angry about the birthday they chose to go away with their "rebound' and so i ignored sending a birthday text. wow 2 months later i found out they were furious I didnt! Its been rocky since and though we met in july and there were a few subsequent msgs, i have consciously stepped back for the first time and am not sending xmas message . i now realise that i had not allowed them to miss me ever since the split and now i am strong enough to step away and deal with the possibility that it really is over - or they will realise that is their chosen life and partner WITHOUT me to feed their other needs. Time will tell. I know it could be the final - and this is why people can't do no contact. But no more crumbs for me - its either open a new chapter with them but they have to ask - or leave the book closed and finally move on. (by the way this has been an extremely complex situation hence the length of time but looking back I think I have been part of the problem that has elongated it too. Thanks to these videos perhaps I have found a solution to my emotional trap).

[@pm8401]

Sounds good. You can't live in limbo forever. No one should have to.

[@alexandranoboa]

I reached out today to congratulate him for an exceptional acknowledgement and recognition at work, where he will be making more money. I kept it very simple. I congratulated him, said God bless your career, and wished him best of luck. He answered with a thank you and God bless you as well, and that was that. I wasn't expecting more out of him so for me it's not a big deal. I don't feel humiliated and I don't expect him to reach back. I think we both know it's over and we are kind of ok about it.

[@Camcam75]

I can’t wait to not wish him a happy birthday

[@Dylan-xr7dj]

I believe in no contact and I disagree to some degree to not ignoring them when they reach out during no contact. Bread crumb texts can be very hurtful to you even an “I miss you” or “I love you” they are almost always just testing the waters and trying to get you to give you something. Someone that only wants a part of you or wants something from you should feel the full weight of their decision.

[@jimmyruth1129]

Thanks so much Coach Lee day 6. Your keeping me strong. My Girlfriend is a widow and feeling overwhelmed,and told me she's not ready for this even though she loves me. So I'm backing off till she reaches out to me and ready.

[@sonicboyPT]

Even tough I love coach Lee (and coach Ken!), I just want to let a few notes on this particular topic because I faced it recently and took the right decision. Speaking from a men's perspective, if you did everything right and didn't plead, begged, etc. and went straight into no contact with no ressentment (at least not visible) towards your ex, and you realise she likes you and misses you but for whatever reason you had to break up (yes loss of atraction, I know), if she didn't explicitly told you "leave me alone" etc. I think not wishing happy birthday can come across as weak, needy, manipulation and being buthurt, like you are doing it on purpose. In some occasions (I admit it they might be rare) it shows more strenght and more "I moved on" to simply wish happy birthday with honesty and not care about getting her back, at least right away or even getting an answer. It shows you hold no grudge and in my opinion this is a vastly superior form of moving on, to accept and not care and just be yourself. I see a ton of comments here and on plenty of videos of people being buthurt. Sorry, but its true. If you feel any sort of ressentment and revenge feelings, then you are not over. If you love and forgive and let go, then you are truly over something bad. Coach Lee and Ken say "if all it took was a birthday or holliday message to get your ex back, then she would have reached out before". And they are 100% right. But on the same account, if you are not getting your ex back BECAUSE you just told them "happy birthday, have a great day", then it was clearly not meant to be. I mean, you're just being nice. If your ex is freaked out or turned off because you were nice to them on a special day, then you have your answer right there: move on.

[@ettietiti]

sooo what do i do T_T … i agree with your point of view but at the same time i am conflicted, do i wish them a good day or ? i do want to wish them a good bday but i dont wanna initiate a conversation.

[@kagamitaiga9167]

@@ettietitiright

[@leonardluhi2310]

This video reference is on point. @6:03 Hahaha That was a great demonstration of strength. Its good to back off wen they don't welcome u emotionally. Thanks Lee

[@chuckgoodman3828]

Had an ex once wish me a Happy Thanksgiving. I responded with “who is this”? Never heard from her again!🤣

[@bsoni9591]

Why you did that?

[@chuckgoodman3828]

@@bsoni9591 watch the video!🤷🏻‍♂️🙄

[@sandhywinartja8662]

i wish i can play hardball like u

[@arr204]

I’m doing this the next time they reach out! Then I’ll never need to worry about hearing from them ever again.

[@zs9720]

I had bought her a spa gift card and an appointment for an entire day before the breakup for her upcoming birthday. She broke up with me a month ago; I went hardcore no contact ever since and this week I am finally at the stage where I don’t ever want to even be friends with her. It’s such a powerful feeling! Also, I cancelled the dang appointment and will absolutely not reach out to her on her birthday! Thank you coach Lee ❤

[@lenaschaef6714]

Hey coach Lee, thank you so much for that video My ex is in a rebound and still was angry that I didn't say happy birthday.. It was good seeing that it still mattered to him enough to reach out but since then we're in no contact again and he's still with the new girl. Breaks my heart seeing this. Thank you for your nice wishes, I hope this will happen and we'll get our exes back. Have a happy Christmas time and please don't stop posting these amazing videos.

[@taylorxo5242]

Had been considering wish my ex a happy Father’s Day, didn’t know what to do and this popped up on my feed. Thank you! 🙏🏻💕

[@adrianamendoza3095]

Thank you! I almost made this mistake just a few days before Christmas. This video prevented me from acting like a fool.

[@NightOrchids]

Edited and changed this post: you answered my question, no i wont wish her happy birthday.. thanks Coach Lee.. you really helped

[@DrEziaku]

I’m just here for your illustrious hair . The thumbnail is the same so it’s such a delightful surprise to see what your hair will look like next 😁☺️

[@ohevshalomel]

Thank you, Coach Lee. My ex is a performer, and he has an important show coming up. I would’ve enjoyed going to the show, and I at least thought that maybe I should ask him how it went and congratulate him. Now I understand that I shouldn’t.

[@TheManishTalreja]

To be very honest with you. You are one of the best on relationships advice. And I have been through 100’s of videos of so called renowned people. But you ,I find have brains. Very highly appreciate your advices. Really helpful. 👏

[@hackareslacksbruh430]

It's hard for me to decide. Me and her use to be together in high school for 6 years. I have been on and off with her and I admit I did horrible things. I was always going back and forth with her, breaking her heart unintentionally because I didn't know what I want. 6 years have passed and we're just friends... I guess. I haven't contacted her for 7 months because I wanted her back, but she didn't want me. So I left, and I still think about her because she's my first love. And because she's different from a lot of women. She's nice, we have things in common, and we gotten along so well. I'm thinking of giving her a christmas gift to break the silence and go back to talking again, but now I don't really know. I don't want this to be a "PLEASE TAKE ME BACK" just a gift only. Not to be a loser or pathetic.

[@missyumyum8670]

You need to stop being a pushy and decide wether you want this girl or not. Wonen like a man to be a man. A nan knows what he wants. You are currently showing disrespect by contacting her with no real purpose. Thats why she isn't interested.

[@flowkoko]

I've found peace and comfort in listening to you

[@flowkoko]

@@davewilson4753 hi Dave..

[@gocaro5314]

Could you make videos : How to have a good communication and how to improve your communication with your partner. Lack of communication and bad communication often lead to breakup

[@asjadecosta9759]

Guys listen to me it works 💯💯💯💯 i did it.. She showed me a picture of something couple hours before her birthday i guess she did it because she wanted me to remember... i texted her back “lol” on the picture and we left the convo right there.. her birthday came and i didn’t say happy birthday fast forward 5 days later she came to me just with big emotions out of no where saying how could you forget my birthday this and that... i simply said in my own phrase “unfortunately it wasn’t on the tip of my mind at the time my apologies hope you enjoyed it” she then followed up with other things but the POINT IS IT WORKED SHE IS TALKING TO ME EVERY DAY OR REALIZED SHE LOST ME BECAUSE I WAS IMPORTANT too her.. If you where a good person and respected the break up it shouldn’t take no longer than 1 month if you where toxic like the person it could take 3-6 months maybe longer but Think of when someone break up with you.. Your a plate of food there very full have no interest in eating or saving the plate.. so they throw it away later that day or maybe even in the week they will get hungry again and wish they had that plate 💯💯

[@helenawingard7526]

I love my X but I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life , Going no contact 😊..If he returns fine. If he doesn't fine.. I am open for New Relationships.. He will always have a piece of my 💓..I just made contact after 9 months.. No anger, No being rude.. We had a long distance relationship, I truly be believe that's what also damaged our relationship 😎..No one was ready to relocate so fast ..Thanks for the video great points🌹🤩

[@Rachtale]

i feel you there with long distance and you feel that need more to contact since you can't be there in person. any updates to how you're doing now?

[@cristinabethea112]

Thank you for this video, Coach Lee. I made the mistake of not replying back to his "Merry Christmas" text. I thought I was doing the right thing. I hope there's another opportunity. You help strengthen me during this hard time ♥️

[@superseiyan]

I’m confused as I thought no contact means no contact. Not out of spite but for building emotional self-control and for knowing your life is ok without the ex. Doesn’t responding to exes that reach out keep you fixated with them, and doesn’t it also validate them and their power over you? Not even worried about “getting them back” but simply just one’s own personal healing and getting to a healthy headspace where you are truly over the breakup and can walk through the world with ease.

[@benithacalloway8286]

@@superseiyan there’s 2 objectives for no contact. It helps you repair your life and also In case your ex comes back he she’ll find you as a new person. Ignoring their comeback is a huge mistake if that was in your agenda. When ex reached out take it slow

[@NotKenpachi]

My ex broke up with me in September, and I went into no contact. She texted me on thanksgiving, wishing me a happy thanksgiving and we talked for a bit. I kept the conversation light hearted but made no attempt to keep the conversation going. The next week I went on a trip to japan with a few friends, and she texted me wishing me a safe trip. About 3 days after I returned to the states, she texted me asking how I was adjusting to being back in the states, we talked for a bit, and I asked her if she wanted to catch up over coffee and i'd tell her about my trip, she said sure. We got coffee and talked like everything was fine, but as I left her place she gave me this half-assed one arm "friend hug". After that, I went back into no contact. Last week she texted me telling me about how she was stressing out about her last exam for med school, we texted a little back and forth but again, I made no effort to carry the conversation. 3 days ago, she texted me about a tweet I made about baby yoda.. we texted for a bit, then again I let the conversation die. So what I'm thinking is: I'll answer her if she reaches out, but unless she asks me to meet up in person, I don't plan on making any effort to carry conversations let alone reach out to her. The one arm friend hug really cemented this idea.

[@vladradunyius5032]

Try to go full no contact, but also try again to meet up with her, to give her idea about getting together

[@NotKenpachi]

@@vladradunyius5032 Hi, what do you mean by full no contact? And thank you for your input, I might try to set up another meet up with her, but if I get the one arm friend hug of death again, I'm definitely done trying

[@vladradunyius5032]

@@NotKenpachi dont initiate contact, wait for her :)

[@Nomad-yn7pv]

Don't initiate contact but don't ignore her if she reaches out. Simply explain friendship is not what you are looking for, that you love her too much to just be friends, and you are not willing to agree to those terms. I got my ex back that way.

[@vladradunyius5032]

@@Nomad-yn7pv after how much time?

[@JKNat9004]

I'm feeling stronger and stronger all the time during this No Contact. Compared to how I felt four months ago, I'm better. Certainly not ready for anyone else, but not sure what I want to have happen either.

[@shawny979]

Exactly how I feel.

[@meosoukasene820]

Wow . i do want to texted merry Christmas . now i know its best to follow no contact. Even Christmas. Was our moment

[@lucashiggins6203]

Meo Soukasene No contact is hard!! But a lot of what Lee says is spot on! I did it recently and she started reaching out. Now after a few weeks of her texting me(I only replied and never reached out)she wants to meet up and “talk”. If you were the dumpee ( i was) then trust no contact!! Remember you’re worth! She broke up with you if she wants to work on things make her reach out and make her pursue you! Stay strong and don’t reach out! It’s a process give it time........I wish you the best of luck.

[@meosoukasene820]

@@lucashiggins6203 yes i was the dumpee too . thx brother

[@jft2nd]

@@meosoukasene820 What if I broke up with her but she is acting like everything is fine but I know she is still hurting because of how she acts on social media and when she sees me? We broke up in September and on and off texted afew times every month but after running into her at church and talking to her, I have gone no contact for 2 weeks and I'm not gonna say anything to her on Christmas but I do want to send a small "Happy New Years." Text on the 1st if that's okay?

[@meosoukasene820]

@@jft2nd good luck man .

[@jft2nd]

@@meosoukasene820 thanks man

[@zlinn31]

This guy is awesome he is helping me with my girlfriend that broke up the day after New Years and she said she never wanted back but call me a few day later crying because she went on a date with some new guy and she said she wanted to be more then friends but when I woke up the next day she said she wished she never should of called and Ik she was lying because she’s a bad lier but now I just don’t contact her anymore

[@TheAleeluu]

Hi everyone. My ex broke up with me about 3 and a half weeks ago, saying that our relationship wasn't healthy but that we could still be friends and still hang out, that I wouldn't lose him and he'd still be there. He mentioned that I was everything that he has ever wanted, but that we're both struggling with pent up anger and resentment towards each other. He told me that he didn't want to keep hurting me. He also said that maybe in the future we could get back together. I told him I couldn't do that and that if it was over, that it had to be over. He said he would respect that, but texted me the day after the breakup. I did beg him to reconsider the day he broke up with me and about 4 days after, but after he gave me the cold shoulder, I decided to focus on myself and cut off communication with him for good. He reached out a few times since then.. but I did not respond, I believe it has been about 18 days of NC. During that time, he started posting a lot of things on his social media (pictures of gifts I gave him, random snaps of his dogs and meals he cooked (we used to cook together all the time). I did my best in ignoring that and not falling into a spiral of overthinking. However, today was his birthday.. got kind of late to this video and I wished him a happy birthday, not seeking a conversation as I have been healing slowly but surely, just wanting to be nice. Even if I wanted to speak to him, I still have a lot to process and healing before I would feel ready to talk to him. He responded in a friendly way, but I decided not to continue the conversation. Just looking for advice, again I wished him a happy birthday (can't change that now) and I oddly don't regret it either. I just want some advice on what to do or how to move on whether he reaches out or not.

[@therights6794]

Okay so Coach Lee, you’re hilariously informative. Your sarcasm gets me every time. 🤣

[@4SuReGaming]

Thank you for all your help coach lee. Also I can confirm that not wishing your ex happy birthday is the for the best. I had my ex contact me about a week after her birthday while in no contact.

[@gogohappygirl]

Update? What ended up happening after that?

[@kahyeanwong9639]

He doesn't need my wishing. He moves ahead of his life happily without me. I remembered he said he had been unhappy for long time when we were together.

[@daisylass1712]

Why allow yourself to be toyed with? No contact is no contact. No congrats or well wishes. Stay away.

[@daimons7261]

Had no contact for nearly 2years and she messaged me in Oct said she misses me and referred to herself by the loving nick name I would call her. I responded and said hey it's nice to hear from you again missed you too, if you would like to grab a bite to eat sometime it would be nice to see you & catch up again. She never contacted me after & I did not respond after & so I did not wish her Merry Xmas as well, & don't plan on wishing happy New year, or any happy Birthdays either. It is very tempting to ignore her next time, however I'd be lying if I said I didnt want her back I chose to remain cool instead

[@SJ-nw1ym]

Update?

[@daimons7261]

@@SJ-nw1ym she never contacted me since that time, I assume she moved on, or she's hoped for me to contact her since she's very stubborn and it never happened. Anyhow I'm glad I stood my ground :)