Should I Divorce My Wife?!

[@domwings4329]

First step remove alcohol and weapon from that house. Temporarily at least.

[@carnivoreRon]

There is no way I would want my children to be around a woman who is willing to do that with a gun. NO WAY. The safety of the children come FIRST!

[@bamilekewoman373]

The Dr. Is WRONG on this one. Whatever other issues they have as a couple, she has proven herself to be DANGEROUS! I also don't agree with that psychobabble about the problem being "his vulnerability" & "his mindset as a soldier"!!!! If he stays with that woman ONE MINUTE LONGER, he is responsible for WHATEVER HAPPENS TO HIS FAMILY.!!!! Parents are murdering their children EVERYWHERE, EVERY DAY. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ERR ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION WITH YOUR BABIES!!!!!!

[@carissaexplainsitall8481]

@@bamilekewoman373 chill out

[@carissaexplainsitall8481]

@@bamilekewoman373 you must not understand postpartum depression. If untreated it can lead to psychosis and it can happen to anyone.

[@suen5006]

She needs evaluation and possibly treatment for her alcohol problem and her depression. For the safety of everyone she needs to stay with someone else until she can get the needed treatment and the family can have some stability.

[@rodvazquez332]

@@carissaexplainsitall8481 I seriously am sorry for whoever your partner is.... but your probably divorced or a single mother because no man would want to be with a older washed up and used up woman like you who has no accountability.

[@audreybringgold6217]

With a 5 month old baby I'd be worried about postpartum psychosis with this story

[@vaska1999]

Definitely a postpartum depression.

[@sher-sasha9817]

This is a man who prays for wisdom...and gets it. Keep ministering

[@itisAlex_]

sher- sasha 100% agree

[@mikesmith-wk7vy]

doctor D has been really good for Dave Ramseys company he really cares about the people on his show

[@HPRaceDevelopment]

not so sure id agree with this. he profits off the misery of others. 5 minutes of advice will actually help or alter a course about 1/1000 times i love what he has to say and hes very skilled at making people feel like he cares. but thats a learned skill. he doesnt loose sleep over peoples problems

[@jebmcnees9348]

@@HPRaceDevelopment what do you expect him to do?

[@HPRaceDevelopment]

@@jebmcnees9348 I was pointing out to Mike that "actually cares" in the manner people "feel" that people "care" is highly unlikely. After a person calls in - the likelyhood of him every thinking about them again is about zero

[@katelynbrown98]

@@HPRaceDevelopment I dont think that's so true. Even if it was, would it be such a bad thing? How can someone carry the weight of every caller on their shouldersa

[@HPRaceDevelopment]

@@katelynbrown98 He can't. But people think he does...that's the point. Make no mistake - he profits heavily off the burdens and misery of others. He isn't going to "truly" change someone's ways in one phone call. It's reality TV 2.0

[@snoozyq9576]

It always amazes me that someone can just sit there and answer all these questions and give all this solid advice. Impressive.

[@michaelpalumbo4880]

His advice is HORRIBLE!

[@Nick.Ackerman]

@@michaelpalumbo4880 why do you think so?

[@nathansimpson5721]

I don't always think his advice is perfect. I think he does a good job of giving insightful, vague answers

[@nancymcnally7849]

I stumbled upon this channel at the VERY. MOMENT. I needed it most. This afternoon I told my husband that I don't think all that much of myself. Dr. D talking about how the man he was speaking to was worthy because he exists really and truly spoke right to my heart. Wow.

[@georgewagner7787]

You shouldn't say that to your spouse.

[@hismom5600]

@@georgewagner7787 As opposed to what? Keeping her troubling feelings bottled up?

[@ChinaConsultingTravelBlog]

Divorce is absolutely the best thing in a bad marriage. 6 years ago I divorced and it was one of the best things to happen in my life.

[@johnsmith2221]

what was the final moment that You knew it was over?

[@ChinaConsultingTravelBlog]

@@johnsmith2221 when I came home from work and my ex had taken off across the country with my kid

[@munterboy9298]

@@ChinaConsultingTravelBlog that sucks, do you till see your kid?

[@savedbygrace777]

Nice to hear, I am sick of being with an alcoholic. I am for marriage, but can’t take it anymore.

[@zeomarmob]

Not if you’re a man….

[@kimberlybarnett4050]

"I relieved her of the pistol"

[@svitlana1500]

I would not come up with a phrase like that. Also got my attention :-)

[@carstuff4u942]

LOL

[@reinamacaren-a4132]

He's military. I am as well so I understood. It's kinda a military thing

[@NT-bz5nh]

I feel that second caller. Her husband will always lie. It’s a habit. And it’s not just lying about money. He’s probably hiding and lying about other things. Not trying to scare anyone but it’s so hard to break away from habitual lying so best to stay away from those kind of people

[@NT-bz5nh]

Saying this from experience. I’m married to a man like this. Lies about money and others things. He won’t change.

[@Melly16yr10]

Why not get rid of him？

[@mikesmith-wk7vy]

he needs to get high quality gun safe and not let her have the combination in any circumstances

[@KidCity1985]

Thank you!

[@janephillips3627]

Then she may use the knives. He said she drinks, big problem right there.

[@Eyeris625]

Sorry, he's main concern are his kids. He needs to not walk, but run out the door with his kids and go far far far away from this mad woman. The kids are always 1st responsibility and therefore he should focus on them because God will provide at a later time what ever he is missing.

[@ifeawosika966]

Doesnt sound like he trusts God yet

[@munterboy9298]

Mom always gets the kids

[@cloudedcolour5329]

@@ifeawosika966 when it comes to a childs safety, trusting 'god' has NOTHING to do with it

[@cloudedcolour5329]

@@munterboy9298 not true, and not her kids

[@ifeawosika966]

@@cloudedcolour5329 People always lie about child's safety for sympathy.

[@marciaknight9308]

Wow! This guy is strong to acknowledge that he is vulnerable and that he needs a counsellor. The moment that the wife pulled the weapon while he had the baby was the moment that he needed to decide he was out and needed to call an attorney. She made that an unsafe environment and he needs to get him and the kids out. She needs counselling as well.

[@juliedewyer1366]

DUDE!!! RUN!!! She has issues. If whatever you did was THAT BAD, she would've left you by now (If she was smart/had a normal sense of self worth). Since she STAYED then that tells me she had MAJOR ISSUES. You are not safe! You're kids are not safe! RUN.

[@oki2660]

Violence and substance abuse are means for divorce.... The moment she had incident with gun around the baby you should have filed for divorce

[@Kivlor]

I'm pretty well on the "don't divorce" train. Even I looked at that and was shocked John didn't immediately say "nope out of there right now buddy" Probably was worried that the woman would go through with it if the H gets out.

[@nicolettemoore7711]

Thing is he feels guilty because I'm sure he was a hard person to live with and abusive to her from his trauma and she became a raging alcoholic from the trauma he inflicted on her. Yes she needs help and he needs to keep kids safe. I was in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic and I am ashamed to say I became a totally different person from the abuse and behaved totally outta character never had mental health issues and I had attempted suicide because of what I went through I needed an out and during that time I felt so isolated and lost and like only out was one way. My brain was damaged so bad from the trauma he inflicted. Took Years to, not get back to who I was with joy prior, but just to a point of mental health. I didn't become alcoholic but I can't drink because the trauma comes out in rage when I do. I was a happy joyful fun responsible drinker prior to the trauma. I chose not to

[@nicme]

So glad you pointed out that his wife was so desperate for a real connection with him. She is a good woman probably that was trying to find an action that he would actually notice. He admitted how emotionally unavailable he is but by instinct he won’t be unemotional hearing/seeing a weapon. I believe this phone call is a promising start for Josh and his family. His wife isn’t a bad person and neither is he.

[@thestorybehindthat5236]

If the gender roles were reversed no one would be giving this woman a second chances. That is totally unhinged. "Good" / safe people don't load a gun to get their spouses attention in a moment of desperation. There are so many safe effective things she could've done to get his attention including sitting him down and telling him she's suffering to such a degree that she's having suicidal thoughts and will need to end the marriage for her well being if he won't work on their marriage together with a professional.

[@emmaLEE2667]

I don't have any of the problems and situations of the callers but I get a lot out of the discussions. The ideas and feedback Dr. John provides adds to my life. Makes me think about things differently.

[@AshleyLebedev]

Same, Emily!

[@calgal5752]

Me too

[@misskristinyoo]

This is such an important and INCREDIBLE conversation that I think would benefit so many men (and even women) around the country. That caller just helped so many people without even realizing it. I pray he finds some peace and healing.

[@misskristinyoo]

@Ron Si Idk where I said I supported him in that. Praying that he finds peace is not me accepting his behavior. I admit I'm an empath who tries to find the good in all, but I am not dismissing his actions. I just think it was a good conversation and the man has a lot of healing to do in order to become a better person. I agree with you too.

[@misskristinyoo]

@Ron Si Thank you for this! Means a lot to me. And I wish the same for you :)

[@jillwilkerson2032]

Not a good idea to have a gun around when someone’s crazy.

[@patranizers4587]

Your advice is awesome - better than 20 years of therapists / doctors stringing me along in toxic relationships. I appreciate your bluntness - thank you 🙏

[@koreanplayboy]

Looking back at school, I wonder how many students were going through a really tough time because of stories like these, their children will deeply remember those moments.

[@blacksnk]

Sorry, my redline is, cops get involved, it’s over. Also, you pull a gun on me, we are SO done.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Absolutely

[@reneel2441]

If shes chambering a round she needs to leave. Wow he might not want to get shot in the future. That is CRAZY

[@reneekelley4279]

Have always believed in love to cure many things but it only fed my narc’s enormous ego. it is important to be wise when dealing with a narcissist and I’m glad that darkwebprohack helped cloned my husband’s phone. i got access to his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone,I’m here in Miami Florida USA and able to access my husband’s phone even while his was away in the UK cheating on me.All I did was share my husband’s phone number with darkwebprohack and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone through a remote link to a programmed app containing cloned cell information without having to touch his phone...my husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of darkwebprohack. My husband also tried to use this coronavirus outbreak as a means to get back to me but I’m not stupid to allow someone so toxic back into my life, I’m finally going through divorce with a lot of evidence against him. i read all deleted and recent chat on Whatsapp,Facebook,Instagram and GPS location of his phone at all times, you can contact the great hacker via Gmail (darkwebprohack) or text and speak to him directly on the phone and WhatsApp [phone] and I hope you will fund the peace with your heart after finding the truth just like myself.

[@powers6253]

@@reneekelley4279 What does this have to do with @Renee Citizen's comment or the video?

[@susanmarie2231]

Perhaps this couple should have NO guns in the house until further notice so that everyone feels safe with each other in the home.

[@brittanynorris2313]

Agreed, there should not be guns in a home with an alcoholic.

[@brittany7573]

Agreed

[@Elizabethatthebeach]

I cant imagine a combat veteran who experienced what he did voluntarily giving up his guns..😬

[@SD-hs2pk]

@@Elizabethatthebeach me either but at least secured in a way that she couldn't get to it

[@zachdarr7605]

I couldn't imagine feeling safe in a house if there aren't any guns

[@Atalanta571]

She needs treatment, and he needs a service dog! For free!

[@reneekelley4279]

Have always believed in love to cure many things but it only fed my narc’s enormous ego. it is important to be wise when dealing with a narcissist and I’m glad that darkwebprohack helped cloned my husband’s phone. i got access to his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone,I’m here in Miami Florida USA and able to access my husband’s phone even while his was away in the UK cheating on me.All I did was share my husband’s phone number with darkwebprohack and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone through a remote link to a programmed app containing cloned cell information without having to touch his phone...my husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of darkwebprohack. My husband also tried to use this coronavirus outbreak as a means to get back to me but I’m not stupid to allow someone so toxic back into my life, I’m finally going through divorce with a lot of evidence against him. i read all deleted and recent chat on Whatsapp,Facebook,Instagram and GPS location of his phone at all times, you can contact the great hacker via Gmail (darkwebprohack) or text and speak to him directly on the phone and WhatsApp [phone] and I hope you will fund the peace with your heart after finding the truth just like myself

[@bettinaorevil5056]

😪

[@emmyty]

A good counselor will have a balance of listening to your feelings and providing you tangible, actionable steps for handling your circumstances. I had to hunt around for someone who would do more than just listen to me b**** and complain. I am so grateful I found someone- he helped me beyond measure and I still implement what he taught me today.

[@sunkissed6220]

That first call was intense. Great advice and love how open and honest the caller was. Some say people don't change but when you get to a precipice, sometimes you have no other choice. Hope he calls back to give an update. Wish him well 🙏

[@HangNguyen-ih8rf]

Marrying a man that is “traumatizes and need heavy healing” is like drinking from a broken glasses and praying it won’t cut your mouth.

[@candyluna2929]

Nailed it!!! Best summary ever

[@Elizabethatthebeach]

Unfortunately, you don't always realize it until after the vows...

[@vickimerritt2832]

@@Elizabethatthebeach yes.

[@3roachkidsdhe]

Great and true analogy

[@lesliemontagne6797]

@@Elizabethatthebeach amen. not until 12 years in did I see the effects of his past. success made him want more. more power, more control. so selfish.

[@seaweedgreen4604]

Wife, Have a conversation with your husband give opportunity to tell you everything ( one time ) But first Hire private financial forensics account You need to know all financial costs he made Cause now your responsible. At that point then have conversation So you ll know if he is continue to lie To you If so, you need to go You can’t be in a relationship with a lier It won’t work n you’ll drive yourself insane You deserve happiness n not having to worry about your financial future Best of luck

[@turnovertheleaf5505]

Post Partum Depression . Love her enough to HELP her. Get her help

[@ceciliapreziose3783]

Another poor fella that thinks a partner is someone that needs to be saved, his wife had problems before him...................you marry what you look for

[@amandah3205]

Sounds like postpartum psychosis.... Different animal than PPD or Postpartum anxiety.

[@DarthFurie]

I also wondered if there was some type of postpartum illness. My sister had really bad postpartum mental illness and threw my nephew against a wall when she was asleep. Though he was a baby at the time, fortunately he did not have any lasting injuries, however from that time on she slept separately from him because she didn't trust herself. 4 years on they're doing great, but postpartum mental illnesses are terrifying! The wife 1000% needs to be checked out

[@Melly16yr10]

Whats postpartrum mean？

[@aisherwasher6959]

@@Melly16yr10 postpartum means "after birth". There are a number of conditions like postpartum depression that can occur due to the drastic changes and stress of giving birth

[@joywebster2678]

At 15 months of age? Getting late for any PP.

[@vaska1999]

​@@joywebster2678 5 months old, not 15.

[@BigD-jc6rj]

There is no shame in going on meds if you need it. We all know to AVOID harmful things like alcohol and drugs, because they make us worse, yet we avoid medications that can make us better. Of course, you have to be on the right ones, and go to a responsible paychiatrist.

[@emptysoul5057]

Make a stand . My husband used to drink and come home fighting mad. And I told him hey we're on the same team. If you're sad and drinking to extremes you need to tell me why and we need to get through it together. I told him I couldn't be there for him if he was the one beating me down. Ultimately I told him if he was gonna be drunk and violent he better not come inside because I could only be gentle and understanding so many times before my hood side came out and fought back. He quit drinking. I'm bigger and stronger than he is. I think he knew that causing a gentle giant to snap would be a bad idea. I wanted to always submit and keep sweet but at some point you gotta say hard no there's certain behavior that no marriage can survive. It just has to stop or leave. Much love .

[@haleymiller5400]

I hope Josh situation gets better. I hope this shows that it's okay to get help. I had thought listening about the situation with wife, I was wondering if she might have post partum depression since she had there baby 5 months ago. It may or not be true, just a thought. I'm loving john new show!

[@taleeco2977]

Definitely a possibility. Not many mothers get help post partum.

[@tiffanymackey2382]

Certainly possible. I had postpartum depression, 9 months short on sleep, plus other health issues resulting from it, and I felt like I was completely losing my mind. Once I was able to start getting more sleep, I was able to start healing and was in a better position to deal with the other issues.

[@jessieweitman-willich6345]

I was also wondering this. She is also probably caring for the three other children as well, thats a lot going on.

[@Mrs.TJTaylor]

He also said she was drinking and a mean drunk.

[@ccc-e1f]

Wow you are so gifted. We are blessed to have you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insights

[@davidjonburke2729]

It is so sad she's loading guns and he thinks her behavior is his fault. He's being manipulated and abused.

[@juliedewyer1366]

He needs to GET OUT before he ends up dead!

[@brendamoon2660]

Their child is five months old? It sounds like she has post partum depression. She's married to a guy who's been in treatment for anger management but didn't stick with treatment. This woman is close to killing herself because the pain of her life is unbearable. Once she's dead he can add that to his list of poor me stories to rope in the next wife.

[@fightsportspace7327]

Trash the husband whenever a wife calls in. Absolve the wife of all accountability when the husband calls in. Standard here

[@vaska1999]

He did say he wasn't there for her during her depression, so she started to self-medicate with alcohol. This incident makes it sound like she's in postpartum psychosis. He needs to make sure the children are safe, and with his wife around that's not really possible.

[@lindahuertarealtor]

As a woman I feel like Mothers get too many free passes when they hurt their children or pose a danger to their children. If the Father does it then he is exiled and a horrible person that loses his children and all his rights. Very sad and unbalanced. Trauma is real but I feel like men get the short end of the stick every time.

[@InesChamanette]

This is so true. There is a documentary about that, the red pill. Just groundbreaking

[@thestorybehindthat5236]

There is no relationship issue under the sun that warrants reaching for a loaded gun. Never ever EVER. The only time getting a gun should ever even enter your mind is if your life is in immediate danger and someone is trying to kill you or break into your house. Or if you're heading out for legal recreational use. Outside those conditions you will be labeled insane or a dangerous person and frankly ought to be at least charged for reckless endangerment and face legal consequences for your actions. This person shouldn't have firearm access in any way, shape, or form for the rest of her life.

[@kishajones841]

I wonder what, “ I relieved her of the pistol” looked like 😳

[@carstuff4u942]

Lol, right?

[@ainsleydodson]

I assume violence ensued

[@brendamoon2660]

From a guy who gave up on anger management treatment? Not hard to imagine

[@karen-if7zq]

A vulnerable man impresses me the most, they make you feel accepted by them and close. ❤

[@vanessapanek9959]

Go behind your back is disrespectful in the first place. Second of all the fact that you found credit card debt is also disrespectful because he’s not acknowledging the fact that you’re extending your kindness and generosity beyond your path to beyond your means.

[@Mrs.TJTaylor]

Also, his wife needs to go to rehab! He said she’s a mean drunk. Don’t need that around the babies.

[@moniquearcher1608]

I’m so touched my Dr. D and his approach to helping people.

[@vanessapanek9959]

I’m getting a divorce and it’s because I wasn’t allowed to have feelings😂

[@letgabeequaltrue9097]

In first second of call. "Yes you should. Next call."

[@Hr1gunnar]

Doctor D! That talk you gave to Josh there! Immense value! Thank you so much for that!

[@Ninja-qm8bp]

I'm not wanting to justify anything, but it sounds like she may be experiencing postpartum depression. Especially in these crazy times with COVID.

[@juliedewyer1366]

@Heinrich Himmler Yeah, nice idol you have there. 🙄

[@brandiphillips5775]

@Heinrich Himmler Postpartum psychosis should always at least be considered when someone does something like this 5 months after giving birth. That doesn't excuse anything but it can be treated with medicine. If it's not the issue then you can move on

[@tedhart4468]

For a vet the best therapist is other vets who been there and made it through the other side of the emotionals of it all a normal therapist can’t relate to your issues like a fellow vet or group of vets can

[@nancyt6895]

Dr. Deloney did a great job with this first caller.

[@brittany7573]

Sounds like postpartum depression to me. She has a 5 month old baby. I'm saddened that this dad does not realize this. I'm sure he could understand with him going through what he did during his service. Just like PTSD, postpartum is intense and can be dangerous for the person or the people around them. This mom needs her husband to be there for her and understand. I hope he pulls through and gets her professional help and just doesn't walk in and only make rules about gun safety and threaten to take the kids to keep them safe, which he should if need be.

[@caseyg7945]

I bet your right. I had post partum depression with my second child and it's brutal.

[@brittany7573]

@@caseyg7945 I had it after my first child. I had it pretty bad for a bit. I was seeing things in my room. Luckily I was not suicidal or aggressive. I ended up taking some medication for a few months and I was good as new.

[@PAPPY8389]

❤️thought the first call was beautiful wishing you abundant peace and love on your journey and John your advice is unique and heartfelt I also love your thoughts for connecting with his wife and children I believe that will truly create some next level, life long connection. ✌🏻❤️

[@Confidentk9sCa]

Yes, we need lots of help in life because life is never easy and impossible to fix ourselves. Both Josh and his wife need professional help but especially the children. That doesn’t mean they must stay together. But getting the right professional help will help him figure out what to do and where to go. I’ve lived through a lifetime of too many traumatic events. I was lucky to find help at a late stage of my life. I’m lucky to be alive still after all the trauma. Not a lot of people are that lucky. Please get help, not if but WHEN you need it! Don’t let anyone tell you getting help is weak. Finding and getting help is hard and the best thing we can do for ourselves. ❤️

[@anthonyfuller9933]

Stop getting married dude. You're obviously bad at judging character.

[@AMK544]

“I don’t believe in divorce” *already has been divorced once and is trending towards twice* Make it make sense 😂

[@sourapril]

he had nothing to give. he is not emotionally unavailable because he got nothing to offer. he needs to heal himself first and not worry about being the man who he should be.

[@janephillips3627]

In ref. to 1st call: The man said his wife drinks but John is Not addressing that part? Why? Excellent advice for this man but I don't know if it can work with an alcoholic.

[@patriciacole8773]

Alcoholism ruins more lives than anything on earth. Drugs too. And unfaithfulness. Might as well say when we break the Ten Commandments we hurt God and others. Ourselves included.

[@vanessapanek9959]

If you’re not emotionally available for yourself, how can you be emotionally available for anybody else as a dude?

[@colinbarrett5120]

current wife sounds nuts

[@heyitsshay6058]

Literally Judy stumbled upon this channel and now I'm going down thw rabbit hole of videos. Started with " he finds me unattractive " and subbed right away. A new favorite 👐🏾

[@Archivist82]

As soon as I heard ‘supergroup’, I knew it was Audioslave! And that song helped me leave an abusive situation. Amazing song and band.

[@maryfeigen7715]

John you are totally awesome. Good job. Good advice!

[@reneekelley4279]

Have always believed in love to cure many things but it only fed my narc’s enormous ego. it is important to be wise when dealing with a narcissist and I’m glad that darkwebprohack helped cloned my husband’s phone. i got access to his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone,I’m here in Miami Florida USA and able to access my husband’s phone even while his was away in the UK cheating on me.All I did was share my husband’s phone number with darkwebprohack and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone through a remote link to a programmed app containing cloned cell information without having to touch his phone...my husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of darkwebprohack. My husband also tried to use this coronavirus outbreak as a means to get back to me but I’m not stupid to allow someone so toxic back into my life, I’m finally going through divorce with a lot of evidence against him. i read all deleted and recent chat on Whatsapp,Facebook,Instagram and GPS location of his phone at all times, you can contact the great hacker via Gmail (darkwebprohack) or text and speak to him directly on the phone and WhatsApp [phone] and I hope you will fund the peace with your heart after finding the truth just like myself

[@geaninagog9619]

Goodness! thank you so much for THE TRUTH !

[@san39]

i hope this guy will cry a lot the coming weeks.. he needs it... just crying and feel himself open up. will be scary for his family.. i hope they wil be able to handle it.

[@yungjamir]

Thank You For Your Service! 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@brendamoon2660]

Did anyone else hear the disgust in his voice when he says "depressive"? I would love to know if she was depressed before she married him. It sounds like he should divorce her to save her life. She's not going to get any better while she's married to this guy.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Yes I caught that as well. He should not have gotten into a relationship surely not married. Hope she is free of him by now.

[@sarahvigue]

I love Dr. John! What a great person.

[@jasonnames]

Well... it's not a lie. That's what men need to be. but we also need to have control of when it's necessary and when we can let loose.

[@gabrielamartiniuc6322]

Wow. Brings out a pistol because she wants attention? That’s so absolutely manipulative AND dangerous!!! I got zero attention from my ex husband. I dealt with it rationally. I hear weakness as well when I hear “vulnerability “ I was raised to shut up and perform.

[@ihateutube1143]

Did you marry some Chad?because by looking at you, I find it hard to believe he wasn't into you

[@seaweedgreen4604]

I hear you concern.... but you ll realize in time the break has happened You need a safe n counseling for you n your kids.... please get help for your wife .... but she needs to be on her own Give her time to heal Tell her she needs help N say I will take care of kids Once you are well then you can talk about the marriage.... n decide. Making decision right now is a mistake. Get yourself in counseling n her too For family sake.... But kids are priority n safe Ask family n friends to help with kids.... But wife needs to be out of home I wish love for you n family I will pray for you !!! God bless you !!! Navy wife Navy mom 1st responder Much love respect serving our country at great cost Let us help you .... open yourself to others We won’t let you down!!!! 🇺🇸💪😁

[@emanueltosado4818]

I loved how you started this video. Thumbs down for sharing what rug to buy. Lol

[@susanmarie2231]

There are special interest Facebook groups for things like home decor, pets, gardening, etc. and people should seek these out for kindred spirits who do care. Best wishes.

[@lynfrazier836]

Pray for Gods wisdom.

[@HOLDXSTEEL]

The answer to the question....yes

[@jillgott6567]

Good luck to this awesome .an facing these challenges and keeping his kids as his first priority. He is a true man

[@vickimerritt2832]

I suspect he was very emotionally abusive, military service changes men into trouble live with. The higher the rank the more they expect subservience. Beng married to one is like being in jail, under arrest, in perpetual boot camp,

[@ramblinrosecottage5983]

I'm calling BS on the sharing of pets, funny little things that happen in your day, etc and nobody cares. 1. Sharing these things are 1000 times better than sharing political, or religious, or events that bring out strong opinions. There's so much anger these days that posting a cute picture or video clip of my girls (my chickens) brings a smile to others' faces. 2. I don't really care if nobody cares. I post what I want. So there. Neener, neener, neener.

[@brendamoon2660]

That cracked me up? What would he be doing for a job?

[@glai5752]

Excellent call. Excellent answer.

[@callmecordelia7181]

Why did no one talk about postpartum depression? She had a 5 month old when she pulled the gun on herself. Also yes they need marriage therapy and he needs to connect to his wife.

[@ontheroadrvstyle2565]

I have been there. Good luck do what your heart says.

[@hassandawudi4810]

How the hell you retire at 21? There are plenty of jobs that you can do that aren't physically demanding. My SIL works from home for a call center. Retired at 21, joke. We've all had personal problems; get healthy and go to work instead of being on welfare for the next 60 years. Also, make better choices with your women.

[@vanessapanek9959]

Basically means that you’re willing to do whatever and say whatever in order to make it out alive

[@stephenwa7417]

I could see why she would cheat.. but at the end of the day... she made that choice to lose her kids.. so it is what it is...

[@alexrader5822]

God I started tearing up around 19:30 with that amazing sentiment.

[@vanessapanek9959]

It’s the Oracle of truth not the fountain ⛲️ of youth because the person who holds the knowledge holds the power

[@vanessapanek9959]

Don’t cosign for cars either

[@garytortorella1879]

What is a blended family with no kids?

[@cloudedcolour5329]

kids on both sides with no kids together

[@JubJub9600]

My favorite episode of his to date. The advice he gave to the soldier was excellent

[@debbielockhart7762]

I thunk it was stupid. The guy should remove the kids immediately from a nasty drunk who also chambered a gun. Wow.

[@vanessapanek9959]

Most soldiers will come home and they will have CPTSD, which is complex post traumatic stress disorder

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Anytime a partner pulls out a gun, it's time to go.

[@xyzsame4081]

Second caller: she is the mother in the relationship. and he pushes her into this role by being childish. The unwise spending 8with debt) is bad enough, but doing it behind her back after she disagreed and he acted _as if_ he had accetped her objections is the worst thing. That is very immature and weak. She plays along with the assignment of being the (exasperated) mother that has to say no to a kind of resentful, sneaky teenager a) being circumspect but also controlling ....is her pattern and b) she likes him and hopes he will change. - The way she framed it: "He came to me and asked if he could spend ..... " (I think the examples she gave were for his education, on the surface that is not frivolous spending. Could be a sky in the pie or ego boost project of course). And she said reluctantly yes, and another time she said no. That is the mother. She then downplays what that says about their relationship: "We have a rule that we ask each other when we spend more than 50 dollar." Nice try: How often does he "have to" ask, and how often does she need to ask his permission ?? I assume her purchases / spending desires are usually prudent so even if she asks him that is a formality. She put that rule in place (you bet that was her idea) to spare his feelings. And to spare her feelings too - that way she does not have to feel the shame of settling for the relationship with a man on whom she needs to put on those rules, and does not have to be honest to herself. I find 50 USD a too low limit - between rational adults that amount should be a no brainer. And also: if you go grocery shopping and shop to fill up your pantry, 50 bucks is nothing. Or if you fill up gas. You can be frugal with 80 bucks and frivolousy buy a few rather expensive (not necessary) groceries for 40 bucks. The 50 bucks limit just does not make sense to me. IF they are THAT much in financial trouble and / or need that limit at least one of them has a major spending addiction problem. If it is necessary to have joint decisions on as little as 50 USD, there is something very wrong in the marriage. (as I write this I realized THAT sounds also a rule that parents could give to a younger teenager. That child is allowed to spend the money given by relatives and their allowance, but if they spend 50 USD or more on one article or in one setting, they are supposed to ask the parents. So they can give their opinion, the child has to come up with a reason, and does not spend on impulse but has to delay it, at least for a few hours. Parents do not even need to assume a veto power, making mistakes and finding yourself stripped for cash is part of the process for many to learn to deny themselves instant gratification. But it adds an element of delay and of thinking about WHY you want to spend that and why now. Either he is addicted to spending and very impulsive AND not willing to delegate to her. John Delony said when they got a baby he started spending (freaked out new father). So he asked ! his wife for help and handed over his credit cards for a while. That did not make him his wife's boy, because he still took responsibility, incl. his need to have more restrictions. But the 50 USD boundary is no such a help / crutch - since he obviously sneaks around it and with amounts that are much more substantial. She says no to the big spending he wants, he does it behind her back (and for way more than 50 bucks), and then it turns out the program is too intense for him, so wasted money. A _MAN_ would insist that he spends the money and would enroll, he would live with the disapproval of his wife, or make concessions (extra work or cutting other spending that is mainly for him). But a man would also later openly admit that he is struggling with the program (the secrecy might even have been a cause why he was not able to keep up, did he have to hide that he was learning and going there ?). That honest admission would set them up for the next time when she is against some spending that he wants. Going into debt for a degree that gets him a higher wage, a better job, more job security and options _can_ be a rational move. there is a certain risk (he does not get the better jobs he hoped for, he gets sick, he drops out, they have the debt for sure, but the benefits are only in the future and not sure. What if she loses her job or gets sick for a while, and his better income has not yet kicked in, but they do have the higher debt) If he had stubbornly ploughed through and proved her wrong in this point - he would have acted like a man. The marriage would be better for it. She sees him working through adversity (the teenager like behavior suggests he is not good with that, may be another reason he did not succeed in the secret courses). he holds up under pressure (of her disapproval). He is able to bring in more money. He gains confidence and more power in the relationship. From that position he _can_ take it being asked to not spend 50 or 100 bucks if he earns the same or more than her. From a position of strength and sovereignity. If a partner sneakily spends behind the back of the other spouse (or worse: piles up debt) it is often ! that they deep down know their spending cannot be rationally justified. They feel compelled to spend to satisfy an emotional need and it would not hold up to the more intense scrutiny of a partner intent on paying down debt. So they seem to accept the No of the partner - but then cheat. In another call that Dave Ramsey handeld a man doing FPU bought a 69,000 truck. He had a mentor and I think he even sees him in real life. It just so happened that he did not ask the mentor until after the fact. entor saw the vehicle parked. The noble reason was that the family of the man had moved closer (30 minutes) and the new vehicle would hold his sibling, the in-law and the nieces and nephews. (Are the kids moved around in a horse buggy if the uncle does not show up in a new 69k truck ? - has 101k debt (likely low interest, 85 k mortgage and some student loans) did FPU, single man, makes 95,000 per year but since he works in construction he only has job security for 2 months. Pandemic recession anyone ?? He knew full well this was an idiotic move and his mentor would have very good and reasonable objections. So in order to spare himself the trouble he went ahead and did not tell. That was an ego boost, to show up in front of family with the big shiny truck. Of course he did not cheat on a spouse, and not on the mentor, he only cheated himself. That is childish behavior, and sometimes the cheater kinda knows what they are doing, but goes ahead with it anyway. That is hard to build on if it is a reapeated pattern. There is irrational compulsive (or at least impulsive) behavior underneath it. No cure by "rules" for that. Certainly not a petty rule like even debating 50 USD. And he is not on board with the get out of debt thing anyway. I wonder who is the main breadwinner ....

[@leahwilliams9333]

Lol a year later and $50 is the new $20

[@GwenMotoGirl]

Thanks to Josh for his service. EMDR therapy released me from PTSD. I hope he tries it. I don’t believe that his wife is trustworthy and I think he should take the kids and go.

[@vanessapanek9959]

This is called rewriting the narrative that people don’t understand

[@CPATuttle]

I would never have a gun in my house for that reason

[@vanessapanek9959]

It’s the thousand yards stair it’s the comfortably numb feeling

[@vanessapanek9959]

As a woman in the year 2023 keep your finances separate then there’s no argument

[@EmpressMermaid]

Is it just me? That graphic he uses at the bottom of the screen messes with my OCD. Especially the red diagonal line with the half blue line on one side.I love the John D show but I can't look at the screen while he's talking. Yeah, I know, weird.

[@AC-qo8oq]

Bothers me too but it goes away

[@vanessapanek9959]

Keep your finances separate it makes divorces easier if you ever have to go that route and

[@vanessapanek9959]

You pay bills together, half-and-half as consenting adults keep your finances separate you’ll keep yourself out of court

[@numanuma20]

How are people so comfortable talking about their mental health on a national radio podcast.

[@candyluna2929]

Bc is less personal

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Don't listen if it makes you uncomfortable. Leave it to the less fearful.

[@asamusicdude]

I was the vulnerable one in my marrige and my wife saw it as a weakness because her father wasnt ever there for her she has deep rooted issues from her father. She was so competitive with me from the get go.blames all problems on me and left to her sisters. I'm a stander till I God says it's time to get back together

[@vanessapanek9959]

All it means is that you have underlining issues you need to take care of