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@justforlaughs52623 жыл бұрын
Men should take care of the house meaning Rent/mortgage, light, water. Women take care of the man meaning groceries, laundry and cleaning supply. Women make a house a home we can't do all that paying bills
@yeahthatsme9213 жыл бұрын
😭😭😭😂😂😂😂
@evy30903 жыл бұрын
I agree
@QueenAmour88883 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@RR-us1lt3 жыл бұрын
Those financially anxious men wanna be someone's son forever. Then wonder why the sexual chemistry is lacking
@Arose4443 жыл бұрын
@@RR-us1lt Exactly.
@Mmmmkaaay3 жыл бұрын
I made the mistake in my marriage to blend our paychecks and pay bills. We both made about the same, but I ended up with far more childcare and homemaking and shopping duties. It never felt fair and I was always exhausted.
@Fancypolkadots3 жыл бұрын
Exactly! Then they want you to be turned on for intimacy after being a stressed out work mule and nurturer. That 50/50 equation definitely benefits the man.
@TanzaniteHayley3 жыл бұрын
You’re exhausted and he demands sex but doesn’t lift a finger around the house.
@rebelglamhair3 жыл бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@RRthee13 жыл бұрын
@@Fancypolkadots It absolutely benefits the man. 50/50 = 100% good life for HIM.
@jaquaidakinney90343 жыл бұрын
Always have your own bank account
@327tzm43 жыл бұрын
Thank for breaking this down. Too many men think 50/50 means splitting the bills straight down the middle; and at home the woman must come from work to cook, clean and take care of the kids. Putting so much burden on the women
@j.dillonthescene3 жыл бұрын
I'm old school when a woman got a husband she shouldn't even be working 😎🥃
@RRthee13 жыл бұрын
THIS
@lorismalls65253 жыл бұрын
Right, that’s not 50/50. The women is doing more if the man isn’t helping out. Sweat equity counts because if someone was hired to cook, clean, etc. they would charge a fee and get paid.
@jaquaidakinney90343 жыл бұрын
Some women like to work even tho she has a husband. I would be bored as fuck being at home all day. I don’t have children
@parkerlion1563 жыл бұрын
This was me. And drained af.
@4WindsofChange3 жыл бұрын
Both parties should give 100 percent of themselves in communication, commitment, love and affection. As far as the finances go, I believe the man should be the main financial provider.
@EvaElyse3 жыл бұрын
This 🎯
@ashgreen35743 жыл бұрын
Good luck. Its a wonder these days if he even has a job
@AriaPringle90533 жыл бұрын
@Sheila I agree.
@omg7033 жыл бұрын
Yup. I agree with this.
@QueenAmour88883 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@khadijahnyabinghi3 жыл бұрын
No. A man is by nature the provider. Role reversal never ends well. A feminine man and a masculine woman equal a disastrous relationship.
@aminah7613 жыл бұрын
PERIOD
@sophisticatedmm36323 жыл бұрын
Round of applause. I feel this way.
@tinker22173 жыл бұрын
Hell yeah
@maryamkim12813 жыл бұрын
Role playing always ends well? Mature and satisfying relationships don't work that way.
@theothesir3 жыл бұрын
Actually no. That dynamic you mention could work if roles are understood.
@Reshme773 жыл бұрын
What does a woman bring to the table? answer: the silverware the food and the tablecloth If certain men are getting upset upon what women bring to the table perhaps they shouldn't be with a woman then
@truarnett55193 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂👋👋👋🙄🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣
@emiolaomotayo74973 жыл бұрын
The woman is the table. When the roles are executed properly she provides the stability he needs to manifest. She is the wings that make his dreams and aspirations fly.
@rchot843 жыл бұрын
This is comical 😂, but to each their own.
@luxuriousmindset19062 жыл бұрын
@@emiolaomotayo7497 no not at all a woman doesn't contribute to a man's ambition if he does he's soft he's supposed to be self sufficient
@picklepoppers82232 жыл бұрын
😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@melc83883 жыл бұрын
I've heard that statement about building with a man until he gets his feet off the ground. However say if a man sees a very overweight woman..will he say yea I'll go with her and help her lose weight etc lol hardly...a lot of men dont like to settle whether they broke or not...just an example btw
@TheLadyQuashia3 жыл бұрын
But your so right. They would say oh she needs to lose the weight or men are visual creatures. If she WANTS to lose weight why not stand by her. That brings up why can’t females say get your finances together, it be coming off double standards to me. Just like men like finish product why can’t we women. It makes me feel we need to settle why they get to bask in entitlement
@melc83883 жыл бұрын
@@TheLadyQuashia exactly double standards
@cantrice59943 жыл бұрын
Yes yes yes yes sis!
@RR-us1lt3 жыл бұрын
If you build a man he will later say he did it all himself
@ayaimani6063 жыл бұрын
@@RR-us1lt This! I have a guy friend his wife helped him get out of debt and level up financially back when they were dating and living together before marriage- he moved in to her place. Now he has amnesia and swears that’s not how it it happened. He’s a fairly solid dude (now, took him a long ass time to mature), so I don’t see him doing her shady or anything but it’s just funny how easy they forget.
@MsRight-sb5ds3 жыл бұрын
If a man wants to go 50/50 and expects the woman to take care of the home, cook and clean please help me understand how this benefits the woman. And if she has to halt her career to have children. I would rather have a roommate who I know will wash their own dishes.
@KevHick3 жыл бұрын
That’s not the context of this video. That wouldn’t benefit the woman. That’s not whats being said here. No other gender roles or household chores were discussed. I agree with you.
@MsRight-sb5ds3 жыл бұрын
@@KevHick yes, but unfortunately this is typically how these situations organically operate. It’s difficult to have this discussion regarding the financial aspect of the relationship without considering this aspect of household responsibilities as well. If the couple decides to have children, most likely she will be the taking off work and sacrificing her career. If she returns fi work, she will likely have the bulk of the responsibility of caring for the child. Certainly not always, but it’s common.
@KevHick3 жыл бұрын
@@MsRight-sb5ds for me split bills means splitting household chores. A real man cares for his kid regardless of financial structure. If we’re doing gender roles though we’re doing them all the way. Outside of the kids.
@Itsjasmine-ek9ojАй бұрын
Stupid
@g4799-o6x3 жыл бұрын
Money is not the only asset. If I'm bringing softness, femininity, nurturing, raising kids, cheerleading and making his life peaceful and fun, he's definitely paying 100%.
@tatyanacanales5693 жыл бұрын
I agree cause when I was married. I was making twice as much money than my husband, but we STILL split bills 50/50. Why? Cause I have other expenses that he doesnt have: getting hair done, nails done, makeup supplies, and gym memberships to maintain my figure.
@LadyJani3 жыл бұрын
Agree
@garygreen71043 жыл бұрын
@@tatyanacanales569 huh? 🙄
@Educatedlame3 жыл бұрын
Nope 50.50 or stay single
@Harrizist3 жыл бұрын
100% huh 🤔…?? That means I’m clapping THEM CHEEKs. Every min Every HR I want however whenever. No ands if it buts. Yu want the bills paid coo.. I need to be satisfied & some stress to be relieved 😌 😆
@TanzaniteHayley3 жыл бұрын
If he earns more than me because his baby/babies is/are permanently attached to my breast then no. It ain’t 50/50. Maternity is 9 months paid leave (reduced rate) in the UK and childcare is extortionate. If I have to compromise my career, I’ll never pay 50/50.
@aminah7613 жыл бұрын
I’m not going 50/50 with no man 👨 that’s a roommate not a husband or relationship.
@djayscruggs87863 жыл бұрын
Depends how your language is everyone has there own definition n prospective in how they see things 50/50 can mean many things for people I can cook clean n take care my kids. As well as she dose it not just a female role we both did the deed both responsibility don't I expect her to pay bill s no if she wants to help it fine with me cause she independent if I get home before she dose I cook clean wash our clothes n watch the kids its being a team
@icietla463 жыл бұрын
@@djayscruggs8786 she’s single no need to respond to her.
@garygreen71043 жыл бұрын
Do you sleep with your roommates? If you're being intimate with your partner and you go half on bills, you're not roommates.
@emiolaomotayo74973 жыл бұрын
@@garygreen7104 I'm sorry Gary but in keeping with the info Kev provided and explained quite extensively...if you're living SEPARATE FINANCIAL lives the fact that you share a dwelling whereby all expenses are split down the middle is THE DEFINITION of "roommate". Two separate households under the same roof. The fact that sex is involved is just "benefits". More often than not the woman gets the short end of such a "situationship" masquerading as a "relationship". Living together is a LEGALLY BINDING situation. Whomever's name is on the lease bears the responsibility LEGALLY (the pros and the cons). If you have separate leases and separate finances at the same address.....that is a roommate BY LAW.....PERIOD! On tax filing day you DECLARE the truth about what you and your bed buddy truly are. The rest is bullshit to justify getting over on someone. The devil is in the details to determine who is the manipulator because men get played with this too. But this video is advice for women sooooo that's the perspective being presented. SEX is NOT a relationship defining factor outside of "traditional" boundaries and traditionally speaking sex belongs in marriage only. So IF you want sex on the table (man or woman) just know it only changes your feelings (MAYBE)....not your reality. When things fall apart that's when folks learn that lesson.
@rchot843 жыл бұрын
@@emiolaomotayo7497 Your trying to define a relationship with your own views. Some relationship actually are 50/50 some a 100/0. It's whatever works for the couple and their situation.
@KevHick3 жыл бұрын
There are no absolute answers to this question. Some women love gender roles and some women despise them. To each her own. There are many valid reasons to split bills depending on the circumstances. An established enough man should take care of them. A successful couple may still split with two solid incomes in the home. Everyone does what’s best for them. My wife hasn’t had to work in 8 years. We built from nothing. Loyalty bought is loyalty sold. I’m glad I found someone that cared about more than my wallet when she met me. Even though I’ve always paid the majority of the bills, even when I was broke. Too many women selecting wallets instead of partners. Getting 100 percent on bills but 10 percent on character. Not to demonize the women who only want established providers, but you should also be willing to perform a woman’s traditional gender roles if that’s the case.
@koko.39923 жыл бұрын
So true, Kev 🙂!!
@exohsxx34323 жыл бұрын
I have to disagree with your very last sentence. It's not wrong for a woman to want an established provider, like you said, to each her own. She won't get with a guy who is not established yet and that's okay, she's not bothering anyone. She does not need to necessarily conform to gender roles for women either as these gender roles can seem oppressive to women and will only benefit men. Men are biologically built to provide so that's why some of us women require a man who will be able to provide from the get-go and won't settle for less. That doesn't mean we will belittle those who arent a provider yet, we just simply won't associate with them. And to say, if we require a man to provide fully, we have to conform to gender roles as a woman, is very unfair as it only benefit men and doesn't give women choice what they want to do with their body/life. But if a man becomes a provider, it benefits the whole community and it won't be by force. It'll be when yall are ready to step up to the game. So no, women who require a provider doesn't need to necessarily follow gender roles like giving birth etc. To each their own.
@SimpleSuzie1233 жыл бұрын
Exactly. Why do heterosexual people have such a difficult time with this? We should definitely take a page from our rainbow counterparts. This does not seem to be so much of an issue for LGBTQ couples.
@MinecraftSuperZocker3 жыл бұрын
@@exohsxx3432 I assume that Kev is coming from a place, where often people expect that if they put themselves in a traditional gender role that they will get someone that follows the equivalent gender role for the opposite gender. So if you want a man to be traditional by being the established provider, you will have a way better chance of actually getting someone who will provide for you, if you also follow traditional values as woman by being a nurturer and home-maker. Ultimately it's up to both to get what they want out of the relationship though.
@null41773 жыл бұрын
@@SimpleSuzie123 yea, because they’re already living a lifestyle tht doesn’t make sense. It’s no different than room mating .
@minigolfandothergames70963 жыл бұрын
We have 1 joint account for household bills. Mortgage, utilities, groceries, autos, insurance, etc. We have separate joint accounts for our own personal things. Our joint bills are budgeted so we split that down the middle. What works for us doesn’t necessarily work for others. My advice is that this is a conversation that should be had once you are ready for that committed step.
@snooty41803 жыл бұрын
Definitely a conversation when crossing over into commitment.
@CrystalDatingCoach3 жыл бұрын
EXACTLY! A Date is a Date. Were not in a Relationship!
@tierramakeupconfidence7743 жыл бұрын
Why do women always have to be “understanding” when a man is lacking? If you are not a full provider yet, wtf are you tryin to date? Get your finances right then find a woman to have a relationship with. I’m not bout to build with no man ✋🏾. I already have my shit all the way together and so should he if he even looks my way.
@j.dillonthescene3 жыл бұрын
Speak sis they got women out here paying men house notes, buying them cars ,flying them out on trips I am not doing any of that s***
@tierramakeupconfidence7743 жыл бұрын
@@j.dillonthescene exactly 👏🏽. If we can do it, so can they! I have no sympathy for a man that can’t get his own bag and be in a position to provide!
@tajaking49463 жыл бұрын
You make some valid points so I totally understand where your coming from. I've heard the word "understanding' so much its ridiculous. If a man can't afford his basic things by himself, than he shouldn't even be focusing on being in a relationship etc. As a woman when I wasn't able to support myself, I wasn't looking for a man to take care of me, that's my responsibility, I'm an adult. I wasn't raise that way by my parents. Grown people should support themselves majority of the time. I understand hard times can and will happen, only God can foretell the future. I'm willing to help and be supportive however its only to a certain extent with a boyfriend, it's not right to give husband supportive benefits to a boyfriend to me personally be it that I want to be married one day if God is willing but to each is her own. I understand"Team work makes the dream work." But so many men use the word "understanding " as an excuse. Not to in generalize all men but for those who do. I believe in God and his son Jesus Christ so, a man leading and showing that he can be a good leader for a potential husband is the best way to go. If he doesn't know how to lead he shouldn't be trying to take on a relationship and or be married. This was an awesome video, I enjoy his content.
@cantrice59943 жыл бұрын
Exactly your not in a position to date some one if you can’t pay the bills. So we suppose to Go 50/50 on the date too.. hell to the no!
@emiolaomotayo74973 жыл бұрын
"Understanding" is a spouse benefit. Single folks should be "choosing". If it don't fit don't force it. You'll just play yourself. That doesn't mean to lack empathy. It simply means watch and wait. It is unrealistic to accept a relationship "as is" but secretly having ultimatums. Just choose wisely. "Potential" is 100% YOUR IMAGINATION. It isn't real.
@flyandshy003 жыл бұрын
I never paid 50/50, not even on dates. If a man lived alone, he would pay all bill, a woman doesn;t add more to it. So he uses your body and leeches your money, after 10 years, he makes 6 figures, you're wrinkly and broke, he leaves you for a younger model and pays her bills and expenses. Don't give up what you can't get back. Don't let men take advantage of you, if he makes twice as much money, he should pay your and his bills.
@createurdemavie3 жыл бұрын
Love you 😘
@thesovereignwoman3 жыл бұрын
My thoughts exactly!!!🙌🏾🙌🏾
@toriyt27143 жыл бұрын
If you are intimate with a dude and you split bills you are a convenient roommate. How will you know he truly wants you or you are just a convenient bonus.
@MrPrettyBoyChina2 жыл бұрын
You paying all your bills right too? 60/40 is fair.
@dieseldawg71322 жыл бұрын
I would be happy with a 70/30 I make a lot of money and have a house and rentals life is an investment if a woman isn’t invested in me why would I wanna be with her, she’s the leach if she thinks I am gonna pay for every single thing, if a man married you and pays for everything the whole time a woman can easily file for divorce and try to take everything …. No wonder your broke and struggling
@PrsWater83 жыл бұрын
Roommates should always split the bills....
@aminah7613 жыл бұрын
Exactly a husband should not be 50/50 that’s a roommate
@CrystalDatingCoach3 жыл бұрын
Yes Roommates. But if your have sex...you are not ROOMMATES!
@shutit40243 жыл бұрын
@@CrystalDatingCoach what are they then? Friends with benefits?
@CrystalDatingCoach3 жыл бұрын
@@shutit4024 Exactly darling! If your paying HALF the Rent...better to live w/your Bff.
@shutit40243 жыл бұрын
@@CrystalDatingCoach I agree
@shannongray-chappell60823 жыл бұрын
I agree with 50/50 under the circumstances you mentioned. The issue when I and my now-husband started, is I made more money, and I found myself at times covering his portion and mine, with him paying me back. Lol The kicker is I wasn't able to do the same if I found myself in this situation. When I had to stop working he wasn't able to carry anything on his own for a moment. He always depended on my "half". And now that I get SSI he still gets my "half" for rent and household expenses. I am secretly resentful as hell I must admit. A man with no resources or plan.
@ashgreen35743 жыл бұрын
I feel you. After I had our one and only child my now ex husband quit his job and didn't even try to find another one. I was on maternity leave for 3 or 4 months, went back to work to support us all. We were then on foodstamps since he wasn't working and we soon moved to section 8 housing. I was unhappy at the job and wished I could stay with baby longer and became resentful too. I ended up leaving the job and living off about 4k for a year since I was already on section i and foodstamps and he still didn't get a job in that year. Useless.
@justfit713 жыл бұрын
Why are you resentful?
@justfit713 жыл бұрын
@Shanno why are you resentful?
@shannongray-chappell60823 жыл бұрын
@@justfit71 I felt like I was the only one resolving financial issues, I was the only one with resources, I should be equally covered.
@tinker22173 жыл бұрын
🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿‼️‼️‼️
@angelicaangel26243 жыл бұрын
I don't believe in 50/50. My father always paid the bills growing up and my mother bought groceries. It would have worked out 95/5 in my parents case. Maybe it's what I'm used to but I just couldn't settle for anything less.
@maryamkim12813 жыл бұрын
Groceries must have been REALLY cheap then if food was just 5% of a family-with-kids' living costs!
@taybee46533 жыл бұрын
My father paid all the bills when I was growing up as well.
@saintsgang80392 жыл бұрын
We’re living in the time when your father was taking care of your mother. You have to pay now.
@angelicaangel26242 жыл бұрын
@@saintsgang8039 no I don't have to pay and I won't. Any woman whose husband is not taking care of her financially should have to go without sex/cooking/cleaning etc indefinitely.
@picklepoppers82232 жыл бұрын
What world do you live in miss? It's not the 60s or 70s. Please stop being a lazy freeloader and be part of the unit. A household is a unit and both men and women need to work as a team.
@missuniverse89313 жыл бұрын
If their roommates. If they are in a relationship, the man should pay the bills.
@sophisticatedmm36323 жыл бұрын
YES thank you
@A-list3 жыл бұрын
HELL NO. I am his Lady LOVE not his effen roommate.
@Mental_Alchemist Жыл бұрын
Its the entitlement that kills me. You just an expensive pet.
@Apple-zt7be8 ай бұрын
@@Mental_Alchemistyou’re too broke to provide.
@Mental_Alchemist8 ай бұрын
@@Apple-zt7be nah. I could, but Only broke bummy women actually need a provider in America in 2024 It's just the irony that got me laughing at jokes like that😭 Picturr a bum telling me I don't give her change bcuz I can't afford it. 😂😂😭 Hilarious
@josiahbutler2254Ай бұрын
@@Mental_Alchemistu could… that just another word for no i cant 😂😂😂
@Peacelovehappiness1013 жыл бұрын
Do what works for your relationship. If he's able to pay all the bills, pay all the bills. However, if yall can do 50/50 60/40 70/30 As long as you're building something. Just don't let a user use you. And if you're already married, in serious relationship or else. Build a business and let business take care of yallz.
@bonhommesmears87023 жыл бұрын
🎯🎯
@tinker22173 жыл бұрын
Very well said.
@chrissy14483 жыл бұрын
💯💯
@tarabrown7403 жыл бұрын
👏🏽👏🏽
@picklepoppers82232 жыл бұрын
Sorry..but I am not responsible for her debts. Same goes for her towards me. I personally am very very good with money. I paid off 20k in student loans on my day of graduation. I busted my rear end working and finishing university with no debt. I am NOT going to be responsible for her frivolous spending spree. No way. And I will not have any joint accounts with her. Only when we have to pay MTG or rent we can have a joint acc that is separate from our regular payroll account.
@aehutmacher3 жыл бұрын
We are not in the 50s any more. Women work now. There is absolutely no reason for women to not contribute to the financial health of the couple.
@Ty-hl5jk3 жыл бұрын
Finally!! 🙌🏼
@mimia.48102 жыл бұрын
Here's a reason: women do most of the housework and therefore shouldn't have to be burdened with the additional stress of finances. You're right it's not the 50s but women still cook and clean like it is, so let men pay like it is.
@slummadekell76262 жыл бұрын
@@mimia.4810 it's not the 50s , men are not called sissy's for doing housework anymore. It's a new era, that old mindset gone die with the old generation.
@mimia.48102 жыл бұрын
@@slummadekell7626 I know what you mean. Times have changed and gender roles aren't as forced, however most men even today still don't do housework. Also, you have to consider it's women that bear children. It's hard for women to be mothers and still breadwinners for their families. I think the man should carry the weight of breadwinning.
@thepragmatist5 ай бұрын
I agree with this.
@almonmayze56783 жыл бұрын
‘In proportion to each income’. Ditto!!!
@susanstewart51943 жыл бұрын
When I met my husband we both had no money just two young broke folk. He had a car and I lived at home with my parents. Once we got crazy about each other we would just hang out at the park together, visit with his buddies, he would take me out to eat (his sister's house she was married and doing the cooking :) All free, all I cared about was being with him. Never did he ask me to pay half of anything. Once we married all money earned went into the same bank account and we just paid the bills and there was no measuring of 50/50 crap. I will add that I am budget-minded and do not buy anything beyond my means and charge up credit and neither does he.
@chelsieromero48743 жыл бұрын
Best comment ever👏👏👏💯... It's all about treating each other equal and with the same kind of respect. So many women commenting about if their significant other earns more money than them they not paying nothing. That's being immature! If you are in a committed relationship you should work together as a team not go into a relationship just for fun, excitement and luxury. If you're not ready for a committed relationship it doesn't make sense dating🤷🏽♀️
@catmouse28823 жыл бұрын
@@chelsieromero4874 Masculine men providing for their women and families are "immature"??? What's immature is your naivety on the issues of masculinity and feminine divine. You go on ahead and be Mrs. Pick'Me for some dusty if you want to... I think you find it odd that a man provides for his woman is because no man has ever loved YOU enough to take the financial load off of your shoulders. Men look at YOU as someone they can get to pay half of the light bill. You seem to be jealous of women who can pull masculine men who are more than capable of financially taking care the house expenses WITHOUT their help.
@picklepoppers82232 жыл бұрын
Very good. Unfortunately most women are not as practical as you and would drain their husbands/partners out financially. You see a household is a unit and both parties must contribute to the well being of that unit.
@cedricspencer720 Жыл бұрын
@@catmouse2882your probably single
@Dontex_r Жыл бұрын
@@chelsieromero4874 exactly. Marriage is a business.
@LoneWolf-sy5ht3 жыл бұрын
This is a real man talking right here in this video.
@ceoofhoneyconjuredlash73263 жыл бұрын
Not going to go 50/50 with my man ♂️👞 that's like a getting a roommate to split the bills an rent with 🤦🏾♀️
@Mental_Alchemist Жыл бұрын
With that selfishness and entitled attitude, he'd be a damned fool to not trade u in for a newer, tighter, and more beautiful woman once he gets tired of renting you out.
@cedricspencer720 Жыл бұрын
How are you his roommate if he pay for everything? No that’s his shit and you just a bum
@Love11904 Жыл бұрын
@@Mental_Alchemist Thats another reason why women shouldn't go 50/50 thanks lol
@Mental_Alchemist Жыл бұрын
@@Love11904 🤦🏿♂️
@jaythenihilist46892 жыл бұрын
How I see it. It's not my job to support a woman. She's a grown adult, she can take care of herself. The only way I would support a woman, is if we have a child together. Like, my child, my DNA. Not some other guys child.
@bratzsnoopy3 жыл бұрын
I’ll pay 50/50 when a pregnancy can be 50/50 as well 😂
@jaylaav11662 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂
@neimyx12 жыл бұрын
Pregnancy is 50/50. Oven can’t cook if it’s nothing in there
@chocolateprincess8543 Жыл бұрын
@@neimyx1 Pregnancy is not 50/50, at all!!!!
@reginahall5890 Жыл бұрын
👌🏾👌🏾
@adityanayak872 Жыл бұрын
@@chocolateprincess8543 The thing is PREGANACY IS A CHOICE. YOUR CHOICE WOMAN .. DEAL WITH IT
@gluckwunschwinston56183 жыл бұрын
When (and if) I split 50:50, it's 50/50 on everything incl. houshold etc. It can't be 50/50 on bills but all the rest falls on the woman. I think as long as both parties are happy with the solution they found, it doesn't matter what the exact splitting of bills and chores is
@mizzstar213 жыл бұрын
Facts!
@bignie8233 жыл бұрын
I’m not splitting bills 50/50. Now dividing in an equitable fashion is something reasonable. One party shouldn’t be destitute and the other person is living more abundantly. It’s not fair. I agree Kev
@Lovetheonewithin3 жыл бұрын
Some women have their own. Mortgage, car, no debt, high wage earner, excellent credit score. I could never build with a man, I think it'll be like being escorted to poverty for the sake of a temporary feeling and a few nice words. Men really need to be ready to provide for a family, before they start talking about love.
@rchot843 жыл бұрын
So a poor man doesn't deserve love or a family?
@Lovetheonewithin3 жыл бұрын
@@rchot84 A poor man should get himself out of poverty before creating children who depend on him. If you can't provide shelter, food and safety for yourself and potential family, you should be working on that. Love is not a priority for a poor man.
@rchot843 жыл бұрын
@@Lovetheonewithin if someone is willing to love and marry poor person whether that be a man or woman that's between those 2. All I am saying is you can't make generalizations and say a whole group of people don't deserve this because they don't have that.
@Lovetheonewithin3 жыл бұрын
@@rchot84 You are free to have your belief as am I. Be well.
@CrystalDatingCoach3 жыл бұрын
KEV Love the advice you give to Women! BUT! No Woman should SPLIT the Check on a Date! You can't afford to pay for a MEAL you can't afford a Girlfriend. Get your ACT together before pursuing Women. You want the company of a Beautiful Female...you OFFER! You don't ask a Woman out on a Date and then ask her for MONEY. Also it does show what the Person thinks of you. If he asks you to SPLIT the CHECK...he's not interested in a Relationship with you! Men have NO problem of offering Women on a Date...they really like. He's not boyfriend. He's not your husband. His "economical" situation is not your problem!
@tylynn2563 жыл бұрын
Good answer Kev. This question can't be answered with a blanket statement. It depends on the couple. There are still traditional couples out there where the man pays for everything and takes care of his woman completely. Those are ok if that's what both ppl want. It's also ok to split the bills according to what each person can afford. As long as you both are in agreement with how things are going to go in the relationship and are flexible to change it's cool.
@Emmeelle1113 жыл бұрын
Th g. Hho
@Emmeelle1113 жыл бұрын
Or you do I need I know I understand c
@Bohemiangoddess2223 жыл бұрын
50/50 is a roommate
@cedricspencer720 Жыл бұрын
So then if he pay for everything what that make you then? A bum
@josiahbutler2254Ай бұрын
@@cedricspencer720no it makes her a woman, women thrive in the household and are good with children and making the house feel like a home. Women are best when doing feminine things…
@snooty41803 жыл бұрын
I think this conversation regarding splitting is relevant to how old you are and what stage of the relationship (young or established). If you are younger, splitting bills may make sense. I think when dating, esp in older and experienced people maybe age 25 and older, the woman shouldn’t pay. In a committed relationship, then a conversation should take place on what that looks like for both people. I teach my 19 yr old son to date and pay. If he can’t afford it, a ice cream date or walk in the park spending quality time is a date. Dating doesn’t always have to be about money.
@KevHick3 жыл бұрын
That’s my point exactly. That’s why I set the context as the young and unestablished. Of course older women should have a different experience. Context matters.
@ameliaking42323 жыл бұрын
IF HE INVITE ME.....100%
@RRthee13 жыл бұрын
I was financially abused this way and years later, well, I now think everyone should get a prenup regardless of their job status, income or age.
@dona44553 жыл бұрын
Once we were permanent, all debt became our debt. Ezch of us got an allowance to spend as we chose the rest went to one fund. Period. All work was shared in the household as well not negotiable
@jonesy32283 жыл бұрын
Whatever works for your household to keep it stable and peaceful. Just act your wage.
@elissarobinson87093 жыл бұрын
I had a man that every month he was asking me for money. We was only together for 4 months until I realized that he was a user. A man that makes money and always want you to take care of him, will never be committed. As much as I liked him, I had to let him go.
@TheRomanPilgriminPerson3 жыл бұрын
If she can't afford the groceries, then he just doesn't get to eat! Go figure, he saddles her with a lot of kids and then expects her to buy groceries? How does she do that, taking care of a house, cleaning, cooking, caring for several kids? Hiring housekeepers/babysitters would cost him an arm and a leg, unless he married her, then she'd have to "contribute" while she was now cleaning, cooking, minding kids without pay.
@RR-us1lt3 жыл бұрын
The ones who get anxious if women don't want 50/50 are the ones who can't provide and are insecure about it. However, statistically you can't expect every man to be a good provider. But it's obvious men all over the world enjoy providing for a woman if he has the means and she is a delight to him. It's human nature. So there is no universal advice to this. If you are an unkempt, miserable woman with no appeal you can't just demand a provider. If you are a gorgeous lady who puts in effort to yourself, the relationship, and the household, you are selling yourself short and making a clown out of yourself being with a man who expects you to do even more and support half the finances. Everything in life is a hierarchy so top percent of men would be demeaned if a woman paid any of his bills and top percent of women would be fools to settle for a non provider. Lines are blurred the farther down you go.
@rochellethundercloud3463 жыл бұрын
It depends on each relationship,and circumstances.if one makes more,they can potentially take on more of the finances . If both make roughly the same,they can potentially split everything. It really is situational.what may work for one couple may not for another
@silviasantana20743 жыл бұрын
The problem is that women in majority of the cases still with a double burden of working in a corporate job and at home. This is definitely not fair. It’s never 50/50
@toriyt27143 жыл бұрын
That statement is really used for people who just want to be able to do what they want and find out the hard way. Yes, things work for different people but that doesn’t cancel the fact that there is the most healthy and sustainable way. A lot of those people that it’s “working” for it’s actually not or doesn’t. They just be suffering behind the scenes for the sake of the marriage or relationship staying intact.
@SR77736 Жыл бұрын
@@silviasantana2074this. Plus we still get paid less than men. So why should we do 50/50?
@bessyisyourbestieforever3164 Жыл бұрын
Your attitude and perspective will make your marriage last a long time. Respect and Blessings to you and your wife. Thank you for sharing.
@kiefajordan95873 жыл бұрын
I’ve honestly been waiting to hear his opinion on this for a long time
@pris_pris2 жыл бұрын
I’m sure you were not shocked to find out he’s a dusty 😂
@laurenhills2392 жыл бұрын
If we go 50/50 then best believe we go 50/50 on chores, childcare etc. Homemaking is a full time job in and of itself so I’ll be dammed to work 2 jobs while a man just splits bills & thinks we are cool. No sir
@null41773 жыл бұрын
Was not expecting this, but I’m not shocked. This is where it becomes a bit difficult for American men to be the preference. If a man can’t afford to provide, he’s not ready for a relationship. Simple. No, this does not give him the green light to go sleep around, it means he needs to work on himself some more. This is why women need to stop giving it up for “free” out of “love”. If you haven’t received that life long commitment = no sex. Period. I would rather live a simplistic lifestyle with man that’s building/providing, than go 50/50. Even my male friends tht are strictly platonic don’t allow me to pay for things.
@rchot843 жыл бұрын
So poor men should be alone their whole lives ..... ok 👌
@Mental_Alchemist Жыл бұрын
Soooo.....You want equal rights, but not equal responsibilty? Who tf r u cleopatra?
@RamonicaCaldwell3 жыл бұрын
I absolutely agree with this message! I’m not “50/50” but I definitely agree with supporting each other so that we both come up together - i guess i agree with proportions instead of absolutes and definitely more than prerequisites.
@cantrice59943 жыл бұрын
Nope and no. Much respect to you Kev but you are sterling women wrong with this advice right here.Ladies don’t do this 50/50 nonsense. The only exception is if you and your partner are young. Yes you need time to establish your career and gain experience women your young so that’s different. Even then ladies if the man does not have ambition and is not trying to move his career and success forward.. then walk away. If you are in your 30’s 40’s and beyond and cannot take on the role of provider.. that’s a problem. It is a prerequisite. Providing is one of a mans man purposes in life. Now I’m not saying life doesn’t happen but as a man you need to be on your grind to take care of your family. You don’t have to be a CEO or whatever... but you are the head of household therefore your responsibilities are to take care of the household period. All this new age man bs needs to stop.. ladies don’t fall for it.
@KevHick3 жыл бұрын
You’re arguing a context of conversation not discussed in this video. You said the exception was if you were young. That’s the exact context I spoke about. Not to be disagreeable but context matters. I spoke directly to the exception.
@cantrice59943 жыл бұрын
@@KevHick I understand what your saying, but you did not specify in the video that you were only speaking to a situation in which the man is young and still building. Yes you gave young yourself as one example, but went on to talk about men in general terms.This lead me to believe your were not just focusing on young men.
@Mental_Alchemist Жыл бұрын
We need to baxk to the 1800s then and take away women's ability to make money then. U cant have it both ways. Equal rights come with equal responsibilities.
@KathleenFulton-u1x3 ай бұрын
50/50, if a woman wants to agree to that, should mean the man doing half the childcare, groceries, cooking, housework and whatever household responsibilities there are, not only the woman paying bills.
@JMeyer11123 жыл бұрын
Alot of men will take themselves out of the equation even if the woman is try to work with him.
@ladawnjones16053 жыл бұрын
I was in shock when I found out that most couples dont share money together. I can understand if u live in separate households. But if u live together and u are in a relationship you both should bill together. Whats the point of a relationship if you cant bud together? U mite as well be single
@tinker22173 жыл бұрын
Some people aren't responsible and sometimes you don't find that out until you're already married. More research should be done and more specific questions should be discussed so things like this don't happen. I totally agree that finances should be together, but sadly it doesn't always work out that way.
@SalmonColoredSalmon6267 Жыл бұрын
I think it also depends on the goals of each party. One person could be interested in growing their career to make more money to do more things with while the other could care less about making extra, so long as the basics are taken care of. I feel it'd be unfair for one person to advocate for more money when they clearly arent interested in doing the work to actually earn it. That also discourages the more motivated party from making more because perhaps they'll be envied for having more, even though they actually choose to do more to get it. Personally I think 50/50 keeps it from one person feeling like they're always doing more than the other. I say this because I also personally have no issue with contributing 50/50 in all the other areas as well like cooking, cleaning, maintenance and child care. In fact, I see being able to do so as somwthing that makes me a better person in general, more capable and I would assume more looked up to as a good example. Of course, on the subject if child care or rather pre-child care (child birth and a certain window of time both leading up to to and afterwards), I would consider that my partner is the one taking on the full responsibility (for us) of birthing OUR child which I cannot do so now its my full responsibility to take care of OUR things that my partner likely can't. That being said, this is only for a certain window and like I said before, I want to take care of my child just as much as my partner and so I would expect us to switch back to 50/50 financially eventually as I also transition into the child care role. It's certainly possible, it's just a matter of who your partner is and what you both want and agree on. Also for this to work, one person can't reap the benefits of both traditional AND contemporary gender roles. It's gotta be one or the other and it's gotta be agreed on and acted out by both parties and to help figure this out, both parties need to be honest and up front about what they realistically want. Again, if you would rather work less and not as hard to make the minimum amount needed, I dont think you should expect to benefit extra from your partners hard work and determination to go above and beyond for the spoils. And actions speak louder than words, you can only say you want to achieve more and then do little to actually make that happen for so long. Hopefully if you really do wanna do more to get more, your partner is willing to help you get there so that you can both be happy and enjoy the spoils.
@latoyadpayne20033 жыл бұрын
Each holdhold should set their own standards of what works for them. As for my household I wouldn't mind going 100/100
@desolateslove65682 жыл бұрын
When me and my boyfriend had to work, he made more than I did so we had an agreement that he would use his money for things we needed like lights, car, gas, etc. and I would use my money for what we wanted like TV shows, fast food, energy drinks, etc. and that way he was the provider and I got to spoil him (he worked more hours and higher position) and when he got to the point where he couldn't deal with the high stress vs low pay he asked me "if I quit my job can you hold down the bills?" I worked every hour I could and spent almost every penny on bills and we couldn't do all of the fun things we used to do we had less than half the money we had before and I had just given birth to our son so I was still healing from that but we stuck by each other and now he is making over twice what we made both working and told me he makes enough that I don't have to have a job and he has ambitions and goals with this new job that he didn't have when we met Some women don't understand that if you love and cherish a man stick with thru the hard times you can watch a pauper turn into a King with loyalty encouragement and patience
@lisabradford81803 жыл бұрын
thumbs up just for the opening message👍👍
@cherie4744 Жыл бұрын
Idk why so many women are disagreeing for the 50/50 I mean it’s totally fair I look pretty and he does everything for me.. that’s what 50/50 is right
@goodfortune54803 жыл бұрын
He buys the food and she cooks it.. gurrl you better learn how to cook, he's going to leave your a** if you burn the Mac n cheese out of the box lol 😆
@j.dillonthescene3 жыл бұрын
I don't believe in 50/50 anything never have never will and to each is their own 😎🥃
@jacquelynlinn15053 жыл бұрын
Man Kev. Thank you!!!! What a confirmation that I needed to hear. I’m going to forward this!!! (Had to edit)… thank you for your guidance and honesty!!
@nofacade1003 жыл бұрын
Great point of view. I really enjoyed listening. Financial issues are the leading cause of divorce so I think even before getting married, the financials of the household should be worked out.
@playetful3 жыл бұрын
I think both of them should. Because you never what could happen in life. I agree splitting things by their portion.
@nonaperry54033 жыл бұрын
Great video Kev. I agree❤
@mindset_olympics26 ай бұрын
Lol this video made me understand 50/50❤ thanks Kevin
@parkerlion1563 жыл бұрын
This is a great one. Especially with the "Blue and Red Pill" kerfuffle.
@达努佳3 жыл бұрын
In those days, women allowed to work nor would they be paid a lot. Today it's different though many women still earn lesser, if your spouse isn't financially stable obviously help each other out. So if you're broke and your rich boyfriend makes you pay better run the other way because that really inconsiderate
@polishedbrother Жыл бұрын
Its not an equal dynamic financially when the man has to pay for another mans responsibility ; but that wasn’t mentioned. Men should avoid those situations anyway. Men don’t have a problem paying all the bills if the woman is willing to live off of his income. But she’s not
@ameliaking42323 жыл бұрын
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
@djayscruggs87863 жыл бұрын
I don't know why everyone talks bout 50/50 bs stuff you go into a relationship because u want to be with that person no matter what ur income is building each other up make memories even if it struggle cause u look back n appreciate what you have n what u accomplish together we both made the kids we both take care of them we wash there clothes clean house make food you ain't a queen u ain't got people or live in a castel you ain't a king you don't rule over any one you have no royalties you are men n a woman there no written thing when ur born who will take care of who we take care of each other build each other if u hurt going to labor of course a man take care his responsibility but if there no child you should help each other to provide n help build your future to have a family it my though n opinion
@brankovil61812 жыл бұрын
Amazing best explanation ever heard, couldn’t agree more - you nailed it right on the head🎯 💯 Long live speaker ! Ladies, listen carefully, this guy knows what he’s talking about and says it exactly as it is
@sabibaliaj71873 жыл бұрын
You are realy good person and good man...so if there were lots of men like you the world be much better
@queenofdivas54943 жыл бұрын
First time, I gotta disagree with you. You will never have the SAME disposable income if the income is disproportioned....part of being a man is being a provider, if he ain’t ready to be that, then he should be single.
@k_38463 жыл бұрын
His wife loves him because he makes it a team why should he be single and unloved because of what he’s saying , cmon now the ignorance
@lovelyrennie3 жыл бұрын
Chef's kiss ✨
@lynchsc4202 жыл бұрын
Finally a “Simp” that makes sense. I like that he addressed the modern situation rather than this fantasy world traditional men and women want to live in.
@rur12793 жыл бұрын
💯 But also the one who asks for the date should be the one paying the bill.
@ashleyschannel4066 Жыл бұрын
My grandpa work 12 hours, cook, clean and paid the bills! I don’t see how women are okay with going 50/50. When a man have a great woman he won’t worry about splitting!
@patrynaswritings76173 жыл бұрын
Interesting viewpoint thanks for sharing
@zero11883 жыл бұрын
agreed, splitting things really isnt that big of a deal. alot of women say they hate but when you look they are often alone
@danbee415 Жыл бұрын
i dont think it should be exactly 50/50 nor no one should expect it, but its more complicated then what im making it out to be. if buying a house, it should be 50/50 contribution. if its day to day running costs like paying the meal, I don't see the problem in the husband paying for the whole bill, then the next meal the wife pays the whole meal. it may not be exactly 50/50 as different bills may be different amoounts but you get the idea. maybe i'm just not as fussed about the exacts. It's hard to describe a complicated topic since there are the nuances of coming across as stingy you see.
@kiera1813 жыл бұрын
Very balanced perspective!
@jl9163 жыл бұрын
This is one of my favorite videos from you. Thank you for the insight. This means so much and I appreciate your work!
@vaishnavianand8307 Жыл бұрын
Completely agree
@tywanbrown30343 жыл бұрын
I think that if both people are starting out together then going 50/50 what ever 50/50 may mean for the both of you then its fine. I don't think its fair to think that just because he makes more he/she makes more money then they should be the ones to always pay.
@kingjungl393 жыл бұрын
Rather be single
@samnedumedja5323 Жыл бұрын
My brother, that 50/50 in proportionally based on the income works when the man is making more money. What happens when the woman makes more money? In proportion means that someone is elevating the other? Where I am from men tale care of all the bills and beyond.
@sayixmultiverse10593 жыл бұрын
Don't have to be 50/50 just as long as we have an abuse free relationship in all platforms and serve God. And we increase our positive energy between one and another. And no fornicating, and no toxic bs and we straight.
@naim55629 ай бұрын
But if I’m doing that for the rest of my life then Noo I would not be doing that… that’s why a man should always be working on his money as he gets older so in case y’all do have kids it shouldn’t be a requirement.
@aprilshowers3331 Жыл бұрын
Why would a woman want to pay 50/50? That’s a roommate. Often times, catering to a man is a full time job…I’m not compromising my worth🚫
@thexgamerstation17303 жыл бұрын
If I pay all the bills what purpose does a woman have in my Castle
@aHailey2 жыл бұрын
Cooked food and clean house lol 😆
@Jda41602 жыл бұрын
I don’t need cooked food or a clean house
@joannamonique7072 жыл бұрын
@@aHailey why do chicks not realize that on a physical level cooking and cleaning is not equal tp someone paying for 100% of you're living expenses. If there aren't any kids yet and you and your man aren't pigs, you're only gonna be cooking and cleaning up for a few hours a day. If you went out and got a job doing that you'd barely be making enough to cover a car note and a light bill. It's not an equal transaction. Even with kids, they don't need constant supervision their entire lives. Once kids get to about 10 years old they are pretty self sufficient and expected to do chores so mom wouldn't be doing everything. What men want in exchange for provision is a woman qho loves them unconditionally and respects and appreciates them. Cooking and cleaning is not nearly enough for what women are asking for. When you factor in that the man is also expected to risk his life at any given moment to protect the woman the transaction just becomes more unequal. A man can hire a maid. Ya can't hire someone to provide for you.
@aHailey2 жыл бұрын
@@joannamonique707 who gives a flying crap 😂 I'm traditional not some pick mesha
@Mental_Alchemist Жыл бұрын
@@aHailey u seem pretty useless in a man's life and really not much different than an escort. I have no idea why a guy wouldnt want to trade u in for a newer model in a few years.
@wockygz91212 жыл бұрын
she should help out with rent . This is not the 1800s where we grew our own food an hunt for it . Times change things are more expensive she is not your child
@carlisamitchell67453 жыл бұрын
Sensible smart man right here.
@celinejb47303 жыл бұрын
I use to be ashamed of my marriage until I surround myself with older asian women. In my marriage I pay for everything because I make more money. I build my husband to the best of my ability but it comes from him to want to be ambitious. He’s gotten better financially thorough out the years but I still significantly makes more money than him. I’m 35 & he’s 36, we’ve been together for 16 years.
@pimpnamedslickback7780 Жыл бұрын
Yes but also split the chores. It's about being a team player
@l.s.21513 жыл бұрын
First video I've disagreed with from you. But that's ok, we can't agree on everything 😊
@brandnew26773 жыл бұрын
❤️ I think I just changed my level of thinking
@Insightful_Locs3 жыл бұрын
They actually makes a lot of sense
@davidlaney3711 Жыл бұрын
3:00 he explained perfectly
@truarnett55193 жыл бұрын
I agree it depends on where you start off and how young you are. If I was in my twenties, early thirties or whatever I would be probably cool with that but I think a man's instinct is he wants provide for his woman. But these ones in their late thirties, forties, fifties, you are just not prepared. What were you thinking? ! We women have to be fair also, don't just go looking for a man to provide everything for you. I'm just saying... You are a good teacher Kev! Thank you. 🙏💙🙏💙🙏
@ekiagboghidi80662 жыл бұрын
A man is the head of the home & should be d provider a woman should only support.