Should you disclose a disability on a first date? | ABC Australia

[@kaizen_5091]

With a physical disability myself that cannot be spotted or understood at first meeting I can relate to this dilemma of 'shall I disclose or not?'. We all have our needs, wants and dreams of the type of life we want with a partner. Being mindful of this, I feel it's best to disclose sooner rather than later. My humble opinion, let things flow and take their natural course. If circumstances make it so you need to reveal it then do, if circumstances don't then maybe share if there is a second date. Trust that the person who is not okay with what you share is not deserving of you and be loving and kind enough to yourself to ensure you spend time with people who are okay with what is a large part of who you are.

[@caniyu6681]

totally agree

[@Bowdon]

It's good to see disability being mentioned in videos like this these days. I'd say the problem with disability is the label. Everyone is different. In this situation the answer might depend on if its a visible disability, how much it effects you in your life etc. On my first ever date with a girl I'd been typing to on the computer and speaking to her on the phone. Then we arranged to meet at her parents house and I was going to stay the night. It was at the other end of the country so I had to drive there. I hadn't told her about my disability and as I was driving there I was having second thoughts that I should have told her. When I met her I could see the surprise in her face. Her family was surprised to. None of them commented negatively. But after that weekend nothing else happened. On the next relationship I did tell the girl about my disability before meeting her. She was able to talk to her family and friends about disability issues. That relationship lasted many years.

[@deborahwatson2432]

Loved your video! ❤️ You are definitely very talented!

[@doyoumind.atall.stopspying5572]

People see the disability not the person

[@Quotient153]

Wow. Thank you for sharing. It was somewhat triggering. I also had a stroke and now trying to figure out how to navigate the dating world. To disclose or withhold? I appreciate hearing your perspective. Wishing you the best

[@mumble.jumbles]

I hope he does a follow-up on future dating experiences, or anything. Curious if he decides to disclose.

[@DC-xr7yt]

I was talking to a person online for two years and the whole time he was on a wheel chair and all he told me was that he broke one leg, but when I finally met him I observed he has disability in his arms and both legs. The trust is shaken. What do you think, should he have disclosed or not?

[@NoNopeAndNo]

Clearly yes

[@mikeybear]

Thanks for sharing your story Caleb.

[@mindfullyinjuredlena]

Hey from Denmark 🇩🇰 I have similar injury and I’m trying to explain early on in small bites because I don’t want to waste my time anymore 😏 but it’s hard and many ppl say no..

[@comealongcomealong4480]

I think you chose right not to disclose first out. Your new identity had never been on a date before. So you let your first identity take the reins on that one. I rewound your video a few times. First, to really take in the excruciating details of the 4km walk, your too small shoes, saliva pool, blisters !😨 and undeclared misty vision. And second, to pick up a few words, like "pump" at the gym. The human spirit is a wondrous thing🌱 You shared here your desire for intimacy and connection, your perhaps premature leap! and your real buzz waiting for his call. Hope you've had more dates since this first run. I can fully imagine you getting together with a guy who you meet as You first (perhaps through film school), so that's known by the time you hook up. Thanks for shining this lantern on your path 🔦

[@monicaking2140]

Interesting, yes what to do…. What’s to much information on a first date but could make a difference to how it goes

[@ick8886]

Is there more??